Volume 54 Issue 2 Article 12

December 2002 Living on the Straight Edge in Ames Erin Randolph Iowa State University

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Recommended Citation Randolph, Erin (2002) "Living on the Straight Edge in Ames," Ethos: Vol. 2003 , Article 12. Available at: http://lib.dr.iastate.edu/ethos/vol2003/iss2/12

This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Publications at Iowa State University Digital Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in Ethos by an authorized editor of Iowa State University Digital Repository. For more information, please contact [email protected]. 32 I www.ethosmaga zme. .com he city lights of Ames fade moving Philadelphia, where he's from. paced, with heavy guitars and short, into the distance as Greg Rice Rice is "straight edge." He has been strained vocals. departs in his black Toyota since he was 17 or 18. Some of the others Rice has been listening to hardcore T Paseo. It's Saturday night, at tonight's show are straight edge, too. music - a louder, faster, harder exten­ 8:34 p.m. as Rice, a 24-year-old engi­ Don't drink. Don't do drugs. This is sion of punk rock - since he was a neering graduate student, merges south what it means to be straight edge. It's a teenager. He remembers seeing an onto Interstate 35. Destination is the lifestyle, a life-long dedication to not use Earth Crisis band sweatshirt with the Fallout Shelter- a dingy, one-room, drugs or alcohol, and to shy away from straight-edge mantra scrawled across joint-turned-makeshift hole-in-the-wall promiscuous sex. the back at a punk rock show. "It wa venue on Des Moines' east side. The straight edge scene in representative of how I felt about sub­ A hardcore show started at 7 p.m., Philadelphia and in some larger cities is stance abuse," he says. He had become over an hour and a half ago, but he's in strong. In Des Moines it is pretty weak, disgusted with what he called the grow­ no hurry. He slouches back in his seat, Rice says. It's even weaker in Ames. If ing anarchi t visions of punk rock and rests his left hand loosely on the steer­ you want to see a hardcore show - the the indulgences in drugs and alcohol its ing wheel while his right hand grips the music of choice for straight-edgers - a followers pur ued. gear shifter. trip to Des Moines or Iowa City is neces­ Rice said a lot of straight-edgers have First gear. Second gear. Third gear. sary, to dingy, one-room, joint-turned­ been negatively affected by alcohol and Fourth gear. makeshift-hole-in-the-wall venues like drugs, or have seen the negative effect Rice gets to about 65 miles per hour, the Fallout Shelter. on their friends and family. sometimes 72. "See? The Midwest is As he drives, End This Day, a hardcore He shied away. "When I was in col­ getting to me," he says, comment­ band incorporating many metal influ­ lege and I began to see so many people ing on the lulling pace he's ences, pours from the speakers of his who would go far beyond a reasonable grown accustomed to - a car at about a quarter of their auditory limit, that's when it became ingrained," departure from the faster- potential. The music is driving and fast- he says.

december 2002 I 33 egend has it the term Ken Slaba marks "straight edge" was his hands with the L first coined by music telltale straight­ icon Ian MacKaye and his edge symbol. early '80s punk band Minor Threat. In its 1984 song, Straight Edge, Minor Threat claimed straight­ rejected the use of drugs and edger can be dis­ alcohol and advocated a life counted because of self-awareness. he or she chooses I'm a person just like you/ to drink caffeine But I've got better things to or doesn't live an dol Than sit around/ And abstinent lifestyle. fuck my head/ Hang out with "Maybe some­ the living dead/ Snort while one likes to share shit/ Up my nose ... I've got a romantic the straight edge. evening with their Minor Threat's song gave a wife or their girl- name to a movement that friend, and cook with alcohol or have a lthough the movement originat­ had been brewing within the small sip of wine with their wife who ed on the heels of punk rock, it punk culture. might not be straight edge," Rice says. A is now heavily associated with There is no rulebook on "They're not overdoing it by any means." hardcore music. As bands like Minor straight edge, no set stan­ Ken Slaba, a 23-year-old senior in lib­ Threat advocated a drug-free lifestyle, dards. Only suggestions. eral studies, disagrees. Alcohol shouldn't bands like The Germs were doing the Each straight-edger must be part of a straight edger's lifestyle­ opposite- getting drunk on stage. A determine the strictness of even sporadically or in moderation. "As separation was occurring as punk gar­ his or her dedication. Many straight edge, you're against that stuff, nered more mainstream support and choose the definition out­ so even i[ it's just occasionally, it's not hardcore punk remained underground. lined by Minor Threat's appropriate," he says. A lot of the late '80s, early '90s hardcore anthem - Don't drink. Don't Slaba has claimed straight edge since bands such as Earth Crisis and Strife smoke. Don't fuck." - he was in high school. As part of his ded­ really began to popularize the straight­ although interpretations can ication, he's pledged not to drink, smoke, edge principles again. "People begin to vary greatly from individual do drugs or engage in promiscuous sex. see things popularized by the bands to individual. Even caffeine is out of the question. they love and it just carries on over Rice's girlfriend, Cara Tall and slender, Slaba often wears time," Rice says. Harris, i n't straight edge. band T-shirts, almost always seen with a Straight edgers are proud of the life But it's never been an issue stocking cap covering his curly brown they lead, frequently going out of their when she has a cigarette or hair and a skateboard attached to his way to advertise their lifestyle. "There's comes home drunk. "There's hand. His one-strap pack-made-back­ a vast assortment of shirts, belts, hats­ that natural guilt," Harris pack has a black patch with the words you name it- that are out there for says. "But do I feel horrible? Poison Free and three Xs. people to buy to make their commit-

II If you slip up now, and you were only drug free or abstinent for a

couple years, you never were straight edge. II Greg Rice I straight-edger

No. He's not going to con­ The movement is so closely tied to ment public, and more importantly, let demn me or anything." hardcore music now, it's hard to differen­ kids know that it's OK to say no and not On rare occasions, Rice tiate between what is straight edge and drink," Rice says. will have a glass of wine what is political activism spurred by the Synonymous with the straight edge with Harris at dinner. music. Slaba is also a vegetarian and for­ culture is the presence of large, bold Xs. Because there are varying mer vegan -ideas commonly advocated They're stitched to clothing and acces­ degrees of straight in hardcore music lyrics encouraging ani­ sories, markered on hands. In the early edge, Rice doesn't mal rights activism. Slaba considers it an days of the straight-edge movement, think a pro- extension of his pledge to straight edge. many shows were all-ages, and in order

www.ethosmagazine.com ------for the venues to sell alcohol, they Taylors seem to be the shoe of needed a way to separate the choice. Studded belts line count­ drinkers from the non-drinkers. Xs less waistbands. Black T-shirts or were marked on the hands of the small vintage cardigans hug skin­ sober show-goers. Eventually ny frames, and jet black hair is all straight-edge kids began marking too common. their own hands, as a symbol of Rice is tall, almost a good head their dedication. taller than the other show-goers on Another common marking is a this night. His blonde hair, silver lowercase "s" and a lowercase "e," wire-framed glasses, and his attire with a larger "X" in between. This, -a slightly faded navy blue sweat­ too, is often seen on clothing and shirt, loose fitting jeans cuffed at accessories!. the bottom, and black Doc Martens Slaba takes it farther than perma­ - set him apart from the rest. nent marker. He has three large Despite his outward appearance, chrome-metal Xs tattooed on his there is nothing about Rice that leg. It reminds himself and others of suggests he is straight edge. Nor his commitment. are there outward signs that any­ one else at the Fallout Shelter t's after nine when Rice pulls up is, either. But Rice is onto the matted grass adjacent confident there are I to the Fallout Shelter. He's more many in atten­ than two hours late. "But I'd be sur­ dance. prised if more than one band has The show already played," he says. costs $6. The If not for the makeshift sign on Fallout side of this beat-up building across SEE EDGE the street from Mojo Tattoo, you PAGE 40 might miss it. And even with the sign, it's hard to spot. Outside, the hardcore kids are milling around. A few smoking cigarettes, the rest taking a break from the crowded space inside. The huddled mass is surpris­ ingly homoge­ nous. Chuck ethos I continued

FROM BAND PAGE 31 sought alternative access. attached to the wall s and placed spo­ or two stolen, had their instruments It's the second quarter, and the band radically on the rectangular ceiling tiles played by total strangers when they is taking quite a beating in the stands. -som e painted black, not in a ny par­ made the mistake of not watching One fan has already slapped a trum­ ti cul ar order. them constantly. peter across the back of the head. Painted just above the half-foot light And they can't do a thing about it. There's not enough room for the whole green carpeted stage in sloppy writing They can't swear back. They can't take band to sit in the stands, so 30 are seat­ is the phrase, "Make your own noise." aim with their loose change. They have ed in folding chairs along the sidelines. Small groups are clustered about the to take the abuse, regardless of how The flag line is relegated to standing in drafty room. As the m usic starts­ pissed off they get. the comer of the stadium. Love Lost But Not Forgotten, from "There are so many times I just wish The band takes the field to perform Iowa City- the huddles become one I could swear back," says Chris Verlo, its routine, the one that has been prac­ large anonymous mass in front of the freshman who plays the flugelhom. ticed time and again all week long. The stage. The music is impossibly fas t, "It's so hard, so frustrating to just stand horns sound strong; the drums are pre­ vocals screamed, guitar riffs short and there and take it." cise and definitive; the flag line's move­ quick. If there's an angry, pessimistic This season, however, it was their fel­ ments seamlessly coordinated. The political message in these vocals- and low ISU students who nearly ended the largely Iowa crowd rewards them with there surely is- it's indistingui shable, marching for some members of the a stirring applause, noticeably more hidden within the blistering screams. band. The marching band regularly appreciative of this performance than A semicircle forms in the front of the occupies an area of the stands directly that of their own band. Chests still crowd as 20 kids begin pushing each in front the ISU student section for heaving from the performance, beads of other, forming a chaotic pit of sweaty home games at Jack Trice Stadium. As sweat running down their faces, they bodies. The walls of the Fall out Shelter the final seconds ran off the clock at gulp their water between broad smiles have scars from these pit battles - one the end of Iowa State's dismantling of of success. body-sized imprint and another hole Nebraska, thousands of students were The Cyclones win again. Five straight about the size of a human head. determined to rush the field, the years. As the Cyclone players slowly Mosh pits and heavy music may not marching band standing before them stream off the field, receiving hand­ be every parent's dream , but certainly notwithstanding. Only through a com­ shakes and back slaps from everyone the straight-edge message is a wel­ bination of intense yelling by some of within reaching distance, and the last comed pledge coming from a child. "It's the band members and the back rows of the black and gold shuffle to the a good feeling knowing some of the brandishing their instruments as possi­ exits, victory music flows from these probl ems that some of the young peo­ ble weapons were the excited students 300-plus proud Iowa State students. ple today have," Ronnie Slaba, Ken's convinced to go around the band, not The band plays the fight song one last mother, says. "We warned him the dan­ through or over them. time during its triumphant march back gers of getting involved in drugs and "Everyone was freaking out," Verlo to the stadium. Cyclone fans emerge things like that, but ultima tely the deci­ says. "Some people were calling DPS on from the shadows to cheer their team, sion was his." their cell phones. We were afraid we their school, their band. Now carrying a Since straight edge is a life-long deci­ were going to be trampled." large aluminum ladder, I feel proud to sion, slipping means losing respect The band learned its lesson, and be part of this formation, to be associ­ from your fellow straight edgers. In when it became apparent that ISU stu­ ated with this group. Even some of the some areas, slipping up might even be dents were going to inexplicably charge Iowa fans join the fray. met with violence in some cases. "It the field following the Cyclone's win You were the better band out there! just depends where you are," Rice says. against Texas Tech, they moved from You guys were great; our band In cities like Salt Lake City, as well as their normal spots and pulled back to sucked! e some on the East Coast, violence is the nearest comer of the stadium to associated with the straight edge­ avoid another tense encounter. crowd. Rice says in Salt Lake City, a However; Matt Smith and his band FROM EDGE PAGE 35 group of militant, straight edgers have wrongly assumed that the comer­ Shelter is alcohol and smoke free. turned their camaraderie into gang-like where students could only enter by About 45 hardcore fa ns are huddled in violence- beating up and even killing climbing a railing and then jumping the small room waiting for the next people they see smoking or drinking. several feet to the ground - would be a band - Rice missed only the first band Cases like these have also popped up on hideaway from the frenzied fans. A -to can -y in its equipment and set up. the East Coast. dozen or so made the leap, almost land­ The walls are adorned with spray paint "There are a lot of kids out on the ing on the band members nearest the graffiti renditions of looters and anar­ east coast, who, although they don't do railing. The rest thought better of it and chy signs. Seven-inch records are drugs or alcohol, won't accept the label

40 I www.ethosm agazine.com because of the violence that is associat­ heads back to Ames, where he will go back towards shore. Careful to stay ed with it," Rice says. about his daily routine until the next near Pop, we let the surf take us back, In other areas, you're just discounted hardcore show. e rolling our legs out so our entire bodies as not being straight edge anymore. "If were swept along by the waves. It feels you slip up now, and you were only like flying. drug free or abstinent for a couple FROM ONE CHOICE PAGE 39 I was six when my parents divorced, years, you never were straight edge," are quick, and she will weave your ten when Pop came back into my life Rice explains. name into the band for fifty pesos. On and twenty-one today. The summer Straight edgers, caught slipping up, the way back across the border, I run trips to Texas are no longer possible; I might also lose their friends over the my fingers over the colors, red, blue have to work all summer and the indulgence- there's that much disgust and green, and feel the letters with my responsibilities of leasing an apartment involved in the act. fingertips. I pretend I am blind and think and a seriou relationship tie me to Both Slaba and Rice agree things are to myself that even if I were, I would Iowa the entire year. Pop comes up a lot tamer in this area. Neither can say know what my own name feels like. twice a yeat~ usually for Christmas and how many people are claiming straight I wonder if the ocean will look like it once in the summer. He still looks edge around Ames and Des Moines, but does on TV. We leave early in the morn­ exactly the same. As an adult, I can see Slaba says he can think of only about ing to avoid traffic, Pop says. To get to so much more- the shyness peering ten. Rice says it's more like two dozen. South Padre Island, you have to drive out from his eyes, the awkwardness he There's no real hangout for these peo­ across a mile-long bridge. In the sun­ carries like a shield and the deep love ple, except for the venues that host light, the white bridge looks endless he has for me that he holds like an hardcore shows in the area. Rice says stretched over the blue-green water. unwieldy package - difficult to grasp Minneapolis is the closest big city with Diamonds glint on the water's surface, but impossible to set down. Even so, he a solid base of straight edgers. He'll hurting my eyes. I am terrified and sometimes forgets birthdays and his let­ often drive there for a show. enthralled crossing the bridge- so ters are always separated by great laps­ Slaba says being straight edge, for much water swirling about it seems es of time. It is hard to forgive someone him, is a chance to meet likeminded impossible that it could end. We drive who forgot you for four years. It is people who listen to hardcore music right up onto the beach; our car is only harder still to admit to yourself that and hold the same moral standards. yards away from the surf. Seagull cir­ you have nothing to prove. I used to be There's no need to force his beliefs on cle over us, screeching in hunget~ We so angry at Pop for forgetting us, but other people, he says. eat lunch tailgate-style, shaded by the deep down, I just wanted one more And he is in it for the long haul. trunk above us. The wind blows sand chance to be so great that he would There's not a doubt in his mind he'll be everywhere, and I can feel the gdt in never forget me again. able to maintain his current subsis­ my teeth. It sticks to the mayonnaise on To just let go was the most difficult tence. ''I'm pretty sure I've made it my sandwich and stings my eyes. challenge of my life. I don't know why through the hardest times," he says. Although the water is a shimmering Pop left us for o long; the one time I "College is obviously where people are blue-green and sunlight bums down on tried to talk to him about it he started pulled into partying and drinking and us, the ocean is cold. The spray licks at crying. Covering his face with his stuff, and I've never felt the desire to my feet, goading me to jump in. I dive hands, he told me, "You don't know do that." in as a wave rolls in, and when I come what it was like. You don't know how it It's after midnight when the show back up, I find myself almost back on was for me." I had never seen a grown ends. Rice sees four bands play at the shore. Salt stings my eyes, fills my man cry before, and his tears made me Fallout Shelter this particular night. mouth. Pop takes me out further. Pretty feel as if I had done something terrible Each sound similat~ with screaming soon I can't touch anymore and Pop to him. I will not ask him again. e vocals and loud punishing guitars, but has to carry me. We keep walking until Rice points out the good ones h·om the only his neck and head arc above the bad ones. The crowd starts to disperse, water. With his next step, we are sud­ but many stay behind. The music has denly out of the water, the waves eddy­ stopped, so the anonymou mass of ing around Pop's knees. bodies that heaved itself in front of Pop laughs at my astonished expres- the stage has now broken back into ion, "It's a andbar; they're sprinkled small groups. all ovet~ little rises on the Aoor of the Rice doesn't stay. Four bands and one ocean." It had seemed for a split second liter of Diet Coke later, he heads for the that Pop could Ay above the sea. door. He opens his car door, slides back Standing on the sandbar with him, the behind the wheel of his Pasco, and waves pushed against me, pulling me

plzotograplzy by I CYAN JAMES december 2002 I 41