Flash mobs romp throughout downtown SLO [29]

SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 1, 2009 • VOL. 24, NO. 8 • 88 PAGES • FREE • WWW.NEWTIMESSLO.COM Shredder Nuts [17]

SAN LUIS OBISPO C RTAINMENT WEEKLY Yours. Mine.

An account of a disorganized attempt Ours. to reclaim the local arts scene [29]

BY ASHLEY SCHWELLENBACH Autumn Arts Annual 2009

FILM Sheriff’s deputy arrested for driving drunk after brawl [6] Jennifer’s Dan DeVaul convicted on two of seven charges [6] Body: fun [61] Country star Merle Haggard will sing at Cohan Center [20] ➤ Starkey [20] ➤ Film [61] Arts ➤ Clubs [26] ➤ Arts briefs [67] BY ASHLEY SCHWELLENBACH Autumn Arts Annual Artifacts IMAGE COURTESY OF JAIME SMITH

Beer and art Firestone Walker Brewing Company will hold its 5th annual Oaktoberfest on Sept. 26 at River Oaks Hot Springs in Paso Robles. The event will be sponsored by Firestone Walker Brewery and Estrella Associates, Inc., and will again Comrades, benefit Hospice of San Luis Obispo County. Oaktoberfest includes activities from the Beer Olympics to the ceremonial tapping of the Oaktoberfest PHOTOS BY STEVE E. MILLER beer. Enjoy imported German fall in! beers, Firestone Walker beers, German varietal wines from local wineries, and authentic German cuisine provided by Old Vienna Restaurant of Shell Beach. Polka sensation Trio Internationale is set to play. The event will kick off at noon on Sept. 26 with the arrival of Firestone’s Oaktoberfest beer brought in via horse-drawn carriage. Tickets are $40 in advance or $45 at the door and include a collectible half-liter stein, two beer tickets, a German food f you’re curious, bored, or platter, and admittance to the entire event. Designated driv- creative and would like to ers can purchase tickets for Iparticipate in future events $15 that day, which includes a like the ones described in New food platter and non-alcoholic Times’ Autumn Arts Annual drink. Tickets are available (see page 29), contact Arts online at Oaktoberfest.com, Editor Ashley Schwellenbach at Firestone Walker Brewing Company (Paso Robles and at aschwellenbach@ Buellton), Estrella Associates, newtimesslo.com. To Watch us Inc., and Hospice of San participate in the next fl ash Throughout the summer, Luis Obispo County’s office. videographers—both professional mob, be at the New Times and amateur—documented six Sponsorships are still avail- parking lot (on the corner able. More info can be found of the events hosted by New by visiting Oaktoberfest.com of Marsh and Osos Street) at Arts Collective. To view these videos of summer flash mobs and or by calling Hospice of SLO 6:30 p.m. on Thursday, Oct. activities, visit www.youtube.com/ County at 544-2266. 1. Bring the lyrics to Journey’s watch?v=76Fc0L6RG-w and www. “Don’t Stop Believin.’” ∆ On Sept. 26 from noon youtube.com/watch?v=DF1ssChbppU. – 6 p.m. and Sept. 27 from More videos will be uploaded in the noon – 5 p.m. check out the Arts Editor Ashley next week, and can be viewed by running a YouTube search on New Art Glass Show at the Haub Schwellenbach can be reached at Arts Collective. Gallery at Morovino Winery, [email protected]. featuring the work of Carlos and Sophia Covarrubias of Rubi Glass in Arroyo Grande. The Covarrubias take inspira- tion from the vast natural beauty of the Central Coast as their hand-blown glass pieces feature organic forms such as pods, leaves, and seashells. The colors are drawn from nature’s palette of golden sunset tones as well as ocean and earth hues. Admission and wine tasting are compli- mentary. The Haub Gallery at Morovino Winery is located at 550 1st St. in Avila Beach. Info: 627-1443. ∆ —Christy Heron Autumn Arts AnnuA l 2009

Comrades, fall in Improv Everywhere meets Banksy meets small town in New Arts Collective

new times speciA l section GUERRILLA ART SHOW On June 14, the New Arts Collective hosted the Guerrilla Art Show at a con- struction site in downtown SLO; the effort was spear- headed by NAC member Neal Breton.

PHOTOS BY STEVE E. MILLER Autumn Arts Annual

BRIEFCASE FLASH MOB The firemen at the May 28 Farmers Market became part of the flash mob, holding and exchanging briefcases with New Arts Collective agents.

You’re either BY ASHLEY SCHWELLENBACH with us or you’rewith them ur experiment began in the spring. I would, woeful inability to recall names ensured that all I would I reasoned, recruit the county’s most talented remember were their faces. artists—those bored by landscapes, uninspired by Some people, I already knew. Jeff Claassen of the Jeff PHOTOS BY STEVE E. MILLER O the mundane, eager to liberate art from the customary Claassen Gallery; Neal Breton who now owns San Luis BRIEFCASE FLASH MOB Two New Arts shackles of stage and gallery. I began by sending a Art Supply; Amy Asman, a staff writer at New Times’ Collective agents exchange briefcases during barrage of e-mails to anyone I thought might fi t the bill. sister paper; Catherine Trujillo, special collections the collective’s first flash mob at downtown SLO “My goal is to establish a team [what I unoriginally call curator at the Cal Poly library; Robert Kaye, informally Farmers Market, May 28. my dream team] of people who are bored, creative, and known as Mayhem, a burner I met while writing about a possibly talented. Our goal is to brainstorm and execute bike art exhibit; choreographer Drew Silvaggio of Civic performance art and art installations around the county, Ballet fame. And, of course, Steve Miller, New Times staff photographer and reluctant collaborator. His role An experiment in art would be an important one. By referring to the effort as an experiment, I had prioritized process over the fi nal goes seriously awry product. For the effort to be successful, we would need to in as highly visible a manner as possible,” my e-mails of document every stage via text, photography, and video. April read. “The goal is to explore what possibilities art Then came the ideas. Almost immediately, someone affords when you take away the stage and canvas, to ask mentioned the concept of a fl ash mob. The question of how we defi ne art, and to question whether SLO has the what type of fl ash mob and where to stage it arose. We necessary critical mass for such projects.” would later fi nd that there are two distinct camps when It would be a glorious summer of art, discovery, and it comes to fl ash mobs: those who want to re-create camaraderie. In September, I would write about the something they saw on YouTube and those determined experiment, pronounce it a success or failure, and reveal to stumble upon an original idea, if such a thing exists the creative forces behind the summer of public art. anymore. Farmers Market was the most obvious location, It took me exactly three and a half months to realize being as how SLO isn’t equipped with a subway station how naive my plan really was. or any other space high in foot-traffi c. Rob’s camp, which consisted of Rob and a friendly The beginning, or dream team, FLASH MOBS continued page 32 activate! We met at the Sanitarium on May 14 at 7:45 p.m. Walking the pathway to the door, I was suddenly struck that the group might require a leader of some sort and, further, that having called them together in the fi rst place, I might be expected to fi ll that role. I had already wrestled with the concern that no one would come. We gathered in the white dining room around a rectangular table that couldn’t possibly accommodate the more than two dozen participants who arrived. Introductions went around, though my

GUERRILLA ART SHOW Artwork at the Guerrilla Art Show was priced to move; not only was the space accessible, but everything was free as well. FLASH MOBS from page 30 phenomena within view of the highway. Neal was particularly interested in group of girls also promoting a monthly establishing an impromptu gallery clown bar crawl, suggested the idea of somewhere in public, essentially swarming guerrilla gardening. Incidentally, I knew upon the selected location, throwing the art Rob would be a good addition to our team onto the wall as quickly as possible, and after I located his website, which features vacating the premises. Just about everyone a photo of the artist wielding a mammoth had their eye on Bubblegum Alley, though potato gun. Guerrilla gardening is the act we had no solid plan as to how we would of illicit cultivation of fl ora for the purpose incorporate it into our art. There was of beautifi cation. If Boy Scouts wandered also talk of statue reclamation: Knitting around town planting fl owers in public booties for the cat in the cat and the fi ddle, spaces, I expect they’d earn a badge; if Rob, dressing Puck, or placing unicorn horns whose hair is always a different color, and on the Mustang statue at Cal Poly. It should his team were caught placing plants in public spaces, I doubted that they would KNIT TAGGERS Neal Breton and Adriana be rewarded with badges. This also led to a discussion of crop circles, and whether Hernandez tag downtown SLO with colorful knitted it would be possible to construct such squares on June 24.

be noted that none of these ideas would have damaged the statue. If anything, as it turned out, people seemed to prefer the altered statues. They, at least, were novel. We had multiple and prolonged discussions about fi nding a way to pump the smell back into Abercrombie & Fitch. Anyone who has happened to stroll by the behemoth clothing outlet on Higuera Street would recognize the cologne wafting around, sometimes for blocks. Local police will cite you for noise pollution, but nobody seemed to be interested in resolving the issue of scent pollution. We fi gured we could gather on the sidewalk outside, KNIT TAGGING aiming dozens of fans in the direction of A knit tag adds a the store. It wasn’t a terribly scientifi c plan spot of color to an FLASH MOBS continued page 33 otherwise normal street scene in downtown SLO. PHOTOS BY STEVE E. MILLER PHOTO BY MAYHEM

FLASH MOBS from page 32 but, for the most part, we’re not terribly scientifi c people. When it came time to choose a name for our organization, we were at something of a loss. I had alternately been referring to the group as the dream team and mischief- makers. Neal suggested the New Arts Collective, which won the day. (“We’ve got a NAC for art,” someone quipped from the other side of the table.) I envisioned armbands, capes, and secret handshakes in our future. Then the question of how best to communicate. Bat signal was already taken, and it had been diffi cult

KNIT TAG APPRECIATOR Tourists were seen taking photos with the Hey Diddle Diddle statue after it was blanket- ed during the New Arts Collective evening of knit tagging. enough scheduling a single meeting, given everyone’s busy schedule. Rob offered to guerrilla art—at least we weren’t looking start a NAC listserv and we compiled e- to make any—but there’s an undeniable mails. That evening, at 9:44 p.m., we all purity and beauty to removing commerce received an e-mail welcoming us. A sense of from the art equation. uncertainty as to how to proceed was about Wikipedia defi nes a fl ash mob as “a to set in, but I didn’t know it at the time. large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an The inspiration, unusual action for a brief time, then quickly disperse.” Bill Wasik, a senior or a brief history editor at Harper’s Magazine, is credited of artistic mischief with orchestrating the fi rst fl ash mob in The Internet is exploding with examples 2003 to protest our culture of conformity. of what we hoped to achieve, people He sent more than 100 people to the rug developing new ways to be creative and department at Macy’s under the ruse that to share their work with the public. We should be well past the age when artists FLASH MOBS continued page 34 are forced to cater their work to galleries with available wall space. Granted, there’s no money in this amassing wave of Autumn Arts Annual PHOTO BY ASHLEY SCHWELLENBACH

PHOTO BY CATHERINE TRUJILLO RETRO DONUT FORMAL On Aug. 11 nearly a dozen donut-lovers assembled for a formal dining expe- rience at Sunshine Donuts. considerably less glowing, not to mention Dark days less accurate. FLASH MOBS from page 38 The Tour de Mitchell Park Hopscotch Marathon was scheduled for Sunday, Aug. a million-dollar insurance policy. They’re not 2. In my plans for the event, I pictured “I think our second attempt, where making this up a sunny day and a park filled with RETRO DONUT FORMAL Flash we became traveling SLO booksters, As we painted, installed, protested, and hopscotchers of all ages, most of them mobber Amy Asman, a writer for the was very successful. We had no clue if read, we apparently left a great deal of wearing ’80s workout attire. (I feel that it Santa Maria Sun, abandoned a kick- someone would have stopped us that day, confusion in our wake. Some people wanted should be noted that most of this scene, in boxing class in favor a donut. and it happened only in one location at an outright explanation for what we were my head at least, is in slow motion.) They’d Downtown Center. I’d still like to try to doing, and the people armed with even a hop for hours, circumnavigating the park, saxophonist performing in front of the see if we could do it again as originally little information about our experiment grabbing a cup of water from a table on the cereal, a duet taking place in the produce envisioned, whatever that means permit- often contributed to the confusion with grass without stopping, in their pursuit of section, a mariachi band drawing people wise. Catherine and I funded this all by even more mis-information. Our escapades hopscotching greatness. The more serious to the ethnic food section. For anyone who ourselves. The first permit we came up were embellished in future re-tellings, were hopscotchers—those sporting corporate had become bored with the tedious routine against was $65! The second was a million- sometimes belittled, and the term “flash sponsorships—would have angry coaches of grocery shopping, the musicians would dollar insurance policy. I am not railing mob” was suddenly everywhere. Outside with stopwatches who yelled at them. It be an unexpected and welcome treat. against anyone, I think this is what has media did not help the situation. was beautiful. Everything seemed to be going happened over the years as people have In its Aug. 6 edition, The Bay News The week prior to the event, I sent splendidly. Musicians were signing up, grown more cautious of organizing events.” featured our group, via its BCA FYI column out e-mails and distributed fliers. I also and they were enthusiastic about the A furniture designer and architect, submitted by Barnett Cox & Associates. requested assistance from anyone who non-paying gig. In mid-July, Catherine Chris Allen, constructed a special chair “OK, we didn’t make this up,” the write- could spend Saturday night in Mitchell received a phone call about the event, from specifically for the project. Catherine and up began. (I would take issue with that Park chalking the sidewalk. The night someone she thought was interested in Mignon wanted a piece that called literature introduction, because so many of the before the event, at 9:30 p.m., my boyfriend participating. The person turned out to be to mind, made you want to recline, book in sentences to follow contained inaccuracies and I arrived with two boxes of sidewalk affiliated with ASCAP (American Society hand, in its seat. It also needed to be mobile, or half-truths.) “A new artsy group called chalk. We were alone. of Composers, Authors, and Publishers), so that the booksters could roll it around Flashmob is recruiting people for wacky We re-adjusted the original plan of chalk- though we still don’t know how they knew. downtown without damaging the ing all the way around the park. It was Employee? Snitch? Spy? chair or their backs. too ambitious for two people. Instead, Because some of our musicians would be “The design needed to have a con- we chalked around the gazebo and performing works that they hadn’t written, nection to reading,” says the Reading down two of the paths forking from it. we were required to purchase a license for in Public blog. “The lid opens to form We could barely see the outline of what the event. No money was changing hands, a chair (and closes into a cube), and we were doing in the dark. My fingers we argued. Everyone was volunteering both seat and back rest gently curve Autumn Arts Annual blistered. The following day, I arrived their time. The sole purpose of the event at the hinge, which are all design ele- at the park at 11:30 a.m. with a regis- was to make people smile, maybe inspire ments drawn from the shape of books.” events around SLO. Like a hopscotch tration table, water, and some extra chalk. a dance in the frozen food section. Tough Every detail was deliberate: The colored marathon at Mitchell Park and an Mignon and her daughter showed up, along luck, an ASCAP representative named striations of the chair are a reference to impromptu highway offramp art gallery.” with Ryan Miller, his wife Sarah, and their Donna insisted over the phone. Anytime pages. Two rollerblade wheels placed in the “Sponsored by New Times and the New two young daughters. That was it. copyrighted music from their repertory is back of the chair ensure ease of mobility. Arts Collective,” the paragraph concluded. This was the point I conceded failure. performed, a license is required. We could Chris also crafted an ottoman, which Now, some of the above is true. We were a My hands were raw, the skin peeled from have purchased a license using funding doubled as more book storage, to fit into new arts-based group. We were recruiting. angry sidewalk chalking, and I had that from our own pockets, but our pockets the empty cube of space under the seat. But the name of our group was not sense of social failure that generally don’t run all that deep, and the entire The reading chair is contemporary and Flashmob. We were the New Arts Collective, accompanies getting stood up for a date. interaction left a sour taste in our mouths. beautiful, a throne befitting a contemplative which wasn’t technically sponsored by New “Don’t take it personally,” people told me, How could art be spontaneous, organic, and endangered pastime. Times. Yes, the arts editor had instigated knowing, most likely from the look on my grassroots, if expensive licensing was More than two dozen readers assembled the project with the purpose of writing face, that I did and do. It was nice to see required at every step of the way? downtown, starting with Sara McGrath, about it, but that was the extent of New the chalk the following morning, veering It would have been a grand concert, Bob Banner, and Jennifer C. Allen-Barker Times’ involvement. A flash mob is merely drunkenly down sidewalks without much quite possibly one of the best you’ve ever at the SLO Library at 9:45 a.m., followed one type of event we hosted, so thinking rhyme or reason. And it was nice to watch heard—and certainly the most original. by a reading at the SLO Little Theatre, and that’s the name would be like referring to Mignon and her daughter Hannah hopping But ASCAP had shut us down. then happenings at the Children’s Museum, Rotary as Chicken Dinner Barbecue. their way gamely through the course—on “Nothing happened here,” Catherine Blackhorse, Linnaea’s Café, parking me- It’s true that part of the fun of a very hot summer afternoon, no less. But wrote on her group’s blog. ters, the creek at the Mission, Bubblegum participating in New Arts Collective is the the joy of the event was lost, for me at least. “We admire and respect musicians and Alley, and elsewhere. We read memoirs, feeling of being in on a secret. We wanted Our flash mob scheduled for the Aug. composers and our intention has always plays, poetry, and short stories. James people to recognize unexpected things 6 Farmers Market was cancelled due been to do right by the arts community,” Darden was apprehended by security for were happening—beautiful, poignant, or to lack of participation. But the more she said. “Yet ASCAP’s fees and regulations singing at the Downtown Center. just plain funny—and to look for them, significant blow was our supermarket were insurmountable for a fledgling art Other media picked up interest in the maybe even consider creating a few of these concerto—Live! Aisle 9—scheduled to take collective.” project. The L.A. Times profiled the project moments themselves. But speculations place at Spencer’s Market on Sunday, Aug. On Aug. 10, someone placed a pin on my in August. A green design website called were often more absurd than the events 9. Catherine and I had been recruiting desk at work. It said, “Art goes where no re-nest also featured the event—and, themselves, and it’s difficult to recruit from musicians since May. We had a vision of a one has gone before.” But we haven’t really specifically, the chair—on its site. beneath a cloak of mystery. shopping experience in which a customer Our future media mentions would be would round a corner and discover a FLASH MOBS continued page 43 FLASH MOBS from page 34 was within the realm of possibility that this might be considered some kind of defacement. Similarly, if we dressed 15 adults as bunnies and sent them hopping down the street during Farmers, would security guards deem this act a disruption and act accordingly? Any time someone steps outside the boundaries of what is held to be normal behavior, they are regarded with suspicion. “Don’t get caught,” was the best I could caution. I also recommended writing all notes on tortillas so they could be consumed if the fuzz came after us.

The first flash mob, or briefcases galore In an effort to generate momentum, we scheduled our fi rst event—a fl ash mob—for Thursday, May 28. We assembled in the back patio at Linnaea’s

PHOTOS BY STEVE E. MILLER VAGUE PROTEST, FINAL SCENE The vague protest flash mob concluded at McCarthy’s where and then place them in public spaces, on we handed off our signs to a new parking meters, poles, and—in the case generation of protesters. of our intrepid gang—sculptures. The call initially went out on June 18, about a week before the event. The lost month, “I need a group of people interested in or the splitting of making the public signs, benches, fences, an infant art group and rails on Monterey a softer, more On June 9, I left San Luis Obispo—and colorful place to frequent,” he explained. my fl edgling art group—for a three-week “Evil yet artistic minions have been busy trip to Morocco. I left instructions for the creating colorful squares of yarn for us to artists to document their every project while adorn public property with.” I was gone, and to contact Steve so he could The knitting agents met at the Mission take photographs. I was to be slightly disori- and combed their way down Monterey. A ented by what I found when I returned. rogue group wound up on Marsh Street and outfi tted Hey, Diddle Diddle, the cat and the fi ddle statue, in an eclectic and The Guerrilla Art Show vibrant vestment. Most of the knitted goods VAGUE PROTEST Ryan Miller, a In mid-May, Neal began recruiting artists. were removed within less than 24 hours, participant in New Arts Collective’s “Greetings, Comrades,” he would begin his but in the days that followed, tourists were e-mails, in true militant fashion. “This is a vague protest flash mob, argues spotted taking pictures with the statue. call to those of you willing to sacrifi ce time, The term tag, though self-applied, might his points of protest with a curious paint, and canvas to the Guerrilla Art show.” passerby. carry some negative implications. But Neal The restrictions were few. Artists were to insists that these particular tags added to briefcase, without any verbal greeting or bring anywhere from one to four smaller the statue’s aesthetic appeal. Café at 6:15 p.m., 17 of us in all. Everyone indication of knowing the fi refi ghter. By works (no larger than 11-by-14 inches). “Most public statues are stodgy brass had been asked to bring a briefcase if the conclusion of the fl ash mob—everyone The venue, or “location of fi rst strike” as things that don’t mean anything to the they could, and to dress casually. We was instructed to report back to Linnaea’s Neal called it, was a boarded-up wall on the community,” he said. “We made it relevant had six briefcases between the 15 active at 7:30 p.m.—the fi remen’s mascot, a man corner of Chorro and Higuera. The response again.” participants; Neal operated my video in a dog costume, was in on the event. was next to nonexistent, so Neal followed camera and Steve took photos. Our this up with another call to arms, this Many of our participants reported Nothing Happened mission was to walk around, behaving crowd members asking them what was time in early June. Jeff Claassen threw his normally and carrying the briefcases, in the briefcases. A lot of witnesses weight behind the effort and a date was set. Here/Reading in Public which we would casually pass to other reacted to the briefcase-swapping with On Sunday, June 14, at 10 a.m., the artists When I left for vacation, I left one participants. Yes, we sort of stole the idea a combination of shock and horror, of New Arts Collective would bring the art healthy, growing (I hoped) art collective. I from action/ suspense fi lms. By 6:30 p.m., most likely believing they had just to the people. Literally. returned to fi nd two. I’m still not exactly our agents (to borrow a term from Improv witnessed some illicit event. I had The artwork went up quickly—stencils, certain how, when, or why it happened. Everywhere) were in the street. instructed everyone to fi ll the briefcases sketches, and paintings. It came down Meioses perhaps? Here is what I do know: We were uncertain at the beginning with something absurd in case security pretty quickly, too, as a blue banner at Catherine Trujillo and Mignon Khargie what the parameters ought to be—Farmers insisted we open them. the entrance to the impromptu gallery started an effort called Nothing Happened Market covers a long stretch of Higuera, From the start, Steve took issue with announced “ART SHOW, FREE FOR THE Here (nothinghappenedhere.com). They call and we wanted to make maximum visual the premise. He can be heard in the TAKING.” Fortunately, there were no their operators, not agents, but situational impact. Most of the agents had never met video ranting to Neal (the video camera arrests, or even harassment. curators and interventionists. Catherine before, so eye contact became an important operator), “The point of all this is that you “I think with such a mob out there, we and Mignon would meet early on Sunday means of establishing the intention of have this stuff going on and everybody’s looked just legit enough that people thought mornings at Big Sky Café to plot out their handing off a briefcase. We didn’t want to like, ‘What the fuck is going on?’ and we were allowed to be there,” Claassen relat- creative endeavors. The fi rst of these was make the mistake of grabbing some poor then it’s over with. It’s a fl ash mob!” He ed, via e-mail. “It was awesome. One police to be the fi rst installment of Reading in passerby’s paperwork. would contend, throughout the entire car even drove by, and I don’t think he even Public (get it? RIP?) on Thursday, July 2, at Within half an hour, the fi remen, summer, that none of our events were slowed down to see what was going on.” Farmers Market in downtown SLO. who were stationed with their truck actually fl ash mobs. He may be correct, “Reading in Public is a direct response at an intersection, had caught on to but whether or not our activities fell under Knitting tags to the current state of the written word,” what was going on. One admitted he the strictest defi nition of fl ash mob was Running on momentum from a Mignon explained in an e-mail. “Dying had initially suspected we were drug never my primary concern. successful guerrilla art show, Neal again newspapers and failing book publishing dealers or terrorists, but then dismissed The second we returned to the café’s mobilized the creative troops for a knit- houses, an explosion of online blogs, and both notions. There were too many of patio, I heard someone exclaim, “That was tagging event on Wednesday, June 24. the emergence of the 140-word tweet as us, and, well, this is SLO. What kind fun!” I think we were all a little giddy Knit tagging is pretty much exactly what an increasingly leading means of written of terrorist has so little ambition? One with the feeling that we had just gotten it sounds like: Artists knit various pieces communication, and the sober realization of our agents (Garrett Parker) gave a away with something or were in on that in recessionary times we’d fi refi ghter a briefcase and told him to a particularly juicy secret. I thought, choose not to buy a book.” see what happened. It wasn’t long before at the time, that it could only grow another agent came by to collect the from there. FLASH MOBS continued page 38 Autumn Arts Annual PHOTO COURTESY OF NOTHING HAPPENED HERE FLASH MOBS from page 37 READING, AND SINGING, IN it in my head, and it looked damned cool. Participants met at Linnaea’s at 6:45 p.m. PUBLIC James Darden is apprehended But in my head, we also had 30 to 40 people. This particular effort would have to Each wore a letter which, together, spelled by security during his Reading in Public be categorized as a failure. out “readinginpublic.com.” They brought performance on Aug. 1. books. They engaged in what can only be described as a playful and joyous literary Reading in Public: orgy. It was not to be the last. Mignon and Installment two Catherine were unquestionably among the The first incarnation of Reading in most active artists working in the public Public went well, and the second was sphere, though no longer working under better still. But neither event met with the designation of the New Arts Collective. Mignon’s original vision of the project, primarily because her vision came with a The second meeting, hefty permit fee. This was an issue that or an attempt to Ryan, as our leader. Sarah with two-month- our experiment would encounter again restoke the fire old Tilly in swing. Ashley was rabid. “What and again: Despite the fact that our events weren’t generating a profit and despite I had judged the first meeting a success won’t you take?” people called out. To which, Ryan disdainfully answered, “What the fact that we were investing time and by the proliferation of ideas and enthusiasm. energy for a seemingly pure motive— But in the following weeks, the missing we’re protesting!” Along Higuera Street, people making people smile—bureaucracy did not element of the equation was action. So, smile kindly on us. I called a second meeting, scheduled for cleared a path for us and took photos. Some questioned us, usually with an “The original concept for Reading in Thursday, July 16 at Neal’s newly opened Public was a round-the-clock, multi- day, San Luis Art Supply store. Our numbers had anonymous shout. Some muttered about conspiracy theorists. A few cheered. “I single location event, where the Reading dwindled considerably: We had about a dozen Chair would be accessible to all,” Mignon people. I brought a calendar, convinced that guess you pick your issue,” one woman PHOTO COURTESY OF NOTHING HAPPENED HERE supposed, which seemed like a good READING IN PUBLIC Linnaea explained. “We wanted to sign people up on- the act of setting a date for our various line for 15 to 20 minutes at a time, and have events would mobilize people. Over the metaphor for our times. Phillips participates in Reading in At one point, we attempted the chair peopled by a continuous stream course of an hour or so, we scheduled Public at Humankind. to chant, “Oh no they didn’t” of readers. Think about how powerful that flash mobs through the end of summer, would have been, to have this beautiful a Tour de Mitchell Park Hopscotch which is not only difficult employees. We didn’t stand much of a shot to chant, but immediately chair, out in public, always with a reader on Marathon, another impromptu gallery at making the desired visual impact, but its seat. The plan was doused by process and display, a flash mob at the Sunset Drive- engendered mockery from we had the shirts, so we figured we’d give In, and a sculptural assembly. Non- the crowd. “Oh yes, they did,” it a try anyway. The yellow shirts gathered FLASH MOBS continued page 40 present members were people said, rather gleefully. at the southern end of Higuera, while the notified of these events We rounded down Broad Street reds looped around. We would meet at toward McCarthy’s, where we TOUR DE MITCHELL PARK via a listserv e-mail. It the Chorro intersection. Which we did. HOPSCOTCH MARATHON was going to be a hectic Everything went as planned, which meant Mignon Khargie and her daughter, READING IN PUBLIC, August. that six people took off their shirts during Hannah, are the sole hopscotchers PART TWO Chris Allen a crowded Farmers Market. I had pictured during New Art Collective’s failed designed this chair in con- Second hopscotch tournament on Aug. 2. junction with Reading in Public; flash mob: on Aug. 1 readers sat in the The Vague chair while reading aloud. Protest PHOTO COURTESY OF NOTHING HAPPENED HERE Once again, we left our signs with the patrons. rendezvoused at 6:30 p.m. in Forget arming the homeless—we were the New Times parking lot. mobilizing the drinkers. It was the perfect Our gang was small: photographer Steve ending to the perfect protest, the bar’s Miller, Neal on camera, myself, Ashley the regulars waving their new signs at us as Baby Snake, Ryan Miller, his wife Sarah, we turned down Marsh and headed home. their two daughters, New Times Staff Ryan’s favorite march moments: “After Writer Colin Rigley, and Matt Foote. We marching down half of Higuera, we picked up Matt’s girlfriend, Kris Blaze, stopped to briefly rally in an intersection and one of Ryan and Sarah’s friends along and decide our next chant. “Let’s do ‘No the way, swelling our numbers to eight way!’ again,” I suggested. “That really adults—which is actually fairly respectable gets our message across.” Several people for a protest in SLO. All participants were walking by shook their heads. instructed to bring a vague sign of protest, “At the end of our march, a woman and I gutted out cardboard boxes to create a walked up to Lindsey, who joined our dozen or so signs, just in case people forgot protest spontaneously. ‘What’s going on?’ to bring their own. Among our complaints the woman asked. ‘You’re either with us or and frustrations were: “No more lies,” “A you’re with them,’ Lindsey told her. ‘Then travesty,” “unethical,” “No more,” “Not in I’m with them,’ the woman said.” my backyard,” “Oh no they didn’t” and—my personal favorite—“It’s very preposterous” (carried by Matt). Flash mob the third: Someone approached Neal, who was Colored shirts operating the video camera from across the Everyone was instructed to wear two street. He wanted to know what we were shirts—either a red or yellow on top, with protesting. Neal insisted that he didn’t an orange shirt underneath. In theory, par- know what we were protesting; he was ticipants would be divided into two camps. merely present to ensure that our rights Those wearing red shirts would gather weren’t violated. at one end of Higuera, and those wearing We ambled to the corner of Marsh and yellow would assemble at the opposite end. Osos for a warm-up. Ryan would start the Slowly, the groups would approach one an- chant. “No more! No more!” we shouted over other, crossing paths at a designated inter- and over, developing a rhythm to our cries. section. Everyone would remove his or her This transitioned into “No more lies!” and, shirt while passing, revealing the orange eventually, the more challenging “1, 2, 3, beneath. They were instructed to say that 4! We won’t take it anymore!” Passing cars they had gotten too hot, if anybody asked. sometimes honked, but mostly people just But the turnout was less than inspiring: seemed confused, and a few people stopped seven people in all, including the to actually challenge our point. “What are photographer. Four of us were New Times you protesting?” they wanted to know. Our response, depending on who delivered it: “The facts support us!” “Open your eyes!” And Ashley (nicknamed the Baby Snake) would shake her sign at them and insist, “I think you know!” We marched toward Autumn Arts Annual Higuera with varying degrees of militancy.

PHOTO BY ASHLEY SCHWELLENBACH T-SHIRT FLASH MOB Flash mob participants removed their red or yellow shirts as they passed one another at a busy Farmers Market intersection, revealing orange shirts beneath.

PHOTO BY STEVE E. MILLER T-SHIRT FLASH MOB More than in all. They sprayed the shoes posed for a photo with a live bull, so we two dozen people assembled in the red and placed them in the knew she’d be a good sport. For the groom, New Times parking lot on Aug. 20 to alley, walking them from one we used Colin Rigley, a New Times staff prepare for a flash mob that involved PHOTO BY STEVE E. MILLER wall into the other as though writer. He was probably the most reluctant taking off their shirts at Farmers after the energy charge of the last perfor- worn by a fashionista ghost participant, though it must be acknowl- Market. mance, but once the wedding party had not at all restricted by silly human inhibi- edged that the role of a groom abandoned cleared out, the dancers stepped into the tions like walking into solid surfaces. How by his bride is hardly appealing. FLASH MOBS from page 43 center of the plaza. They performed “React” long the shoe trail lasted is unknown, but Brent, wearing a suit, pretended to be the whirling of legs and arms, culminating in a for the third time in as many hours. People for however long they remained, the shoes wedding videographer and documented the brief solo. Sometimes cars would drive by. A stopped to watch, some of them for the were an unexpectedly vibrant and fashion- confusion with my camera. Real-life wed- few waited for the dance to conclude before entire piece. Others came and went. When able addition to the city’s least hygienic ding videographer Matt Zolynsky also vid- navigating between the small audience and they fi nished, Drew told them they had a landmark. eotaped, and Steve was on hand to take pic- dancers. It might have been annoying that minute before the next piece, “Kanshaku,” tures. Matt served as groomsman, Rebeka people refused to stop and watch so remark- and then they were back in front of the Flushed Levin and I were bridesmaids (by virtue of able and beautiful a sight as a troupe of well- wide steps leading to the mission, danc- the fact that we both wore purple dresses), ing the choreography they had performed Botanical Garden Dora Mountain, who works in New Times’ trained dancers in a parking garage, but the That same day, Catherine’s daughter vehicles rushing by became part of the per- at the top of the parking garage. Another production department, was our distressed minute, and then came “No Children,” Cruz installed a “botanical garden” in the wedding planner. Thomas Athanasion was formance—they helped establish a context restroom at the Madonna Inn. “Flushed for Portable Dance Assembly. which they were performing for the third an enraged father of the bride. All told, our The performance on the parking garage wedding party was comprised of slightly was supposed to happen at 1:30 p.m., but more than two dozen people. the performers were fi lled with energy and We assembled in the parking lot at 6:30 we found ourselves pushing through from p.m. and briefed everyone on what would location to location. The next was supposed be happening. At 6:50 p.m., our bride, Sally, to take place at the Downtown Brew parking would go dashing through Farmers Market lot at 2:30. Drew was concerned that the tex- in her wedding dress. Two minutes later, ture of the asphalt would tear into the danc- the two bridesmaids would follow, trying to ers, particularly in the phrases that involved fi nd her. Two minutes after that, the groom a lot of ground contact. So, instead, we found and groomsman would follow. And a few minutes later, the rest of the wedding party ourselves on the sidewalk at the corner of PHOTO BY MIGNON KHARGIE Marsh and Broad Streets, near the 7-Eleven would join the hunt. Each wedding guest parking lot. Drew was nervous to say the was told to react to her fl ight from the wed- least, quite certain that our performance of ding in the manner they thought appropri- “No Children” would be interrupted by some ate for their character. Some supported the authority or another. This nervous energy was to serve as an amazing creative catalyst. BUBBLEGUM ALLEY INSTALLATION “Let’s just do it,” he said, and his friend The Nothing Happened Here duo added some swept the sidewalk while Drew set up the color to Bubblegum Alley with a shoe installa- radio. On the street, the dancers slid sum- tion on Aug. 23. mer dresses over their heads, and began the performance with a playful, childish walk to the bitter sing-song Mountain Goats groom, others the bride. The fact that we song “No Children.” Traffi c fl owed as the would all hit Higuera at different times girls leapt and kicked, rebelliously, power- and move through the crowd at different time that day as well. While they danced, paces allowed each wave of wedding guests fully. “I am drowning/ There is no sign of Botanical Garden” consisted of a basket land/ You are coming down with me/ Hand a jet fl ew by. And then they walked off the to evaluate whether market attendees were nonexistent stage to applause. fi lled with bright blue fl owers placed above convinced of the authenticity of our event. in unlovable hand,” the lyrics seem to pull the toilet paper dispenser. A sign attached the listener downward, even as the dancers Most of the people who had watched didn’t It would all end at 7:10 p.m. at McCarthy’s, know who they were applauding, but the fact to the fl owers stated “Established August where our distraught bride would round the scaled higher and higher in a performance 2009”. The mother/daughter artist pair sat so charged it could never be repeated. When of the matter was that they had experienced corner and accept a ride from an unknown something unique and invaluable. Little and watched as people exited the bathroom. stranger (New Times staffer Glen Starkey) they fi nished, Drew let out a nervous and Catherine later called the tourists’ elated laugh. He had never seen them dance 2-year-old Hattie hurried over to one of the on a motorcycle. The groom would arrive dancers, Chloe, to offer her a fl ower, instinc- expressions “priceless.” It was guerrilla just in time to watch her ride off. like that, he said. Perhaps public street per- gardening with a bizarre twist, the perfect formances were the way to go. tively fulfi lling one of the more traditional Timing was a key issue. We had to hunt conclusions to a dance show. installation for a SLO-based institution that our runaway bride, but couldn’t actually “I feel like if the police had come to make has a reputation for being somewhat quirky. you stop, you just would have kept on danc- catch her. Also, smiling was strictly off-lim- ing,” he said. Red shoes, or the its—and Colin insisted, right up until the Runaway bride event, that he would giggle. So they did it again. It was simply that Bubblegum Alley amazing. After the second performance, we We staged our fi nal fl ash mob on Thurs- Before taking off, we assembled for the trekked to Mission Plaza for a fi nale perfor- make-over day, Aug. 27. I had spent the weeks leading standard wedding party photos. Then, Tan- mance that would include each of the three The morning after Portable Dance As- up to the event recruiting a phony wedding ya booked off to a few cries of “Sally! Sally!” dances already presented. We found a wed- sembly, Mignon and Catherine met at Bub- party. Our New Times receptionist, Tanya Rebeka and I had agreed to bicker while ding party on the steps leading to the mis- blegum Alley at 6 a.m. to fulfi ll an aim that Gallardo, would be our bride, “Sally.” Tanya we hunted for the erstwhile bride, each sion and decided to wait. Drew didn’t want many of the artists had been toying with has a background in theater and once blaming the other for allowing her to es- to steal the bride’s glory. since NAC’s fi rst meeting: an instal- cape before the ceremony and loudly “She might try and pull my weave,” he lation in SLO’s gum-riddled corridor. exclaiming that we couldn’t blame her joked. The pair had been collecting high- for abandoning Raul (our phony groom It was a rough 20 minutes of waiting heeled shoes for some time: six pairs FLASH MOBS continued page 46 Autumn Arts Annual FLASH MOBS from page 44 RUNAWAY WEDDING PARTY New Arts Collective name)—but couldn’t understand why she had staged a runaway wedding party flash mob on Aug. to do it on her wedding day. We were defi- 27; this is the phony wedding party. nitely drawing attention, but were initially uncertain as to whether people connected the to laughing during the entire project. two girls in purple dresses to the bride who We all turned toward McCarthy’s with had dashed through two minutes earlier. one minute until the bride’s great escape, A security person asked us why we were but were disappointed to find that she had dressed up. “Wedding,” I said curtly. “Have left literally seconds before we arrived in the you seen a bride?” He immediately pointed parking lot. Our groom had missed out on down Higuera Street, brightening a little. As his final moment of despair, and the entire we wandered for nearly 20 minutes, dash- wedding party gathered to loudly conjecture ing into stores, people would often point us where Sally had gone—and with whom. in the bride’s direction without us having to At the tail end of the procession Ryan and ask. Matt and Colin caught us pretty quickly, Sarah toted 2-year-old Hattie, who was one with Brent on their heels, everyone perfectly of two flower girls. They talked worriedly in character. Most passersby looked amused, about the runaway bride and occasionally a few downright gleeful, and some worried. queried whether anyone had seen her or At one point, unasked, someone pointed the wedding party. Apparently the tale had out that the bride was hiding behind the already been embellished because people door at Marti’s. We had to chase her, or it reported that men in tuxes had been sighted would have looked strange, but were wor- running down Higuera. No one in our wed- ried about cornering her. Reluctantly, we ding party was wearing a tux. The groom, PHOTO BY STEVE E. MILLER entered the bar, Rebeka hovering around in fact, had not even shaved, an oversight he with a mix of genuine concern and the Maybe when the Cal Poly students come, the door, while I dashed around tables, would be called out on by numerous people. self-satisfaction that comes with helping a people said hopefully. I began envisioning calling out “Corner her!” Fortunately, she Here’s his account of the day: distraught groom. the cover of Autumn Arts: a giant, wilted dodged around a bit before disappearing “I ran up to a mustachioed man who “As we reached the finale, the same guy paintbrush. “WHY WE FAILED,” it would into the street. It was the closest I had come was wearing a tattered baseball hat and an in the hat was there. He pointed me in the say, in bold lettering. equally casual T-shirt and jeans ensemble. right direction; this time he was in a truck But to label the grand experiment a FLUSHED BOTANICAL “‘Have you seen a girl in a wedding and I hadn’t asked for help. Had he been success or failure at this stage would be a GARDEN Nothing Happened dress run by?’ I asked between gasps af- following us? disservice to the people who invested time Here—specifically Catherine and ter running in a full suit and tie down a “We get to McCarthy’s only to see an and energy in the project. Did it go as I had her daughter Cruz—established a crowded street. empty parking lot and a patio full of hoot- planned? No. But few things ever do. And “He looked at me with a slight smirk. May- botanical garden in a restroom at the ing drunkards. It was genuinely confusing that is the beauty of an experiment—the be he was in on the joke, maybe he couldn’t Madonna Inn. and humiliating: Where the hell did she go? ability of the results to surprise. believe his luck that he got to see a runaway That bitch left me? Several people have pointed out that few bride, or maybe he was just enjoying a “Whether real or staged, it’s hard to movements or organizations achieve suc- stranger’s agony. He pointed up the street. brush off the less-than-consoling jeers cess in a period of three or four months. “‘She’s got about a 10-minute lead on you,’ from the typical weekday McCarthy’s It can take years to build momentum, to he warned. ‘You better hurry.’ crowd. Some raised their glasses in what establish a presence in the community, to “I managed to jog a few steps before I I could only assume was either condolence expand people’s concepts and definitions of heard his voice again. or ridicule. Most just laughed. One woman art. Another factor that must be taken into “‘You gotta run faster than that.’ stood proudly with two middle fingers account is the season. Both Cal Poly and “‘Wow,’ I thought, ‘I really am a shitbag. I held high.” Cuesta College are out of session during the deserve to be left at the altar.’ summer, and general consensus seems to “This happened a lot. Stop a stranger, ask Success or failure? be that the student population is a natural them if they saw the fleeing bride-to-be, and demographic for our efforts. see the slight disgust when I didn’t sprint I’ll admit that I had despaired in August. I was tired, and the promises of May and I don’t believe anyone who participated but instead casually trotted away. had any regrets about their role. In fact, “‘You didn’t even shave?’ one guy sneered June were falling through, one after the other. The only people I head from anymore when asked to evaluate our efforts, this is when I asked for help. what they had to say: “It was remarkably easy to convince were Mignon, Catherine, Neal, and Matt. And Neal was busy opening his own store. people this was real. Their faces were filled FLASH MOBS continued page 47

PHOTO COURTESY OF NOTHING HAPPENED HERE weekly, and acknowledged that the practice enabled them to accomplish Autumn Arts Annual as much as they did. Francisco and L.A., they have “It’s like an ‘I’m sorry’ message similar groups, and they con- board right now,” Neal said, describing the tinually evolve and devolve and listserv messages. “’I’m sorry, I’m working.’ rotate because there’s a whole ‘I’ve got to wash my cat.’” lot of crazy motherfuckers in those towns. In some ways, Pushing forward? SLO is just too polite for some Whether New Arts Collective survives kinds of artsy shenanigans, but its fi rst winter is a matter of uncertainty, I think what [we] accomplished largely dependent on the level of interest here was just their speed. It was from potential participants. Everyone has enough to give pause. It was an idea, but fi nding people willing to trans- enough to shake up people’s late ideas into action is the true challenge. days and send them home with a The local art scene needs more collaboration smile thinking, ‘Dude, I just saw and whimsy, less red tape, and greater vis- some crazy shit at the Farmers ibility to the public. Market.’” If art is to be all of the things its practi- PHOTOS BY STEVE E. MILLER Of course, even without label- tioners imagine it to be—awkward, beauti- RUNAWAY WEDDING PARTY ing the endeavor a failure, it ful, truthful, clever, wild, courageous, a The runaway wedding party flash makes sense to assess what might have homecoming, accessible, satisfying, tender, mob concluded when our bride been improved. Leadership was always an mysterious—and still more besides, it can’t hopped on a motorcycle driven by issue. In the beginning, I expected someone be bound by commerce and boards or con- would organically emerge as the group New Times’ Glen Starkey. fi ned to galleries and stages. It must belong leader. I even had a few theories as to who to everyone. Our experiment in art became that leader might be, but it didn’t happen. It FLASH MOBS from page 46 an experiment in living creatively: Would took a good two months for me to realize I people make time for art? Would they live “It was not a matter of success or failure,” would have to try to step into the role, but with it on an everyday basis? Would they Catherine wrote. “We have a spectrum of my inability to outright tell people what collaborate for its sake? As it turns out, artists and arts here in San Luis Obispo to do made me less effective than I might that’s not a question I, or anyone else, can County, and I see this experiment as more otherwise have been. My reluctant leader- answer for an entire community. ∆ a means of communication and interaction ship certainly led to some confusion. I had between the artists, their work, and the RUNAWAY WEDDING PARTY A theorized that artists would naturally reject Arts Editor Ashley Schwellenbach is ex- community. It was more than determining the imposition of structure or authority, but hausted but still recruiting. Answer her call what is and isn’t classifi ed as art. Collabora- desperate groom, Raul (Colin Rigley) and embarrassed groomsman, Matt, what we wound up with was a wishy-washy at [email protected]. tion itself can be considered art. pattern of pushing forward and then can- “I was privileged to work with a small pursue the bride through Farmers Market. celing events. group of artists who were willing to say, ‘It The second challenge was our com- is self-evident that nothing concerning art went along, students were getting back to munication method. In our relying solely is self-evident.’” on the listserv, people simply disappeared For Neal’s part, if pushed to give the ef- town. Craigslist was picking up—we eventu- ally had some great turnouts. I think in a into some void, like socks in a washing fort a grade, he’d assign it a C+ or B-. But machine. You could send out an e-mail he acknowledged that the attempt was a college town there is always critical mass for something, as long as it’s school season and requesting help with a particular project, necessary one. and the only response you’d get back was “The good part is that it became a part of only as long as you can keep their attention on a given day. So that’s what could make crickets. Or an echo. In order to create a a conversation that we needed to have about sense of accountability, we should have been the staleness of the arts scene,” he said. “We it successful in an ongoing way, is having a core group of people who geek out on this meeting regularly—at least twice a month. brought art to the common man, whether Catherine and Mignon had been meeting he liked it or not. This is our scene to take stuff, and an ever-evolving cast of people who get swept into the maelstrom and spit care of, and it’s also our scene to nurture.” RUNAWAY WEDDING PARTY Our bride, Matt had his own take on the effort as out the other side. “It’s a small town, we made due, and I Sally (Tanya Gallardo) dashes to freedom, well, specifi cally our pursuit of critical mass. through a busy Farmers Market. “It got there,” he said. “Especially as we think it came off well. In places like San