TRINITYCOLLEGE#HARTF IB I ORD. CONNECTICUT AterfA P"^H^HI Vol. & Issue ^priM&MM^ .„ rt

T -^•- —^B_ Asimov Speaks To Packed House both the cyclical evolution of man and the fact of these instinctual and inexpli- -By Bob Vincelette- the remarkable adaptability and poten- cable gifts that separates us from com- News Staff Wriic.%: tial of the human mind. "The human puters," Asimov explained, "which are brain is magnificent thing. It weighs good at the mechanical stuff." only three pounds, but those are the most When asked about the implica'tions On Wednesday, April 20th, renowned complex three pounds that we know of. of artificial intelligence research and the writer and teacher Dr. Isaac Asimov The brain is far more complex than a possibi lity of computers that would have came to Trinity to discuss "The Futuris- star. That's why we know jo much about this same creative quality, Asimov sim- tic Role of Computers." Asimov has stars and so little about the brain." ply asked why we would want to build published an unprecedented 389 books Asimov asserted that the kind of such machines. on various subjects, and he currently has mundane drudgery that people are forced Asimov admitted that his Utopian another ten or so in syndication. By the to endure, even now, to survive is dan- vision was far from prophetic fact, and end of the year, he may be able to boast gerous. "We can only fulfill the true he admitted that there are problems a full 400 published books, and he is spectrum of our possible advancement," inherent in the solution itself. Even already the single most prolific writer in he said, "through the pursuit of those though computers have been a boon to the history of the United States. individual talents and interests that make industry, they have taken over many jobs Asimov is known primarily as a writer us who we are." Asimov stressed that that were previously performed by human of science fiction, and some of his more this total freedom for the individual workers. Asimov seems to feel that this known works include Fantastic Voy- pursuit of happiness was the best of all is good in the long run. According to age, the Foundation trilogy and iis possible conditions. He claimed that only Asimov, humans should not be perform- sequel, Foundation's Edge, and Ro- when we are free to pursue our interests ing these repetitive and menial tasks bots of Dawn; all besl-sellers. It was without worry of what is useful or prof- anyway, and most of (he time, the com- appropriate, therefore, for Dr. Asimov to itable, will we have a world in which we puters do it better. "gaze into his crystal ball," as he put it, can gain all of the benefits to be had from He admits, however, that the process and speculate as to what the future holds our individual gifts. He warned, how- that would bring about his dream world for computers and what computers hold ever, that there arc many people whose would not only entail the reeducation of in store for the future. gifts go unnoticed or unused. Not only these misplaced human workers, but it According to Asimov, there are really the working class, but all people are in would also require a radical restructur- two distinct ways of viewing the advent ing of our entire educational system. danger of slipping into a mindless exis- Foundation series author Issac Asimov. Photo by Dave Copland of the computer age. "One can be either tence of toil and worldly concerns. "It's "We need a new style of teaching that frightened or heartened," he said, "It's a this mechanical stuff that kills the brain," would allow people to study and pursue lot easier to be afraid of the new...it's a Asimov said. precisely what they want to learn," he lot easier to be suspicious of the un- Asimov sees the computer as a way of continued, "rather than those things that David Boms Appointed known, than it is to welcome them." dealing with precisely this problem. It is somebody decides they have to know." Sympathizing with the latter perspec- true that computers and computerized Asimov seems to paint a picture of an tive, Asimov went on to trace the origins machinery havealready been phased into upcoming era of cultural upheaval. More First Dean Of Admissions of the computer's present importance in much of our industry, with great success. than once, he mentioned the possibility culture, economy, and politics. He traced Asimov considers the computer a that the computer age, fraught as it is -By Bob Vincelette- member of the executive board of the back the history of the human race to the means of lifting the worry of daily toil with inherent difficulties, could bring News Staff Writer Michigan Association of College Ad- dawn of civilization, through the classi- and "mechanical stuff, from all people. about more losses than gains. "We are at missions Counselors since 1982. cal age of Greece and Rome, the French The freedom and ease of life that would a crossroads, and (he path we take could Next July, Trinity bids farewell to For all of his travelling, however, Revolution, and the Industrial Age. The follow would allow everyone to pursue lead to paradise or to cultural and social present director of admissions Donald Borus looks forward to coming back to point of this comprehensive but brief their interests, be they in art, sports, strife that might well destroy us," he W. Dietrich, and welcomes back alum- Trinity. He greeted the prospect of this overview was to stress to the audience physics, or automobile mechanics. "It is concluded. nus David M. Borus '68, who will under- position with excitement. "I've liked all take the position of Dean of Admissions the schools I've worked at," he explained and Financial Aid. "but when your alma matter is a possibil- Ta'ziyeh Passion Play To Highlight The position of Dean of Admission ity- that's a job you look at seriously. I and Financial Aid is a newone at Trinity. feel a certain affection for Trinity, and I Reporting directly to the president, the look forward to this position as a chance Weekend Iran Culture Conferences Dean will have overall responsibility for to repay some of the good things the but neither she nor anyone else has had "The Ta'ziyeh are spectacular Persian the recruitment of students and the fi- school did for me." Asa Trinity student, -By Sean Dougherty- the experience of producing Ta'Ziyeh in musical dramas which form part of the nancial aid program. Creation of this Borus was an English major and worked New.i Editor any language but Persian. annual Shi'ite ritual of mourning during post is intended to further strengthen as a D3 at WRTC. "The idea came from a desire to do the festival of Muharram. In addition to Trinity's position in the competitive In considering the admissions proc- Trinity will host two related confer- another Medieval play, after Wisdom the religious plays, there are many recruitment field. ess, Borus tries to think of the mutual ences on Iranian Culture this weekend. was so successful back in 1984.1 men- Ta'ziyeh plays which enact events from "Dr. Borus brings to this position in- "fit" between student and school. He The centerpiece that will tie the two tioned my desire to produce another traditional Persian culture, which pre- depth admissions experience gained at feels that the decision of who should be conferences together is the first produc- medieval play to people over lunch. Ron dated even the coming of Islam. They quality liberal arts colleges, and a strong admitted to a school "is not easily re- tion in English of Moses and the Wan- Keiner [Trinity Professor of Religion] also embody many special dramatic background in admissions and policy- duced to mere numbers." Far more dering Dervish, a Shi'ite passion play suggested a Persian passion play. He features not well-known to Western making," said President English when important should be "whether or not the preformed in the Ta'Ziyeh, a Persian didn't know much about them, but it theater audiences." he announced the appointment on March student is likely to be successful, pro- dramatic format. sounded interesting," said Riggio. Riggio was to have visiting Professor 30th, "He has both the experience and ductive, and happy in the environment vision to manage a highly effective offered by the school," he said. Moses and the Wandering Dervish The funding for the project has come of English, David Parry, direct the play. After investigating the culture involved, admissions program in an increasingly Borus went on to say that college is being promoted as a "hauntingly beau- from several sources, the major ones competitive era." tiful Sufi play adapled from a Persian being The National Endowment for the Parry was forced to decline. "He de- should be a give and take experience, poem. Though not one of the central Humanities,The Hartford Seminary, and cided that the tradition was too new and Borus had served as director of admis- with both the student and the institution Iran Cultural Society, in addition to distinctive for him. ft [the play] is in sions for Kalamazoo College in Michi- gaining from the process. He places Ta'ziyeli dramas it illustrates this dra- considerable importance on bringing a matic form without intruding on on the several college departments and the Persian and no translation had been made gan since 1981, and at Earlham College endowment fund. into English of the actual dialogue [plot in Indiana, where he was in charge of all diverse mix of people into the institu- religious mysteries of Shi 'ism. The play summaries had been translated]. We admissions related research and was tion. He is concerned with ethnic and combines scenes of classical simplicity "These conferences should make the knew nothing about the directing or the involved in student recruitment, publi- racial diversity, but he felt that "other which focus on aspects of Islamic Sufi country more aware of Trinity College. acting style. There was just no way to do cations planning and office management. important types of diversity are too often mysticism with scenes which present Before the grant from the National En- it," said Riggio. He has worked in higher education overlooked; that is, socio-economic and visions of the Plain of Karbala and of dowment we were virtually unheard of Peter Chelkowski of New York Uni- administration in one aspect or another religious diversity, as well as diversity of Heaven and Hell. The play will be pre- by serious Middle-Eastern scholars. It is since 1972, and had taught English for experiences and background." Borus sented in the traditional manner, out- very important not only for the cultural versity had written a book on the subject of Persian Drama and Riggio contacted four years before that. feels that an important question for a doors, by torchlight in a beautiful court- significance of the first production of a Dean of Admissions to ask is "What can yard setting at the college," Ta'ziyeh play in English but also for the him in hopes of finding a director. Borus served on the M id west Regional Chelkowski was eventually contracted Executive Committee of the College each student learn about others from The performance is the brainchild of respect and recognition that it will bring others?" the College," said Riggio. to teach a graduate course at Trinity, and Board from 1984-1987. He is a member LT. Milla Riggio, Chairman of the Eng- of the National Association of College Dietrich, who has served Trinity as "sh Department. Riggio has had other The brochure created for the produc- Admissions Counselors, the American director of admissions since 1981, will experience producing Medieval Drama, tion defines the Ta'ziyeh as follows: Continued on Page 3 Association of Collegiate Registrars and take a new post at the Tower Hill School Admissions Officers and has been a in Wilmington, Delaware. College Expenses Rise With Endowment tuition. The areas of annual giving, the total Educational and General cost will -By John Claud- Illinois Scholarship, the Austin Arts rise to $32,700,000. News Staff Writer Center and miscellaneous income all fell The Campaign for Trinity benefits from their previous year totals. the budget three ways. According to Trinity College's Board of Trustees Accordingly, the school's expenses Alan R. Sauer, Business manager and has approved the school's operating have risen in almost every category. The Budget director for Trinity, "Two ways budget for the 1988-1989 year. The total general instruction expense will rise over are immediate. For next fiscal year, the budget has increased more than 10% $1 million in 1988-1989. The computer College will use foroperation $4,675,000 over the current year, rising from instruction fee will move from $617,000 for endowment income. These are funds $35,422,000 to $39,121,500. to $740,000. The subtotal expenses for we have received in the past but were Despite the funds raised by Trinity's Administration and services, including unable to [utilize]. As the Campaign Capital Campaign, tuition will rise al- the library, student services, and opera- receives more money, that figure will most 10% for next year, moving from tional maintenance, will rise to increase. $ 11,295 to Si 2,380. Total student fees, $25,278,000 from $22,988,000. "At the beginning of the Campaign a including tuition, room and board, and a The subtotal of the financial aid funds, decision was made that each year re- general fee will top the $16,000 mark, including fellowships, and other educa- gardless of much money might be re- totaling $16,800. tional programs will rise only slightly. ceived, Trinity College would only take Trinity's total revenues have in- Approximately $4 million will be avail- in a certain amount for operations. creased each of the past three years, but able for general financial aid. The schools Anything over and above that we will revenue from some specific individual contingency fund, which suffered last •n. „. . . Photo by Sue Muik sources has dropped, forcing the rise in year, will contain $145,000 while the Continued on Page 3 ' ne Kings of Rapp" rock the house at Spring Weekend. PAGE 2, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, APRIL 27,1988 Op-Ed Better Parking Policies Needed To the Editor, ulty parking. This makes so much sense Lastly, what's wrong with paving I do not wish this to be yet another it's staggering. A friend recently put this some of areas behind Elton, Wheatonor Editorial letter describing the incompetence dem- to me in the following way. Why should Funston? It couldn't cost that much and onstrated by our Security department. we (the students) have to walk all the would greatly increase the space. These This issue of the Tripod was produced from one factor: To be honest, I think that Trinity security way across campus (I live in South spots wouldn't even have to be paved, sheer necessity. I mean, how else where we supposed to has improved in most areas in the past Campus) when we live here? How many dirt is fine. The bottom line is getting produce a well thought out, serious and credible publication, two years. The improvements have not other jobs do you know of where the some space. been tremendous, but they have been employees can park directly in front of On a similar note, it really angers me when our entire staff was out partying our respective rear- noticeable. However, I can no longer sit their office? Most (like in the city of that students pay a phenomenal tuition to ends off with the rest of the campus this past weekend? Ah and watch Security's ridiculousness in Hartford) have to park in specified lots attend here, pay an outrageous car regis- yes, you remember that perpetual "Spring Weekend Hang- the handling of student parking. For two and walk the block or two to work. At tration fee and are so diligently ticketed over that you've had since Monday? Well, so do we (Oh God, years 1 have patiently waited for security home, however, of course its different. and towed. Its almost as if security is to wake up and handle a situation that has They have their driveways or streets that saying, "Well, we can't stop the vandal- do we ever!) .So this week, the Tripod decided to give most of grown into quite a frustrating and com- they can park in or on directly in front of ism, car break-ins, the stealing of student it's writers a break from our usual professional journalism plex one when, actually, it really is simple. their homes; so why can't we? What's vehicles and the assaults upon students (**cough** **hack** **wheeze**) and we let them investigate In this letter I am offering ideas that the difference? We live here and should that happen consistently, so, lets get the some of the more. ..interesting aspects of life, on and off Trinity's have been bottled up inside me for two be able to park less than one quarter of a only people we can catch; the students." campus. years. I cannot guarantee that these ideas mile away from our residence. While security catches the students whose constitute a complete solution, but if To further support the preceding para- catching the people committing the real Some of the humor in these pages is casually sprinkled in they ever were followed the inevitable graph, wouldn't it be a lot smarter to put crimes? I think security should take a with the real news. We'll let you guys figure out which is positive effect that they would have on the faculty in this lot because of the time good look at themselves and realize that which. Also, some of this humor is definitely PG-13 rated. the parking problem would be extremely period in which they will be parked? In concentrating on the neighborhood van- Anyone out there in the reading audience under 13 years old? significant. other words, almost all faculty are here dals who do just about anything they No? Good and....no no, if you feel like you're under 13, that First, and what seems to be most between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 please and must return to their homes obvious. Restrict freshmen from having p.m., thus, that is when their cars are on laughing at our security system is a lot doesn't count. Besides, the College View won't let you in the cars on campus. True, I am a senior and campus. This makes the lot extremely more important than passing out high- this is easy for me to say, but, a large easy to patrol because of the time of costing parking tickets to the people who amount of other schools do this, why parking is quite specific and during the pay their salaries. strange anomalies, quips can't we? I don't think I would be daytime. Simply, build a small hut and I'm on my way out of here in a month heavily insulted if I was a freshman hire a guard (easily a student) to sit and and none none of this will matter to me, downright lies (nothing really different from our normal because it would be the same for all watch for the duration. If students ever but, for the people who are on their way issues). However, in case of a libel suit, we as editors are freshmen in their class and the ones wish to take a tremendous chance and up it does. It really is about time security prepared to defend ourselves if necessary to our final dolla... following. Soon, it wouldn't even be park there (an absolute ridiculous loca- stopped talking about what "will be"and what??? You mean the administration controls our budget? seen as a "right" that has been taken tion for a parking lot when it is a literal finally make what "will be" now. Enough away, but, instead, it would seem fair stone's throw from the surrounding vio- is really enough. (Uh oh...where is that damn plane ticket?) Well, without lent neighborhood) they can do it after, further adieu, the Tripod hopes that you have more fun and normal because every freshman class had to do this. say, 6:00 p.m.. Then, they can chance Sincerely, reading this, than we had writing it (ooooo.... where's that Second, make that useless parking lot walking across the baseball field without extra-strength Tylenol?). R.A.E. on the corner of Vernon and Broad Fac- getting assaulted or mugged. Mark Galley '88 Alumnus Angry At Commendations To Chatfeld And Congratulations Trinity Adminstration Greenberg For SNCC Conference Matt and Sara To the Editor, at Trinity and our by-laws do not allow To the Editor, of us who came into our own political To Matt and Sara, My social, economic, and political female members. Mr. Smith told me not I'm sure that many members of consciousness in the late 60's and early You are to be congratulated on your philosophies have been at odds with the to worry because the College did not Trinity's community would join me in 70's, the SNCC conference set off a recent SGA election victory.—As-the College administration formany years. I favor having fraternities as they were expressing great appreciation to Jack similar wave of past recollection and Tripod accurately reported last week, am writing to air a few of my bones of passe and not necessary. He then dropped Chatfield and Cheryl Greenberg for their present empowerment. Perhaps most the election was close, but you were contention. the bombshell that Trinity needed the work in putting together the SNCC con- importantly, students seemed to find the clearly the winners. In case you are Last tear I received a letter from Vice land now occupied by fraternities for ference held here last week. For those conference extremely informative and wondering how the results were tallied, President Tom Smith in which he stated expansion of the College. who helped to mold the changes which inspiring. For all of this, and for the Dean Peters and Dean Pulver helped us that Trinity had only four or five marx- Since this astounding letter, I have occurred during the early 60's, the con- linking of eras, I am grateful. to make sure votes were counted accu- ists in the faculty! That means that received six requests for donations of ference seemed to be a powerfully nos- rately and reported faithfully. tuition, donations and endowment funds, money to Trinity. I ask why should I talgic, reenergizing experience. For those Paula Chu-Richardson Best of luck in the coming year. earned entirely by capitalism, are being give money to Trinity so they can buy used to pay salaries to socialist/commu- my DKE house? Sincerely, nist teachers who wish to replace private Finally, I suggest strongly that Trinity enterprise with socialism. I object Poitras Replies To Attack Art Muldoon '88 stay out of politics and social issues. President, SGA strongly. Divestment is an abject failure and was Mr. O' Loughlin, PSA seeks to bar the CIA from recruiting I also wrote to Mr. Smith on the sub- an action both stupid and naive. Let me start out by thanking you for on campus. jects of fraternities at Trinity being forced Sincerely, taking the time out to read my article. It Your letter points out the number of John & Dan to invite female students. I was a Deke Jack Smith White, '40 had an obvious impact on you as your events that have been, and are scheduled letter reflects. As mine was not a news to inform the Trinity community of CIA TRINITY CULLEGL article, I should hope that people did not activities. The fact that I did not mention rely on it for their sole source of in forma- these events is no greater injustice than Candidacy tion on the CIA protest, at least not your "facts of the day" that neglected the anymore than the Trinity community valuable services the CIA has provided Raises Issues based their views on the CIA entirely on this country. We both seem to have the "facts of the day" the PSA provided. created our unique journalistic priori- To the editors: Mr O' Loughlin, you state I have ties. I would like to address several issues raised in Toh Tsun Lim's April 20th Editor-in-Chief devoted only two paragraphs in my ar- Finally, it seems you had trouble fol- ticle concerning the CIA protest. Let me lowing "four, count 'em, four" examples article, "Maginniss and Moorin Victori- Rohei t E "Oh my head" Cot kt>w n address your concern in two ways. First, in my article. The purpose of my article ous." The election rules, as they stand, my article was not only about how the was again to cover the spectrum of stu- do not specify that a last name must be PSA went about seeking to ban the CIA dent activism, not jus! your group. You placed on a ballot for it to be counted. from recruiting at Trinity or about what might have an even harder time realizing Although this might be implicit, there is Bad-Ass News Putfe? Unproductive Editor the PSA has done to inform us of the I only specifically addressed three, count no written, hard and fast rule which has Richard A E\yini> CIA's wrongdoings. Second, I did deal 'em, three issues of student activism in been voted on by the body of the S.G.A. Scan Doughei !y Furthermore, The Constitution of the Toh Tiun Ltm with the CIA to the greatest extent of any my article: the CIA, racism, and the of the subjects I covered, I count four senior petition. May I suggest that the S.G.A. does not currently state that the "Hunk-Ra1"? Minister Of Green Stuff paragraphs about the CIA, you count next time you see a student newspaper office of President must be held by one Urn Walsh two, the two that had "PSA" in the same writer inflicted with the disease of over- person. Matthew G Millet' paragraph. I am right. simplification you remember the old With regards to the content of the My article was on student activism on adage, "Physician, check your math." article itself, I was shocked by the lack of Head Arts Chick Where Are These Guys? Trinity's campus in general and not a Maybe you would be interested in pro- respect which the Tripod showed to Aletiftidia Biuke William Sullivan cover story for the PSA. I addressed viding Trinity a history of the PSA's Messrs. Carter and Sutton (that's John Giea,oiy Poitias instances in which I believed groups, the activities on campus. I am not. and Dan to you), by referring only to Stave to Nikon PSA included, had trivialized their ac- their first names throughout the article. If you are going to discuss the first name/ Sue Mink tivism and I stand by my argument. If Sincerely, s Surveyor of Oddities you find my conclusion offensive, you last name question, then I think that it' Minister of Capitalism share an emotion similar to what the only fair that you do enough research to Wendy Rowlings Gregory Poitras find out those last names. Michelle hiael majority of this campus feels when the World Outlook Editor Having been a member of the Student Town Crier Government for the past three years,' Gripe Editor would like to believe that the Election s Tonya Rommamei e Petei Bet qwall committee acted in a just manner. However, I would like to say that Messrs. Carter and Sutton, in their bid for tne Presidency of the S.G.A. and their sub- NOTE: The Tripod accepts ami prims letters to the editor and longer opinion ankles. We accept World coming to an end, sequent letter to the editor which ap"; submissions in the following popular formats: typed and double spaced hard copy, of on computer disk peared in these pages last week, raisefl. (Macintosh ;w/«r«A IBM PC, AT&T or compatible and App\e][seriesformatsalso accepted!. Any sub- some important questions (couched'jj. missions generated on the Halklen Va\ computer may he mailed directly suREWINCS on\AX1. Although See Features their humour) which must be addressed, there is no limit to length, the editor reserves the right to condense letters of mare than 250 words. All letters if the S.G.A. wants to survive. must have a personal signature m be printed, although anonymity will be honored, if desired. All letters submitted by Wednesday, 12 noon will he considered for publication. Letters can be brought to the Tripod office (Jackson basement) or placed in campus mail. Box 1310. Submitted computer disks will he returned Respectfully yours, if the author's hu.v number is included with the submission. If there are any further questions, the editorial Andrew C. Blume board can be reached at 246-IH29. And if you read all this, you must reull\ be a stupid weenie. Get a life. Chairman, SGA Constitutions Conim"- tee & Dorm Representative j APRIL 17,1988, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, PAGE 3 News d Iran Conferences To Be Held ving experts on Iranian life from all over the inoi Continued From Page 1 clude: "The Twentieth Century Chal- country to Trinity for a three day sympo- lenge: Political and Religious Issues in introduced Riggio to Mohammad Ghaf- sium, April 30 to May 2. The events Shi'ism and Sunnism," led by Khalid fari, the play's director. Ghaffari has taking place on May 2 will be held at Duran of Temple University; "Women vet been visiting in the drama department Hartford Seminary and are not open to in Contemporary Islam," led by Eliza- and has been an actor and,director in the public. beth Fernea of the University of Texas; New York. He is fluent in both Persian Students interested in attending the "Culture and Performance: The and English. onto' events of the two conferences should Ta'ziyeh," led by William Beeman of The play will be performed in the contact either Riggio or Carol Lawson of Brown University, as well as Parry and courtyard between the Library and Clem- Special Academic Programs to register Ghaffari; and "Forms of the Ta'ziyeh ;cteJ ent Chemistry building. The play is a ty is f in advance. Students may also pick up Practice and the Impact on Iranian Arts," performance pass event, but seating is registration packets at Austin Arts Cen- by Samuel R. Peterson, of Seymour, limited and several shows have already ter on Saturday morning which will de- Connecticut. sold out to conference registries. There fats tail the locations of the lectures and A variety of lectures will highlight is no formal seating for the play, except seminars to be held this weekend. "We Sunday's activities. Chelkowski will for benches for the handicapped. As expect people to sign up early. You can't lecture on "Drama and Culture in Iran: with traditional performances, the audi- 'hose just drop in because of limited space. We An Illustrated Lecture" at 10:30 a.m.. ence wiilbeexpectedtositon the ground. need to know how many people to ex- Seyyed Nasr of George Washington U. :reaT. Students are more likely to be able to jkeai pect so we can make sure our room will discuss "Shi'ism: Doctrine, Prac- attend the traditional midnight perform- selections are appropriate," said Riggio. tice, and History," at 1:15 p.m.. ances on Friday and Saturday, April 30 van- A National Endowment for the Hu- Mahmoud Ayoub, from the University and May 1. John Wolley, the director of manities grant has funded Saturday as a of Toronto give a lecture entitled "From they Austin Arts is overseeing the production ornes j' "day of general education," Two lec- Poetry to Drama: Background to the and questions of ticked availability tures will be held in the morning, while Ta'ziyeh Passion Play." All lecturers a loi' should be directed lo the Austin Arts high- the afternoon will host a variety of semi- are published experts in Islamic history. :who Center. nars, panel discussions, and another A round table on the production of Moses Dr. Milla Riggio, Chairman of the English Department. The first conference, entitled [RAN: lecture. and the Wandering Dervish, led by ! Riggio, Parry, and Ghaffari, will be held nonlh Its Religion, Culture and Popular Be- Chelkowski will give a lecture on Two performances of Persian music University, and the Tehran Conserva- liefs, will be held April 30 and May I and "Iran, Past and Present— and in Color," a 4:00 p.m.. o me,: will accompany the conferences as well. tory of Music. rway' include lectures on religion, women, at 9:00 a.m. His talk will be followed by Other public events include a show- DariushDolat-shahi will perform at7:30 A second concert will given by Mo- airily f drama and art, in Iran. William Beeman, Brown University, ings of Iran-related films Lion de Dieu, Saturday night. Dolat-shahi has per- hammad Razi Lotfi at 8:00 p.m., Sun- The second conference is entitled who will speak on "Cultural Perform- and The Lover's Wind, at Cinestudio. formed at Carnegie Hall in New York, day. Lotf i has been brought to Trinity by TA'ZIYEH- Popular Beliefs and Ritual ances in Iran. The Lovers' Wind will be shown at and is highly regarded by Riggio. He has Ghaffari, and is renowned as a great per- in Iran, A Comparative Inquiry. The Conference attenders will have a 5:00 p.m. on Saturday, Lion De Dieu at degrees in music from Columbia Uni- former of Persian music. He is a native conference has been co-sponsored by choice of one of four afternoon semi- 6:30 and 8:30. One of the two will be versity, the Amsterdam Conservatory of Iranian, recently arrived in the U.S. (he Hartford Seminary and will bring nars, all held from 1; 15-2:15. They in- shown Sunday at 4:00 p.m.. Music, the Institute of Sonology, Tehran Both concerts have limited seating nr\ MMII he hclrl irnlin VTull ConnPIRG Sponsors Earth Week '88s Bestow Magnolia Tree Legislation on toxic waste dumping is the hail storm that fate inflicted on Spring oneofConnPIRG'smajorcampaigns. A Weekend, Cruz was still able to get his minimum $1000 donation to the Senior -By Isobel Calvin- Class Scholarship Fund. This fund pro- -By Sean Dougherty- current Connecticut law calls for the pointacross. He made a plea forconsum- Special To The Tripod News Editor examination of toxic waste sights every ers to boycott grape consumption, not vides aid each year to a rising senior who five to ten years. Companies are pressur- including wines or raisins, and for vol- had not previously required financial All over the country this week , stu- ing the state government to increase the unteers and money to be sent to the Over the past few weeks, 36 seniors, assistance, but because of altered cir- dents were educated about a few of the cycle to every twenty years. UFWA. He also called for intensified led by John Lee and Lizze Hardman cumstances, would need it to complete enviormenta! problems that plague this A recenlConnPIRG letter writing efforts to test grapes for pesticide resi- have been soliciting their classmates for their final year. I world. USPirg sponsored a nationwide campaign turned out to be a major vic- due. the Senior Class Gift. The gift, which is Members ofthe committee are hoping i program entitled, Earthweek. Earthweek jory. Due to the massive postcard writ- "The pesticide sprayed on the grapes presented by the Gift Committee chair- to elicit the support of every member of J consisted of lectures, speeches and ing that the organization instigated, leg- dosen't effect the consumers but does men at Commencement, represents a the class in an all out effort to attain their movies that examined enviormental is- islators are looking over their proposals produce cancer in the workers on the long standing tradition at Trinity. goal of $5000. If you have already sues. Each state chapter that participated concerning the use and disposal of styro- vineyard," explains ConnPIRG member A number of ideas for a gift were pleged a gift but have not yet paid it, scheduled events throughout the week. foam. Kelson Ettienne Modeste, "the pesticide submitted, discussed and voted on by the please send your money to C.J. Menard c/o Development Office, or to Lizze Trinity's ConnPIRG enviormental During Earthweek ConnPIRG used produces a poisonous gas that gels rinsed Gift Research Committee. It was de- this same techinque to stop off-shore off before the consumer comes in con- cided that the gift will be a dual one. Part Hardman, Box 1728, or John Lee, Box committee tried to produce a schedule of 1785. If you would like to charge your events that centered on a few specific drilling and save the Florida Coast. tact with the fruit." of the money raised will be used to The week culminated in Saturday's purchase a Star Magnolia tree for the. gift, piease indicate VISA or MASTER- issues. Awareness tables aimed at get- Celebrating the Earth and letter writ- courtyard between the new dormitory CARD, the account number, the amount, ting the students involved in theirefforts celebration, "Earthday". This fiesta on ing are just a part the hard work that and the writing center. In addition, there and expiration date. to clean up toxic waste were set up in the main quad mixed music and infor- ConnPIRG does. The "Hunger Clean will be aplaque in frontof the tree stating The Committee would like to express front of Mather. mation. The main event of the day was a Up" helped to beautify Hartford and at that it was donated by the Class of 1988. speech given by Roberto De La Cruz the same time raise money for the needy. its thanks to the following members who "By making people aware of their have already contributed: consumption of toxic waste products, from the United farm Workers. He spoke In addition to these on campus programs, The second part of the gift will be a we can pressure the companies produc- on the National Grape Boycott and the ConnPIRGers also lobby at the capital mS the waste," explains a ConnPIRG dangers of pesticide contamination. and partake in internship programs to member. Despite the freezing tempertures and help pass important bills. William Robbins Liz Van Lanan Budget Tim Morin Kate Eklund Continued From Page 1 Sabrina Farrell Bruce Haptfuhrer add back into the Campaign. At the end Ruth Taylor Ya-Sheng Zhang Life On Other Planets of the Campaign we will take in every- thing that is given. The College should Leslie Chvatal Craig Easterbrook be a much stronger place when the Middlebury students felt that prospec- Jamil Pharon Peter Lang -By Patricia Canavan- Campaign ends," said Sauer. tive students were given a false im- The third way the budget benefits Whitney St. John Charles Amore News Staff Writer pression of Middlebury's minority from the Campaign is more indirect. The situation. Campaign must pay for itself, and part of Liz Craig Robert DesMarias Middlebury College: At Middlebury L the funds are used for that purpose. Also, °llege, a group of five students have Williams College: At Williams, an some programs initiated by the Cam- Ethan Brown Robert Lindgren met with three trustees to discuss CIA ad hoc committee created by the col- paign will be retained, to build on some Sharon Feldman Laura Anthony on-campus recruiting. The protest lege vice-president has addressed the of the foundations the Campaign has group Citizens for Increased Aware- issue of parking and transportation at laid. Kathleen Strauss Sarah Maloney ness which was represented by the the college. A taxi service will be The recent instability of the stock F. Enriquez Ramierez Michelle Boudreau students decided not to demonstrate established to provide transportation market has not had a devastating effect after this meeting, as they felt that their around campus. Also, transportation on the operating budget. By diversifying Willam Abbott janet Kapouch grievances about CIA recruiting were will be provided to and from regional its portfolio and keeping several busi- neard. The students have asked for off- centers such as Albany. There well ness managers tracking investments, Bill Howland Eve Perugini campus CIA recruilmcni because of also be a stricter enforcement of park- Trinity avoided ruinous loses. Kim Hall John Lee their alleged discrimination against ing regulations and freshmen will not "Trinity's market value dropped 15% Homosexuals. be allowed to keep cars on campus to in the October crash, but we're climbing Lorinda Russo Ms. Miyuki Kaneko '85 Also reported was the commence- lessen the parking problem on cam- back," said Sauer. Figures were not Michelle Allard Marlene Murphy ment of termination proceedings pus. available for the losses sustained in the against the Sigma Epsilon fraterninty recent 100-pointdropinthemarket. "The Wendy Hagberg Dixon Waxter w their violation of rush policies and Amherst College: An escort system immediate effect is minimal. The in- '"egal drugs use by some pledges and has been re-established by Amherst come figure is a calculation over a three Nancy Barry Elizabeth Breiner •fat members. A petition had been students John Blood '89 and John year history of the portfolio. Trinity Stewart Angers George Kohutiak signed which stated that there would be Magri '88. It will work in conjunction College has specified [to its business no drinking during rush, and three with Campus Security to insure stu- managers] they want limits. We were John Bradley Farina Achuck Brothers had allegedly made a pledge dent safely. Middlebury police usu- not hurt as badly as many other institu- DeDe DePatie Jefferry Baskies "rink and use marijuana. The three ally handle transportation. Blood and tions," according to Sauer. pothers were expelled by the frater- Magri feel that they can help in two "We have tried to moderate fee in- Emmy Douglas Cheryl Yasumura 'Hy and charges against the Sigma ways: in providing faster escorts; and creases while many worthwhile projects Laurie Stewart Michael Daly silon have been dropped. freeing the police up to protect the and programs competed for limited re- Policies for minority recruitment campus. In addition, the problem of sources. We feel this proposed budget Amy Selverstone The Brothers of »ave also been changed at Middlebury. inadequate lighting on campus is also reflects a careful review and balancing 1, m critism has encouraged the being remedied to increase student of institutional priorities...and should Kim McDermott St. Anthony Hall •cnool to abandon minority weekend. safety. enable Trinity to retain its favorable competitive position," he concluded. PAGE 4, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, APRIL 27,1988 News Chapel Refurbished-Totally Mod during the week. He also wants to re- Tina Dow of residential services re- -By Sean Dougherty- place the hand-carved wooden pews wi ih fused to be interviewed, .so we made up News Editor moveable plastic benches so that the some answers ourselves. Chapel could be used for parties on Fri- "We figure the main crypt chapel could day and Saturday nights. easily fitTour students," said Tina Dow, "We need another place to have par- Director of Residential Services, "with Trinity College has contracted the proper use of Chapel space we might be Dunn-Rite Construction Company to ties on campus. The damage that water leakage does to the dining hall would be able to use some of the lounges in the begin Summer renovations on Trinity's dorms for something other than tempo- Chapel. eliminated. The only people beiow the chapel floor are dead already and won't rary housing for the first time since "It's one of the oldest buildings on World War Two." campus," said Trinity President James F. care. Not only that, but on Saturday English Jr., "I can'! believe we lei ii go nights if you drink too much and pass Instrumental in getting the renova- so long." out, when you wake up Sunday morning tions approved was Vice President Tho- It is the feeling of English, as well as you won't have to drag yourself to church mas A. Smith. "He wouldn't let them admissions director Donald Dietrich, that because you'll be there already," Chan start construction until after he retired," the Chapel doesn't look modern enough continued. said Dow, "he said something about them to attract prospective students. "All we Lee Chin Feoul, CEO of Dunn Rite, 'turning a beautiful piece of architecture see are kids staring at the Chapel when was reached at work by the Tripod last into an eyesore, and even worse making a lot of noise right outside of his own they come here. It's like they can't week and has made details of ibe exterior 1 believe half the campus is dominated by renovations available. window. Obviously he doesn't see the something that nerdy," said tour guide "The entire exterior is going to be re- practical side of the rennovation, but Marissa Boyers. done in pink stucco. That will make it then again we have to consider his age." In addition, director of buildings and look 'mod.' We are also going to install Smith could be reached for comment grounds, Sui Chim Chan has been hop- an exteriorelevator so that everyone will but wouldn't say anything we can print. ing for a while to make better use of the be able to say they went up the outside of Funding for the rennovation will be space. the Chapel, without having to risk fall- taken out of the Campaign for Trinity. In "Most of the students only use the ing. All of the stained glass will be a major coup, Trinity was able to secure building once a week. Sure, some people replaced with more durable plexiglass materials free from Dunn-Rite, thus The Trinity Chapel heads for brighter, if not radiant days. ring bells, and other people climb the plates. I'd like to see one of those little cutting the cost of the rennovation al- outside of it, but what good is all that bastards from the neighborhood break most in half. "We had some pink stucco space if so few are going to use it six days one of those," said Feoul. left over from fixing little," said Feoul, a week?" asked Chan. The more controversial plan of con- "You'd be surprised how little demand Top Brass Gives Trin Chan's plan for the interior, approved verting the crypt chapel into temporary there is for it out there. Don't quote me by English, is to turn the North West housing for the incoming freshman class on this, but, we are awfully glad to get the Arch into a laundry room for student use has not yet been finalized. stuff out of our warehouse." Sports The Big Axe in the brawl on Vernon street earlier in Trinity Finally Gets A Rink-Sort Of -By Sean Dougherty- the semester has been student-athletes in News Editor high school. -By Oswald C. Cobblepotts the fact that the new rink will be built 6 their ability to stock enough alcohol to John Dunham, coach of the hockey and Solomon Grundy- time zones from Hartford. "Kingswood pacify an entire hockey team for an 8 team, had what observers called a "fit." Who Are These Guys? wasn't the best deal in the world, but it hour plane trip. "Normal people just In a surprising move, lame duck direc- "This is absurd. I can't win games with was only a ten minute drive," he com- don't drink as much as hockey players, tor of admissions Donald Dietrich has a bunch of English majors. I'll be laughed The Trinity Col lege Board of Trustees mented. and I don't even want to think about the announced that Trinity will no longer be out of the league," he was heard to say. announced last week that funds have "The main impetus for making the damage to an aircraft that a goalie with using athletic achievement on the high Don Miller, coach of the football been allocated for the immediate con- money available to build the rink was the cabin fever could cause." said airline school level as criteria for admission to team, commented, "If I'm going to have struction of an ice arena for the use of the sit-in staged by Trinity students and spokesman Maurie Delterman. the College. to get players here who can get in here on Trinity College Ice Hockey team. alumnae outside the last trustees meet- Captain Rob McCool's main concern "Let's face it, it never had anything to grades it's going to be a long year. I'm Those present at President James F. ing," said English. was the fact that Butch the bus driver has do with how well you do in classes. just glad I got my !OOth win already." English Jr. 's address were visibly ex- Trinity students pelted trustees enter- no pilot's license. "Not only would Butch That's why we're phasing out the SAT's. Stan Ogrodnick of the basketball team cited about the possibility of having their ing the building with pucks, while chant- have to find another job, but we never I feel it's our duty to be consistent," said was typically reserved. "My team can't beloved hockey team, ECAC Champi- ing "trustees suck," lose when he drives. How is he going to Dietrich. win a game anyway, so I suppose having ons for three consecutive years, begin Student organizer Liz Chaffin, '89, drive us to Rome?" Members of the Alpha Chi Rho frater- people who can pass courses and stay in play on Trinity's campus as early as the said of the decision, "Building the rink in A major donation toward the con- nity immediately planned to stage a _ the line-up wouldn't hurt." 1990 season. However, due to space Rome is a little different from what I had struction of the new rink was received protest. "This is obviously an attempt to "What change?" asked Robbie Shults considerations, the rink is to be built at in mind. Now I'll have to carry all that from the estate of the late Trinity hockey get at the fraternities, especially Crow. of the Baseball team. the Barbiari Center on Trinity's Rome equipment on and off the airplane every hero Barry "Meat Cleaver" MacSot, Where are we going to get recruits with- Other protests arose from Trinity stu- Campus. time we have a home game." whose record for career penalty minutes out high school athletes? Being a greek dents who had spent one semester on "We just didn't have enough space Assistant Coach Andre Lacroix, said was recently broken by Mike "Meat at this school is worse than being Jewish either junior varsity fencing or the golf left on the Hartford Campus after build- that "the plane ride not be so bad, you Head" Solomita. MacSot also set an in Beruit," said Matt Bergeron, spokes- team in high school to make themselves ing that all-purpose athletic facility on know, as you tink. When I play with unofficial record for most alcohol con- man for the fraternity. Plans to pelt the appear athletic. "I'm a jock too," pro- Vernon Street across from the Religion Whalers back in the 70's we fly almost as sumed during a period intermission. Admissions office with footballs and tested former Tripod editor Dave Department," said budget director, Alan far to Edmonton as to Rome." MacSot downed a half bottle of Jack hockey pucks were immediately drawn Copland,"Why won't anyone believe Sauer. Lacroix's geography may be a little Daniel's between periods of a Trinity- up. "We know all about protesting," said me?" Head hockey coach, John Dunham, off, but he did raise the issue of transpor- UConn game. "He had to do something Bergeron. "I'm not a jock. I've never pretended reacted to the announcement with mixed tation problems a home rink in a foreign to stay warm," his widow Felicia Ober- "I don't see why certain fraternities to be a jock, and I never will be a jock. emotions. "It's about time we got our country could cause. meyer MacSot recalled. have to be staffed with athletes, besides That doesn't mean I want to cover a priorities straight around this place," he • "We should be able to get some kind Wesleyan, Williams, and Amherst, there shouldn't be any change in existing baseball team that's going to go 7-13 said. "They wasted all that money on the of deal through Trans-Atlantic Airlines have all threatened to drop Trinity from conditions because of the change. As every season," said Assistant Sports women's center, and then built a math on the tickets," said Dunham, "the thing their varsity schedules if forced to fly long as the athletes applying to the school Editor Bill "Turk" Charest. building instead of a hockey rink. It's I'm really worried about is the effect the coach class to Rome twice a year. "Let can gain acceptance through grades and Sean Dougherty, Tripod hockey good to know our contribution to the airline food will have on our training them suffer." said Dunham, "In any other civil achievement then we should writer, voiced a similar complaint. school is being recognized." program." league some road trips will be longer have about the same people getting in," "We all know Loeber would have ended Dunham expressed some concern over Trans-Atlantics' main concern was than others." said Thomas A. Smith, who immedi- up at Conn with Moccia and Pecknold if ately came out in support of the change. he wasn't allowed to tell the school he Smith also cited statistics indicating was hockey player," said Dougherty, that recruiting students based on athletic "but I don't think it's fair to judge him EarthWeek's No Joke.,.Really achievement leads to doors being broken against people who study. This idea is ing the waste", explains a ConnPIRG information. The main event of the day down in Jarvis, vandalism to telephones, -By Sean Dougherty- definitely discrimination." member. was a speech given by Roberto De La and damage done to certain students. In The policy will go into effect with the News Editor One of ConnPIRG's major cam- Cruz from the United farm Workers. He addition, several of the people involved class of 1992. paigns is for legislation on toxic waste spoke on the National Grape Boycott AH over the country this week , dumping. A current Connecticut law calls and the dangers of pesticide contamina- students were educated in a few of the for the examination of toxic waste sights tion. environmental problems that plague this every five to ten years. Companies are "The pesticide sprayed on the grapes world. USPIRG sponsored a nationwide pressuring the state government to di- doesn't effect the consumers but does program entitled, Earthweek. It con- minish the cycle to every twenty years. produce cancer in the workers on the sisted of lectures, speeches and movies A recent major victory for vineyard", explains Kelson Ettienne that examined environmental issues. ConnPIRG came in the form of letter Modeste," the pesticide produces a poi- World coming to an Each state chapter that participated sched- writing. A massive postcard writing sonous gas that gets rinsed off before the uled events throughout the week. campaign thattheorganization instigated, consumer comes in contact with the Trinity's ConnPIRG environmental led to a major victory for ConnPIRG. fruit." V* JL i. v4 » 9 • (Save your beer) committee tried to produce a schedule of Legislators are looking over ConnPIRG Celebrating the Earth and letter events that centered on a few specific proposals concerning the use and dis- writing are just a part the hard work that issues. Awareness tables were set up in posal of styrofoam. ConnPIRG does. The "Hunger Clean front of Mather in an effort to get stu- During Earth Week ConnPIRG Up" helped to beautify Hartford and at dents involved in efforts to clean up turned its efforts toward stopping off- the same time raise money for the needy. See Sports toxic waste. shore drilling and save the Florida Coast. In addition to these on campus programs, "By making people aware of their Earth Week culminated in ConnPIRGers also lobby at the capital consumption of toxic waste products, Saturday'scelebration,"Earthday".This and partake in internship programs to we can pressure the companies produc- fiesta on the main quad mixed music and help pass important bills. ? We really don't care....get a lifc.please

•L r't, APRIL 27,1988, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, PAGE 5 World Outlook

Have you seen these men? We haven't.

w

(We're not sure just which one is Greg and which one is Sully) WANTED William Sullivan & Gregory Poitras "The Apple Dumpling Gang"

Crime: Impersonating World Outlook editors, neglecting theirTripod comrades, leaving us poor ovetworked editors to try to get an issue out without them.

Identifying Marks: Check the Registrar's Office.

Reward: $3.24 for these two alive or dead (we're not sure...they may be dead already) Help crack the crime! You too can join the Tripod's official "Maxwell Smart" Hall of Fame!!! If you sight them, please call 246-1829 and ask for "Rocko". PAGE 6, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, APRIL 27,1988 Arts John Rose Brilliant As "The Jewel Of Newark" Sonata!by AlexandreGuilment. It was -By Christopher Row afterthe first movement of this piece that and JoAnne Prarie- the audience could contain its enthusi- Spccial To The Tripod asm for his playing no longer. The crowd burst into spontaneous applause followed by a hearty standing ovation at "I want you to see the Jewel of New- the end of the work. Following Sonata I ark," said Virgil Fox, famous concert was Cesar Franck's expressiveFantasie organist at Riverside Church, New York in A, which aptly displayed Mr. Rose's City and mentor to Trinity College's sensitivity to the instrument and the organist, John Rose. The "Jewel" re- music. Mr. Rose concluded the first half ferred to by Fox is the resplendant of the performance with CM. Widor's cathedral of the Sacred Heart, which Laude Sion, from Suite Latine. After strikes the viewer with its grandeur and intermission, Mr. Rose performed Louis opulence, much like Notre Damede Paris. Vierne's Symphony III in its entirety, John Rose first beheld the structure in again captivating the listeners. The April, 1968, and was appointed organist concert ended with the crashing chords and choirmaster that summer. Now of Symphony Ill's Finale, which high- twenty years later, his splendid playing lighted the full magnificence of the main resounded once again through the vast organ in the rear of the gallery, and the cathedral during a benefit concert on the snarling blasts of the trompette-en-cha- 17'1' His performance underscored his nade above the high alter. The concert mastery of the French repertoire. The was a complete success and exhibited concert opened with the Carillon-Sortie Mr. Rose's expertise at "the king of by Henri Mulct and continued with insruments."

j eapport iad/vaiits,.., Trinity College's John Rose, master of the chapel's pipe organ. Trinity's Orchestra cJiaxtroxd Delights Audiences cult finger-work of the Allegro this piece -By Sandy Burke- was powerful arid intense. Perhaps the That Girl most exquisite section of this Concerto was the Adagio. It was heart-wrenching, romantic and emotional with Linda THEATRE This past weekend, Friday April 22nd- Laurent at her best. She played with a and Saturday April 23rd at 8:15 p.m. in certain passion and intensity which the Austin Arts Center, the Trinity Col- greatly enhanced the music and was well lege Orchestra as well as students from supported by the orchestra. I can not the Hartt School of Music gave a per- think of a more beautiful piece with April 25-Fighting Chance, by N.J. Crisp. Long formance of Beethoven's Eighth Sym- which Linda Laurent could have ended phony, Rachmaninoff s Piano Concerto her stay at Trinity. It is indeed a shame May 22 Wharf Theatre, NewHaven, C.T. The story No. 2, and the overture from Mozart's that such a talented performer could not The Magic Flute. Andre Froelicher, the be kept on the staff of the music depart- conductor of this concert, is the first ment. of neurological patients at a rehabilitation conductor to be hired from outside the The last piece of the evening, Music Department, and I must say it was Beethoven's Eighth Symphony, was well Center outside of London. For info, call worth the extra effort to get him here. done with perhaps a few minor com- Overall, the concert was a joy to listen plaints. The piece in and of itself, al- 787-1525. to. The effort put into this paid off for all though a wonderful piece, seemed to involved. The first piece played was the pale a bit in comparison to the Rach- Overture from The Magic Flute. Al- maninoff. Perhaps the fact that such a though at first the woodwinds seemed to passionate piece was played before the lag a bit, the piece was enjoyable and a Beethoven lessened the effect that it April 28-TA'ZIYEH Festival Production. The inter worthy precursor to the evening's would have had otherwise. highlight, Piano Concerto No. 2, by S. All in all, however, this performance May 1 national premiere of Moses and the Wander Rachmaninoff, featuring Linda Laurent was quite successful and the orchestra on piano in her last performance here at will be in good hands with Andre Froeli- Trinity College. cher as visiting conductor. I, along with ing Dervish contains the first performance of From the stormy beginning of the many others no doubt, look forward to Moderate, sharply accented by the deep, hearing more of the Trinity College Ta'ziyeh in English. The play will be pre rumbling notes of the piano, to the more Orchestra. Congratulations on a job well sented in the traditional manner: by torch romantic, flowing sections to the diffi- done! light, in a beautiful, quiet courtyard setting "April Showers bring Snarling Rutabegas" at the college. 9:00 p.m. in Funston Court (May 29th at Midnight only) For info, call 527-8062.

May 17- Tango Argentino. Coming to the Bushnell Theatre for only this week! Performances to be at 8:00 p.m., matinees on Saturday and Sunday at 2:00 p.m. For information call 246-6807. ;..-..-..-..-..-..-•.-•.••.-•.-•.••..-..•..-...... -..,,....•(.;;• f .,/-""•

*** unknown artist discovered APRIL 27,1988, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, PAGE 7 Arts Sports' Miller & Charest Named New Arts Critics World Comes To An End—See News this apparent lack of regard for The Arts, -By Sandy Burke- Bill and Matt say, "What's the big deal? Head Arts Cluck They know who they are. Why should people care who the hell [sic] they are after the fact or who was 'especially Matt Miller and Bill Charest have stunning in the role of ' Who gives a recently announced that they are giving shit [sic]!!!!! It will save space and the up their most honorable positions on the general public will get the message with- Tripod Sports Staff to become featured out all the bullshit [sic] in between. Thai's Arts critics. entertainment! They plan to critique a wide range of Mr. Miller and Mr. Charest went fur- Arts events including dance, theatre, ther to comment on plans for what they choral and orchestral performances. called a "merger" between the Features When asked how they would manage, and the Arts sections of the Trinity Tri- having had no prior experience as critics, pod. They plan to call this new phe- they replied, "We can do this shit. It's nomenon "Farts"[sic] and say "this way, not that hard- all you do is say, 'Bitchin' we'll have more room for the really performance!' or 'This sucked!' No important stuff " more words needed. People don't want tohearhow'enlightening'or'thoroughly Editors note: As Mr, Charest and Mr. enjoyable' things were. They want the Miller did not elaborate as to just what direct approach and we intend to give it this more important 'stuff1 was, I can to them." only come to the conclusion that they As for the possible protest's of the must have meant more News or World Gerald Moshell, Chairman of the Department of Music, after a rousing Concert Choir rehearsal. college's artistic community arising from Outlook.

And now, straight from the home office in Austin Arts Center, its... A NEW TOP TEN LIST TOP TEN ARTS STAFF'S LEAST FAVORITE CAMPUS EVENTS

(cue drum roll) 10. Sandy Burke singing Black Boys

9-Tory Clawson singing Nepalese folk songs wearing breast plates

8. Matt's and Bill's rendition of Def Leppard's Pour Sugar On Me

7. Rick Ewing singing in the shower

6. Cave Dances

5. Performance Art with Dolby Surround™ Sound

4. Nusha Martynuk and Carter McAdams performing their Modern Interpretation of Swan Lake

3. Poetry Readings

2. Gerald Moshell singing Over There

And the number one "Least Favorite Arts Event" is: 1. Trinity College Concert Choir singing Baptist spirituals (cue Prancing Fluids, ThrillCam™, thunderous yet cheap applause, etc.) PAGE 8, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, APRIL 27,1988 Bloom County

Eyebrow

Head Penguin Lust

Look of Figure 1. Bemusement Nose

Bow Tie

Flipper

Paunch

Other Flipper

Feet APRIL 27,1988, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, PAGE 9 Announcements

EXHIBITS Saturdays in the Watkinson Library. Free sion. "Vox Angeli: The Musical Deployment admission. of English Cathedrals," a lecture by The Alumni Office has a Summer Job The Second Annual Exhibition of Stu- Floyd Higgins, organist at St. Joseph PamelaTudor-Craig (also known as Lady Opening for a student to input alumni dent Works will be held through Apr. 29 "Puritan Fathers to Modern Dads: The Cathedral, Hartford, and 1985 Trinity Wedgwood) will be held on May 2 at information into the computer and to from 8 am to 10 pm in Mather Hall Art Changing Role of the American Father," graduate, will perform a lunchtime con- 4:30 pm in Room 320,Austin Arts Center. help with other general office work as Space. Free admission. will be held starting Jun. 1 through Sep. cert on May 12 at 12:15 pm in the Chapel. Free admission. assigned. Please contact Lucy Myshrall, 30 while the College is in session a! Free admission. Ext. 215, if you are interested or for more Susan Brady, a senior studio arts major 8:30-4:30, Monday through Friday; 9:30- "Aristotle, Marx and Greek Democracy," information. from Norwood, Mass., will exhibit her 4:30, Saturdays in the Watkinson Li- THEATRE a lecture by Professor G.E.M. de Ste. artwork May 2 through May 7 from 1-5 brary. Croix, New College, Oxford and GENERAL ; pm daily in Garmany Hall, Austin Arts Free admission. "Moses and the Wandering Dervish," a Townsend Lecturer 1988, Cornell Uni- Center. Free admission. premiere performance in English of a versity, will be held on May 5 at 4:30 pm The Trinity Coliege Tae Kwon Do C!ub j POETRY Persian passion play will be held on May in the Rittenberg Lounge, Mather Hall. has instructional workouts scheduled for j The annual studio arts program exhibi- 1 at 9 pm in the Funston Court near the Free admission. S pm on Tuesday and Thursday nights, j tion will be held through May 23 from 1 Sal Basile, a graduate student at Trinity, Library. Admission: S6. Limited seat- The workouts will be held in the Wres- to 5 pm daily in the Widener Gallery, will hold a poetry reading on May 13 at ing. For reservations call the box office: JOBS tling Room of Ferris Athletic Center. Austin Arts Center. 8 pm in the Faculty Club, Hamlin Hall. 527-8062. Anyone who might be interested is wel- Free admission. The Foreign and Domestic Teacher come to check it out. Dress in sweats. For "Notable Gifts to the Watkinson Library: LECTURES Organization needs teacher applicants in more information call 249-0865 and ask 1977-1987," will be held through May MUSIC all fields from kindergarten, through for Scott. 31, in the Trumbull Room of the Watkin- "The Legal Implications of Perfect Sys- college to fill over six hundred teaching son Library from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm, A Concert by the Trinity Guild of Caril- tems," a lecture by Susan H. Nycum, vacancies both at home and abroad. For The Glastonbury Parks and Recreation Monday- Friday: 9:30 am to 4:30 pm, lontieurs will be held on May 1 at 2 pm J.D., atiorney with Bakerand McKenzie more information write to The National Department is hosting a Spring Fever Saturdays. in the Chapel. Free admission. law firm of Palo Alto, Calif., will be held Teacher's Placement Agency, Universal Run on May 1 at 12 noon. The run is 4,75 on Apr. 27 at 7:30 pm in Boyer Audito- Teachers, Box 5231, Portland, Oregon miles over varied terrain. The start is at Jane Leonard, a senior from Wethers field, The Trinity College Concert Choir's rium. Free admission. 97208. Hopewell Elementary School, Chestnut Conn., will have a senior thesis exhibi- spring concert will be held on May 6 at Hill Rd., Glastonbury, CT.. The fee is $2 tion of her artwork through Jun. 12 from 8:15 pm in the Goodwin Theatre, Austin "The South Looks North: A Review and Tutors in English, Mathematics and by Apr. 27 and $4 after Apr. 27 and day- 8 am to 10 pm in the Mather Hall Art Arts Center. General admission: $4; Analysis of Irish Public Opinion Toward Science are needed for the Connecticut of-race. For more information call 659- Space. students and senior citizens: $2. Box Belfast and London," a lecture by Dr. Pre-Engineering (CPEP) Summer Pro- 2711, ext. 317. office: 527-8062. Thomas Garvin, University College, gram during the period Jun. 27 - Jul. 29, "Birds of the Pacific Coast: The Art of Dublin, will be held on Apr. 28 at 4 pm Monday - Friday, 8:30 am - 2:30 pm at The Trinity College Undergraduate Sci- Andrew Jackson Gray son (1818-1869)," Trinity vocal students will perform ex- in the Faculty Club, Hamlin Hall. There Trinity College. The salary is $1,250. If ence Symposium will be held on May 9 will be held through Sep. 30 while the cerpts from Mozart's opera "Cosi Fan will be a reception following the lecture. interested, call: Naomi Amos, Director at 9:30 to 11:30 am in the Ray Oosting College is in session at 8:30-4:30, Tutti" on May 8 at 8 pm in Garmany Free admission. of Faculty Grants, ext. 388, or her assis- Gymnasium, Ferris Athletic Center. Monday through Friday; 9:30-4:30, Hall, Austin Arts Center, Free admis- tant, Nina Lynch, ext. 558. Refreshments will be available. Free. Tripod Staff Elections

Thursday, April 28th Tripod Office in the Jackson Basement 8:00 PM Editor-in-Chief Sports Editor Managing World Outlook News Editor Business Editor Arts Editor Advertising Manager Features Editor Announcements Photography Editor Letters

All Staff members and writers are eligible to vote! PAGE 10, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, APRIL 27,1988 Features Spring Weekend: This Year The Magic Faded Away elry should depend on the weather. The Derby, though I'm of the opinion that of roasted chestnuts and hot pretzels minute threat of rain. My parents had to quirky little traditions should be pre- from New York streetcorners. hold a sort of lottery to determine which -By Wendy Rawlings- great thing about Spring Weekend is being outdoors, but who actually has a served. Friends have tried to convince The more creative drinkers might take of my relatives, some of whom had Features Editor good time sitting outside all day in forty me that the all-campus Pong Tourney advantage of the unseasonably cold trekked in from as far away as Florida, degree weather and high winds? will be a fine substitute, but I just don't temperatures to swig from flasks of would use the two alloted graduation By the time this article appears in Most Spring Weekends bring com- think that watching people tap a little brandy, although I'm sure most people tickets. After much debate, it was de- print, Spring Weekend will have come plaints about how rotten the bands are; ball back and forth across a table is as will stick to beer (at least it'll be cold cided that my grandmothers would watch and gone. Yet right now it is the eve of someone always starts a rumor a month exciting as witnessing the aerodynami- beer, right?). Perhaps I'm being overly me march down the aisle to receive my my last Spring Weekend at Trinity as an beforehand that Squeeze or U2 is com- cally built soapboxes of past years go pessimistic in predicting a Spring Week- diploma. undergraduate. Outside the wind is ing back, and people are half-willing to crashing into bales of hay at the foot of end that might seem more like a Winter As it turned out, there was no "aisle"; whistling, and last weekend's weather believe it until TCAC officially an- Vernon Street. But as I said, I can accept Carnival sans ice sculptures, but I've we had to squeeze through a tightly- brought gusts of snow, so I am having nounces the performers. I'm usually a Spring Weekend without a derby or a always found it helpful to expect the packed crowd to accept our diplomas visions of the entire Trinity population among the deluded people who believe band that I've heard of, if only the weather worst and hope for the best. I'm not even from our principal's sweaty hand. Then huddling on theLife Sciences Quad while that one of America's most popular bands holds out. hoping for blue skies and a good tanning my 234 classmates and myself had to fit bands try to play above the wind and is going to make a stop in Hartford be- The only absolutely necessary ingre- index; overcast skies and temperatures onto a stage which I doubt was ever keep their instruments from blowing tween gigs at Madison Square Garden dient for a successful Spring Weekend is in the sixties would be perfectly accept- occupied by more than fifty people. My away. TCAC planned a rain location for and the Astrodome to play Trinity Col- reasonable weather. The way things are able. poor grandmothers nearly hyperventi- the concert, though, so I suppose that can lege. looking right now, though, I'd advise the The unpredictable weather this April lated, and most of us thought we were serve as a blizzard location as well. This year, though, Tony Orlando and Ben & Jerry's ice-cream vendors that gives me cause for worry about Gradu- going to suffocate beneath our heavy I know I lend to harp on the weather, Dawn could be the featured band, for all TCAC is hoping to bring to campus for ation Day. I can't help but recall my high robes. but somehow it seems unfair that one's I care. I'm not even all that upset about this Sunday's festivities to stay where school graduation, which was moved And you know the irony of it all? It last moments of college hijinx and rev- the cancellation of the annual Soapbox they are. Better to import a few vendors indoors to the auditorium after a last- didn't even rain. On The Long Walk (The column that always asks those burning questions of life to Trinity students not ready for life)

What are those mounds of sand down on the women's soccer field? End of the world coming...See Arts By Dianne Manning & Laura MacDonald, '88 Laurie Carlson It's the sand they're going to use to Charles Crissman, '91 spread all ov er the quad and make Dunes to enliven it into one huge beach. Photos by Tom Chapman the landscape.

Matt Cressoth, '91 Jim Murphy, '90 Bayard Johnson, '88 Andrew Hereford, '89 It's for the next SAGA theme They're for simulating sex on night. Turf acne or Remnants from a the beach. Big Bird's droppings. lost civilization.

Ann Newman, '91 Julie Holt, '90 It's the new sandbox for the The beginnings of a beach for Kim Horstman, '88 Doug Lloyd, '89 day-care center. Trinity. [Editor's note: An obstacle course. That's easy. Everyone knows Trinity s already a beach] they bury the Elmo pledges there. Government Homes from $1.00. "U-Repair". Also tax-deliquent property Call 805-644-9533 AIESEC - Trinity Presents Ext. 808 for Info. FRIDAY AFTERNOON Storage for the Summer Don't lug it all home; store it HAPPY HOUR with us. Low monthly rates, various sizes for rugs, couches, April 29, 4-8 P.M. chairs, refridgerators, TV's, lamps, winter clothes. Two locations to serve you. Whetherfield (721-9663) and In the Washington West Hartford (525-2011). $5 off with college ID. Room with live disc jockey. Only $2!!

SUMMER Alt. Bev. ID. Required SESSIONS

Biochemistry, Classes begin Biology, June 6, 1988 Chemistry, For information/ Computer Science, applications: GRADUATING? Human Division of Development, Special Studies After graduation, you will no longer be eligible to purchase a Macintosh or a Laser Mathematics, BRYN MAWR French, COLLEGE writer SC at Educational Discount Rates! Physics, Bryn Mcrwr, PA Russian, 19010 Spanish (215) 645-6198 If you are considering purchasing a Macintosh, come to the Academic Computing Cen ter BEFORE you graduate. You can learn how a Macintosh can help you down the home stretch, and how the new LaserWriter II SC can make your final papers look professionally printed! Come into the Academic Computing Center and learn more about the entire line of Apple Computer RESEARCH OPPORTUNITIES

Tufts' Boston Campus is comprised of the Medical School, Dental and Veterinary Schools, the Sackler School of Biomedical Sciences, and the U.S.D.A. Human Nutrition Research Center. We have an ongoing need for science graduates in a variety of exciting medical science research areas. Tufts offers an excellent salary and benefits package in-' eluding tuition assistance. All interested candidates should call, send a resume or complete the Following mini- application and forward to Tufts University Personnel, 200 Harrison Ave., Boston, MA 02111. ( 617) TOFTS 956-6600. An Affirmative Ac- UNIVERSITY tion/Equal Opportunity Employer. BOSIQN Mliiitoslill Name. Trinity College Address Academic Computing Center Phone (Home) _ Hallden Engineering Phone (College). College Major. Date Available for Employment

t ' vf PAGE 12, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, APRIL 27,1988 Sports Men's Track Sprints Toward NESCAC Showdown

places respectively. Trinity runners also squads and keeping its conference rec- to be given to Moore who continued to and a third in the 400 intermediates. -By Aaron Sobel- won the 800 and 1500 with co-captain ord unblemished. The Bants did this, compete with a pulled groin. Also, Donahue was right behind The meet concluded with Trinity's Gemmell in the 800 to take second place. Sports Staff Writer Craig Gemmell '88 winning the 8 in once again, by performing consistently 2:00.9 and co-captain Matt Donahue on the track and on the field. mile relay team of Alderson, Luciano, In the long distance race of the day -the taking kudos in the 15 with a time of The 440yd. relay team of Rod Moore Burdick, and Donahue taking second. 5000- Dickerson turned in a superb per- 4:08.4. Pete Ostrander '89, the Bant's '88, Issac, Conklin, and Alderson started And then, the meet was over with Trinity formance to take first with a time of Since returning from Florida this past off the day by eking out a win over beating both Williams and Conn College 15:14.8. His time qualifies him for the Spring Vacation, the men's [rack team hurdle specialist, took second in the 120 yard high hurdles with a time of 16.1 Williams in 45.6. Alderson then pro- by over 50 points. New England Division 3's. Finally, the appears to be headed on a mission and is ceded to extend Trinity's margin of vic- The final meet of the season was billed 4X100 relay team of Moore, Issac, determined to let no one get in its way. with Bob Wing '91 following in third. Ostrander came back, though, with a tory by taking the 100 in a quick 11.3. as being THE MEET of the season for Conklin, and Alderson took second to That mission is to capture the NESCAC Issac took command, once again, in the the men's tracksters. On this particular extend its individual undefeated NES- title which has been eluding the team strong win in the 440yd. intermediates 200 and the 400 by winning the 2 in 23.0 Saturday, the Bants found themselves at CAC record. Additionally, the 4X400 since 1984. Well, except for two mon- with a clocking of 55.4. Rich DiPreta and the 4 in 50.3. Issac has more than the quality facility of the Engineers of relay team of Moore, Donahue, Ostran- key wrenches in the form of Westfield St. '91 and Wing followed him in to com- proven that he will be a force at not only WPI. This meet promised to be a tough der, and Issac burned up the track in and WPI, the team is heading on an plete a Trinity sweep in the intermedi- ates. The 5000 found Chris Dickerson the NESCAC's but the New England's one because it featured Coast Guard (who 3:26.5 to take first. unstoppablecourse forthattitle. Through as well. In the 800 and 1500, Donahue the end of the regular season the team's '89 and "kid helmut" Gemmell coming was still smarting from the loss to the Turning to the field, Wells placed across the finish line together in a lime of and Gemmell reverted back to their tra- Bants 2 weeks ago), WPI (who always second and third in the shot and discus, record now stands at 8-2 overall and 6-0 ditional roles with Donahue owning the in the NESCAC. How exactly did the 15:53.2 to defeat anything Wesleyan has a strong team), and Tufts University. while Logan sailed over the high jump might have to offer. Finally, in the relays 800 in 1:59.5 and Gemmell possessing Competing against Tufts was of special bar at 6'4" to take second. This rounded team reach this point? The quick answer the 1500 in 4:05.9. Dickerson followed might be to say outstanding perform- Trinity dominated as well by winning significance because the Bants had to out the Trinity scoring. the 440yd. relay in 44.6 and the mile Gemmell in the 1500 in a time of 4:08.1. beat Tufts in order to be in strong conten- As the men's team heads into the NES- ances and luck. Yet, these haven't been Dickerson then took the track for his the sole factors. While it's true that the relay in 3:34.8. tion for the NESCAC title. With the CAC championship next Saturday, a few natural event, the 5000, which he won in talent of the teams competing in this things have to be mentioned. At the team has its share of stars that turn in The field events also yielded good re- 15:48.2. That race also found Mike meet, the competition was sure to be conclusion of the season, Trinity stands consistently excellent performances, it's sults for the men. In the weight events, Joyce '90 in third with a long distance close. As a matter of fact, Head Coach undefeated in the conference. There- also true that the team has its share of Trinity won everything except for the clocking of 16:52.5. The hurdles offered Jim Foster predicted that 60 points (a fore, it would have to be, in this writer's runners who go out and reach down to shot where J.B. Wells '91 took third. no surprises with Ostrander winning the bring out their best performances. Thus, Wells made up for that third by taking a low score) could win the meet. His opinion, one of the three favorites to win 120 highs in 15.5 and the 440 intermedi- the NESCAC title. The other two teams it's overall dedication and effort by first in the discus with a huge, hurculean ates in 59.3. Wing took fourth in the 120 prediction wasn't that far off, but unfor- EVERY team member coupled with heave of 127']" (sorry IB.). John tunately it was WPI and not Trinity who that are in contention are Tufts and Bates. highs while DiPreta produced a second Bates looks good on paper but so did superior performances and, yes, a little Haviland, who's having a fantastic final place finish in the 440 intermediates. came out on top. Yet, this writer feels bit of luck that have put the Bantams in season, threw the hammer 137'4" for that Trinity's second place finish is very Tufts before Trinity defeated them. For possession of an undefeated NESCAC first place. In the javelin, Jeff Buzzi '90 This time Trinity men won all of the worthy of praise for two reasons. First, Trinity to win Saturday, the team is going to have to take advantage of every op- record. But to every present there is a continued his stellar season by chucking weight events paced by Wells' double the weather was terrible once again portunity - bad weather or not. Also, past, and in the case of the men's team the spear 1 "78'11" to grab first. His win in the discus (132'7") and the shot which, 1 ike it or not, can adversely affect there is the unpredictability factor. let's look at the past that has lead to this throw was complemented by Rob (42' 1") and his third place finish in the performances. Second, the Bantams beat record. Conklin's third place heave. hammer. Haviland also continued to Everybody on the team has been putting Tufts who, on paper, figured to be veiy in excellent effort and dedication in the On Wednesday April 13, the Bants Finally, Trinity probably did some of its perform excellently in the hammer by good. This win over Tufts means Trinity best damage to Wesleyan in the jumping besting his nearest competitor by twenty last two weeks. However, there have travelled to the imitation-gravel track of is still undefeated in the NESCAC and is been a lot of high quality performances Wesleyan Univeristy for their annual events. A Trinity sweep in the long jump feet with a throw of 132'7". Haviland now a definite favorie to win the NES- was paced by Wing's I8'7" leap with also joined Weils' performance in the recently which could translate to aces in grudge dual-meet classic. The results, CAC title. the hole for Trinity at the NESCAC's. forthe Bants, werevery.impressive. The Aaron Sobel '90 and Steve Redgate '91 shot by turning in a fine fourth place The key to the Bants' success at WPI following closely in second and third. placing. Tom Blonski '90 also left his Specifically: Stuart Dye '89, Patrick final score was Trinity 98 and Wesleyan was due to the supremacy of team in the Bayliss '91, and Derek Chang '91 have 56, and the meet was a showcase for The triple jump almost resulted in an- mark in the discus by taking a fourth running events. Overall, Trinity took 6 otherTrinity sweep with Wing and Sobel been looking very strong in the sprints, overall domination by the men on the place. The javelin ended in a 1 -2 Trinity out of 11 first places as well as 3 second taking second and third. The high jump Wing and DiPreta are looking sharp in both the track and the field. In several finish of Buzzi (173'4") and Conklin. places. The double winner for the men was also almost swept by Trinity with the hurdles, Redgate is starting to come events, the Bants either swept the event The jumping events featured some was Gemmell who won the 800 in 1:58.69 Buzzi and Redgate placing second and into his own in the pole vault, Mike or held a majority of the places. fine performances under ridiculous and the 1500 in 4:04.43. Gemmell ran Fagan '90 ran a PR in the steeplechase at third. Finally, in the pole vault Rich weather condition (ie. snow, sun, and Starting with the sprints, Russ Alder- Skubish '88 found his mark when he his 1500 win streak to 4-0 and demon- WPI, Steve Anderson '90 and Bruce •son '88 was just edged out by New rain in the same day). Skubish continued strated that he's starting to tone down for Corbett '90 have lowered their times in took first place at I2'6". His efforts his consistency in the pole vault by tak- England Division 3 qualifier Davis were followed by ihe third place vault of the slew of post-season competition that the 800 and the 1500 respectively, Joyce Be/grave of Wesleyan for the win. His ing first with a heightof 12 '6". The high he will face before the Nationals in May. has shown that he can turn on the wheels Mike Williams '88. Overall, it was a jump was undoubtedly a highlight of the time of 11.7 on the slow cinder track, good day for the Bants. Following this principle of toning down, in the 5000, and Wing and Sobel have however, put him solidly in second. In day when freshman sensation George Issac completely burned the field in the been steadily raising their season bests the 200, Scott Issac '89 returned the The men then took their undefeated Logan tied the ten-year old school rec- 400 to win in 50.02. He also took second in the long and triple jumps. favor to Belgrave by edging him out for NESCAC record home forameet against ord with a winningheight of 6'7". Logan in a very (and I mean very) close race in the win in 23.0. Issac also led a 1-2-3 Williams and Conn College on Saturday also won the triple jump on his final the 200 only to be quickly followed by Jesse Owens once said that every Trinity sweep in the 400 in a meet record April, 16. The Bantams continued their attempt in the finals with a leap of 40' 10". Moore in fourth place. Ostrander con- athlete has at least one great effort in 50.5. Tony Luciano '88 and Ross Bur- domination of Williams and handed Conn Finally, Moore and Logan took third and tinued to barrel his way over the hurdles him. Who knows what can happen, dick '88 followed Issac in 2nd and 3rd College a solid loss by beating both fourth in the long jump. Much credit has by taking first in the 110 highs in 16 flat we'll find out Saturday... Strong Women's Track Prepares For Williams Meet -By Aaron Sobel- ran an exceptional 3000m taking first in long jump (4.95) while Taffuri took in the triple jump respectively. Saturday ond in the discus (94'). Barry also threw 11:07. fourth (31.10) in the triple jump. The her personal best in the hammer at 86. Sports Staff Writer was the perfect day for the field events as Small in size but great in strength, the field events were led by co-captain records were broken and personal bests Lindsay is quickly closing in on the women vied well in the weight events. Sonnone taking third in the hammer and achieved by all competitors. Heading school record with a personal best and Trinity's women's track team once Senior co-captain Karen Sonnone took fourth in the discus. VanCampen heaved the list of personal bests was Sonnone's third place toss (92T) in the javelin. again, with wings on their feet, blew past first in the hammer throw (101 '8") set- 29' 10" on the shot put giving her a sec- first place toss of 113*7" in the hammer Trinity Bantam's with legs like the wind, rival Wesleyan on Wednesday, Apr. 4. ting a new school record and qualifying ond place finish. VanCampen also took throw. This throw set a new school rec- swept both the 4x100m and 4x400m Though Wesleyan had the home track her for the ECAC competition. She was third (92.8) in the discus. The freshman ord and put her within 5 inches of quali- relay with times of 54.3 and 5:00.6. advantage.the lady Bants pulled ahead strongly supported by a third place show- power team of Lindsay and Barry took fying for New England Division I com- Saturday, Apr. 29, the Trinity track- with a 78-66 win against the Cardinals. ing by freshman Pam Barry with a throw first (89.6) and fourth (85.7) place re- petition. Sonnone also capped of an sters will travel to Williams for one ot The day was bright and the bantams of73'4.5". The discus throw was clearly spectively in the javelin throw. excellent day by throwing 91 '6" in the the most intense meets of the year, were ready for a victory. dominated by the Bants as sophomore Trinity made a remarkable sweep in discus to take third place. VanCampen NESCAC's. Here the Bantams will Freshman Jen Moran placed third in Jen VanCampen and co-captain Son- both the 4x100m and 4x400m relays had an outstanding day shot put with a compete with the top schools in our the high jumps with a height of 4'4". none took first and second respectively taking a solid first in both. personal best put of 30'7" giving her a division. With our track record behind Meanwhile, the 4x 100 relay team, com- with throws of 95' 1.5" and 93'6.5". Despite an onset of injury sweeping second place finish. She also took sec- us, we stand to be invincible! prised of senior Alex Michos, senior co- VanCampen also took second in the shot the women's team, they were able to captain Lucia DowJuniorPatriciaTaffuri (8.92) while co-captain Dow grabbed overcome beating Worcester Polytech- and junior Kay McGowan, was busy third (7.73). Freshman Chris Lindsay nic Institute (79-66) at home on Satur- burning up the track, taking first place placed arespectable second with an 88'4" day, Apr. 23. As the rest of the campus with a time of 53,2 and setting a new in the javelin throw. was getting spring weekend underway, meet record. Senior Jen Elwell and sopho- Despite snow flurries and tempera- the lady Bants were busy tearing up the more Anne Stewart took first and second tures in the low 30's, the lady Bants track. respectively in the 1500m. combated Williams and Connecticut In the 100m, McGowan took an easy Michos easily took first with a stellar College at home on Saturday, Apr. 16. first (13.7) while Comstock took a re- performance in the 100m hurdles, The women were able to fend of Conn. spectable third (14.2). The 220 yd. was strongly supported by a third place finish (55-50) but were beaten by arch-rival swept by the Bantams McGowan, Taffuri by junior Eileen Neilan. Michos and Williams (75-55). and Comstock taking first (27.8), second Neilan also took second and third place Trinity was strongly represented in (27.9) and third (29.1) respectively. respectively inthe 400m hurdles. Taffuri the sprints as Griffith took first (13.5) Taffuri ran her seasonsbesttime of 1:00.4 grabbed second in the 400m and first in followed by McGowan and co-captain in the 400m giving her a first place the triple jump (10.13) followed by Dow in third (13.7) and fourth place finish. Lindsay took third with a time of Michos with a third place jump of 9.29. (13.7) respectively in the 100m dash. 1:10.6. Pyun and sophomore Brooke McGowan, with an outstanding jump of Taffuri and Griffith finished a strong Raymond took first and second respec- 4.67 set a new meet record in the long second (27.5) and third place (27.7) re- tively in the 800m. jump. Elwell, with a jump of 3.87 took a spectively. Taffuri, with winged feet, Wehrli, who is coming back from an strong third. took a second in the 400m with a time of injury, is recovering nicely as noted by Faster than a speeding bullet, co-cap- 1:02.5. Pyun took a fourth in the 800m her stellar performance in both the 1500m tain Dow took a second place in the while in the 1500m, she flew into third and 3000m. Not only did she take first in 100m dash closely followed by senior with a 5:04.2 followedclosely by Wehrli both events but she ran her best outdoor Leisl Griffith in third place with respec- in fourth with a time of 5:04.5. Wehrli time in the 3000m (10:46.6). Pyun ran a tive times of 13.7 and 13.8, also took second (11:17.6) in the 3000m strong second in the 1500m while Elwell Leading the pack was senior Shana followed by a strong fourth place finish took second in the 3000m running her Pyun with a winning time of 2:34.9 in the (11:26.7) by Elwell. best outdoor time ever (11:14.4). 800m. McGowan and Comstock both Record holder Michos took a second McGowan took first in the long jump had a fine showing of second and third place (15.9) in the 120m hurdles. Record (4.65) while Taffuri and freshman Tara places in the 200m. Junior Gail Wehrli holder McGowan took second in the Lawson took first (9.57) and third (8 44) APRIL 27,1988, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, PAGE 13 Sports Scandal Rocks Trinity Crewbics -By Joe Shlabotnick- impossible to partake of such an activity Gri'on (!rass in an area with such high level security surveillance." In the latest of shocking nationwide Representing Trinity's Coaching Staff collegiate drug-related incidents. Trin- at the Press Conference, freshman men's ity College's Varsity Crew program has coach Tom MacClarence stated, "The been suspended hy the National Colle- drug ring was apparently carried out giate Athletic Association from any form directly underournoses.yaknow. There of competition ororgani/.ed activity until was no evidence whatsoever that either the year 1990. the men or women were up to such A jaw-dropping press report, released things, eh." last Friday by the NCAA, cited several MacClarence added that he had been accounts of corruption within nation- misled to think that his boats had been wide rowing circles and singled out struggling due to their scrawny physical Trinity's oarsmen as being extraneously stature and poor conditioning, when in contemptuous. fact it had been due to the cocaine de- Two Trinity crewbies, caught playing in the "snowstorm" that rocked their team. Morris P. Drabowski, Chairman of pendency of half his crew. Freshman the NCAA committee on drug abuse by Women's coach, Meg Piccotte, merely American athletes was quoted as saying, seconded MacClarence \s comments. Lakers Look To Repeat In '88 "the NCAA deeply regrets the necessity According to the reports, Trinity of suspending a prograni with the pres- rowers carried out the drug ring under -By Jack Nicholson- The inconsistent, tentative performances and 400 wins in his coaching career tige and tradition of Trinity College's," the guise of a unanimous "team policy" The Devil Of Eastwivk seem to have gone by the wayside for faster than any other coach. Riley holds but the chairman explained that "in re- of no alcoholic consumption whatso- Scott, as he has established himself as records for highest regular-season win- cent years members of the Trinity or- ever. They fabricated a reputation of The Los Angeles Lakers basketball one of the NBA's premier shooting ning percentage, playoff winning per- ganization have shown no regard what- being very dedicated and serious rowers. team has been a marvel to watch this sea- guards. centage, and is one of a select few to soever for Nationally established drug While other students headed out for son. It has become obvious to this fan James Worthy. This man is the defini- coach three world championship teams. and alcohol regulations." fraternity parties on weekend evenings that they are the best team in the NBA, tion of "showtime". His patented toma- After L.A.'s playoff loss to Houston in According to Drabowski's report, the rowers, claiming it was "time for and quite possibly the best team of all hawk dunk is only one of the assets 1986, Riley made the appropriate moves, Trinity Co-ed rowers have been running bed" and that they "had to get up early," time. Worthy uses to wear down opponents. picking up Thompson, de-emphasizing an underground alcohol and drug ped- would slip into the dark areas of Magic Johnson. The name itself He is an exceptional one-on-one player, Kareem, while giving Magic more op- dling operation for approximately three Hartford's Broad Street and traffic ille- breathes "winner". He won in all in '79 and has an incredibly quick first step that portunities to score. As a result, Magic calendar years. Also noted in the gal drugs of several varieties. at Michigan St., and has helped the Lakers allows him to blow by most mortal de- won the MVP award, and the Lakers Chairman's report were several incidents Chief suspects in the sex-for-drugs to reach all but two NBA finals in the fenders before they knew what happened. regained the title. To not consider Riley of sex-for-alcohol orgies that suppos- scandal were arrested at 9 p.m. Friday on 1980's. His repertoire is unbelieveable: Worthy, while not a great rebounder, has to be the best coach in the NBA is simply edly have taken place even during the several counts of possession of illegal no-look passes, behind the back feeds the ability to work well in the paint, and ludicrous. Spring rowing season. narcotics, illegal sexual activity, and while driving to the hoop, a solid jumper, sinks some shots that leave the opposi- The Lakers got off to a 49-10 start this In a dazed stupor, Trinity's Women's several unrelated counts of lewd and a deft running hook, and a court sense tion baffled. year, one of the best marks ever for that varsity coach Static Apfelbaum could obscene behavior. that is utterly beyond compare. His nick- A.C. Green/Kurt Rambis. With Jab- late in the season. Then injuries took not pull herself together enough to Contact was made with former Men's name is more than fitting. bar never having been much of a reboun- their toll. Magic injured a groin muscle, comment. As the women's coach at- varsity captain Art Muldoon (formerly Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Here's a guy der, these two are the designated reboun- while Michael Cooper hurt his knee. The tempted to revive Men's head coach, President of Trinity's Student Govern- that could very easily retire now, and ders. Green is faster and is more of an Lakers have only gone 11-10 since those Bert Apfelbaum, she stuttered something ment) early Saturday. Muldoon refused have a place (maybe an entire wing) offensive threat, so he usually gets the injuries took place. But let's examine the to the effect of, "but they seem like such to comment on the guilt of his fellow saved for him in the Hall Of Fame. He is starting nod, but if he slumps in the facts closely. At the time of the injuries, nice kids?" rowers but claimed that he "knew noth- the all-time leader in points, winner of playoffs, Rambis will fill in. These two the Lakers held a 10-game lead in their Following the NCAA's announce- ing of the illegal actions or the Swiss six MVP awards, and holds an endless players defy the suggestion that the division, and a 7-game lead over Boston ment, Bert Apfelbaum was rushed to bank accounts that money was funnelled list of regular-season and playoff rec- Lakers are a non-physical, finesse team for the best record in the league. The Hartford General Hospital's Coronary through." Muldoon expressed fear that ords. His "sky hook" is the single most that can't bang the boards. If the Lakers Celtics got hot, and closed the gap, but Care Unit, where he was treated for an involvement in the incident may ruin his undefendable shot in the history of the are to meet Boston or Detroit in the the Lakers clinched the overall title with apparent heart attack. He is currently in hopes for a future political career. NBA. The emphasis of the Lakers' of- finals, Green and Rambis will be key a week to go. stable condition, but was unreachable One of the only Trinity oarsmen who fense no longer rests on his shoulders, so peformers. It's simple - the Lakers could afford to for comment. confessed his guilt and was willing to Jabbarcan now be content to score his 15 The bench. There is simply no com- rest Cooper and Magic, so that's what Trinity College President, James F. comment was Scott Mattoon '91. Mat- points a game, without pressure to do pare. Mychal Thompson is a great backup they did. Now they are in prime position English, held a press conference imme- toon admitted his involvement in a more. But is there anyone with as much to Jabbar at center, and can rebound and to repeat, and have every reason to be- diately following the incident, absolving "plethora of vacillating experiences" experience and savvy? After his 19 sea- score. Michael Cooper is perhaps the lieve that they will do just that. My love the entire Trinity coaching staff of any involving female rowers and drugs of sons in the league, I hardly think so. best defensive player in the league, and for the Lakers knows no bounds! Pat suspicion and any blame whatsoever. "various shapes and sizes." Byron Scott. He has certainly come seemingly hits clutch three pointers Riley is a genius! Pity the poor Celtics The president remarked that he was Neither Trinity's Administration nor into his own this season, averaging over whenever he takes them. Guard Wes fans - their team is a bunch of old, run- 20 points a game. He is the perfect Mathews is an important backup - he can down, beaten-Up scrubs who can't carry "shocked that such a detestable and irre- Trinity's coaching staff views the situ- Magic's jock. sponsible illegal activity could have been ation as a long range threat to their athlet- complement to Magic's skills points handle the point, and still has a good guard: a superb long-range shooter, who amount of offensive skill left in his bag Yeah... right. Celtics in seven. Lei's carried out upon the Trinity campus." ics program. It was announced Saturday of tricks. The president added that prior to the that Trinity's rowing program would runs the court very well, and can go to the go GREEN!!!!! uncovering of the sex, booze, and drug resume at full tilt upon the end of the two hoop for an occasional lay-up or dunk. Pat Riley. He has reached 200, 300 related suspension he "fell that it was year suspension.

DiamondVision™ Scoreboard Join Yale University For A Challenging Career Arrives—Fans Rejoice & Riot In Biomedical Research. into one indoor tennis court. This all -By Bill Charest- ration, was on hand, and said that he We invite graduating seniors with backgrounds in the sciences 10 "originally planned to put it over the comes in the wake of the announcement explore the chance IO work independently in a stale-of-the-an Master Of All Things Physical pool table, but it just wouldn't fit, so I that Trinity will host the Davis Cup fi- research environment using the latest technology available. In- nals in 1994. Athletic director Richard dividuals with the desire to grow and enrich their talents will figured what the hell, it would look good find a wide variety of research opportunities. In addition, we of- The Trinity College Baseball team on my tax return." Hazelton said that "the Scoreboard gives fer an excellent array of benefits such as: finally received what it had long awaited, As for the tennis courts, which are the baseball team a professional look, a brand new DiamondV ision Scoreboard now occupied by Scoreboard equipment, while the indoor facility will allow our • Twenty-two paid vacation days, plus four paid personal days, »i centerfield, where the tennis courts a brand new indoor sports facility is hockey program to further develop." thirteen paid holidays, recess days and twelve sick once lay. The Scoreboard, 200 feet in being built over the perpetually empty Tennis practices are currently being split days each year. height, isequipped for advertising space, Vernon St. parking lot. This indoor facil- between the Elton patio and the roof of • Medical and hospital insurance and a dental plan. as well as having a large, color display ity with consist of an 18,000-seat ice High Rise. So far, no casualties have • Tuition reimbursement for graduate school and the ability screen to provide highlights and replays, been reported. to audit courses. rink, which will be able to be converted • Flex time. l nmty College President James F. Eng- • Use of Yale's athletic facilities. 'isn, Jr. was on hand for the opening cermonies, and said that "(the) new • Proximity to theatre, concerts, and exhibits. Scoreboard will serve as both a public End of the world is... • Pension plan funded completely by Yale. and private service, and will benefit the greater Trinity community." Opening Yale... is a great place to work! cermonies included a speech by Trinity Immediate opportunities available gradaute George Will,as well asaunique version of the National Anthem, per- Please send your resume and college transcript to: formed with great soul by Don Dokken and the Tonight Show Orchestra. "I Susan Hurlbtut *"• care for it - it reminds me too much Department of Human Resources BOOM!!! Placement and Staff Relations o| 5>hea," said captain Jay Williamson. there now, feel better? Yale University Looks pretty bleeping awesome if you 1S5 Whitney Avenue ask me," said third baseman Matt Miller. Box 1404, Yale Station I he new Scoreboard, at a cost of $20 New Haven, CT 06520 muhon, was financed through private (Ok, all who actually followed this stupid joke gets a gold star (203)432-3714 ^nations, as well as the great contribu- and a cupie doll...sorry, no money.) Yale is an affirmative action, equal oppottunity employer. 'onsi made by The College View Cafes, 'fc. Martin Trial, president of the corpo- PAGE14, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, APRIL 27,1988 Sports Dying Orioles Call For Shults

Softball Wins World Series call on Friday, and he said 'Robes, baby, -By Kukla, Fran and Ollie- I need ya dude.' How could I refuse?" Associated Puppets When reminded that the Orioles are currently 0-18, Shults said, "Well, then Lake Signs With Japanese Longtime Trinity Baseball coach how difficult can it be? They never have Robie Shults has announced that the anyone on base any way." Shults is sched- ready at shortstopaswell,"They're trying Trinity easily won the 2nd and 3rd 1988 season will be his last with Trinity, uled to join the Orioles on Monday, the to compare me to Rafae 1 Santana, hah!!!" games, with Dowling picking up the -By Matthew G. Miller- as>he has decided to accept a job as third team's day off. Coach Don Miller had taught the team saves, with help from Mia Morton, and SpomGod Hunk-Ra base coach with the Orioles. "I really the double flanker reverse, with Kat Wills her defensive gems in centerfield. At last report, a number of candidates taking the balf back through the mound. Morton credited her rather unorthodox enjoyed my years at Trinity, and I'd like were being considered for the Trinity It had no purpose, but one might see headgear to her success. to thank all the people involved, my post, including Secretary Of StateGeorge The Trinity Women's Softball Team colleagues and my players," said a tear- Shultz, and Peanuts creator Charles M. defeated the New York Yankees in 4 Kevin Griffin executing the same move When Lady Bantam basketball star next year versus Coast Guard. Coach Paula Murphy was asked to reflect on the ful Shults at a Monday press conference. Schultz. Applicants are asked to call straight games to win the World Series "It's been fun watching these kids play, Trinity Athletic Director Richard Hazel- here on the beautiful Trinity Softball dia- Maureen Pine appealed for travelling Softball team's success, she commented, calls on the opposing third baseman, but "I can really bury those 3-pointers, just but I really feel that it is time to move ton, during regular business hours. Can- mond. Leanne LeBrun was the winning on," he said. didates need not know that a baseball is pitcher in all 4 games, and Lisa Lake was rebuffed continually by the umpire's give me the ball, and I am deadly." When asked about the Orioles job, a funny little round, white thing with went 26-26 with 21 triples off Rick continuation calls. The final game was another gem. Shults said, "Well, Frank gave me the little red stitches. Rhoden, Ron Ouidry, Al Leiter, Dave In the 1st game, Robin Silver led off Karyn Farquhar beat out 6 bunt singles, Righetti, and the rest of the Yankee staff. with a bunt triple, which was followed while Robin Silver put on an impressive The Yankees Columbus farm team by Ennis' single off the baseball batting power display, hitting 6 home runs (all to had defeated the Boston Red Sox in 4 cage. The game went on from there, wi th straight away center) and driving in 26 games to win the pennant (with a com- LeBrun no-hitting the vaunted Yanks, runs. Karen Gelormino set a modern bined score of 155-1), with the real but continually throwing at their heads, record, stealing 31 bases in 31 attempts, Yankees saving themselves for the Lady then popping her famous knuckle-slurve and scoring 28 runs, while climbing the Bants, who had defeated Steele's Sport- out on the corner. The only thing ap- snow fence in left to rob Don Mattingly ing Goods 4-1. The Yankees were con- proaching a hit was a fly ball to right of 4 home runs. LeBrun was again fident coming into the series. Rickey field, where Karen Leonard attempted a impressive on the mound, and did not Henderson stated, "They're all basket- double somersault with a full twist, all throw one ball, although she did hit Billy ball players, and none of them can jump." the while lining up the ball for the catch. Martin 7 times. When asked for the relevence of that After receiving a 9.75 from the judges, George Steinbrenner flew up to Trin- statement, Henderson answered, "What she noticed the ball just as it hit heron the ity during the final game, and offered to does 'relevence'mean?" DaveWinfield head. But she recovered to throw the bal 1 buy the team as a whole, but Athletic looked forward to facing LeBrun, but home, where she caught Willie Ran- Director Rick Hazelton, nixed the deal, was a little wary of facing relief pitcher dolph cringing in fear about 20 feet up saying it might break NESCAC rules. Kathleen Dowling (who recorded 2 the line, crying after Lisa Banks had Steinbrenner then bought NESCAC, but saves), "She has multi-color hair, and snarled at him, and Lake had kicked him the deal was still nixed. None of this besides (hat, who the hell knows where in the groin. fazed Lake, who signed with the Yomuri the ball is going to go." When the name Although at times LeBrun seemed to Giants for $900,000 per year, and will Kattya Lopez was mentioned, the whole be posing for yearbook pictures, she was take Bob Homer's power hitting spot. Yankee clubhouse ducked in alarm, and very effective, lasting until the 9th in- Congratulations to the Lady Bants on emerged wearing catcher's equipment. ning, after Trin had established a 68-0 their impressive World Series victory. The Lady Bants were the epitome of lead. Louise VanDerDoes then took The trophy will be on display in SAGA, confidence themselves! Captain Scooter over, and with her famous funnel ball until next week, when the representi- Coach Robie Shults, shown here in a 1979 soccor photo has flown the Ollari stated, "I'm the only Scooter, that retired the side on 9 pitches. Lake led the tives of the Capital Campaign will melt Bantum coop to join the Birds. Rizzuto character better watch out, be- way with a 7-7 day, with 7 walks, and 6 it down and sell it to Julio on the corner cause I am the legend." Kathy Ennis was triples, al! to left center. of Park Street for $20. 44 It Just Doesn't Matter...It Just Doesn't...

By the way, this will be the latest -By Matthew G. Miller- Why do the Celtics treat their bench there, I know that this has nothing to do world. Brawls. Fights. Vileepithets. And with sports, so stop your incessant whin- that's just in the stands. Bedlam reigns Sports section of under 5 pages. As of SportsGod Hunk-Ra like fine wine (the older the better)? Robert Parish was tired two years ago, so ing!). supreme. But have you ever been to a April 26, we, the sports editors, are they got Bill Walton, who's one year Jack Nicklaus was recently asked Whalers' game? Being at a Whalers' annexing the Arts and Features sections, You're probably all asking, "What's older than Parish. Then Walton got hurt, about corporate sponsorship of profes- game is like being in a sound-protected and expanding to 9 pages weekly. We this bozo going to write about this time?" so they went out and got 39-year old sional golf tournaments. After sighting morgue compared to MSG. Oh well, if feel that these changes will help us serve Well, as I start this article, I don't have (Rigor) Artis Gilmore. Who's next? Nate the USF&G Classic and other tourna- the Whalers can go 45 years without the Trinity community better, as well as the foggiest clue what I'm going to write Thurmond? Bill Russell? George Mi- ments, Nicklaus wondered, "What's next, winning the cup (like the Rangers), and provide a more animated view of Trinity about (which is often the case). So there! kan? Paul Bunyan? Brad Lohaus might 'The Pizza Hut Masters'?" Why not? they probably will, maybe the fans of the 1 i fe. We need your support - hug a sports But if I catch as many as one of you not not play until the 22nd century. Corporate sponsorship is America, pure year 2025 can make the Civic Center editor (more specifically, this sports finishing this article, you've had it! OK? By the way, the latest rumors have the and simple. I've got an idea! How about rock (assuming the damn roof stays put). editor) today! Hurry! Please! I'm wait- Anyway, you're probably wondering Red Sox trading Mike Greenwell and "The Dutch Masters Masters?" Catchy Uh-Oh, Yankees fans. Toronto 3, ing' • i who the heck Bob Probert is, since I've Sam Horn to Houston for pitcher Jim isn't it? Or what about the "Canada Dry Yankees 1. Going, going... Well, I suppose I better be going. 1 mentioned him so many times. Probert is Deshaies and outfielder Kevin Bass. I Canadian Open"? Or better yet, "The The Detroit Pistons are the most vile still don't have any clue what I've writ- a 23-year old winger for the Detroit Red was just listening to the Sox' game on Molson Canadian Canadian Open?" Now bunch of quasi-human beings ever to ten about, but y'all probably don't have Wings who, let's say, has a propensity to radio and it came over that this deal that could be fun... walk the face of the Earth. Adrian Dantley a clue either, so I guess that's OK. By the tip back a few cold ones now and then. could happen any day now - honest to The Arts page is a bunch of bleeding- is the only player on the team that I can way, about the Red Sox trade -1 had my Probert has been arrested for drunk driv- God. Apparently the Sox want another heart, liberal, communist tripe. marginally accept. You can't imagine fingers crossed (heh, heh!). ing oh...seven times or so. This year, lefty in the rotation, and they just can't Free agency is for the birds. Look what how hard I laughed when Isaiah blew it however, Probert put aside his problems find room for Horn. Houston is a safe happened to Paul Coffey. All his team- in Game 6 last year. I loved it! Basketball We're Sorry..Sniff and scored 29 goals. By the way, did I place to trade these two. Bass (who almost mates get theircontracts renegotiated, so players are, in general, very talented The Tripod regrets the mistakes mention that he had 398 penalty min- went to the Yankees last week) will give he expects the same. But Edmonton's athletes, with a fl air for the artistic. Detroit that were made in its last issue. The utes? Ouch! The thing I remember most the Sox a solid hitter with some speed, brilliant owner, Peter Pocklington, of- Pistons, on the other hand, seem to have about Probert was when he head-butted and Deshaies is a good, young southpaw fers him a small raise, along with some the collective goal of getting the entire first apology goes to Ellie Pierce, Bob McGill during a 1986 fight, knock- with potential. Remember, you heard it lovely perma-frost Alberta real estate. team ranked in the latest Ring Magazine whose hometown as listed as North ing McGill into the next decade. The here first. I'll tell you, that's where I want to build poll. Gakk! Retch! Barf! Andover, Massachusetts. Where that NHL needs more guys like him. I wonder what it feels like to be on an my summer home: Alberta! So Coffey Enough of this Yankees garbage. The town was dug up we'll never know, Sylvain Turgeon? Don't even breathe 0-18 team? Ask an Oriole. Depressing? sits out 30 games or so, until the Oilers Mets start in five minutes. but those responsible have been shot that name anywhere near me. The Whaj- Cataclysmic? Suicidal? Masochistic? trade him to Pittsburgh. Then he comes Jim McMahon? Who's he? It's funny after digging their own graves. As ers have a few players who hustle their Like life has no meaning? Like William back, out of shape, and promptly hurts how fads come and go. Let's see, what's everyone knows, Ms. Pierce is from his knee. Good job! Everyone loses - the butts off every night, players who would Perry's mattress? Like a fire hydrant? his latest injury? I think it's his shoulder Billings, Montana. go through a brick wall to score, like You get the idea.... Hear the one about Oilers, the fans, and Coffey. And then of this time. I wonder how much longer of Kevin Dineen and Stewart Gavin. They the kid in Baltimore that ran away from course, good ol' Glen Sather commits Secondly, the Tripod would like Jimbo can take being a human pinata to set the record straight. Trinity sure as hell don't need someone like home? It seems his parents were beating highway robbery, taking most of every Sunday afternoon? The Bears are Turgeon, who seems to think that the him, so he ran away, and took refuge in Pittsburgh's future in the trade for Cof- the best team in football with him, but Women's Lacrosse did not beat Tufts main goals in hockey is to dull the blades the Orioles' clubhouse. When the police fey. Nice guy, huh? Free agency is for they aren't even the best team in their last week, they defeated UConn. And of his skates and look good in publicity asked him why he had gone there, the the birds. division without him. Maybe the Fridge the Lady Bants did not lose to Conn. photos. I'd love to see him try to grow a boy replied, "Because the Orioles never Hear the one about the Denver Bron- could try QB? This Fridge character is College, they lost to the Brazilian beard. beat anyone." (Thanks, Rick). cos' Towing Service? Apparently, the something else, all right - all 6'3", 340 National Surfing Team. Have you heard the one about the By the way, RUSH is the greatest players have gotten together in the off- lbs of him. Did you know he could dunk Finally, the Tripod would like to Browns fan that goes to Heaven? The fan musical organization in the history of season to run a towing service for motor- a basketball when he reported to the apologize to Edie Silver. Idi, as she is dies, goes to Heaven, and lives out his human existence, and even before that. ists in trouble. Unfortunately, they only Bears as a rookie (he weighed a svelte dream of being a football player. When This NFL season will be fun; bets are show up if there's a blowout. 305 then)? Jeez Marie! known to her friends, is no relation he gets there, he notices that all the going out as of now to see if either Joe Balks suck wind. It's gotten so bad to the former Ugandan leader, nor is players are wearing shirts with letters on I think Trinity should start a river Walton or Sam Wyche can coach their that if a pitcher so much as thinks about she the sister of Uzi, a famous sub- them, 1 ike "RB", "LB", "OT", etc. So the rafting team. I know the perfect spot, way out of a paper bag. Smart money is not coming to a stop, he's hit with a balk. about 20 miles up Route 44, in Canton (I machine gun. , fan asks St. Peter, "What are the letters on "neither". for on their shirts?" St. Peter replied, Right now, there is exactly ONE team in think), on the Farmington River. Until This just in. In a totally unexpected 1 don't know about you, but I've had baseball (the Phillies) that haven't been you go through the rapids a few thousand move, both Liz McKee and Laura "My son, those are for the position that about enough of the "Energizer" guy, each person plays, like 'running back' called for a balk. That's not ludicrous, times and get your brains knocked around you know, the one that has that "High- Everett, the Lady Bant goalkeepers, and so forth." So the fan looked around that's just plain stupid. I've got an idea. when you capsize (as my brother Chris have been called up to the U.S. Na- way Man" show on Friday nights? Yeah, You know those "Superstars of Base- and noticed an older man wearing a shirt and I have done several times), you just tional Team. They have been sum- with "BK" on it? "What does BK stand him. What a sorry excuse for homo ball" competitions? How about having a can't have a proper perspective on life. for?" the fan asked. Answered St. Peter: sapiens. He should be banned from tele- "Balk-Off? The pitcher who comes up The best thing is to watch people in moned to team headquarters in Lo vision, drawn and quartered, and the with the most creative balk gets S10,000. canoes try to navigate the rapids, and Angeles. McKee was quoted as say- "Oh, that's God. He likes to pretend he's hm Bernie Kosar." My thanks to my room- pieces should be shot. He looks like Sounds good to me. capsize, sending the 2 or 3 cases of beer ing; "Where is Los Angeles?", ^ mate, and Browns News Illustrated for Brian Bosworth, and talks like Croco- After two, Yankees 1, Blue Jays 1. they brought with them floating wildly Everettstated that; "she would neye that one. dile Dundee.That's it! Maybe they should As a completely impartial fan, I think downstream. You know what they say, miss a math class just to play on tw bring back "Columbo." (For all you out the Rangers' fans are the best in the the best brew is free brew. national team." APRIL 27,1988, THE TRINITY TRIPOD, FAGE15 Sports

TRINITY BASEBALL NATIONAL LEAGUE BATTING LEADERS 1987-88 STRAT0MAT1C HOCKEY TRINITY 1 I 4 5 (I 3 3 I 3 • 22 22 0 (through games of 4/2.1/88) Texas 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1- I 0 0 LEADING GOAL SCORERS Player H AB Avc. Player Gls WP; Sullivan (1-0). LP: Clemens (<)5-l). Rafael Bellbrd, Pitt.. 35 60 .5R3 HRs: T: Slarensier, Bonomo, Loncrgan, Tonms Sundsirom, Rangers 88* Joe Magrane. St. L.. 1 2 .500 Mike Gartner, Washington 86 Williamson, Miller, Rogalski. Marrn. Tim Flannery. S.D., 30 62 .484 DeMaio, Giant, Brown, Levine, Davis, Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh 85 Chris Speier. S.F.. 26 56 .464 Kevin Dineen. Whalers 67 Mcltzer, Rozzi, Delena, Fcderman, Port, Matt Miller, N.Y.. 25 60 .417 SlaiHon, Hicks. Donlon, Sullivan, Shults. Mike Bossy, Islanders 57 Jay Williamson, Si. L. 25 60 .417 BK: Sullivan .1, Schiruldi. T-2:5(); Alt,; 56,042. Joe Mullen, Calgary 56 Others: Pam Postemu. 0 1 ,(K)() Walt Poddubny, Rangers 50 TEN PLAYERS I'D LIKE TO HAVE (denotes new record; old record: SI, fry NANCY REAGAN'S ALL STAR TEAM Denis Savard, 1986-87) IF I WERE BLLIDING AN NHL TliAM IB: Keilh Hernandez. Mets 1. Wayne Gretzky 2B: Eddie Milner. Reds THE LAST SENTENCE OF "MAGIC 2. Mario Lemieux 3B: Dule Berra. Pirates 3. Sieve Yzerman MOUNTAIN", BY THOMAS MANN SS: Gary Templeion. Padres "Out of this universal feasl of deaih, out of 4. Ray Bourque C: Darrell Porter, Royals 5. Paul Coffcy this extremity of fever, kindling the rain-washed ; OF: Lonnie Smith. Royals evening sky to a fiery glow, may it be that 6. Gram [ uhr OF: Willie Wilson. Royals 7. Lue Robataille Love one day shall mount?" OF: Jerry Martin, Royals {copyright 1927. Alfred A. Knopf. Inc.) 8. Dale Hawerchuk SP: Dwighl Gooden. Mels 9. Denis Savurd SP: Floyd Younians, Expos 10. Michel Goulet 10 Things That Frank Robinson Would RP: Steve Howe, Rungers Rather be Doing Than Coaching The RP: Bill Lee. Rhinoceros Parly Baltimore Orioles TEN PLAYERS I'D LIKE TO HAVE IF I 1. Drinking a slurpee. WERE BULIDING A PRO WRESTLING TEAM HOW'S THIS FOR A CHANGE OF PACE? I.BobProbert 2. Riding a subway in New York. As I was writing Ihis, Mcts' reliever Roger McDowell 3. Cleaning a Jones Dorm bathroom on Sunday morning. 2. Chris Nilnn hit a double, good for 2 RBI. The Mets are now ahead, 4. Being force-fed a whole water buffalo. 3. Torrie Robeil.son 10-7. Thought you mighi like 10 know thai. 5. Listening to a Madonna/Tom Jones duet. 4. Jay Miller 6. Getting eaten by a crocodile, 5. Scon Stevens THE MARTIN S. TRIAL FLOOR HOCKEY 7. Serving a life sentence at Riker's Island. 6. UlfSamuelsson LEAGUE SCORING LEADERS 8. Being an l.V, syringe tester. 7. Kjell Samuelsson G A Pts. 9. Jumping off the Empire Slate Building. 8. Clark Gillies Chris "Gainey" Dickinson '89 28 90 118 10. Being batboy for trie Cleveland Indians. 9. Rick Tocchel Marc "Marcel" Esterman '86 62 2 64 10. Martin Trial Mark "Mario" Lilke '86 26 2~8 56 The Sports Editor's 10 Favorite Hockey Brawlers Larry "Gavin" Marks '87 46 6 52 I.NickFotiu American League Balk Leaders Chris "Saree" Charesl '93(?) 19 27 46 2. Jeff Brubaker Bobby Wilt, Tex, Bill "Dana* Charest '89 9 34 43 3. Jay Miller Jose Guzman, Tex. Sean "Jarvis" Dougherty '89 -2 1 -1 4. Shane Churla 1 CAHCC10 Charlie Hough, Tex, FLOOR HOCKEY OOALTEND1NO LEADER0S 5. Bob Probert Dale Moliorcic, Tex. LcAUbr SVft GAA 6. Ron Talakowski Mitch Williams, Tex. Mark Litke '86 .902 3.38 7. Jay Williamson Ed Coma, Tex. Chris Dickinson '89 .888 3.26 8. Mike Miele Pele Incaviglia, Tex. Mail "Hondo" Miller 'X'J .910 3.26 9. Joey Kocur John Ramsey '91 .889 3.45 10. Willie Plett A BASKETBALL TEAM I'D LIKK TO SEND CHRIS FISHER'S NCAA ALL-NAME TEAM The Assl, Sports Editor's Ten Favorite Hockey Brawlers AGAINST THE SOVIETS IN SEOUL G - Demetrius Gore, Pill (captain) 1. Al Secord C - Akeem Olajuwon, Houston G - Mookic Bluylock, Oklahoma 2. Jay Miller C - Pat Ewing, New York F- Fennis Dernbo, Wyoming 3. Joey Kocur F -Larry Bird, Boston F - LaFester Rhodes, Wake Forest 4. Behn Wilson F - Charles Barkley, Philadelphia C - Rikki Smils, Marist 5. Tiger Williams F- Dominique Wilkins, Atlanta Coaches: Jud Healhcote, Michigan St. 6. Bryant McBride F - Karl Malone, Utah Asst. Coach: Baskerville Holmes 7. Bob Probert G - Magic Johnson, Lakers 8. Tim Hunter G - Michael Jordan, Chicago AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.., 9. Jim Peplinski G - John Stockton, Ulali The Mets win, 12-9. Lei's go Mets, lei's do it again. 10. Chris Nilan G - Isaiah Thomas, Detroit BOB HORNER'S FIVE FAVORITE FOODS Ten Sports' Personalities Who Should Be Shot, and Drawn and Quartered A BASKETBALL TEAM I'D LIKE TO SEND 1. Page 1 o{ the Friendly's menu. 1. Danny Ainge AGAINST THE IRANIANS IN TEHRAN 2. Pressed buffalo under glass. 2. Danny Ainge C-Andre The Giant 3. 10 cases of Haffenreffer 3. Danny Ainge C - Hulk Hogan 4. 5 Pepperoni pizzas, with a 2-litcr 4. Ted DiBiase F - Howie Long Diel Coke chaser (10 show he's honest) 5. Kevin McHale F - One Man Gang 5. The four food groups (all of them) 6. Billy Tubbs F - Brian Bosworth 7. Digger Phelps -F - Lyk AIZMIO . . .. . S.LouHolu G - Dave "Tiger" Williams 9. Joe Walton 0 - "Iron" Mike Tyson 10. All Ihe New Jersey Devils G - Chuck Norm Honorable Mention: Sylvain Turgeon G - Mark McGwire (willi « but) The College View Cafe Sports Scoreboard

Schedule

Boxing 4/26 at Chuck Landis Country Club, Resada, California Jesus Poll vs. Miguel Juarez; Junior featherweights

4/27 at Sterling Heights, Michigan Renaldo "Little Red" Carter vs. Gigi Estrada; bantamweights

B/31 at Go Skate Hall, Jakarta, Indonesia Gerron Poras vs. Henky Gun; super featherweights

7/9 at Kawagoe, Japan Gilberto Roman vs. Yoshiyuki Uchia; super flyweights

4/27 Indoor Soccer Los Angeles Lazers vs. Kansas City Comets This week s College View Athletes Of The Week are Marc Ester- man ( 86) and Larry Bird (I.S.U. 79). Esterman, from Greenwich, CT, 5/1 has distinguished himself as a top performer in the Trinity Intramu- Hockey ral Street Hockey League. In addition to his floor hockey, Esterman Detroit vs. St. Louis-x x-if necessary piloted the NY Rangers to the 1987-88 Stratomatic championship, and is the creator of the College View Scoreboard. Bird, a forward for 3/25/89 the Boston Celtics, has lead his team to the best record in the East, Hockey while averaging 29.93 pts., 8.8 rebs. and 6.1 assists. Congratulations Hartford vs. St. Louis gentlemen, and keep up the good work! Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day mmmWfflm^$mBIB „,,,. CSv* ^—^ J^^^^l Vol. LXXXV, Issue 18, April 27,1988 TRIPOf ™Tfflr^TJ TRINITY COLLEGE • HARTFORD • DCONNECTICUT #SPORTIMM /£^\M I S JL - msm**r Sullivan No-Hitter Powers Bants By Texas including pitchers David Federman (who -By Bill Charest- filled in for Williamson behind the plate Maslev of AH Things Physical after the fifth inning), Dave Port, Paul Stanton, Jason Hicks and Chris Donlon, The Trinity College Baseball team each of whom launched home runs. The produced one of the greatest wins in col- game was halted for 45 minutes in the lege history, beating an All-80's Texas seventh inning, after Trinity's David squad 22-1 before a packed house of Grant hit a ball through the roof of the 56,042 at the Houston Astrodome. The Dome, and workers had to rush to repair game was especially gratifying for Trin- the damage before the roof collapsed. ity pitcher Bill Sullivan, who recorded a Sullivan, meanwhile, kept the Long- no-hitter in his first collegiate start. horns off the board, going the distance Trinity jumped out quickly against despite walking 11 Texas batters. "It's fanner Longhom star Roger Clemens, easier to pitch from the stretch," said who was seeking his 96th straight vic- Sullivan. "I just kept them off-balance tory on the team's whirlwind U.S. tour. all day, and used my knuckler to get out Dave Starensier led off the game with a of trouble. As far as walks go, I figured solo shot to left, the first of 22 solo it would be best to relieve the pressure of homers by the Bants. Frank Bonomo and pitching a perfect game as soon as pos- Keith Lonergan followed with two more sible," he said. blasts, and Clemens was sent to the Sullivan struck out 12 Longhoms, most showers. "What the hell," said the Red of whom were swinging in self-defense, Sox' ace, "I needed a shower and a good but lost his bid for a shutout when he brew, anyway." walked the Icadoff batter in the ninth, The Bantams treated Longhom re- and balked the runner all the way around lievers Calvin Schiraldi and Greg Swin- the bases. "I had a pebble in my sneaker, dell with the same disrespect as they had and every time I moved my foot to try to treated Clemens. Swindell was sent get it out, theycalledabalk. What could packing in the fourth, after Jay William- 1 do?" Indeed, balk calls were abundant son, Matt Miller, Rocco DeMaio, Marc on the day, as Texas' Calvin Schiraldi WooaoshlUt The pitch (not seen here) by Sully (also not seen here) was clocked at a leisurely 185 MPH, effectively retiring Rozzi, and Rick Rogalski connected for was called for a balk, when, in the middle this Texas batter. five consecutive homers (an NCAA of his delivery, he was struck by light- promptly crushed a homer to dead cen- it deep," he said after the game. The Robin Ventura, a .400 hitter last year, record), to give Trin a 13-0 lead. "It felt ning. The dazed Schiraldi fell toward the ter. The Texas coaching staff contested Bantam benched emptied, as the entire and they should provide ample competi- like I was back in Cleveland," said Swin- first base side of the mound, and the that this was an illegal move, but accord- team greeted Shults as he crossed home tion. This Saturday's contest will mark dell. Third baseman Matt Miller, who hit home plate umpires correctly ruled a ing to Rule 1. 134(c), paragraph 11 ,"...any plate, and carried the jubi lant coach back the unveiling of the new DiamondVision the Astrodome speaker with his fifth balk had taken place, allowing Mike managermay becomealcgal playerwhen to the dugout on their shoulders. Scoreboard in centerfield, the funding inning blast, said "the bleeping pitches Davis to move to second. the scoring differential is greater than 20 The team whooped it up at Cooter's for which came from College View Cafes, looked like bleeping beachballs. We were Perhaps the game's finest moment runs." Needless to say. Coach Shults after the game, and is looking forward to Inc. (Martin Trial, president), as well as bleeping teeing off the the bleepers all came when Coach Robie Shults pinch was quite happy. "He threw me a belt- its next contest, this Saturday, at home private contributions. Come support the bleeping day {"Everyone got into the act. hit in the ninth inning for the Bants, and high fastball that just sat there, so I took against Okalhoma St. OSU is led by Bants as they tackle OSU! Lady Bants Win Olympic Gold A Real Crew Article the Soviet Union. Paula Murphy was hitting 26 shots, and finishing with 60 -By Matthew G. Miller- quoted before the game as saying; (al- points. The only negative was Karyn -By Kate Dillan- results. I think it was stroke Lou O'Brien SportsGod Hunk-Ra though she will say she didn't) "Wow, Farquhar's shooting, which had been so Sports Staff Writer that said, "nothing good's gonna last can I shoot from 3-point range, I don't good in the previous games (68-69), but forever..." The varsity women lost have a conscience for shooting, because faltered in the Soviet game, where she O.K.... we've all heard about "April (there, I said it) by about four seats. The The Lady Bants basketball team de- I never miss." That was in response to a was 4-132. Kathy Ennis, though saved ihowers", but this is ridiculous! Snow excuses ranged from, "I think it was fcated the Soviet Union today 210-9, to question about Coach Maureen Pine. In the day, grabbing 74 offens ive rebounds, ast weekend, thunderstorms this week- because I ate too many pancakes" to "I win the gold medal at the Seoul Olym- a response to a question about and dishing off to Jen Barr who also fired md... there had better be a whole lot of didn't sleep all night because Tracy pics. With the regular players that nor- Everybody's All-American, Leanne at will. Kattya Lopez had 48 assists and flowers this May. Maybe those weeks kept pushing me off the bed." But there mally would be competing for the team LeBrun, Ms. Murphy answered, "Boy, did not take a shot, much to the amaze- ~n Tampa spoiled the Trin crew teams, is no getting around the truth. Geor- sitting out in a player's strike (they re- that shot felt good when I took it, Larry ment of the universe in general. but I really can't seem to recall an April getown is always a tough race; last year fused to cross the Hartford Jai-Alai picket Bird better watch his butt, because I'm The Soviets closed the gap to 174-9 :his cold before. Another thing I can't their varsity women won the gold medal line, plus Anne Donovan fell in love with the best ever." with 2 consecutive 3-painters with :35 ieem to recall is the Trin crew teams at the Dad Vails. Trinity's women are Arra II), the Lady Bants were the only While the rest of the team recovered remaining, but the Lady Bants scored the doing so well against Georgetown, at also a strong crew, though, and they available squad. from their laughing fits, Coach Pine gave final 36 points to complete the nerve- east in recent history. The women raced feel that Georgetown is beatable this After a heartbreaking loss to Sim- her squad some last-minute advice; "I wracking victory. ieorgetown and Drexel in Princeton, year. The Trin women just have to learn mons, Trin was not supposed to advance didn't go to the Bobby Knight School of Although Glew led the team in scor- NJ this weekend, and three out of the to rely on their fitness; they've got to go I-- to the medal round, but the Blind School Coaching Philosophy for nothing. We ing, the real star of the game was Lisa four women's crews came up with wins. all out for the entire race and not hold proved no match for the tough Lady Bant didn't practice 23 hours a day, 7 days a Banks. Despite playing with a catcher's The novice women had a tough race. anything back. Coach Apfelbaum pre- 5. Trinity dominated both the offensive week, for 9 months just to lose to some mitt on her left hand The whole game. Georgetown always has a pretty good dicted early in the season that the and defensive glass, and cruised to a 51- Commies." Assistant Coach Ralph White Banks recorded the first decade double novice crew, and this year was no ex- competition would be thick at the top 40 victory. The Blind School's shooting shocked the Soviets as he walked on to in history. She scored 10 points, had 10 ception. Trinity's novice jumped ahead this year, and her forecast has rung true. was helped by the facts that the rim was the court wearing nothing but a Russian rebounds, 10 steals. 10 assists, 10 turn- by more than a length immediately, and There will be many very good crews stillreverberatingfromanunnamedLady flag with a strategically placed sickle. overs, 10 minuies played, 10 personal held on to that lead until about the competing for that gold medal at the Bant's foul shots. This long jump and The opening tip went to the Bants, fouls, 10 doubles. 10 triples, and 10 1500m mark, when Georgetown made Vails. Trin's bronze medalist crew from 400 meter track star threw up some putouts. with LeBrun outjumping the 7'4" Soviet a move and started to catch up. In that last year has a tough fight ahead of them wonderful shots, with just the right touch center, and dishing to Maryanne Kirsten Kolstad. afler finding housing exciting last 500m, the Georgetown this year, but they know it, and they to send the seismograph rocking. O'Donnell for a 3-pointer from 64 feet. women somehow made up about two in a pup tent, she forgot about hotel be ready. In the semi-finals Trin met the Portug- The game continued in this manner for engths of water, and it was head to head reservations, was effective in shutting And now, for the women you've all ese 5th grade squad, composed of 12 the whole first half, which ended with all the way to the finish line. Trinity's down the vaunted Soviet attack, but she been waiting for, the winner of the var- players under 3'2". Although the Lis- thescore.Trin 101 SovietUnion3. Trin's novice hung on tough, though, to pull committed 5 charging fouls and was sity bus "Quiet Contest", sponsored by bonites speed caused some problems, speed and height was just to much for the ejected from the game for excessive out yet another victory. Karyn Farquhar was able to sky for her defending World Champions, and with SGA president Art Muldoon and offici- violence. When asked what brought on ated by MarkEller '89. Mr. Eller,sport- normal terrifying reverse thunder dunks, LeBrun hitting 3- pointers from all over, the sudden aggressive streak, she stated, The J.V. women also had a very ex- and Scooter Ollari was able to penetrate the game was well in hand. citing race. They were ahead at the start, ing a pair of spiffy purplish-pink trou- "Bleep off. and then slugged this re- sers, pronounced Kate Dillon '89 (that's the middle and power through for a few But the high-scorer in the game was porter, knocking out two teeth. and they were able to keep Georgetown jams herself. behind them with a strategic "pop" me, your Tripod reporter) the winner of the potent offensive threat that is Debby The scorekeeping crew of Lisa Lake. the "Quiet Award". It was a tough con- But the big game was the final versus Glew. Glew bombed away 29 times. maneuver that got them several seats. Melissa Hobbie, and Chris Lindsay also Georgetown stayed on their tail for the test, with Suzy Stormer '90 and Becky got into the act. Lake KO'ed the Soviet entire course though, gradually taking Brainard '89 corning in second and Sports Minister with a slide tackle, inch after inch, but the Trin women third, respectively. And while this fierce Hobbie spurred her horse into kicking emerged victorious by a scant 0.7 sec- competition was going on, Eller enter- the backup Soviet point guard, and Lind- onds. Good work, J.V.! tained the entire bus with a medley o say was continually late in sen ing up the oldies sung a capella for half the jour- 30- second clock. Actually she was just The lightweight women raced Drexel, in what also was a victorious race for ney. He might have continued to sing continually late. for the rest of the trip, but when Johr As the learn received their gold medal Trinity. The lightweights had a tough week of practices beforehand; the strong Ulrich '90 knocked over Eller s from President Reagan, who called the McDonald's ice tea (with Nutrasweer ) team the Phantoms, and praised Wash- wind here in Hartford made it impos- sible to row for a couple days, and there he was visibly shaken, and was unable ington. D.C. as a great college town, to continue. Nice work, John! We don t sports reporter Matt Miller tapped a ke«. was also a change in the lineup. How- and toasted to finally beating the Com- ever, newcomer Maya Cameron '91 know if Eller has fully recovered yet mies at something. He was quickly blended well with the crew. but we do know this: Mark Eller wil arrested by Ed Meese. and charged with And now for the varsity women's never win the Quiet Award. basketball fraud, while the team fol- lowed him. demanding the death penally for him having written this ariicle. Le Brim just argued fora technical foul, and a 1 + 1 from the line. She was quickly Inside: Look For given her 58th technical of her career, and was carried off screaming by the Buz/ards Bay police department. ' . wondering why she's wearing a Softball uniform in a basketball article. Oh well, same team, same difference. Ah, the thrill of an Olympic victory. Yourself Jerk.