THE PRIMARY SOURCE The Journal of Conservative Thought at Tufts University Volume XIV Number 1 VERITAS SINE DOLO August 30, 1995 TruTh

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INTRODUCTORY MEETING: 8:30 PM Wednesday, September 6 Zamparelli Room (#112, Campus Center)

2 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 THE PRIMARY SOURCE The Journal of Conservative Thought at Tufts University Vol. XIV No. 1 August 30, 1995

CONTENTS

Departments

FROM THE EDITOR 4 COMMENTARY 6 FOOL ON THE HILL 5 FORTNIGHT IN REVIEW 8 NOTABLE AND QUOTABLE 24

ERR JORDAN JUMBO PROPAGANDA STEVE SELTZER COLIN DELANEY Jordan and Ewing team up against ownership. The Tufts administrators load the Viewbook and other players’ union and management are chasing after loose publications with subtle racism. 15 balls and the fans a left at the foul line. 10 CHIP OFF THE OL’ BLOC JESSICA SCHUPAK Computerized mommies? The federal government Special Section thinks that the V-chip can replace parents. 17 Orientation FREEDOM POINT Spectacular! ANANDA GUPTA Libertarians are an appealing and intelligent choice Beyond First Glance to more traditional political movements. 19 Partners in BLOWING SMOKE Crime BUDDIE JO DIFONZO Re-Orientation Liberals are spreading lies about the tobacco indus- try while Clinton inhales. 21 * THE SOURCE guide to campus hot spots. * Tufts personalities pair off for crazy rules and silly antics at students’ expense. KKK, Ph. D. * Extend that hand! Exceed that grasp! COLIN KINGSBURY Academics are so blinded by race favoritism that is Pages 11 - 14 just racism in reverse. 22

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 3 THE PRIMARY SOURCE THE JOURNAL OF CONSERVATIVE THOUGHT FROM THE EDITOR AT TUFTS UNIVERSITY Colin Delaney unyielding. We do not trade niceties Editor-in-Chief Last June, the US Supreme Court for reality. When an article or editorial ruled that the University of Virginia singles out a specific person or action, CAMPUS ISSUES could not refuse to allot student activi- it is simply because there is no reason Buddie Jo DiFonzo / Editor ties funds to the evangelical Christian to sugarcoat improprieties or unfair- student publication Wide Awake. The ness. NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL ISSUES Court decided that it was unfair for We at THE SOURCE are relentless in Jessica Schupak / Editor agents of the state— in this case the our desire to make a point. Our goals public university— to arbitrarily with- reach far beyond that of merely pub- hold support from Wide Awake or the lishing another issue; our drive to ex- ARTS AND GRAPHICS campus conservative journal The Vir- pose unjust actions and deception Julie Rockett / Editor ginia Advocate, while supporting oth- stems from care for the subject matter. ers. But the Court’s ruling is just part In THE PRIMARY SOURCE you will find of the story. Conservatives at UVA few favorable notes stricken for Tufts. PRODUCTION face near-constant financial pressure This strategy does not rise from an Colin Kingsbury / Manager from members of student government insidious dislike for the university, who do not agree with their point of rather a reverence for the values it once BUSINESS view. In fact, this was the second time espoused and dismay at what it has Ananda Gupta / Manager The Advocate had its funding revoked. become. Liberal-arts colleges and uni- All the while, the treasury awarded versities such as Tufts used to cite as CONTRIBUTORS monies to other groups with a decid- their highest cause the discovery of edly exclusionary and very political truth and the execution of justice. To- Benn Lieberman / Jayne Wellman perspective, including the Muslim day, however, Tufts has dismissed Reuben Gulledge / Dan Glasser League and other separatist minority these ideals so that it may be regarded Chris Zappala / Richard Marshall groups. by the P.C. crowd as one of the nation’s Lena Mindlina / Naveen Malwal The situation at Tufts is parallel. leading schools. The university’s once Anna Papadopoulou / Mark Dorn Last year, money raised by the Stu- rigid foundation of Western Civiliza- Doron Stember / Edward Havell dent Activities Fee filled the coffers of tion requirements has crumbled. Dis- groups such as Voice For Choice, tribution requirements are now pad- which organized a bus trip to Wash- ded with easy courses and culminate Steve Seltzer / Editor Emeritus ington, DC; the radical Pan-African with instruction in “A Sense of Place.” alliance which celebrates the collec- It is this rejection of the principles that tivist political holiday Kwanzaa; and educated generations that we so vehe- FOUNDERS the Progressive News Collective’s mently oppose. Brian Kelly / Dan Marcus Free Association which advocates the Attempts by administrators and violent overthrow of American soci- students to prevent THE SOURCE from ety. Perhaps it should not come as a disseminating its contributors’ opin- surprise, then, that a number of sena- ions are emblematic of Tufts’ disre- THE PRIMARY SOURCE IS A NON-PROFIT, STUDENT PUBLICATION OF TUFTS UNIVERSITY. THE OPIN- tors voted— without stated reason— gard for the staple of liberal education: IONS EXPRESSED IN ARTICLES, PHOTOS, CARTOONS, OR AD- to reject THE PRIMARY SOURCE’S bud- intelligent, free discourse. Censorship VERTISEMENTS ARE SOLELY THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL get. policies are only six years behind us, AUTHOR OR SPONSOR(S) AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE EDITORS OR THE STAFF. For quite some time, THE S OURCE’s and attempts to revoke funding for the THE PRIMARY SOURCE WELCOMES ALL LET- opponents have argued against pro- conservative viewpoint are omnipres- TERS. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO EDIT OR TO DENY PUBLI- viding us with university funds, not ent. It is with the utmost care for and CATION TO ANY LETTER BASED ON ITS LENGTH AND CON- because we are conservative— that concern with the university’s current TENT. AUTHORS ARE REQUIRED TO INCLUDE THEIR NAME AND PHONE NUMBER. ANY LETTER TO AN INDIVIDUAL would be too obvious— but for our to state that THE P RIMARY S OURCE attempts AUTHOR CONCERNING WORK PUBLISHED IN THE PRIMARY journalism. Since we are a journal and to engage students, administrators, and SOURCE MAY BE PUBLISHED ON THE LETTERS PAGE. do not proclaim objectivity, our professors in an exchange of ideas that PLEASE DIRECT ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: exposés of individuals’ actions are might, one day, help us all find truth. [email protected] or THE P RIMARY S OURCE, MAYER C AMPUS C ENTER, TUFTS U NIVERSITY, MEDFORD, MASSACHUSETTS, 02155. ©1995

4 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 FOOL ON THE HILL necked Carter was able to take time out of her busy schedule to For the first time in SOURCE history, we have no choice but to arrange for our return to campus-- after Matriculation, and at a crown simultaneously two Fools on the Hill. President John cost of $25.00 per day. DiBiaggio’s cowardly and dishonest abandonment of intellec- The issue was not nearly as complicated for the Housing tual principle merits a first place tie with administration Office. They required only a note from the President to stablemate, Dean of Students Bobbie Knable, who allow us entry to our rooms. Given the opportunity to callously relies on a bloated bureaucracy to promote promote free expression, the spineless Spartan chose her personal political agenda. not to. Rather, DiBiaggio passed the buck to henchman As President of a university that espouses dedica- number three: Dean Bobbie Knable. tion to the ideals of free exchange and scholarly Knable, armed with her Bachelor’s in Music as the enterprise, it is incumbent upon Johnny D.D.S. to administration’s last line of defense, could only blame allow for and encourage the expression of all view- the faceless Orientation Committee. In the Dean’s points. Plaque-man himself does not publicly dis- mind, her position as a ranking member on that commit- agree. Last fall, the Shalala crony even personally tee did not give her the authority to change the policy. guaranteed that he would work to accommodate Rules could not be so readily changed, despite the fact that SOURCE writers during orientation. Tufts students had nowhere to live. In subsequent meetings, President Polident Avoiding the issue, the melody maven argued that we re-asserted his pledge, only to instruct his staff and other media did not perform a service for her orienta- members to renege on the promise or pass the tion program. Since student publications are not subject responsibility on to another official. Enter hench- to committee review, we are not welcome on campus man number one: Dean Jean Herbert, Chairman of during orientation. Selfishly and foolishly, Bobbie Knable the Orientation Committee. Although Herbert is believes that her orientation games and rules take prece- considered a rising star among rule-making uni- dence over a university’s commitment to higher learning. versity administrators, she could not effect a The Dean of Students and the University President are change in the existing policy (which bars all of the same shady lot. Their devotion to rules and campus media groups– among others– from regulations overrides their so-called commitment to obtaining orientation housing). According to creating a campus that is a marketplace for the ex- the Dean of Delay, henchman number two– Veronica change of ideas. Music and medicine have never mixed so Carter was in charge of the arrangements. The stiff- poorly.

Everything THE PRIMARY SOURCE You Always Get the finest (not to mention most forthright and telling) account of affairs at Tufts and elsewhere delivered to your doorstep. For just 25 dollars you can receive a full academic Wanted to year’s subscription (14 issues) via first class delivery. YES, I’ll support Tufts’ Journal of Conservative Thought. Know About Enclosed is the $25 subscription fee for the next 14 issues. Enclosed is a tax-deductible contribution of $______. Name Tufts* Address City, State, ZIP Make checks payable to: THE PRIMARY SOURCE, Mayer Campus Center, *But Were Afraid to Ask Tufts University, Medford, MA 02155

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 5 Commentary long traffic tie-ups on the Southeast Expressway, Storrow Drive, Advance to Jumbonet Routes 24 and 128 were the result of re-allocation by the state of millions of federal tax dollars earmarked for improvements re- President DiBiaggio is due for some rare thanks and commen- lated to the Central Arterry/Harbor Tunnel project. The state dation. As promised, the University has completely renovated redirected funds away from downtown Boston because it feared Dewick-Macphie and refurbished suites in Latin Way. Although that, if not spent, the new Republican Congress would demand all of these and other recent improvements are long overdue, the Massachusetts return the bulk of its public works pork barrel. student body will be grateful nonetheless. Although creating jobs for residents of Massachusetts is a Tufts has also joined the 90s by wiring the residence halls with worthy societal goal, the misappropriations are entirely uncalled direct internet access, cable, and university phone service. Previ- for. Governor Weld’s statements to the contrary notwithstand- ously, only Miller and South Halls enjoyed e-mail hook-ups and ing, paying people to dig holes and fill them up again is completely Jumbonet, and cable is a completely new addition. President pointless and does nothing to create wealth. For months, all of DiBiaggio ought to be lauded for keeping his word; he promised those men standing on the roadside late at night under police students that the job would be completed by the end of the summer protection tore up the pavement on perfectly good roads, regarded and barring natural disaster, students will have these services upon the surface, and poured a new layer of asphalt on the top, where arrival. the old one used to be. The highway little improved, the workers There is a note of caution, though. The University is Medford’s moved to the next stretch of concrete and repeated the same original Rich Uncle Penny Bags and may abuse its power at the purposeless assignment. cost of students. The Uni- All the while the government versity now has monopoly paid state troopers double-time to on campus phone and cable keep a watchful eye on the proceed- services and can run the ings. And in the only state in the game however it desires. The nation to require police presence at possibility that Tufts, with- roadway worksites, Massachusetts’ out competition, will charge finest sat in cruisers sipping coffee; above-market rates and pro- and on big projects which required vide poor service cannot be three officers, a supervisor was paid overlooked. For instance, still more money to “supervise” his Jumbonet can charge more fellow officers. Governor Weld had than NYNEX for perks like call-waiting or even not provide them a chance to repeal the police presence law earlier this year, but at all. Tufts Communications may also overcharge for local calls renegged on his pledge to do so under intense pressure from in order to recoup the cost of installation. In the end, students unions. While residents of Massachusetts sat in traffic, they were might be sorry for having pleaded for connection. mugged by their highest elected state official. It is not unrealistic that Tufts will be a monopolistic Jumbo- tyrrant given its handling of the bookstore and Hotung Cafe. The Back and to the Left Barnes & Noble overcharges students for supplies because it is free of on-campus competition. Although students can go else- Oliver Stone leads an all-star squad of civic-mined liberals, where for school supplies and do not need to sign up for Tufts including Jacques Derrida and Jesse Jackson, to fight “injustice.” cable, phone service is practically a necessity. Hopefully, small This time he’s not after Wall Street-types or even GOP icons, conveniences such as individual phone bills, four-digit dialing, instead he is crusading to exhonerate convicted cop-killer Wesley and separate internet jacks will not come at the cost of outrageous Cook, a.k.a. Mumia Abu-Jamal. prices and disappointing service. While driving a cab in 1981 militant journalist Abu-Jamal came to the defense of his cab-driver brother who had been pulled Weld’s Latest Folly over for driving the wrong way down a one-way street. As the officer and Mr. Cook were quarreling, Abu-Jamal stopped to Over the course of the summer, the Metropolitan District participate and without delay fatally shot Officer Daniel Faulkner Commission and various Departments of Public Works employed in the back. In self-defense, the patrolman returned fire and hit the hundreds in a myriad of roadway improvement projects. Hour- former Black Panther in the chest. With eyewitness testimony and ballistics evidence, the state sentenced Abu-Jamal to death. Jus- tice had been served— temporarily. Last semester, THE PRIMARY SOURCE twice reported that now- departed Political Science Lecturer Lisa Brandes had not been With the radical’s execution imminent, Stone and company awarded her Ph. D., as the Political Science Department hand- resorted to improbable conspiracy theories in their effort to free book indicated. After publication of the last issue, it came to our Abu-Jamal. They cite the evidence of a medical examiner who attention that Prof. Brandes received her degree in November claims that the fatal bullet was a .44-caliber; the murder weapon of 1994. We regret both errors. found at the scene was .38-caliber. Coroners, however, are not weapons experts. The experts consulted during the trial concluded

6 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 that the bullet was in fact a .38. Abu-Jamal sympathists also blame education programs of the US, and grant adolescents worldwide a supposedly biased judge and an incompetent court-appointed unlimited “sexual freedom.” Hillary Clinton calls this attorney. Attorney Anthony Jackson’s cardinal sin: failing to call deconstructionist rally a “celebration of families”; never mind witnesses who could confirm the “frame-up.” Neither the Pennsyl- that Beijing is a misogynist tyranny. vania Supreme Court nor the US Supreme Court have found Also overlooked in the first lady’s rush to Beijing is the fact credibility in any of these spurious claims and have rejected all that until one week ago the Chinese government detained and appeals. threatened to imprison an American citizen, human-rights activist With the help of a full-page New York Times ad and avid Harry Wu, on fabricated charges. Mrs. Clinton threatened to campaigning by Europe’s intellectual elite, murderer Mumia’s boycott the conference as long as China held Wu. Now that he has supporters were able to secure an indefinite stay of execution ten been released, all is forgiven, and Hillary has rejoined the days before his scheduled death. Those that champion Abu- convention’s roster. Beijing had no business arresting and detain- Jamal’s cause must recognize that neither his journalistic back- ing Wu in the first place, but for radicals like Clinton forgiveness ground nor his skin color excuse his heinous crime. Apparently comes easily. ethics are not a consideration of the arrogant literary crowd, as the By going to Beijing the Clinton Administration grants tacit approval to a ruthless regime that impris- ons one fifth of the world’s population. The Clintons’ zealous defense of a woman’s artificial right to an abortion comes at the expense of her God-given right to bear children in Communist China. For the Clintons, politics come before all else. In the land of Mao, the First Lady should fit right in.

Booted from Boot Camp

After only three days, Shannon Faulkner announced that she was dropping out of the Citadel, with her “head held high.” Her inability to complete even a day of training casts many doubts on the real motives behind her quest to assert her “right” to attend the Citadel. Her actions while attending the school and the state- ment she made upon withdrawl indicate that her only mission was obtaining a political victory. fact that Abu-Jamal never denied commiting the crime does not Shannon Faulkner said her desire to attend The Citadel was impede their “cause.” Completely devoid of merit, the eleventh rooted in the unique military experience that the school provided. hour attempt to gain a new trial to avoid a “political execution” is Compared to other reputable military academies such as West overtly unjustifiable. Point, The Citadel’s only unique feature is that it is all male. Not unique to the South Carolina school, however, are physical fitness Clinton Conferences with Communists requirements. Whereas well respected institutions take these standards seriously, the Citadel was ordered by a judge to waived After months of wavering, the First Lady has made it official: them for Miss Faulkner. she will head the US delegation at the United Nations Conference If she truly wanted to succeed at The Citadel, she would have on Women this fall in Beijing. China seems a curious place for a focused more on getting in shape for the “Hell Week” she knew conference on women’s rights, as part the Communist dictatorship’s awaited her. Indeed, she had been attending classes for twenty depopulation strategy forces mothers to abort every child after months while she awaited a ruling on her suit to enter the corps of their first. In a culture that favors boys over girls, this policy results cadets. Furthermore, Faulkner fought to be exempted from the in many gender-selection abortions and sometimes the outright policy which requires cadets be hairless. It seems that Miss infanticide of newborn girls. Faulkner’s vision of “the Citadel experience” bears no resem- But the Beijing Conference is a hotbed of radical activism that blance to the education and training males receive. The single the Clinton administration, its matriarch in particular, cares not to greatest indictment of Faulkner is her own words: “It is unfair for miss. In China, the UN will expand the number of genders from me to kill myself just to make the political point.” two to five, demand that other countries adopt the failed sexual-

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 7 Fortnight in Review Comedy is allied to Justice. Looks like the Cabbage Patch Kids might have to share the –Aristophanes spotlight. An anonymous toy manufacturer will soon release a Kato Kaelin doll. Pull a string and it lies for you. This year’s catchy orientation slogan is “Extend Your Hand, Exceed Your Grasp.” Doesn’t that cause blindness? Today show golden boy Bryant Gumble is in a tiff with his upstate New York neighbors. Joan Huggins said a toilet in the A handicapped woman had her annual pass to Disneyland morning personality’s barn is overflowing: it isn’t hooked up to a temporarily revoked after speeding through the park in a motor- septic system. And we thought Bryant was content with spreading ized wheelchair. The Disney police also punished the reckless his manure on the air. invalid by ordering Pocahontas to scalp her. Following hours of heated debate, a West Virginia school Photogenic former presidential candidate Gary Hart is con- board voted to ban grape juice, saying that it stained the clothes of templating a return to the political scene. Donna Rice’s boy toy has messy youngsters. Welch’s is delighted with the decision; it didn’t hinted that he might run for his old Colorado senate seat in 1996. want to chance a $3 million lawsuit. A successful Hart campaign would give comeback a whole new meaning. An overwhelming majority of this year’s Miss America Pageant contestants-- those who could read the ballot-- voted to Who said the northern lights were the only worthwhile sight keep the highly controversial swimsuit competition in the contest. in Alaska? Two native teenage girls caused quite a commotion by The anti-bathing beauties opted for a double-bagger competition engaging in a nude mudbath next to a local highway. The car instead. nearly crashed into an igloo.

A nutty California professor was sued by 24 neighbors for keeping large piles of trash in her yard. The good educator prom- ised to remove the academic journals right away.

Over the summer the Washington po- lice and Secret Service raided a DC townhouse from which someone called the White House warning he had a “score to settle with President Clinton.” After blaz- ing through the door, police discovered two aging hippies growing marijuana plants and harvesting hallucinogenic mushrooms. Madison Guaranty must have forgotten to send the check.

After spending her last welfare dollar on a lotto ticket, a Houma, Louisiana, nurse hoofed down to the Since leaving the big house Mike Tyson has been sporting a local handout bureau and applied for food stamps. Hours later, she tattoo of Mao Tse-Tung. He now has a murderer on his arm to received her rejection letter and a check from the Powerball for match the one at his side. $100,000. The Clinton administration hails the nurse as yet another welfare-success story. Police officers in Italy cited the owners of a trattoria for Hakeem Olajuwon will meet Shaquille O’Neal in a one-on- housing 67 eleven-pound bags of dog food they were serving their human patrons. They had renamed the puppy chow “Chicky- one match at Donald Trump’s Taj Mahal to be featured on pay- Chicky.” per-view television. Thankfully, this Trump promotion won’t feature a fat, Massachusetts, single-digit IQ townie. A New Hampshire seven-year-old stole a 1989 Ford Escort Expect Shaq to be wrapped in a cocoon of horror. and attempted to drive the vehicle to school so that he would not be late. He didn’t want to miss his ethics class.

8 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 The right-wing media is at it again. Congresswoman Barbara A federal court has upheld the cocaine conviction of Kevin Rose-Collins of Michigan charged the Detroit Free Press with Elders, son of the former Surgeon General. Elders the younger racism after it made mention of her African attire in an article thus faces several years in the slammer. We’re sure his mother will about her frequent absence from legislative sessions. Ain’t that a have some good suggestions as to how he can enjoy his time in bone in the nose. solitary.

When Clinton went whitewater rafting his staff refused to Rudy Giuliani has commissioned a study to develop an index refer to it as such. They called it rafting, etc. Here are the top ten of mental health for New York City. After six months, however, other Clintonian euphemisms: staffers are still working away at the complicated chapter on David Dinkins. 10. Adultery -- Grownupery 9. Lying -- Reclining Oprah Winfrey is close to purchasing the late Jacqueline 8. Draft-dodging -- Tourism Kennedy Onassis’ 500-acre Massachusetts estate. That should be 7. Ethnic Cleansing -- Civil War big enough for her. 6. Money Laundering -- Assets Cleansing 5. Waffling -- Breakfast Pastrying 4. Criminal -- First Lady Michael Jackson is being sued because his stretch limousine 3. Asassination -- Suicide struck a sixteen-year old boy. Now that the authorities have barred 2. Insider Trading -- Treating You Like Family the hasbeen pop icon from seducing tykes, he’s taken to running 1. Butcher -- Attorney General them over.

Tufts’ Monte Carlo Night is pretty darn unrealistic. Instead of Judiciary update: Eric and Lyle Menendez will once again greenbacks the freshmen gamble with Monopoly money. The stand trial for murdering their parents. Once the trial is over the whole show is run by Indians, but they’re from New Delhi. boys should have no problem getting into Tufts.

Presenting the fifth annual PRIMARY SOURCE Innocuously Offensive Statements.

Expression Whom it Offends Category of Offense Once upon a time Amnesia victims We forget... Crazy like a fox Mentally challenged wildlife Reddism Only time will tell The tardy and uninformed Postinfochauvinism Mad as a hatter Haberdashers Aliceinwonderlandism He who laughs last, laughs best The fat lady Roseanneism Cute as a buttom Snaps and zippers Fastener Favoritism Black as night Day Nocturnal Othering Time for change Dollar bills Currencyism Solid as a rock Limp boulders Impotpierrism Walking on air Jesus Christ One-upmanship Larger than life Obese celebrities Limelight overexposure If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em Wife-beaters Goldmanism Hit me with your best shot Peter McNeely DOAism We aim to please Randy Weaver ATFism Too good to be true Relativists Ammonsism You only live once Hindus Reincarnophobia If you only knew The ignorant Dailyism Give me a break TV viewers Nellcarterism Winning isn’t everything Perennial losers Liberalism Standing room only Quadriplegics Handicapriciousness A picture is worth a thousand words Illiterate photographers Mapplethorpia Milk it for all that it’s worth Cheap dairy cattle Lactomisery Two left feet Siamese twins Joinedatthehippism Lying through your teeth Dentists Bagsism Tougher than nails Rivets Hardwarism Piece of cake Pies Pastryism

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 9 Err Jordan Steve Seltzer The Art of the Deal ceded the luxury tax and agreed to numerous Professional basketball players seldom The pursuit of an NBA championship exceptions for player signings and salary applaud any official’s ruling that deter- would satisfy the professional ambitions increases. The imminent decertification vote mines the outcome of a competitive con- of most aging megastars. Patrick Ewing, will determine ratification of the agreement test. National Basketball Association ref- though, has decided to play the role of and, consequently, the start of the NBA erees know to put their whistles away dur- labor leader. Last June, Ewing and Michael schedule. Nevertheless, Michael Jordan is ing a game’s final minutes. Fouls and dis- Jordan decided that the new six-year col- still not content. The league’s perennial qualifications should not overshadow a sport lective bargaining agreement that is predicated on its athletes’ speed, negotiated by the NBA precision, and determination. Players de- Player’s Association and mand freedom from intrusive interference team owners was unfair. The Officious intervention, however, in order to perform at their optimal level. pact gave players 57 percent appeals to NBA superstars when Officious intervention, however, ap- of all revenues (up from 53 it guarantees them inflated peals to NBA superstars when it guarantees percent), created limitations them inflated salaries. Michael Jordan and on rookie salaries, and added salaries. Patrick Ewing have put their professional a luxury tax. Dissatisfied rivalry aside so that they may pursue the with the terms of the agree- more noble goal of manipulating union ment, Ewing and Jordan called for a vote MVP has vowed that the new agreement will politics to elicit undeserved financial con- to decertify the union. Without the union, be rejected as a result of union decertification. cessions from team owners. Claiming that a new agreement cannot be reached. The the current union no longer ne- The Free Market: It’s Fantastic gotiates in the players’ best in- Michael Jordan’s ability terests, Jordan and Ewing head to defy the law of gravity does the season-threatening move- not grant him license to defy the ment to decertify the NBA laws of economics. Strong- Player’s Association. armed collaborative tactics do His Airness and company not guarantee players desirable are careful to point out, however, salaries or job security. Super- that the decertification movement star ballplayers command lucra- opposes only the existing player’s tive contracts regardless of a union. Michael and the union’s presence. The Jordans Jordanaires remain very much and Ewings of the league will committed to the principle of or- earn what they are worth to their ganized labor. The decertification respective teams because they movement, under the guise of are exceptional, invaluable concern for the league’s lower commodities. They owe their paid players, has adopted a new salaries to their talent, not to the Jordan rule— twist management’s NBA Player’s Association. arm by making outlandish de- Jordan and Ewing will mands that jeopardize the upcom- readily admit that the union is ing season. of little benefit to them. They Jordan, Ewing, et al. have claim that they are campaign- concocted a losing game plan; ing to help the lesser talented security for players on the lower players earn more money. Unions, however, rungs of the pay ladder cannot be achieved absence of an agreement prevents the start only serve to restrict the salaries of the NBA through the union. Disbandment must re- of the upcoming season. working class. Members of organized labor place decertification for players to attain In what NBA Commissioner David gang up on management and find ways to the salaries and protection they seek. The Stern described as a last-minute attempt artificially raise wages. The collective bar- NBA salary system, however, is not con- to save the 1995-96 season, the player’s gaining process is the tool used by most trolled solely at labor’s behest. Ownership union and owners negotiated a new agree- must also embrace the free market by elimi- ment. Facing the possibility of losing an Please see “NBA,” continued nating the salary cap. entire season’s revenues, ownership con- on page 18.

10 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 SPECIALA SECTION BeyondBeyondBeyond FirstFirstFirst GlanceGlanceGlance Many things at Tufts are misnamed (Cousens Gymnasium and Wessell Library, for example). The following is a list of campus insititutions that don’t live up to their billing. . .

Study Abroad . . . Alcohol and Health You don’t do it in a Education . . . women’s studies No samples, no recipe class, Hustler, or for the perfect Martini, even in PSY 55: not even a warm keg “Human Sexuality.” of Schlitz.

Experimental College . . . Bush Hall . . . The only reds here are the Just a dorm guys, teachers. just a dorm.

Oxfam Snack Bar . . . You get more than a grain of Knipp Physics rice. Reading Room . . . F≠t&a.

Trios . . . Just one. Ginn Library Tufts’ Sex Talk ...... Is not a 900 number; just a Imports from group of do-gooders who clad London bananas in condoms for fun. include only The Econo- mist and The Financial Times.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 11 SPECIALA SECTION

Although your bursar’s bill makes no mention of it, a portion of every student’s tuition goes toward the salaries of professors and administrators who subjugate Tufts’ academics to promote their political agendas. In the confines of their luxurious offices, the fol- lowing characters team up and concoct ways to waste time and money. They are truly:

The Bags & Bernie Show High atop the Hill in the comfort of their grandiose Ballou Hall suites, waffling univer- sity President John DiBiaggio and sniveling sycophantic sidekick I. Melvin Bernstein draw up the game plan for a host of conniving henchmen to execute. The pair are truly the brains of the operation, though they never let you know it.

Dumb & Dumber And you thought deans were smart. Guess again. Reitman was a psych major and Knable only has a Bachelors in Music. Bruce and Bobbie are undermined by their own incompetence and are responsible for the torture called Orientation. These two bumblers have been around longer than the ghost of John Holmes; anyone’s guess as to which is dumb and which is dumber.

Les Miserables Profs. Saul Slapikoff and Steven Hirsch have a knack for cramming relativism down students’ throats. Hirsch was the architect the West-bashing World Civilizations program. As Slapikoff fends off retirement (and senility), he feudally searches for institutional racism within the rigorous pre-med program. Thank- fully, these silly programs were too radical even for Tufts. The pair continue to toil away in Eaton Hall in hopes of finding someone who will take them seriously.

12 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 SPECIALA SECTION

Cagney and Lacey The queen and king of Tufts’ Resource Centers, Peggy Barret and Prof. Jonathan Strong, police the campus for evidence of insensitivity toward gender roles. Strong “allies” himself with Barret, who does everything but windows at the Womyn’s Center. If we could Voice our Choice, we would hand them their pink slips.

The Dynamic Duo Liberal Arts Deans Elizabeth Ammons and Marilyn Glater are the brainchilren (!) of Bags’ & Bernie’s administrative overhaul. While Ammons waged full scale war on the Religion Department, Glater gallivanted around campus trying to find something meaningful to do (she teaches Political Science, but that doesn’t count). They both spend their leisure time deconstructing The Observer.

Tufts’ Own Bonnie and Clyde Husband and wife tag-team Sol and Robyn Gittleman have been holding up the university for years. Mr. Personality tackles the imposing job of Provost-- as if someone knows what that means-- while Little Miss Alternative rules the Ex College with an Iron Fist. They blow scarce funds on such courses as “Native American influences in Star Trek.” Thanks Mom and Pop, but we’re waiting for the next gen- eration.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 13 SPECIALA SECTION

Sunday, August 27 5:OOpm: “Seven Strategies for Studying in College.” To Noon: Euros invade ... Come see why the EU is alousy idea. save you time, we’ve decided to print the list here: 7:OOpm: Sprockets Fest- Euros go clubbing. 1. Only cheat from smart kids. 2. Use library card catalog for padding bibliographies. Wednesday, August 30 3. Print papers in Courier font, twelve point. 8:OO am: American freshmen herded and prodded into 4. Kiss professors’ derriers. dorm rooms while amused Euros watch. They’ve already 5 . Major in English. claimed the comfy bed and the best desk. 6. Read the back cover of every textbook. 9:30: Coffee for commuters in Coolidge Room. 7. Don’t study, and just tell your parents that grades aren’t 9:35: Stop the exploitation of Juan Valdez! Send commut- a true measure of how much you’ve learned. ers home. 10:30: Film Series presents The Wedding Banquet. This noon: Lunch on Fletcher Field. Catered by Veterinary movie about a pathetic closeted Chinese homosexual is School. actually cooler than the people putting it on. 1:30pm: Visit Health Services, where leeches and blood letting live on. Saturday, September 2 1:45: Mariculation, it won’t make hair grow on yourpalms. 10:30am: “Why No Means No: Respecting Choices.” For 8:30: PRIMARY SOURCE Cuba Libre‘ Caribbean Cruise. the promiscuous, “Why Ho Means Ho” will follow. 9:OOpm: Monte Carlo Night, usually highlighted by the Thursday, August 31 presence of TLGBC members in drag. Be careful not to 7:l5am: Breakfast in the dining halls. Note total absence beergoggle. of upperclassmen. Follow their example. noon: Seal clubbing on the Quad, sponsored by THE SOURCE. Sunday, September 3 7:OOpm: “Many Stories, One Community.” Many Com- noon: Red Sox Game- Yes, the vendors card. munists, Much Idiocy. If the PC police catch you snoozing, just tell them that snoring is considered an expression of 7:OOpm: “Environmental Opportunities.” Tufts admits approval in your culture. that some students need the pictures on the recycling bins 1O:OO: Club Night. Aptly titled since you will enjoy your- explained to them. self just as much if you stayed in your closet-sized room and beat yourself senseless with one. Consider it your preview 9:OOpm: “Meet the Press.” No, not with Tim Russert; for the next four years. rather with the snappy and witty Bill Stackman. Come talk to representatives of the campus media: The Tufts D aily Friday, September 1 show them you are an egomaniacal social climber and 11:OOam: “Let’s Talk About Sex” with Tufts Sex Talk. maybe one day you can have your own Features column. Note: Any reference to sex, anywhere on campus, at any- The Observer-because literacy isn’t everything.WMFO- time, to anyone, is now considered date rape. freeform man, freeform. TUTV- the Muppet Show is 3:30: Food fair for new students. Note how many upper- back! Jumbo Yearbook- meet both staff members. THE classmen have crashed the event for the free food and cool PRIMARY Source-Meet the Elite. The Zamboini as good as its Dining Services frisbees. name.

14 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 Jumbo Propaganda Colin Delaney haired Tuftonians are hidden neatly behind examination of these booklets reveals a “Tufts is committed to administer[ing] the pamphlet’s fold. This convenience is pattern of fabricated inclusion that can all educational policies and activities with- only the most prominent and blatant decep- only be the result of deliberate action. If out discrimination on the basis of race, tion in the brochure that is Tufts’ most university publications are any indication, color, religion, national or ethnic origin, important contact with future students and the phrase “content of one’s character” age, disability, sex or sexual orientation;” their parents. The entire book is a piece of carries little meaning at Tufts. or so the application for undergraduate political fiction orchestrated admission states. Yet the very same docu- by the militant supporters of Tufts’ director of affirmative action ment asks students to report their race and “diversity” who populate ethnicity, and even allots space for dis- Ballou and Bendetson Halls. remarked that minorities are welcome crimination among Indian tribes. Asked for a copy of the here. And so they are, but is it true that From the earliest contact with pro- university’s policy that man- spective students, Tufts segregates indi- dates bountiful representa- only blacks can make other blacks feel viduals on the basis of race. The Admis- tion of minorities in official welcome, or that whites cannot? sions Office invites “people of color” to publications, Tufts’ Direc- special weekend outings through its SCOPE tor of Communications Rosemarie Van Worth a Thousand Words program and sends certain brochures to Kamp said, “There is nothing like that. The producers of the viewbook seem- non-white applicants that Caucasians are Nothing.” But a task force report on homo- ingly went to great lengths to include mi- not privileged to receive. And although sexual issues submitted to Vice President I. norities in casual “snap shots” of under- Dean Bobbie Knable has denied it, Tufts Melvin Bernstein in 1993 states that “Pub- graduates. A number of photos, including actively pursues a policy of racial prefer- lications (including those of Admissions, the one featured on the cover of this year’s ences, as stated in course catalog: “Tufts etc.) must reflect the presence of lesbians, course catalog, were quite clearly staged, has a commitment to affirmative action for gay men, and bisexuals at Tufts. Represen- with the apparent intention of giving the underrepresented students of color....” Even tations of campus life, such as pictures... images the correct hue. The same people the most basic request for information about should include those which openly acknowl- appear in at least three separate shots, the university calls for a statement of the edge the presence of lesbian, gay, and wearing identical outfits in each and ca- inquiree’s race: Admissions’ “Infor- vorting outside the very same mation Request Card” asks, “How building. The convenient subjects: would you describe yourself?” and a black woman, an Indian man gives the usual multiple choice an- wearing both a Tufts cap and a swers, thus relegating individuals to Tufts sweatshirt, and a Hispanic no more than representatives of their female. race. The viewbook’s publish- While the university’s adminis- ers could, if they were so inclined, trators make politically correct state- claim that the photographer chose ments opposing racism and discrimi- the pictures’ subjects. But the se- nation, their policies are anything but lection of students for up-close- colorblind. An old adage has it that and-personal photos and accom- actions speak louder than words. If panying statements about campus it’s true, Tufts University’s viewbook life is a task that only could have and other official publications speak been performed by the editor. volumes about the administration’s Tufts’ Viewbook is full of staged photographs such as the When questioned about the racial attitudes toward race and prejudice. above, which was taken in the Admissions office. and ethnic make-up of those se- bisexual individuals....” And sure enough, lected to appear in publications, a Human Diversity on Parade on page 18 of the first bulletin published Resources official remarked that people Judging solely by the cover of the slick after the committee released its report is a were chosen to reflect “the diversity of the new viewbook, one might think that Tufts 4x5” photo of the activist Tufts Lesbian, Tufts community.” is a liberal-arts college in the vein of Gay, and Bisexual Community (TLGBC) While it would be inaccurate to depict Spelman and Howard. The four students toting signs demanding “Lesbian Rights only blond-haired, blue-eyed students toss- walking together on the front cover are all NOW.” ing frisbees across sun-drenched beaches, dark-skinned. Only when one turns the There may not be an official policy booklet over does he discover that white requiring inclusion of a specific proportion Continued on the next page. students, too, attend Tufts— two blond- of minorities in university brochures, but

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 15 the university in this way, Tufts’ outgoing Since no one in the administration is Continued from the previous page. director of affirmative action expressed no willing to admit his part in choosing “di- concern and remarked that it indicates mi- verse” subjects for these publications, no the “diversity of the Tufts community” as norities are welcome here. And so they are, one can explain the reasons why such a reflected by official publications is equally but is it true that only blacks can make other policy was instituted. I can only speculate misleading. Although page 36 of the blacks feel welcome, or that whites can- that planners wanted to put Tufts’ diversity viewbook reports that 22% of the entering not? If so, it is a sad commentary on the on parade in order to appeal to prospective class “were students of color,” administra- state of affairs on campus. Moreover, ad- minority students. This itself is a noble tors selected markedly higher proportions hering to such a presumptuous policy indi- goal— no qualified student should feel of minorities to pose for the candids. cates a belief that all people of a particular unwelcome— but the manner in which the The close-up images of students in racial group think and act alike. university went about achieving this end is their dorm rooms and other casual situa- wrongheaded. tions which Admissions chose to put in the A Forest of Little Trees In defense of policies which seek out margins of certain pages are extraordinar- On its own, the pandering involved in and grant special treatment to minorities, ily “diverse.” In addition to these portraits, compiling the viewbook and other official several administrators, including Dean the students make statements about their publications is largely inconsequential. Knable, have said that even contrived ra- daily lives and their Tufts experiences. Of When seen as just the most recent in Tufts’ cial diversity is beneficial to students, as it the eleven chosen for this special feature, race-sensitive policies, it becomes clear exposes whites to the perspectives of their eight are “students of peers from ‘different back- color;” a ninth is from grounds.’ Apparently, the abroad; the tenth is Jew- dean believes that people ish. Simple arithmetic of different races neces- demonstrates that the sarily have different back- viewbook is more than grounds, and that many “reflective of the com- students have never been munity.” Sixty-three of exposed to people of other the 142 students who ap- ethnicities. Certainly one pear in photos are non- opposed to prejudice white, and 28 are black— would not support such ra- that’s 44 and 20% respec- cially charged logic. tively, figures that far The champions of diver- outstrip the diversity that sity can rest easy: how- Tufts reported on page ever forced, the viewbook 36. and other publications are Furthermore, there is integrated. But this inte- not a single two-page gration comes at a price. spread in the catalog that Students’ personal does not depict a minor- achievements are belittled ity in one respect or an- by a willing administra- other. The laws of statis- tion that only chose them tics suggest that a catalog to appear because they reflecting campus diver- paint a racially diverse sity can best be attained picture. The irony is strik- by selecting subjects at ing, most especially be- random. Instead, Tufts cause the very people who has created its mountain perceive racial prejudice of diversity by paying Administrators fill the Viewbook with pictures taken to “reflect the diversity of the even where none exists, people to sit behind a desk community.” These “different” photos appear on pages 1, 19, and 47. practice it with washed and contrive ways to in- hands. clude ever more non-whites and other “di- that the university cares more about group It is little wonder, given the twisted verse” groups. With even the most casual identity than it does about individual political posturing required to put together inquiry, I was able to identify two people achievement. That a black woman and a many university publications— and the who were asked to pose for photos. One of Hispanic woman each appear in three dif- viewbook especially— that no one takes whom, Omar Mattox, featured on page ferent photos wearing the same outfits dem- credit for having assembled such a fantas- seven, is seen lounging in that most popular onstrates that students were not chosen to tic work of social and editorial fiction. campus hang-out, the admissions office. reflect the broadest cross-section of the When asked about the racial prejudice population, rather the most narrow and Mr. Delaney is a junior majoring in History involved in selecting students to represent politically correct view as possible. and Political Science.

16 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 Chip Off the Ol’ Bloc Jessica Schupak advance uniformly. Thus children are ready the V-chip and the whole project will sim- Good intentions are not enough: Con- watch some types of “objectionable” shows ply be a flop and an outrageous waste of gress’ recently passed telecommunications at different ages. Consequently, separating taxpayer money. Even if the chip could be reform bill contains an ineffective and harm- all programs into two groups is an inad- both user-friendly for parents and esoteric ful attempt to curtail rampant indiscrimi- equate strategy because very few children for kids, it would not be employed in the nate sex and violence on television. A will fall into either the V-chip-on or V- homes in which it could do the most good. provision of the bill calls for the mandatory It is improbable that families inclusion in all new TV sets of the so-called that have negligent parents will V-chip, which is designed to help parents At a time when our country’s moral bother to learn how use the screen out inappropriate programming, fiber is rapidly deteriorating, the last chip and take the time to pro- thereby protecting children from violence gram it. on screen. The silicon panacea, however, thing it needs is legislation that will succeed only in blocking parental re- discourages parental initiative. Dole’s Doctrine sponsibility and the free market— not gore At a time when our or prurience, as its champions contend. country’s moral fiber is rapidly chip-off category. Cartoons pose a similar deteriorating, the last thing it needs is leg- The Futile Fight problem as they are geared towards kids islation that discourages parental initia- It is unlikely that the V-chip will be an but contain plenty of violence. If the state tive. The trendy immorality of the enter- effective tool for curbing violence among deems cartoons taboo, programmers might tainment world cannot be changed via leg- youngsters. If children are unruly or diffi- stop making them altogether. islation. Consumers must pressure the in- cult, it is not caused by the variety of President Clinton says the V-chip is dustry to move away from murder and television they watch; rather, problem chil- “parental responsibility... a technological mayhem and towards programs that exem- dren are the result of inattentive and irre- fix. It’s a little, simple thing. I think it is a plify substantive community standards. sponsible child-rearing, broken families, very big deal.” It is curious that the Presi- Uncharacteristically steadfast during and single-parenting. “Violent” program- dent defines parental responsibility as blind the controversy, Senator Bob Dole insists ming can, however, give bad kids mischie- reliance on the state’s discretion. More- that the V-chip amounts to nothing more vous ideas that may en- than unwanted govern- courage disorderly behav- ment censorship. Dole ior. When consumed in a criticizes the legislation vacuum, it can also coarsen for being a “move away children’s consciences to from self-restraint.” the point where they re- “Moral anarchy cannot spond only to excess, while be banned,” notes Dole, dulling moral outrage. The “but it should be stig- root of the problem lies matized.” The Senate within the family— not the Majority Leader wants TV. Americans to realize Because most violent that the deleterious con- and sexually explicit tent of speech is not ex- broadcasts are aired after cused by the mere fact ten o’clock, the most ef- that the Constitution fective “V-chip” is parents permits it. He encour- sending their kids to bed, ages citizens to take the turning off the TV, or some responsibility as watching it with them. Par- members of the com- ents who cannot be home munity and as parents, at these times would be to put pressure on the wiser to have no television at all than to over, it is unrealistic to create a device that television industry itself. “[T]he hope of trust ratings boards with the responsibility a parent, but not a child, will be able to lasting change is found beyond the law... in of caring for their youngsters. Alert parents operate. Most parents would attest that kids the courage of citizens themselves.” are aware that children develop at different tend to be more adept with electronics than rates: their sensitivities to sex and vio- they are. It is only a matter of time before Please see “V-chip,” lence, as well as their intelligence, do not children will figure out the “secret” behind continued on page 20.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 17 “NBA,” continued from page 10. its optimal level when regulations and re- playing in a large market, are currently a straints are minimized. Without unions to struggling franchise. The ability of a team unions to force wages upward. The natural bargain wages upward, indeed without a to manage itself wisely and efficiently is by response by management, in order to lower collective bargaining process altogether, far the most important factor in its success. production and operational costs, is to hire owners are free to pay players what they The salary cap limits teams’ capabili- fewer workers. The NBA already places rightfully earn. High profile players will ties of managing their resources in an restrictions on the number of players that continue to earn what they are worth, and effective manner. Teams cannot achieve each team can employ. Consequently, own- the lesser players will not have the dual greatness over a protracted period if the ers have derived a different way to respond constraint of a union and a salary cap to amount that they can pay their players is to the artificially inflated salaries players prevent their salaries from escalating. artificially limited. The Chicago Bulls lost demand— they have imposed a the services of Horace Grant, an inte- salary cap. The superstars com- gral member of their championship mand the top salaries and con- Players’ highly specialized abilities, teams, due to salary cap restrictions. tracts regardless of the cap, while The New York Knicks, over the past the remaining players are deprived combined with competitive market three years, have been prohibited by opportunities to earn their market conditions, are the best protectors the salary cap from signing the play- value. of players’ interests. ers that will enable them to win a NBA players could earn de- championship. In professional foot- sirable salaries by simply disband- ball, the New York Giants have lost a ing the union. Professional basketballers Although owners will undoubtedly number of talented players as a result of a have highly specialized, rare skills that are complain that the sport of basketball can- cap, including Pro-Bowlers Phil Simms, in high demand; a market for their services not survive without restricting salaries, their Bart Oates, and Mark Collins. Professional will always exist. An untalented athlete objections would be weak. Sports owners teams must be free to utilize and allocate will not be able to survive in the league for commonly argue that without a cap, teams their resources in the most efficient manner an extended period of time. in New York, Los possible. Players that make mini- Angeles, and other The salary cap hurts not only indi- mal contributions to their large markets will vidual teams, but the league as a whole. teams will warrant lower have a virtual mo- The NBA does not exist in a competition salaries— regardless of the nopoly on the star vacuum. European teams actively recruit existence of the union. In players because the most able American players. Domin- addition, competition smaller revenue ique Wilkins of the Boston Celtics recently among owners provides markets cannot af- signed a multi-million dollar contract with players with a large degree ford to pay as much. a Greek professional team. When the Celtics of choice. There are over The league will be drafted Dino Radja, they were not able to 30 teams in the NBA; if a dominated by the obtain his services for several years be- player does not wish to play larger markets, fans cause he was playing in Europe. As basket- for a team that cannot or will lose interest, ball continues to expand around the world, will not pay him the salary and the sport will National Basketball Association teams must he desires, he has the op- collapse. Fan inter- be able to compete in a global market. tion of offering his services est, not market size, NBA players’ earning potential is re- to another team. The determines a given stricted by both organized labor and man- NBA’s competitive nature sport’s success. In agement. Union leaders continuously make compels owners to hire the NBA, Orlando, absurd demands in response to an owner- players that will help to San Antonio, and ship that artificially lowers salaries. The improve their teams and Indiana are all abandonment of the player’s association attract more revenue. Bas- small market teams and the salary cap will allow the parties to ketball players’ highly spe- that finished in the raise both salary rates and revenues. The cialized abilities, com- final four spots of current labor dispute could be brought to a bined with competitive the league’s play- quick end if owners, and especially the market conditions, are the offs. Each team unionized players, allow the free market to best protectors of players’ sells out its home do its work. Although NBA players cur- interests. games and success- rently hope to be like Mike, their wisest fully markets its course of action is to pay no attention to Mr. Capping it All Off product. Other small markets, such as Min- Jordan’s hot air. Consistency dictates that team owners nesota, have teams that consistently floun- abandon the salary cap if the players dis- der because of poor management. The Mr. Seltzer is a senior majoring in Classics band their union. The free market works at Boston Celtics, who have the advantage of and Political Science.

18 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 Freedom Point Ananda Gupta applying justice. Partisan political perspec- sess these sacred rights. No individual, Political classification is commonly lim- tives often cobble together crude notions of group, or government may justly compel ited to the labels “left” and “right.” Usage justice, arbitrarily honoring certain rights any person to relinquish that which he has of such expedient terminology not only and rejecting others. Numerous political earned. facilitates categorization, but also garners approaches irrationally divide individuals immediate recognition. Most people re- Universal Benefits gard Pat Buchanan as a “right-winger” Friedrich A. Hayek laid and Karl Marx as a “leftist.” The politi- Most observers regard libertarian- the foundation for post-modern cal spectrum, however, contains more libertarian thought with his appli- than two schools of thought. Three ism as either conservatism with a cation of economic laws to the distinct points form an ideological tri- twist or confuse it with liberalism. realm of government’s regulation angle in world politics, with fascism, of its citizens. Although Hayek communism, and republicanism (democ- found the label libertarian con- racy) constituting the most pure philoso- into groups, and then apply different sets of strained and contrived, he admitted his phies. Similarly, conservatives, liberals, rights to each. Socialists will openly reject inability to derive a more appropriate term. and libertarians create a three-pronged the right of people to keep their earnings, Hayek’s economic philosophy represents American political spectrum. but fiercely defend the “right” of others to the area in which conservatives and liber- Libertarianism, the belief that indi- receive those same monies without having tarians most agree. viduals are entitled to complete freedom in worked for them. The common ground found between their personal conduct, is frequently mis- Libertarianism’s solid philosophical the two is quite logical— they equally conceived. Despite the depth and com- origins and foundation spare its notion of venerate the work of Adam Smith, and pleteness of libertarian doctrine, most ob- justice from any such fate, instead allowing abhor the theories of Karl Marx. The two servers either regard the philosophy as it an elegant consistency. Libertarians are schools ally against the some-time popular conservatism with a twist or confuse it with appeal of economic authoritarianism, strug- liberalism. gling gamely against the stubborn plati- The linguistic similarity that occasions tudes and fiery irrationality that inevitably the confusion between liberals and liber- characterize socialism. In the secure tradi- tarians actually has a logical base. Liber- tion of laissez-faire economics, both liber- tarians identified themselves as “liberals” tarians and conservatives revel congenially until American socialists co-opted the term in the joys of individualism, trying to roll in the 1940s. The descriptive terms for the back the forces that would blur the line two groups are altogether misleading. Lib- between the beleaguered individual and erals actually oppose many freedoms and the ominous state. advocate a large, taxing government to equalize incomes. Libertarians and conser- Drawing the Line vatives, however, are alike in the same way Sadly, the companionship has its lim- that communists are akin to fascists: they its. Hayek maintained that alliance be- adhere to similar principles but apply them tween conservatives and libertarians is not differently. Contemporary conservatives feasible in the long run, but is immediately do not oppose change as did conservatives necessary. The philosopher cited of the 18th and 19th centuries. Instead, they conservatism’s distrust for and resistance seek freedom by overhauling American to change as contrary to the libertarian’s government through radical changes in its F. A. Hayek reverence for individual autonomy. Indi- approach to taxation and social policy. viduals strive to advance themselves Libertarians, on still another hand, support indiscriminate in holding property rights throughout life, and aggressively pursue the absolute freedom of citizens from pa- sacred; all others are subsidiary to the those ends which they desire. Hayek rea- ternalistic and intrusive laws. inviolable right to retain one’s own prop- soned that individuals do not make changes erty. This approach to justice may appear or transactions which will not benefit them, The Scales of Justice to subordinate inequality, as it affords quan- nor will they continue to make choices that In addition to providing a haven for titatively more protection to those who those who resent meddlesome authority, posses the most property. However, it is Please see “Triangle,” libertarianism offers a unique approach to uniquely egalitarian in that all people pos- continued on the next page.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 19 Selling Short be classified “V-positive.” The threat of a “V-chip,” continued from page 20. It is ironic not only that a Republican harsh government rating will drive pro- Congress supports measures to substitute grams off the air that the market currently Two Thumbs Down family values with artificial parenting, but supports. Censorship imposed by artificial V-chip warriors unrealistically declare bypasses the free market to do so. If there market pressure is a duplicitous way of that the rating system would be successful is a demand for the V-chip, the market will rewriting TV Guide. TV owners, through given its resemblance to the Motion Pic- provide it. If too few parents desire the V- voluntary actions, are more justified in ture Association’s. But whereas the movie chip for industry to offer it voluntarily, dictating what is broadcast into their homes industry rates only a few hundred films a then it is unlikely that many parents would than is the state. year (and even that is a formidable task) a The V-chip cannot be commission would be daunted to process both “a little, simple thing” the hundreds of thousands of television Neither technology nor the US and a “big deal,” and it is programs produced annually. Would the government can repair the damages certainly not a “technologi- Oval Office’s committee rate every epi- cal fix.” Neither technology sode of a program, or brand categorically that the decline of the American nor the US government can whole series with the defamatory letter V? family has wrought. repair the damages that the Unlike the proposed plan, movie rat- decline of the American fam- ings are not required; the process is truly ily has wrought. What will voluntary. To implement a TV-ratings sys- use the device if given the option. More- remedy the situation, however, is parents tem, the V-chip bill allows one year for the over, single people and married couples assuming their unique obligations. Our industry to design its own “voluntarily.” If without children do not need V-chips and elected leaders—especially those of the the small-screen heavyweights do not come should not be forced to pay more for TVs new Congressional majority that professes up with a satisfactory scheme, the Presi- that contain them. a commitment to free enterprise— should dent will appoint five all-knowing regula- Besides being ineffective, the chip will not look for solutions in regulation. The V- tors to be confirmed by the Senate. Either also have repercussions on the advertising chip is costly and ineffective, much like the way, the industry knows that it will have to industry. If even a fraction of American government that would impose it. succumb to the whims of the government. households use the chip it will make a great Bureaucrats will assume what has been difference in the number of people viewing Miss Schupak is a sophomore traditionally the job of parents— deeming particular programs. Companies will begin majoring in History. what is appropriate fare for their children. to pull sponsorship from shows that might

“Triangle,” continued Hayek also argued that the non-eco- case, conservatives advocate the use of from the previous page. nomic differences between conservatives state power for ends which they deem and libertarians were by far the more divi- socially beneficial, while libertarians pre- could be better made otherwise. Instead, sive. According to him, conservatives value fer governmental non-interference. they will seek and choose new options, tradition at the The reconciliation of rather than remain set in their ways. Insa- expense of lib- these differences is still in tiable human nature and innate desire for erty, whereas question. Naturally, libertar- competition both contradict the idea that libertarians are ians place a high premium on individuals always prefer their current state indifferent to tra- individual responsibility, con- of affairs. dition. While lib- sistent with their postulate that However, conservatism has not re- ertarians distrust individuals are superior to all mained stagnant since Hayek’s 1950s. authority itself, others in managing their own Conservatives do not eschew change; it is the conservative affairs. Libertarianism is thus necessary to return to past values and stan- fears only its un- unattractive to those who dards. While libertarians certainly do not wise use. These refuse responsibility for their pursue change for its own sake, they lack rifts lead to the own problems or failures. the conservatives’ potential for fulfillment. most prominent However, for those willing to It stands to reason that conservatives would disagreements accept the idea that the indi- be content to oppose change once their between libertar- vidual, not Uncle Sam, is wis- goals have been reached. By contrast, lib- ians and conser- est, this political philosophy ertarians’ goals can never be achieved, as vatives on sev- presents an attractive third cor- evidenced by their belief that only the eral contempo- ner to the political triangle. rights of others can limit liberty. If a new rary issues. Questions pertaining to school means of increasing liberty were to be prayer, the legalization of drugs, and sup- Mr. Gupta is a sophomore majoring in discovered, libertarians would implement port for homosexual marriages clearly il- Economics and Philosophy. the necessary changes. lustrate the divergence of opinion. In each

20 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 Blowing Smoke Buddie Jo DiFonzo vending machines, and brand advertise- most of whom happen to be children. The Like a good liberal seizing power, Presi- ments at a variety of venues which children addition of further regulations is just an dent Clinton has once again extended the might see. The primary target of FDA easy way of side-stepping the underlying meddlesome hand of the federal bureau- regulations, though, will be print advertis- problem: the enforcement of existing laws cracy and its regulations into the competi- ing. Magazines such as Time, People, and which prohibit sale to minors. tive realm of the marketplace. His move to Attempting to disguise strictly regulate the tobacco industry is the his move to create still larger culmination of years of attacks upon ciga- The President’s charge that ad and more powerful government rette manufacturers and smokers that have agencies are culpable for health agencies as genuine concern ranged from a campaign of misinformation hazards induced by smoking is for the teenage population, the to censorship and even outright seizure of President declared, “Some- private property rights. preposterous. times we must act sternly and Anti-smoking activists such as Con- boldly to fulfill our most moral gressman Henry Waxman (D-CA) have Newsweek will not be allowed to augment obligation— our duty as adults to ensure made no secret of their animosity toward the text of cigarette advertisements with that our children grow up healthy and the tobacco industry. Congressional hear- pictures or colors other than black or white, strong.” ings forcing tobacco company executives because more than 15 percent of their read- And so we should. It is his duty to to defend their right to produce a product ership are minors. discourage Chelsea from smoking, just as were typical for years. Prompted by a series Regulation proponents defend inter- all parents should pressure their children of journalistically questionable ABC News vention by claiming that Philip Morris and not to take up the habit until they can stories, the Food and Drug Administration RJ Reynolds endanger the health of minors decide for themselves. But Clinton’s solu- investigated tobacco manufacturers and with their marketing strategies. According tion has nothing to do with “fulfilling our charged them with concealing the so-called to many industry opponents, the compa- moral obligation.” On the contrary, he is addictive nature of their products. The FDA nies target children because they need to empowering the state to take over the job of further accused the tobacco industry of compensate for the losses of cigarette smok- raising healthy children, thereby releasing attempting to “actively control the amount ers who die. Most offensive of all, they say, parents from their most vital role. and rate at which nicotine... is delivered to is the Joe Camel “Smooth Character” cam- Furthermore, the President’s charge customers.” This report, which is more paign because it uses cartoon characters to that ad agencies are culpable for health conjecture than medical proof of physical attract children. That Camel brand ciga- hazards induced by smoking because they addiction, is the basis for Clinton’s regula- rettes are popular with underage smokers is devise campaigns with visual appeal is tory proposals. preposterous. It embraces the conde- While the media and Congres- scending notion that individuals in- sional activists launched a new daily fluenced by ads are incapable of mak- attack on the industry, tobacco com- ing rational decisions for themselves panies struggled to defend their prod- and their own children. Again, it im- uct against the vicious reports and plies that only the state can decide outright lies. Philip Morris sued ABC what is best. News for libel after a “Day One” Adults should and must be free to report charged that the company “ar- choose what products they want to tificially spiked” and “fortified” its buy; parents and shop-keepers must cigarettes to “carefully control” the uphold their societal duty to see to it nicotine and addict smokers. Only that children cannot procure ciga- last week did the company and ABC rettes. Tobacco companies, their ad- settle the suit, after the network prom- vertising agencies, and magazines ised to broadcast a complete retraction and evidence of the connection, Clinton says. have a right to employ whatever marketing apology during “Monday Night Football.” Following this line of logic, Met Life strategy they desire. This is simply the Nonetheless, Clinton is charging forward should be making millions by selling life latest attempt by Clinton to subjugate indi- with his activist plan to control an industry insurance to toddlers; after all, Snoopy is vidual rights and expand the power of the that is already one of the most heavily hocking their product. The simple truth is federal government. taxed. that Joe Camel is a successful ad campaign The FDA will mandate strict limita- in the same way that Absolut Vodka’s and Miss DiFonzo is a sophomore majoring in tions on the sale, distribution, and market- Windows 95’s marketing strategies are. It Political Science. ing of cigarettes which include bans on attracts a great number of new smokers,

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 21 KKK, Ph.D. Colin Kingsbury For the most part, freshmen were more That the Orientation Committee chose University administrators never tire of interested in getting out of the hall than the panelists to represent racial minorities saying that Tufts presents students with a hearing upperclassmen complain about indicates a belief that the best way to learning environment that extends beyond “oppression” or describe America as a salad achieve intellectual diversity is by creating the classroom. Students surrounded by op- bowl. No matter how ridiculous it seems, a racially diverse student body. The logical portunities for cultural exchange and inter- and perhaps because of the panel’s sheer extension of the administration’s argument, personal learning will be enriched by inter- silliness, the program is a beneficial expe- then, is that one’s thinking and one’s race acting with people from different back- rience for freshmen insofar as it prepares are in fact, connected. grounds. Toward that end, the admissions entering students for the om- office works to accept those candidates nipresent cult of victimiza- Like the rest of academia, Tufts seems who can contribute the most to both the tion. campus’ academic and social environment. Immediately obvious to to believe that intellectual, social, and Unfortunately, the standards which admis- those who attend the discus- racial diversity are all the same. Such sions officers use to judge diversity have sion is that the entire presen- nothing to do with the content of an tation is so thoroughly con- reasoning is...no less uninformed than applicant’s character. trived. Certainly the Orienta- segregation. Like the rest of academia, Tufts seems tion Committee selected this to believe that intellectual, social, and ra- chorus line of victims for a specific reason, The quest for diversity is not inher- cial diversity are all the same. Such reason- and given the balance of racial and sexual ently flawed, of course. The error made by ing is, of course, no less uninformed and minorities, it is clear what the standards Tufts selecting proportional race represen- unreasonable than segregation or apart- were. Each is present to ‘expose first-years tation at the expense of intellectual diver- heid. Failing to see (or refusing to admit) to experiences other than their own,’ and sity. Responsible admissions officers must their error, administrators implement poli- encourage tolerance of different lifestyles. seek a class of students with the widest cies to recruit students who fit their vision Theirs are not the stories of student life at range of ideas. Once on campus, students of the most beneficial form of diversity. Tufts, but of politically engineered groups from a variety of different perspectives Having done so, they proceed to impress with whom we should sympathize. will be able to live, think, and work to- their views upon students. Indoctrination “Many Stories, One Community” ex- gether for the betterment of each other and begins during Freshmen Orientation. emplifies Tufts’ subtly racist approach to society at large. Many of the orientation activities have dealing with issues of race and gender. The True diversity can only come from insidious political and morally suspect panelists are not chosen for any unique individuals. The “diversity” that Tufts seeks messages, such as suggestions that stu- individual characteristic or special talent is largely an unimportant one of skin colors dents “sleep with someone of the same and sexual orientations. Either Tufts’ sex.” The so-called “Many Stories, deans have bought into the racist be- One Community” forum, though, is by lief that such factors are, indeed, syn- far the worst program. The infamous onymous with one’s character and “Diversity Panel,” as most students individuality, or they are fully aware call it, exposes the true nature of diver- of the racist nature of their actions sity at Tufts as one based solely on and care only to advance their per- identity with “oppressed” minority sonal agenda at the expense of stu- groups. dents. It seems that Tufts' greatest In the past, the panel has included– mission is the creation, however con- to a man one black, one Asian, one trived, of a student body of the correct Hispanic, someone from an “ignorant” racial proportions. working class family, one homosexual, It is disappointing to learn that in and a “guilty white male.” After the one of the few institutions in the introduction, each of the students recounted other than their ability to identify with (or world that is committed to the pursuit of a a story of oppression and elicited sympathy represent) a particular “marginalized” pure thing– in this case, knowledge– people from the audience-- save the white male group. Administrators repeatedly state their cling to such racist notions. Thus one learns who atoned for his sins before the P.C. desire to provide a diverse academic envi- that, at Tufts, diversity is only skin deep. altar. The discussion “moderator” then ronment for the enrichment of students, but began a short question-and-answer period, if the “Diversity Panel” is any indicator of Mr. Kingsbury is a sophomore majoring in in which few in the audience (usually hired- the breadth of thought on campus, there is International Relations. gun Perspectives leaders) asked questions. much room for improvement.

22 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, AUGUST 30, 1995 23 NON-PROFIT ORG. THE PRIMARY SOURCE Mayer Campus Center U.S. POSTAGE PAID Tufts University BOSTON, MA Medford, MA 02155 PERMIT NO. 56885

NOTABLE AND QUOTABLE Pure reason [has] its frontiers and... to deny There is no room in this country for hyphenated This is our heritage and this is our glory. We the existence of realms beyond those borders— Americanism.... The one absolutely certain way are a people, I tell you, that is just beginning its why, that’s puerility. of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all high adventure on this continent, animated by —Russell Kirk posibility of continuing to be a nation at all, the destiny of greatness, [we] can think and can would be to permit it to become a tangle of act and can do greatly.... Since we’ve come so We have the game all Brentwood is buzzing squabbling nationalities. far, who shall be rash enough to set limits on about: black or white. We’ll play a medley of —Theodore Roosevelt, 1915 our future progress, who shall say that since we five voices and the call must identify the black have gone so far we will go no farther. voice. I’ve been trying to keep a little bit of dignity and —Unknown —Robert W. Morgan, LA radio disc go through this the best way I could. jockey —Hollywood madame Heidi Fleiss, For those who believe in God no explanation is shortly after her conviction needed; for those who do not believe in God no Voice #3 was the black voice. explanation is possible. —Mary, from Reseda The terrorist lives for terror, not for the change —Father John Lafarge he tells himself he wants. He masks his desire You are right! Voice #3 is, in fact, Johnnie to kill and destroy behind the curtain of a Well, first you get a good SAT score.... Cochran so you, Mary, are a racist. Your prize cause. —a New York Thruway tollbooth is a CD of the “Trial of the Century” and a —Louis L’Amour operator, when asked by a parent how one gets white t-shirt. Congratulations! to Cornell —Robert W. Morgan The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not The love of justice for most men is merely the A rainbow coalition of blacks, feminists, forget. fear of suffering injustice. deconstructionists, and Marxists [is] ready to —Thomas Szasz —Francois Duc de la Rouchefoucauld take control [of academia]. —Prof. Henry Louis Gates, now of Before you can be reasonably convinced that Marriage is like a dull meal with the dessert at Harvard University you are right about an idea, you should be sure the beginning. that you understand the objections of your most —Henri Toulouse-Lautrec In America, every day is a new beginning, every articulate antagonists. The person who can sunset is merely the last milestone on a voyage state his antagonist’s point of view to the There was no need to do any housework at all. that never ends. For this is the land that has satisfaction of the antagonist is more likely to After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any never become, but is always in the act of be correct than the person who cannot. worse. becoming. —Paul G. Hewitt —Quentin Crisp —Ronald Reagan France Telecom is trying to serve its customers, I swear it is not a world of men.... It’s a world In a state run society, the government promises but right away everyone’s talking about of clock-watchers, bureaucrats, officeholders. you security. But it’s a false promise predicated mistresses and lovers— this is the French way A [messed] up world— no adventure to it. on the idea that the opposite of security is risk. of looking at things. —David Mamet Nothing could be further from the truth. The —A France Telecom official, in opposite of security is insecurity, and the only response to criticism concerning itemized Well, I find that a change of nuisance is as good way to overcome insecurity is to take risks. The telephone bills as a vacation. gentle government that promises to hold your —David Lloyd George hand as you cross the street refuses to let go on All the Constitution guarantees is the pursuit of the other side. hapiness. You have to catch up with it by How do I know I’ll be hungry on Wednesday? —Theodore Forstmann yourself. —Greta Garbo, in response to a —Benjamin Franklin dinner invitation Wine is under suspicion, as beautiful things so often are. Like religion, love, laughter, any sort We don’t put as many restrictions on freedom The Equal Educational Opportunity Committee of explosive, it is an anxiety to officials. of speech as we should. (or successor to the Institutional Policy —Christopher Morley —Canetta Ivy, former Stanford Committee) should appoint subcommittees and University student body president encourage formation of task forces.... There is such a thing as fostering bad behavior —The faculty’s “Recomendations by misplaced compassion. The past is prologue. from the report of the ad hoc Committee on —Miss Manners, Judith Martin —Inscribed on the National Archives Institutional Policy”