FOR ALL OGCASIONS A selection of poems, prose and party pieces
COMPILED BY Peter Barkworth
Methuen Contents
Introduction xvii Acknowledgements xxi
CHRISTMAS Mummer's Song Anonymous 3
Christmas John Betjeman 4
Advent 1955 John Betjeman 7 From A Child's Bible Shirley Stem 10 Journey of the Magi T. S. Eliot 12 The Adoration of the Magi Christopher Pilling 14 What the Donkey Saw U. A. Fanthorpe 16 The Innkeeper's Wife Clive Sansom 17 BC:AD and The Sheepdog U. A. Fanthorpe 20 From Shirley Valentine Willy Russell 22 Nativity Play Joyce Grenfell 25 My Christmas Survey Lucy Wainwright, aged 12 28 Origin of Species Phyllis McGinley 30 Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus Francis P. Church 33
vu The Boy who Laughed at Santa Claus Ogden Nash 35 Reindeer Report U. A. Fanthorpe 38 Christmas Eve Joyce Grenfell „ 39 From A Child's View of Christmas: 1 Eds. Richard & Helen Exley 41
From A Child's View of Christmas: 2 Eds. Richard & Helen Exley 45 From Cider With Rosie Laurie Lee 49 From Memories of Christmas Dylan Thomas 52 From Dear Octopus Dodie Smith 54 Christmas Dinner Michael Rosen 56 From Sketches by Boz Charles Dickens 58 Christmas in Sarajevo Bonnie Laverock, aged 11 60 Christmas Truce Captain R. J. Armes 62 The Selfish Giant Oscar Wilde 65 The Twelve Days of Christmas - A Correspondence John Julius Norwich 70 On the Twelfth Day of Christmas I Screamed David Daiches 74
Christmas Thank You's Mick Gowar 76
NEW YEAR
From In Memoriam AHH Alfred, Lord Tennyson 81
A Prayer Max Ehrmann 83
Procrastination Enid Barraclough 85
vui Nothing But Stones Ella Wheeler Wilcox 87 Patience Strong U. A. Fanthorpe 89 The New Regime Wendy Cope 91
VALENTINE'S DAY Valentine Wendy Cope 95 Poem Charles II 96 There is Nothing New to Tell You Joyce Grenfell 98 This is to Let You Know Noel Coward 99 Symptom Recital Dorothy Parker 101 A Telephone Call Dorothy Parker 102 From The Sonnets of Michelangelo Elizabeth Jennings 105 Love's Insight Robert Winnett 106 Love Poem V. de Sola Pinto 107 Love and Age Thomas Love Peacock 108 A Leaf Ella Wheeler Wilcox 111 Two Sonnets William Shakespeare 113 From The Prophet Kahlil Gibran 115 I Do Not Love Thee The Hon. Mrs Norton 116 Answer Anon (18th century) 118 The Lay of the Deserted Influenzed H. Cholmondley Pennell 119 If Thou Must Love Me Elizabeth Barrett Browning 121 The Passionate Shepherd to His Love Christopher Marlowe or William Shakespeare 123 The Life That I Have Leo Marks 125
IX EASTER To Keep A True Lent Robert Herrick 129 Christmas is Really for the Children Steve Turner 131 Joseph's Easter W. H. Vanstone 133 From The Towers ofTrebizond Rose Macaulay 134 Indifference G. A. Studdert Kennedy 136 Churchyards John Betjeman 138
ARMISTICE DAY Peace and War D. H. Lawrence 143 From The Observer Geoff Dyer 144 A Letter Written on November 11, 1920 Dorothea Mary Mayhew 146 To Any Dead Officer Siegfried Sassoon . 149 The Hero Siegfried Sassoon 151 From the Yorkshire Evening Post 152 Strange Meeting Wilfred Owen 153 His Mate G. A. Studdert Kennedy 156 Lie in the Dark and Listen Noel Coward 159 The Other Little Boats: July 1588 Edward Shanks 161 From The Folkestone, Hythe & District Herald 162 From a letter written by Evelyn Waugh to his wife Laura 164 The Battle of Blenheim Robert Southey . 166 The Soldier Rupert Brooke 169 Everyone Sang Siegfried Sassoon 170 THEATRE BENEFITS Love Note to a Playwright Phyllis McGinley 175 The Boy Actor Noel Coward - 178 From Star Quality Noel Coward 181 From Lost Fortnight Ray Connolly 184 Irene Vanbrugh Memorial Matinee: The Epilogue Noel Coward 186 Twenty Tactful Phrases to Help a Voice-Over Artiste Feel At Home 189 From Sheppey W. Somerset Maugham 191 Emergency Lines Nicholas Craig 193 Hamlet's Advice to the Players William Shakespeare 195 Instructions to an Actor Edwin Morgan 197 When I Read Shakespeare D. H. Lawrence 199 Social Grace Noel Coward 200 Value for Money Michael Frayn 202 TV. OD. Andrew Maclean 204 Mrs Worthington, Don't Put Your Daughter On the Stage Noel Coward 206
CHURCH CONCERTS One of Our St Bernard Dogs is Missing N. F. Simpson 211 Blame the Vicar John Betjeman 216 Electric Light and Heating John Betjeman 219 Cathedral Builders John Ormond 222
XI From The Towers of Trebizond Rose Macaulay 224 The Holy Well Anonymous 226 Fidele's Grassy Tomb Sir Henry Newbolt 228 From The Book of Daniel 231 Sinner and Saint G. A. Studdert Kennedy 23 5 Paterfamilias Phyllis McGinley 237 Do I Believe Noel Coward 239 Miracles Walt Whitman 241 Ithaca C. P Cavajy 243 How Long, O Lord . . .? Keith Waterhouse 245 The Secret Ralph Spaulding Cushman 248
CHARITY DO'S An Occasion of This Nature Michael Frayn 251 A Speech Joyce Grenfell 254 From A Letter of James 256 Blind Children Christopher Fry 258 For a Tree-Planting Christopher Fry 259
MUSICAL EVENINGS Atheist's Hymn Anonymous 263 Playing the Harmonium E P. Harton 264 At a Recital Paul Tortelier 266 From Full Circle Janet Baker 268 From Duet For One Tom Kempinski 270
xn LUNCHES AND DINNERS From A Room of One's Own Virginia Woolf 273 Advertisement Wendy Cope . 275 From The Stage Favourites' Cook Book Elizabeth Craig 276 Christmas Cheating Nanette Newman 278 Recipe for a Salad Sydney Smith ' 280 From Ecclesiasticus 281 Letter the Second Jane Austen 283
CHRISTENINGS Infancy W. H. Davies 289 Baby Song Thorn Gunn 290 Infant Joy William Blake 291 The Lamb William Blake • 292 When I Was Young Tracy Saunders, aged 11 293 Why? Nicola Sims, aged 8 294 My Baby Brother Shalamar Smith, aged 12 295 Inevitable Ella Wheeler Wilcox 296 What A Grandmother Is 297 The New School Annabel Gullett, aged 11 298
WEDDINGS From The Prophet Kahlil Gibran 303 Sonnet 116 William Shakespeare 304
xui Untitled Author unknown 305 The Father of the Bride Keith Waterhouse and Willis Hall 306 And Yet I Don't Know Bob Weston and Bert Lee 309
FUNERALS AND MEMORIAL SERVICES
Death Is Nothing At All Henry Scott Holland 313 From Ecclesiastes 315
From Cymbeline William Shakespeare 316 From The Tempest William Shakespeare 318 From An Essay William Hazlitt 319
My Days Among the Dead are Passed Robert Southey 321 We Are Seven William Wordsworth 323
He Wishes For the Cloths of Heaven W. B. Yeats 326 Untitled Author unknown ' 327 From The Prophet Kahlil Gibran 328 When I Have Fears Noel Coward 330 I'm Here For A Short Visit Only Noel Coward 331
Epitaph Author unknown 332 Go Cheerful Rosemary Anne Sisson 333 Indian Prayer Author unknown 335 I Am Not There Author unknown and Do Not Be Afraid American Indian . 337 A Song of Living Amelia Josephine Burr 338 Man's Mortality Anonymous 340
xiv How Do I Love Thee? Elizabeth Barrett Browning 344 Heraclitus William Johnson Cory 345 If I Should Go Before the Rest of You Joyce Grenfell 346 Song Christina Rossetti 347 Remember Christina Rossetti 348 When Earth's Last Picture is Painted Rudyard Kipling 349 The Ship Bishop Charles H. Brent 350 How Long is a Man's Life? Brian Patten 352
THE FOUR SEASONS
Tree Cheryl Martin, aged 12 357 The First Spring Day Christina Rossetti 3 59 The Fight of the Year Roger McGough 360 Home Thoughts From Abroad' Robert Browning 362 The Poem I'd Like To Write Clive Sansom 364 A Nursery Rhyme Wendy Cope 365 Springtime Tim Shackleton 366 From The Weald of Youth Siegfried Sassoon 367 Summer John Betjeman 369 From the Evening Standard 370 Prayer For Michaelmas Viola Garvin 372 Autumn 1964 John Betjeman 374 Back From Australia John Betjeman 375 Ode to Autumn John Keats 376
xv November Tom Hood 378 Snowflakes Clive Sansom 380 London Snow Robert Bridges . 382 Snow in Suburbia David Lodge 384 When the River Thames Froze 386 December Stillness Siegfried Sassoon 388
SHOW-OFF POEMS How the Water Comes Down at Lodore Robert Southey 391 Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat T. S. Eliot 394 The King's Breakfast A. A. Milne 397 Look Closer Phyllis McCormack 401 Consumer Complaint C. Marjorie Smith 403
Time Joyce Grenfell v 405 Mrs Malone Eleanor Farjeon 407 From Miss Thompson Goes Shopping Martin Armstrong 412 The Glory of the Garden Rudyard Kipling 414 At Lord's Francis Thompson 416 Little Aggie Author unknown 418 Billy's Rose George R. Sims 421 Tarantella Hilaire Belloc 425 The Highwayman Alfred Noyes 427
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