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Home , Joba Chamberlain, Mike Scioscia, Orlando Hudson

We asked 100 major leaguers to be brutally honest with us , — about other players, man- Groupies Drugs & agers, teams, league policies, and more. And in return, we promised to keep their The Biggest Jerks identities hidden. Their frank answers may surprise you. A Secret Survey of by Stacey Pressman pro Players with Dan Friedell

Who is the most hated player? 1. A.J. Pierzynski, White Sox 34% 2. , Yankees 10% 3. , Yankees 9% Ask major leaguers what gets under Who Is the Smartest their skin about the Sox and ? they’ll make you a list: “He likes to talk 1. , a lot of shit, and I’ve heard he’s a bad Rays 25% teammate,” says one National League 2. Mike Scioscia, . “He’s been a prick to guys on Angels 20% his own pitching staff. Basically, if you 3. , haven’t got five years in the big leagues, Tigers 8% he treats you like you’re a peasant. He’s that kind of guy.” An American The Tampa Bay League infielder adds, “I’ve heard him skipper won points call pussies for throwing him for, as one Ray puts it, breaking balls. That’s just tired.” “letting his players be It’s no surprise to see legendary themselves, be men. me-firster A-Rod on this list, but He even tries to learn perennial fan favorite Nick Swisher? from them.” But most “Everything about him is annoying, praised him for being CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: S LEFT: TOP FROM CLOCKWISE from his mannerisms to his always innovative on the field. wanting to ‘bro’ it down,” says one “Not everything he AL vet. “Being around him is just ex- does works,” says a hausting.” An opposing reliever adds, utility man who used to “No one wants Swisher to get on base. play for him, “but he’s Entire bullpens talk shit to each other not scared to try things if he gets a off a guy.” that might look differ-

ent or that some people te v

might think are crazy.” e n K i ng/I co

Which Player Would You Most Want on Your Team? L DIPACE; TOM n SMI/CORBIS; 1. Albert Pujols, Angels 19% 2. , Yankees 14% 3. , Red Sox 10% “The best hitter-player of our Who Is the Biggest o

Trash Talker? generation, of my lifetime,” u L is

Orlando Hudson, a former teammate says of Pujols. ope

White Sox 31% z/C

Nyjer Morgan, “The work ethic he has, what S al

Brewers 17% he puts into it — that’s tough M port Chris Carpenter,

Cardinals 14% to find.” Adds an Angel, “You can edia Other 38% build a team around him.”

Men’s JournaL 68 july 2012 Who Is the Most Overrated Player? Joba Chamberlain, Yankees 13% “If Joba didn’t play in New York, no one would know him.” — a rival starting pitcher

Should the National League Adopt the DH? No 78% Yes 19% Not sure 3% “The union loves that veteran players stay around a little longer with the DH,” says an NL pitcher, “but there’s an aspect of the game that gets lost.” Namely, strategy. “You have to switch, you have to bunt to get guys over,” says one closer. “The AL’s toughest decision is when to pull a pitcher.” Which player is in the best physical shape? Giancarlo Stanton, Marlins 28%

“He’s a real-life Under Armour mannequin,” one major leaguer says, marveling at the 6-foot- 5, 248-pound outfielder, a former USC football recruit whose off-season rituals include - ALI ning the stairs at UCLA’s track stadium. “He’s NG not normal, not human.” An NL slugger adds, “I don’t think he has any body fat.”

Which player is in the

/AP PHOTO;/AP ROB TRI worst physical shape? tero Todd Coffey, Dodgers 40% “Have you seen him running in from the bullpen?” says a division rival about the portly reliever. “He has bigger boobs

S PRESSWIRE; LM O than half the girls I’ve dated.” Adds a U Dodgers teammate: “I think Coffey needs to get on a treadmill, but to be honest, he doesn’t really care what any of us think.” DREW WEBBER/ N

n SMI; A Who Is the Most Underrated Player? co /I 1. Michael Young, Rangers 15% Who Is the Least Respected Manager? ress 2. Shin-Soo Choo, Indians 9%

ma P 3. , Diamondbacks, and u 1. Ozzie Guillen, ; Z Howie Kendrick, Angels 6% (tie) Marlins 36% Texas infielder and DH Young may be a seven- e Groe 2. , Red Sox 14% n time All-Star and career .300 hitter, but “people 3. Manny Acta, Indians 5%

armi never say anything about him,” says an infielder. “He’s unappreciated.” Players bristle that Guillen is “loud” HT: C HT: G “He gets screwed over by his and “can get under your skin.” Says one opponent, “He loses it all the time.” Adds own organization,” another another, “He always preaches that he player says of Young, noting backs his players, but he’s been known to throw them under the bus.” A rival how the Rangers market their reliever says, “You can’t call out your

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP RI younger stars more heavily. guys every weekend, and he does that.”

july 2012 69 Men’s JournaL Which Team , Other Has Baseball’s Effort to Than Your Own, Get Rid of Performance- Would You Most Like Enhancing Drugs Worked? to Play For?

1. Yankees 15% Yes 58% 2. Dodgers 8% No 22% 3. Padres 7% I want to believe it’s working, but I’m not sure 10% Which Team Would You Yes on steroids, but Least Like to Play For? it’s too early to tell on HGH 7% I don’t care 3% Which city has the best groupies? “The proof’s in the pudding: 1. Chicago 27% numbers are down,” points out one AL 2. Scottsdale, Arizona () 13% 3. Toronto 9% slugger. Adds an NL “If you’re asking me for the best city for chicks, that would be Chi- reliever, “You don’t cago,” says an NL reliever. “Everyone likes to enjoy themselves there.” see gargantuan-size dudes out there trying 1. Athletics 19% And though it finished fourth, Seattle got some love (seven percent of 2. Blue Jays 10% votes) thanks to Safeco Field’s flirtation-friendly confines: “The way to swing a baseball 3. Royals 9% the bullpen fences are set up, women are just right there harassing bat. They’re more players,” says a former Mariner. The most surprising result, though, focused on fitness and Says a former A, may have been the number of players who shrugged off the question flexibility, not just on there’s “no will to entirely. “Don’t you know the days of groupies are over,” says an All- muscles.” While most win.” Adds another, Star. “It’s 100 percent myth. I’ve been playing for years, and I’ve never of those polled believe “You’re playing in a found one groupie waiting at a hotel for me.” the number of players football stadium — using performance with only 6,000 fans.” enhancers is small — 59 percent of those who ventured a guess Which City Has the Most Are There Gay put it at less than Obnoxious Fans? Players in Baseball? five percent — many FROM TOP: Norm 1. Philadelphia Yes 72% No 8% admitted they had no 36% I don’t know, way of knowing for and I don’t care 20% sure. As one AL ace 2. San Francisco 22% None of those polled quipped, “I’d say the 3. New York 12% H say they know any gay number of guys is less all

Philly fans have long earned than one percent, with / players, but most Gett their reputation. (“They boo assumed there were a 30 to 40 percent their own players,” marvels one margin of error.” And y I some. “Guys say they ma

opponent.) The surprise is that while steroid use may g

don’t care, but they do,” es Giants fans were close behind: says one NL pitcher. be down, human- ; J oh “They absolutely suck,” says a growth-hormone n M c rival pitcher. “They’re always “Twenty-four screening is only in its D calling us ‘fucking faggots’ and guys who infancy. “HGH is still o nn

just the worst possible things. really prevalent,” says ell

They won a and are straight, one AL pitcher. “Since /T he

think they own the planet.” and there’s you get blood tested W One opposing reliever almost one gay guy only once a year, guys ashi came to blows with a Giants can get away with it.” ng fan who made nasty comments — I’ll shake In fact, one pitcher to n P ost about his kids. Another blames his hand, but we polled confessed the abuse on the proximity of fans to the bullpen. “The only thing separat- to using HGH himself. v

I’m not going ia ing us is a two-foot wall out in right field. They can practically reach out and “I’m a guy who has Gett touch us.” But visiting teams have their way of exacting revenge. “During bat- to get in been injured, and it’s ting practice, you’ll see 50 to 75 fans in the stands throw out nets attached to usually players like me y I the shower ma fishing lines onto the field to try to snag balls and bring them back up,” says a or old guys on their last g es division-rival pitcher. “So we’ll go around with scissors and cut all their lines.” with him.” leg who are doing it.”

Men’s JournaL 70 july 2012