Cohabitation: Placing disability centre stage
Jane Elizabeth Malone
ATCL (Teaching) (Hons), BSc (Med) MBBS (Hons), FAFRM (RACP)
Supervisor Dr Errol Bray (Principal)
Submitted in fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts (Research) Playwrighting Cohort Creative Industries Faculty, Queensland University of Technology 2011
KEYWORDS: playwriting, performance, disability, paraplegia, wheelchair, Australian theatre.
ii AUTHORSHIP
The work contained in this thesis has not been previously submitted to meet the requirements for an award at this or any other higher education institution. To the best of my knowledge and belief, the thesis contains no material previously published or written by another person except where due reference is made.
Signed…………………………………………………..
Dated……………………………………………………
iii
ABSTRACT
The play Cohabitation places disability centre stage by creating a three dimensional protagonist who is also a wheelchair user. The accompanying exegesis examines the challenges associated with creating such a character for theatre, using a practice-led methodology.
During the process of writing my case study play, I have investigated the international literature, reflected on my experience as a physician specialising in rehabilitation and collaborated with members of the Australian and international disability communities. I have also reflected on the historical stereotypes associated with disability and integrated the contemporary experience of wheelchair users into my script.
By organising a production of the play in Australia and directing a rehearsed reading of the play in New York, I was able to scrutinise my additional goal of casting an actor who was also a wheelchair user. My research illuminates the issues involved in writing and producing a play in which the lead character also has a physical disability, and I would hope, offers insight into the creation of such a character and script.
iv ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to take this opportunity to thank:
• Dr Errol Bray, my supervisor, for his help, patience and advice, and
especially for agreeing to conduct a supervisor’s meeting in New York.
• My family- John, Lois, Naomi, Therese, Fran, Elio, Luella, Tommy,
Alissa, John and Jimmy- for their support always.
• Steph Hughes, Jules Kong and Naomi Malone who produced the play in
Sydney.
• Jim Malone, Lou Robinson, Heidi Turnock, Paul Sullivan, Kate O’Brien,
Chris Callinan and Jane Stanton for their support during the Sydney
production.
• The After Party Project advisory committee, team and volunteers,
especially James Hutton, Ben Slack, Nicole Slack and Will Uther, who
worked to ensure the Sydney production was universally accessible.
• Anthony Masterson and John Maclean for their guidance and wisdom.
• Christine Bruno, Mitch Longley and the Alliance of Resident Theatres,
New York.
• Kerryn Payne for her assistance, and Jane Carroll and Fran and Elio
Cordaro for their final encouragement.
• All the family, cousins, friends, actors, writers and directors making up
the loose collective of Roscoe St Readers circa 2005-2010.
• The Three Weeds Writers.
v TABLE OF CONTENTS
KEYWORDS……………………………………………………...... ii STATEMENT OF AUTHORSHIP………………………………………… iii ABSTRACT………………………………………………………………... iv ACKNOWLEDGMENTS…………………………………………………. v TABLE OF CONTENTS…………………………………………………... vi DEDICATION……………………………………………………………... viii CHAPTER ONE……………………………………………….. 1 Introduction………………………………………………………………… 1 CHAPTER TWO……………………………………………… 4 Literature Review……….………………………………………………….. 4 Contextual Review…………………………………………………………. 8 i. Disability and Character……………………………………………… 8 ii. Disability and Casting………………………………………………...12 CHAPTER THREE…………………………………………… 17 Methodology……………………………………………………………….. 17 i. Practice-led research………………………………………………... 17 ii. Interviews…………………………………………………………... 18 iii. Journal Writing……………………………………………………... 20 iv. Productions…………………………………………………………. 21
CHAPTER FOUR……………………………………………... 22 Creative Process……………………………………………………………. 22 i. Introducing the Character…………………………………….…….. 23 ii. Introducing the Wheelchair………………………………………… 24 iii. Creating a Second Draft……………………………………………. 26 iv. Script Consultation…………………………………………………. 28 v. Stage and Set Design……………………………………………….. 29
vi CHAPTER FIVE………………………………………………. 31
Reflective Analysis of My Writing Process……………………………….. 31 i. Plot…………………………………………………………………… 31 ii. Character…………………………………………………………….. 35 iii. Subplot…………………………………………………...………….. 37 iv. Structure……………………………………………………………... 38 v. Dialogue……………………………………………………………… 39 vi. Editing……………………………………………………………….. 40 CHAPTER SIX………………………………………………… 41 The Sydney Production…………………………………………………….. 41 CHAPTER SEVEN……………………………………………. 45 The New York Reading……………………………………………………. 45 CHAPTER EIGHT……………………………………………. 48 The Play Script – Cohabitation…………………………………………….. 48 CHAPTER NINE……………………………………………… 196 Conclusion………………………………………………………………….. 196 APPENDIX…………………………………………………….. 198 Appendix A - Theatre Companies for Persons with Disability...... 198 Appendix B - Television and Film Referenced in Exegesis……………….. 199 Appendix C - Interviews…………………………………………………… 201 Appendix D - ‘Fred’ in January Draft……………………………………… 202 Appendix E - Gina Grumpy Exercise……………………………………… 203 Appendix F - Edited Scene……………………………………………….… 204 Appendix G - Deleted Scene Beginning 2.2……………………………….. 205 Appendix H - Deleted Comedic Scene .……………………………………. 206 Appendix I - ‘My Venn Diagram of You’ song……………………………. 207 BIBLIOGRAPHY……………………………………………....209
vii DEDICATION
For Naomi
viii CHAPTER ONE
Introduction
After working in theatre for five years as a playwright, I began to ask myself why, as a part-time doctor specialising in disability and rehabilitation, I had not yet placed a character with a disability at the centre of one of my plays.
Some of my favourite plays are about characters who exist on the margins of society, for example, The Elephant Man (Pomerance, 1979), Children of a
Lesser God (Medoff, 1982), and Endgame (Beckett, 1957). Yet to date, the plays I had written were largely about middle class white people who seem to spend much of their time sipping lattes lamenting the demise of left-wing politics.
It was Hamlet, playing at being a director perhaps, who declared the purpose of theatre is to hold ‘the mirror up to nature’ (Shakespeare, 2000). In doing so, he was echoing classical authors whose view it was that drama be a form of truth. Just under one in five Australians have a disability, be it sensory, intellectual or physical (ABS, 2009) yet the representation of people with disabilities on stage is significantly less.
Prior to my research, I was aware of some plays about characters with hearing impairment, vision impairment and intellectual impairment, but on reflection, I was unaware of any plays that focused on a character with paraplegia. Through my work as a Rehabilitation Physician, I was familiar with the key biological, psychological and social issues experienced by wheelchair users. I was also aware of some of their key fears, hopes and frustrations. I
1 knew one of these frustrations to be a lack of community understanding about paraplegia, and the tendency by some members of the community to view people with paraplegia as disabled, rather than as an ordinary person who just happens to use a wheelchair for mobility. I decided to set myself the challenge of writing a play with a character at its centre who is also wheelchair user.
It was my goal that this character would be viewed by the audience first and foremost as a three dimensional person, rather than as a person with a disability. Indeed, I hoped to create a character in which the wheelchair would be seen as secondary to the character's intellect, romantic sensibility, ambition and dreams.
In embarking on the project I recognised that I would need to investigate the local and international literature, integrate my clinical expertise of paraplegia into my proposed script, and consult wheelchair users themselves.
I anticipated my medical experience in the management of spinal cord injury would inform the creative work and the exegetical component of the research as well.
A further and significant aim for me was to create a role that could be performed by an actor who was a wheelchair user himself. As a Rehabilitation
Physician, I have seen the lives of many athletes with paraplegia transformed by opportunities in wheelchair sport. There are limited opportunities for actors who are wheelchair users in the theatre.
In 2008 Australia ratified the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (ADDC, 2008). Some of the specific articles of the
Convention include full and effective participation and inclusion in society and
2 equality of opportunity (UN, 2008). Theatre is one area in which participation, inclusion and equality of opportunity are less than optimal. I could see the possibilities of creating a model of theatre practice that might encourage producers of theatre to use actors with disabilities in their productions. I set out in the hope that the knowledge gained might provide myself and other theatre practitioners with a helpful framework for writing for wheelchair users and actors with other disabilities in the future.
For the purposes of this study, it is my intention that my play should be weighted at 70% of assessment marks and the exegesis at 30%.
In keeping with the practice within the profoundly deaf community,
‘Deaf’ will be capitalised.
3 CHAPTER TWO
Literature Review
Representation of disability on stage has been present in drama since antiquity. An early example from Greek Drama is the character of Oedipus in
Oedipus the King (Sophocles, 1991). In the play, Oedipus’ father Laius attempts to maim his son by tying his feet together. The play is one of the earliest references to lower limb deformity in theatre. Interestingly for me, the medical term for swelling in the lower legs, ‘oedema’, has its origins in this play.
Shakespeare frequently used disability to add drama and tension to his writing. In his earliest tragedy, Titus Andronicus (Shakespeare, 2002), Lavinia has her hands cut off and is rendered mute after a rape attack. In King Lear
(Shakespeare, 1993), Gloucester is blinded after an eye gouging, and the play
Richard 111 (Shakespeare, 2000) has a protagonist with a back deformity.
Disability in twentieth century drama is characterised by a more detailed exploration by dramatists of what it means to be disabled, with plays centred around vision impairment, hearing impairment and cerebral palsy gaining main stage attention. For example, in Brian Friel’s play Molly Sweeney (Friel, 1994)
Molly has been blind since infancy. She undergoes an operation to try to restore her sight, with mixed results. This play was inspired by a short story by the neurologist Oliver Sacks (Canby, 1996). John Mortimer also writes in some detail about vision impairment in his semi autobiographical play A Voyage
Round My Father (Mortimer, 2007). The play describes Mortimer's own
4 childhood and young adult life growing up with his barrister father who was blind.
Mark Medoff’s celebrated Children of a Lesser God (Medoff, 1982) focuses on the difficult professional and romantic relationship between a deaf student and her teacher. The play was specially written for the Deaf actress
Phyllis Frelich and based to some extent on her relationship with her husband.
It was initially developed from workshops held at New Mexico State University and when it eventually transferred to Broadway, it won the 1980 Tony Award for Best Play.
Playwright Peter Nichols uses his own experiences as the father of a child with cerebral palsy to form the basis of his insightful and courageous play
A Day in the Death of Joe Egg (Nicholls, 1967). The play was listed by the
National Theatre of London as one of the most significant plays of the twentieth century. It is highly entertaining and revealing as it exposes the range of emotional responses disability can incite, despite the fact the character with the disability does not appear on stage. Its Broadway production won the 1968
Tony Award for Best Play.
There is a pattern here: the more successful plays about disability seem to be written by playwrights who have some personal experience of the disability itself. This suggested to me that my own personal experiences could aid my creation of an authentic character.
Prolific English writer Alan Brown did write specifically about a person with a disability early in his career. Wheelchair Willie (Brown, 1977) centres on an eighteen year old wheelchair user who is socially isolated and severely
5 neglected by his mother and his younger sister. His vulnerability is exposed early in the play when, in a chilling scene, a visiting TV repairman abuses him.
Willie then moves in with his sister, but is further compromised when he is pressured into fathering two of her children. In a nod to the Greeks, one of the children is subsequently fatally burned, while the other is kicked to death. The plot is morbid and the play does little to elevate the character of Willie, and his disability, beyond helplessness and incapacity.
American disability advocate Victoria Lewis includes a play about a wheelchair user in her seminal collection Beyond Victims and Villains:
Contemporary Plays by Disabled Playwrights (Lewis, 2006). The anthology is an American attempt to create characters with disability who have a resonance and integrity beyond the issue of their disability. One of the plays included in the Lewis anthology is No One as Nasty (Nussbaum, 2006) by Susan
Nussbaum. It explores the class and race dynamic between an African-
American female wheelchair user and her white assistant. Nussbaum borrows heavily from surrealist theatre, using montages, reflective monologues, dreams and enactments of the physical challenges a wheelchair user faces in the world, and in doing so, creates an informative and emotive piece. However, much of the drama is a result of tension between the wheelchair user and her carer, which only serves to reinforce the stereotype of dependence.
The multi award winning musical Wicked (Holzman, 2003) with music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz and book by Winnie Holzman features a character who is a wheelchair user. It is based on the novel Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (Maguire, 1995) by Gregory
6 Maguire. The character, Nessarose, is the sister of the protagonist Elphaba. The musical has broken records around the world (Gans, 2011) but the potential positive impact is muted by the fact that Nessarase spends most of her time wishing she could walk. In addition, she is the object of a cruel trick. In the middle of the first half, one of the characters Boq declares his love for the future Good Witch of the North, who tells him he will be her hero is he dances with Nessarose. Nessarose is later thrilled at the prospect and becomes infatuated with Boq, an infatuation which remains unrequited.
New York playwright Mark St Germain features a character who is a wheelchair user in his naturalistic play The God Committee (St Germain, 2006).
The play revolves around a group of people who have to make the decision as to which patient is to receive a donor heart. The group is made up of four doctors, one nurse, a lay person, a priest and a social worker, Dominick, who is the wheelchair user. As a person who has spent many years working alongside social workers, I found the character of Dominick beautifully drawn and authentic. Social workers are known for their pragmatism and efficiency, both of which are realistically portrayed in this character. In addition, Dominick is responsible for much of the comic relief in the play, endearing him to his fellow characters, and the reader. Unfortunately though, his character is only ever an adjunct to the main action.
Interestingly, there are some community theatre companies internationally and locally creating work for people with disabilities other than paraplegia. The esteemed British Graeae Theatre Company has been in existence since the 1990s. In Australia, Back to Back Theatre, Rawcus Theatre
7 Company and Ever After Theatre employ actors with disability and the
Australian Theatre of the Deaf has been showcasing the work of actors who are
Deaf for thirty years (Appendix A). To date however, there are no theatre companies internationally or in Australia specifically designed to create work for actors who are wheelchair users, and there is no theatre company in
Australia who has an actor who is a wheelchair user as part of its ensemble.
Contextual Review
Disability and Character
As I suspected, the number of characters who were wheelchair users that had been created for the stage were few. And, apart from the character of
Dominick in The God Committee (St Germain, 2006), it seemed to me that most of the characters had been created within the so called medical model of disability.
This was surprising to me as this model, which ‘emphasises an individual’s physical or mental deficit’ (Lancet, 2009) was largely replaced last century by the more progressive social model of disability, which highlights instead ‘the barriers and prejudice that exclude people with disabilities from fully engaging in society’ (Lancet, 2009).
Disability Advocate Michael Oliver in his book Understanding
Disability: From Theory to Practice (Oliver, 1996) refers to the representation of people with disability within the medical model as one which emphasises
‘the personal tragedy theory of disability’ (Ibid, p 32). I was fascinated and
8 saddened to confirm that in an age in which wheelchair users are well represented across all fields from politics and business to academia and elite sports, there was such antiquated representation of wheelchair users on stage.
The American Disability Rights advocate Paul K. Longmore in his book
Why I Burnt My Books and Other Essays On Disability (Longmore, 2002) maintains the search for heroes is a key part of the continuing struggle by people with disabilities to gain a voice and shape their destinies. He urges
… [the] understanding of disability as a major variety of human experience, to establish it as a category of social, political, and historical analysis in much the same way that race, gender, and class already have been (Longmore 2002, p 32).
There has been some progress towards this understanding in the creation of characters with other disabilities. Indeed the American writer Mireya
Navarro opines the last decade has seen the movement towards the treatment of people with disabilities in pop culture as 'people who happen to have a disability, rather than as people defined by disability' (Navarro, 2007).
The effervescent actor Marlee Matlin in her recurring role as the Deaf political adviser Joey Lucas in the TV series The West Wing (Appendix B,
2000) is one example of a well developed post-modern character who just happens to have disability. In the Australian series We Can Be Heroes: Search for Australian of the Year (Appendix B, 2005) three of the five lead characters have a disability: Pat Mullins has a congenital leg defect, Nathan Sims is hearing impaired, and Phil Olivetti has lost some hand and arm functionality
9 (Mantle, 2008). All are beautifully drawn three dimensional characters for whom disability is just one part of an integrated whole.
Perhaps the development of such characters is a reaction to the growing chorus of researchers seeking to understand what lecturers Liz Ferrier and Viv
Muller refer to as ‘ability from a disability perspective, rather than disability from an able-ist perspective’ (Ferrier and Muller, 2008). Disability advocates
Tom Shakespeare and Nicholas Watson in their article The Social Model of
Disability: An outdated ideology (Shakespeare and Watson, 2002) wonder if the social model of disability is outdated, noting ‘many disabled people do not want to see themselves as disabled, either in terms of the medical model or the social model’ (Ibid, p 20).
However Disability Cultural Activist Petra Kuppers in her landmark paper The Wheelchair’s Rhetoric: The Performance of Disability (Kuppers,
2007) opines the wheelchair is still being used by Hollywood as ‘tragic, confining and negative’ (Ibid, p 80). In the movie thriller Hannibal (Appendix
B, 2001), Gary Oldman plays a severely disfigured wheelchair using villain bent on vengeance. Kenneth Branagh is the sad genius who drives a device laden wheelchair in the 1999 movie Wild Wild West (Appendix B) and in the
1999 thriller The Bone Collector (Appendix B) Denzel Washington’s character is a suicidally depressed man with quadriplegia until he finds a clichéd route to recovery through the assistance of a policewoman played by Angelina Jolie.
It could be argued that there is an informal non-judgmental depiction of wheelchair use in the films X Men (Appendix B, 2000), Training Day
10 (Appendix B, 2001) and Unbreakable (Appendix B, 2000). The wheelchair using characters though are not protagonists. Of note, I found the 1999 film The
Waterdance (Appendix B, 1992) about three newly injured paraplegics adjusting to life in wheelchairs to be a realistic portrayal of life in a rehabilitation ward. The writer and co-director Neal Jimenez is himself a wheelchair user and drew on his own life experiences when writing the film
(Shannon, 2003).
The last decade has seen more realistic portrayals of characters who are also wheelchair users on American television. There have been semi-regular roles or appearances by wheelchair users in the TV serials Ed, CSI, Desperate
Housewives, Judging Amy, Weeds and Las Vegas (Appendix B). However, there is rarely much development of these secondary characters.
Possibly the most high profile wheelchair user on screen at present is the character of Artic Abrams in the American Fox musical television comedy drama Glee (Appendix B, 2009). Although Artie is a fully integrated singing and dancing member of the Glee Club, his character has been criticised for being a stereotype and serving ‘mostly as a punch line’ (Shawna, 2009).
The 2005 documentary feature film Murder Ball (Appendix B, 2005) offered a compelling depiction of wheelchair use. The film crew followed a group of men in the Canadian and US Wheelchair Basketball teams in the lead up to the Paralympics. The players are honest and intelligent and disarm the viewer with their humour and resilience. The viewer is also privy to frank
11 discussion of sex and relationships, which are informative and funny. It was nominated for the 2006 Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature.
Disability and Casting It was very important to me that my play be written so that I could cast an actor who was also a wheelchair user. As a Rehabilitation Physician, I have witnessed the attitude of many patients change following motivational talks by people who are also wheelchair users as they relate their experiences of being able to pursue their dreams in business, politics or elite sport. Following a diagnosis of paraplegia, there is no medical impediment to being able to act.
The only barriers are social and cultural. There are very few opportunities for actors who are also wheelchair users in Australia. I wanted this play to be one.
I am a passionate advocate of disability rights and have been following the debate within the disability rights movement with regards to authenticity in casting. There are increasingly vocal calls for characters with disability to be played by actors with disability. In the United States, actor and wheelchair user
Dan Murphy has ‘led a modest revolution’ by appearing in the Farrelly
Brothers’ comedy films Kingpin, There’s Something About Mary, Shallow Hal and Me, Myself and Irene (Appendix B). And the actor and wheelchair user
Mitch Longley has appeared as characters who are wheelchair users in the TV shows Weeds, Desperate Housewives and Judging Amy (Appendix B).
The casting of an actor who was not a wheelchair user in Glee drew criticism from the disability community, who argued the casting was inappropriate (Elber, 2009). CSI star Robert David Hill, himself a wheelchair
12 user, commented at the time he thought there was a fear that a person ‘with disabilities might slow a production down, and fear that viewers might be uncomfortable’ (Elber, 2009).
In 2009 The New York Times covered the protest by Deaf actors and disability advocates surrounding the New York Theatre Workshop’s production of Rebecca Gilman’s adaptation of Carson McCullers novel The Heart is a
Lonely Hunter (McCullers, 2000). When a hearing actor was cast as the central deaf character John Singer, actress and board member of the Alliance for
Inclusion in the Arts Linda Bove said, ‘A hearing actor playing a deaf character is tantamount to putting a white actor in blackface’ ( Healy, 2009).
In the United Kingdom, film director Richard Curtis insisted a Deaf actor be cast in the role of Hugh Grant’s character’s Deaf brother David in the film Four Weddings and A Funeral (Curtis, 1994). In the recent production of
Carrie’s War (Reeves, 2006) in the West End, Jamie Beddard, an actor with disability, was cast in the role of a character with disability. Writing about his experiences in The Guardian he lamented the ongoing challenges faced by actors with disability:
Unfortunately, some industry people still struggle with the idea that disabled actors may be best-placed to play disabled characters, and continue to represent disability through clouded prisms of metaphor and caricature (Beddard, 2009)
In Australia, Human Rights and Disability Discrimination
Commissioner Graeme Innes called for change in a speech to NSW Arts in
2007.
13 It would be disappointing if the role of a person of Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander descent, or of a person of Afro-Caribbean descent was played by a person with white skin. Whilst acting and performing involves the ability to represent and play the role of someone else, those sorts of difficulties are not lightly dismissed. Yet routinely, people with disabilities are played by people who do not have disabilities (Malone, 2007).
The same year Lee Lewis argued for more racially inclusive casting policies in
Cross Racial Casting - Challenging the Face of Australian Theatre (Lewis,
2007). In an interview with Australian theatre critic Bryce Hallett in The Sydney
Morning Herald she stated:
Without a comprehensive policy of diverse casting the main stage theatres and their directors are being silently complicit in realising a future for Australia of whites and exclusion (Hallett, 2007).
There has been some progress in the depiction of characters with disabilities other than paraplegia. In television, the Deaf actor Caroline Conlon has regularly appeared on Australian television most notably as a Deaf character in the medical drama All Saints (Appendix B, 1998). The character of
Toby in Chris Lilley’s series Summer Heights High (Appendix B, 2007) featured an actor who had an intellectual disability. The short winning film for the 2009 Tropfest competition, Be My Brother (Appendix B, 2009) directed by
Genevieve Clay, featured a character and actor with Down Syndrome (Malone,
2009a). The actor, Gerard O’Dwyer, was subsequently awarded Best Actor in the competition (Malone, 2009a).
14 I was aware of a theatre production in which an actor who was also a wheelchair user was cast. The director of the Ensemble Theatre, Sandra Bates, cast actor and wheelchair user Peter Turnbull in a production of David
Williamson’s Emerald City (Williamson, 1987). Turnbull had studied acting at the Ensemble Studios prior to the accident which left him needing to use a wheelchair and although the Williamson play did not specify that the character be a wheelchair user, Bates thought him well suited to the part (Malone, 2006).
The play was a box office success (Malone, 2006).
In A Background Paper for the Cultural Action Plan for People With a
Disability in NSW (McLaren, 2007) Development Officer Alison McLaren addressed the need for opportunity and affirmative action:
Some arts organisations explained that they are prepared to commit to trying to find, develop and modify productions to create a safe and practical way of accommodating a person with a disability who has the necessary ability. There is a general lack of awareness of what is possible. (2007, pg 21)
Jeremy Muir is a Queensland based actor and wheelchair user. In an interview with me, he lamented the lack of roles created specifically for actors who are wheelchair users:
When I have been on stage since acquiring my disability, I felt very uncomfortable not just due to self-consciousness but also the role was not specifically written for a person with a disability so I didn’t quite fit. I am a person who would love to act again but my fear is I would out of place during performance and that the audience would not find it easy to accept me as a whole person or performer, but that may be due to my own lack of confidence.(Muir, 2009, Appendix C)
15
He hinted at a wider impact such writing could have: If more roles are written that focus on the whole person, who just happens to have a disability, then this can only have a positive affect on the community as it helps promote acceptance to different people, different body types and alternative performance. (Ibid, 2009, Appendix C)
Following my review of the literature and broad context for my thesis, I felt even more empowered to continue on my journey of creating a central character who was also a wheelchair user for the stage. Not only did the review reveal there to be a paucity of theatre wheelchair characters, but it also showed that those in existence largely focused on the wheelchair user within the context of the medical model of disability. I felt challenged by the opportunity of creating a character outside both the medical and social models of disability. I felt even more determined to create a play in which the character with the disability could be played by an actor with disability. I anticipated my rehabilitation studies would inform the work and assist me in this challenge.
16 CHAPTER THREE
Methodology
My area of research interest began with a practical intention, which was to demonstrate to myself that I could create an effective drama with a wheelchair user as a principal character. A practice-led approach was, therefore, an obvious methodology, and one which also offered flexible research opportunities.
Practice-Led Research
Brad Haseman notes practice-led research is that form of research which begins at an ‘experiential starting point from which practice follows’ (Haseman
2006, p 101). I clearly had an intentional starting point, and within practice-led research, a rigorous yet flexible tool from which I anticipated a thorough investigation could follow.
As a reflexive methodology, practice-led research would also enable me to evaluate my experience by way of rigorous analysis via the documenting of the ‘enquiry cycle’ (Haseman 2007, p 152). Haseman notes this cycle is characterised by the ‘self-critical movement between experience and reflection
… as practice and experience are systematically honed and refined’ (Haseman
2007, p 152). I anticipated such an approach would facilitate an exacting investigation into my topic, while also enabling me to incorporate my previous experience as a clinician and as a playwright. A number of research tools were available within the practice-led framework.
17 Interviews
In order to garner further insights into wheelchair use in theatre productions and enable appropriate consultation with the disability and theatrical communities, I needed a flexible tool by which to gather information.
In his book Qualitative Research Methods for the Social Sciences, Professor
Bruce Berg defines the interview as the ‘conversation with a purpose.
Specifically, the purpose to gather information’ (2004, p 75). Conducting a series of semi-structured interviews would allow me to canvas the opinions and expertise of a number of stakeholders. Professors Norman Denzin and Yvonne
Lincoln in their book The Sage Handbook of Qualitative Research (2005, p 79) list the following useful features of the semi-structured interview:
• More or less unstructured.
• Questions may be recorded during the interview.
• Wording of questions flexible.
• Level of language may be adjusted.
• Interviewer may answer questions and make clarifications.
• Interviewer may add or delete probes to interview between subsequent
subjects. (Denzin and Lincoln, 2005, p 79)
This seemed a very effective tool with which to research my topic because the questions are typically asked of each interviewee in a systematic and consistent order, but the interviewers are allowed freedom to digress and to probe beyond the answers to their prepared standardised questions. (2005, p 81)
Importantly, the semi-structured interview allows participants to reflect on their answers, or consult personal journals or other resources, prior to the
18 interview, facilitating more accurate and expansive answers. As is noted by
Professors Erika Gubium and Mirka Koro-Ljungberg in Contending With
Border Making in the Social Constructionist Interview the habit of ‘forgetting autobiographical life events suggests a linear loss with time’ (2005, p 689). I anticipated in many instances I would be attempting to gather information pertaining to the interviewee’s experiences some years ago. It was hoped that by choosing a tool that allowed the interviewee to reflect or consult before the interview, this would lead to more accurate and considered reflections; memory being a plastic and dynamic process, added to and recreated selectively over time.
Choosing the semi-structured interview as an investigative tool also enables the interviewer and interviewee to improvise questions and share opinions and ideas, and is more anthropologically consistent with dialogue practices of the theatrical community. Theatre is inherently a collaborative art, and its practitioners often dynamic in discussion and interview situations. By working within a semi-structured environment, I hoped to foster the innate spontaneity and creativity (in terms of innovation and imagination) of the interviewees and this might result in a more comprehensive and comfortable sharing of information.
It has been suggested by Denzin and Lincoln that we inhabit a performance based dramaturgical culture (2005, p 26). Berg (2004) describes the complex role playing that exists in the context of the interview and details the interviewer as actor, director and choreographer.
19 All interviews are essentially a performance by the interviewer and interviewee, with the mutual goal of capturing the opinions, thoughts and musings in time that will best serve the inquiry of the interviewer. (2004, p 103)
Berg says that the onus is on the interviewer to ‘stage’ the interview with the ‘actor’, that is the interviewee, in mind. Within my theatre background
I have worked as both an actor and director, and thus I found this reflection particularly useful. I therefore felt prepared to give each interview its due
‘staging’.
Journal Writing
As a medical doctor and playwright, I have kept my own journal of reflections for many years. I write in a diary at least twice weekly, using it to record thoughts and ideas. Stephanie Dowrick in Creative Journal Writing: The
Art and Heart of Reflection writes:
Many journal writers who are also professional writers use their journals as the place to develop ideas or reflect on their intellectual work in progress. (2009, p 6)
Indeed, I have dedicated many pages to ideas for characters, themes and plots for my plays over the years.
I was concerned that my diary might be too subjective to be included as a research tool. However educator David Walker in the book Writing and
Reflection: Turning Experience into Learning states, ‘Writing helped bring a sense of distance and objectivity that helped the learner see that experience more clearly’ (1985, p 58). He points in particular to the value of a journal’s written nature, highlighting ‘objectivity, the ability to share experiences, and
20 the ability to clarify’ (1985, p 58) as important advantages of the discipline of keeping a diary. Indeed, I have found the practice of regularly reflecting on the contents of my journal has resulted in a degree of relative objectivity that I might have otherwise lacked. Journal entries have an immediacy about them, being recorded and reflected upon at the time of the events, and are thus a more accurate way of reviewing practice and development than relying on memory.
Productions
As this is practice-led research, the writing of the play was a major component of the research. In order to gauge my success in creating a three dimensional character who was also a wheelchair user, I felt the play needed to be tested with actors and an audience. As such I planned to direct a production of the play in Sydney and, through theatre contacts I had developed in America, organise a rehearsed reading of the play in New York.
21 CHAPTER FOUR
Creative Process
As noted in Chapter Two, there was not a lot of literature available in my research field, therefore I felt the need to consult theatre industry workers and disability practitioners about their experiences through a series of interviews. I took particular care to gain ethical clearance for the interview practice as the subject matter could be considered sensitive (NHMRC
Registered EC00171).
In today’s theatre industry, it might be considered inappropriate for playwrights who do not identify with a particular minority to write the story of that group. It was my intention that the character with disability be only one character in an ensemble, and that the play not be specifically about disability.
Nevertheless, I was keen to canvass the opinions of stakeholders within the disability rights movement.
Al McEwin, Australian Chief Executive Officer of People With
Disabilities (2007-8), considered that as long as there was ‘proper consultation with the community’, the fact that I was a non-wheelchair user myself should not inhibit my right to create a work with a character who was (McEwin, 2009,
Appendix C). Encouraged, I sought an international opinion.
American actor, writer and disability advocate Christine Bruno is a policy officer at Alliance for Inclusion in the Arts in New York. She was visiting Sydney for an Accessible Arts Conference and I sought her perspective during a meeting about disability in theatre at Accessible Arts NSW. My
22 journal records her comment: ‘if you don’t write it, who will?’ (Malone,
2009b).
Of course, the ultimate goal of any rights movement is for individuals representing that movement to record their own stories. I look forward to that day.
Introducing the Character
Script consultant Linda Seger in Creating Unforgettable Characters states:
The creation of character begins with what you know. But general research may not yield enough information. You’ll also need to do specific research to fill in character details that may not be part of your own observation and experience (Seger, 1990, p 24).
Through my clinical, community and social networks, I felt I had general knowledge about wheelchair use, and I was now keen to do the specific research which would best enable me to layer the character and the play with specific details that could add a sense of authenticity to the situation.
In considering how to introduce my wheelchair character, I reflected on the movie The Crying Game (Jordan, 1992) in which the girlfriend of the protagonist is eventually revealed to be a man. This film allows an audience to get to know the character as a three dimensional person first before overtly revealing his transgender nature. I wondered if using a similar approach in my play might allow me to establish my central character as a three dimensional character before revealing him as a wheelchair user. In other words, to hide his disability in his introductory scene.
23 The acclaimed English theatre director Hugh Wooldridge was in Sydney in January 2009 and I invited him to attended a reading of the first draft of the play. His thoughts were:
By saving the wheelchair til later you will give the audience the chance to focus on the character’s personality and the relationship tensions, rather than the wheelchair. This will also add to the drama. (Malone, 2009a)
But how best to do this? From my medical experience, I was aware that it is often difficult to tell if someone is a wheelchair user or not when meeting them for the first time when they are lying in bed, particularly if there is a sheet covering their legs. It can be similarly difficult to discern if one meets a wheelchair user for the first time when they are seated at a table. Both of these options appealed to me as interesting ways to introduce the character, and my journal records my reflections (Malone, 2009a). I noted an additional stage direction if the play opens with the character seated behind a table.
Consider long table cloth over table if underside of table and therefore wheelchair seen by front few rows (Malone, 2009a).
Introducing the Wheelchair
I thought that once the wheelchair was revealed, pacing would be important. Some people find wheelchairs confronting and it was my feeling that some sections of the audience might benefit from extra time to adjust to the revelation that the character they had come to know in the previous scenes was also a wheelchair user. In my journal at the time I recorded:
24 Maybe another character is also unaware of the wheelchair, and the reveal to the audience and this character could occur simultaneously. This way the audience’s reaction could be reflected in that of the other character. (Malone, 2009a)
I was curious about the potential audience reaction. I have often watched ill-informed strangers greet wheelchair users with a range of emotion from empathy to sadness, which some members of the wheelchair community find reprehensible. Wheelchair user and public speaker Dale Elliot commented:
When people treat you with a sad expression it’s such a downer. I try to make a joke straight up to keep the mood light. I’m fine with it! (Elliot, 2009, Appendix C)
I wondered if the use of humour at the point of character introduction could act to deflect attention away from the wheelchair. Perhaps this could focus the attention of the audience on the character’s personality rather than any perceived potential vulnerability. I noted in my journal a couple of lines of dialogue I thought might work:
Character could say: I’m getting a bit over the shock/sympathy rollercoaster. Yes I had an accident. Yes, I now use a wheelchair. Would you like a tissue? (Malone, 2009b)
Two other important issues to be considered concerned intellect and sexuality. I have occasionally been present when people have made similarly ill-informed generalisations about the intelligence of wheelchair users. I was interested in creating a character with an active intelligence to dispel some of these misunderstandings and to help make the play interesting and entertaining for the audience. Foremost in the minds of those with newly acquired
25 paraplegia quite often will be the issue of employment, with accessibility of the workplace a key consideration. My journal recorded:
Maybe the character is an academic or aspiring academic: Universities are known for their accessibility. (Malone 2009a)
I was similarly interested in dispelling myths about sexuality. Many wheelchair users lead full and active sex lives. I was keen to emphasise this and noted in my journal that a natural way to do this might be by way of making the character a ‘guest speaker at an information session about paraplegia’ (Malone,
2009a). I have attended many of these information days as part of my medical work and the issue of sexuality is often addressed candidly and with humour.
As such, I incorporated some dialogue from my journal, which I thought might offer the character a combination of humour and exposition, ‘Does it still work,
Does it still work? Yes, it still works’ (Malone, 2009b).
Creating a Second Draft
In the past, I have found workshopping new scripts with actors an essential part of the creative process, and I was keen to replicate that approach with this play. As it was my goal to cast an actor who was also a wheelchair user in the central role, I contacted the major theatrical agents in Sydney to see if they represented any actors who were also wheelchair users. None of them did (Malone, 2009b).
Peter Turnbull, the actor and wheelchair user who had been cast in the
Ensemble Studios production of David Williamson’s Emerald City (1987) was
26 in his fifties, and did not meet the age description of twenty-five to thirty-five as required by my script.
A play featuring characters with disability was presented as part of
Queensland’s Emerge Project for New Writers in 2007. Peter Smith’s play
Tripping (2006) is a comedy drama about what happens when four people with disability go on a road trip (Smith, 2009, Appendix C). One of the characters was a wheelchair user. The director Errol Bray, told me in a personal discussion, that he went to considerable effort to get in touch with disability groups and advertised on actors’ websites for an actor who was also a wheelchair user, but was unable to find anyone (Malone, 2009b). I wondered if
I might be faced with similar disappointment. I commenced a similar search throughout NSW, and placed small advertisements on Acting, Casting and
Disability websites:
A male actor between the ages of 25 and 35 who is also a wheelchair user is wanted for the role of Simon, the romantic lead in a new Australian one act play. ‘Cohabitation’ is a romantic comedy being produced as a ‘co-op’. Beginners to professional actors welcome to apply. (Malone, 2009b)
Unfortunately, no-one came forward. I then tried to find an actor through my medical networks. My journal notes a telephone call to Dr James
Middleton, the director of the Spinal Injuries unit at Royal Ryde Rehabilitation
Hospital. He was unaware of anyone who would be interested (Malone, 2009b).
I forwarded the advertisement to a variety of NSW Health and Sporting Groups including ParaQuad, Wheelchair Sports and Spinal Injuries NSW. They all posted the advertisement on their websites, and a week later, I received a phone
27 call from a social worker who thought the opportunity might suit one of her clients (Malone, 2009b).
The client was twenty-seven year old Anthony Masterson who had completed acting courses at The Actors’ Centre in Surry Hills twelve months prior to the accident which left him needing to use a wheelchair. Masterson read the draft script and expressed an interest in becoming involved. From the first meeting, he seemed to me to be a natural comic who would be ideal to play the lead role of Simon in the play. Not only was I struck by his natural charisma, but also at the time of our meeting, he was approaching the twelve month anniversary of his accident, just like the character in my play.
Script Consultation
Masterson and I met on a number of occasions and he was able to offer numerous insights and ideas which helped me to further develop the character of Simon. We discussed how best to introduce the character so as to keep the wheelchair a surprise. Masterson thought a scene with the character in bed with a sheet over his legs might result in the audience viewing him as a sexual being, and thus assist my goal of creating a three dimensional character (Malone,
2009b).
I was aware from my clinical work that one of the greatest moments following the onset of paraplegia is a person’s return to driving. I had created a dramatic moment around this point in the first draft of the play. Further discussion with Masterson however increased my understanding of the extent of the potential excitement, with Masterson describing his feelings on passing
28 his own test as: ‘… like.. Wohoo.. I’m free’ (Malone, 2009b). His insight inspired me to heighten the emotion at this point in the play, which I hoped would make Simon’s journey, and thus the play, more absorbing.
Masterson was also able to offer a detailed critique of the scene in which the character of Simon talks about sex. He agreed with the tone of the draft scene and the humour of the exposition, but thought perhaps the line, ‘Does it still work, does it still work. Yes, it still works’ might be more accurately expressed ‘Can he still do it, can he still do it? Yes, I can still do it’ (Masterson,
2009, Appendix C). I felt this small change represented a more accurate description of a male wheelchair user’s attitude to sex (Malone, 2009b).
Stage and Set Design
It is arguable how many stage directions about the stage and set playwrights should include in their plays. From my medical work, I was aware of certain facts pertaining to space that are important to wheelchair users and I noted in my journal that I thought these should be included in the script, with the goal of fast tracking the production pathway for the potential set designer
(Malone, 2009b).
Obviously, for an actor to use a wheelchair on stage, the stage needs to be level, and the entry and exits have no stairs. Masterson related that it would also be important that clutter be kept to a minimum (Malone, 2009b). Stray rugs, clothing and paper mess can easily get caught in wheelchair spokes, and pose a falls risk to the occupant of the wheelchair.
29 In terms of the set, I noted in my journal that any furniture would need to be specifically spaced to allow for the three-hundred and sixty degree turning circle of the wheelchair. Not only would this add to manoeuvrability and speed, it would simultaneously reduce the chance of the wheelchair user getting stuck between set items. Ever helpful, Masterson was able to offer specific advice about the description of the bed for the stage directions in the bedroom scene:
Bed heights greater than seventy centimetres high make it difficult for wheelchair users to transfer from their chairs as you’re transferring uphill, rather than on an equal plane. We all have low beds (Malone, 2009b).
As anticipated, the creative process pertaining to the writing of the play involved detailed practical considerations. The assistance of an actor who was also a wheelchair user was invaluable.
30 CHAPTER FIVE
Reflective Analysis of My Writing Process
Neil Simon in his biography Rewrites, A Memoir (1996, p 4) states:
‘Characters don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re the product of their environment.’
As I was developing the character of Simon, I was concurrently turning my attention to the development of the other elements of the play that could be called his environment.
Plot
Foremost in my mind was a desire for Simon to be seen as a romantic hero. I thought an initial plot structure within which I could work was that of the Hollywood romantic comedy. I inherently felt I would need to build a rich back-story, and this structure seemed as good a place as any to start (Malone,
2009b). The classic romantic comedy structure is ‘boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl, the end’ (Malone, 2006). I had observed that it was not an infrequent occurrence for a man to want to leave a seemingly solid heterosexual relationship after an injury resulting in paraplegia, even if his partner has been nothing less than supportive during his recovery period. This seemed like fertile ground on which to build the rom-com idea.
It is difficult to know from where stories come. Film director Peter Weir has been quoted as saying ‘most of the work is done in the unconscious’ (in
Fishman, 2000), a reflection which certainly resonates with me. Indeed I am one of those writers for whom more breakthroughs come whilst walking or
31 cooking than ever do sitting at my desk. I have been writing for ten years and if
I have learnt anything in that time it is that the best thing to do with first drafts is not to think about the story at all, but go straight through from beginning to end as quickly as possible. Writer Ray Bradbury says, ‘In quickness is truth.
The more you blurt, the more swiftly you write, the more honest you are’ (in
Fishman, 2000). I turned off the phone and internet and wrote the first draft in a week (Malone, 2009a).
As mentioned earlier, I invited director Hugh Wooldridge to attend a reading of the first draft in January 2009. This was not without some trepidation. The play was only a first draft and I feared the jokes were terrible and I had not had time to arrange suitable casting. But Wooldridge was only in
Sydney for a week, and having such an acclaimed director present for the first read was too good an opportunity to forgo. Conventional wisdom is not to show your work too early. I am of the opposite mindset. The earlier you show it and hear it, the earlier you will realise what is not working.
The play reading was a disaster. It only went for an hour, but it felt like three. The characters all sounded the same, and what I thought were dramatic moments of relationship turmoil, were actually melodrama devoid of suspense
(Malone, 2009a). Wooldridge commented:
You have to ask yourself why someone would pay fifty dollars to see this play, rather than put that money towards a trip to Fiji (Malone, 2009a)
Hearing the script aloud for the first time, I certainly would have chosen Fiji.
At this stage, I noted there seemed to be two problems with the plot
(Malone, 2009a). The first was the central romantic relationship, that between
32 Simon and Kate, lacked sufficient tension. I had thought perhaps making these two share a flat would add to their relationship tensions, but although there were a few fights, I came away from the reading feeling like there needed to be more at stake:
Need to raise the stakes. What keeps them together? What forces them apart? What does each want for themselves and for and from the other? (Malone, 2009a)
My later discussion with Masterson about the impact of attaining a driver’s licence gave me the idea that perhaps there could be some arrangement between Simon and Kate that he would move out when he got his licence
(Malone, 2009b). I resolved to workshop a few scenes around this development.
The other main problem seemed to be the structure of the plot itself.
Nothing much seemed to be happening. Having Simon and Kate’s relationship as the spine of the play felt inadequate and I wondered if I should try using another plot structure. I considered the classic ‘Hero Journey’. Well known to students of writing, this classic structure is described by mythologist Joseph
Campbell in his book The Hero With A Thousand Faces (2008):
A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man (2008, p 12)
I wondered if a deeper exploration of Simon’s personal journey on the one year anniversary of his accident would make him a more interesting and active protagonist. I noted this might simultaneously make him a stronger
33 romantic hero and thus improve the romantic spine of the story as well.
(Malone, 2009a)
A hero must overcome obstacles, and it was to these obstacles that I now turned my attention. Writing consultant Linda Cogwill in her book The Art of Plotting (2008) defines obstacles as ‘anything preventing the hero from reaching his goal’ (2008, p 62). I reflected on my choice of Simon’s engagement in the world of academia, and challenged myself to creating an antagonist who would provide obstacles to his goal.
Neil Simon has particular advice in regards to antagonists: ‘Always make your protagonist and antagonist equal adversaries so that the audience is always in doubt as to who is right and who is wrong’ (1996, p 240). I had written a character called Fred in the first draft of the play. He was, however, a fairly insipid neuroscientist and spent much of his stage time using brain imagery to describe his fear (see Appendix D). I realised I would have to make him a much stronger and more interesting character to be a worthy opponent for the increasingly three dimensional Simon.
First, I needed to think about the intellectual climax. In my capacity as a
Rehabilitation Physician, I had spent some time studying recent breakthroughs in neuroscience and epigenetics. These exciting and controversial fields have implications for the scientific understanding of the human mind and evolutionary theory (Cloud, Time Magazine, 2010), (Brooks, The New York
Times, 2008). Many people I know with a new diagnosis of paraplegia develop a sudden interest in emerging science, especially stem cell research, and I
34 wondered if somehow I could create a circumstance that would encapsulate the current scientific tensions into Simon’s quest (Malone, 2009a)
Interested in exploring this plotline, I set about writing a second draft. I made Simon an evolutionary biologist whose quest it was to do a second PhD in neuroscience. As a potential PhD candidate, he would need to convince someone to be his supervisor, and this was to be Fred. It would be his acceptance into the PhD program and an associated scholarship program that would give him the financial and practical independence to take his leave from co-habiting with Kate.
Linda Seger writes ‘contrasting your characters will give you the strongest strokes’ (2008, p 128). If Fred were to become the gatekeeper to
Simon’s happiness via self determination and independence, I would need stronger strokes. I made notes in my diary as to how I could most contrast the personalities of Simon and Fred.
Fred- FEAR- controlling, cynical, intellectually smug. Simon-LOVE-creative, optimistic, intellectually curious (Malone, 2009a )
As I made the list of contrasting personality traits, I reflected that if
Fred’s core personality characteristic was to be represented by fear then
Simon’s would be most represented by love which was exactly what he was trying to avoid (Malone, 2009a). I anticipated this would lead to a more engaging drama.
Character
35 Now that I felt I knew what the thrust of Simon’s hero journey was to be, I could more definitely turn my mind to creating the characters that further aid and hinder his journey.
In the first draft Kate was a waitress who spent much of her spare time doing knit graffiti, and I had a vision of her knitting increasing over the course of the play so it eventually covered some furniture items (Malone, 2009a).
Following my discussions with Masterson about occupational health and safety in regards to wheelchairs and clutter, I realised this would no longer be practical. The potential for loose wool ends could prove too much of a staging hazard.
I felt instinctively Kate should be an artistic character, to contrast the scientific Simon, and add an element of quirkiness to what was looking potentially at this stage like a fairly dry play. I wondered about the possibility of Kate being a singer.
Kate as ‘Missy Higgins meets Flight of the Conchords’ Ideas for potential songs: My Venn Diagram of You, Falling in Love in Your Tummy, Knitting Rap (Malone, 2009a).
This also led me to the idea of Kate having previously worked as a music therapist and I wondered if I could build this into a back-story of how Simon and Kate met.
The other advantage of making Kate a quirky character was that it would be a greater contrast to the other emerging female character, Gina. I was playing with Gina being a doctor. Doctors are characters with whom I am familiar, and I had watched with interest the many reports in the media about
36 depression and suicide in doctors over the previous twelve months (Malone,
2009a). I was keen for Gina to have an element of the femme fatale about her to inject more tension into the relationship between Simon and Kate. In the first draft of the play Gina was a relatively nice and well rested intern. I wondered if a cynical sleep deprived resident might be a more interesting choice, and wrote a few practice scenes as a character development exercise (Appendix E).
The final character I wanted to write was a comic character, to be called
Matt. I enjoy the work of Oscar Wilde, and felt an audience might like seeing a contemporary upper class character satirised. I also felt there was more than enough potential for drama and the character of Matt could be used as a comic device. Henceforth he became a barrister.
I planned another reading of the script in June 2009. I took much more time casting appropriate actors for this reading. Actors bring so much to the script and I was keen during this reading for the voice of the actor and character to be aligned.
The reading went smoothly and I felt happy with the play’s progress
(Malone, 2009b). The voices of the characters were now much more distinct, and some of the dialogue was already working as comedy. However, the key arguments between Fred and Simon were wrong. Simon didn’t sound like an evolutionary biologist. And Fred didn’t sound like a neuroscientist. This caused me some anxiety as this was a key plot element of the play (Malone, 2009b).
Subplots
37 I turned my attention to the subplots because I hoped within their detail
I might find an answer to the main structure. I wrote a list of the characters, their jobs, homes and back stories, and looked for potential overlaps. I then saw not only could there be romantic tension between Simon and Gina, but between
Gina and Matt. I also wondered about an unrequited affection for Kate from
Fred. Matt emerged as an ‘I support the arts’ type (Malone, 2009b) and I wondered if his philanthropy could pose an opportunity for Kate’s music. But the list of subplots still felt incomplete. ‘Story needs subplot/super-subplot climax that will bring them all together at end act 3’ (Malone, 2009b).
As I felt stuck, I decided to try a different approach. I had recently learnt about a creativity tool called mind maps (Malone, 2009b) and thought a mind map might help me with my subplot issue. I wrote the names of the characters in circles on a piece of paper and drew lines between them. I then transcribed the list of potential character interactions from my diary. By persisting with the mind map exercise (Malone 2009b) I arrived at the solution that a new offstage character might work. This character became Kate’s great aunt.
Structure
I turned my attention to the structure of the love story between Simon and Kate. The relationship had taken some people by surprise at the June reading, and I had noted at the time that I needed to foreshadow more about the back-story in the first half. The re-writing of these scenes took some time but I
38 was grateful for the opportunity as it was in the re-writing that I eventually stumbled across the solution to the main plot.
Much of the neuroscience research I was interested in for the play was based on the research of so called Neural Buddhists (Brooks, The New York
Times 2008). If Simon was ‘love’ it was suddenly obvious that he was the person who should be the neuroscientist. As soon as I realised this it was also obvious that Fred was much more suited to being an evolutionary biologist. I scanned the scenes to gauge the implications of swapping their professions around and found there were not too many, although an idea for Fred’s
Facebook page had to be deleted (Appendix F).
Dialogue
Satisfied the plot was on its way to working, and with the subplots developing, I organised for another reading of the script in July 2009. It was time to turn my focus to the individual voices of the characters. The first reading had been haunting me, and I had spent some time jotting down any pieces of dialogue that came into my head while I had been working on the subplots (Malone, 2009b). I felt there’d been some improvement, but it is one thing to read dialogue on a page, another to hear it aloud.
At this reading the voices of Kate and Gina seemed to contrast nicely.
Where Kate was quirky, Gina was grounded and cynical. Simon and Fred’s voices also seemed much more authentic with the change of profession. But I was not happy with Matt’s voice and neither was the actor who read his role.
He emailed me the day after the reading saying not only was he not interested
39 in continuing with the project but he thought I should cut the character of Matt altogether, arguing the play would be better as a four hander (Malone, 2009b).
My own opinion was that the character needed more work. He was something of a cartoon and I needed to find a way of giving him a life offstage.
I had often seen athletic guys help wheelchair users with their weights in gyms, and decided this could be a way of showing another side to Matt:
Perhaps Matt spotted Simon in gym in the weeks and months following his recovery. He might have been key to Simon’s persistence and independence (Malone, 2009b)
Editing
The play reading in July went for three hours, which in my opinion, is too long for a play. My ideal night at the theatre is two and a half hours, including a fifteen minute interval. I recalled advice given to me by a playwright when I was editing the scenes in my first play. ‘Get in late, get out early’ (Malone, 2006). By this he meant, start the scene as late as you can, and get out of the scene as early as you can. My scenes were taking too long to start and too long to finish. I was particularly struck by how long it had taken me to get into the real purpose of one scene in the first act and I was able to cut a whole page (Appendix G). I went through all my scenes and cut whatever was not essential to the story.
But the play was still too long and I took a red pen to any joke or passage that was not directly adding to story. The scene which had received the most laughs at the July reading had to be deleted (Appendix H) as did the full version of Kate’s signature tune, ‘My Venn Diagram of You’ (Appendix I).
40 CHAPTER SIX
The Sydney Production
With a rehearsal draft running at just under one hundred and forty minutes, I felt ready to approach some of the small theatres in Sydney with the goal of mounting a fringe production. Plays are written to be performed and I felt seeing the play in front of an audience would help me to ascertain the extent to which I’d been able to achieve my goal of creating a three dimensional character who is also a wheelchair user and develop a character outside the medical and social models of disability.
Apart from a level stage, I was aware that a fully accessible venue would also need wide doors and an accessible toilet. Acoustics would also be an important consideration. Many wheelchair users have a reduced lung capacity and therefore the theatre would need to be small and the auditorium properly raked to allow for physiologically diminished voice projection.
My journal notes my visits to popular fringe theatres in Sydney - The
Old Fitzroy Hotel, The Darlinghurst Theatre and The New Theatre - and notes that all of them have stairs (Malone, 2009b). I was aware that the theatre inside the Bondi Pavilion had just undergone renovation and wondered if it might now be fully accessible. I contacted the curator of the theatre, Joanna Dinning. She stated indeed it was fully accessible, although she added ‘we have not had a wheelchair actor on stage before’ (Malone, 2009b).
I also discussed with Dinning my intention to direct and co-produce the production. I felt that it was particularly important in this case. I had already
41 established a good working relationship with Masterson about his portrayal of the character, and ongoing attention to dialogue delivery and character intent would be key to delivering a three dimensional character. As co-producer, I was keen to continue to nurture the relationships I’d established with stakeholders in the disability community so that I might be able to address any last minute changes to the script they felt necessary. I was also keen to facilitate the attendance of as many stakeholders within the disability community as possible, as I was especially interested in their opinions.
The Bondi Pavilion was booked for a three week production of
‘Cohabitation’ in October 2009, five shows per week and a rehearsal space booked at Accessible Arts NSW for five weeks commencing late August 2009.
The rehearsal period went smoothly. As expected, there were some technical difficulties with the voice projection of Masterson, but the retention of a voice coach in the second week improved Masterson’s volume and voice control enormously (Malone, 2009b). The production team worked within the specified guidelines to create an accessible and clutter free set and a bed with height of seventy centimetres was purchased, which facilitated a fast and easy transfer for Masterson from his chair to the mattress (Malone, 2009b).
The play opened on the 7th of October 2009 to an audience of eighty people. For the most part, the affective response from the audience was what I hoped for: they laughed during the parts I hoped would be funny, and seemed touched during the parts I hoped would be sad. Masterson did a wonderful job playing the role of Simon and it was interesting to me how much he seemed to relish the lines of dialogue which he had been directly involved in creating. He
42 particularly seemed to enjoy the line ‘Can he still do it, can he still do it? Yes, I can still do it.’ It received a great laugh on opening night, and at subsequent performances (Malone, 2009c).
Thanks to work of the co-producers Steph Hughes, Jules Kong and
Naomi Malone we had increasing audience numbers over a three week period
(Malone, 2009c). I was in attendance every night so that I might discern the reaction of the audience, and get some feeling as to the extent to which I had achieved my goals. I spoke to many patrons after the production and recorded their reactions in my journal. I noted feeling particularly encouraged by feedback from Katrina Strickland, the Arts Editor of the Australian Financial
Review:
I loved that the character in the wheelchair was so well developed. His disability was not the main issue he was dealing with, and I liked that the girl had a crush on him rather than the other way around. There was no perception that he was a victim. It wasn't "about" disability, it just had a disabled character in it like it might have a South African character or a red headed woman or a jock (Malone, 2009c).
Stakeholders within the disability community were also happy with the authenticity of the character, sharing feedback such as ‘Simon was very real’ and ‘I could relate’ (Malone, 2009c). I felt particularly happy about the subsequent advertising of the production on the home page of the Spinal Cord
Injuries NSW website (Malone, 2009c). John Maclean, a wheelchair user and paralympian was particularly complimentary about the emphasis on ability rather than disability (Malone, 2009c). Perhaps the most gratifying comment about the character came from an audience member with whom I spoke at the
43 end of the second week, ‘You know, by the end of the play, I’d forgotten he was in a wheelchair’ (Malone, 2009c).
The feedback was not all positive however with one member of the audience saying she thought one line of dialogue in the script might have taken the ‘victimless’ nature of the character too far. The line occurred during one of the scenes near the climax of the play. In the scene, Simon tells Kate he is having second thoughts about their relationship, to which Kate angrily retorts
‘So you’re going to walk away?’ (Malone, 2009c).
I had not intended there to be any double entendre in the line, and indeed, despite intense workshopping of the scene, Masterson and I hadn’t recognised there could be. The line is a figure of speech. However, this particular audience member thought the line could be judged as being unnecessarily harsh. To avoid this risk, I discussed with my co-producers changing the line for the rest of the production to ‘So you’re just going to leave?’ (Malone, 2009c).
It was particularly gratifying to me that we were able to use an actor who was a wheelchair user in the part. Masterson’s insight and ideas had helped shaped the character and I felt the production so much richer for his authentic portrayal (Malone, 2009c). As a doctor, I was encouraged by the comments of a physician attending one night with a group of her patients who had recently incurred spinal cord injuries:
It was great for them to see another wheelchair user acting the part. It just helps to see that life doesn’t end with a spinal cord injury. (Malone, 2009c)
44 CHAPTER SEVEN
The New York Reading
Encouraged by the feedback from the Sydney production, I sent the completed play to Christine Bruno of Disability and Arts Alliance in New
York. We had kept in contact following our meeting at Accessible Arts NSW in
April 2009 and she had given me encouragement and advice over the months in the lead up to the Sydney production.
Bruno said she loved the play right up until the character of Simon expressed a desire to walk again.
Within the disability movement there is great antagonism toward the medical model of people trying to find a cure for the disability. It leads to the belief that somehow the person with the disability is not good enough as they are. (Malone, 2009c)
I was aware of this antagonism. Through my work as a rehabilitation doctor and my friendships with persons who are wheelchair users, it was my observation that at the twelve month anniversary of injury, many people are still focused on walking again. And some may do so. In addition, the sentiment actually came from a meeting I had with Masterson (Malone, 2009b). I relayed my reasons for writing the scene in this way to Bruno.
Bruno sent the play to American wheelchair actor, Mitch Longley, who
I had read about as the wheelchair actor who had appeared in the television shows Judging Amy and Desperate Housewives. He communicated his interest in the play and his availability for a rehearsed reading in New York in January
2010 (Malone, 2009c).
45 A rehearsal and production date were booked at the Alliance of Resident
Theatres on Eighth Avenue. The other roles were to be played by American
Off-Broadway actors I had met through Australian theatre contacts, and I felt
fortunate that the Alliance encouraged me also to direct.
The rehearsal was held on the 6th of January 2010 and went very
smoothly. Longley was particularly encouraging about the part of Simon,
commenting it was ‘rare to have a character who was a wheelchair user in a
play that didn’t actually focus on the wheelchair’ (Malone, 2010).
Approximately thirty people, mostly industry, attended the rehearsed reading on the 8th of January 2010. I sat up the front of the theatre so I could convey the stage directions, which also gave me the opportunity to observe the reactions of the audience. It was very encouraging to hear appropriate laughter and to see some spontaneous hand holding during lines I considered emotionally touching (Malone, 2010).
I interviewed members of the audience afterwards and the play seemed to be enthusiastically received. One audience member liked in particular the reaction of the characters when they discerned Simon was a wheelchair user, saying ‘I was as surprised as they were’ (Malone, 2010). Another thought the treatment of the issue of sexuality ‘subtle but fun’ (Malone, 2010) and enjoyed the exposition of the academic aspirations of the character.
There was a critical comment in relation to a scene in which Simon and
Kate are verbally sparring. Simon is disparaging about the appearance of Kate, and Kate retorts with a barb which casts doubt on the attractiveness of Simon to other women, saying ‘women are very visual’ (Malone, 2010). This particular
46 audience member found the line ‘unnecessarily mean’ (Malone, 2010). It was surprising to me that the audience member thought this line was, in fact, a reference to the wheelchair. I had not written it as such, and neither Longley nor
Masterson had thought that it was in relation to the wheelchair, rather a normal part of the verbal sparring that occurs between couples (Malone, 2010).
Mostly though, the feedback was very encouraging. I felt particularly gratified by the words from Joel Bernstein, an American television producer with Sixty Minutes NBC. He did not think the wheelchair a significant aspect of either the character or the play and enjoyed the story for its exploration of relationships and science (Malone, 2010). He commented:
Very funny and clever and totally engaging. I overheard one New York theatregoer in the audience whisper to another, ‘I wonder what other gems they’ve got Down Under.’ My sentiments exactly (Malone, 2010).
47 CHAPTER EIGHT
THE PLAY SCRIPT
Cohabitation By Jane Malone
Copyright Jane Malone 2011. All rights reserved.
48 Synopsis
Fred and Gina are flatmates looking for love.
Kate and Simon have found love, but are flatmates.
Matt’s greatest love is himself.
Set in Bondi Australia, as one lease begins and another comes to an end,
‘Cohabitation’ is the intimate tale of five vulnerable hearts, two very different households and one overcrowded café.
Inspired by climate change, Charles Darwin and the Flight of the Conchords, it’s a back from the beachfront look at survival of the fittest, the power of music and falling in love.
49 Setting
Bondi, one of Australia’s most famous beaches. Home to the rich and famous, aspiring artists and middle class mortgagees.
Time
Last Thursday night to Sunday lunch.
Stage
Stage left: Kate’s Flat.
Small table with tablecloth, two stools on wheels, plants. Knitting, lyrics sheets, guitar, laptop, books, a low bed *
Bright, colourful, spacious and tidy.
Stage right: Fred’s Flat.
Two armchairs, remote control, newspaper stand with copies of Time and The
New Yorker. Structured, minimalist.
Centre stage: Pub, Hospital, Kate’s café, Outside by beach, Outside in park,
Outside street, Bar near hospital, Outside court, Matt’s apartment, Cliff.
*Ideal bed height is seventy centimetres.
50 Characters
(All early thirties)
KATE: Pixy, warm, wears vintage clothing.
SIMON: Gregarious, open, funny, passionate.
FRED: Short, intellectual, watchful, dark rimmed glasses.
GINA: Femme fatale.
MATT: Tall, well-built, pretentious.
Note
Scene transitions are very quick. Costume changes have been taken into account.
Songs
Music and lyrics for Kate’s songs written by, and can be obtained from, the author.
Running Time
Pre interval: Seventy minutes.
Post interval: Seventy minutes.
51 1.1
KATE’S FLAT
SIMON is reading a street directory behind the table. His legs are concealed.
KATE enters.
SIMON hides the directory.
KATE: Guess how many cappuccinos I made today?
SIMON: Umm… sixteen?
KATE: I’ve been working all day.
SIMON: Sixty-three.
KATE: Twenty-eight.
SIMON: Wow.
KATE: You have no idea if that figure’s high or low do you?
SIMON: No.
KATE: It’s low. Limbo low.
SIMON: GFC?
KATE: Either that or my foam.
SIMON: Your foam’s the best in Bondi.
KATE: I know. And the reason I know is because my boss makes me
write it every day on the café blackboard. ‘Best Foam in Bondi’.
SIMON: Blame the GFC. We’re not out of the woods yet.
KATE: Maybe I should be using more hyperbole. Best foam in the
world or something. ‘Bondi’s Famous Foam’.
52 SIMON: Not sure, sounds less like milk and more like an ad for ‘Bondi
Rescue’
KATE: Have you been working??
SIMON: I wrote the opening for the oral for my application to the
university.
KATE: I don’t believe you.
SIMON opens his laptop.
SIMON: We want to acknowledge the traditional owners, the Gadigal
people of the Eora nations on whose land we meet, and pay our
respects to the Elders past and present.
KATE: And?
SIMON: That’s as far as I got.
He closes the laptop.
KATE: Would you call that a start?
SIMON: It’s half a page.
KATE: Of what size font?
SIMON: I got wikied.
KATE: Wikied?
SIMON: I googled Eora nation and ended up on the Wikipedia page for
Aborigine and then clicked on Wikipedia page for Michael
O’Loghlin, and then on Wikipedia entry for the Swans and
before I knew it I was transferring all the dates for next years
games to my i calendar. Wikied.
She notices the apartment.
53 KATE: What’s happened in here?
SIMON: If you’re referring to the absence of knitting on the floor and
song lyrics cascading off the couch, you’re looking at what’s
commonly known as a clean up.
KATE mock amazement.
SIMON: Clean up: meaning to make tidy, or presentable, free from dust
and dirt.
KATE: Wow!
SIMON: Who’d have thought? Floorboards. For months I’ve thought we
had shag pile.
KATE: Is that dinner on the stove as well?
SIMON: Affirmative.
KATE: You’ve started your application, you’ve cleaned the flat, you’ve
made dinner…
SIMON shrugs.
SIMON: I’m going for flatmate of the month.
KATE: Well, seeing as you’re my only flatmate, consider yourself
awarded. What are we having?
SIMON: A Stir fry try. Carrots, broch, few mushies, coriander and peanut
garnish, and a side of roasted eggplant.
KATE: Sounds very Masterchef.
SIMON: I hope so. The guy at the ‘Fruitologist’ shop told me what to do
with the eggplant.
KATE: He should know. He’s an ologist.
54 SIMON: Ready when you are.
KATE: I’ll just slip into something more comfortable.
SIMON: I love it when you do that.
1.2
FRED’S FLAT.
GINA and FRED enter, GINA carrying two bowls and forks.
Without noticing, GINA sits where FRED was going to sit.
GINA: Dinner is served.
FRED: MMmm..
GINA: Eggplant lasagne .
FRED: Looks great.
GINA: The eggplant was on special at the Fruitologist. Three for three
dollars. Used by today. (She looks at her watch) Made it by four
hours.
FRED: (indicating TV) What’s this?
GINA: ‘What Not To Wear’
FRED: Is it an English show?
GINA: Uh huh.
FRED: About what not to wear.
GINA: Yeah.
FRED: In England.
GINA: Not necessarily. It’s internationally syndicated.
55 FRED: So ‘What Not to Wear Everywhere?’
GINA nods.
FRED: So the same fashion rules apply in the Cotswold’s as they do on
the Pacific Rim?
GINA: You’re obviously not going to need an ankle length coat and ear
muffs in the Cook Islands, but don’t wear pencil skirts if you
have a big bum, wear a belt if you have a waist and don’t save
Spanx for special occasions are pretty much transcontinental.
FRED: Spanx?
GINA: You don’t want to know.
FRED tastes the food.
GINA: Did you want to watch something else?
FRED: No that’s ok.
FRED reluctantly swallows the food.
GINA: Sure? I’ve seen this one before anyway.
FRED: So this was what not to wear everywhere last year?
GINA: The DVD box set’s compulsory viewing for Retro parties.
FRED changes the station.
GINA: I’ve been wondering what sort of sport you’re into. Soccer eh?
FRED: Football yes.
GINA: Who’s playing?
FRED: Liverpool and Man U. The English Premier League. About
football, in England. It’s internationally syndicated.
GINA: I like what they’re wearing.
56 FRED looks at his watch.
FRED: Right.
FRED stands.
GINA: Didn’t you like it?
FRED: I thought I’d save the rest for lunch tomorrow.
GINA: Do you want dessert?
FRED: I’m catching up with an old mate at the bar at Icebergs.
GINA: Oh. Is he single?
FRED: Ah. I think he is actually.
GINA: I’m joking. It’s just my default expression these days. Male.
Eighteen to eighty. Pulse. Single? Must be gay, is he?
FRED: No. Just .. He only goes for supermodels. Well at least he used
to.
GINA: I’ve been working so much I haven’t had a chance to sample
Thursday night in Bondi yet. But then what sort of a flatmate
would I be if I started going out with one of your friends? Fast
track to eviction.
FRED: Did you want to come?
GINA: I’ve got a big day tomorrow, I should probably do some
washing.
1.3
KATE’S FLAT
57 SIMON is reading the street directory in bed. His shirt is off, a sheet covers his lower body.
KATE enters wearing pyjamas.
SIMON: Do you knock?
KATE: I’ve seen it before. Thanks for dinner.
SIMON: Thanks for slipping into something more comfortable.
She curtsies.
KATE: Seriously, the eggplant was delicious. You’d never have known
it was almost off. I thought you were going out.
SIMON: Just needed a little siesta.
She sits on the bed.
SIMON: You right?
KATE: Just getting comfortable.
SIMON: I thought you already were.
KATE: You can always be more. I hope I’m an ologist in something
other than foam one day.
SIMON: What would you be an ologist in?
KATE: Love stories.
SIMON: A Love Story-ologist?
KATE: I guess, or a Stories of Love-ologist. I had a couple come in
today who’d been married for sixty years. They met at Uni. She
said she knew he was the one the first time she saw him.
SIMON: How did she know?
58 KATE: She just did
SIMON: Right.
He’s about to pull back the sheet.
KATE: (suggestively) Right…
SIMON: Out. I want to be on time. I’m meeting the guy whose help I
need for the remaining ninety nine and a half pages of my
application.
She notices the book.
KATE: Why are you reading the street directory?
SIMON: It’s a real page turner. You’re on 7 B6 and before you know it
you’re on 9 D4.
She laughs.
SIMON: I had my last driving session today. Tomorrow I’m going for my
licence.
KATE: Oh.
1.4
PUB
FRED enters.
FRED: There’re some chairs over here.
GINA enters, fixing her hair.
59 GINA: And it’s close to the door in case you feel like issuing an
eviction. I won’t hang around if, well, you know… I’ll just say
I’m here to borrow your keys.
FRED: What?
GINA: I locked myself out and I’m borrowing your keys. You’ve been
single for a while haven’t you? You’re going to learn a lot from
me.
FRED: You think?
GINA: Lost keys is pretty standard. Who do you usually hang out with?
FRED: Kismo.
GINA: Kismo?
FRED: My imaginary friend. We met in primary school. Lost touch for
a while, but then he found me again on Facebook.
GINA: Look at all these people! Doesn’t anyone else have to work
tomorrow?
FRED: Out of work actors, writers or singers currently working in call
centres, waiting tables or retraining as yoga instructors, none of
which means they have to be out of bed before ten.
GINA: I can’t tell you how good it is to finally be in Bondi. Oh! Look at
him! Such a Brad. Oh. That can’t be his girlfriend. So not
Angelina. So tell me about your friend…
FRED: What do you want to know?
GINA: Height, income and sperm count. I’m joking. As I said, eighteen
to eighty, with a pulse.
60 SIMON enters. He’s a wheelchair user.
SIMON: Sorry I’m late. The Masters Games are about to start and every
lawn bowler with a Zimmer frame wants an accessible taxi.
FRED and GINA are shocked.
SIMON holds out his hand.
SIMON: Didn’t think you’d heard.
FRED stands and shakes his hand.
FRED: No…
SIMON: Hi I’m Simon.
GINA: Gina.
SIMON: I was in an accident …. Left me needing this to get around.
FRED: Shit mate… What happened?
SIMON: Long story. Good to see you! It’s a bit of a shock I know. Been
hard to work out how to tell people who didn’t already know. Do
you send a group text, update your Facebook status? I’m fine,
really. Can I get you a beer?
FRED: I’ll go. (to GINA) Beer?
GINA: Actually I’ve just dropped in to borrow Fred’s keys.
FRED: Yeah. But you can stay for one beer. Might be our last chance to
have a drink together if there ends up being an eviction. Gina’s
my flat mate of three weeks and five days. We’re currently both
on probation.
GINA: Me more than him.
SIMON: Pardon?
61 GINA: Nothing. A beer’d be great.
SIMON: Beer’d be good thanks Mate.
FRED exits.
SIMON: So… probation..
He indicates she sits.
GINA: I move in for four weeks, if it’s working, I stay, if it isn’t, I move
out.
SIMON: Is it working?
GINA: It’s working for me. A garage in Bondi would work for me.
There were forty people interested in my room. I was just lucky
to be the only one who works really long hours and had a fifty
inch Flatscreen.
SIMON: Why Bondi?
GINA: Are you kidding? Anyone who’s anyone lives here and anyone
who wants to be an anyone’s moving here. Not that I want to be
just anyone.
SIMON: Where do you work your really long hours?
GINA: A hospital.
SIMON: Nurse?
GINA: Doctor. But thank you.
SIMON: What do you mean?
GINA: Nurse’s sexier. In Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, he wasn’t sent a
home visit by a doctor. ‘I heard that you are feeling ill, fever
62 headaches and a chill, I’m sent here to restore your pluck, ‘cause
I’m the nurse who likes to ….’ What do you do?
SIMON: Not a lot at the moment. I think the official term is between jobs.
Yeah, I’m on a career break. Taking some time before I pursue
new opportunities. I’m hoping to do a PhD next year.
GINA: You’ll be a doctor too then.
SIMON: And I’ll definitely be using the title.
GINA: What in?
SIMON: Neuroscience. The brain.
GINA: (She yawns) Oh Sorry.
SIMON: You don’t have to write the thing.
FRED enters with three bottles of beer.
FRED: For you, for you. So how’ve you been mate?
SIMON: Good.
FRED: I mean… You seem well.
SIMON: Yeah, you know, can’t complain. Mean I could, but no one’d
listen.
He laughs.
FRED: You still living round here?
SIMON: But might be moving soon… Deal was I’d just stay til I got my
licence and I’m going for my test tomorrow.
GINA is confused.
SIMON: Hand controls. Like a fighter pilot. It’s very Top Gun.
GINA: Take me to bed or lose me forever!
63 SIMON: Show me the way home honey.
GINA is uncomfortable.
SIMON: What have you been up to mate?
FRED: Same old. Work, rest, play. The Mars approach. And I’m one of
the organisers of the BAN duathlon on Sunday.
SIMON: Sorry mate?
FRED: The red posters around.
He points to the walls.
SIMON: Oh yeah.
GINA: BAN stands for Bondi Action Network. That’s the acronym.
FRED: We’re a new local group hoping to provide a forum for the
community to take its own steps on climate change. Set our own
emissions targets, ban plastic bags, look at designated meat free
days…that sort of thing.
SIMON: Sounds great.
FRED: Yeah well someone had to do something.
SIMON: And the duathlon?
FRED: Is the launch. You should come down mate. I mean…
SIMON: No, sounds good. And a very Bondi way to launch .
FRED: Was actually going to be a triathlon, with an ocean swim across
the bay, but we couldn’t get insurance for the swim leg after the
surfer was attacked by the Great White shark.
SIMON: Are you entering?
64 GINA: I’m more of the spectator type. But I’ll be cheering, with
signage: ‘Go Fred. Best flatmate ever!’
SIMON: When did you get into fitness mate? You must have put on what,
ten kilos?
FRED: I started training the day after you beat me to the TV job.
GINA: What TV job was this?
FRED: Simon and I both auditioned to be a panellist on a new ABC
science show. Was going to be like Sixty Minutes, but just about
science.
GINA: When was it on?
SIMON: It didn’t go ahead.
GINA’s phone beeps.
GINA: Sorry I’m on call. (She answers) Hi Gina speaking. Oh… No
sorry, not groaning at you, I just thought I might get a bit of
sleep tonight. See you soon (She hangs up) Sorry, new
admission. But really nice to meet you.
SIMON: Yeah, you too. Don’t forget your keys.
GINA: Do you mind?
FRED: Ahhh…
GINA: I’ll leave them out somewhere.
FRED: I don’t like leaving them out. Um. Sorry mate, can we do this
another time. Been great to catch up… I should have said earlier,
can only stay for one beer anyway.
SIMON: No probs.
65 FRED: Um… Do you need a hand or anything?
SIMON: No I’ll just call for a cab.
SIMON drains his drink.
Black.
1.5
KATE’S FLAT
KATE is seated on a short stool with wheels. She is playing her guitar in front of the plant, the street directory is open on the floor in front of her.
SIMON enters.
KATE: What do you think of this?
She strums.
KATE: (sings) I walk from B2 to F3/I see myself, as you see me/on the
page, from up in the sky/.. da a da... needs a last line!
SIMON: Has potential.
KATE: How was the pub?
SIMON: He hadn’t heard. I’m getting a bit over the shock/sympathy
rollercoaster. Yes I was in an accident. Yes I now use a
wheelchair. Would you like a tissue?
KATE: Why don’t you open with a joke? Why didn’t Superman save
people during 9/11?
SIMON shrugs.
66 KATE: Cause he was in a wheelchair!
SIMON: (He laughs) No. Anyway are you implying that Superman could
no longer rescue people because he was a wheelchair user?
KATE: Is he going to help you with the other ninety nine and a half
pages?
SIMON: I didn’t get a chance to ask him. His flatmate was there. Gina
KATE: Gina?
SIMON: Mmm.
KATE: Why do you need his help anyway?
SIMON: It’d guarantee my admission. He’s one of Australia’s up and
coming evolutionary biologists.
KATE: Does that make him more of an ologist in biology or evolution?
SIMON: He would say both. Right, I’m off to bed.
KATE: Have you thought about what you’re going to do, if you get your
licence?
SIMON: Thought I better wait til I get it.
KATE: I know I said … Just, if you wanted to stay…that’d be ok
SIMON: Can we talk about it, if I actually pass?
KATE: Well good luck. I’m leaving early tomorrow, my Great Aunt’s in
hospital.
SIMON: Oh?
KATE: Nothing serious. She’s down from Byron for the Body Mind and
Spirit Festival and fell off her shoulder stand in yoga this
morning.
67 SIMON: OK, well, Goodnight.
KATE: Night.
SIMON moves to exit.
KATE hits the wrong chord on her guitar.
SIMON hesitates, then exits.
1.6
FRED’S FLAT
Morning. FRED sitting in his preferred chair.
GINA enters yawning. Dressed in work clothes.
GINA: What a night!...Three fractured hips, two broken arms, one
cracked skull…finally get into bed in the on call room, call from
the ward, one of my patients has chest pain, spend two hours
doing bloods and ECGs. Do you know what it was? A panic
attack! I’m like, there are people in this hospital who are actually
sick. Do you want a coffee?
FRED: No, I’m waiting on an international call actually.
She exits and re enters quickly.
GINA: I’ve been meaning to ask, why do we have a bar fridge as our
kitchen fridge?
FRED: Smaller carbon footprint.
GINA: I bought some milk home with me last night, but there wasn’t
any room, and I meant to clear some space before I went to bed,
68 but forgot, which is a round about way of asking, can I use a
drop of yours?
FRED: Sure.
GINA: (offstage) So what’s your call about?
FRED: It’s a radio interview.
She enters carrying mug.
GINA: Who with, Adam Spencer?
FRED: America.
GINA: Wohoo... What’s it about?
FRED: Piranhas. Someone from National Public Radio liked a paper I
wrote about their jaws. It’s probably a prank. He’s probably like
the Hamish or Andy of the Northern Hemisphere.
GINA: Do you do many interviews?
FRED: Enough to have to answer countless random emails, not enough
to be able to afford to keep your room as a study.
GINA: So what about Simon…
FRED: What about Simon?
GINA: Cause you so didn’t want to leave out your keys.
FRED: I don’t like leaving out keys.
GINA: I wonder how long it’s been since he dated a supermodel.
FRED: He’s lost about twenty kilos.
GINA: Was he a friend of yours?
FRED: Not really. Both doing PhDs in the same building, used to see
him around.
69 GINA: Well I wish I’d stayed home and done some washing. I’ve got
my performance review today. I might have to wear the skirt I
wore on Tuesday.
FRED: Are you sure that’s wise?
GINA: I’m not actually. If my boss was even slightly more interested in
my surgical skills than my appearance and his ‘preference’ for
me to wear a skirt I wouldn’t worry. As it is, if I don’t wear a
skirt, he’s ‘And who’s wearing the pants today Gina??’
FRED: So you should wear pants.
GINA: I’m the only female on the orthopaedic training scheme. You
follow ‘preferences’ or you’re voted off the island. The fridge is
completely full, I’ve left a few beers on the bench, after you’ve
polished off that delicious left over eggplant lasagne, would you
mind popping them in? I’m going to need them.
FRED’s phone rings as GINA exits.
1.7
HOSPITAL
Machines Beeping.
KATE is waiting nervously.
GINA enters in a white coat.
GINA: Sorry to keep you waiting. I’m Dr Matthews.
KATE: Kate.
70 GINA: Let me just grab the file…
She picks up a file.
GINA: Right… So you’re related to … (as if he’s dying) Bob. I’m so
sorry.
KATE: Ah, No. Ivy.
GINA: Sorry.
KATE: Small, pink hair, tie dye pyjamas.
GINA picks up another file.
GINA: Ah right. Ivy. So… Ivy’s your Aunt?
KATE: Great-Aunt. She was a lot older than my Mum.
GINA: We’ll get to that. Fell off her shoulder stand. Lives alone apart
from three cats, sixteen chooks, one lucky rooster, her words,
and a pet cockatoo.
KATE: Who’s quite conversant.
GINA: We’ll get to that. Usually quite healthy. No previous admissions,
no medications, life long non smoker. Hobbies yoga, talking and
‘healing’.
KATE nods.
GINA: She hasn’t broken anything... We’ll watch her overnight and
send her home tomorrow. Hold on… Last night she was going
from room to room tucking people in.
KATE: She’s very caring.
GINA: Well she shouldn’t be in other people’s rooms. Can you have a
word with her?
71 KATE: Sure. Um. Did she really say she has sixteen chooks? Last time I
was there, she only had two.
GINA: Maybe her ‘lucky’ rooster’s been working overtime. Let’s
see.(She looks) Sixteen. ‘Four borrowed, four blue, four old, four
new.’
They look at each other.
KATE: She’s got a wacky sense of humour.
GINA: That’s all. The on-call doctor will take care of her tonight, and
she can leave any time after ten tomorrow.
KATE moves to exit.
GINA: Actually… Do you have an address for a Catherine Valentine?
Ivy’s given her name as Person Responsible.
KATE: What’s that?
GINA: Next of Kin.
KATE: 30 Roscoe St Bondi.
GINA: Who’s that?
KATE: Me.
1.8
CAFE
KATE is writing on the blackboard.
SIMON enters on phone.
72 SIMON: I’m on 0432567876. Thanks Fred.
He hangs up.
KATE: Hi.
SIMON: (reading sign) ‘Best Coffee in Bondi’.
KATE: Boss thinks by saying ‘best foam’ we might be losing vegans,
espresso lovers and the lactose intolerant.
KATE reaches and hands him the street directory.
KATE: Sorry, I didn’t think you’d need it.
SIMON: I may not, but … Finish the song?
KATE: But it’s heading in the right direction.
He laughs.
KATE: You’re wearing a tie.
SIMON: Like it?
KATE: I didn’t know there was a dress code for driving tests.
SIMON: Can’t hurt. Might belie my desperation.
KATE: Or make it harder as the examiner might think you’re actually
going for a commercial licence to drive a hearse. Coffee?
SIMON: Mmmm, maybe a decaf.
KATE: You know the drill.
SIMON: I know it’s fair trade.
KATE: But other people don’t, it’s up to regulars to ask each time to set
an example.
SIMON looks around.
SIMON: There’s no one else in here.
73 KATE waits.
SIMON: Is this fair trade coffee?
KATE: Why yes it is, thanks for asking.
SIMON: How’s your Aunt?
KATE: Fine, as her only living relative, guess who’s Person
Responsible?
SIMON: What does that mean?
KATE: I have to be more responsible.
She pretends to be serious. He laughs.
SIMON: Those muffins look good
KATE: Would you like one? Go on. They’ve been hit hard by the GFC.
SIMON: Muffins?
KATE: They’re like the investment bankers of the food counter. Still
look and smell really good, but no one seems to know what to do
with them. We’ve had to introduce a special coffee and muffin
deal. Five dollars for coffee and muffin. Five fifty for soy,
double shot or decaf.
SIMON: I don’t know if I could keep it down.
KATE: Nervous?
SIMON: Just about the route. Hope it’s not round here.
MATT enters. SIMON has his back to him.
MATT: Good Morning.
KATE: Oh hi Matt. How are you?
74 MATT: Beautiful day, four foot surf, weekend tomorrow…. Would only
be better if I was Carla Bruni’s lapdog. Ma Cherie Ma Cherie…
KATE: Coffee?
MATT: Is it fair trade?
SIMON laughs. KATE hands him his drink.
SIMON: I’ll let you go
MATT and SIMON give each other a second look.
SIMON: Hi mate.
MATT: Mate. How you going?
SIMON: Good. Recommend a muffin.
KATE: Good luck
SIMON exits.
KATE: You know Simon do you?
MATT: We worked out. My gym’s adjacent to the hospital.
KATE: Usual?
MATT nods, looks at the muffins.
MATT: Look at all that muff.
KATE: Would you like one?
He shakes his head and pats his abs.
MATT: Ah, how great is it to have a morning off. Been working harder
than Hannibal’s bull elephant. Good to be in demand, but it’s
always nice to stop and smell the roses.
KATE: Roses have a lovely bouquet.
MATT: Indeed they do. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
75 KATE: Do you think that’s true? Say if a rose was called.. poo, do you
think it would smell as sweet? Mmm… Smell that poo!
MATT: We’d learn to associate … faeces… with the smell of roses. Yep,
he knew what he was talking about. Word association. Like how
we now associate Virgin with planes. When I hear a mate’s
booked Virgin, I don’t think he’s about to blow a fortune
cleaning his pipes.
KATE hums a little.
MATT: You love your singing don’t you?
KATE: It’s my favourite thing.
MATT: Do you gig?
KATE: Only here. Sundays after lunch my boss lets me play in that
corner.
MATT: What sort of music do you play?
KATE: I’m positioning myself as Lily Allen meets Flight of the
Conchords.
MATT: I’m not getting that.
KATE: So I’ve got a song called ‘Circular Heart’ which is about a big
round heart, where the usual pointy bit of a heart shape is
embraced a bit more by the two round bits and the whole shape
becomes one.
MATT: Right…
KATE: I always feel sad for the pointy bit, it’s like so far from the love.
Then ‘My Venn Diagram of You’, which is about the Venn
76 Diagram drawn between two lovers, like their combined area
being their union and their overlap as their intersection. I sing a
lot about circles. And ‘Falling in Love In Your Stomach’
MATT: Can you give me a sample?
KATE looks around, then shrugs.
KATE: (She sings) ‘It was a feeling, deep inside, I knew that I could
never hide, from the pull to you, I knew it when, I felt it in my
abdomen.’
MATT: Have you recorded anything?
KATE: Don’t know any Medici’s do you?
She hands over the coffee.
MATT: Mmm. Best coffee in Bondi.
KATE: Sure you don’t want a muffin? With a double shot soy
macchiato, it’s a bargain at $6.50.
MATT: Go on then, I’ll give it to my secretary.
MATT hands over the money and takes the muffin
He moves to the exit, then turns back to KATE.
1.9
FRED’S FLAT
Late afternoon.
GINA is seated, drinking a beer.
FRED enters, excited.
77 FRED: We might have council support for BAN!
GINA: Oh that’s fantastic!
FRED: I just got a call from one of the mayor’s chief operators, guy
called Malouf, thinks what we’re doing could be the most
important community initiative since Bundanoon banned bottled
water. If we can demonstrate sufficient community support,
council will come on board with legislation, and we’ll set a
precedent for the whole country.
GINA: That’s great.
FRED: I knew if we just started something would happen.
GINA: It had to. Well I’ve had the day from hell. Firstly, in trouble for
not referring that nutcase with the panic attack for a psych
review, then my resident yogi patient goes missing for three
hours… She’s in the kids ward teaching three year olds
acceptance, ‘Just say Yes. Yes. Yes’, and my boss was too busy
to do my appraisal so now I’m going to be on edge all weekend,
and not one, not two, but three of my patients died today. It
wasn’t my fault! Octogenarians who’ve fallen over and broken
their hips. Fractured hips are to Vaucluse what Nembutal is to
Mexico.
FRED: Is that my beer?
GINA: I asked you to put some of mine in the fridge. Oh I’m sorry…I’ll
put some in the freezer.
FRED: Don’t worry .
78 GINA: Oh I’m so sorry.
FRED: I said don’t worry.
GINA: They’ll be cold in like ten minutes. Or would you like me to go
down the street?
FRED makes a phone call.
KATE’S FLAT
KATE is sitting on the stool with wheels, humming to the plant.
SIMON enters, his phone is ringing.
SIMON: Hello.
FRED: Mate it’s Fred, returning your call.
SIMON: Mate, thanks. I just.. ..Sorry, I’m just home and juggling all this
stuff … Can I call you back in two minutes?
FRED: Sure.
SIMON wheels to KATE at speed
SIMON: Yeeha Jester’s dead.
He rolls at speed to her, and high fives.. and
continues, then turns.
KATE: That’s fantastic!
She rolls towards him on the stool, and connects with
her hands, before they spin past each other…
SIMON: I feel the need the need for speed.
79 KATE: Take me to bed or lose me forever!
He drops his arms.
SIMON: And he liked the tie. Thought perhaps I could drive a hearse.
KATE: You asked him?
SIMON: After he handed over my licence obviously.
KATE: Let’s see.
He hands it to her.
KATE: Cute photo. If a little White Lady Funerals.
SIMON: These hands! These hands!!
KATE: (suggestive) You have great hands.
SIMON: So I thought Icebergs. Happy hour. A celebratory and thank you
drink
KATE: You don’t need to thank me. But yes to celebratory. I’ve got
something to celebrate as well.
SIMON: Success with ‘Best Coffee in Bondi’?
KATE: My first non café gig!
SIMON: When did that happen?!
KATE: You know Matt? He said he knew you from the gym. Well, he’s
one of those ‘I support the Arts’ types and asked me to play at a
private function after the race on Sunday and depending how I
go, might give me money towards recording!
SIMON: That’s fantastic!
KATE: I’ll be one minute.
KATE exits.
80 SIMON makes phone call.
FRED’S FLAT
FRED is shaking his head at GINA.
GINA: Let me buy you a beer at Icebergs.
FRED: I need to crunch some figures for Malouf.
GINA: Which’ll no doubt be easier to do after a Friday night beer.
Come on. It’s Happy Hour. My shout.
FRED’S phone rings.
FRED: (Answering) Mate.
SIMON: Sorry about before. I won’t keep you but didn’t get a chance to
tell you.. Don’t laugh, but I’m working on an application to do a
PhD next year, and wondered if you’d have time for a chat?
FRED: Ah sure mate….
SIMON: Great. Well I’ll give you a call?
FRED: Sounds good.
SIMON: What you up to tonight?
FRED: Ah.. Might go for a quick beer at the Icebergs.
GINA silently cheers.
SIMON: Oh, might see you down there.
FRED: OK. Cool.
SIMON: If not, speak later.
FRED: Bye.
81 FRED hangs up.
GINA: Yay!
FRED: Simon’s heading to Icebergs though.
GINA: Shall we go elsewhere?
KATE’S FLAT
SIMON puts his phone in his pocket as KATE enters.
SIMON: (Exhales whistle) Nice.
She indicates skirt, top and jumper.
KATE: Vinnies. Salvos. Street.
SIMON: Street?
KATE fondles the coat.
KATE: Well garage sale. But there was no garage. So yeah, street.
SIMON: Fred’s heading to Icebergs, shall we go to the R-ie? I don’t feel
like pitching tonight
KATE: I don’t feel like you pitching tonight either.
1.10
PUB
Music, glasses clinking, talking, laughter.
GINA and FRED enter.
82 GINA: I hope this is RSL kosher. I didn’t want to look like I’d made too
much of an effort, but getting that look, actually takes quite a lot
of effort. What would you like? Oh. I need money.
FRED: I’ll go.
GINA: I-drank-your-beer.
FRED: I’ll get them, meet you at the table.
GINA: Well I’ll get a couple of double figures from the cash hole just in
case I can convince you to make a night of it.
She exits.
FRED waits at the bar.
SIMON and KATE enter, KATE goes to the bar.
FRED nods to the barman offstage, then notices KATE.
FRED: He’s just changing the beer taps.
KATE: That old chestnut.
FRED: What do you mean?
KATE: That’s what I used to say when I worked behind a bar when I
wanted a break. ‘Sorry everyone. Just changing the taps!’ I hope
he smokes faster than I used to.
FRED laughs.
FRED: I’m Fred.
KATE: Kate.
FRED: Out for a big one?
KATE: I hope so.
FRED: What’s a big night for you?
83 KATE: Beer, music, love.
FRED: Quite a threesome.
Slight pause.
FRED: How many big nights do you tend to have?
KATE: I try to have a big night every time I go out.
A barman arrives offstage.
FRED: Here we go.
KATE: I’ll have a couple of beers please.
She takes it.
KATE: Nice to meet you.
FRED: Might see you later.
KATE walks off, her coat falls off her shoulders.
FRED: Kate…
He picks it up, and turns back to the bar.
KATE sits down next to SIMON.
KATE: Brewskies.
SIMON: Thankskies.
KATE: Here’s to drive-throughs, drive-ins and no more Sundays in
‘cause you’ll be Sunday drivin’
SIMON: To being discovered.
They clink and sip.
KATE: I wonder what it would be like to be famous?
SIMON: Depends how famous I guess. Are you thinking say Silverchair
or The Squires?
84 KATE: Who are the Squires?
SIMON: That band that’s about to start up.
KATE: Actually probably The Squires. If I was famous, I’d probably
feature less in mags about Most Beautiful People and more in
the ones about Stars Without Makeup.
FRED arrives with KATE’S coat.
FRED: Kate.
SIMON: Hi Mate.
FRED: Oh hi.
KATE: Do you know each other?
SIMON: Fred’s who I had a beer with last night.
KATE: Ah… the biologist.
FRED: Evolutionary biologist yeah.
KATE: Does that mean you’re an expert in animal sex?
FRED: Ah no. The theory of evolution. Natural selection, survival of the
fittest.
SIMON: He’s written a book about it. ‘Animal Serial Killers’.
KATE: Sounds brutal.
FRED: That’s me.
GINA has entered and walks over.
GINA: Oh hi.
SIMON: Hi Gina.
KATE: You know each other?
SIMON: Gina’s Fred’s flatmate.
85 KATE: Oh.
GINA: And I’m looking after Kate’s aunt.
SIMON: So much for six degrees of separation.
KATE: Bondi’s more like two.
SIMON: Do you want to join us?
GINA: (to FRED) Actually I said we’d meet a friend in the back bar.
FRED: Who?
GINA: You don’t know her. She’s lost her keys.
FRED: Can you text her and let her know we’re here.
FRED sits next to KATE.
Sighing, GINA takes a chair on other side of SIMON.
SIMON: So how’s probation going? Gina and Fred are doing a four week
probationary period before the signing to be bound together for
six months.
KATE: You’re together together?
GINA/FRED: No.
FRED: Just flatmates.
GINA: And friends. We are now, don’t you think? We’re friends on
Facebook.
SIMON: So no nasty surprises? No deaths with falafel?
GINA: There has been a small incident involving a missing cold beer,
but apart from that it seems to be working fine. For me anyway.
Fred’s saving his feedback session til Sunday.
SIMON: Going to get out the white board and magic markers mate?
86 FRED: I thought a power point presentation projected onto the living
room wall.
KATE: Where were you living before?
GINA: Wollongong, Wagga Wagga, Wodonga. I’ve spent the last three
years moving between towns starting with W. Way it works.
Have to do your time in the country before they’ll give you a job
in the city.
FRED: How do you know each other?
KATE: We met at Uni. Went out for a while before he dropped me for a
giraffe in second year biology.
SIMON: Moved in six months ago when I first got out of hospital. I was
in North Bondi but my place had stairs.
KATE: Feels like six years though doesn’t it? We’re like an old married
couple.
FRED: How long were you in for mate?
SIMON: Six months. Watched a lot of cricket, and spent a lot of time
staring at a tree.
GINA: So it was only a year ago?
SIMON: A year ago tomorrow. (to Gina) So what do you reckons the
worst thing about sharing a flat?
KATE: Without question, the mess.
SIMON: I don’t make the mess.
KATE: I know, but living with you makes me feel bad about the fact
that I make it.
87 GINA: Possibly having someone move in who says they’re a really
good cook, and then not really liking their cooking.
FRED: I like your cooking.
SIMON: What else Gina, this is your chance to vent…
GINA: So no complaints. The hardest thing for me has been
remembering Fred likes to keep the vegemite in the fridge
GINA picks up her phone
GINA: Excuse me. Hello Dr .. Gina speaking. No, the Fellow’s on call
this weekend. (she hangs up) Cheers to that. Drinks?
She takes her wallet from her bag.
SIMON: I’m fine thanks.
KATE holds up a full glass.
GINA: (to FRED) Could you give me a hand?
FRED stands reluctantly .
GINA and FRED walk centre stage.
SIMON is watches the departing GINA.
KATE watches him watching the departing GINA.
KATE: I’m going to pee.
She exits.
GINA and FRED centre stage.
GINA: I’m giving you an excuse to leave.
FRED: I’m fine.
88 GINA: Well do you mind if I buy this round then drink somewhere
else? It’s kind of awkward getting smashed in front of a relative.
Oh, there’s that guy from Icebergs!
MATT enters, looking for someone.
FRED: I’ll see you later.
GINA: Should I say hi?
FRED: If you want to.
GINA: You can’t just say hi!
FRED: Say you think you know him from somewhere..
GINA: Is that not too obvious?
FRED: You’re going to learn a lot from me.
MATT comes closer.
FRED about to go, GINA grabs his arm.
FRED waits for GINA to say something. She doesn’t.
FRED: Hi mate.
MATT: Hi.
FRED waits for GINA to speak. She doesn’t.
FRED: Do we know each other from somewhere?
MATT: Not sure, do we?
GINA: You look familiar to me too.
MATT: I’m on tele.
GINA: Really?
MATT: Yeah, usually people think they know me, and I know them, but
it’s just they know me.
89 GINA: What have you done on tele?
MATT: I’m an athletics commentator for Fox Sport. I’m a handy middle
distance runner, almost went to Athens actually, management
likes the fact that, unlike most of their commentators, I’m
equally as comfortable with pentathletes as I am with past
participles.
GINA: Is that what you do fulltime?
MATT: (laughs) I wouldn’t even be able to afford to get my car serviced
on the pittance I’m paid by Murdoch. No I’m a barrister.
GINA smiles, and laughs nervously.
GINA: And what sort of car can’t be serviced on a commentator’s
salary?
MATT: An Audi R8 4.2 Quatro.
GINA smiles.
FRED walks back to SIMON, checking phone.
GINA’s phone rings…. MATT moves to leave…
She diverts the call.
GINA: Be great to catch up sometime. I saw you last night at Icebergs
actually.
MATT: Local are you?
GINA: Yeah. Should I get your number?
MATT: 0415 675 843
GINA: I’ll call you now so you’ve got mine as well.
MATT acknowledges the call and exits.
90 GINA makes another phone call.
KATE enters.
KATE: Do you know they now have hair curling wands in the girl’s
bathroom?
FRED: Seriously?
KATE: Two dollars, fresh curls.
FRED: You didn’t?
KATE: No. But you were worried.
GINA on phone, centre stage.
GINA: But he didn’t tell me. This is my first weekend off in a month.
(deep breath) Yes I know Ivy. I’ll come in.
She hangs up.
FRED: How’d you go with your licence mate?
SIMON smiles.
FRED: That’s great. So when are you moving out?
KATE’s shocked.
SIMON: Ah.. nothing’s decided.
GINA is now at the table.
GINA: Sorry...The senior registrar swapped shifts without telling me
and one of the patients was just found wandering round the
morgue.
She glares at KATE.
SIMON: Do you need help with a cab?
GINA: I’ll be fine thanks.
91 SIMON: Well it was great to see you again.
GINA: You too.
The band tunes up.
BAND VOICE: (offstage) Testing one two. Testing one two.
GINA readies herself to leave.
FRED: So … A PhD?
SIMON: Thought may as well apply… Just hope I haven’t burnt too many
bridges.
Laughs nervously.
FRED: Neuroscience?
SIMON: Was hoping to make it interdisciplinary between Neuroscience
and Evolutionary biology actually.
FRED: O right.
SIMON: It’s more about evolution… with all that’s happened… Well
I’m wondering if there could be a more creative model for it…
whether there’s more to it than what we’ve admitted .. Well,
quite frankly, was wondering where you stood on… intelligent
design?
GINA and FRED’s eyes lock.
Very loud music starts.
BLACK.
2.1
FRED’S FLAT
92 Morning.
FRED is typing on his laptop.
GINA enters from kitchen, coffee cup in hand.
GINA: What a night .. If Australia is ever invaded, and I’m taken into
detention, and I knew something about our national security, or
didn’t but they thought I did, and was going to be tortured but
for some reason… it was Ramadan or something….my captors
decided to be nice and let me choose between the different types,
I’d choose electric shock and water torture over sleep
deprivation. You know where they put you in a white room with
bright lights and keep you awake playing Celine Dion at volume
for weeks on end? I’d rather drown.
FRED: I didn’t know occupation was imminent.
GINA: Neither did Poland.
FRED: No. They did.
GINA: Sorry. Drowning’s supposed to be quite a pleasant way to die
you know.
FRED: Is that what you were trying to do in the shower?
GINA: Sorry, did you need to use the bathroom?
FRED: You know we’re running out of water.
GINA: I … thought all the apartments were connected to the one hot
water system.
FRED: As a nation.
93 Pause.
GINA: Are you on Facebook?
FRED: No
GINA: Thought you might have been stalking Kate.
Pause.
GINA: Her nutty aunt kept me awake most the night. She is nutty. Hey,
great wingman work last night. I got his digits.
FRED: ‘I’m on tele’? You’re not serious
GINA: He’s an Audi driving sports commentating barrister. It’s possible
no female has ever been more serious since Elizabeth first saw
Pemberley.
FRED: I know that means something about Mr Darcy. You do know
Jane Austen was a spinster.
GINA: Tell me Simon’s not really considering a PhD on intelligent
design?
FRED: (shrugs) Saved by the band. He wants to have lunch today. I
wouldn’t, but ….
GINA: Do you know what happened?
FRED: I’ve texted a mate.
FRED exits to kitchen.
GINA: Hey do you mind if I give work the home phone number? The
boss’ secretary won’t leave me alone until I give her a landline.
FRED enters.
FRED: Did you drink the last of the milk?
94 GINA: Oh. Oh I’m so sorry. I’ll go get you some.
She looks at her watch.
FRED: Don’t worry about it.
GINA: I’m such an idiot.
FRED: Don’t worry, I was tossing up going for a run first anyway.
GINA: Sorry.
2.2
KATE’S FLAT
KATE playing guitar to the plants.
SIMON enters.
KATE: Hi.
SIMON: Hi.
KATE: How are you?
SIMON: Fine.
KATE: Sleep OK?
SIMON: I feel fine.
KATE doesn’t quite believe him.
SIMON: My name’s Simon and it’s a year today since I last walked.
KATE: Hi Simon.
SIMON: It’s a beautiful day and I’m licensed to drive.
KATE: (clapping) Simon! Simon!!
SIMON: And I’m stinging for a drink.
95 KATE: Tequila?
SIMON: Tea.
KATE: I’ll put the kettle on.
SIMON: I’ll go.
She strums a little more.
SIMON: I thought you were doing the early shift this morning.
KATE: I swapped to tomorrow…. in case you had a meltdown and
needed to be scooped off the floor.
SIMON: You didn’t need to do that.
KATE: I’m just a reeeally nice person.
SIMON: You really are.
KATE: Do you think I’m nicer than Nice biscuits?
SIMON: Nice biscuits. Don’t you mean Nice?
KATE: Nice’s nicer. Do you?
SIMON: Not sure. Nice are pretty nice.
KATE: So do you want to do something?
SIMON: I’m already doing something.
KATE: Oh. What something are you doing?
SIMON: Going to run the coastal track, then breaky with the lads.... touch
footy in the park, an audition, date, few beers, out til late….
KATE is confused.
SIMON: I’m re-enacting what I did this time last year. With a few
modifications. Like I thought I might drive the coastal track.
KATE: The view’s better from the car.
96 SIMON: Particularly along the Tamarama bends: You don’t lose the high
aspect as you do when you take the low trail down through the
park. The number of people who must miss seeing pods of
dolphins and breaching whales. Much better in the car.
KATE: Bad timing with Fred last night.
SIMON: He probably thinks I’m Hillsong.
KATE: You look young enough for Hillsong.
SIMON: That’s one of the Nice-est things you’ve ever said to me
KATE: I was expecting your potential supervisor to be older.
SIMON: He finished his PhD at twenty six, appointed Lecturer at twenty-
eight, published his book at twenty-nine, a year before I
published mine…but guess who’s sold more copies?
KATE: Thanks for telling me you’re moving out by the way.
SIMON: I’m… It just came up in conversation the night before, I just said
the deal was I’d move out when I got my licence.
KATE: What are you going to do?
SIMON: I..
KATE’s phone rings. She answers it.
KATE: Hello. Oh no. Sure, I’ll come in straight away. (She hangs up)
My aunt’s had a fall.
2.3
OUTSIDE
Ocean, birds, beach sounds.
97 MATT stretching, FRED runs up.
FRED: You waiting for the bubbler mate?
MATT shakes his head.
MATT: Great day eh?
FRED nods.
FRED: How’d you pull up after last night?
MATT: Sorry?
FRED: Last night, the pub…
MATT: Oh sorry mate, yeah… You thought you knew me.
FRED: Yeah.
MATT: Mate, yeah, good. Took it pretty quietly. Doing the duathlon
tomorrow. Nothing like a run to get the blood pumping. Well
there is, but…
MATT laughs.
FRED bends and drinks.
MATT: Watch those hammies. Being organised by a new environmental
action group, cause we soooo need another one of those.
FRED stands upright.
MATT: Bondi Action Network. BAN. Why do protestors do that?
‘We’re here and we’re fucking angry’. They’d get so much
further if they weren’t so militant. Bring your brief to the table
and we’ll see. Climate change eh? The Emperor’s New Clothes
of our time. Look the sea’s rising! No. It’s just a wave.
98 MATT pats FRED on the back and runs off.
2.4
HOSPITAL
GINA looking through file.
KATE enters.
GINA: Fun last night. Nice of you to live with Simon.
KATE: How’s Ivy?
GINA: Nasty bump on her head. We’re going to do a scan just to make
sure there was no damage done. It’s actually not the fall that’s
concerning me. She’s dementing.
KATE: What?
GINA: I did a cognitive screen last night. She called this (she holds up
her pen) a writing thingy mi giggy gog, and thinks the Prime
Minister’s still John Howard. It’s most likely early Alzheimer’s.
We’ll need to run a few more tests, but I doubt she’ll be able to
go home from here.
KATE: Where will she go?
GINA: At this stage, you’re looking at a nursing home.
KATE: A nursing home!
GINA: This is her second fall in as many days, she needs constant
supervision.
KATE: There’s no way she’d want to go to a nursing home.
99 GINA: Can you afford a twenty-four hour nurse?
KATE shakes her head.
GINA shrugs.
KATE: She’d rather die.
GINA: I’ll call you when I have the results of the CAT scan.
2.5
KATE’S FLAT
SIMON has takeaway coffee cup, newspaper on lap.
KATE enters, carrying Ivy’s bag.
KATE: See any whales?
SIMON: Not even on the beach.
KATE: Gina wants to send Ivy to a nursing home.
SIMON: I thought she was down here for the Body, Mind and Spirit
Festival.
KATE: She seems so fine on one level. But then when you test her on
basic things …like putting the boiling hot water from her tea pot
into her tea cup and not the cup they’ve given her to clean her
teeth, she has no idea. I have to work out how much money she
has.
She pulls out a red wallet out of Aunt’s bag.
Emptying it, she finds no money but lots of notes.
100 KATE: (Reading) Turn off oven. Feed cats. Feed Ivy. Mmm. Call Kate.
Card for a Solicitor. Zen Hughes. How crystals is that?! Oh. It’s
got my number on it.
SIMON: Maybe she’s made a will?
KATE: I doubt she’d have anything to bequeath. I thought you were
going out for breakfast?
SIMON: I couldn’t get a park.
KATE: Don’t you have a sticker?
SIMON: Yeah, but so does everyone else. I almost had one then I lost out
to a guy who was given a three month permit for bunion surgery.
It’s weird driving round here again. Everything’s so different but
so exactly the same.
KATE: What do you mean?
SIMON: The cars… the uber coolness, the glare. It’s like… what are you
all doing?!
KATE: They’re being Bondi man!
SIMON cannot be cheered.
KATE: Did you drive everywhere in Bondi?
SIMON shakes his head.
KATE: I’m supposed to go to work but… sure you don’t want to hang
out?
SIMON: I’m going to Fred’s.
KATE: I still can’t get over how nice the flat looks.
101 2.6
FRED’S FLAT
FRED is preparing a clipboard and sheets of paper.
GINA enters, carrying an environmentally friendly shopping bag.
GINA: I’ve got skim, half strength and full cream milk. I couldn’t
remember which milk you drank.
FRED: Actually prefer soy.
GINA: Have you locked in the Council?
FRED: Malouf’s not that impressed with the numbers… He wants me to
see how many people I can sign up this afternoon.
GINA’s phone rings, she looks at the number.
GINA: No!!!
It stops, she’s relieved
GINA: Does the mere sight of your boss’ name on your phone make
you shake?
FRED: I am the boss.
She fiddles with her phone.
GINA: I’d better change it. Dick Butcher. ‘Cause I wouldn’t be out of a
job in a second if I answered, ‘Hi Dick’. Have I told you his
name? Dr Richard Butcher. Otherwise known as The Dick
Butcher. Nationally famous for butchering registrars’ dicks.
FRED: You don’t have to worry then do you?
102 GINA: It’s what else he might butcher that worries me. Eew I smell of
smelly patients. Can you smell me? You’re sick, you have a
fever… Spray! I mean, roll. It’s that last guy. Sixty year old
chain smoker with high blood pressure who’s just left his wife,
surprise surprise, has a heart attack. Here’s an idea. Don’t cheat
on your wife.
Knock at door.
FRED: That’ll be Simon.
GINA: ‘If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not
love, I am a clanging cymbal.’
FRED gives her a strange look.
GINA: Corinthians 13. Most weddings including the first on ‘Four
Weddings and a Funeral’. Do you want me to save you in five?
FRED moves to the door.
GINA: ‘Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.’
GINA exits.
FRED lets SIMON in.
FRED: Hi Mate.
SIMON: Thanks for squeezing me in.
FRED: Can I get you a drink or something?
SIMON: No thanks. Nice bike you’ve got out there.
FRED: Yeah, thanks.
SIMON: It’s a Mongoose isn’t it? I used to have the same one
103 FRED: Sure I can’t get you a drink? …. So you want to go back to
school?
SIMON: Yeah
FRED: So…
SIMON: So….
FRED: I think you wanted to know where I stood on Intelligent Design?
SIMON: You probably think I’m here to convert you.
FRED shrugs.
SIMON: I probably shouldn’t have used that phrase... Have you been
following any of the recent developments in neuroscience?
FRED: I’ve read whatever’s been in ‘Science’ and, for what it’s worth,
listened to the audio book of ‘The Brain That Changes Itself’
SIMON: Right, so you know that for decades, we’ve thought that, once
you become an adult, the brain is what it is, fixed, the product of
your genes and upbringing. But over the last few years that
concept has been turned on its head, so to speak, and we now
know, far from being fixed, the brain is actually very malleable.
The concept of neuroplasticity. Neuro, meaning brain, plasticity,
meaning plastic. The brain can change, and change itself. Did
you want to sit down?
FRED does.
SIMON: So we’re seeing stoke victims who’ve lost the use of their hand
rewiring their brains so they can write again. Did you see the
study that came out about London cab drivers? You know they
104 have to pass that ridiculous test and remember every lane and
back ally in London to get their licence? Well they did scans on
their brains at the beginning and end of their training, and found
the part of their brain responsible for navigation, was actually
larger.
FRED: I read that. Maybe that area was larger before, hence their call to
be cabbies.
SIMON: But maybe their brains had changed. Did you read about the
tribe of Sea Gypsies up near Thailand?
FRED shakes his head.
SIMON: They live on the ocean, their kids learn to swim before they can
walk and all their food comes from the sea, sometimes thirty feet
deep. A Swedish researcher thought this was pretty amazing.
How do you see well enough to catch fish at that depth? Do you
know what she found? The kids had developed the ability to
control the shape of their lens underwater, so when diving for
fish, it was as if they were wearing goggles.
FRED: Could be genetic.
SIMON: She went back to Sweden and was able to teach Swedish kids
the same thing.
FRED shrugs.
SIMON: I’ll get to the point. The theory of evolution. That random
variations in genes result in new species being born, and the new
species which are better suited to their environments, are the
105 ones that survive and breed. Natural selection, survival of the
fittest.
FRED: Thanks for the lesson.
SIMON: Sorry. Well that’s never made sense to me.
FRED: Darwin’s theory of evolution?
SIMON: The randomness of it. Of the billions of possibilities, how are so
many new species born with exactly the right variation to so
completely blend into their environment? The exact right shade
of camouflage, the giraffe with exactly the right length of neck
to reach the available leaves.
FRED: Random variation in genes, survival of the fittest. It is the
universally accepted model mate.
SIMON: Not by everyone.
FRED: Not by the Pope no
SIMON: What if neuroplasticity’s the link we’ve been looking for? What
if not only humans but all species have the capacity to change
themselves? What if evolution isn’t random, but a direct result of
what is being willed?!
GINA enters, in kitchen gloves.
GINA: Hi there
SIMON: Hi Gina…
GINA: Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt.
SIMON: You’re not, how are you?
106 GINA: Doing my Saturday Sadie the Cleaning Lady Impression! Just
wanted to remind you of the time Fred.
SIMON looks to FRED.
FRED: Ah thanks.
FRED looks at his watch, then looks up at GINA.
GINA: (to SIMON) Ridiculous isn’t it? The things a gal does for a room.
I’m practically a geisha.
She exits, walking with small steps.
FRED stands.
FRED: I’ve got a lot to do before tomorrow.
SIMON: Sure.
Pause.
SIMON: What do you think?
FRED: You want to do a PhD on the possibility that animals can will
their own evolution?
SIMON nods.
FRED: Mate…
SIMON waits for his argument.
FRED: I don’t even know where to start… Species don’t change
themselves overnight. Evolution has occurred over millions of
years…
SIMON: What about the Peppered Moth?
FRED: The Peppered Moth is an exception. And an example of natural
selection.
107 SIMON: Is it though?
Pause.
SIMON: Will you think about it? People have won awards for sillier
research. What about those guys who won the Aviation prize for
discovering Hamsters recover more quickly from jetlag when
given Viagra?!
FRED smiles.
SIMON: I was actually going to ask you to be my Supervisor.
FRED: Mate…
SIMON: I’d be the model student this time…. I just need a bit of help
with admission.
GINA enters.
GINA: Are you going Simon?
Pause.
SIMON: Looks like I am. Good to see you again.
GINA: You too.
SIMON looks to FRED.
FRED: I’ll think about it.
SIMON: Thanks mate.
SIMON exits.
FRED: A geisha?
GINA: Would you like a tea ceremony? Or perhaps communion wine.
Maybe I could wash your feet?
FRED: It wasn’t religion
108 GINA: What was it?
FRED: Something in between Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and
Lamarck on LSD.
GINA: Please explain.
FRED: Lamarck. Eighteenth century French guy, thought animals
acquire characteristics during their lifetime. Giraffes stretch their
necks. Bizarre. He was quite bright. Too busy screwing his way
around campus to ever finish his PhD, but the Profs rated him…
At least til he published his book.
GINA: What’s the Peppered moth? Sounds familiar.
FRED: Biology 101. English moth. Before the Industrial revolution it
was white, but when the sky turned black it stood out to too
many of its predators.
GINA: So it became extinct?
FRED: No, it changed to black. Natural selection. Right I’ve got a
meeting.
GINA: Watch yourself in the kitchen. I cleaned out the fridge, the
rubbish is by the door, I’ll take it down when I go.
FRED: OK thanks. See you later.
FRED exits.
GINA makes a phone call.
GINA: Hi Matt. It’s Gina. From last night. Just calling to say hi and
how great it was to meet you, and yeah, see if you’d like to catch
up sometime.
109
2.7
CAFE
KATE is humming and writing on the blackboard.
MATT enters.
MATT: ‘Best coffee in the universe’. They sell coffee on Mars do they?
KATE: Yeah, but it’s not as good as here. Would you like one?
MATT: Just wanted to give you tomorrow’s details.
He hands her a piece of paper.
MATT: Was that one of yours?
KATE: A new one, I think about cul d’ sacs.
MATT: More circles.
She laughs.
MATT: Will it be finished by tomorrow?
KATE: Not sure. I hope so.
MATT: Do you have to wait for the muse to strike do you?
KATE: I don’t know if it’s the muse, but it’s something.
MATT: Mmm.
KATE: Something like… Sometimes I feel like a song already exists…
somewhere out there… and all I have to do is be ready to take it
down.
110 MATT: You see the end to Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony in quavers
and crotchets across the sky do you? Look, it’s the end of the
Eighth!
KATE: It’s like when I’m not looking, there it is, but when I try to look
for it, it disappears. Its only there when I’m not looking.
MATT: Like preparing for a case, the key is to look at what isn’t actually
on the page. Which affidavit smells of Trojan? What are the
bastards up to…?!
KATE: Is that what it’s like?
MATT: Sure, it’s war.
KATE: What are you fighting for?
MATT: Territory, gold, women. Except in this case, the territory is short
listing for silk, and in truth, you don’t actually have to fight that
hard for women.
KATE: Are you seeing someone?
MATT: Why, you interested?
KATE: I like hearing how people meet and fall in love.
MATT: Got a song about it?
KATE: No…
MATT: Right… well… Six pm tomorrow. There’ll be a bit of money
there. Feel free to wear something sexy.
MATT exits as KATE looks at her clothing.
2.8
111 KATE’S FLAT
Medical brochures, plastic tubing and brown paper bags are arranged for packing on the table.
SIMON is lifting weights.
KATE enters, discarding her bag and coat on the floor.
KATE: Do you think I’m sexy?
SIMON: Pardon?
KATE: Matt wants me to wear something sexy to the gig tomorrow
night. I thought what I generally wore was sexy.
SIMON: Men are very visual.
KATE: What does that mean? I’m going to start wearing a Hijab. Then
you’ll see sexy. Just eyes. All alluring and Persian. Aren’t you
supposed to be at Touch Footy or something?
SIMON: Fred’s going to take some persuading.
KATE: Lucky you’re so persuasive.
SIMON: I haven’t been able to persuade you of the benefits of keeping a
tidy house.
He picks up her things and hands them to her.
KATE: Maybe that’s because I’m equally as persuasive about the
advantages of keeping it untidy.
SIMON: Those advantages being?
112 KATE: That our home is a refuge of chaos and disorder in an otherwise
oppressively structured world.
SIMON: It’s an occupational health and safety hazard.
KATE notices the table.
KATE: What’s that for?
SIMON: I forgot I said ages ago I’d do the ‘Here’s what its like to be a
wheelchair user’ talk this arvo.
KATE: Your ‘re-enactment’s’ not really going according to plan is it?
SIMON: I’ve still hopes for tonight.
KATE: Oh. Date lined up?
SIMON: How do you like my chances?
KATE: Not great. Women are very visual.
2.9
OUTSIDE
SIMON is waiting, GINA enters.
SIMON: (Smiling) What are you doing here?
GINA: Oh. The registrar I’m covering for agreed to do one of the talks.
Are you speaking?
SIMON nods.
GINA: What’s your topic?
SIMON: What do you think?
GINA shrugs.
113 SIMON: Sexuality.
GINA: Oh.
SIMON: Can almost hear them as soon as you go into the room. Can he
still do it, can he still do it? Yes, I can still do it.
GINA: Hasn’t it been a beautiful day today?
SIMON: Sorry, too much information. You look nice.
GINA: Thanks. Fingers crossed I’ve got my performance review
straight afterwards. I’m hoping revealing my ankles will help me
pass.
SIMON: So you can fail even though you’re already qualified? That’s
reassuring. Do you like orthopaedics?
GINA: Taken me ten years, four bad relationships and three years
sleeping in the on-call rooms of towns starting with W to get
here, so I’d want to.
SIMON: Isn’t it a bit of a boys’ club?
GINA: Why do you think I want to be in it? Fred said you’ve written a
book
SIMON: I bet that’s not all he said.
GINA doesn’t understand.
SIMON: It was research I’d been doing for a PhD I didn’t actually
finish…packaged it into a book, ended up doing quite well, just
not on the Science shelves.
GINA: Reference?
SIMON: Self-help.
114 GINA: What’s it called?
SIMON: ‘Eudaimonia’
She shakes her head
SIMON: Subtitle: ‘It’s All Greek To Me’. That was the publishers idea.
Almost made the bestsellers list, but kept being bumped by new
editions of Eckhart Tolle.
GINA: Is Eudai…
SIMON: Eudaimonia.
GINA: A Greek word?
SIMON: Ancient Greek. English translation’s tricky, it means happiness
but the happiness that comes from human flourishing… not the
happiness that comes from new car or sporting team win, but the
deep happiness, or contentment, that comes from living an
authentic life, the life you feel like you’re meant to be living.
GINA looks down, then up.
GINA: Interesting.
SIMON: That’s exactly what my head of department said after he read it.
He laughs.
SIMON: Listen, do you have any plans for tonight?
GINA: Ah..
GINA’s phone rings, she jumps.
GINA: Bloody hell what does he want now?
She answers it.
GINA: Dr Butcher… AHhh… Of course. Excellent. See you soon.
115 She hangs up, mortified.
GINA: Great, my boss is coming to my talk.
2.10
OUTSIDE
Street sounds. Cars, horns.
FRED is petitioning with his clipboard.
FRED: Hello, can I??...
KATE enters, picking flowers off the pavement.
KATE: Oh hi.
FRED: What are you up to?
KATE: Just rescuing these from trampling.
She reads.
KATE: Bondi Action Network. BAN. Cool.
FRED: You think so?
KATE: Rhymes with can. And man. And almost with jam.
FRED: Maybe that’s the problem. Doesn’t rhyme with jam. Maybe we
should have called it Bondi Action Mob. BAM.
KATE: What’s the problem?
FRED: The problem is the world is melting, and very few people seem
to care. Five in the last hour in fact.
116 KATE: What can they do?
FRED: Sign up. Agree to set personal emissions targets, have at least
one meat free day a week, and support a Bondi totally free of
plastic bags.
KATE signs her name.
KATE: Now you’ve six.
FRED: I don’t suppose you’d be interested in doing the duathlon
tomorrow?
KATE: I would but I’m an active member of Bondi Against Sport. BAS.
You may not have heard of us. We’re a small and largely silent
group who meet out of different bars most nights.
FRED: No, I haven’t heard of you, but would be keen to know more.
KATE: And I’d like to share more, but we’re under strict instructions to
communicate with non-exercisers only.
FRED: Do you have any plans tonight?
KATE: Not sure…Maybe.. Simon … yeah, not sure.
FRED: I was thinking of seeing a band. Should I get your digits? I’ll
text you later in case you’re free.
She writes it on his clipboard.
KATE: Hope it’s not long til you get number seven.
2.11
FRED’S FLAT
GINA enters, crying.
117 She smoothes herself, blows her nose.
She makes phone call.
GINA: Oh Matt, hi it’s me again, Gina. From the North Bondi last
night. Just thought I’d call in case you didn’t get my message
before… wasn’t sure if I’d hung up before I left the message or
not… Anyway, wondering if you’d like to catch up sometime..
Give me a call.
FRED enters with clipboard.
GINA attempts to conceal her distress.
FRED: Guess how many more people want to make a personal pledge
on carbon emissions? Bondi’s a young demographic, we’re
‘earth aware’, a sea rise of half a metre will make drinking at the
North Bondi Italian difficult without a surf ski…
GINA shrugs
FRED: Thirteen. Thirteen signatures in an hour and a half. You should
have heard the excuses, apart from ‘I’m not convinced by the
science’ to ‘China isn’t doing anything, so why should we?’
there was ‘I’m Catholic and already don’t eat meat on Fridays,
so adding another meat free day might make me anaemic.’
Pause.
FRED: Malouf’s given me til eight to fill the clipboard.
GINA: Malouf being the Mayor’s main man.
He notices her appearance.
FRED: Are you alright?
118 GINA: It’s been a big day.
FRED receives a text.
FRED: Cool. Mate in Canberra. Someone in Finance heard a podcast of
that interview I did and I’m being considered for a new science
and research committee.
GINA: Cool.
He exits.
She breathes.
He enters.
FRED: Where did all my food go?
GINA: What do you mean?
FRED: The containers of food in the fridge
GINA: They were all out of date…
FRED: That’s just what it says on the containers. I recycle them.
GINA: I threw them out. I thought… Oh I’m so sorry. Can I do anything
right?! I’m so sorry.
FRED: Don’t worry about it.
GINA: I should have thrown out the lasagne. I was just trying to make
some room in the fridge.
She sniffs. Reaching into her pocket, a brown paper bag falls out.. She
quickly picks it up and puts it back into her pocket, finding the tissue she
was looking for instead.
FRED: Are you sure you’re OK?
GINA: (sniffs) I’m getting a cold or something.
119 FRED gets two texts.
FRED: Alright already.
FRED looks at text then looks up. Stunned.
GINA’s phone rings.
GINA: Ohhhh!! (she answers) Dr Matthews. Oh. Put some oxygen on
her, I’ll come in.
She hangs up.
GINA: Kate’s aunt’s unconscious.
GINA makes a call.
2.12
KATE’S FLAT
SIMON is working on his computer.
KATE enters, wearing a very pretty dress with some of the flowers in her hair.
SIMON: Look at you.
KATE: (innocent) What?
SIMON: Tim just called. He wanted to say Happy One Year Anniversary
of not having to demonstrate my tango after bragging about
being able to do Latin. Unless I’m out with him, I can always lay
claim to having once been a brilliant dancer.
KATE: You were a great dancer at Uni.
SIMON: Moon-walking maybe, not the Tango.
KATE: Did you do that? Brag about your Latino abilities.
120 SIMON: Not as much as I should have.
He puts out his arms as if he’s about to dance.
KATE: I’m glad we lost touch in your stud-ly years.
SIMON: I was the perfect gentleman.
KATE: Yeah right.
SIMON: I was. Perfect.
KATE: Perfect storm maybe.
SIMON: You don’t know anyone who wants to buy a Ute do you? Tim’s
trying to sell his.
KATE: Who would I know that wants a Ute? Do you think I should
wear my hair like this tomorrow night?
SIMON: Yeah, it looks good.
He looks back to his computer.
KATE: Better than like this.
She tousles it.
SIMON: No, that’s incredible! Wow!
SIMON reads from his laptop.
SIMON: Listen to this. You know how cane toads are threatening heaps
of native species in Queensland? A few years ago, they almost
wiped out the red belly black snake. The snakes’d eat them and
die. But over the last few years, snake numbers have been
increasing again and no one could work out why, so a few
biologists compared a bunch of snakes from Queensland to
snakes from NSW, which doesn’t have cane toads. Do you know
121 what they found? The snakes from Queensland had developed
different shaped jaws. They’ve evolved so that they can’t eat
them!
KATE: Cool.
SIMON: I’m sure there’s something in this.
SIMON looks down at the laptop.
KATE: Feel free to take over the lounge… there’s not much room in
your room, set up a study station if you like…
SIMON: Kate, about the flat…I’ve loved living here, and with you. It’s
been a lifesaver. And I really appreciate the offer to stay on,
especially after….. But I want to get away from Bondi for a
while.
KATE: Have you been back to Six Ways?
SIMON: I’m going later tonight.
KATE: You might feel differently once you’ve been back.
SIMON: Tim’s going to have a look for rooms near the University…
So… where are you taking that dress out to?
KATE: I might go and see a band…. Any luck with a date?
SIMON: Not yet, there’s always the internet.
KATE exhales, and checks her phone.
KATE: Three missed calls.
SIMON: (joking) He’s keen.
KATE: Maybe.
SIMON: (surprised) You meeting someone?
122 KATE: I might meet up with Fred.
SIMON: Fred??
KATE: Just ran into him a little while ago.
SIMON: Oh. Well behave.
KATE: Why? You’re not going to. Have a good night.
She makes a phone call as she exits.
KATE : Hi Gina..…
INTERVAL
3.1
KATE’S FLAT
SIMON hasn’t moved.
KATE re enters, phone in hand.
KATE: My aunt’s unconscious.
SIMON: What? What happened?
KATE: They don’t seem to know… Gina’s on her way in.
SIMON: Is she alright?
KATE: She’s unconscious.
SIMON: Sorry.
She starts pacing.
KATE: Why would she be unconscious?
SIMON: Didn’t you say she fell?
KATE: Last night, hours ago. Does dementia cause unconsciousness?
Unconsciousity? I don’t even know the noun.
123 SIMON: What are you looking for?
KATE: My coat.
SIMON: Hook in the hallway.
She fetches it.
SIMON: Do you want me to give you a lift up there?
KATE: Could you?... Her bag…
SIMON: Kitchen.
KATE smiles and exits.
SIMON looks at screen.
SIMON: Oh shit.
KATE re enters.
KATE: What is it?
SIMON: Doesn’t matter.
KATE: What?
SIMON: Email in spam. I have to give the Uni a two thousand word
proposal by Monday.
KATE: I thought it wasn’t due for another month.
SIMON: This is for a scholarship so I can fund the thing. Oh..
KATE: You’ve got forty-eight hours.
SIMON: I’ll think about it later… Let’s go.
KATE: Do you think this’s ‘Person Responsible’ enough for Gina?
SIMON: Gina’s OK.
KATE conceals her jealousy.
SIMON: She was at the talk before… I think she’s pretty stressed out.
124 KATE: I’d better text Fred.
She takes out her phone.
SIMON: Can you call him? I might see if he can squeeze me in tomorrow.
KATE: Why don’t you call him?
SIMON: He’d probably screen my call.
FRED’S FLAT
FRED is looking at his clipboard.
His phone rings, he answers it.
FRED: Hello.
KATE’S FLAT
KATE: Hi Fred, it’s Kate. I’m sorry, I can’t go tonight … My aunt’s not
well.
FRED: Yeah, sorry to hear it.
KATE: Thanks.
FRED: Take care, I’ll call you another time.
SIMON gestures the phone.
KATE: That’d be great. Sorry Fred, Simon’d just like a word.
KATE hands over phone.
SIMON: Hi Mate.
FRED: Hi.
125 SIMON: Sorry to do this to you, but if I’m any chance of a scholarship I
have to have a proposal in by Monday…. Wondered if you’d
have any time tomorrow for me to drop round?
FRED: Oh Mate…
SIMON: I know I probably sounded like something from Hitch Hiker’s
yesterday, but that was just a small part of it … I just need ten
minutes.
FRED: I’ve got the duathlon tomorrow.
SIMON: Doesn’t start til ten though does it? Scholarship’ll mean
everything… expenses, accommodation… I’m no chance
without one.
FRED: Mate…
SIMON: I’ll be there at eight. Five minutes. You have to have breaky. I’ll
bring coffees….. and some of Kate’s muffins. She’ll make some
especially.
FRED: Be here at eight.
SIMON: Thanks Freddie.
FRED grimaces at the name.
GINA enters in a red dress.
SIMON: How’s Gina?
FRED: She’s fine.
SIMON: Give her my regards.
They hang up. Kate and Simon exit.
FRED: Simon sends his regards.
126 GINA: Kind regards, Best regards, Sincere regards?
FRED: He didn’t specify.
GINA: He was telling me about his book before. Eudiam..
FRED: Eudaimonia.
GINA: Do we have it?
FRED: What do you think?
GINA: Right…
She sniffs.
FRED: Are you sure you’re OK?
GINA: I’m fine. Just, new job, month without sleep, living out of a
suitcase… Sorry again about your food, milk, beer… and
whatever else I may have done that you’re too polite to inform
me of.
FRED: I think that just about covers it.
GINA: See ya.
3.2
HOSPITAL
GINA wearing her white coat over her dress.
KATE enters.
KATE: How is she?
GINA: She’s fractured her skull.
KATE is aghast.
127 GINA: Do you remember Natasha Richardson? Fell at the snow earlier
this year. Same fracture. The bone’s close to an artery, and
causes a bleed into the lining between the brain and the skull,
which is what we’re seeing now in your aunt.
KATE: She died didn’t she?
GINA: Yes. So I need you to sign this consent form so we can operate
and stop the bleeding. Fairly simple operation, there are a few
risks, the major one being stroke.
KATE: Like one that affects your arm?
GINA: Or leg, or it might affect her ability to talk. If that’s the case she
might need a bit of time in rehab before she’s discharged.
KATE: To a nursing home.
GINA: Yes.
KATE: Will the operation fix any of her dementia?
GINA: It’s a different process entirely.
KATE: So you operate, and save her life, but she might be left not being
able to walk or talk, and she’s still sent to a nursing home.
GINA: Is there a problem?
KATE: I’m just not sure if she should have the operation.
GINA: She’ll die Kate.
KATE: Maybe that’s what she’d want.
GINA: I know being Person Responsible can sometimes suddenly make
you feel, well, responsible… but it’s generally best to follow
medical advice… We do have your Aunt’s best wishes at heart.
128 The homes’re really quite good these days… There’re regular
craft days, bingo, visits from high school choirs.
GINA’s phone rings.
GINA: Excuse me. Oh Hi Simon (Kate looks up) I’m totally fine. Can I
call you back?
GINA hangs up, she smiles at KATE.
GINA: Look, I need to check on a few things, why don’t you think
about it? There’s a lovely courtyard near the street if you feel
like some fresh air.
GINA makes a phone call, KATE listens.
GINA: Sorry. Just caught up with something here. Be there as soon as I
can.
KATE is crestfallen.
3.3
BAR
MATT is waiting at table, with two chairs.
GINA rushes in.
GINA: Hi, Sooo sorry...Thanks for meeting here. I’m on call… backs
onto the hospital in case I have to make a quick exit.
MATT: Not at all. It’s sometimes good to see how the other half live.
GINA: Very sometimes.
129 MATT: I haven’t been to an establishment that has Keno since late
nineties.
GINA: Do you want to play? I’m joking. How was your day?
MATT: My feature wall’s giving me a headache at the moment. I’m on
the cliff and have a long open plan bar and lounge opening onto
a deck that looks straight down the beach, and there’s a
continuous wall, which runs about ten metres down one side,
faces East, so’s just bathed in sun in til about eleven, which is
great for the tan and lazy weekend lie ins, but not so great for my
John Olsen.
GINA shakes her head.
MATT: The artist.
GINA: Of course, sorry. My mind’s still across the road. Yes. Brilliant.
MATT: Lucky enough to pick up one of the Frog series for a steal a year
ago…greedy mate stung by a margin call. But it’s all a bit too
sunny for the marsupe’s liking. Had my Art Dealer drop round,
thinks I should move it to the bedroom, but that’s where I keep
the Degas and lady legs look so much better under down lights
than the frog variety if you know what I mean. Oh look the
footy’s on.
MATT looks to see the TV.
GINA: Oh. Who’s playing?
130 MATT: All Blacks and England. All sorts of trouble in the All Black
camp at the moment. A colleague of mine’s brother’s sister-in-
law’s married to one of the assistant coaches.
GINA: I love rugby.
MATT: Yeah, so not sure what to do. Don’t want to fry the frog.
GINA: No…
MATT: Bastard’s trying to sell me an etching by an up and coming street
artist from Port Kembla. Can you believe that? Flaming poof,
apparently his work’s all Blade Runner repressed industrial.
What else is it going to be? Don’t do etchings. If I wanted a
series of scratches, I wouldn’t use a condom. How much do you
know about HIV?
GINA: A bit.
MATT: How long can people live for these days?
GINA: Their life expectancy’s the same as if they didn’t have it.
MATT: Dddtch. This guy’s HIV positive. Better investment if there was
a guarantee he’d die soon. Shall we get some drinks? Looks like
we’ll be Waiting for Godot for table service.
GINA: Who can wait that long?
MATT: (to TV) Go son!
MATT stands.
3.4
OUTSIDE
131 Street and night garden sounds.
KATE looking through her Aunt’s handbag.
FRED enters.
FRED: Hi.
KATE: Still recruiting?
FRED: Just phoned thru the final numbers. Got fifty in the pub in an
hour. Should have been there all afternoon.
KATE: I’ve always wanted to walk around with a clipboard. Does it
make you feel important?
FRED: (standing straighter) Not at all.
KATE laughs.
FRED: How’s your Aunt?
KATE: They’ve given her some steroids so she’s awake at least. She’s
on ‘Neuro Obs’ which means they ask her ridiculous questions
like who’s the Prime Minister and what’s a pen called every five
minutes. I have to decide whether she should have an operation.
I thought perhaps I could phone a friend…
She indicates the bag.
FRED: Better that than fifty-fifty or ask the audience.
She smiles, takes out wallet.
KATE: No phone. I wonder if her yoga instructor would have an
opinion. Or her solicitor. She’s written my number on his card.
She chokes.
132 KATE: I don’t know what to do… She can still talk, and do yoga.. her
whole philosophy is acceptance, just say yes, but yes to life or
death, not to a nursing home. Sorry… she was my Mum’s Aunt,
we lost touch after Mum died, I tried to call her for a while, but
she didn’t call me back so I just stopped, she was probably
forgetting…
FRED: Would you give the solicitor a call?
KATE: She’s not even dead, he’ll think I’m already trying to get my
hands on her will.
FRED: Cause he’s never had that call before.
Pause.
FRED: Is there a cafeteria or something? Do you want to get a cup of
tea?
KATE smiles.
3.5
BAR
MATT enters with bottle wine and glasses.
GINA is on phone.
GINA: Tell the Dick,.. Dr Butcher.. I just have to get the consent then
she’s all ready for surgery. I’ll be there in five.
Hangs up.
GINA: Sorry about that, I’m supposed to be there but I’m just so over it.
133 She sniffs.
MATT: Don’t worry about it, I’m on call too actually.
GINA: Oh?
MATT: Well, when I say on call, I’m covering for a few colleagues.
Good friend of the floor topped himself this week, funeral’s
today. Most of the guys are at the wake, so I said I’d handle it if
anything minor comes up.
GINA: What’s going to come up on a Saturday night?
MATT: Haven’t you seen Michael Clayton?
He laughs.
GINA: Was the guy a lawyer?
MATT: One of the best. Had it all: Smarts, cute kids, mean backhand. (re
TV) Let’s hope the All Blacks do better in the second half.
MATT turns his attention to the TV.
GINA smells air.
GINA: Mmm, garlic bread…
GINA flicks hair.
MATT: So how long have you lived in Bondi?
GINA: Long enough. I can’t imagine living anywhere else.
MATT: St Paul de Vence be nice. South of France.
GINA: Yeah, around here I mean. I love the beach, the scene, the
lifestyle. It’s so casual, so much to do and see, see and do…
MATT: What do you do?
GINA: What do you mean?
134 MATT: When you’re seeing and doing?
GINA: Honestly, I’ve been working so hard recently…
MATT looks at the TV.
GINA: I just hang about, Icebergs, North Bondi Italian…
MATT: Don’t mind the Italian. Handy tables with those gutters with the
pepper, oil and sauces at each end. Just makes it easy you know?
(to TV) Go son!
MATT looks back to TV.
GINA: …I used to like sewing. That’s why Mum thought I should be a
surgeon actually.
MATT nods distractedly.
GINA: When I was working in the country last year I did a ten week
course in Pole dancing.
MATT: Nice.
MATT looks to her then back to TV.
MATT: They are nothing without Richie McCaw.
3.6
HOSPITAL
FRED and KATE seated with tea.
KATE: Thanks for encouraging me to call.
FRED sips.
FRED: Eew.
135 KATE: Hospital tea.
FRED: Why don’t hospital cafeterias’ sell alcohol? Of all places.
KATE: Wouldn’t have to be a big deal, a few beers and a small wine
list. Maybe a few cocktails with hospital names? The Coma
Comforter?
FRED: The Dementia Daiquiri.
FRED laughs.
KATE: I’ve drunk far too much of this. I used to be a Music therapist.
Like a physical therapist, but instead of wandering round the
hospital treating patients with weights, you wander round with a
guitar. ‘Sorry about your paraplegia, how about a song?’ that
sort of thing. That’s how Simon and I met up again.
FRED: How long did you go out for?
KATE: A year.
FRED: I think I remember him wandering round with the giraffe. He
certainly liked them tall. Not that I knew him well. He was the
sort of bloke everyone knew.
KATE: Alpha male.
FRED: I was more of a Delta. Actually, not even Greek. Just D, lower
case. So would you do covers or your own material?
KATE: A mix. Simon’s favourite was a song I wrote about Venn
Diagrams.
FRED: As in Maths?
KATE: He’s such a nerd at heart.
136 FRED encourages her.
She shrugs.
KATE: (sings) If I am a circle, and you are one too\What’s in our
middle, is me and is you\On top of each other, you’re my best
friend\ Overlapping all over, see how we blend\My Venn
Diagram of You, My Venn Diagram of You, Combined area’s
our union, and where we overlap is called our intersection.
FRED: Good.
KATE: It’s just a song.
GINA enters at speed.
GINA: Why didn’t you tell me she had an Advanced Care Directive?
Oh hi. What are you doing here?
KATE: Just keeping me company.
GINA: Right. Why didn’t you tell me?!
KATE: I didn’t know, I just called her solicitor then…he said she’d
signed a document a year ago saying in the case of a life
threatening illness, she didn’t want any interventions.
GINA: It’s just my boss is irate, he already thinks I’m completely
incompetent… Sorry, just… I should have checked, I just …
Oh…doesn’t matter. He’s showing it to the hospital lawyers. Her
solicitor works out up the coast or somewhere does he? Zen?
KATE nods.
KATE: Why do the hospital lawyers need to be involved?
137 GINA: You’re talking about withholding lifesaving treatment. I think
he’s going to want to speak to a lawyer. Sorry. I hope I don’t
smell of garlic do I? Did you sign enough people?
FRED shrugs.
GINA: How cool would it be if there was one day a week when no one
in Bondi ate meat. Maybe once a month we could have a BAN
BBQ and all get together and grill eggplant.
KATE and FRED share a look.
GINA: Well I might go and see who she now thinks the Prime Minister
is… Let’s hope it’s not still John Howard.
GINA’s phone rings.
GINA: Dr Butcher. Oh. No of course I’m not dropping the ball… Yes I
know that’s a football analogy. At two am. Yes sir.
She hangs up.
GINA: Zen didn’t include any evidence to show she wasn’t already
dementing when she signed the document.
KATE: So?
GINA: So she might not have been in any position to sign it. It may not
be legal.
KATE: What does that mean?
GINA: We have to go to Court.
3.7
OUTSIDE
138 Night.
KATE and FRED walking.
KATE puts her phone away.
KATE: She was totally fine a year ago! What’s the point of going to all
the trouble to prepare a legal if someone’s going to question its
legality! Zen’s trying to find someone for us who’ll appear pro
bono, which means for free apparently.
FRED is silent.
KATE: Thanks for walking me home.
FRED: A pleasure. Sorry about Gina. Do you know what my ad said?
‘Wanted: Chilled Carbon neutral non smoker to share quiet
relaxed household.’ I’ve had hot curries that have been more
chilled.
KATE: I’m going to have to find a new flatmate soon.
FRED: I’ll help you write the ad. Wanted: self absorbed neurotic, happy
to remain in room at all times and not share food and lounge.
KATE: Who did you live with before?
FRED: I lived alone. Had a few investments turn sour late last year, so
needed a bit of help with the mortgage.
She nods.
They walk.
KATE: (singing distractedly) Da DA..
FRED: One of yours?
139 KATE nods
KATE: A new one about love stories.
She looks for her keys.
FRED smiles.
3.8
BAR
MATT now has empty pizza tray in front of him.
GINA enters.
MATT: Sorry I was starving.
GINA: No, my fault, I … I can’t stay, work, although don’t even know
why I’m bothering.
MATT: I need to have an early night anyway.
GINA: Well really enjoyed catching up with you...Be good to do it
again sometime.
MATT: Mmmm.
MATT’s phone rings.
GINA: Bye.
GINA kisses him on the cheek as he answers his phone.
MATT: Yep? Oh. (looks at watch) Oh. OK.
GINA waves, he shoos her off, he’s concentrating.
MATT: I’ll be right in.
140 3.9
KATE’S FLAT
KATE and FRED entering.
KATE: Hello?
FRED: Nice flat.
KATE: I like to keep it clean. Make yourself at home.
KATE exits.
FRED picks up a book.
A door slams, voices.
FRED leafs through the book.
SIMON enters.
SIMON: That’s all sounding pretty dramatic.
SIMON notices what he’s reading.
SIMON: My book’s just out so I can check a few references. I don’t just
leave it lying around for visitors.
FRED puts the book down.
SIMON: I’ve been working on my application. I had no idea there were
so many examples of intelligence in nature.
FRED: (skeptical) Riggghht…
SIMON: I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise. Guide dogs, homing pigeons,
dolphins saving people at sea.
FRED: Would you call that intelligence?
141 SIMON: I wouldn’t have until now. There’s a study showing sheep can
recognize the photos of up to fifty other sheep and ten humans.
Sheep! Keith Kendrick. Neurobiologist out of Cambridge.
Behavioural ecologist called Culum Brown who’s been able to
teach fish to escape through a hole in a net. Guy in England
who’s been able to show birds can make tools. That was in
‘Animal Cognition’.
FRED: ‘Animal Cognition’??
SIMON: Sure not the same as being published in ‘Nature’ or ‘Science’,
but it’s interesting.
FRED: Has any of the research been done by Evolutionary Biologists?
SIMON: No.
FRED: So how are you going to write a PhD on evolution?
SIMON: So they’re looking at it from a different paradigm. That was my
best TV voice wasn’t it? No wonder the show couldn’t go ahead
with out me.
FRED: You can’t even be sure if they’re valid.
SIMON: Why wouldn’t they be?
FRED: ‘Animal Cognition’. I thought you’d be more wary than anyone
of the lunatic fringe. I’ve been wondering … I heard the accident
happened the night of the audition…
SIMON: Doing some research yourself are you?
KATE enters.
KATE: Do you think this is OK for court?
142 SIMON: Very Person Responsible.
KATE smiles at him.
KATE: What did you do for dinner?
SIMON: Italian. I probably stink of garlic.
KATE stops in her tracks.
SIMON: Do I?
She shrugs, moves to her bag.
FRED: When are you moving out mate?
SIMON: Actually… Tim called before. He might have a room.
KATE: Oh. .. When?
SIMON: Well it’s sort of free now. He didn’t mention it before cause he
wanted to check his new job came with an office, he’s just made
Associate Professor.
FRED: Tim Carl, Psychology?
SIMON: Tim Albert, Physics. I said I’m here for four more weeks
obviously.
KATE walks to door.
KATE: You don’t have to stay, I’m sure I’ll find someone. Have you
been to Six Ways?
SIMON: I’m going later.
KATE: See ya.
3.10
COURT
143 Late night street sounds.
GINA enters, files under her arm, looking around. She sniffs. She tries to smooth her outfit.
FRED and KATE enter.
KATE: It’s where he was hit. Six roads converge at the one spot. He
hasn’t been back.
She answers her phone.
KATE: Hi Zen….
FRED approaches GINA.
FRED: Hi.
GINA: Things going well with Kate eh?
FRED: Ah .. not at this very moment.
GINA: Sorry if I came across as rude before, I’m a bit.. Are you coming
in?
FRED shakes his head.
KATE enters the circle, on phone, despondent.
KATE: OK thanks anyway.
She hangs up.
KATE: He hasn’t been able to find her a lawyer… He thinks I should do
it myself.
She almost chokes.
144 GINA: People represent themselves all the time, it’s pretty simple
really. The judge just listens to each side and makes a decision.
It’s not as if it’s a fight or anything.
MATT enters, at speed, aggressive and pumped.
MATT: I love the smell of napalm in the morning!
He stops.
He clocks KATE, then FRED, then GINA.
MATT: Whaaat?... (to GINA) Are you stalking me?
GINA: No I….
MATT: (interrupting to KATE) Hospital versus Valentine.. Of course.
Well this’ll be interesting. Who’s representing you?
KATE: I am.
He puts his arm around her.
MATT: Do you know what they say about people who represent
themselves?? I’ll go easy on you. (Sees FRED) Ah sorry. Matt
Master.
He holds his hand out to FRED.
FRED: We’ve met before mate.
MATT: Yes right. (to GINA) So what are you doing here?
GINA: It’s my patient.
MATT: Sydney eh? Shall we?
BLACK
4.1
145 OUTSIDE COURT
Pre dawn.
KATE enters, distressed.
GINA, enters behind, carrying KATE’s coat.
GINA: Don’t forget your jacket. Or do you call it a coat? It’s a nice
sleeve isn’t it. It’s hard to find a well cut coat as a woman don’t
you think? At one stage I was thinking of opening a coat shop
just for women. JBC. Jackets, Blazers and Coats.
She hands it to KATE.
GINA: I’m sorry.
MATT enters.
MATT: Right. Drink?
KATE: I’m going to head to the hospital.
MATT: Well done. Rumpole himself couldn’t have done any better. Can
I see you to a cab?
KATE: I think I’ll walk. I feel like some fresh air.
MATT: Ok, See you soon. In about fourteen hours actually.
He does an air guitar strum.
GINA: Bye Kate.
KATE exits.
MATT: Right!
GINA: How are you getting home?
MATT: I was just going to jump in a cab.
146 GINA: My car’s just around the corner. Would you like a lift?
MATT: That’d be great.
4.2
KATE’S FLAT
SIMON is sleeping at the table, his laptop open in front of him.
KATE enters quietly, sniffing.
SIMON wakes.
SIMON: What time is it?
KATE: Just after four.
SIMON: (animated) I found a study that shows cockroaches can be
trained to prefer bright light, 2006 New Scientist. Where’s that
training taking place? You know how twins can sense when their
other twin has died, well how’s this? A South African Naturalist
found the death of a queen termite causes an instantaneous
reaction…
KATE: We lost the case.
SIMON: Oh, I’m sorry.
KATE: Matt represented the hospital, she didn’t have a chance
SIMON: Can I do anything?
KATE: I’m just going to wash the smell of lawyers off me then go and
see her.
147 SIMON: Well let me know.
KATE moves to the opposite door.
SIMON: Hey, have you seen a doco called ‘The Secret Life of Plants’?
KATE: Yeah.
SIMON: Of course you have.
SIMON types furiously.
KATE shakes her head.
4.3
OUTSIDE
GINA and MATT seated.
GINA switches car engine off.
MATT: Thanks for the lift.
GINA: Well done back there. You were fantastic.
MATT: Judge’s one of the good guys. He was at school with my dad.
What about that reference he made to Paradise Lost. (He laughs)
Oh, no sorry, that was in Latin. Good save.
GINA: What do you mean?
MATT: Why do you think we were coming down on her so strongly? If
patient’d died as a result of fall in hospital, she could have sued
your butts off.
He readies himself to exit.
GINA: Did you want me to come up?
148 MATT: I have to get at least four hours sleep before the race tomorrow.
GINA: Me too. (She puts her hand on his knee) Go Matt...
4.4
KATE’S FLAT
SIMON still working furiously on his laptop.
KATE enters.
SIMON: You know the chicks in the tree outside my window when I was
in hospital? How I couldn’t work out why sometimes there
seemed to be birds other than their parents feeding them? I think
you were right.. I think the others were helpful neighbours or
friends or something… There are lots of documented cases of
birds taking care of each other’s chicks. And get this.. Monkey’s
have been known to call out a warning to their troops when a
predator approaches, putting their own lives at risk. All this
work on altruism out of Princeton…
KATE: Whatever. I’ll see you later.
SIMON: Sure I can’t do anything?
KATE shakes her head.
SIMON: Oh, was Gina at Court?
KATE: Yeah
SIMON: How was she?
KATE: Fine. Must be all that garlic.
149
4.5
MATT’S FLAT
GINA and MATT enter.
GINA looks at the feature wall.
MATT grabs remote.
GINA: I see what you mean about the Frog.
MATT: Yeah. As dry as a nun’s…
GINA: (walking down stage) And what a view!
MATT presses a few remote buttons.
The lights dim. Music starts.
MATT: Shit. Look at those clouds.
GINA: Must be about two hundred meters up.
MATT: Pretty close to it.
She pushes herself against his chest.
GINA: You look like you’re two hundred centimetres up.
MATT: Two hundred and two point two actually.
They kiss briefly.
Lightning in distance.
MATT: How… about a pole dance?
150 4.6
CAFE
Dawn.
KATE rummaging through her bag.
FRED enters.
FRED: Hi.
KATE: Oh hi.
KATE nods.
FRED: How did it go?
KATE: Surgery’s at eight.
KATE shakes her head, crying.
KATE: Sorry… it was just horrible. They were all so smug, and I had no
idea what was happening… it was like a pantomime and I was
the person who’d been plucked up from the audience and
everyone knew the jokes and the script except me… I think the
judge was even making jokes in Latin…I just saw her then, and
now she thinks I’m the Prime Minister and they can’t tell now if
some of the brain damage will be permanent because of the
delay and the anaesthetist is like, ‘Don’t worry, her heart’s as
strong as an ox’ and I feel like I’ve let her down, even though I
did my best, and now she’ll be sent to live out her days behind
security doors listening to high school choirs. Sorry.
FRED: That’s OK
151 KATE: It was just so not about doing right, and all about not doing
wrong. What’s that? Sorry.
FRED: That’s OK.
KATE: You’re up early.
FRED: I wanted to check the course. Did you hear the wind? There’s
talk of the bureau issuing a severe weather warning.
KATE: I’ve forgotten my keys.
4.7
MATT’S PLACE
Bed.
GINA is wearing MATT’s robe.
GINA: When was that photo taken?
MATT: Peru. Ten years ago. Ever had one of those experiences when
you arrive in a place and it’s the Running of the Bulls or
something. Dad lined up this community housing project as he
thought it might help me secure the Rhodes, got there and it was
the opening of this seventeen year festival called Tala Pachu, the
age of coming together. Awesome night. And I thought the coke
was pure in Thailand.
Thunder.
GINA: I can see why you prefer the Degas in here. Ladies legs are much
more appropriate.
152 She attempts something sensual.
MATT: Listen Gina, last night was great, but I’m not looking for a
relationship. You seem fabulous... but… you know.. Well I just
really have to focus on my career right now.
GINA: Yeah, I wasn’t thinking…
She laughs falsely.
MATT: You’re a doll. Right, better hit the road eh? I’ll just slip into
something less comfortable.
He exits.
GINA sniffs.
GINA’s phone rings.
GINA: Hello Gina speaking. Oh. … Can you let her niece know? I’ve
got a personal connection. Yeah, I’m just running late… I’m a
minute away.
4.8
FRED’S FLAT
FRED enters on phone.
FRED: That’s great mate. Thanks.
He hangs up.
FRED: Yes!
Knock at door.
FRED: Hello.
153 SIMON: (off stage) It’s me.
FRED checks his watch, sighs, opens the door.
FRED: Sorry, I totally forgot you were coming.
SIMON: And I totally forgot I said I’d bring coffee and muffins.
He laughs.
FRED: Mate, I’m sorry, I don’t know if I have time.
FRED blocks the entrance.
SIMON: Heard it was a late night.
FRED: Yeah and… Be out there soon anyway, I’ve just been appointed
to the PM’s new Science and Research Advisory Committee,
SARAC.
SIMON: What, is that part of the CSIRO?
FRED: No, going to be run directly out of Rudd’s office. Likes his
advisers young apparently.
SIMON: That’s great Freddie.
FRED grimaces at the name.
FRED: Thanks, so I’ve got all this paperwork to do… declare
everything, fill out the security check…
SIMON: I just need ten minutes.
FRED stands back to let him in.
SIMON enters, puts his bag on the floor.
He thinks.
SIMON: Sorry mate… Been up all night…
154 FRED: Guess you’d be thinking about starting by telling the Faculty
why the current Theory of Evolution is inadequate?
SIMON: Hasn’t that already been covered?
FRED clears his throat.
SIMON: Species and their environments evolve together, one changes,
the other changes in response. Darwin’s is evolution in a bubble.
Not many environments are as stable as the Galapagos circa
1835.
Pause.
Then FRED shakes his head.
FRED: OK. Let’s for the sake of the argument, ignore the fact that
evolution has occurred over billions of years, if species and their
environments were going to change together, they’d need to be
capable of processing some sort of feedback, have some sort of
intelligence.
SIMON: Yeah.
FRED: Oh Sorry, I forgot about the article in ‘Animal Cognition’.
SIMON: You obviously know about the red belly black snake.
FRED: Natural selection, survival of the fittest.
SIMON: The Peppered Moth.
FRED: We’ve had this conversation. And their environments. You can’t
have a separate model for animals and plants.
SIMON nods.
155 FRED: You think plants might have some sort of intelligence? That
they’re possibly capable of ‘willing’ their own evolution??
SIMON nods.
FRED: Plants-don’t-have-brains.
SIMON: And yet there are countless studies which show plants grow
better when they’re exposed to music. Where is that growth
being activated? And what about all the research showing that
plants can feel emotions?
FRED is disbelieving.
SIMON: Have you seen a doco called ‘The Secret Life of Plants?’
Pause.
SIMON: It was narrated by Stevie Wonder.
FRED is aghast.
SIMON: An American lie detector expert called Cleve Baxster was
interested to see if he could use his lie detector to work out how
quickly water rises up a plants stem. Lie detectors record
emotions. He attached it, know what happened? Showed exactly
the sort of tracing you’d see if it was connected to a human. He
wondered what would happen if he burnt one of its leaves. The
plant responded as if it was feeling pain. Plants have recordable
emotions. He even hooked up some yoghurt.
FRED: Yoghurt??
SIMON: The live bacteria cultures in the yoghurt responded to emotional
156 stimuli too.
FRED: You’ve got to be joking!
SIMON: It’s all documented.
FRED: By Stevie Wonder?
SIMON’s phone rings.
SIMON: Hi. Oh (to FRED) Kate’s keys are locked in the house, do you
mind if she drops in for mine?
FRED: I’ve really got to get going mate.
SIMON: (to phone) Sorry…
FRED: That’s fine.
SIMON: See you soon.
He hangs up.
SIMON: She won’t be long. Where was I?
FRED: I’ve got to get going mate.
SIMON: Five minutes. I’ll set my watch.
He sets an alarm.
SIMON: What if, just what if, intelligence… consciousness wasn’t brain
centric?
FRED: Oh! You want me to put my name to your application to be a
Yoga instructor. Why didn’t you say?
SIMON: Have you seen any of the neuroscience coming out of Harvard?
Guy called Libet, shown any conscious decision we make,
actually comes after our brain’s begun the process of making the
157 decision. The conscious self is not actually the point at which
our decisions begin.
FRED: That’s bullshit.
SIMON: It’s not mate.
FRED: Does he offer an alternate location?
SIMON: No.. Maybe animals and plants are the same. Plants might not
have brains, but what are plants made of? Same as brains.
Atoms. Electrons, protons, subatomic particles. Where does
brain processing activity take place?
FRED: So you’re a physicist now?
SIMON: No, but maybe that’s why we’ve been missing things for so long,
we’re all so caught up staring down our own departmental
microscopes, we’ve forgotten how to see
FRED: We’re not missing much mate.
SIMON: Stem cells. A single cell with the ability to change into a bone or
a heart or a brain cell. But if it turns into one of the first two, we
no longer consider it intelligent?
GINA enters, sniffing.
GINA: (shocked) Oh hi.
SIMON: How are you?
She nods vacantly.
GINA: Horrible out there.
She exits.
158 SIMON: I’m not saying I have the answer, I’m saying let’s ask the
question. You know that we now know genes change as a result
of their environments. Obesity research. Kids of obese parents
may not be born with the ‘obesity gene’ but they can somehow
develop it during their lifetimes, and then pass it on to their own
kids. How’s that natural selection?
FRED: ‘The Secret Life of Plants’?
SIMON: If ‘Nature’ would publish his work, I’d obviously prefer to
source from there, but you know what happens when you’re
labelled ‘lunatic fringe’? I was vilified by the Establishment over
my book because it ‘wasn’t science’, and yet every bit of
research quoted is fully referenced. It wasn’t my fault it was
championed by the Happiness movement and allegedly plugged
by the woman who made ‘The Secret’. You know how grants
and publications work. The funding goes to the big institutions,
the ones that support the dominant paradigm, the peer reviewers
who make the decisions as to which studies are published in the
best journals are all on the same boards, the chance of an
independent thinker being published anywhere other than his
own blog or the scientific equivalent of the Illawarra Mercury
are zip. The guys who discovered stomach ulcers are caused by
bacteria were shouted down at medical conferences for thirty
years! They won the Nobel Prize.
FRED: Why me?
159 SIMON shrugs.
FRED: After the audition?
SIMON: When you tried to break my jaw?
SIMON shakes his head.
SIMON: You know how hard it’d be to get anyone else to supervise me.
Knock at door.
Thunder.
FRED: I have to get going mate.
FRED opens door, KATE enters.
FRED: Hi.
KATE: Sorry. Must be early Alzheimer’s.
SIMON: They’re in my bag.
KATE: I’ll get them.
FRED: Any news?
KATE: No.
KATE puts her coat down.
She moves to and rummages through bag.
SIMON: (to FRED) If Survival of the Fittest is such a complete model,
how do you explain altruism? In nature. Birds feeding each
other’s kin, monkey’s warning their troops by calling out when
predators approach, putting their own lives at risk. There are
countless examples. Not the action of selfish genes. And it
correlates with what I found in humans. Doing random acts of
kindness for others makes you happier on any number of
160 psychological scales, relationships make you live longer,
practicing forgiveness lowers your blood pressure.
FRED: Forgiveness?
SIMON: You haven’t even read my book have you? Lawler et al, Journal
of Behavioural Medicine 2003. It’s in the chapter on
‘Longevity’. They’re all studies twenty years ago no doubt
would have been labelled lunatic fringe. No surprise to non
scientists, feelings have more impact on longevity in humans
than we ever thought possible. And, maybe animals and plants
as well. But they’re difficult to study within the scientific
framework…love, joy, sadness, fear…they’re never exactly the
same each time. We don’t have another twenty years. We’ve
used Survival of the Fittest as a model, as an excuse, for a
hundred and fifty years, and it’s taken us to the point of
extinction. Doesn’t that say something?
FRED is unmoved.
KATE has the keys and is moving to door.
SIMON: Kate thinks plants grow with music.
KATE: Or not. Depending on the quality of my bar chords.
FRED moves to the door.
FRED: Mate…
SIMON: What about meaning? When I was in hospital there was a guy in
the next bed, (to Kate) you remember, he was less injured than
me…. he had more money, more family, an office job he could
161 have gone back to, but his partner had left him… We both got
pneumonia, he died.
FRED briefly looks to KATE.
FRED: What kept you alive?
SIMON: This!
KATE: I’m going…
She’s forgotten her coat, she walks across to it.
SIMON’s watch alarm goes off.
SIMON: This does have something to do with last year. When I came out
of my coma it was as if I was suddenly seeing things for the first
time…as if I’d been shaken and everything I thought I knew, I
could suddenly see, was just a product of the logic and doctrine
I’d been taught, and with that gone, I was able to see, really
see…There’re clues, there’re questions… You know that plant
experiment… The plants recorded traces when Baxter just
thought about threatening them. He thought about burning a leaf
and, on the other side of the room, the lie detector recorded a
terrified trace. There’s a study about Queen Termites… When
they die, there’s an instantaneous reaction throughout the
colony. No time for smell signals or messenger ants.
Instantaneous. What’s happening there? We’re so arrogant and
yet we’re no closer to a unified theory now than we were when
Galileo was kicked out of Rome. Just because things happen
162 beyond our perception doesn’t mean they don’t exist.… The
Butterfly Effect...
GINA has entered, sniffing and looking very disorientated.
GINA: (to KATE) Oh hi. I’m sorry about your aunt.
KATE shrugs.
SIMON: Are you OK?
GINA: Yeah, I’m fine.
SIMON: Sorry about cancelling.. I was hoping to take you out for a
coffee.
GINA: Good luck with the move today.
GINA exits.
KATE is staring at SIMON.
SIMON: Oh… Tim rang before, he’s sold the ute, it’s being picked up
tomorrow, he offered to come round and move me today,
thought it made sense.
KATE: Bye Fred.
FRED: Bye.
SIMON: Kate, wait…
KATE exits.
FRED: (indicating door) Mate…
SIMON: Why did you leave early that night?
FRED: You want to know?
SIMON: I presume you were pissed I got the gig.
163 FRED: Yeah I was pissed. While you were drinking and shagging your
way round campus, I’d actually completed my PhD, published
over fifty papers, and spent the last two years as Senior Lecturer.
You had the better legs.
SIMON: We were sitting behind a desk
FRED: You know though I never really expected to get it, just like I’m
pretty sure you wouldn’t have thought you wouldn’t have. I left
because you were holding court, pretty much being the same
cock you’re being now. I’m Superman and I’m here to save the
world.
SIMON: I’m not asking you to do the research Freddie, I’m asking you to
support its right to be done.
FRED: Do you really think someone in my position would want to be
associated with a plant whisperer?? And don’t call me Freddie!
GINA enters, wearing sneakers.
SIMON: Are you sure you’re OK?
GINA: Just going for a walk…Apparently the ocean looks amazing
from the cliffs.
SIMON: Did your boss?
GINA shakes her head quickly.
SIMON: Well hopefully Ivy’s operation’ll go OK.
GINA: Ivy died an hour ago.
SIMON: During surgery?
164 GINA: Just after Kate left. They were just about to wheel her in, her
heart just stopped.
Home phone rings. GINA hurries to door.
GINA: See you later.
FRED: Home phone. You expecting anyone?
GINA shakes her head quickly and exits.
SIMON: Why are you organising BAN? Cause the planet’s dying? And
how do you we know that? Who put themselves on the line forty
years ago?
FRED: And do you know how many people still don’t believe it’s
happening? Do you think now’s the time to tell the world we’re
going to do a randomised controlled trial on yoghurt?
SIMON: Humanity needs science…
FRED: Rigorous, reproducible science.
SIMON: Religion’s failed, economists have failed, democracy’s failing...
Science is the only hope, but it’s going to take more than a fun
run… Contrary to popular opinion, I didn’t drop out because of
the book deal, I dropped out because we’re not speaking to what
people are talking about, out there! The evidence’s there, we just
have to be scientist enough to see it. There’s more to survival
than competition.
FRED: You would think that now.
SIMON: I’ve always thought that. Which you’d know if you’d read my
book. I’ve read yours and I can tell you animals aren’t serial
165 killers. Survival of the Fittest has been a convenient lie. And if I
can find one species, just one, that’s willed its own evolution, it
might give us the chance to will our own. It was never the
smartest or the strongest that survived, but the ones that were
most amenable to change.
FRED: But you haven’t changed one bit have you? Competition’s over,
no one’s following you any more mate.
SIMON: They are. You’re just too blind to see them.
SIMON exits.
FRED kicks something.
4.9
OUTSIDE
Thunder. GINA is making a phone call.
SIMON wheels past, he attempts to chat, she waves him away.
GINA: Hi Matt, Just wanted to thank you again for last night… and
wish you all the best.
4.10
KATE’S FLAT
KATE’s phone is ringing in her bag. She takes it from her bag. She just misses it. It rings again. She answers.
166 KATE: Hello.
MATT enters centre stage.
MATT: Hi Kate. No hard feelings? I was thinking, not sure if the race’s
going ahead, and if it doesn’t, I won’t have the colleagues back
afterwards for afters, and not sure if it’d be the right thing to
subject you to them for your first gig anyway, so what say I plan
to hear you in the café for starters instead? I think you said you
play on Sunday afternoons.
KATE: I don’t know about today Matt, my aunt’s having her
operation… I have to work…
MATT: I’m still very much interested in helping you record
KATE: I won’t have time to drop off my guitar…
MATT: What’s say I pick it up and drop it off for you? If you feel like it
great, if not, we’ll put it down to experience. Text me your
address.
KATE: Matt… I don’t…Whatever.
She attempts to make a ‘W’ with the thumbs and forefingers of her two
hands, but with her phone in her right hand, she can only use the thumb
and forefinger on her left hand. It makes an ‘L’. She looks at it.
Her phone rings again.
KATE: Hello Kate speaking. ….Oh..
167 4.11
FRED’S FLAT
The home phone rings. It stops.
FRED enters, on his mobile.
FRED: Anyway, sorry to hear, take care Kate.
4.12
CLIFF
Wind howling, thunder, lightning.
GINA enters, distressed and disorientated.
Her phone rings. She doesn’t answer it.
4.13
KATE’S FLAT
KATE puts her guitar at door.
SIMON enters.
KATE: Ivy died.
SIMON: Gina told me.
KATE absorbs this.
SIMON: Can I do anything?
KATE: Pack.
168 SIMON: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.. I just... It’ll just save me having to
hire a truck. And of course I’ll pay you.
KATE: Good, cause that’s why I’m upset.
SIMON: Are you upset about your aunt?
Pause.
KATE: Haven’t the last six months meant anything to you?
SIMON: They’ve meant everything....
KATE: But you’re just going to walk away?
SIMON: Is this about six months ago?
KATE: It’s about now. I thought the cooking and cleaning… You were
finally going to tell me…
SIMON: I need to be on my own for a while.. get my own place, my own
things around me… I want to feel like me again.
KATE: Who do you feel like now?
SIMON: I need to prove I can do it on my own, survive on my own. I
have to find a way of doing this PhD…
KATE: Yeah, ‘cause that’s what the world needs right now, more
knowledge, more science.
SIMON: It’s the only way to be taken seriously… Science is the only
thing that’ll convince people.
KATE: It doesn’t convince me.
SIMON: I know this is the next step for me. I need to do this…
Otherwise… Otherwise what was it all for??!
169 KATE: Who told you about plants and music? Who pointed out the birds
in the tree?
SIMON: What? So you want me to say I’ll stay, when I’d rather…
KATE: When what? Say it? When you’d rather be with a girl like Gina?
SIMON: No! I want to feel free again! I want to get away from… Out of
Bondi, and look around!
KATE: At what? If you’re really looking for a unified theory of
everything, it’s right here in front of you, it’s love you friggin’
idiot, it’s friggin’ love.
KATE’s phone rings.
KATE: (Answering) Hello. No she’s not here. (covers mouthpiece) Do
you know where Gina is?
SIMON shakes his head
KATE: (listening to phone) Sure, I’ll wait out the front.
KATE hangs up.
KATE: Gina’s missing.
SIMON: What do you mean?
KATE: She’s supposed to be at work, she’s not answering her mobile,
they just called Fred at home.
He takes out his phone.
SIMON: She had a panic attack yesterday… At the talk… in front of her
boss. Who then failed her.
KATE: Why didn’t you say?
SIMON: She asked me not to.
170 KATE: I’m going with Fred to look for her.
SIMON: Do you want me to come?
KATE: Why don’t you stay and see what else you can find on altruism.
4.14
CLIFFS
Wind, thunder.
Car engine switches off.
KATE: I’ve never been up here.
FRED: (calling) Gina…
KATE: Gina…
FRED: GINA…!
KATE: GINA!… Do you really think she would?
FRED sees something.
FRED: Is that her jumper down there?
KATE: Was she wearing red?
4.15
KATE’S FLAT
SIMON is typing on his laptop.
Knock at the door.
171 SIMON: Come in.
GINA enters.
SIMON: Hi…
GINA: Hi.
Pause.
GINA: Thanks for your calls.
SIMON: How you going?
GINA: Fine.
GINA wanders a little.
SIMON: Would you like a cup of tea?
She shrugs.
SIMON: Look… do you mind if I text Kate? She and Fred are looking for
you.
GINA: What for?
SIMON: The hospital rang your home…
GINA: Did you tell them about yesterday?
SIMON: I told Kate. Sorry.
GINA: Oh… No sure.
SIMON: Sure you wouldn’t like a tea?
GINA: I should probably go… You look busy.
She turns and walks to door.
SIMON: I could do with a hand actually.
She hesitates.
172 SIMON: I’ve got twenty hours to work out what to do with my
application.
GINA: Fred’s not helping?
SIMON shakes his head.
SIMON: I’m playing with ‘evolution’. One definition is any process of
formation or growth… Does that work for you?
GINA: Isn’t it to do with random variations in genes?
SIMON: Takes more than genes to keep us alive.
GINA looks down.
SIMON: What do you think keeps living things alive? Or makes them
thrive?
GINA shrugs.
SIMON: Why do you get out of bed every day?
SIMON looks at her.
GINA: Cause my pager goes off.
She sobs.
SIMON: Hey, hey.
GINA: Sorry.
SIMON: That’s OK.
GINA: Sorry… It’s just… How could he friggin’ fail me… I’ve worked
my butt off, I’ve done what I’ve been told, I’ve endured the most
friggin’ gross sexual harassment, … ‘Just bend over and
examine that ankle for me Dr Matthews’, ‘You don’t mind if I
put my hand over yours to help you with that retractor do
173 you?’… And I’m good! Or I could be if I wasn’t so bullied.
‘Your suturing’s not up to scratch’.. How could it be with the
surgical equivalent of Jack the Ripper breathing down my
neck…I don’t know what to do… Ten years I’ve been working
towards this, ten years… and I finally get here, and….
She gasps for air.
SIMON: Breathe, just breathe..
GINA breathes in and out quickly, then more slowly.
GINA: Sorry. Sorry.
SIMON: That’s ok.
GINA: Great and now I’m condemned to a life of panic attacks like a
friggin’ looney tune. If he wasn’t going to pass me before that
happened. …And everyone’ll find out…‘There’s the nutter who
couldn’t even give a ten minute talk at a disability day’
She cries.
GINA: (big sniff) Sorry..
SIMON: Why are you worried about people knowing?
GINA: Are you kidding? They’ll think I’m a freak.
SIMON: We’re all just pretending.
GINA sniffs.
SIMON: We’re all freaks. We just sometimes go through freakier phases
than others.
GINA kisses him.
SIMON pulls away.
174 SIMON: Sorry… how about that tea?
4.16
CLIFFS
FRED and KATE seated in car.
KATE: Funny when you think someone’s dead and then they’re alive.
FRED: Hilarious.
FRED indicates phone.
FRED: Race’s off.
KATE: What do you think that red thing was?
FRED: Probably a poster for the duathlon. Probably choke a whale
KATE smiles.
FRED: All I can say is thank god the appointment came through. I’ve
been appointed to a Federal Science and Research committee…
extra cash will be enough to turn Gina’s bedroom back into a
study. She needs help.
KATE: Poor thing.
A moment.
FRED leans in roughly to kiss her.
KATE: Oh. Sorry Fred.
4.17
KATE’S FLAT
175 GINA is reading SIMON’s book.
SIMON enters with tea.
GINA: Apologies… Just really seems to work for me, throwing myself
at men.
SIMON: Throwing myself at women used to work for me.
GINA: Not really the same thing though is it?
They smile at each other.
GINA: I should probably go.
SIMON: I thought you were going to help me?
GINA acquiesces.
SIMON: So, ‘Process of formation or growth’. What do you think?
GINA shrugs.
SIMON: Does formation imply a destination?
GINA: I guess.
SIMON: I’m not sure if I like it.
GINA: You don’t like a destination?
SIMON: Implies a finished product.
GINA: I’d be happy to be a finished product.
Pause.
SIMON: What would make you feel finished?
GINA: This is really pathetic but a boyfriend…
She sobs.
GINA: Sorry. Sorry. … Can I please stop crying? Sorry. But it would….
176 She cries.
He puts his arm around her.
GINA: Don’t feel like you have to come on to me.
SIMON: No…
GINA: I just get lonely, you know, it’s hard, and I don’t even know
what it’s all for… I have no life, my friends have given up on
me, I thought I’d be happy once I moved to Bondi but… I
always wanted to be a woman that people looked up to, that
made a difference but I sign more death certificates than
discharge summaries… Sometimes I feel like I’m doing it just to
prove that I can, rather than because I actually want to…Is it
wrong to just want to meet someone and get married?
SIMON: Not if that’s what you want.
GINA: Mum always thought I should have a career. She’s like the only
woman in the seventies not to burn her bra. When Dad left we
had nothing.
She laughs, then shivers.
SIMON: Are you cold?
He hands her KATE’s coat.
GINA: (absorbed) I love this coat. I made one like this in high school
with appliquéd pockets.
Knock at the door.
MATT: (offstage) Matt Master for guitar belonging to Kate Valentine
GINA: Oh! Is there somewhere I can hide? Don’t ask.
177
4.18
FRED and KATE driving.
KATE is humming.
FRED: Is that the new song?
KATE: Yeah.
Pause.
FRED: What’s it called?
KATE: Not sure, maybe… Sat Nav of My Heart. It was a journey song,
about street directories, and love stories on different pages… but
I’ve embraced technology and now it’s about acceptance and
‘recalculating’
Pause.
KATE: Do you sing?
FRED: Only when I forget I can’t.
Pause.
KATE: Why did you become an evolutionary biologist?
FRED: The old man was in the military, becoming a left wing nature
expert seemed like the best way to piss him off.
Pause.
KATE: I’d like to be an ologist one day.
FRED: What would you be an ologist in?
178 She shrugs.
FRED: What about Music Therapy?
KATE: We’re being phased out. There’s not enough evidence that what
we do works.
FRED nods.
KATE: Are you going to supervise Simon?
FRED looks at her as if she’s mad.
FRED: Do you think evolution can be willed?? The faculty wouldn’t
touch him.
Pause.
KATE: He doesn’t blame you, you know.
FRED: Why would he?
He pulls over.
KATE: Thanks for dropping me off. I’m on at the café later if you want
to come. Be good to be friends.
FRED: Maybe.
4.19
KATE’S FLAT
MATT: Haven’t seen you at the gym for a while.
SIMON: Haven’t been able to get there. Been working out down the road
MATT: You look great, must be what? 80 kegs?
SIMON nods.
179 MATT: Kate’s pretty cute. Ever thought to? Don’t want to shit in your
own backyard eh. Speaking of which... Was I punished last
night! Must have had about two minutes sleep. Right.
He picks up the guitar and lyric sheet.
MATT: My Venn Diagram of You. She loves circles apparently.
SIMON: She believes we’re all one.
MATT: Circle?
SIMON: She believes in the Gaia hypothesis.
MATT: ?
SIMON: The theory that the earth, the biosphere and everything in it,
animals, plants, us, are all just parts of the one living breathing
thing. Plants breathe out oxygen, we breathe it in.
He shakes his head.
MATT: I’d asked her to sing for the colleagues tonight, a little too
enthused there wasn’t I?.. Her nerves wouldn’t have held up
either… Road kill in court. We should work out. Don’t forget, if
you ever get to the Paralympics, ‘I wouldn’t be here but for Matt
Master. Spotted me every day, wouldn’t let me give up…. CBA:
Conceive, Believe, Achieve.. They’ll cut to me in the
commentary box, and I’ll be, Nooooo… I had nothing to do with
it….
SIMON: Sounds good, except’ll be the Olympics mate.
MATT: What happened with the song therapist you couldn’t work out
what to do with…your ex-girlfriend from Uni or something?
180 SIMON: We got back together when I first got out of hospital six months
ago…
MATT: Nice.
SIMON: … Lasted a week. I wasn’t ready.
MATT: Totally. Women.
MATT exits.
SIMON: It’s safe.
GINA enters.
GINA: Punished? Wasn’t my finest hour. Or two minutes. Which
wasn’t how long he was asleep.
SIMON: He actually really helped me.
GINA: Do you mind me asking what happened?
SIMON: I’d been given the TV gig, was drinking with Fred, some mates,
a girl, was late, I was on the road waiting for a cab, was hit.
GINA: Did they find the driver?
SIMON: Fred was supposed to give me a lift home. Think it all just got to
him.
He touches his jaw.
GINA: He hit you?
SIMON: Probably deserved it. You know what though, when you’re so…
nothing… so naked, so stripped back and all that’s left is will…
sometimes only the faintest trace of a will… and you live again,
it’s strangely liberating. Do you know there are tribes that when
their kids reach puberty, they strip them, blindfold them, brand
181 them with coals, then leave them on their own in the jungle for a
week. They’re terrified… You can imagine their little hearts
beating...their little lungs gasping for air…. But once they’re
through, they know who they are… There’s something about
being stripped back to your essence.
He smiles.
SIMON: So Matt’s not Mr Matthews?
She shakes her head.
SIMON: Do you think you can be happy with just the one person for the
rest of your life?
Pause.
GINA: The albatross mates for life.
SIMON: Do they?
GINA: Spend months at sea, then fly home to be reunited with their
partners. I didn’t realize you and Kate… Sorry. I couldn’t help
hearing.
SIMON: She should have kicked me out….but I had nowhere to go, she
said I could stay til I got my licence.
GINA: What happened?
SIMON: It’s complicated.
GINA: Why?
SIMON: This. Me…
GINA: So much for being stripped back to your essence.
She shrugs.
182 GINA: I should go. And get my marching orders probably. Just to
really top off the weekend. What was that you were talking
about before?
SIMON: The Gaia hypothesis?
GINA: No earlier, the Butterfly Effect. Does that have something to do
with that moth?
SIMON: Physics… Example of chaos theory… how small variations can
cause large variations down the track. A butterfly flapping its
wings in Brazil, changing the course of a tornado in Texas.
GINA: Is that true?
SIMON: Hard to replicate exactly obviously, but the modelling would
suggest so. Everything’s interconnected.
GINA: Well thanks for the tea.
SIMON: Thanks for the help.
SIMON takes out his phone.
4.20
HOSPITAL
KATE on phone.
KATE: Thanks Zen.
She hangs up. GINA enters.
183
KATE: Oh hi, how you going?
GINA: Good now.
KATE: Ivy’s left me her most precious possession as reward for being
responsible apparently. Is that my coat?
GINA: Oh... Sorry… Simon gave it to me…
KATE: Oh.
GINA: We’re not… We just had a cup of tea.
KATE: And dinner last night.
GINA: I had dinner with… doesn’t matter. So, do you need any help
with arrangements?
KATE shakes her head.
KATE: She’s donated her body to science. But might be held up. She
might be a coroner’s case because of the fall down the stairs.
I’m just the type to sue.
They smile.
KATE: Do you see that often?
GINA: What?
KATE: People dying just at the right time…
GINA: People hold on til relatives arrive, sure.
Pause.
KATE: Well I’ll see you round I guess.
GINA: Kate, I’m sorry if I was rude, or short with you or anything…. I
.. Well I’m a little demented myself actually.
184 KATE smiles at her.
4.21
KATE’S FLAT
SIMON’s bags are out.
SIMON: (on phone) Thanks mate.
He hangs up as KATE enters, carrying her coat.
SIMON: Tim might be able to supervise me! Going to make it
interdisciplinary between neuroscience and physics.
Pause.
KATE: I’m sorry about before.
Pause.
SIMON: I just don’t know if I can be that guy.
KATE: Which guy?
SIMON: Here.. content…
KATE: You are that guy, you just….
Pause.
KATE: That’s OK. I’ve forgiven you because it reduces my blood
pressure remember...
Concealing her hand, she makes an L with her thumb and forefinger.
SIMON: What’re you doing with your finger?
185 KATE: Nothing.
SIMON: You did it a lot, six months ago... Is that a gun?
KATE: It’s an L.
SIMON: For loser?
KATE: Love…. After you dumped me, I found myself saying (puts her
thumbs and fingers into a W) ‘Whatever’ all the time then one
day I was about to say it but couldn’t use one hand cause I was
carrying my guitar and was just left with L which made me think
of love… So now whenever I’m about to say (she makes W)
whatever, I try to think what would whatever look like as love
(she makes L).
She rolls her eyes.
SIMON: I just drove through Six Ways.
KATE: Oh.
SIMON: People still don’t know when to give way.
Pause.
KATE: This PhD… Willing things… Will it help you?
SIMON: Walk?
KATE nods.
SIMON shrugs.
SIMON: I can’t think how. Maybe.
Pause.
SIMON: I will walk again.
186 KATE: Well when we meet up again, sometime down the track, I’m
going to bring two of these.(indicates stools) I’ve had the time of
my life with you on wheels.
Pause.
SIMON: I don’t want to be down the road anymore.
KATE: So go.
SIMON: I thought you’d forgiven me.
KATE: I love you. And this is kinda the third time you’ve broken my
heart…so it’s hard to always focus on my blood pressure. But I
understand. I’ll just miss you, you know.
She cries.
SIMON: I’ll miss you too.
KATE: I’ve gotta go
He holds up his keys.
SIMON: What shall I do with these?
KATE: Just leave them with the plant.
SIMON: I can’t thank you enough…
Shakes her head crying.
KATE: Don’t thank me.
She leaves, sobbing.
4.22
FRED’S FLAT
FRED is on the phone.
187
FRED: I’m all for rescheduling. If there isn’t another shark attack
between now and then we should see if we can get insurance for
a swim leg and turn it back into a triathlon. Mate, the
government’s not going to act without people taking to the
streets, and the people are not going to take to the streets because
they don’t care about the science. It’s not about trust, they don’t
understand it. Don’t forget the most watched TV show this year
was Masterchef. Thanks, very gratifying. Have to check the
stats, but first up quite keen on this giant sun shield idea. Put
sheets and sheets of insulation just above the ozone layer which
acts like a giant shade cloth for the earth, the other side’s light
weight aluminium, so it reflects the sunlight back out into space.
Umm…About the size of Tasmania. Yeah that’s right. Look! Up
in the sky! It’s a map of Tassie! (He laughs) Ciao Comrade.
GINA enters.
FRED: Hi there…You OK?
GINA: Sorry everyone was so worried.
Pause.
GINA: Bummer about the weather.
FRED: Climate change’s a bummer. Feel free to tell your friends.
Pause.
188 GINA: Fred, about the flat…I’m going to take some leave, so rent might
be tricky. You’ve been great... I just … I’m not sure if Bondi’s
the right place for me at the moment, I might go away.
FRED: Sounds like a plan.
GINA: Thanks, do you mind if I stay til I work out what I’m doing? I’m
good for rent of course.
FRED: It’s just I’m going to need to start using that room as a study
again ASAP. You’re lucky you’ve a fifty inch flatscreen.
She walks away.
FRED: Thought I might head down to Kate’s café later if you want to
come. May as well be neighbourly.
4.23
CAFE
KATE writes on the blackboard.
MATT enters with the guitar.
MATT: ‘Best Music in Bondi.’ Well let me be the judge of that.
KATE: Thanks Matt, I feel weird about you…
MATT: Just the two of us? Might be better for your nerves. Good
decision I thought last night. Often at that time of the morning,
Judges can be quite brusque, but he really took the time to listen.
KATE: I beg your pardon?
189 MATT: I said Judges can be quite brusque in the middle of the night, he
really listened.
MATT gets himself a chair.
GINA and FRED enter, GINA listening to FRED.
GINA: What did Malouf say?
FRED: ‘Keep going, we think it’s a great community project, let us
know if you want to put something on the council website… oh,
and any talk of us coming on board with legislation was all off
the record’…
GINA: Hi.
KATE: Thanks for coming.
FRED: What are friends for?
MATT sees GINA.
MATT: You are stalking me.
GINA: I’m punishing you.
MATT: Let’s get this show on the road eh?
KATE: I wasn’t going to sing today. But this is for Ivy. And for love.
My new song. It’s called ‘The Story of Love-Ology’ or ‘The
Story-Ology of Love’ or maybe both.
Strums.
KATE: (Sings) The road that leads you to me, is a\ road that’s never
empty for its\speed humps and hard curbs, and its\ sat nav
coordinates, and you, drive away from me now\ but I’ll wait for
190 you right here now, in this cul de sac of empty\ for your, love to
win my heart back, when it’s time……
SIMON enters.
KATE: (Continues singing) And the voice in my head is recalculating,
recalculating, recalculating… \Even though you change
directions, you never really change\That’s the story of love, and
the story of love-ology\ And the story-ology of love.
SIMON gives his keys to GINA.
KATE: (Continues, intermittently choked) The road that leads you to me,
is the\road that’s been there always, for its, longing stares and
heart aches (SIMON nods goodbye and exits) …and its round-a-
bouts and freeways, and you, know that he’s the same he\ that
he, was before you knew him, for his heart.
She wipes a tear.
MATT, GINA and FRED clap.
MATT: Bravo, Bravo!
KATE: Sorry, So….(She strums, then sings the tune of Venn Diagram
song) I am a female, and you a guy,\You are outgoing and I’m
kind of shy\Combined with each other, we have the same
heart,\We sleep in the middle, more one than apart\My Venn
Diagram of you, My Venn Diagram of you\Combined area’s our
union\And our big overlap is called our intersection..
BLACK
191 5.1
SIMON enters stage right, and addresses audience.
SIMON: Cut to twelve months later. It was so good to get out of Bondi.
Had a great Summer with Tim. We drank, had barbies most
nights, I looked up a few old girlfriends. And started my PhD.
GINA enters.
She is casually dressed, her hair messy and free.
GINA: I went to home to Mum’s for a while. It was the first time I’d
spent more than a night at home since I started Uni, so it was
good to spend some time. My old sewing machine was there. I
sewed.
MATT enters.
MATT: Had a great time in Aspen over the Summer. The powder there’s
whiter than snow (taps his nose). Perfect time to be away as I
had to completely re-do my place. Layered blinds and double
glazed glass. The sun’s just too strong for the frog.
FRED enters.
FRED: Who’d have thought Freddy would end up where he is. I landed
a new business card about a month ago. Senior Adviser PMC.
Prime Minister and Cabinet. I was going to insist they save the
cardboard… but would anyone really have done that? A bunch
of us are dining with Al Gore this week. I can’t tell you how
192 good it feels to finally be getting things done. Only bummer, I
had to miss the triathlon.
KATE enters stage left, sits on a wheely stool.
KATE: I woke up every day thinking Simon’d come back for a while …
I asked Gina to move in. She couldn’t get any more time off,
and the flat was feeling pretty empty. Ivy did leave me her most
precious possession. Her cockatoo. ‘Yes, yes yes’. She sounds
just like my Aunt.
GINA: I loved living with Kate, I was bit of a mess for a while but I
think I made up for it by helping her with the music software she
bought for her computer. She didn’t think Matt and she were the
best fit creatively, she’s recording the songs herself.
MATT: I was disappointed not to help out an artist. But it’s better in the
end if people help themselves. And really, the visual arts’ my
thing. I did end up buying that etching. The olds reclaimed the
Degas so I needed something to fill that wall. Short listing’s for
silk are next week. My odds are smaller than Kylie Minogue’s…
SIMON: I went back to Matt’s gym, he was always available to spot…
MATT: CBA!
SIMON: The Uni’s really excited about my PhD. It’s about the mind and
the Butterfly Effect. They’ve done studies on Buddhist monks
that show the more you focus on ‘loving kindness’, the larger the
area in your brain responsible for ‘loving kindness’ becomes.
There’s a thing called ‘The Global Consciousness Project’,
193 which has instruments at various locations round the world that
measure changes in human consciousness during global
events… Diana’s funeral, Obama’s election… I’m using their
equipment to investigate if changes being willed in individuals
in... well next door.. can will change on the other side of the
world. I’ve been invited to deliver a paper at the London Royal
Academy of Sciences. I’ve named it after moths.
GINA: I quit the surgical training scheme… and started a resident term
in psych. I became the lead referral for panic attacks. My
favourite time of the week is craft. I take in my pieces, and sit
beside the patients and we all just sew.
KATE: I still work at the café, coffee and muffin sales went up, then
back down again, but as I wrote today on the blackboard, we do
the ‘Best Coffee in the Black hole’. I’ve recorded four songs
already, including Circular Heart, which is the name of the
album. I’m pleased to say I sometimes have a crowd of sixteen
when I play on Sundays in that corner.
SIMON: I’m not sure if I’ll walk again, I’ll never stop trying. I went back
to Six Ways for the second time a few months ago…It was hard
to breathe for a while, I had a paper bag handy, but I lasted less
than a minute. I made myself go back the next week, and the
next, and the next, sitting for longer and longer each time. When
I could last ten minutes, I started going every day. And each
time, after my heart stopped pounding, I’d make myself think
194 about who I was before, who I am now, what I know now, and
who it’s given me the courage to be. I’m taking Kate out for
dinner tonight. I called her earlier today.
GINA, MATT and FRED step back.
SIMON puts his phone to his ear.
KATE’s phone rings in her bag.
She looks for it, then answers.
KATE: Hello.
SIMON: Hi.
KATE: How are you?
SIMON: Good. How are you?
KATE: Good.
Pause.
SIMON: Can I see you?
KATE: What for?
SIMON: I have a story to tell you.
KATE: What sort of story?
SIMON: A love story. Can I see you?
KATE smiles.
SIMON: (to audience) I’m going to tell her the love story of Simon and
Kate.
KATE pushes off, and wheels at speed over to him. Jumping onto his
lap, they kiss.
THE END.
195 CHAPTER NINE
Conclusion
With the writing and staging of my play Cohabitation, I concluded my practice-led research journey of placing a three dimensional character who was also a wheelchair user centre stage. It was my aim that, by the end of the play, the character would be remembered for his wit, humour, resilience and intelligence, rather than his means of mobility. Through careful consultation with the disability community and recruitment of an actor who was also a wheelchair user, I was able to construct a character who was engaged in the authentic, complex relationship struggles and life choices with which many people of his age and circumstance are challenged.
The production of the play in Sydney and the rehearsed reading of the play in New York gave me the opportunity to sequentially workshop and polish the script, which I feel is now ready to be sent to professional theatre companies nationally and internationally. I feel that my research, community consultation and audience interviews led to a rigorous script development process which might offer a model for other playwrights who wish to deal with issues pertaining to disability through drama.
It was an additional goal of mine to engage an actor who was also a wheelchair user in the role of Simon. There are very few roles specifically for actors who are also wheelchair users, and I was gratified by the response to the casting both in Sydney and in New York. As a Rehabilitation Physician, I was
196 particularly encouraged by the reaction of the audience, the disability community and theatre colleagues to the casting, and hope in some small way, that this casting decision will facilitate more opportunity for wheelchair users in the theatre in the future. I was delighted to learn as a result of his performance in the role of Simon in the Sydney production, the actor Anthony Masterson has been approached for film work (Malone, 2011). Finally, I hope that in the writing and staging of my play, I have made some small contribution to the broader dream of Australian Human Rights Commissioner Graeme Innes:
I have a vision of an arts and cultural sector where difference is celebrated and where people with disabilities perform and participate on an equal basis. A community in which people with disabilities are treated in the same way as all other members of the artistic and cultural community - not as heroes, not as victims, but as agents of our own destiny (Malone, 2007).
197 Appendix A
Theatre Companies for Persons with Disability
Graeae Theatre Company http://www.graeae.org/page/history
Australian Theatre of the Deaf http://www.ozdeaftheatre.com
Back to Back http://backtobacktheatre.com/
Ever After Theatre Company http://www.everaftertheatre.org.au/
Rawcus http://www.rawcus.org.au/
198 Appendix B
Television and Film Referenced in Exegesis
All Saints (Directors David Caesar, Malcom McDonald) 1998-2010
Angry Boys (Created by Chris Lilley) 2011
Be My Brother (Director Genevieve Clay) 2009
The Bone Collector (Director Philip Noyce) 1999
CSI (Created by Anthony E. Zuiker) 2000-
Desperate Housewives (Created by Marc Cherry) 2004-
Ed (Created by Jon Beckerman and Rod Burnett) 2000-2004
Four Weddings and a Funeral (Written by Richard Curtis) 1994
Glee (Created by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, Ian Brennan) 2009-
Hannibal (Directed by Ridley Scott) 1999
Judging Amy (Created by Amy Brennerman, Bill D’Elia, Connie Tavel) 1999-2005
Las Vegas (Created by Gary Scott Thompson) 2003-2008
Kingpin (Directed by the Farrelly Brothers) 1996
Me Myself and Irene (Directed by the Farrelly Brothers) 2000
Murderball (Directed by Henry Alex Rubin and Dana Adam Shapiro) 2005
Shallow Hal (Directed by the Farrelly Brothers) 2001
Summer Heights High (Created by Chris Lilley) 2007
There’s Something About Mary (Directed by the Farrelly Brothers) 1998
Training Day (Directed by Antoine Fuqua) 2001
Unbreakable (Directed by M. Night Shyamalan) 2000
199 The Waterdance (Directed by Neal Jimenez and Michael Steinberg) 1992
We Can Be Heroes: Search for Australian of the Year (Created by Chris Lilley) 2005
Weeds (Created by Jenji Kohan) 2005-
West Wing (Created by Aaron Sorkin) 1999-2006
Wild Wild West (Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld) 1999
X Men (Directed by Bryan Singer) 2000
200 Appendix C
Interviews
Elliot, Dale (2009) Wheelchair user and public speaker, Adelaide South Australia (via telephone; 30/5.)
McEwin, Alastair (2009) Former Chief Executive Officer People With Disabilities Australia. (In Sydney; 10/5.)
Masterson, Anthony (2009) Actor and wheelchair user. (In Sydney, 30/6.)
Muir, Jeremy (2009) Retired actor and wheelchair user. (Via telephone 18/8.)
Smith, Peter (2009). Writer and disability advocate. (Via telephone 20/6)
Strickland, Katrina (2009) Arts Critic Australian Financial Review (In Sydney, 7/10.)
201 Appendix D
‘Fred’ in January Draft
Fred: I was one of those pimply socially retarded College geeks who regarded himself as far too intellectual for first year Science and spent most of my time drinking black coffee and smoking my way through the freshman wanna be intellectual reading list: Goethe, Freud, Homer, philosophy, sociology, the Greeks. Scraped into second year, kept skipping lectures, but couldn’t miss labs, and by then moved onto smoking a bit of weed, and we were dissecting things by then so it was actually a bit of fun. Was slicing the brain of a snake one day and learnt about this tiny spot called the amygdala, which is about the size of pepper corn, and the spot in its brain responsible for processing fear; it’s as directly responsible for fear as eyes are for vision. Still reading and smoking and pseudo intellectualising far too much, and what myself and a bunch of like- minded comrades realised (he pretends to inhale) one long night was that even though the semantics were different, what all those guys were aiming for was the same-(as if listing groceries) happiness, freedom, peace, prosperity. And that the things that were keeping them from their perceived utopia-greed, anger, jealousy, perceived scarcity-could all be reduced to one thing: fear. How much do you know about how the human brain evolved?
Kate: I know that it did.
Fred: So…
Fred pulls out a brain scan, and points out the regions as he explains: starting at the centre of the brain, and finishing at the skull
Fred: It evolved in layers. The reptilian brain evolved first (centre), and then the mammalian brain on top of that, then the human brain on top of that (circles perimeter of scan near skull). So deep within our heads, our brains look pretty much the same as a snakes, and deep within that, is that tiny spot that processes fear, called the amygdala. So if you look at it, (he demonstrates on scan) it’s like, what, one percent of our brain at most? Why is such a small part of our brain, and our reptilian brain at that, allowed to exert so much influence? Why is so much of humanity governed by a peppercorn? And I’ve been studying fear ever since . Kate: And what have you discovered?
Fred looks down for a minute, then meets her eye again, and smiles.
Fred: That I’m scared of riding a bike
202 Appendix E
Gina Gets Grumpy
Gina and Kate
Gina: If she was rich, she could move to the W for four weeks, while a team of builders, pavers and plumbers build a ramp to her front door, put railings in her corridors and change her bath to a shower, which would give her almost enough time to interview and employ two full time nurses who then work one on one off to provide twenty four hour supervision, toileting and pressure area care, between electric bed positioning and doctors appointments. Otherwise it’s… Kate: You know she has an Advanced Directive Gina: I know. Kate: I thought that was supposed to prevent this sort of thing Gina: She doesn’t have a life threatening illness, she isn’t having a cardiac arrest. What would you have us do? Lace her jelly with Nembutal? Kate is aghast
Gina and Fred
Fred: She’s had to go onto a waiting list for a nursing home. What’s the big deal? Gina: Well waiting list for a nursing home means she might be there for three months. She’s blocking a bed Fred: Blocking a bed Gina: She’s not sick, not being actively treated… she’s blocking a bed Fred: Doesn’t that just mean you don’t have to look after her? Gina: I’ve spent six years studying how to look after people, not watch them waste away. And she’s taking a bed that could be being used by someone else. Fred isn’t really listening Fred: In what year did you study compassion at med school?
203 Appendix F
Edited Scene
Simon’s Bedroom Simon is on his computer Kate enters
Kate: Knock Knock Simon: I just got poked by Fred on Facebook Kate: Who’s Fred? Simon: I asked questions. He showed me a good time Kate: Mmm. Is he single? Simon: Ah…I think he might be, yeah Kate: And?? Simon: And what? Kate: Well, what’s he like? Simon: Yeah, he’s a good guy Kate: You think Shane Warne’s a good guy Simon: No, I think Shane Warne’s a great guy Kate: So? Simon: I don’t know. He’s… Smart, drinks beer, has a few issues with nasal hair and personal hygiene but don’t we all Kate: What sort of music does he like? Simon: … Beyonce, Brittany… Kate: Show me his profile Simon: I’m not going to show you..… Kate pushes him out of the way Simon: Fine. Kate: Is that a brain? Simon nods Kate: His profile photo’s a brain? Simon: He’s better looking on the inside Kate: Shame. Simon: You’re binning him because his Facebook photo’s a brain? Tough crowd Kate: Well, who does he think he is, Einstein? Simon: He’s a neuroscientist. As in, he studies the brain Kate smiles Kate: Set it up.
Simon could kick himself
204 Appendix G
Deleted Scene Beginning Act 2: Scene 2
Kate- Morning Simon- Hi Kate- How are you? Simon- Good Kate- Good He moves a little closer Simon- How’s it going? Kate- I’m not sure…. She sings UBD song: Kate- ‘Sometimes the road’s less of a frown, when you turn the map upside down’ Simon- It’s good Kate- I’m not sure. I quite like the lyric and quite like the tune but they seem a bit disconnected Simon- The lyric/tune disconnection Kate- Is very disconcerting. Simon smiles Kate- How are you really? Simon- Fine Kate- Sleep OK? Simon- I feel fine. Kate doesn’t believe him Simon- My name’s Simon, and it’s a year today since I last walked.
205 Appendix H
Deleted Comedic Scene
Gina enters, Fred is reading.
Fred: How did it go? Gina: I had a panic attack. Fred looks up Gina: I have never been so humiliated …. There I am, about to talk to a room full of people, WHO I KNOW, I show the first slide, Impairment, how friggin’ ironic, and I turn to the audience, and I can’t breathe! I mean, I can’t breathe!! And I think, shit. I’m having a stroke or an arrhythmia or something… Why the fuck are my lungs not working?!!.. And I start gasping for air… Gasping!! …(She gasps like she’s inhaled a peanut) … And then the convener comes forward, and I say, ‘Dial 000!’ !! Dial 000. Can you believe it!! I’m sooo humiliated. And then Simon comes over… Fred: Simon? Gina: O yeah, it gets worse. He’s there giving the ‘Here’s what it’s like to be a wheelchair user’ talk, and he’s just given his talk, and he’s shown his bag full of tubes and stuff, including his spare catheter bag which he keeps in a brown paper bag, and yeah, takes the catheter out, and holds the bag up to my mouth!! I’m like, ‘Call a friggin’ ambulance!!’ ‘You’re alright. Just breathe into the bag.’ And I start pushing the bag away, I’m wrestling with a guy in a wheelchair, and he’s ‘Just relax… You’re having a panic attack.’ Which is loud and clear as he says it close to the microphone so the WHOLE ROOM CAN HEAR!! And I’m, Are you serious??!! Twelve years of therapy, five years of Zoloft, two thousand dollars on NLP, one failed Toastmasters course and it comes down to this??!! I’ve never been so humiliated... What the fuck is wrong with me??!! I can’t even talk to a bunch of people with friggin’ disabilities!!! Pause Fred: Were you OK? Gina: No I wasn’t OK. I’m breathing into a paper bag for a catheter!! Pause Fred: Did you wet your pants? She flops beside him on the couch Gina: I just can’t believe it you know. What’s the friggin’ point? Pause Gina: And I broke a nail She shows him her left ring finger Fred: Ouch
206 Appendix I
‘My Venn Diagram of You’ Song
Balcony Kate is seated with her guitar She sings and plays ‘My Venn Diagram of You’ Occasionally she directs a line to one of the plants
If I am a circle, and you are one too What’s in our middle, is me and is you On top of each other, you’re my best friend Overlapping all over, see how we blend…
My Venn diagram of you My Venn diagram of you Combined area’s our union And where we overlap is called the intersection
I am a female, and you a guy, You are outgoing and I’m kind of shy Combined with each other, we have the same heart, We sleep in the middle, more one than apart
My Venn diagram of you My Venn diagram of you Combined area’s our union And where we overlap is called our intersection
I like cooked mushrooms, they make you gag You’re only kindness, I sometimes nag I wake up early, you stay up late But merge us together, we are soul mates
You read the papers, I watch TV I like black coffee, you drink green tea I have just three friends, you’ve sixty five But inside our circles, there’s no divide
My Venn diagram of you My Venn diagram of you Combined area’s our union And how we overlap is called our intersection
207 Mr Venn. Where are you now? I want to show all hypothetically possible logical relations between the finite collection of sets that is me and my other circle…they are infinite…
My Venn diagram of you My Venn of diagram of you Combined area’s our union And our big overlap is called our intersection
I love our union, your area’s mine Our heart shapes are circles, one of a kind For so many subsets, we’re one and the same Into each other, our soul’s counterclaim
My Venn diagram of you My Venn diagram of you Combined areas our union All our overlaps are called our intersections.
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