• Abstract and Figures
• Public Full-text

Friday, Almost April 1, 2009 • nique.net Career exposure Still looking for work? An exciting job poses itself to those endowed with the he livers right qualifications.428 TAlong with a bunchS of articles you probably won’t read CONSTRUCTION UPDATE Lectures to become Sting Rail to fly above campus Twitter-only By @willgt09 Resident Twatter New transport to be built after construction complaints In a move to make lectures more tech- nologically advanced and socially hip, the Student Technology for Undergraduate Progress and Integration Department (S.T.U.P.I.D) plans to mandate that a majority of Tech’s courses switch over to a Twitter-only lecture style. This change will allow professors to use the popular microblogging service to send “tweets” of lecture notes in 140-character pieces to their students. The move to Twitter lectures comes after S.T.U.P.I.D conducted a student survey at the end of last semester and found that a majority of students have become more prone to skip lectures, but Students can have spent more time on Twitter, now attend as they are always lecture equpped with a mo- bile phone or device without Photo illustration courtesy of Michael Tanner capable of receiving “having to By Martin McFly the construction so that it “In fact, we’ll be taking parts ing classes will be put on hold Twitter messages, Alternative Transport Fan will no longer be an obstruc- from Stinger shuttles, which while engineering professors or “tweets.” attend tion. Plus, monorails are safe, will all be dismantled due to and students work together The move also anything. Students who are tired fast and quiet. They’re less severe lack of student interest on the monorail. has a variety of of picking their way around expensive and undoubtedly in using them.” “We have every confi- cost-saving out- orange cones and wire fences less pointless than running Students have even been dence that our professors and comes. The Insti- Frank Lee have cause to celebrate: plans ‘I love construction’ publicity invited to take part in the students have the talent and tute can now save Moronick for Sting Rail, a new mono- campaigns.” dismantling process. Stu- expertise to make this project on electricity by Chair, S.T.U.P.I.D. rail transportation system, Institute administration dents Against Stingers (SAS) a success without any finan- not having to light will soon be unveiled on has shown strong support has partnered with the Stress cial renumeration,” Mylipps many lecture halls, ” campus in response to over- for the Sting Rail initia- Relief Clinic to equip all in- said. “But we’re offering as there is no need for professors to hold whelming criticism of cam- tive. “We’re proud to be at terested persons with sledge- wonderful, generous incen- classes. Another perk is the ability to save pus construction. the forefront of alternative hammers, axes and clubs to tives: professors will get more money on printing tests, worksheets or The monorail will have transportation,” said Reed smash and otherwise destroy unpaid holidays and students other class materials. Students can just stops in all major areas of Mylipps, vice president of the current fleet. will get unlimited meals at tweet their homework or test answers campus and promises to be a Communications Jargon. “At “The health benefits of our fine dining halls.” back to their professors. viable alternative to Facebook Tech, the sky is the limit, and this event will almost equal While work on Sting Rail “We think this is really an innovative ranting against blocked-off Sting Rail will literally take the environmental ones. We begins in the sky above, con- move in the right direction for re-engag- construction zones. us to new heights.” expect serious declines in stu- struction will continue on the ing students in their courses,” said Frank “We understand people The monorail also prom- dent stress levels,” said Brea ground. “Sting Rail will offer Lee Moronick, chair of S.T.U.P.I.D. are upset about the construc- ises to be a cornerstone of Themore, MD, of the Stress us a great opportunity to ex- “Students can now attend lecture with- tion blocking walkways— the Institute’s environmental Relief Clinic. pand construction to hith- out having to attend anything. It’s a learn trust me, we’ve received sustainability program. “Ev- Currently, plans are erto restricted campus areas,” anywhere system.” litigation notices,” said Ben erything that goes into the speeding ahead for the con- Hassled said. “Soon, students While some concern was expressed Hassled, director of Con- building of Sting Rail will struction of Sting Rail. Due will be flying high and we’ll by professors of more complex or non- struction Damage Control. be recycled,” said Mary Jane to the economic climate, all be free to make campus as standard subjects such as multi-variable “Sting Rail will solve all that. High, director of the Slow work will be done in-house unwalkable as possible below. calculus or history of film, most have em- It will elevate students above Campus Transport Program. to cut costs, so all engineer- It’s a win-win.” braced the change. “You know, even if I have to describe every scene of a melodra- matic, Lynchian film through hundreds of tweets, that’s fine,” said Simon B. Esse, a professor of Imaginary Cinematic Cri- tique. “I’ve seen these films a lot. I don’t SGABy Maximus plansPublican from to the holdheroes.” elections gladiator-style even have to be on campus.” Fierce Legislator The decision to change the Students are also embracing this election process was reached change despite the obvious difficulties. In an effort to increase in- after SGA representatives “Reading a complicated calculus formula terest in their upcoming elec- found it difficult to commu- spaced over 10 or so tweets on my phone tions, SGA has announced a nicate candidates’ platforms to can be hard,” said Alex Trecky, a third- new format for those running the Tech population. year Computer Savvy major. “But maybe for the office of president. As a result, students at the I’ll learn it better because I have to spend While campaigning and UHR meeting on Tuesday more time looking at every part.” polling for all other positions voted for a new way to boost Other students have come to grips will remain the same, the new student interest in the elec- with paying overages in their text mes- format for candidates running tions this year. saging plans. “I don’t really care that I for president will change into Out of ten choices, UHR have about a $200 or more text message a week-long SGA Gladiators narrowed down the choice to overage charge every month,” said Victo- competition, to be aired on three formats: Project SGAway ria Rich, a first-year Schematic Mapping GTCN. (in which candidates will be major. “I don’t have to go to lecture, and “We believe that in the face judged on how well they can since it’s for school, my parents pay!” of a tough economic crisis, we fashion a new Buzz mascot in Lesterman does admit that it is diffi- need a leader that is not only a week), Tech Survivor (can- cult for her to submit studio work for her smart, responsible and capa- didates would be stuck in an classes. “Yeah, it’s hard, but I just take a ble, but also physically tough,” Architorture studio for a week photo and tweet my professor the URL. said Clarke Kentwater, SGA and see who survives), or SGA It might be really blurry or off-color, but arbitrary protocol chair. “That By Photo Pugilist / Student Publications oh well, Twitter rocks!” way, we weed out the zeroes See Gladiator, page 2 Candidates duke it out in the ring for the SGA presidency. 2 • April 1, 2009 • Technique (NOT REAL) NEWS Gladiator from page 1 Gladiators. AIG buys out Bobby Dodd Stadium with bonuses SGA picked Gladiators “be- By Bleedin’ White & Gold cause it offered the most exciting Not a Sell-Out contest and promised to attract the most voters,” Kentwater said. After Paul Johnson’s first sea- In SGA Gladiators, presiden- son on the Flats proved to be a tial candidates will be required to rousing success, there was talk go on publicity runs, advertising among Tech fans that Bobby their every move through a char- Dodd Stadium should be re- acter persona instead of enduring named for the coach who brought the current campaigning process the school its first football victory of flyering and tabling. over Georgia since 2000. In addition, the debate will On Wednesday morning, the now be replaced by a 30-minute Athletic Association announced power round of three obstacles that it had indeed decided to chosen by the Tech population. change the name of the stadi- Obstacles can include everything um—but not in honor of Johnson. from the Joust, in which candi- Following the completion of two dates battle each other with com- months of contract negotiations, bat clubs while giving presiden- the Jackets will officially play their tial speeches, to the Altrasphere, home games at AIG Stadium next in which candidates navigate a season. course of miniature Wrecks from “We are pleased and excited inside giant steel and mesh balls to begin this profitable new era that they push with their bodies. for Georgia Tech football. I know Finally, candidates will be pit- our new partners at American In- By Sporty Shooter / Student Publications ted against each other in a tourna- ternational Group feel the same for the insurance giant to pay the On campus, initial reactions to or something like that.” ment-style battle for the position way, and I hope that this relation- school $10 million a year for the the news were mixed.

Load more

  32

Copy Link