Inside This Issue News 3 International 6 Opinion 7 Student Life 8 Feature 10 theCord Sports 12 Entertainment 15 Brain Candy 18 Classifieds 19 ""The tie that binds since 1926" Volume XXXVII • Issue Fifteen • Wednesday, November 20,1996 WEEKLY WLU Student publications The Turret has a Tea Party

ROBIN WHITTAKER With Martin perched on a most 's huge sound Cord Entertainment exotic throne, the band opened worked well in the confines of the with "The Grand Bazaar," the Turret. Playing the 11th of 12 WILLIAMS "We're doing this acoustic set, acoustic version of their usual shows on this tour, the Tea Party which involves a lot of concentra- opener "." It packed as gave music fans a rare treat. tion for the typical music fan," says much power as the electrified origi- Said Martin on-stage: "This is STEPHEN Tea Party bassist , nal, but with more of a melodic the last chance to play for our a few hours before the innovative centre. friends before we hibernate for a PICTURE: band ignites the Turret. Martin's rich voice guided the bit." "Our generation has such a crowd through the songs. He spoke Chatwood said in our interview: short attention span. It's a positive about the show's "vibe," alluded to "1 don't really know if our next thing that people can still pay atten- drugs, and labelled their songs as album is heading in this direction, tion." "pretty fucking cool." so it's almost like the closing of a And pay attention they did. The stars of the first set were chapter. We're trying to do every- The Tea Party's show last the instruments themselves. thing to make sure we saw and did Wednesday was the band's second Martin's Gibson harp , which everything possible in that chapter." appearance in K-W this year. What he referred to as "the beast," and And how did Chatwood fare on they brought this time was some- the tamboura, at which at least one the requisite Rock Star K-W Quiz? thing generally unexpected. fan shouted "look at that fuckin' "1 have an uncle that lives here, As true originators in Canadian rod, man!" were two of dozens of so I'm aware a bit ofKitchener. My music, the Tea Party opened for instruments they'd packed into brother actually went to school themselves. Chatwood, Jeff Martin their Molson touring truck. here for a year, or a couple ofyears, (vocals and guitar), and Jeff With a somber, driven authority, or three years.... What would you Burrows (drums) provided an they played acoustic songs from say is really unique about acoustic set, revolving between their recent EP "Alhambra," as well Kitchener?... It was called New exotic melodious and percussive as a much improved version Berlin. I'm aware of that." instruments. Burrows' hand-drum- of "Turn the Lamp Down Low," It is wholly apparent that the ming technique, even on his cym- originally off their "Edges of Tea Party bring on-stage the same bals, made the full drum-set a half- Twilight" album. focus that they carry with them acoustic organism in itself. Exploding on-stage with electric every day, in their song-writing and Throughout the show ethereal fervour, their second set began with in their work-ethic. It's what makes images from their enhanced CD "The Bazaar" find never let up. them exceptional to hear and to were projected onto the Turret's Fans shouted out the names of watch. ceiling, giving fans something to their favourite songs, and most The Tea Party refuse to be gaze at, motionless, since the three requests were eventually fulfilled. made by pop-culture. Instead, by seated were nearly Asserted Martin: "Hey! I'm the fusing eastern and western sounds, impossible to see from anywhere singer here. I get to make the deci- they strive constantly to make their but the front. sions." own culture. ISBISTER SIMON Saskatchewan PICTURE: Huskies off

toVanier " " WMMWmMi J"?''' The Affordable Pro has Arrived! k v ?V ?*r ? < ?V Ik ?V ? < ?V ?V ?V ?V ?V ?V ?V ?V ?lr Tt" ?V ?V ?t- ?t-" @ Ss TREND PRO-150 pro □ 150 MHz Intel Pentium® Pro processor Pentium Ii , - Jl6 megs of RAM memory □ 256k cache

~"■ ~ | ' j floppy m l 1 M 3.5" 1.44M6 drive "J: ~ = \ 150 y. 112 'E_ fl \ □ 2.1 gig IDE hard drive (2 \ • J megs) rVTTTI -0) \ PCI local bus video card 1 □ Wt controller, 2 - hi-speed serial ports, 2 _J, and bi-directional parallel port on-board

' J J 'iance(' keyboard $ mouse * L • ~Sa n 2-button fig# □ Windows 95 pre-loaded (w/ manuals)

B|.ft " ; TTj | - □ Monitor not included

" '"1, exaciiy as shown 5 YEAR WARRANTY Free software when you ißOMHiand a Jfe pay by Cash or Interac! yjh ngf Multimedia models - Get a free copy of compton's 96 available. Please visit % ■ V Si ™ &kJB &kJB Interactive Encyclopedia when you pay for If your nearest location your Trend system wit# cash o> Interac! I lor details. Surprisingly affordable with a Pentium Pro proctor :■* . . ' ... .-,,,, ... VISIT A ill 'Mn' ijgM 1™ |M| | COMPUTREND B |^. l w — | STORE NEAR YOU The Intel Inside Logo and Pentium Pro are registered trademarks of Intel Corporation.. All prices are subject to error or change without notice.

don' t at to lit] in t(e New Year wi\ your L»ier (rieA. get that SPECIAL FRIEND FOR üBH CHRISTMAS?

Tickets; $4.00 advance & $6.00 at tf>e door I^^^ IHCLudes: Hon' about a wilf's Complimentary) Hors D'oeurves » »j • * |pp| Party Favours Gift Certificate!

__

a(( request DJ until lam $ Date

— Pree Triw Giveaway to Montreal New Years! sumof „ ,—r I O forI Good tor rood or beverages SATURDAY N0V.30 NEWS Administration's budget to be increased by $200,000 MELANIE SEAL advice. Ifwe don't change, we're not process," Fusco said, adding that "The previous budget did not Cord News going to be competitive." the matter is going to the Board of have any provisions for increased The Senate Finance Committee, in "At the end of the day, whose Governors. "We're concerned with wages," Lambert said. itsreport to the University Senate on pocket does this come out of but the the lack of process, the lack of "No department budget was November 12 "... brings to the atten- students," Joel Lynn, President of addressing the issues." affected by the cuts," Read said. "1 tion of Senate its grave concerns the Wilfrid Laurier University Marsden said these positions took the entire cut out of my own regarding new unbudgeted expen- Students' Union said while updating were passed in a review of the budget. I said to them (Senate) that diture increases in Administration his Board of Directors on the most Registrar's Office last spring. "I did I shouldn't have that kind of extra when all other areas face a 1% bud- recent Senate meeting. "I would things 1 think ought to have been money in my budget. You've given getreduction." suggest the President was lost for done," Marsden said, "1 don't think I me a budget at the start of the The report brought about a flur- words because Senate was asking did anything wrong." Marsden said year, and I'm going to spend every ry of discussion and demands for for accountability," Lynn said. "My that had she waited for approval, cent of it." jf accountability from Administration guess is the whole accountability the changes would have taken Commenting on the one per- L as to why they had exceeded the issue is going to come to a boil - and another year to come about. cent decrease, Fusco said, "The k University's current Operating someone is going to be in trouble." 'They were concerned that these problem arose because they i Budget for the 1996-1997 fiscal "It's difficult to put the chair on (expenses) should have been includ- made up a budget based on no University year by $200,239, and had received the stand," Trevor Newell said, ed in the original budget," Gary wage increases." Fusco believes this President Dr. Lorna Marsden increase in the updated explaining the difficulty of question- Lambert, Assistant Vice President: was bad foresight, as the University a 16.28% had defend capital budget, when all other areas had ing Marsden at the Senate meeting Finance/Comptroller said. Lambert was aware it was going into con- to expen- ditures at the November 12 received an "across-the-board" cut because she also chairs it. said that reports explaining the tract negotiations when the budget Senate meeting. of 1% in funding. Upon receiving notification of the need for positions such as the was created early in 1996. "That's "We haven't exceeded the 1% budget cuts, Dr. Arthur Read, Information Technology consultant not a good way to budget," Fusco Operating budget," Wilfrid Laurier Dean of Arts and Science, and his and an enrollment co-ordinator had noted. that I don't run into a deficit." University President Dr. Lorna Advisory Council sent a memo to been issued to both the Senate and "Everybody knows we planned a "These are difficult times, I have Marsden said, "My budget has the Roland Smith, Vice President: the Board of Governors. "Some (of breakeven budget," Marsden said, a lot of sympathy," Marsden said, largest percentage increase." Academic, stating, "In light of the its these positions) are not handled on "they had to realize we had to have adding that the budget cuts were "The increase of $200,239, or obvious impact on the academic a contract basis," Lambert said. a budget cut." "no surprise to anybody" 16.23% (in the University President's function of the University, this group "Some are consulting positions." Fusco suggested that not work- When asked if the one percent and VP: Finance & Administration's objects to the across-the-board Read said that the ing the wage increase into the 1996- cuts, although absorbed by his own sub-section of the Administration's budget cut (of 1%) proposed as part Administration's expenditures are 1997 operating budget was intend- budget, would affect students, Read budget), reflects the need for an of the budget update process." not the only areas that are question- ed. When the faculty asked for a 2% said, "Sure it will. Courses in the Information Technology Consultant, To Senate Finance Committee able. "I think we have to look at the increase, "Some of the various winter time with lower enrollment an Information Technology Co-ordi- members, the increased expendi- entire budget update... I think there groups responded by saying there will be cancelled." Read said that nator, an enrollment co-ordinator, tures by Administration came as a are other areas you could ask ques- are no monies available... It was a students will find themselves with additional secretarial and consulting shock. "There was no explanation tions about, too," Read said. negotiation strategy on their part, less choice and larger class sizes. assistance for the Search and introduction... it looked like they The Senate Finance Report stat- trying to enforce a freeze that didn't "We'd better not spread this myth Committees, an increase in the legal were making major changes. They ed that the one percent decrease work. If you put a freeze on the anymore of small classes. We have budget, and additional costs associ- might be good decisions - we object- was a result of the recent wage table, you're going to end up spend- smaller classes than some ated with pending grievances. Most ed to the process," Luke Fusco, increases granted in the contract ing more." Universities, but we really can't of these new expenditures are one President of the Wilfrid Laurier negotiations this summer. "Figures "We had saved money for the spread that idea anymore." time only and will not become part University Faculty Association and a for each area include the wage social contract," Marsden said, "We will have bigger classes," of the base budget for the member of the Senate Finance increases resulting from the expira- adding that it was the increase on Fusco said. "There won't be some 1997/1998 fiscal year," the Senate Committee said. "In the revised bud- tion of the social contract, the top of that that required the one sections, they (the University) won't Finance Committee report stated. get, they took it (the surplus of recently settled Union contracts, and percent cuts. "There are always be hiring as many profs. Every "If we're going to make the tech- $200,000 in expenditures) out and an estimate for those contracts yet trade ofls," Marsden said. department will have to make it on nology change and improve, we're called it new initiatives.' The barn to be settled... As part of the budget "I found money in the full-time their own." going to have to spend the money," door had been closed too late. When strategy, total budget expenditures faculties," Read said, explaining The University's updated budget Marsden said, "If we're going to you're going to do this, talk to us were reduced by one percent," the how he was able to recover from is not final until it is passed by its manage enrollment, we need expert about it... there has be some report stated. the cuts. "I'm hoping against hope Board of Governors. Culture Shock

Yeah, those guys with the little horns But getting back to these essays, line up for miles to take a bite of. ERIC HENRY and the forked tails are sitting on a I can't figure them out. I mean, why You'll see. It will happen. Cord News Commentary beach somewhere in the tropics. I do I write them? Sure, I want to do Now picture all of this in your Clark has been gone all week, can imagine them now: "Relax well. Of course I don't want to get mind. I'm in the computer lab writ- something to do with the Board of folks, university profs are doing our booted out of my major. But why ing this. Right about now, I'm stand- Directors meeting for Proctor & jobs for us. Get us a round of mar- essays? How is it that pages upon ing up and stabbing the screen with Gamble. Which reminds me, I garitas." pages of tedious thoughts from my my finger. People are watching. should ask him for a job this sum- If I remember correctly, October stale imagination will prove my Someone is out in the hall calling mer. Anyway, I haven't really had has always been a drab and boring worth? security. Yes, here come the guys time to miss the little guy because month for me, followed by a hellish Well let me tell you something. with the uniforms. They want me to I've been so busy writing a couple of and hectic November. It's been this My imagination may be as stale as a calm down. Not bloody likely. I've venomous essays assigned by equal- way since that first math test in first day old doughnut, but I can still eat got an essay to write and this com- ly malicious professors. But I'm not grade. Did I ever study for that one! that doughnut. I can soften it up a puter is mocking me. Ouch! I think complaining. Twenty minutes out of my busy bit. Hell, I can microwave that that's some kind of arm lock. It It's the most spiteful time of the childhood schedule. Now that we're imagination if I have to. Then you hurts. They're trying to drag me year. If the minions of evil have a in university, we can obviously some notes while waiting for the get a hot, fresh, extremely tasty away. Must finish typing. holiday season, you can bet this is it. loosen up a bit and just glance over kettle to boil. imagination, one that people would Clark! Bail me out... * il Another reward *2§d *M of higher ■%, education... mi _» Get $750 towards the purchase or lease of any new GM vehicle. |LJ|

theCord November 20,1996 3 (News)- Maclean's Publishes Annual Rankings KATHERINE HARDING library, and reputation. Maclean's "44% of universities had lower bud- In the future, Dwyer commented Cord News also surveys 3,400 high-school guid- gets than last year, and that number that Maclean's is attempting to Oil November 18, Maclean's annual ance counselors, academic adminis- will climb when the 15% cut incorporate controversial "output university rankings issue hit the trators, and CEOs of major corpora- kicks in." measures" into their university newsstands. This highly anticipated tions across to judge schools Dwyer added that the number of ranking. These include providing issue traditionally sells more than on the basis of their reputation for: tenured professors teaching first statistics on student satisfaction, six times the number of typical highest quality, most innovative, year classes, the number ofstudents employment rates, and student Maclean's issues. leaders of tomorrow, arid best over- attending universities out of rankings of their schools. This year, the University of all. province, and the rate of students This issue is the sixth edition of (Medical/Doctoral), Simon Victor Dwyer, Maclean's graduating are all decreasing. Maclean's university rankings. It Fraser University (Comprehensive), Education Editor, stated that the However, universities are increasing also marks the first time in four and Mount Allison University issue, "is so successful because of its the amount of money they allocate years that all English speaking uni- (Primarily Undergraduate) took top original and assessable data." to scholarships and bursaries. versities have participated. The honours in their respective cate- Dwyer also commented that the Dwyer identified this as the ranking, which has been plagued by gories. university issue has helped to iden- "American phenomena," and controversy in the past, is still boy- The rank is a compilation of tify growing trends in post-sec- added, "as tuition is increasing, uni- cotted by several French-speaking each university's data on their stu- ondary education in Canada. He versities are supporting students universities. dent body, classes, faculty, finances, identified that, due to cutbacks, who do well or are in need." Laurier Still Ranks at the Top

LLONELLA GILBERT seems for Laurier, according to get is spent on library acquisitions, many lower ranking universities exams than do students at any other Cord News Arthur Stephen, Acting Vice and how many alumni support the have been getting fewer applications Canadian university, CO-OP students Maclean's has once again President: University Advancement, institution. from prospective students. have the highest first time pass rate, ranked Wilfrid Laurier fourth over- "Universities will have differing Much of the information At the same time, there are stu- and the admissions standards are all in the "Primarily Undergraduate" opinions about the Maclean's survey, Maclean's provides was not avail- dents who realize that the informa- very high. category in their annual Universities partly determined by where they able before the magazine started tion is useful only to a certain extent As useful as it is to have Laurier Ranking Issue. ranked on the survey, and no one doing the rankings. But Stephen and more research should be done listed as a top university, it is impor- To some, this might hardly be can automatically say that one uni- notes, "It becomes simplistic to rank when looking for a good university. tant that these rankings not be the surprising as Laurier has consistent- versity is better than another based universities from 1 to 20 or 1 to 10, As for Laurier using the informa- only consideration when evaluating ly ranked well in each of the previ- on the Maclean's issue alone." knowing that each university has tion to its advantage, Mr. Stephen universities. ous special issues. The Public Maclean's Universities Ranking different characteristics and differ- said that Laurier uses Maclean's to a The university is proud of its Relations office at Laurier co-ordi- Issue answers questions such as the ent kinds of mission statements certain extent, but has a good repu- achievement, and as students, we nates the university's responses average entering grades for stu- which are not measured some- tation regardless. should be proud, too. Hopefully we'll which make up the 20 categories dents, class sizes, the number of times." According to Stephen, it is well move up a spot and take number Maclean's evaluates each year. professors at a university with The issue has a definite impact known that Laurier's business stu- three next year. However, as good as this news PHD's, what percentage of the bud- on upcoming university students; dents periuiin beuer on accounting WLUSU's New Position Filled

SARAH PAPPLE According to Joel Lynn, the seems to be the mail. The Operating Procedures both internally and externally, Cord News Manager of Business Operations, in The Manager of Business Agreement is being renewed in two should bode well for students in the Dan Dawson became the Manager comparison to the General Manager, Operations, according to Dawson, ye;irs. This agreement governs the future. of Business Operations for the is a more "people-based" position. needs the following: "The goal is to relationship between the Student's The needs of the students, in Student's Union on November 18th, Lynn explained, "It used to be heavi- have someone who has a good, solid Union and the University. Liquor combination with "the best value for 1996. Not only is Dan new to this ly focused on the building and turn- working knowledge of our opera- license access, student discipline, their dollar," will be Dawson's over- position, this position is new to the ing around [of] finances. tions, in addition to having a solid food services agreements, as well as all focus. Student's Union. Now that these two things are working relationship with students." other operations which give the stu- Both Lynn and Dawson see the The position of General Manager under control, the focus is on peo- With seven years of experience in dents a 'voice,' are outlined in the Student's Union as being financially was made redundant, and reformed ple, so we needed a 'people person' the Students Union, Dawson should agreement. stable. Their concentration will now into this new position. to work on the internal structure." have both these aspects covered. According to Lynn, the empha- be on the people, which is us, the Why was this position redefined, With qualities Lynn described as, The future of the Students Union sized focus on human relations, students. and what does the new job encom- "strong, vibrant, young, excitable, will be directly affected by Dawson's pass? intelligent, and sensitive," Dawson actions. LET A PSYCHIC ANSWER ® YOUR QUESTIONS! I ACURA I EXT 4321 Designed with puipose. 1-900-451-3555 Driven by passion. $2.99 PER MIN. 18 YRS + Your cap's home away from home. SERVICE by Factory Trained Technicians IMSI *Ask about our customer appreciation card Genuine ACURA PARTS FAIRVIEW ACURA 2685 Kingsway Drive, Kitchener 519-893-9000 ride to UofW/Laurier available http://www.autorev.com/fairviewacura

4 November 20, 1996 theCord -(News) Registrar: Service With a Smile?

KATHERINE HARDING I wonder if, by writing this arti- Twenty minutes later, you are once tion of post-secondary education, hike for us (at almost any other uni- Cord News Commentary cle: a) my transcript is going to mys- again a proud Golden Hawk in sec- the administration of WLU has versity such a short distance is a Making the trek to 202 Regina, only teriously "disappear" and I'm even- ond, third, tenth year... whatever begun charging fees for administra- blessing). However, it's a hike that to be treated like a major inconve- tually going to have to enter a wit- major you want. It's better than tive services. we probably make about four or nience by the staff, is not exactly a ness relocation program; and b) a having to tell your parents that, no, One example is the $5 fee for a five times a year. I wonder how new story. However, why are barrage of administrators and you weren't kicked out of school, new registration form; you know, many employees at the Office of the Laurier students so complacent receptionists are going to criticize you, umm, forgot to, uhhh, send in the little pink sheets that are totally Registrar have had to trek over to aboutreceiving horrible service? my article as being "unfair and your... ahhh, registration form? mangled by January from all of the main campus department on a win- I'm not claiming that every expe- unsubstantiated." However, if even The Office of the Registrar add/drop forms stapled to it. The try Waterloo afternoon. (Brrrr!) rience I've had at the Registrar's just one secretary empathizes with receives a lot of crap. As anyone collection of these fees is the respon- So the next time you are ticked Office has been negative, but they my plight, I will have succeeded. who has had to work with the public sibility of the Office of the Registrar. off about having to stand in line for clearly outweigh the positive ones. I'm not expecting cartwheels, red can relate, there are a lot of weir- How many of us have asked, "Why twenty minutes at the Office of the Two weeks ago I barely flinched carpet treatment, and a band every does out there. Everyone thinks to is there a charge for this?" as if the Registrar, don't take it out on the when, after questioning a reception- time I go there, but common cour- him/herself that he/she is not one of people that work there have any person behind the desk. If you and ist as to why a form letter was going tesy and a smile would be a wel- those people. control over these charges. the 40 people standing in line with to cost me $10, she snidely retorted, comed and refreshing change. A big part of the problem that Also, many students have found you had gotten your $@#! together "Because it does. Do you want the many people have with the Office of their applications for OSAP denied earlier in the semester, none of you letter or not?" I tried to justify why I the Registar probably comes from this year due to cutbacks. Guess would be there now. could possibly be receiving such the unsavory duties that the employ- who gets to break that news to des- At that point, if there is one consistently poor service. ees have to complete. Think of the perate, money-strapped students? thing all ofyou can agree on, it's that Unfortunately, I could only come up rotten jobs the people at the Office Everyone complains that the all of you wish that you weren't with some pretty weak arguments: ofthe Registrar have to perform. Office of the Registrar has been there. #1 When the receptionists were With all the cuts to the subsidiza- moved to 202 Regina, which is a hired by the university, they had no idea they'd be working with stu- dents - it's news to them; "Hey, this wasn't in the brochure!" #2 They really do believe that their salaries are paid by some kind LORI DYSIEVICK fairy in a far off land. Cord News Commentary #3 Due to cutbacks and tight eco- You are basking on the beach dur- nomic times, their workload and ing Labour Day weekend with your stress is much greater than the hometown buddies, enjoying your average student facing the same sit- last few days of summer freedom, uation. when your memory kicks in. You #4 They are just having a bad day forgot to send in your registration (everyday). formfor the summer. #sTheir job is harder than it looks. Perhaps your dog/little I'm not trying to be facetious or brother/pet iguana ate it. Maybe you mean-spirited, but the level of ser- left it somewhere in your best vice is unacceptable and unjustifi- friend's cousin's girlfriend's brother's able. I'm tired of being treated like cottage during that weekend that a someone is doing me a favour or you really don't remember too is settling a personal vendetta with much of. Or better yet, you put it in me. I hate feeling like I've somehow an envelope, stamped it, sealed it, Jlj failed as a basic human being and left it on top of your bureau. because I don't know the exact pro- When all else fails, your mom threw This white space comes I'ree with your issue of the Cord. cedure for dropping a course. It is it out with all the junk mail. like the receptionists think that we Whatever the case, the clerk at are born with innate knowledge the Office of the Register shakes her regarding every administrative pro- head, smiles softly, and says, cedure at laurier? "What's your ID. number?" Bingo! ,'JL Westmount newsbites y ~ Place Travel agency marked by a Canadian company to iJrOC-» »«. provide scholarships for Canadian <-|> warning students who wish to travel abroad. KATHY CAWSEY 150 fellowships of $10,000 each will • Cord Newsbite be awarded in the next five years to k j 1 FASHION Mini Car Collectibles 888-9932 Reading week is an important time Canadian students who wish to ] Sarah's Classics* 746-1822 Radio Shack • 885-5910 ofyear for travel companies to cap- study internationally. I: Lindar* 746-3117 MALL MANAGEMENT OFFICE • 886-6260 ture students' dollars. However, "The timing was right for Zacl

In • • addition, residences or student sonal suitability, and commitment to j ? Greenbacks 725-0293 Meissner Travel 886-7570 union offices cannot be used for the internationalization. The House • 886-8031 Outlet • 886-7670 purposes II Leather Postal of • the travel company or its Applications are available from Hearts & Flowers 886-6410 Dentist • marketers. 11 Dr. Fichter 884-0887 study/work abroad offices or from S Smithßooks • 884-551 1 Farah Foods • 725-2375 I Celanese Incorporated. Information |1 Do you want can be obtained on the internet at — —ill , ERB ST. http://www.cbie.ca or e-mail at w" ni $10,000? [email protected] Wfestmount Road (North at Erb) —|~ KATHY CAWSEY Cord Newsbite UNIVERSITY AVE •5 million WATERLOO dollars has been ear- llffill . . - atjpf

theCord November 20,199' INTERNATIONAL French 101-Native Tongue An exchange student's thoughts ofCanada AURELIE JAVELLE brave to do that! I would never comical situations that occur to the cups of coffee at Tim they are reputed to be. I have never International Cord dare!" people say with a small sor- because ofthe differences.Take soci- Hortons's (Okay, we don't have Tim heard as often about the French kiss Imagine a beach, the sun, the sea, rowful smile. etal customs: a Canadian guy who Hortons in France, but work with since I've been here. In France, we the south of France. It is mid- It is not difficultfor us because in was in France saw a French boy me!) do not speak about it, we just do it! November and people are still bene- Europe we receive all the North kissing a French girl (Ah, French When we arrived on the Laurier It is pleasant to see that, when fitting from the last few days of hot American culture: yes, we know lovers...), fifteen minutes later, he campus, we felt like first years. you speak about France that same weather. Phone call from Canada: who Madonna is (don't laugh, an saw the same boy kissing another During the first week, we were lost things are always appearing: Paris, "You're on the beach! But here it's American girl asked me this ques- girl (Woo, French lovers!). No, they like them, but with a foreign lan- fashion, the Riveria, sex, etc.. Even snowing!" Cultural Shock! tion), we speak your language (I weren't his girlfriends, but just our guage surrounding us, which was in my advertising classes, France is I'm sure your wondering how mean we try...) at the opposite of way ofsaying hello. compounded by a time difference. shown as an example of a place foreign students deal with that? No? you, who don't even try to say three As soon as I arrived, I had the A common point solving all our where you can find porn clubs and Really? At least one time in your life words even if you've been learning impression to be in a movie. It can problems are parties! We have to TV channels. Yes, we are romantic; be curious and read this. French for 10 years. We have be explained by the quantity of save our reputation and show you yes, we are lovers; yes, we are free It is really difficult to generalize McDonald's and the Paris has the North American films and soap- we can also have fun. In Rennes, with sex. Aren't you? comparisons, but because I'm from highest concentration of Pizza Huts. operas received in Europe. Some of we are alcohol-oriented. It just As a conclusion, I would just say; France, let's talk about it. Not The most difficult thing is dealing us think we are losing our culture. shows how having fun crosses the go abroad! Even if you think that because I'm biased, but rather to with the image you have of Europe. It has been said that, "as soon as miles, and allows for integration. you are the best in the world. By reveal what surprised me when I Instead of asking questions you are your losing your language, your los- People are always asking me if travelling, you will collect arguments arrived in your country. persuaded that Europe is a prehis- ing your identity." the French are as sex-oriented as to know who you really are. Actually, it's really cool to be a toric place. During Halloween, a Things are both the same and foreign student:, everybody is nice to Canadian guy was surprised by the different between Canada and you (except your teacher: "You have fact that we don't have it in France. France: the content is the same, but good ideas, but badly expressed. B-" He was so sure that we celebrated it the structure is different. It is the lit- Thanks!). People are always saying, that he didn't even ask, and just tle things... in France the largest "Oh, you come from France! Are acted as if I knew it. I'm not laugh- highway we have is six lanes, here you homesick? Oh, you're really ing at you, but there are a lot of six lanes is a common little highway. There are also a lot of classical dif- ferences comparing food. Despite the fact we do not have Tim Horton's in France, we still eat well. I have also experiences how a prod- uct can taste different depending on the country is it distributed in. The first gum I tried here tasted like medicine, now I've become a Canadian gum addict. The concept oftime is also differ- GREYHOUND'S ent in France. Hey girls! Ifyou go to France and date a French guy, do SPECIAL FLYLOW FARES not be ready for a date at 6pm and HOME get upset because he is late-we are WILL GET YOU Latin, so we eat later than you. Your THIS HOLIDAY. lunch time is our tea time. Actually, the first thing that really surprised me when I arrived on EDMONTON#**^ **» OTTAWA VANCOUVER were (and % TORONTO campus, the squirrels KELOWNA® —•HAMILTON even rabbits) everywhere. CALGARY WINNIPEG Universities in France are in cities without any green space, but only Now you can ask for a real present. Not an shabby grass. Therefore, except for expensive airline ticket. Greyhound Air's FlyLow® the birds, nature is restricted! One fares are making sure you can be home with friends of the great advantages of Canada, PHOTO is the nature. Trees, grass and and family for the holidays.You simply won't find squirrels! Everywhere! Also, com- a cheaper fare during the holiday season and it's FILE pared to is France, everything big- not too late to book. One of the few universal languages ger: from space between buildings, Hamilton HOLIDAY FLYLOW to: RETURN FARES FROM: Winnipeg $149 Yukon: Canada's lastfrontier Calgary $ I 99 Edmonton $ 199 RAY SCHMIDT protected areas. of the Peel river which eventually Kelowna $ 199 Cord International Having played a key role in creat- flows into the mighty MacKenzie and The Yukon conjures up images of ing the Tatshenshini-Alsek then the Arctic Ocean. Along with Vancouver $ I 99 endless tracts of pristine wilderness, Wilderness preserve in the north- being ecologically fragile areas, they pure water, abundant wildlife, and west corner of 8.C., he is now focus- are also important aboriginal lands. These fares available for travel between Nov. 2 - Dec. 17/96. Other holiday fares are available. fresh air. Last Thursday at a UW lec- Mining activity could quickly pollute ture, conservationist and adventurer, rivers and destroy shrinking wildlife Plus, if you need a bus connection from Kelowna, Ken Madsen ofWhitehorse shed habitat. in some light on this false image. What Madsen and his compatri- Hamilton or Ottawa, Greyhound Air will throw Having explored many ofthe wilder- ots have set-up is a "Stake the the bus ticket to a variety of destinations. Our lines to ness rivers in the Yukon, Madsen Snake" campaign. This is an effort are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week so call presented a pictorial glimpse into the stake 'mineral claims' in as many and have wonderful Greyhound holiday. impending environmental exploita- areas around the Snake river to pro- today a tion by mining interests ofthe last tect the land from further develop- remaining Canadianfrontier. ment. With the help of donations, his In his slide presentation, Madsen SHMIDT group physically goes into unstaked juxtaposed the majestic images of the territory to lay claim to the land, pro- territory, wildlife, and wildlands, with RAY tecting it from the hands of mining some key photos of places where Yukon's Blackstone river trav- companies. GREYHOUND AIR™ mining activities were taking place. els through rugged terrain. For more information about how you For Madsen and the "Yukon can stake a claim on the Snake River Wildlands Project#now is the time to ing on an area further north in the and preserve valuable wildlands, tnu nd preserve more land in the Yukon: the Wind, Snake and Bonnet email the writer at: schm YuKn-a territory greatly lacking in Plume Rivers. These are tributaries 7830@mach l.wlu.ca. Air Service operated by KELOWNA FLIGHTCRAFT

6 November 20, 1996 theCord OPINION

Editorial Give a hoot! You know what really burns my ass? On Tuesday evenings I'm at the Cord working until 3:00 or 4:00 am. Comes with the job ofproduction manager, so I can't complain, but my problem is with you. Maybe not 'you,' as in the per- son reading this article right now, but the general student body 'you.'

WEEKLY When I'm here late on Tuesday evenings, there is usually no one in the TV lounge, so I like to sneak out every so the Cord often to watch a little TV. However, when I go to sit down on the couch, I find a candy bar wrapper underneath me or I kick over a bottle at my feet. I really find it hard to enjoy the lounge when there are heaps of garbage sur- rounding me. Halfthe couches are littered with candy bar wrappers, there are coke bottles on the ground and bits "The tie that binds since 1926" of paper all over. It annoys me so much that I usually end up cleaning up the mess you leave. Why? Because I feel responsible for that lounge, since I am a student of WLU and because it's my lounge, or rightfully, OUR lounge. My question is, why is this garbage left? Is it hard for you to walk to the garbage can and throw it out? I know that a brisk walk of almost five feet can tire some people out, but not many. So what's the excuse people? Why the Ewuisp^ mess? The most common excuse I've heard is the one heard in fast food restaurants everywhere: "People get paid to clean that up." Sure, people get paid to pick it up, but that wastes their time when they could be doing something more important. It takes ten seconds out of your life to walk to the garbage can and deposit your waste. On aver- age it takes me ten minutes to clean up all the garbage you have left when I could be doing something more impor- A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication tant, like finishing offthe Cord thatyou now hold. I guess my problem is not just with the garbage, but with the students' attitude in general towards OUR Student 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 Union Building. We are privileged to have this building available to us 24 hours a day, seven days a week. So ifthis (519) 884-1970 ext. 3564 wonderful building is open to us all the time, why do we treat it like garbage? I was in Wilfs the other day and saw Fax: (519) 884-7723 Security walking across the courtyard, holding the remains of a chair that used to be in the TV lounge. I had to (519) Advertising: 884-1970 ext. 3566 wonder what drunken moron decided it was cool to destroy one of the chairs and throw it outside? Oh, it doesn't stop there. What about the Hawk's Nest logo or the portrait of our school in the lounge? Both were stolen by some- "Hmm, me thinks me CD has a scratch... one that had nothing better to do with their time. of vandalism that has to this building three here but I'm cer- Perhaps it was when it fell out of my car." I've lost count of the acts happened over my years tain of one thing: Each time you leave your trash behind or vadalize this building; it costs us money. We own this -Mike Vencel building and pay for it through our student fees. The extra ten minutes the cleaning staff takes each day to clean Editorial Board up your mess adds up over 365 days a year. Plus, how much do you thing it costs to replace a chair, a picture or a Editor-in-Chief Melanie Seal logo? Offhand I'd say quite a bit. With governmentcutbacks already threatening to raise our tuition, do you think News Editor Tom Hrubes we can afford to pay extra for cleaning, repairs and replacements to our building? No. Or at least I can't. Associate News Editor Lori Dysievick To finish up my little preaching session, I'd like to conclude on this note. There's been talk of locking the SUB Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter after a certain time. I think this is an excellent idea. Sure, it won't get rid of the garbage problem, that's up to you. Assistant Entertainment Editor Robin Whittaker What it would do is curb the incidents of vandalism and therefore cut costs down for us. Personally, I think we've Sports Editor Greg Chownyk used up our privilege of having this building open 24 hours; let's see ifwe can live without it. Assistant Sports Editor Jim Donnelly Editorial by Mike Vencel, Production Manager Features Editor Ann-Marie Smith The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those ofthe Cord Staff, the edito- Publications. Life Editor Ann Huskinson rial board, or WilfridLaurier University Student Production Manager Mike Vencel Cord Staff Production Assistants Sarah Hollands Colleen Nicholson Future Apprehensions Mike Caesar Tina Tarn Classified Coordinator Patricia Lancia BILL GOFF Everyone goes through public shouldn't I be happy? Well, I sup- Copy Editors Christina Mogk CORD OPINION school, and high school and I've pose I am, but I also feel much more Megan Atkinson I am presently in my final year of always had this expectation of uncertain as to where my life is International Coordinator Katherine Harding university. I feel as though I've myself to complete some sort of uni- going. In light of the new challenges Student Publications Staff accomplished a great deal here at versity degree, but what now? I sup- facing my future, I realize that life Laurier. I have made some good pose that I never gave life beyond has not been as difficult as I imag- Photo Manager Marion Hensel friends, managed to maintain a school much thought. There is a ined it was in the past. Crises such Photo Technicans Steve Williams decent, ifnot respectable, GPA, and 1 vague idea in the back of my mind as: Kraft dinner or pizza; one more Joanne Spadafora can safely say that stress has rarely about a significant other, a cool car beer, or a pitcher? Art Director Jeremy Kerr gotten the better of me. I've also I was just a young capitalist Systems Administrator John Maljkovich built up an impressive immunity to larva, bred on the ideals of televi- On - Line Editor Andrew White the effects of alcohol. Why sion, when I began thinking those Advertising Manager Robert Norris Essentially then my university vague thoughts about my future. I Ad Sales Representives Nolin LeChasseur years, thus far, have been a success- should I be wasn't worried about phrases such Rebecca Shropshire ful experience. What do I mean by as "twenty to life", or "maximum Ad Manager Dannielle Production Chartrand successful? Well, each year when I security". Don't get me wrong, I Ad Production Assistant Megan Barnard nervous? look back at myself at the beginning know that money doesn't spell hap- Sandra Cunha ofthe year and compare that person piness, but the last four years may Gregory English I with who I am now, I am impressed am a have offered a glimpse of the oppor- Andrew Warrack with the sense that I have managed tunities education has to offer. My Atheletic Advertising Manager Pete Robinson to better myself in some way. reasonably time at university has also taught Administration Keeping all this in mind, I wonder me that finances are going to be an why I am so apprehensive about intelligent important concern, at least for the President Laurie Legault what I will be doing next year. Why foreseeable future. VP of Finance Kevin MacDonald should I be nervous? I am reason- With reality looming ever closer VP of Operations David Janzen a person... I to the horizon, I feel myself Public Relation Manager Michelle Love ably intelligent person, seem on looming Board of Directors Shayne IJdkea have been able to handle things so and a nice place, but how am I closer to Wilfs. I am looking forward Beth Costelec Jen Clarke far. I should be boldly trekking into going to buy this car? How am I to moving on, but for the first time in Christine Gergich Ryan Lock the unknown with more than a going to afford a nice place (prefer- my life, 1 have very little idea of water), Domenico Magisano prayer that I won't end up at home ably by the or fill the vacan- where or how 1 am supposed to con- next year until sometime in my late cy of a significant other, without an tinue. This is really weird, I mean, so The Cord will not print anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature, as deemed by the staff as a voting thirties. impressive, (preferably upwardly what about mid-life crisis, if I reach body. The Cord will not print anything in violation of its Code of Ethics, outlined in The Cord Constitution. Cord With this fear in mind, I am mobile) professional career? mid-life, and I'm even remotely suc- subscription rates are $20.00 per term for addresses within Canada. The Cord is printed by CanWeb Printing. All commentary is strictly the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect that of the Cord staff, the editorial beginning to understand why so At this point, I begin to realize cessful, I feel as though I ought to board, or WLU Pubb'cations. many people continue with post- what a material child I must have have a mid-life celebration.

graduate educations. Besides part- been. The few classes I have found I just too much - Contributors: Ray Schmidt, David Duchovny, Simon Isbister, Aurelie Javelle, Maybe worry Kathryn Van Schick, Sara Tliite, "industrial" not "dance" music, Thorn Ryan, time work, academics are all I interesting have reaffirmed the this might not be worse than public The Lone Gunmen, Christine Ichim, Lynn Pauli, Randy Waechter, Scott know; school is all 1 have ever done. notion that my life shouldn't be cen- school anxiety. I should be alright: 0 Hara, Dana Sculley, Mike McKenna, Sarah Sigurdsson, Dan Kerr, various I am not saying that continuing with tred around completing some mate- I'm a reasonably smart guy, I can Coca-Cola products, Caesar Martini, Viviene Salmon, Eric Henry, James simple matter, but the rialistic agenda. So, Eaton, Jennifer education is a because univer- peel the whole label off the bottle... Martin, Sean Moore, Dave MacGrav, Sarah Papple, Kathy from school has Cawsey, Llonella Gilbert, Tom Fuke, Amanda Stocks, larger green men, transition to a career of sity offered new choices con- maybe they will have a pizza night Danny Clinche, Jenn Ferguson, Nicole Brandon, Linda Lippert, the Collective some sort will be strange. cerning the possibilities in my life, in prison. ooul CD, Wilfs files, endless accounting definitions, and a few cashed in tavours. The Cord their weeks in does not support those who write essays i Mm advance, to watch the layer of dust cover them while their writers work "***BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB feverishly on other essays. Rather the Cord salutes those who pay homage to | V""" the mighty all-nighter, finishing their essays with the help of an extensive rou- tine ofcaffeine and sugar intake, only to put their paper in their profs office moments before the deadline. It is a highly tuned skill, not to be taken lightly. '

.... jf.',, if next week's £sue- theCord November 20, T996 7 STUDENTLIFE Rollerblading for life ChristineIchim's quest to save her mother

ANN HUSKINSON team in the direction of immuno- terminally ill leukemia patients in Cord Student Life therapy, using the immune system the hopes of finding a cure, the ICHIM "Terry Fox had a dream. Now to attack leukemia. A lot of dedica- group needed to raise $300,000. it's up to me, up to my genera- tion and hard work in the library Realizing that this was a large sum CHRISTINE tion, up to my Canada to carry and their basement laboratory led of money which would be difficult to OF on and find the cure... I know to another gold medal, this time at raise, Christine decided that she that I cannot heal all of the the Canada Wide Science Fair. They would rollerblade across Canada to world's pain, but I know I must then went on to represent Canada spread the message and obtain sup- try, and I must begin by curing at the 1995 International Science port. COURTESY my mother's cancer... I dream and Engineering Fair (ISEF), where After attaining sponsorship from that there will come a day they won fourth place. numerous corporations, Christine PICTURE when children will not have to The pair started working with and Dr. Smith developed the cry themselves to sleep or Dr. Lisa Smith, an immunotoxicolo- Canadian Cure Campaign in the mourn the scars of cancer. gist at the University of Guelph. hopes of raising an overall total of When I was thirteen, I They devised novel treatments and $5 million dollars, with $300,000 promised myself that, along ideas to cure leukemia, including re- going towards the pilot study. with my brother, I would not engineering the body's own immune "I'm not just doing it for my let my mother die." cells to recognize and fight cancer. mother, I'm doing it for all Christine at the end of her cross-Canada skate in St. John's, Nfld These are the words of Christine Together the trio founded a non- Canadians," said Christine. Ichirn, an 18-year old from profit organization called the Batu Although the trek was a difficult once again re-united. The sun was happy to once again be with her Kitchener whose mother is suffering Center for Leukemia Research, one, people like Peter Jang, a 15 shining; Florica smiled and said family. from leukemia. From May to named after Christine and Thomas' year old with acute lymphoblastic that the weather was too beautiful Christine has certainly done her October of 1996, Christine mother, Florica Batu Ichim. Florica leukemia, urged her on: "I wish you to think about dying. pail in finding a "Canadian cure for rollerbladed from Victoria, B.C. to was supposed to die 5 years ago, but so much luck. God is with you." Although discouraged by obsta- a global disease... Not only do I want St. John's, Newfoundland in an she began using an experimental During Christine's journey, she cles that lay in her path, mostly that to help cure cancer, but I want to effort to raise $300,000 for drug called interferon, which is pro- skated up to 150 kilometres per day. under $50,000 had been raised by etch into the heart of Canada that leukemia research. duced naturally by the body to aid "I have tendinitis in both ankles and the time she rolled into the the 'Big C' does not have to stand for When Christine was 10 and her the immune system. "My mother I'm in a lot of pain every day," Kitchener-Waterloo area, Christine cancer; it can stand for cure!" brother Thomas was 12, their had leukemia and was going to die Christine said. "It feels like my kept going by thinking about her With her strength, charisma, and mother was diagnosed with and there was no hope for her, " ankles are going to snap off. But I'm mother back home. "My mother beautiful smile, Christine has leukemia. In a quest to help their explained Thomas. "Then she start- doing this to show people that you told me, 'If you make it, I'll make it.' become an inspiration to all and has dying mother, the siblings read ed getting interferon treatments and can overcome any obstacle. I want She also said she's gaining strength touched the hearts of Canadians everything they could find concern- she's been alive for eight years." to give people hope, inspire them." through mine." nationwide. Won't you let her touch ing the dreaded blood disease. However, Florica's leukemia is At one point in the journey, Although she had mono for the yours? Three years later, their research led now worse than ever and something Florica travelled to to last two weeks of her trip, Christine Donations can be sent to the

to a gold medal at a Regional must soon be done - she has been greet her daughter. Christine had managed to reach her destination in Canadian Cure Campaign, 339 Science Fair. Continued research living on "borrowed time" for sever- said, "my biggest fear is wondering mid-October: St. John's, Windermere Rd., London, Ontario, and interaction with doctors and al years now. In order to conduct a if I will ever see my mother again." Newfoundland. She is now back in N6A SAB. researchers led the brother-sister pilot study on Florica and two oilier But mother and daughter were Kitchener, tired and worn out, yet On the road again Student Budget Menu Stuffed green peppers CHRISTINE ICHIM may be old but at least they don't I really wish that I could take a LYNN PAULI

Cord Student Life have any mould on them. day off and just sleep - no skating, Cord Student Life The annoying buzz of a mosqui- I'm miles away from civilization; no soliciting, no interviews, but I to rings in my ear. "Oh, why can't no variety stores or hot showers for block out the thoughts because I 4 green peppers you let me sleep?" I must have at least a couple of hours by in-line know it's impossible. killed about 30 of them throughout skate. Along the way, people honk and 8 oz. mushrooms, washed and sliced the night. I open my eyes. Where We were late last night. Ex- wave. I try to smile and wave back, ami? hausted from skating all day, we but my hands feel so heavy and I 1 box Uncle Ben's minute herb and 1 squint as the raising sun beams decided to pitch our tent at the side feel slightly dazed. I think about my down on the suitcases beneath me. of the road to save time and money. mother and I empathize with her. 1 spice rice 0h... I sigh as it all comes back to I slept in the van on top of the suit- try to look at the brighter side - at me. No, I'm not home, that was cases because I was too cold in the least my mother is still alive. Wow, 1 tin tomato juice only a dream. I'm sleeping in a tent. imagine struggling like this for eight BRANDON mosquito-infested van thousands of I gargle some mouthwash, years. 1 tin niblet corn, kilometres away. Away from my throw my skates on, stretch and I'm And now it's crunch time. My family, my sick mother, my bed and on the road. Exhausted, I keep mother's leukemia is worse than drained NICOLE my guinea pig. Oh boy, I guess it's plugging away at it, step by step. I ever, and we need to raise $300,000 time to get going. look at the rough road ahead. It to save her life. I think about my 1/2 lb. Cheddar PICTURE: I slowly crawl out of the van. looks like tar with chips thrown on mom and 1 begin to cry. What more Ouch! My whole body is in pain. I top. can I possibly do? cheese, grated try to take a step, but I lie down on The wind is strong, arid natural- It's getting dark now I managed the grass instead. My head is spin- ly blowing in my face... again. to finish my scheduled miles for the ning. My muscles are full ofkinks Ouch! My blisters sting so bad that day We find a nice spot at the side and knots, and the tendinitis in my each stride feels like stepping on of the road. The guys get out the Cook the rice as directed on the box ankles has never felt this bad burning coals. butane burner and cook some hot- before. How am I ever going to I try to think of other things. I dogs. but substitute tomato juice for the make it? But thinking about it remember a dream from last night. As awful as they tasted, half required water. Stir frequently. Saute doesn't help. I just have to look fear I was at home. I ran to the fridge cooked on stale buns, I ate them in the eye and go do it. If only it was and it was frill of food: cold cuts, ice with great delight. I spread muscle the mushrooms until cooked. Mix rice, that easy. cream, milk, cake... but the pain rub over my back and swear that 1 I reach into the van to get break- from my feet brings me back to have to find a physiotherapist who mushrooms and corn. fast. We have stale hot-dog buns, reality. I stop for a break and lie wouldn't mind camping with us Clean out the green peppers and slice dry cereal (no milk, of course), and down in the ditch at the side of the across Canada. mixture. ranch dip. I grab the buns; they road. them in half. Stuff with rice Pour remaining tomato juice over the Cord Student Life. peppers and cover. Bake at 375 F for You're a student... approximately 20 minutes. Check fre- quently. It's about your life. Submit.

8 November 20,1996 theCord {Student Life) Old man winter rears his ugly head

KATHARYN VAN SCHAIK AND in half the time. No skates? Don't the bathroom. Those extra layers their faces you'll see for awhile. dents during their forty minute walk SARAH TUITE worry, they're not necessary. Your can eat up the better part of half an 13. For a quick and inexpensive to class. Cord Student Life shoes will be fine for sliding across hour. haircut, go outside with wet hair. 16. Finally, do not, no matter how that big sheet of ice they call Laurier 8. Start collecting your cafeteria When it freezes, just snap it off. tempting it is, lick frozen metal (such Like an uninvited guest that campus. trays. Who the hell do you think 14. Thank God you're not on Foot as poles, railings, spoons, etc.). won't go away, he has returned with 2. Watch the weather channel and brought a toboggan? Patrol (you poor, poor Footies). a vengeance and earlier than laugh. Thank God you don't go to 9. Build an anatomically correct 15. Throw snowballs at UW stu- Happy trails Laurier! expected. You thought you'd have Lakehead. snowman, or for the politically cor- time to prepare. You thought this 3. Snuggle up with your flavour of rect, a person of snow. time you'd be ready for him. But the month and reduce those heating 10. Master the art of small talk; i.e. alas, he's outsmarted you again. bills. get rid ofit - it's too cold to chat. He's long and hard and shows no 4. Invest in a black toque, ideally 11. Overdose on Clementines. They mercy. Wake up, honey - Old Man one with a face mask. If OSAP make it all worthwhile and remem- Winter has arrived prematurely and doesn't come through, it can come ber you've only got about another it looks like he's here to stay - well, in handy in the pursuit of a supple- month before they're out of season. SCHMIDT at least for another 6 months. mentary income. After all, we are Besides, the mesh can double as a RAY We figure there's not much we surrounded by banks. Come on, face mask in the robbery scam can do about it, so why not loosen they're practically begging for it. mentioned above. up and make the best ofit. Here are 5. Chapstick - Never leave home 12. Learn to recognize your friends' PICTURE: some tips for going steady with the without it. 'Nuffsaid. eyes - that may be the only part of Here's to another 6 months of frozen ground and bare trees Old Man. Take it from a couple of 6. Learn how to get to your classes girls who know, there's more to Old walking backwards. Windburn Man Winter than a pile of snow. doesn't exactly do wonders for your complexion. 1. Sleep in - you can skate to class 7. Give yourself lots of time to go to Haackaerf Naff I OutSpoken 0 /ear Anniversary

THOM RYAN sexual culture treats bisexualism as Sunday, November 24th, 2:00 pm Cord Student Life internalized homophobia. One would think that bisexuals would be Bi-Ology more acceptable in gay culture, if Bouckaert 24hr lounge S only because gay people would According to the Kirtsey scale, more intimately understand the sexuality can be rated on a seven nature of oppression based on sexu- Refreshments! point scale from zero to six. Six rep- al orientation. Sadly, this is not resents the absolute homosexual always the case. and zero represents the absolute Even if one does not prescribe to fillpresent and former residents welcome! heterosexual. The Kinsey system the Kinsey system (it has its prob- suggests there is a range of varying lems), there is desperate need to degrees of sexuality in between. A clarify the reality of the situation. perfect bisexual person would be Being bisexual is not being gay or represented by a three on this .scale.' straight. It is separate and distinct, A bisexual person is often more and not to be confused with any- unlikely to express their sexuality thing else. outwardly in society, since prejudice GLOBAL (Gay, Lesbian, or against bisexual people comes from Bisexual at Laurier) meetings both the heterosexual and homo- Thursdays. For information, e-mail SPONSORED BY CULTURAL AFFAIRS sexual mainstreams. Heterosexual [email protected] or visit culture largely equates bisexualism our website at http:Wwww.wlu.caV with homosexualism, while homo- wwwclubs\www^lobalJitml 2nd

1 I CUSTOM MATTRESSES * and students All Standard Sizes Available * * fa Antique Beds Water Bed Inserts 1 1 * Foam Or Inner-Spring "Since 1 932" ; Attention To Allergies ,u RALPH DIRECT Cotton FACTORY I All Fabrics LM BEAM mon-fri 1-5:30 r-7 yS SAT 10AM-IPM / mm —~n , | 48 William St. W. Waterloo J "ion at ifo Traditional Holiday Dinner LONELY? A variety of entertainment NEED TO HEAR A SOFT, $15.25/ticket ($10.25 can be taken off with meal card) smilinSvSice??? Tickets are available NOW!

- EXT Centre Spot Concourse - Dining Hall 1-900-451-5302 3021 for info, phone 883-9150 $2.99 PER IVUN. 18YRS + theCord November2o, 1996 9 FEATURE Computers and Cyberspace Getting a dose of cybersex communication to people and dream about you last night." They always seems to lead to the lowest

places all over the world - let the would respond with "Oh really." To common denominator. Books, tele- knowledge flow. Instead, we have a which we would respond, "Well, it's vision, satellites and the Internet are FERGUSON bunch of lonely under-sexed people a little erotic, maybe we should go to all massive advances in JEN running around trying to get virtual- a private chat room." Seconds later, humankind's ability to communi- ly laid. You would think that the the electric guitar would be pulsing cate, but what do we do with it? All beautiful anonymity of Cyberspace out those smooth sensual tones. these fantastic mediums for com- PICTURE: fifteen munication have thing would lead to insightful and Inevitably, within ten to min- one in com- thoughtful discussions because utes of going on-line we could have mon: pornography, lots of pornogra- there would be nothing to lose and some girl touching us in places that phy. everything to gain in this form of felt good. See, all this stuff is fine and human interaction. In its place, we It was actually a couple of weeks dandy in responsible, small doses. have a lovely collection ofsmall talk, before anyone of us actually ven- I'm not saying we have to be serious unnaturally aggressive behavior, tured onto the Internet in search of all the time, but couldn't we all take and ofcourse, a whole lot ofsex. information (out of guilt more than life a little bit more seriously, allow Within a couple of weeks, and anything else) that did not corre- ourselves to get caught up in things far too many hours on-line, between spond to sex. If we were not cruising that matter, rather than trying at my roommates and I, we have man- the chat lines for females, we were every turn to avoid reality? This is it aged to have sex with a couple girls, cruising the net for pornography. folks. This is the only reality we got a guy who was pretending to be a Unfortunately, AOL has a lot ofblock and it is up to us to decide how we girl (last line: "ahh, gotta go, my wife features to protect the kiddies, so want to shape it and live in it. How is coming.") and a guy when we our hunt was not as fruitful as our about we create a world where were pretending to be a girl. One journeys through Netscape. On one communication is about really con- thing we have learned, no surprise, occasion, I spent hours trying to sort necting to other humans. is that women tend to write sex a lot through the mounds of information Next time you are on a chat-line, differently then men. If someone on trying to find a certain piece of aca- how about trying to make connec- Addicted to the online madness the other end of the line is fairly demic trivia only never to find it. As tions that go beyond the mundane? STERLING LYNCH Instead, what we have ended up explicit, odds are she is a he. I guess, a scientific test (yeah, right), I tried Hey, how about in everyday life, try- Cord Features with is a lot of sticky keyboards and some things never change. to find pornography. Within min- ing to make real human connec- About ten years ago, everything fell cramped upper arms. Yes, millions Also, I was surprised to learn, it utes, I was wishing that I was in a tions? It's tough, but I think it's into place that would create the of years of evolution and all the seems that the more aggressive you place a little more intimate than the worth the risk. greatest communication network in efforts of our greatest minds have are the more likely you are to get library computer lab. As a side note, if you think all the world, a communication net- lead to that particular cultural oddi- the girls into a private chat room for This whole discourse is in no this sex stulf is just a big male thing, work that could potentially change ty called, Cybersex. some loving. When I first got on, I way an attempt to encourage cen- think again. We have one woman the world for the better because all My roommates and 1 have was trying to get to know the girls, sorship of the Net. This is the last who keeps coming back for more. the peoples of the world would have recently taken advantage of AOL being nice, and all that sort of stuff. thing I want. Ifpeople want pictures In fact, we can not get rid of her. access to an abundant, unending Canada's free service offer. One of Later, a roommate demonstrated of goats in compromising positions, There's a reason, though, I'm sure. flow of information. Instant commu- the most interesting and exciting how it was done: persistent for- well, who am I to judge? However, I In the real world, when was the last

nication - FOR FREE. At last, the services that AOL provides has to be wardness. Every girl that entered a do have to criticize the broader pic- time you had sex that took almost true emancipation of all peoples! the chat lines. Here it is: free instant room would get the line, "I had a ture and this is the attitude that an hour. The computer is your friendly coffee maker

ANDREW WHITE However, I spend about 25 to 30 "his." We still don't have a stereo- fee, put it in the filter, add water and You have more applications than Cord Features hours a week minimum in front of a type for female computer addicts, sooner or later you get a nice, drink- ever and you can get data so many Vinyl is better than compact disc. computer, and browsing the world though I know they exist.) As a able cup of coffee - if you've done it different ways. Yet, your goal Playing sports is better than watch- wide web is a big part of my job. result, we personify these beige right. The process is the same for remains the same: turn data into ing sports. The difference? The computer is a boxes, making them either our the computer. You get data, put it in information. at Dating is better than 1 -976. tool, maybe an aspect of a lifestyle, deities or our demons. It's easy to the computer, manipulate it with the The next time you sit down the Real life is better than a virtual one. but not a lifestyle in and ofitself. see why it's difficult to interact with appropriate application, it comes your computer, ignore it. Ignore of This is an argument put forth by In our society the computer suf- them. out, and you end up with a nice "cybersex" and the fetishizing Don t many people who resent the com- fers from a state of extremist differ- Instead, imagine that your com- helping of usable information. computers. Don't personify. more puter. When 1 hear this and am entiation: you are either a closet puter is a coffee maker for informa- The computer is growing and say it hates you. Don't make it asked the question "is all this virtual Luddite or some variant of the tion. You've got all the variants; adapting to meet your needs as we than it is. stuff (cybersex, virtual travel, a life socially incompetent hacker who instant, drip, all the way up to those move into an increasingly informa- Treat it the same way you would focus on getting lived in front of a DOOM death- has made it to age 27 without leav- massive Krups cafe style and every- tion-centric economy. It remains, a coffee maker and match) garbage?" I have to say yes. ing his parent's house or dating (yes, thing in between. You grind the cof- however, the same old beige box. out that final result. Websites Websites with DJs, a ANDREW WHITE 'zineAveb serial done by a graphic HotWired is a companion publica- a well organized site. dance scene. Interviews by Jenn Star and Cord Features artist from with too much tion to the print magazine www.stetmagazine.com regular column Wired. events in www.testpatterns.com/test- time and too little portfolio on her Content changes daily, and ranges STET: they bill themselves as the reviews and previews of patterns/betaiounge hands. from politics (US-centric) to natural best in cutting edge fluff. Features Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver. The Beta Lounge: Every Sunday at www.coupiand.com healing. include "Junk Mail Rebuttal" and www.yahoo.ca The same jump 2pm PST the Beta Lounge broad- Douglas Couplands homepage (the www.tor-lifeline.com/ "Ask Dr. Michael, the 8 year old Yahoo! Canada: but set up to make it easy to casts some great SF Bay area DJ's epitome of wired: your own Toronto Lifeline: This site is to advice columnist." I've been reading page, Life magazine as HotWired this magazine for a while, and I still find Canadianresources. via Real Audio 3. The music is domain.) Great design, neat writing Toronto www-ai.ijs.si/eliza/eliza.html archived, so if you miss a broadcast and a Quicktime movie of "Close is to Wired. But not quite as hip. don'tknow what it's about. The old Rogerian psycho- tune in later. Personal Friend," the short made www.sharware.com http://www.io.org/-tribe/ ELIZA: you can now with a www.spray.se/~/ for the Microserfs book tour. Utilities, productivity, games and TRIBE: a super-self-aware tome analysis programme, underground web interface! The Parker Quintuplets: a fun www.hotwired.com commercial demos: they got it all in about the Canadian

10 November 20, 1996 theCord {Feature) Avoiding the internet hype

RANDY WAECHTER where in the world while sitting in many internet promoters back to number 1 of 10,000 found, I feel like all the kings men. Cord Features the comfort of his own home. the good side as I can. crying. A better way to pinpoint We definitely must not forget all Wow, do I love the internet. It's one Libraries would become obsolete, Come with me now, as we travel information searches is definitely of the colourful, graphic, take-forev- of those things I just couldn't live we would experience a true global to reality, 1996, an era where the required. er-to-download advertisements without. Yeah right, I really feel like village, the information age was internet just plain sucks. First of all, One has to consider why it takes appearing on the www either. I the distributors made a promise to upon us! 1 don't have hours to sit in front of a so long to download information don't know about anyone else, but I me that they just couldn't keep. It's Well, I haven't exactly experi- computer monitor absorbing mass from the www. Many agree it is due love advertisements, and my four happened and my question is why enced the "information age" as it quantities of electromagnetic waves to the sheer volume of "surfers" hour useless excursion on the inter-

do I feel like the world wide web just was promised as of yet. Dreamland waiting ... waiting ... waiting for who are hooking up to the internet net just wouldn't be complete with- hasn't lived up to its promise? is a nice place to visit, but one must information to be downloaded from every month. Many experts cite a out them. Come with me now as we travel be wary. For if you go, you won't the net. Anybody who tries to tell multinational internet server crash So, when it's all said and done, to dreamland, 1990, at a time when want to leave, and all you'll care you that it doesn't take that long to as an all-too-real possibility. Now, I this cat believes the internet still has every techno-pusher and their uncle about is staying in dreamland, like download information is still in don't know too much more about a long way to go before it lives up to

was declaring the www to be the so many www promoters have. As dreamland - avoid them at all costs. computers than the average literate the promise. Until then, reality greatest informational advancement someone who has been fortunate Secondly, I really don't enjoy sift- individual, but picking up the pieces dwellers, avoid dreamland at all in the history of humankind. With enough to experience dreamland ing through mass quantities of infor- after something like that will be a costs. this technology any Joe Schmoe and manage to make it back to real- mation. When I type in my search nasty, not to mention costly, job with

- - could obtain information from any- ity, I feel it is my duty to bring as word let's say ... beer only to see or without all the kings horses and Vocal Cord RANDY WAECHTER AND STERLING LYNCH Cord Features "In your opinion, does the internet live up to its hype?" photographers "Couldn't tell you, I've only experiment-

* ed with it once or twice." Wedding * Portrait Industrial % Commercial Photography

Craig Weber, for Graduates who appreciate the finest in portraits Ist year Geography

NO SITTING FEE To schedule your sitting call on graduation portraits 745-8637 Today for October and November 78 Francis St. N. (at Weber & Water) Kitchener

"What kind of stuff are you talking minimum purchase required -- not in conjunction with other about? No, it doesn't. It's too hard to offers find stuff." www.icdirect.com/ads/Forde Caleb VanWyk, 3rd year Hons. Psychology Are you a packrat? Need to unload some of your pile? "I'm computer illiterate, so I'm not familiar with the internet, but I've heard you can get a lot ofinformation."

Natacha Boulton, 3rd year Women's Studies Pbn't chock it LU.C.K. ittß!

•Donation drive is from Nov. 25 - 28. •By the Wall of Fame in the Student Union Building "No. It sucks, there's a lot of useless crap on it." •Donate old clothes, toys, ANYTHING! Steve Collins, •Donations go to needy families 3rd year Hons. Business of Kitchener-Waterloo •Brought to you by L.U.C.K. and the EnviroTeam.

/ STAMPEDE CORRM. ) r Kitchener Inc. 248 Stirling Ave. S. Kitchener, Ontario

(519) 576-5660 ®-®urier University / K.W.'s Best Live Country Rock| — CharityKouncil

theCord November 20, 1996 11 SPORTS Hockey dominates east

JIM DONNELLY but until now had only been tender Chris Fiore's first game of the Cord Sports rewarded with bad luck, finally year, laurier played a defensively Kingston. Home of some of hockey's gained some long overdue recogni- solid game while lighting up the contemporary legends.... Don tion for their hard work. Cadets for four goals through two Cherry. Doug Gilmour. Kirk Muller. Against Queen s Laurier had one periods. RMC made a valiant come-

And, now, two Laurier wins. of their best games of the year - they back effort, scoring two in the third, For the first time in almost four played hard and forced Queen's to but the Hawks were able to hang on years, the Laurier men's hockey cough up the puck in several key sit- for the win. team has come away with all four of uations. Although the score was "The roles ofour players are def- a possible four points in their annual only 1-1 after the first period, the initely starting to be defined, and trip east, improving their record to Ilawks were clearly the better team the team as a whole gained a lot of 3-4-2 with 7-3 and 4-3 victories for the entire 60 minutes. Three confidence over the weekend. Jamie over Queen's and RMC respectively. goals in each of the final two periods Janjevich and Chad Beaupre obvi- Led by forwards Jamie Janjevich for Laurier sealed the Golden Gaels' ously stood out, but the wins were a (five points) and Chad Beaupre (two fate. result of the great play of all 20 goals versus Queen's), an "overall "Our defense had, hands down, guys," said Gowing. team effort", according to head their best game of the year against Confidence is certainly what the coach Wayne Gowing, allowed the Queen's," said Gowing. "All six team will need heading into this Hawks to outscore their opposition played outstanding hockey in the week's games Thursday and 11-6. The victories catapult them neutral zone and in front of the net. Saturday at home against U of T into second place in their division It was an excellent collective effort." and Guelph, two of the OUAAs most PICTURE ahead of rivals Windsor and RMC provided more of a chal- formidable hockey powers. The FILE Western. lenge for Laurier, but their efforts puck drops at the Waterloo Rec The Laurier team, which has still were not enough to stop the Complex on Thursday at 7:30 and Geoff Schnare makes a stop against Windsor earlier this year. He played well throughout the season streaking Hawks. In backup goal- Saturday at 7:00 sharp. made more this weekend as the Hawks won twice on the road. Hawks drop a close one Loss to McMaster leaves record at 4-1

games. Each game saw Laurier tied dous inconsistency after building up this now leaves our Golden Hawks with the home squad at the 12 point the huge lead. This resulted in the with three rookies in the starting mark ofthe game. Lancers mounting a comeback to lineup. Manuel joins rookies Kelsey McMaster, a very experienced the point where the game became Orth and Luke Snider in the starting squad, seemed to enjoy this portion tied at 10. A few big kills by rotation, and how this young three- of the game and got some spark in Laurier's Ryan Brown and Kevin some performs down the stretch their shoes, while the younger Shonk, as well as some sparkling could very well determine where the Laurier team seemed content at defense down the stretch is the only Hawks end up by the seasons end. being in the game and then letting it tiling that saved the Hawks. Although the Hawks don't lose slip away. Of particular note on the injury much immediately with Manuel Thoughts of a similar kind domi- list is, Laurier's big middle hitter, entering the lineup, whether the nated coach Brett Thomas' post Ryan Brown who is down and out. Hawks can perform well over the game commentary. "We have to win Down is for certain as he was long run with stacks of youth in the games, not just play comfortably up unable to play at McMaster on lineup remains to be seen. to 12. The game is up to 15, not 12, Friday and it is not known how long The Hawks have a week off from and if we don't play until we reach he will be out. Early prognosis on regular season action but it's not that, then the good teams are going Brown was a torn ACL, but no ofli- your typical week off. Laurier hosts to beat us." cial word has been given as to how the number three ranked Winnipeg Coach Thomas may have hit the long he will be out. Wesmen this Thursday for an exhi- nail on the head, because earlier The injury is ofparticular impor- bition match that will clearly action in the week saw Laurier tance to the Hawks as Brown's demonstrate where the Hawks almost blow several big leads thundering kills have often been the stand. The Wesmen are traditonally against the visiting Windsor lift that the Hawks have needed in a CIAU powerhouse. PICTURE Lancers. tight matches in order to pull off the The Hawks managed to beat RLE Although Laurier won in straight victories. Western, who were ranked sixth at games 3-0, the Hawks had leads of Team Captain and OUAA All- the beginning of the season but that Action from Laurier's men's volleyball squad earlier this week. The 12-2 and 8-1 in the second and third Star Kevin Shonk summed up was when Laurier was playing with Hawks currently sit at 4-1, good enough to tie them for first place. games that looked like they could Brown's injury when he stated tremendous consistency. have easily slipped away. "Ryan's a force to be reckoned with As of late, the Hawks have been out SCOTT O'HARA Marauders had other plans which The second game saw Windsor in the middle. Any time a team loss- a little shaky and if they come look for Cord Sports included handing Laurier it's first score 11 of the game's 14 final es someone like him, you lose a little like that against Winnipeg, " blown As the old saying goes, All good loss of the season by a score of3-1. points, as Laurier managed to bit, but were deep off the bench at Laurier to have their doors things must come to an end." The Although the games were close squeeze out the win with a 15-13 middle, so we'll be okay." off. undefeated Men's Volleyball team with scores of 12-15,13-15 and 13- score. In the third game, which In his place is rookie Rodney If the Hawks manage to regain visited the McMaster Marauders 15, they're not playing horseshoes early on looked like Windsor would Manuel. Rodney started at the composure and passing skills in sea- looking for there second win of the and it's a loss for the Hawks all the be boarding the bus soon after the McMaster and performed admirably the demonstrated early the very week, and the opportunity to reach same. Laurier, probably the best Hawks jumped to a 8-2 lead, quickly smashing down a bunch of balls son, look for Laurier to play and maybe an unprecedented 5-0. team in the league at scoring points turned into a marathon match. The while playing well defensively. competitive volleyball Unfortunately for Laurier, the up to 12, couldn't close out the Hawks passed the ball with horren- With Brown out and Manuel in, even surprise the visitors. Golden Hawk Sport Shorts

for the GREG included team captain Amy Turek, team travels to York on Thursday losses drop the tram's record to 1-4 pegged as a rebuilding year CHOWNYK the Cord Sports Cheryl Pounder, Jen Krog and and to Windsor on the weekend. on the season and leave them in team, improvement down sur- Michelle MacGregor. The win sixth place in the division. stretch could see the Hawks late in die season. Women's Hockey leaves the team in third place one Women's Volleyball Head coach Cookie Leach has a prise some teams The squad will resume regular The Hawks ran their record to an point behind York and five points The women's volleyball squad con- young and inexperienced squad on action a week from today impressive 3-0-1 this past weekend behind Toronto. The Hawks do have tinued to struggle as they lost both her hands as only two starters are season they play the Waterloo with a 4-2 victory over the Gueiph a game in hand on York and two on their matches in three games to back from last season and there are when hi Gryphons. Goal scorers for Laurier the undefeated Varsity Blues. The Windsor and McMaster. The iwo five first year players, what is Athenas.

12 November 20, 1996theCord -(Sports) Huskies in a romp Saskatchewan earns Vanier berth as Laurier hostsfirst class event

MIKE MCKENNA avail. In a game that saw a total of 14 Cord Sports Jar-ret Rennie made it 19-0 after turnovers, it only seemed fitting that It was a beautiful day for football the Guelph defense had seemingly Saskatchewan defensive end, Joe this past Saturday as the upstart stopped the Huskie's drive, only to Saul, would be awarded with the took on the have it kept alive by an unnecessary Murray Van Vliet Trophy as the Saskatchewan Huskies in the roughness penalty. game's top player. Saul had two , played at University Guelph finally got on board just sacks, recovered two fumbles, and Stadium. Unfortunately for the before the half ended, courtesy of a forced another. Gryphons, the game didn't turn out Krystian Stringer field goal. The For their efforts, the Huskies to be so beautiful. The Huskies Gryphons could have easily made earn a trip to the where scored a convincing 33-9 victory, this score a major, however, WR they will face the and with that, ended Guelph's fairy Brad Bunn dropped a Body pass in champion the St. Francis Xavier X- tale run. the endzone. Men. The X-men defeated the The Gryphons hoped to continue The disaster continued for Ottawa Gee-Gees 13-5 in a game their string of upsets against the Guelph in the second half. As they where the wind played a big part. number one team in the nation after began to play better on both sides of The game goes November 30 at WILLIAMS knocking off Western and Waterloo the ball, old fiimbilitis hit RB Gerrit Toronto's Skydome. over the previous two weeks. Stam, stopping a drive at the From the view point of the a suc- STEPHEN However, this was just not meant to Saskatchewan 23 yard line. Laurier hosts, the game was be. Tony Chad, the Huskies' hero in cess. The game was run in a first Saskatchewan jumped out to a the last weeks' Hardy Cup game, class fashion, something the orga- PICTURE: quick lead, following the first of once again made a contribution, nizing committee hopes the CIAU Saskatchewan RB Tony Chad shown here one of his two TD runs what would be nine Gryphon scoring two touchdowns. The first took note of. against Guelph last Saturday. The Huskies won 33-9. turnovers. Huskie QB Brent one, near the end of the third quar- "Our goal from the outset was to Schneider hooked up with David ter, made it 26-3 and pretty much provide a first class event. We were stated Newbrough. "We Murza on an 8 yard TO pass to open put the game out ofreach. able to do that and at the same time ple lining up to support us next year to do it," the scoring. Guelph's only touchdown came meet our second goal of not ending if we want to pursue the Bowl have TSN on our side which will be After Guelph QB Wally Gabler in the fourth quarter when Body ran up in the red," said Laurier Athletic again." a big bonus and since everything turned the ball over two more times on in on a quarterback keeper to Director Rich Newbrough. "This is The committee's ultimate goal ran smoothly, even though the game allowing Saskatchewan to go up by make it 26-9. It was as close as the the way the event needs to be run would be to have the game placed at itself was not very close, many 12, Nathan Body came in to replace Gryphons would get. Chad's second and hopefully the CIAU will take University Stadium on a permanent things are in our favour if we want Gabler at the helm, but it was to no TO closed out the scoring. note of this... We already have peo- basis. "That would be the best way to pursue the game again." Around the This Week in Laurier Sports

•Thursday Nov. 21 Men's Varsity Volleyball Winnipeg @ Laurier Waterloo Recreation Complex Hockey Toronto @ Laurier 7:3opm 8:00pm A.C. OUAA • Waterloo Recreation Complex Saturday Nov. 23 Women's @ •Saturday Nov. 23 Women's Varsity Basketball Laurier GREG CHOWNYK sive player. With it, Krete also wins •Thursday Nov. 21 Women's Varsity Hockey Laurier @ Windsor Windsor 2:oopm Cord Sports the President's trophy. York RB Jeff Varsity Hockey Laurier @ York 3:3opm Johnson is the league s Rookie of the 7:3opm •Sunday Nov. 24 Women's Varsity FORMER HAWKS HONOURED: Year, and Guelph slotback Kip •Saturday Nov. 23 Men's Varsity Hockey Laurier @ Windsor This past Friday night saw the 1972 Wigmore is the OUAA winner of the •Thursday Nov. 21 Men's Varsity Hockey Guelph @ Laurier 7:oopm 3:3opm and 1973 Golden Hawk football TSN Award, which is squads, along with their coach, Dave given to the player who best com- "Tuffy" Knight, inducted into the bines academic achievement, foot- OUAA Football Hall of Fame. The ball skill, and citizenship. All five will 1972 Hawks made an appearance in represent the league in these cate- the Vanier Cup that year after post- gories at the CIAU Outstanding ing a 4-2 regular season record and Player Awards Dinner on November TEAR YOUR* defeating Ottawa, Western, and St. 28. Mary's in the play-offs. IGNORE AN ALL-STAR: Despite the Unfortunately, it was not meant to be exceptional showing, which included as the team lost 20-7 to Alberta a first place finish in the regular sea- despite a 134 yard rushing perfor- son, the Laurier Men's soccer squad SOUL APART W mance from Gerry Blacker. The only managed to have one player 1973 season saw the team go 7-1 in named to the All-Star team. Rookie the regular season, but bowed out to keeper Mark Ignor was the only St. Mary's in the Atlantic Bowl. Hawk named to the OUAA West Under Knight, the Hawks ran the Division team. I lead coach Frank ball 402 times, which still stands as a Anagnostopolous Was ayvarded the league, record. Their 2352 yards coach's spot on the team. The rushing is third overall in the league , the team that Sunday as only the 1974 and 1977 Hawk broke I miner's hearts in the division teams rail more. Knight found his final, had four players named to the way to Hall alter the which was tops the divi- ro the eclipsing squad, in mm CIAU record for all time coaching sion. victories in the first game of the sea- HOCKEY NOTES: Heading into this son this year. Also inducted were past weekend's action, the Waterloo Western greats Jamie Bone and Joe Warriors and Guelph Gryphons sat Krol, as well as former Toronto atop the league along with UQTR. All standout, Bill Bewley. three have only one blemish in the FOOTBALL AWARDS: The league loss column... McGill's offense officially announced their award appears to be the most dangerous in winners this past week. Waterloo the league, with the top three scorers RB Jarrett Smith is the Omega being Redmen. Former QMJHL, Trophy winner as the league's MVP. player Pierre Gendron, who is also Smith (jfe) is also up for the Hec tops in the CIAU, leads the way with Creighton award as the CIAU Player 29 points, while linemates Kelly of the Year. Smith led the OUAA in Nobes and Stephane Anges are not rushing with 879 yards on 164 car- far behind. However, their defense is ries. Western defensive tackle, hurting them. With 30 goals against Derek Parkes, is the league's winner them in only 8 games, they lost only of the J.P. Metras Trophy as the top 3 games... Laurier goalie, Geoff NO COVER BEFORE 9:00 lineman. Derek Krete, a Mustang Schnare, sits fifth in the league with linebacker, is the outstanding defen- 2.80 goals against average. $4.00 ON SUNDAY 220 KING N.

theCord November 20, 1996 13 (Sports} Strong showing in pool

TOM FUKE province. In their previous meeting their performance. He cited other made the cut. This is the kind of record in the 200 Individual Medley Cord Sports against Waterloo, the men earned a co-captain Jenny Parwicki, as well attitude Boles likes to stress when by more than a full second. He joins The Laurier Varsity swim teams 106-105 victory, while the women as Jacqui Kersey, Amanda Austin talking to recruits, other swimmers fellow rookie, Rob Guthrie, in that traveled to Guelph on Friday to face fell 101-89. and Karen Ryan as reasons to main- and coaches. "This dedication to elite group. Guthrie eclipsed the bo tli the Gryphons and the Waterloo "We showed some poise tain a positive outlook on this sea- improvement is why the women team's 200 metre backstroke mark Warriors, hoping for both men's and tonight," coach Dean Boles said of son. have nothing to worry about this back on November 1 by more than women's victories over at least his men. "I can guarantee you that Parwicki's performances speak year," he concluded. "They will per- three seconds. Waterloo. Waterloo was trying their best to for themselves. She handily won the form better come championship The Hawks get a well deserved The men proved their last beat us." 50 metre freestyle in a personal best meet time than these current scores weekend away from competition, Warrior victory was no fluke. Their The women, minus co-captain time and will undoubtedly qualify indicate." but will be back in action on 96-83 triumph over the Warriors, Sue Miller, were able to come within for the CIAU's again this year. Solid performances in Guelph November 29 and 30. The teams coupled with their unexpectedly 24 points of Waterloo, losing 95-71, Kersey, Austin, and Ryan had were also turned in by Dayna travel to Toronto on the 29th for a close 103-76 loss to the Gryphons but were soundly beaten by Guelph. been on the brink of not making the Patterson, who won three events, meet that will be televised. The fol- (the best team in the division) Boles could use the excuse that this team qualifying standards, but after Mark Dineson, with one win and lowing day, the team is in St. showed that this year's men's team year is a rebuilding year, but instead two months of attending every prac- John Pelleck also with one. Pelleck, Catherines, where they will be up is one of the better squads in the chose to commend the squad for tice and working hard, all three a rookie, broke the Laurier team against the Brock Badgers. WIN VANIER CUP TICKETS These guys won't be going to the game, but you sure can! Just come on up to the Cord office and tell Greg, Ready for Jim or Melanie the score of the game the last time Laurier won the Vanier Cup and you and a friend will be at this year's game November 30 at Skydome. takeoff

AMANDA STOCKS Much of the offense will once students Jennifer Martin and Cord Sports again be provided by last season's Amanda Peers will be required to hit After last year's somewhat surpris- team MVP and OWIAA All Star, the outside shots and run the fast ing season, the women's basketball Sarah Collins. As a third year veter- breaks. The fleet footed Lisa Moore, team is heating up for yet another an and one of K-Ws finest players, somewhat of a dribbling magician campaign with hopes of once again the team will be looking for her lead- will also be called upon to move the finding themselves in the playoffs ership from inside and outside of the ball up court. come February. With twelve sopho- key. Collins' great season last year Second year players Sherry more players returning, two of included a 39 point performance Faber, Aimee LeClair, Tracey which were rookie red shirts last against Waterloo. Linklater, and Erin Towns each pos- year, the Hawks have a solid nucleus When asked about personal and sess the ability to lead the team in

of players who have one year of team goals for the year, Collins said , future years. Faber and Towns, both playing together under their belts. "I want to play as well or better than strong post players, will be exTtcted Head Coach, Sue Lindley, last year. And as a team our goal is to block shots and drive to the hoop, returns after being on sabbatical for to qualify for the OWIAA playoffs, whereas their team mates LeClair the past year. lindley has a tough act and make the finals." and Linklater will have to consistent- to followfrom last season as replace- Point guard Kate ly run the court and keep the offense LIVE ENTERTAINMENT WEEkLY AT: ment coach, Tom O'Brien, took the McClenaghan, who returns for her in motion. All four give the Hawks a Hawks to their first OWIAA fourth and final year at Laurier, will solid bench Lindley can look toward Championship Tournament in seven also have a lot riding on her shoul- in times of need. years. O'Brien was also the recipient ders. McClenaghan is the quiet Also coming off the bench is Kelly of both the OWIAA West Division leader on the court and is consistent- Gentleman, a mobile 6'o" post play- and the Golden Hawks 1995-96 ly pushing her teammates to bigger er. She will be needed to come Coach ofthe Year Awards. and better goals. through down this season's stretch. With the return of Lindley, Along with McClenaghan, the As a strong player, Gentleman can O'Brien has now taken over as versatile Brenda Vrkljan and for- be seen bumping players within the leader of cross town rivals, the ward Audrey Kaersenhout will be paint and crashing the boards. Waterloo Athenas. The Laurier and depended on to make a solid contri- The Hawks begin their season Waterloo matchups this season bution. Vrkljan has the ability to this Saturday on the road in Windsor should prove to be quite exciting. drive to the hoop and consistently against the Lancers. Lindley and her According to lindley, the key to make the outside shot. Kaersenhout squad would like to come out of the THIS winning games this year for the is not only one of the fastest players gate flying; picking up where they WEEK: the league " Hawks means the women must in the league, but her grit and deter- left off last year and let "RETRO TUESDAYS LU.Ck CHARITY AUCTION "rely on good team work at both mination allows her to grab almost know that their appearance in the (NOV./9) ends of the court, we must execute any rebound offthe boards. playoffe last season was not just a "PUB NIGHT THURSDAYS" AND THEN SOME the offense, and we cannot be out- In addition to a team already one time affair. third (N0V.20 hustled by anybody." abundant with guards, year

"EIRE IT UP EARLY FRIDAYS" AFTERNOON - (N0V.22) BRENT LANTHIER

• - gQfcPRIMROSE HOTEL "CABARETSATURDAYS" 'S NETWORK (N0V.23) LAURIER LIVE MunUH In the heart of Downtown Toronto - 111 Carlton St. NEXT ATTN: CO-OP STUDENTS WEEK: Looking for housing in Toronto? Want a little luxury in your life? "PUB NIGHT THURSDAYS" BLACKWATER DRAW (NOV.2S) FIRE IT UP EARLY FRIDAYS" Rl VERWORkS (N0V.29)

-

• From Jan. '97 April '97 • CABARET SATURDAYS" PRE NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY CNOV.3O) $525.00 per person (based on a double occupancy) MOTES: THURSP/WS m. 31. FRIDAY AFTERNOONS -ARE FREE. SATURPAYS * Call now for complete great end soon ARE FREE BEFORE fOmEXCEPT details. This offer will * THESE TWO EVENTS WILL HAVE COVER CHARGES AT Q:OOp* Ask for Scott Yellen 1-800-565-8865 e-mail: [email protected] linn, l„ ynii liv www.travelweb.com/thisco/bw/66052/66052 b.html ' M

14 November 20,1996 theCord ENTERTAINMENT Bee girls & fresh dreams Blind Melons "Nico" is an epitath and a look ahead

ROBIN WHITTAKER tilings more clearly. I wish I could go Cord Entertainment back and change things. You do the Walking into Toronto's Four Seasons best you can at that moment. Hotel last Tuesday was a curious Sometimes everything doesn't work, experience. Amid the glitz of the- you know. atre-going high-rollers strode the Shannon's lyrics dealt a lot scruff of working-clothed rock & about coming to terms with rollers. A speedy elevator launch to yourself and growing up. Is the 23rd floor brought me to the there any kind of eerie fore- gorgeous hotelroom where guitarist shadowing there? Rogers Stevens would meet for ... Yeah. Looking back on it, it looks interviews. prophetic, but at the time you didn't "" never left my have that perspective. He's still alive, walkman in grade 11 and 12. he's still in the room, you're still talk- "Paper Scratcher" and "Holyman" ing to him. You know, it's hard.... still echo in my ears. Last winter you put out an add We talk about everything: the for a new lead singer. Have band's past, Shannon's life and you found anyone? death, the new enhanced-CD front- No. We've listened to a lot of tapes, ed by a photograph of Shannon's and we just haven't run across any- poetic tattoo, the band's new rocku- thing yet that we feel is perfect for "There's a lot of stuff about this record thafs symbolic," reflects guitarist Rogers Stevens, far right. mentaiy video, and the search for a us. We don't want to do anything ... PICTURE CLINCH 1993 Following singer 's death a year ago, the band has continued to write and to search,DANY new singer by Rogers, Chris (guitar), unless it's amazing. It wouldn't be Brad (bass) and Glen (drums). liked to have gone on and made us. But shit, at least we had that! ... "these are the consequences of my right.... We're looking for somebody If you'd told me four years ago more records.... It didn't work out It's better than not having any actions [and] if I do this, this is who's really sure of themselves,

I'd meet the writer of "Galaxy" and like that ... to get shut-down in the song.... what's gonna happen."... His think- unique, doing there own thing, "Soak the Sin" I would have middle of the tour, and to lose our Where did the name "Blind ing was very impulsive and on the because ifthey're trying to be some- freaked. singer and our best friend. To be Melon" come from? moment, which was a blessing and body else, it's just not gonna work. Stevens immediately presents able to make this record it... helped When [Brad, our bassist,] was grow- a curse.... The very thing that made Is another Shannon the ideal?

himself as neither a glitzy nor a us to get through the whole thing.... ing up, he lived next door to ... a him so interesting also made him so No, I don't think so. I think that scruffy high-roller. He's somewhere Of course, Shannon wasn't there, bunch of burnt-out hippies and they dangerous to himself. It allowed him would be kinda insulting to all the in between: still searching. His but to hear his voice over the speak- always called each other "Blind to be really creative and free and people who like Blind Melon, and Mississippi drawl puts me at once at ers, it was a really good thing for us Melons."... It was kind of a joke for free-thinking and be able to put .. .to Shannon's memory. ease, in the presence of one of my to d0.... It sucks that he couldn't be us. We kinda knew people were things together in a unique way. But Are there any thoughts about high-school music heroes. there to do this with u5.... With this going to perceive us to be that way. it also lead to a lot of impulsive, stu- the four of you going your When I heard that singer record you can hear where [the A lot of it was very tongue and pid stuff. I've never met anybody separate ways? Shannon Hoon had died of a band] was going.... cheek, that stuff that we were doing. that was that much like that. I cher- .. .There's a bond with us. We can't cocaine overdose in the middle of a What do you hope people get What does the enhanced-CD ish every minute that I held with this be separated now. We've been tour, I saw the loss of an originator, from "Nico," more than any- allow you to do?" guy.... through so much together. We still however fucked up, and the death thing else? It allowed us to put videos [out] that You guys were signed after want to play together. Writing just of a band that offered something I hope that people would get a clear- nobody ever saw.... We had a lot of submitting just a four-song last month, we came up with some unique to today's music. Bee-girl er picture of what Shannon was videos that didn't get played.... Plus, demo. Do you think Shannon's really great stuff.... It would be a over-exposure unfairly threatened about.... I hope that people will real- it gives people something more for troubles came out of too much shame to just throw away all this the band - Shannon's death smote it. ize that he had a real gift for saying their money.... We want to make success too soon? chemistiy that we've developed and During the half-hour, we eat things, a real gift for metaphor, for this something really special Shannon had a criminal record all the things that we have, without cookies and peanut M&M's and dis- turning a simple phrase.... I want because it's the last hurrah of this longer than my leg in high-school. at least giving it a real shot. cuss Blind Melon. him to be appreciated more as a band.... His problems went way back. It song-writer and not for the crazy There was a quote where Brad wasn't that being a rock star all of a "Nico" is named after Shannon's Do you look at "Nico" as a col- stuffthat he did.... said Shannon "was a tyrant sudden screwed his head up. He daughter, Nico Blue, born less than lection of memories for you, What did the success of "No and an angel." What did he was carrying around a lot of stuff 14 weeks before Hoon's death. as well as for your fans? Rain" mean for the band?" mean by that? from when he was younger.... The album closes the last chap-

For us, it was like we got an oppor- ... We came out with this song and Shannon was a really emotional Do you wish you had more ter on Blind Melon, whose four tunity to finish what we were it got really over-played on MTV ... person. He didn't really have ratio- time? remaining members look hopefully doing.... Obviously, we would have and it burnt a lot of people out on nal thinking, being that he could say Yeah. I wish I had the ability to see to the future. At high risk for quality

SARAH SIGURDSSON separate people linked to each other actors who managed to keep the Cord Entertainment through the life of a particular audience thoroughly entranced. The Laurier Theatre Collective is woman, who appears to have the Rob Daleman's performance a student group which presents power to captivate the thoughts of was very entertaining; he weaved plays written, directed and per- those around her. The audience together medleys of his own songs formed by students. Their produc- consensus seemed to be that this and popular favourites. The music tion entitled "At Your Own Risk" was a challenging work with a hard was light and presented with a was comprised of two plays separat- to decipher plot. sense of fun - it added just the right ed by a musical interlude. It was last With all the talk, I heard only one balancing factor to the evening. ganoid Friday and Saturday that the logical argument; one member of "At The End," written and Collective revealed these two strong the audience claimed that society directed by Adam Hossack with the AVH plays, "Of a Time and Place," and trains us to analyze, rather than to assistance of Ronald C. Hoppe, pro- At The End." The audience on take life and art at face value and vided an interesting outlook on life. Friday evening was charmed by the enjoy these things for themselves. The play unfolds as the story of an 10IWH0S music of Rob Daleman, while on Given this, it is easy to see how the aged man reflecting on his life. The Laurier Theatre Collective strikes a pose in the Peters Building. Saturday the audience had the play became difficult to understand The final scene is a startling con- music of Gord Bolan to entertain - it was not meant to be torn apart frontation with the character of some point. "At The End" illustrates dents of the Laurier Theatre them during the short intermission. in the traditional fashion. Death; the old man is easy to identi- how death surrounds us, even in Collective. The group will be per- 'Of a Time and Place," written Despite the ambiguities, the play fy with because of his fear and mis- life. forming again in February, and it and directed by Sterling Lynch, cre- was put on very well. Well written understanding. The issues dealt It was very encouraging to see would be excellent if they could get ated many whispers during the and staged. with in this play mirror those in real such creative and thought-provok- the response from the student body intermission. The play follows three It was carried effectively by life - all of us must face death at ing material emerging from the stu- that their efforts deserve.

theCord November2o, 1996 15 (Entertainment" Bugs flick off the rim

Looney Tunes. When itty-bitty taining combination of cartoon fun O'Neal. Jordan performed very well PHOTO aliens (who are remarkably cute, and basketball action ended up considering it's his first movie. Bill RLE especially the purple one) come to being a slow-moving parade of ani- Murray guest stars in the movie as, Earth to make the Tunes slaves, mation effects. Most of the funny well, himself. Murray is very Bugs and company challenge the parts are in the previews, the plot humourous and even appears in the vertically-challenged invaders to a took too long to get going, and the game, but he just wasn't in the game of basketball . To compete, Tunes simply aren't in it enough. All movie enough. Other guest stars the aliens steal the talent from NBA your favourites are there, but with include Wayne Knight, Larry Bird, stars such as Patrick Ewing, the exception of Bugs and Daffy, and numerous basketball figures. Charles Barkley, and Larry they're only in it for ten seconds. Not The best part of the movie was Johnson, to become huge basket- enough time was spent playing with the game, where the Tunes did ball monsters. The outclassed Tunes the personalities of the Tunes. what they do best. If the film had recruit retired player Michael Also, the film makers seemed simply been more oriented towards Jordan to help them win the game. overly concerned with showing off the presence of the cartoon charac- When I saw the previews for how well they could integrate ters it would have been a much CAESAR MARTINI Space Jam, I thought, "Great! I like Jordan into cartoon world. As a more entertaining film. Space Jam Cord Entertainment Space Jam is a movie that com- basketball. I love the Looney Tunes. result, the cartoon action is visually is worth seeing if you're a Looney Movie: Space Jam bines Michael Jordan's basketball What could go wrong?" Weil, I'll tell fantastic, but not veiy fun. TUne fan or a Jordan fan, but do it Starring: Michael Jordan, greatness with the wacky animated you. Thankfully, Jordan is more at on a cheap night. Bugs Bunny behaviours of Warner Brothers' What appeared to be an enter- ease on the screen than Shaquille "The Industrial Photo Show opens Revolution" at Langdon Gallery DAN KERR might have heard of, so it is obvious Cord Entertainment how it was likened to punk and how VIVENE SALMON which are equally expressive. tures the power and beauty of Every week at the end of the col- it was seen as punk's dark and evil Cord Entertainment Blackburn's work contains strong, nature with an almost surreal umn, I add the attachment inviting cousin. It was originally spawned in Laurier's Robert Langdon Gallery is classical imagery, recalling Greek ty, invoking images of "another email comments. 1 received an inter- Europe by such acts as Throbbing hosting a collection of brilliant pho- and Roman sculpture, though later world" by the contrast of sea and esting inquiry this past week, and Gristle, Cabaret Voltaire and tographic works by James works transform the classical ele- rock. One of the most arresting after a little research, have filed this Einsturzende Neubauten, who Blackburn and local talent Robert ments into a cleaner, simpler, more images is a 1992 print, "Castle report. Bryan wanted some infor- were experimental artists, using dif- McNair from November 11 to mature form. It is a nice contrast to Cove;" a must-see. This show comes mation about ; it ferent noises to make their music. November 30. McNair and McNair's thematic approach. highly recommended and will hot would seem from his letter that he is Some of these groups were part Blackburn manipulate the media in Robert McNair, a Newfoundlander disappoint the viewer quite knowledgable about this genre musicians and part performance very different manners, both of and landscape photographer, cap- of music, but his concern is that it is troupe. not properly represented, so here Some artists (such as Nine Inch goes. Nails) have The notion that industrial music is enjoyed recent poorly represented success in the is entirely true i past few years, - this is an area L but industrial of "alternative" | music goes music which much deeper truly is alterna- than that, as Bryan pointed out. ijsf: tive. Radio sta- Most of us are familiar with NIN, m (ions rarely recognize this music and Ministry or Skinny Puppy, but this 4' 112 the press hardly covers it at all. The music is known all over the world ' s only places we usually experience and there are numerous different mm mm,IjyHlßHfflEiF industrial music are in the clubs. acts. Bands such as Front 242, : —..m- ■■■■■■■ iJ This is a truly underground genre of Frontline Assembly, KMFDM, ■ music, yet it has a cult-like following My Life With The Thrill Kill Eye Exams Arranged and its popularity has mushroomed Kult, Filter, Wumpscut and We beat any competitor's in the 90's. Battery are lesser known, but are 50% Off Frames coupons at time of Details store. Industrial music is characteristical- still professionals in their craft. »i.h complete purchase of glasses in ly known for its fierce guitar riffs, Bryan even went as far as to name • ° 91 King st North' Waterlo heavy sampling, intense and agres- more bands, and this just goes to Over 3000 in stock Start from $59 (King & Bridgeport) sive lyrics and general all round how we know • show little about Details in store Expires Nov 2 V96 machine/computer-like sound. industrial music. I hope that this ' 747-5657

the "industrial" brief look • • Hence, name. into a particular genre has We • accept all Insurance Blue Cross Green Shield Ministry of Community & Social Services, and Welfare Canada *DVA Actually, the name comes from a shed some light on the subject for couple different areas, but is derived those ofyou who were interested but mainly from the dark image and didn't know much about it, and that machine-like pioneering of music. It those of you already in the know would be fair to say that industrial were satisfied by this brief take on music covers numerous other gen- industrial music. res of music, with its use of , samples, synthesizers, etc., and also "Musically Speaking" discusses from its cross-over sounds of metal, music and it'sfascinating world, any thrash and punk. comments, questions and insights Industrial began in the mid-seven- can be addressed to Dan at ties, roughly the same time as anoth- [email protected] er popular musical movement you

/\ See laurier Graduate / 112 / A) Michael Cressman as 'Tony"

m ntre 'n Square's Wast Side Story this weekend

< AdulisOnl. I«;% PhoncTech Corp docs noi screen callcrs and assumes no liabilit> when meeting through this scrvicc

16 November 20, 1996 theCord (Entertainment) Cheese 'n' Gators at Casey's: Dining Out

JAMES EATON AND the main purpose of us doing this well ... maybe) menu which offers way, James was Anally able to get to This having been said, our only JENNIFER MARTIN article. So we sat down and something for everyone. We started the wood: a 24 oz. Over the Edge other comment is that Casey's is a Cord Entertainment wracked our brains on where to go (as opposed to ended) with appetiz- Porterhouse, cooked medium-rare higher-than-average priced meal. After a string of several bad reviews (actually Jen wracked her brain, ers. ($19.93). Jen had the Lemon Rice However, the old saying rings true: (read bad meals!), we have been James was tired) and we decided to And what's this? Jen ordering Chicken ($11.66). Both came with you do get what you pay for. So next able to get ourselves back on track head to Casey's, oh so conveniently the simple Cheese Sticks ($4.97), your basic fixin s like fries, veggies, time you are looking for a good over the past few weeks. Week in located at Weber and Lodge Streets. while boring James ventures into rice pilaf and roasted vegetables, all meal out, you might want to give and week out, our hope is to enjoy Thankfully, our prayers were Alligator country ($5.99). Both were of which were superb! Casey's a try. A meal for two should some fine dining and to inform the answered with a meal fit for a excellent, and to anyone who is curi- In addition to the great meal, we be around $40-$45 with tip (if you Laurier student body of our success- king/queen, excellent service, and ous, the Alligator tasted like spicy, had an excellent server who always order the steak your bill might be es, which, along with all the fan mail great atmostphere. Casey's offers a tough chicken. made sure our coke glasses were just a smidge more).

and groupies we've assembled, was very expansive (not expensive ... With the formalities out of the filled and our needs were met. ear candy ear candy

to a grasp what it was that made his Love," the instrumental "B.L. Got ments included in the liner notes! former band such an underground Soul" and the more traditional The thing is, it's actually not a half phenomenon. With this newest sounding "Chicken Dog," featuring bad album. Featuring the best of album, I think he may just have guest vocalist Rufus Thomas. If European techno-rave music, this

rediscovered what that missing ele- you agreed with Spencer himself , album contains some new remixes ment was. who has said in the past that, "the of previously released material, Opening with characteristic Blues is number 1," you're sure to along with new singles by bands Spencer vocal squealing and Elvis enjoy this album, as it's definitely such as Underground, Future wanna-be vocals, the Blues one of his best to date. Sound of London, and the Explosion trio of Spencer, Judah Chemical Brothers. Some of the Bauer, and Russell Simins kick out Sean Moore music featured is quite good, includ- Now I Got Worry the jams in traditional Blues Wipeout XL ing "Petrol" by Orbital and "Third The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion style. Still remaining is Various Artists Sequence" by Photek. The low Explosion the band's use of the punk-blues EMI points of the album are probably the Matador/Capitol guitar riff along with the combina- tracks contributed by Ever since his previous band, Pussy tion of snappy hip-hop influenced Just when I thought I had seen Underground, (but I'm not the Galore, broke up and its members rhythms. Oddly, the first and last everything corporations could do to biggest fan of their frantic went their separate ways to form songs are probably the weakest on pimp the music scene, out comes tempofooomin' bass musical formu- other groups (Boss Hogg, Royal the album. Sandwiched in between, this album. No, Wipeout XL, is not la.) If you don't know who many of Tnux), Jon Spencer has been trying however, are gems like "2 Kinds of a compilation recording released to these bands are but want an intro- promote any particular musical duction to the best in techno music, cause (which is oh so popular now a this album is definitelyfor you. days). This album is actually a freaking advertisement for a video Sean Moore game, complete with advertise- Hard Cord

ROBIN WHITTAKER Cord Entertainment

1. Triple Chocolate Fudge sandwich cookies. Happiness, thy name is P.C.

2. Today's Bell phone booths. Superman's lookin' for a new place to change.

3. Do a-diddy diddy diddy dum diddy do. * No, no! Sing it the other way!... Heh, hch, heh • • • Im-uiiiiii Duo In {hiiii hum Sum hi bin 4. Mr. Clean, Pine Sol, grape juice. The answer to ail your removing-dirt-from-the-floor needs,

A film that investigates cutting edge tech- 5. Grannie Knots.

■P' - «&. W KJfljPv MWHB| nologies and their influence on our culture A quaint way of tying two strings together? Or a rule book for little old |S| M | as we approach the 21st century. ladies? Director lara Lee explores the human 6. asdfjkl; mgm Memories ofTyping Tutor. m'jH dr've t0 contro ' nature through 7 technology. 7. Appendix removal. jp Wjm Inevitable, really. Since its synonym is addendum!!

8. Rallying the troops. MglllllS As much fun as, say, organizing a falafel-throwing contest. 9. Conquistadors. And to those gutsy Spanish conquerors, I say "Old!" Friday Nov. 22 - Tues. Nov. 26th, NIGHTLY! Jr " g L Check Film Guide for exact showtimes. 10. Having your cake and eating it too. To be fair to everyone, I'll only have my cake, thank you. Film Guides at Wilfs & Info Booth 6 Princess St. W., Waterloo 885-2950

theCord November 20, 1996 17 brain candy Diner Chat Site-ings first crash

shayrie lidkea RELATIONSHIP SAVIOUR 96.11.20 00:23:36 THE head: sagging This week's edition of Diner €hai & gests that a tight necktie can inter- legs: numb dedicated to all those Coidm llawks $£V«rrty-sfcVen dollars of beer fere with blood flow to the brain and eyes: drooping who feel as through tljofr head is in the can, sensory organs. Ifyou do wear a tie, thought: a case for sleep could be made at this going to explode any minute from Seventy-seven dollars of beer. buy shirts with plenty of neck room po1nt. ...nah. the end of the term 'hustle and bus- If one O# those cans should and leave them unbuttoned beneath flatland: blank tle'. So, for all of you who hafi| Happen to fait, the tie. thought: woah! wake up! what's going on? enjoyed those long midnight ren- There'll still fee seventy-seven notification: system error: explorer caused an excep- dezvous with your economics and dollars of beer In the can! Forget about shedding tion fault in explore.exe. windows will now psychology textbooks, believe me The most expensive beer in the pounds! restart. you're not alone! world is worth seventy-seven dol- The best lovers are men and women thought: what? reboot? geesh, this is not good. lars! It's name is Tuiank&meti Ale who are 10 to 15 pounds over- computer: off Problem?! After spending the and it is brewed from & reeijMv weight, not people with perfect bod- power: on entire night mesmerized by based on sediment, found lu andenl ies! This extra fat allows people to watch: ticking Erikson's theory, you walk into your Egyptian jars. Only 1000 boUlf# indulge in sex and not feel as though though: what a waste of time... I wonder what went exam and realize that everything have been brewed and mil||irs they need an excess of control. wrong, wait a sec...1'm running windows 95. yet you've studied is missing from the claim that it is similar to a drink Similarly underweight people are it's 1996...hmmm...1 wonder if there 1s a connec- exam! enjoyed by Egyptian kings. (1 won- noi good lovers. Their body size tion here? Plan A: Bullshit, but where do you der how much a keg would cost?) shows they don't like to indulge. The notification: welcome to windows 95 start? least satisfying bed partners are thought: welcome to crap is more like it. maybe a new Forget about carrots, loosen finicky eaters, those who show bad os is in store... Answer?! Diner Chat is here to give your tie! manners at the table, people who flatland: mire 4.6 ox(.dreade.)xo by JMnemonic you some answers to impress your Males (and some females), loosen dine in utter silence, over-eaters and /msg: grazzt. wake up! profs if you come up blank on that your tie and you will see better! fast eaters. (Go ahead, take a break, grazzt: 1'm here gorfelgug. 1 see you got jm's new * next exam or presentation. Research at Cornell University sug- have a K|i-Ka,|o script. :) /msg: yeah, It's cool grazzt: so where have you been lately? /msg: hiding, trying to keep away from Mr.Johnson KAUFMAN grazzt: think you can handle his run? thought: what's with all these questions? FACTORY OUTLET /msg: yeah, but i'm gonna need some help...make that 6 Shirley Ave., Kitchener lots of help grazzt: you say the word, i'm there. Blemished Production . /msg: that's good to know, especially since my comput- Overruns, Samples sft 3 WARM & DRY er just crashed Discounted Styles ||Hpp? grazzt: what? your computer crashed? I thought that only happened to |Def1 ant| WHOLESALE PRICES ||| v /msg: apparently not ~ grazzt: so what now? how do you get the data file from SOREL winterboots Wellington "g? Funji? /msg: by looking at their website, I'd have to say DEFROSTER winter % Ave. •%* they're big. we're in trouble grazzt: this doesn't sound good boots for men and women § ... . . , FOAMTREAD slippers —* ,^jP /msg: yeah, especially since we're going to have to do for the family — 1t from the inside... black diamond Snow Board Boots $49.95 (KING TREAD) Mon., Tues., Wed. 10am -5 pm ISB (jT)iteracj pSßpi workbootsand Thurs., Fri. 10 am-8 pm H 4k ™ Two boys perch on chairs rubber footwear Sat. 9 am - 5 pm O'fIECT watching the television p*yMeMt . Poised on a table in the corner. Stuffed animals lie on the floor, away from the boys'captivation.

LMJ I AnimaLs RCW aJone. the children kept company by the chatter of the motionless object in the corner. Beasts on the floor are unnoticed by the boys, the boys notice the television set. Student Work Abroad Programme * P Experience living and working in another country. W0 1 Relaxing, informal and intimate. Wide menu selection. Private meeting and party space available.

Available exclusively through: ! &a>/e I:TRAVELCUTS Winner of the 1996 Waterloo Chronicle Readers' Choice Union Building, Wilfrid Laurier U. 886-8228 BEST DESSERTS/PASTRIES Student South Waterloo. (Corner of William and Regina). 747-4261 Owned and operated by the Canadian Federation of Students 100 Regina St.

18 November 20,1996 theCord SERVICES [email protected]. Check out OPPORTUNITIES HOUSING CLASSIFIEDS RATES ] http://tdg.uoguelph.ca/ontarion/hir- 1 Support Group ing/html. Deadline is November 14. MONTREAL for NEW YEAR'S'97 Four or Eight Month Sub-Let STUDENTS: Waterloo Wellington Myalgic The Ontarion is an equal opportuni- Two nights stay at 4 star downtown Starts January 1997. Largest room 30 words Of less $5 Encephalomyelitis Association ty employer. hotel & luxury bus transportation, of 4 in a house on Spruce Street. TV 31 -60 words $8 invites K-W area Chronic Fatigue From $129. Book 12 friends & room, bath, large kitchen with 2 each WOfd Over 60 .10 Syndrome sufferers, their family Models, Actors Needed TRAVEL FOR FREE. For more info fridges. Semifinished. $26(Mnonth, NON-STUDENTS: and friends to a support group by Kitchener agency for upcoming call 1-800-599-5808. some utilities included. Call Sandra 30 words Or less $7

meeting Tuesday November 26, at local and Toronto assignments @885-5738. 31 - 60 words $10 The Adult Recreation Centre, 185 (fashion shows, catalogues, advertis- Youth Exchange Program each word over 60 .10 King St. Please call our info line for ing, promotions, TV commercials, Canada World Youth is now seeking Room for Rent SEMI-DISPLAY ADS: the scheduled time: 623-3207. etc.) Skills workshops, photo ses- applications from young Canadians 27 Peppier St. Room for Rent. Jan.- add .50 sions and immediate agency repre- and landed immigrants between 17 Sept. $30Qfaionth inclusive, 8 month — Word Processing Service sentation available for beginners, and 20 for its 1997 Youth Exchange lease, in a 4 room house. Parking Reports, resumes, letters, mailing For appointment call 743-6550, 9 Programs with countries in Latin avail., 12 min. walk to WLU. Contact Placement forms are available lists, form letters, etc. on recycled am to 9 pm. America, Africa, the Carribean, Scott @ (416) 651-2166. the in Cord office, Students' paper. Laser printing, dictaphone, Easter Europe and Asia. GREAT WORKSPACE! Union Building. Phone-in equation editing, graphs and charts Cash Paid Nightly More information at the Student E/ID OAI C orders can be placed by call- available. Call Audrey @ 884-7123. for experienced door to door sales Union or contact: Canada World t"(JH vALb ing 884-1970 (ext. 3564). reps/fund raisers. Six days a week Youth, 386 Bloor St. W, 2nd floor, Cash required in advance for Brockyard Recording Studio 5:30-8:30 p.m. $8/hour. Guaranteed. Toronto, ON, M5S 1X4. Call (416) Huge metal desk, 2.5 feet x 4 feet. most student classifieds. 8 track digital, recording facility. Call today start tomorrow. Call Kent 922-0776/Fax 922-3721, email Sturdy, filing drawer. Best offer. See Billing available for phone-in Great atmosphere. Excellent gear, at 1-800-447-1826. [email protected]. Mel in the Cord office, 3rd floor orders and classifieds running All kinds of music. $20/hr. or $120 s.U.B. for more than five issues, for 7 hours. Call 744-9907. BUSINESS Deadline for placements or w cancellations is Tuesday at EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES laoo »m.

FREE TRIPS & MONEY Business Manager Students to promote the GUARAN- For student newspaper in Guelph. TEED lowest priced sun/ski vaca- PAL'S GALERIE'S Full time. Salary based on experi- tions to ACAPULCO, MONTREAL, ence. ACCPAC or equivalent. DAYTONA, CUBA. Tours are CHRISTMAS OPEN HOUSE Resumes to the Ontarion, UC Room LICENSED & INSURED by the 264, U. of Guelph, Guelph, NIG Ontario Government. No risk. Call 1- SATURDAY NOVEMBER 30, 1996. 10:00 A.M. - 5:00 PM 2W1. email ASCII resumes to 800-599-5808. HARRY AND THE HEAVY 25% OFF TIM KINGSTON CUSTOM FRAMING ® MOUNTING (PLAQUES, FLOATS) IIU Ml DRYMOUNTING (FOAMCORE) LAMINATION (DOUBLE SIDED)

FREE CHRISTMAS DRAW ($50 FRAMING CERTIFICATE) 170 UNIVERSITY AVE. W. DOOR PRIZES, HOT APPLE CIDER AND CHRISTMAS COOKIES WATERLOO. TEL 746-8650 Offer applies to orders, brought in on Saturday Nov. 30 only !

PARKING CHANGES For the information of the Laurier community, the following parking changes became effective Monday, November 11, )S>5>(3. Appropriate signage has been installed ta clearly indicate parking permit requirements following these changes.

1. Parking Lot & at University Stadium 23 spaces around the north perimeter of Lo+ 3 have been assigned as

"gold" (faculty/staff) parking spaces, 3 a.m. - (3 p.m., Monday - Friday. Fast Efficient The other 22 spaces in Lot 3 will remain as "white" (commuter student) Service - - Researching parking spaces, 3 a.m. 3 p.m., Monday Friday. As is the case For currently, valid WLU parking permits are required 3 p.m. - 1C p.m., n n and Draft Copy Work Monday - Thursday on Lot 3. Essay Costom Service 2. Mid-Campus Drive f 4 Collier Street, #201 7 new parallel parking spaces have been established on Mid-Campus $ lr|f Toronto, Ontario, M4W 1L7 J (416)960-9042 Drive along the west side of the Willison Hall residence. These new ■" ————_____ spaces have been assigned as "white" (commuter student) parking

spaces, 3 a.m. - <5 p.m., Monday - Friday. Valid WLU permits are i required in these spaces, 3 p.m. - 10 p.m., Monday - Thursday. THe ; NO CASH VALUE ! IrViDEo I = j WITH THIS Wilfrid Laurier University Parking Services OR COUPON I i RENT ANY MOVIE j PR'OE Campus Court Mall I "N OLD MOVIE i University & PhiHip Streets g ; j Waterloo, Ontario I (519) 746-2578 EXPIRES DEC. 31/96 I

I theCord November2o, 1996 19 HIKERS HAVEN M "WHERE OUTDOOR ADVENTURE IS A WAY OF LIFE" NOW OPEN Hit the Trail to Hikers Haven

Jill