The Puge Nd Tra L the Student Newspaper of the University of Puget Sound

THE PUGE ND TRA L THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF PUGET SOUND

VOLUME 96 I ISSUE 20 MAY 2, 2008

best a • :• :.:•:. : ....:•:•:.:•:•:-:-:•:.:•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•-• JESSICA BRUCE Clinton said she had spo- pus, a great portion of UPS students, faculty, and staff NEWS EDITOR ken to many college students about educational costs and canceled their normal daily that college education need- plans to see Clinton speak. ndoubtedly the ed to be made more afford- By 8 a.m. on the day of biggest event at able. the event, several hundred UPS this year was Clinton, who was a stu- people stood in line in front U dent of former UPS presi- of the Fieldhouse, waiting in the visit of Democratic presidential candidate Hil- dent Phil Phibbs while at a light rain for the doors to lary Clinton for a town-hall Wellesley College, said she open. Once the doors finally meeting in Peyton Memorial had "heard so many great opened shortly after io a.m., Fieldhouse on Friday, Feb. 8, things about this campus the line wrapped around the in anticipation of the Wash- over the years." entire block and beyond. ington state caucus. Plans for Clinton's visit Around s000 people, in- Addressing a crowd that were finalized the afternoon cluding students, faculty, consisted largely of regis- before her arrival, and the staff and community mem- tered nurses, Clinton pro- campus was notified by e- bers, attended the event, claimed her commitment to mail of Clinton's arrival. The nearly filling the Fieldhouse providing universal access event was not sponsored to capacity. to health care "from day by the university; Clinton's The decision to host Clin- one" of her presidency. She campaign rented the Field- ton's visit came last-minute, also stated her commitment house. after Clinton and chief rival to environmental protec- Professors taught to near Barack Obama remained at tion, mentioning the Puget empty classes that day, and a near tie following votes Sound. the campus buzzed with talk on Super Tuesday. Clinton "We can't do it until we get of Clinton's visit. Whether took 31 percent of the cau- the two oil men out of the supporting Clinton or excit- cus votes, while Obama took White House," Clinton said, ed to see a bona fide presi- 68 percent. to tremendous applause. dential candidate on cam- PROFESSORS TAUGHT TO NEAR -EMPTY CLASSES THAT DAY, is AND THE CAMPUS BUZZED WITH TALK OF CLINTON S VISIT

best place to have on campus

GLYNNIS KIRCHMEIER little foot traffic. Downsides silent and people sub- discarded materials from opportunities to be loud, include exposure to cold, mitting enraged Hey previous "study ses- paper towel dispensers, and SEX COLUMNIST dirt, and a long, exposed way You's about your con- sions." a variety of surfaces to try to flee, allowing your dis- duct. Empty classrooms or new positions on. Down- hen deciding coverer to get a good look. The sex towers in bathroom stalls in Jones: sides include a false sense of whether or You might want to check Smith and Schiff: quint- after regular busi- security and, as always, get- not to have the practice schedule before essential UPS public sex ness hours Jones is ting caught. As a side note, sexw somewhere on campus, trying this site. location! Upsides to virtually empty, save no matter where you have there are several factors to The library: it's pretty sex in these "study for theatre students your public sex, make sure take into account. Will we much classic. I hear the lounges" include who are general- you clean up afterwards. be easily seen or heard? Will fourth floor late at night cushioned surfaces ly too busy fig- The custodians do not get it be easy to escape? Is there is good, as well as the me- and an opportu- uring out how paid enough to handle your an easily accessible place to dia carrels. Upsides include nity to let out to put on 40 fluids. clean up, or am I going to plenty of literature to get your inner bazillion pro- The upstairs unisex bath- walk around feeling slightly ideas from, the friend who exhibition- ductions with room by CHWS in Whee- sticky? Do I really want my works there ignoring your ist. Down- only a hand- lock: there's so much traffic naked skin to touch that? lovefest location on rounds sides include ful of students in the SUB that you could be Whether the risk of get- students who to notice that discovered by anyone! This, ting caught makes your pants I hear the fourth may actual- the classroom for some folks, is awesome. a happier place to be, or floor late at night is ly want to on far end of the Again, after hours will afford you've just got to do it now, use these second floor has more privacy since there are good, as well as the rooms to its door closed. fewer people around. Up- or your roommate refuses to media carrels. I be sexiled, public sex may be study, doors Upsides include a sides include an easy clean- the way to go. Here's a run- that do lot of privacy (and up process, a lock, and a bar down on the best of UPS's not lock, a locking door if to hang onto. Downsides public sex spots: (if given prior warning), and and con- you decide to go include random discovery The baseball dugout: it's being able to check "sex in tact with the bathroom by ASUPS members (get to almost like having sex in a the library" off your list of stall route), know your elected student field, right? Upsides include things to do before you grad- officials!) and having sex a lot of visual privacy and uate. The biggest downside next to a toilet. Or on one. I is having to be absolutely Gross.

BEST OF THE BEST THE TRAIL MAY 2, 2008 2

••••• .•••••.•.• best frmitce : ben folds ••••......

MERISSA MOELLER a song from his new album, reminiscing about Hillary (Before He Sucked!)" I too in "Bitches," in a display to be released in Septem- Clinton's recent visit to the wished that Ben would per of how depressingly uncool A & E EDITOR ber, and he rocked straight Fieldhouse and envisioning form more of the Five mas- our generation is. Nothing through the next two hours. her head-banging to Moby terpieces, but I am grateful gives greater glee to twen- • knew that I had reached The set was well-balanced, and Ben's performance of for any chance to see his fin- ty-somethings, or people an unhealthy level full of crowd pleasers from "Narcolepsy." gers fly this far west. in general, for that matter, of Ben Folds obses- his solo albums as well as Most of the selections lent Highlights included than the opportunity to col- /sion when I nearly collided songs from the Ben Folds themselves well to participa- "Landed," "All U Can Eat," lectively shout "FUCK!" un- with an Amish buggy on my Five days of Whatever and tion by a screaming gymna- "Army," "Kate," the tradi- til they run out of breath, so way to his concert at Ohio Ever Amen and The Unau- sium of college students, but tional choral closer "Not the "Rockin' the Suburbs" was a Wesleyan University. It was thorized Biography of Rein- there were also a few songs Same," and, of course, his hit as well. snowing, the windshield of hold Messner. to appease the guy standing cover of "Bitches Ain't Shit." I am not generally star- the borrowed car I was driv- Pop icon Moby also showed next to me, wearing Ben's I was thankful to see that crazed, so sometimes I have ing refused to defrost and up for a while. While I'm not self-deprecating tour shirt only a few people whipped a difficult time remember I wasn't sure where I was a huge Moby fan, I enjoyed that says, "I Loved Ben Folds out their cell phones dur ing why I love Ben Folds going, but, honestly, it was so much. His voice is unex- the anticipation of seeing ceptional, he's not remotely Ben live that distracted me physically attractive, but his and almost led me to man- fingers are amazing. A friend slaughter. Even I can read commented that Ben must the warning signs of addic- have fifteen fingers to be tion. able to move that quickly. As The Ben Folds concert at far as pop pianists go, Ben UPS on Apr. 27 was another Folds is shockingly good. dangerously euphoric expe- And Ben Folds is also rience. There were at least the kind of guy who would four incidents where I for- launch into a five minute got to breathe or I decided lecture on triton substitu- to disregard the concept of tion and who would allude personal space and acciden- to John Cage's prepared tally attacked the man in pianos. Hearing Ben Folds front of me with my ecstatic explain to the entire Field- flailing. house why the fifth of the Ben entered promptly at chord is expendable made 8:3o p.m. (after a fun and my entire year. pleasant opening by Ben The concert was every- Lee) and he gave the audi- thing that I had looked for ence exactly what we had ward to all semester and no hoped for. He started with Amish people were harmed in its execution.

" " " " " " " " • " best tee: from the senior trail sta

Get to know your Three points, two while you're at UPS. borders of campus. It's easy sleep, and while working on professors, and keep about money. If at Alexandra Liddy to just hang out with the five hours of it can be fun for I in touch when the se- 3 all possible, don't get same people. Routines are a little while, it'll make the mester's over. Don't work a meal plan; it is technically GO BOWLING! easy to come by, and use- demons lurking at the edge in your room—the univer cheaper to use cash at the Get on the Thurs- ful for managing the hectic of your vision disappear if sity facilities have better SUB. Also, try to by your day night UPS Bowl- college life. But they aren't you're" on seven or ambiance, and you'll run books in advance over Ama- ing League. There's noth- worth it. Break your rou- eight hour of sleep. This is into more people that way. zon.com. It is a lot cheaper. ing, better than spending a tine, go out and do some- the only comfort that I find Attend campus lectures and Finally, you are in college to Thursday night drinking thing that makes you a little acceptable. All other com- events. Study abroad. Get learn, but not always from beer, hanging with your uncomfortable, that's a little fort is evil. an internship. Make friends your classes. friends and trying not to be unusual. Continue to break Brandon Lueken with people from lots of dif- Seth Doherty the team mate who doesn't down boundaries between ferent groups—you'll avoid break ioo. yourself, and the outside Choosing classes: I more drama. Be respectful 4 Make memories, Lauren Shatz world. Heed whatever piques Take care of all of of your roommates/house- rather than fretting your interest, and don't give 8 your core classes mates/buildingmates. Audit over school work. After dispensing ad- a damn about what anyone your freshman year. Choose classes for free! Appreciate Will you remember reading vice and UPS cultural else says. a major as soon as you can the sun when it's shining, for class or that awesome knowledge all semes- Because of this, I've got- and start working on it espe- and wear funky rainboots time you played in the snow? ter, and really, in my entire ten to do some amazing cially if you're in a popular when it's not. While writing papers, read- career at UPS (I was all over things. I wouldn't have been major. You'll be so relieved I Jessica Bruce ing and general studying IS the Meeting Place the sum- a Perspectives Leader, the senior year when you're tak- important, you only have mer before my freshman Editor in Chief of The Trail, ing less classes or more elec- Becoming involved 4 years here, so get out of year, people knew my name a director for Town Crier, tive classes that are fun. in everything possi- your room sometimes and before I ever knew them), or a part of Crosscurrents Live off-campus: it's com- 2 ble is the best way to have adventures! I was once again tapped to if I didn't keep trying to do pletely worth the money. enhance your collegiate ex- Cara Munson write a final piece of advice stuff. Sure, I got shut down Care: Get involved with perience. Through your par in my departure. After some by KUPS, Ubiquitous They clubs on and off-campus. I ticipation, you will not only Take advantage of the hard thinking this is what and ASUPS, but that's what You'll meet so many more expand your social network, resources on campus I have to say: don't get too it took. Those setbacks only people and you'll be mak- but you will also be afforded 5 that aren't available comfortable. Many of the led to some of the most awe- ing use of the opportunities the opportunity to identify after you graduate. such as serious social and academic some experiences that have here. your strengths. Take advan- CES or the writing center. problems that students en- made me who I am today. Have fun: So what if you're tage of this University and Attend lectures, concerts counter can be traced back Also: get some sleep. God a B student? At least you all it has to offer. and presentations that are to getting too comfortable. knows you are useless and made some great memories. Brian A. Ames easily accessible on-campus It's easy not to leave the unhealthy without enough Chelsea Taylor

1095 WHEELOCK STUDENT CENTER [email protected] TACOMA, WA 98416-1095 THETRAILNEWSPAPER.COM THE PUGET SOUND TRAIL (253) 879.3197 I FAX (253) 879.3661 [email protected]

CHELSEA TAYLOR EDITOR IN CHIEF KIM DILL-MCFARLAND FEATURES EDITOR NICK KIEST MARK DELBRUECK MANAGING EDITOR KATIE BREEN FEATURES EDITOR GM PHOTO SERVICES, LAUREN SHATZ BUSINESS MANAGER MERISSA MOELLER A&F EDITOR PHOTO EDITOR JESSICA BRUCE NEWS EDITOR LAUREN MOUAT ASSISTANT A&E EDITOR ••• KAPIOLANI STREET ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR TRAVIS HANCOCK COMBAT ZONE EDITOR DAVID DROGE CARA MUNSON OPINIONS EDITOR VINCE GHIRINGHELLI SPORTS EDITOR FACULTY ADVISOR 1 LAUREN FOSTER ASST. OPINIONS EDITOR TOM GLASSMAN SPORTS EDITOR ...... • • • ...... • .....

BEST OF THE BEST 3 MAY 2, 2008 THE TRAIL

• • • • • • letter 69rtihe edifor,cheisea jaylor. • .....•...•.•.•.•.•.•...•.•..•...... ear Rea ers and Anti- freshman. Just in the past bounced back as a team. so happy to see students, I'll take any participation Li Readers, year, the effect of a poorly- The Trail staff doesn't get faculty and staff reading The over no participation. This The year is coming to a themed party was felt across recognized as often as they Trail every week, and even University offers a multi- close and I'm freaking out campus, President Thomas should, but I would like to more so when I hear people tude of resources and op- more and more. You really signed a petition against thank you all for making discussing The Trail. portunities to be active in don't realize it, but college the Israeli boycott, ASUPS my year as Editor in Chief We're always accepting the university's community ends quickly. Take the ad- President Hart Edmonson a memorable and extremely Letters to the Editor. Please as well as the Tacoma area. vice of the seniors below and proposed a revolutionary positive experience. do not hesitate to at least We should all reflect on our take advantage of your time Sexual Health Proposal that The Trail's managing edi- write in! If our staff does involvement. at UPS. Have fun - you're the University was not ready tor, Mark Delbrueck, com- not hear feedback from our Seniors, it's the end of our only an undergrad once. for and a presidential hope- pletely changed the design readers, we aren't doing our era. Freshmen, it's the be- I still remember a life be- ful visited the Fieldhouse. of the paper to make it look jobs effectively. If you see ginning of yours. fore Facebook. When I was As far as The Trail goes, professional and "sexy." I structural problems with the Take care, UPS. It's been a freshman, the Thompson well, we've come a long way hired a mixed team of ex- way an organization is run, real. fountain was still available too. In the past year, various perienced and new section isn't it your job to at least for late night swims and Anti-Medias voiced their editors who showed their notify us, or better yet, get Harned wasn't even built opinions, albeit anonymous- dedication until the very involved to fix the problem? yet. Farrelli's and Garlic Jim's ly and gave myself enough end. The Trail's writers were I encourage all students to Pizza weren't built and The headaches to last a lifetime. courageous to investigate get involved with any one of Cellar was still a legit place The Hey You section was al- controversial pieces. the numerous organizations to hang out for pizza. most eliminated and turned To you, the reader: Thank on campus. Obviously, I'd However, UPS has come into a coloring page. But you for supporting a campus like more people to get in- a long way since I was a we've handled it well and organization. It makes me volved with The Trail, but

••• • • • • ••••••••:: :::: :::::: •••••••• most r : rise of the anti media

it folks. TRAVIS HANCOCK especially clever feature have been two issues of the ones created by the Cross- So, there you have was the "Fuck You" sec- Anti-Crosscurrents, each currents staff. Hate and dissatisfaction are COMBAT ZONE EDITOR tion (a cynical twist on the featuring fictional material in the air at UPS as we fin- popular Hey You section), intended to mock the real APRIL FOOL'S SPOOFS ish out the year. But before which took submissions Crosscurrents submissions. we leave you, we'd like to his past year, Puget from readers, giving them a The sad thing is that some S : As in previous offer a general reaction to Sound has seen un- chance to toss a "fuck you" of it is probably better than years, the rail put together the rise of the anti-media, t precedented levels of at some person or institu- some of the submissions a partially fake edition this because, you know, maybe general dissatisfaction with tion. The Anti-Trail seems they actually get. Each of year in celebration of April this whole thing is bigger the on-campus media. Yes, to hate just about every- the issues has featured cari- Fool's day. The result of this than UPS. Maybe it's the the intra-campus resent- one and everything, except catures of the corny, emo, was a showcase our stuff war in Iraq, or the tension ment levels have reached Ubiquitous They. experimental, and down- from the Combat Zone on caused by the Democratic and all time high which has Objective: In the be t idiotic forms poetry the front cover of the April primaries or the broken manifested in many new ning, it seemed clear that and fiction can sometimes 4 edition. Featuring sto- dishwashers across the student-run publications. the creators of the Anti- take. Along- ries about stolen cadavers, globe that piss people off We have seen the rise of the Trail want- side the written the Trail EIC as the creator For some reason there is a harsh and often hypocriti- ed to works, there of the Anti-Trail, and a kid lot of tension. It's palpable. cal Anti-Trail, the hilarious say the have who thinks its cool to not And this is a college cam- Anti-Crosscurrents, Tattler things be sustainable, the edition pus, all abuzz with intellec- spoofs, and very recently they felt created a fair amount of tual opinions and fervor — the arrival of the P.I.S.S. the Trail confusion (and giggles on a place where people want newsletter. These publica- was be- our end of the joke). to speak their minds. tions are, to some extent, ing too The ASUPS Tattler also Noting all this, there is a representation of a larger cautious featured a mock news flyer one highly ironic thing that critical sentiment currently this year, which had some we can't get over: that all pervading the campus. It funny moments. We fig- of these groups that are has become clear that stu- ured out that it was a joke against the Trail insist upon dents on this campus are about, when we read that CHWS anonymity. They complain not willing to sit idly by via sat- would be charging $7,000 about the contents of the when they think changes ire and for HIV testing. Trail that the staff is paid to need to occur. parody. Objective: To fuck with write, when there has been But how effective have However, people. a sign posted in Marshall these new publications this initial Hall for almost the entire been inprovoking those objective P.I.S.S. semester inviting people to changes? Where did they seems to apply to work for us. We fall short? Where did they have been been Summary: P. I .S.S., easily want the best possible writ- utterly fail? At what point swept under p h o mistaken for urine, is a new ing, the most knowledge- in our reading did we throw the rug, as ar tos, like pseudo-club on campus able opinions and the fun- our fists in the air and say, ticks like the that of with the name, People for niest comedians. We have "That's right! Tell it like pointed critique the infa- Influential Slander Silenced. an open door here at the it is!" At what point did of the Combat mous Papa Geor Just last week, P.I.S.S. is- Media House. we feel like crumpling up Zone (which in- sued their initial letter of So why all the secrecy? the papers and wiping our cluded very wel- Objective: The objective intent, which can be found You don't have to pre- SUB-food-stained assholes come feedback)gave way of the Anti-Crosscurrents on the Tacoma SDS web- tend like it's the 196os and with them? to simply malicious attacks, seems to have been to in- site. Basically, the organiza- you're saying some shit We, the Combat Zone, including racial slurs about crease the regular Cross- tion wants an upheaval of that's going to make people are here to give a whirlwind ASUPS candidates and currents' popularity. And the entire system" of news hunt you down. If you're all review of each Anti-pub- comics poising President based on the generally posi- on campus. Just when we so strong minded, why do lication in order to try to Thomas' head on the end of tive reaction to the publica- thought the Anti-Trail hat- you hide behind the veil of answer some of those ques- a phallus. Sure, some of the tion, they have proved that ed everyone, these guys say anonymity? I mean, you all tions. stuff is funny, but the mo- pretty much any attention that they hate the Trail and seem to have a lot of free tives of the Anti-Trail seem can be good attention. It is the Anti-Trail, on grounds time on your hands, and a THE ANTI TRAIL: to have lost their clarity in possible, too, that the pub- that they are both "poorly lot of very strong opinions these latter months. lication could have been a written and obsolete." — so why not work with Summary: The title of response to especially shitty Objective: As their group's us, and get paid to do it? this anonymously produced submissions this semester name infers, they want to Why demand for the entire publication is pretty explan- THE ANTI- CROSSCURRENTS or perhaps a plea for help silence all forms of slander, upheaval of the system, as atory of the contents. Hav- in their early funding crisis which they seem to want to if it is some distant enti I ing surfaced sometime in this year. Ultimately, the do by slandering the exist- when you can personally the middle of the Fall 2007 Summary: The people Anti-Crosscurrents seems ing forms of news-media. get involved and create the semester, this double-sided, over at Crosscurrents took to have been appreciated, How they intend to do this changes? Just thought we'd one page anger rag began its advantage of the momen- although there were prob- is entirely unclear. So far put it out there. If you were longwinded rant taking tum started by the Anti- ably a few pathetic souls printing up hundreds of personally behind any of big shots at us, the Com- Trail and decided to take that had the realization that flyers and strewing them the anti-media, we tell you bat Zone, and writing harsh shots at themselves in this they could not even write across campus has had little this: try to simmer down satires of Trail articles. One publication. So far, there poetry as good as the fake tangible results. and enjoy your summer.

BEST OF THE BEST THE TRAIL MAY 2, 2008 4

< best cc achievement •

VINCE GHIRINGHELLI head. However, an individu- enjoyment for the fans. But games of the national title. al does not carry a team. one game does not define a Monica Groves and Libero SPORTS EDITOR There are a few specific team's entire season. Rachel Gross (Santa Mon- games that also come to The greatest team athletic ica, Calif.) turned in solid s the ci7-08 school mind. A homecoming foot- achievement of the year, campaigns, capped off hall year and it's athletic ball victory over Willamette, however, goes to the wom- of fame worthy careers and competition comes volleyball defeating PLU in en's soccer, volleyball and led the team to their best a the western region finals, the basketball teams. There season in years. to a close, its fun for the Trail Sports staff to go through Crew teams overcoming tre- is no question that these The women's soccer team, the year and its accomplish- mendous adversity to domi- squads surpassed expecta- led by Janece Levien and ments and determine the nate the MeyerLamberth tions and entertained the Kallie Wolfer, by far had the greatest athletic achieve- Cup last week a n d Logger faithful all season highest ceiling of any Log- ments for the year. men's basket- long. Two of them even ger team on campus. They While there were many ball defeating made a run at national pushed themselves all year outstanding individual per- championships. and translated that effort formances, a few Logger The basketball team into a spectacular season athletes had spectacular was picked to finish second and lost in the semifinals to in conference play and prob- the eventual national cham- years and stood out, such as ably wasn't on anyone's radar pion. The future looks to be Janece Levien (Beaverton, in terms of upset potential. just as bright for this team Ore.) of the women's soccer They lost an All-American as they have plenty of young team, Monica Groves (Keiz- and three other upperclass- talent and contributors that er, Ore.) of volleyball, Zack men weeks before the sea- are still around. Stoddard (Los Osos, Calif.) son started. This team had The All Sports Trophy race and Emily Timmer (Tacoma, the makings of a disaster will be another tight one, Wash.) of cross country, Ja- from the first game, but with UPS leading Whit- son Foster (Tacoma, Wash) coach Suzy Barcomb kept worth by two points before of men's basketball, Mike the locker room together last weekend's final games. Olson (Niwot, Colo.) of and a cohesive squad won It looks as if Whitworth baseball and the four senior the NWC championship en will take the trophy barring women's basketball players route to an unfortunate sec- a strong push from the Log- Marissa Cain (Taco- ond round playoff loss. gers. ma, Wash.), Mor Volleyball was not given Congratulations to all the gan Harter (Ed- very much preseason re- success the varsity teams monds, Wash.), spect from conference have achieved. The campus Laura Hirsh (Cor coaches, coming in third is proud, and remember: vallis, Ore.) and both in the standings poll. They once a Logger, always a Log- Heidi Covington (Portland, earned a second place finish ger! Ore.) come off the top of my PLU and Wil- times lamette in two over were spectacles of and came within only a few

• . ...... ,...... • - ..... • - •'• •'• - • • . ...••• • • • • •-• • • ass of the year ...... ". ...... ... best ...... ...... • • • • •••••.•.-....:....:.:. ....•..•...... • • ......

.1:SUPS PHerrn CFR\ f I 11! ! !!!