Established 1881 THE DAILY Your guide to Residence EXploration, pp. 9-14

WEATHER, p. 2 MIT’s Oldest and FRI: 70°f | 61°f Largest Newspaper Scattered showers SAT: 71°f | 60°f Chance showers tech.mit.edu SUN: 76°f | 61°f Sunny Established 1881

Volume 134, Number 31 Friday, August 22, 2014 Early MIT Proposal for Saferide Boston East Institute considers 84 Mass. Ave. rerouting Saferides Somerville pilot seen as successful; Harvard Bridge Cambridge West may be replaced Established 1881 By Katherine Nazemi groups. The GSC, IFC, and Panhel- lenic Association reviewed the pro- Students should watch for posal and, after discussions among changes to the Saferide schedule student leaders and within the com- this year as the MIT Office of Park- munity, created a counterproposal ing and Transportation works with that built on and modified MIT’s Beacon St. Hereford St. various student groups to finalize proposal. and implement new shuttle routes. The Office of Parking and Trans- Over the summer, the MIT Office portation is still communicating of Parking and Transportation sent with student groups, and while no Commonwealth Ave. out a series of recommendations for changes have been finalized yet, changes to the Saferide shuttle lines, Boylston St. looking for feedback from student Saferide, Page 7 Infographic by Anthony Yu

Professor Rob Miller is new East Reif accepts ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, invites Campus housemaster Established 1881 community to join him

has been named the dormitory’s MIT President L. Rafael Reif awareness of amyotrophic lat- tip [his five-gallon] bucket” of new housemaster. plans to be doused with icy eral sclerosis, better known as ice water onto him. He said in a “It’s a concentrated microcosm water on Killian Court today Lou Gherig’s disease. The chal- statement that “if multiple con- of the MIT culture and ethos,” Mill- at 11 a.m. He was challenged lenge, a dare to dump ice water traptions get built, [he’ll] seek er said in a statement, “and I’m re- by Harvard President Drew G. on oneself or donate $100 to volunteers to use them,” but ally looking forward to being part of Faust and MIT’s Edgerton Cen- the ALS Association, has raised that extra buckets will be avail- that.” ter, according to MIT’s official more than $41.8 million for that able regardless. Dean for Student Life Chris Co- Tumblr page. organization, according to The Reif plans to make a dona- lombo, East Campus President Jes- Those challenges are part New York Times. tion to the ALS Association in sica M. Parker ’15, and professor of the viral social media trend Reif has asked the MIT com- addition to being doused with Charles H. Stewart III, the chair of known as the ALS Ice Bucket munity to help him participate water. the search committee, all noted Challenge, which has raised by supplying a “contraption to —William Navarre Miller’s enthusiasm for the position. Miller has been recognized for his undergraduateEstablished teaching 1881and was a 2013 Margaret MacVicar Fac- CSAIL ulty Teaching Fellow. This fall, he Tsarnaev friend pleads guilty to Professor Rob Miller ’95 was is one of the instructors for 6.005, named East Campus’s new house- a software development class hun- master on Tuesday. dreds of students take each year. Miller replaces Tom and Kate obstruction, faces 7 years max Computer science professor Delaney, who became the East Robert C. Miller ’95, who lived in Campus housemasters in 2006. Prosecutors: Man sought to protect bombing suspect East Campus as an undergraduate, —Leon Lin By Jess Bidgood less than seven years for his client Massachusetts. It was found in a The New York Times but declined to provide further nearby landfill. details. Outside the court, he said The same day, April 18, Tsar- BOSTON — A college friend Kadyrbayev had made “an error naev and his older brother, Ta- In Short of the surviving Boston Marathon in judgment that he’s paying for merlan, are accused of shooting Online registration opens bombing suspect, who denied dearly.” and killing an MIT police officer for all students on Mon- last year that he hindered the in- Federal prosecutors say that named Sean Collier before lead- day, Aug. 25. vestigation into blasts at the finish in the days after the April 15, ing the authorities on a chase line of the race, changed his plea 2013, bombing, which left three that ended in Tamerlan’s death. Orientation for both to guilty on Thursday. people dead and more than Dzhokhar eluded the authori- freshmen and first-year Dias Kadyrbayev, 20, entered 260 wounded, Kadyrbayev and ties for another day before he graduate students begins guilty pleas to one count of ob- Azamat Tazhayakov, his room- was found wounded in a boat on Monday, Aug. 25. struction of justice and one of mate who was also a friend of in a backyard in Watertown, conspiracy to obstruct justice in Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s, realized Massachusetts. Grades for Summer Ses- federal court. that their friend was the bomb- Earlier this summer, Tazhay- sion classes must be sub- “Do you think you know ing suspect and tried to destroy akov was convicted of the same mitted by Monday, Aug. 25. enough to be able to plead evidence that might tie him to charges that Kadyrbayev faces, guilty?” Judge Douglas P. Wood- the crime. after about a week of testimony. The Advanced Standing lock asked. Kadyrbayev and Tazhayakov The jury heard testimony Exams for undergradu- Kadyrbayev took a deep are accused of entering Tsar- from several witnesses, includ- ates, the English Evalua- breath. “I think I do,” he said. naev’s dormitory room at the ing law enforcement agents and tion Test for international Ho Yin Au—The Tech In a plea agreement, federal University of Massachusetts Tsarnaev’s college roommate. graduate students, and Freshmen Pre-Orientation Pro- prosecutors said they would seek Dartmouth and removing a The jurors were told that it was other tests for newcomers grams (FPOP) started this week. no more than seven years in pris- backpack containing fireworks, Kadyrbayev, not Tazhayakov, who are next week. Here, members of the Class of 2018 on for Kadyrbayev. Woodlock will a laptop and other items. Sev- first discovered the backpack and created their own putty and learned not say whether he plans to ac- eral hours later, according to who disposed of it. Tazhayakov Send news information about biomaterials and polymers at cept the deal until a sentencing prosecutors, Kadyrbayev put was nevertheless convicted, sug- and tips to news@tech. the Department of Material Science hearing on Nov. 18. the backpack in a trash bin near gesting that Kadyrbayev’s defense mit.edu. and Engineering. Kadyrbayev’s lawyer, Robert the apartment he shared with team would have faced an uphill Stahl, indicated he would seek Tazhayakov in New Bedford, climb at trial.

PUZZLES PUZZLES TROUBLESHOOTING Giver doesn’t Roller Coaster SECTIONS World & Nation �����2 Somewhere on the Search for PUZZLES deliver THRILLS Opinion �����������������4 Meaning... is back! FUN, p. 6 Sudokus, Techdokus, The movie falls short of the REX begins at East Fun Pages �������������5 and a crossword. FUN SuperMOON book. ARTS, p. 8 Campus. NEWS, p. 7 Arts �����������������������8 p. 5 Biggest moon of the year. NEWS, p. 15 2 The Tech Friday, August 22, 2014 Fewer pass high school exams, D and some in England cheer On Ferguson unrest, poll LONDON — After years of complaints about declining standards for high school exams, the British government has made them harder to pass: The latest results show the shows sharp racial divide first drop in the passing rate in three decades. And in a na- tion where education has long been a political battleground By Tanzina Vega cold blood,” Felicia Irving, 28, a black.

worl between progressives and traditionalists, the changes are an and high school English teacher in Since Aug. 9, when Wilson shot emphatic victory for the old school. Megan Thee-brenan Hampton, Georgia, who is black, and killed Brown, protesters have

n Results for English 18-year-olds, released last week, The New York Times said in a follow-up interview to the marched just blocks away, some- showed that 52.4 percent earned the highest grades this year, poll. times peacefully, other times with down from 52.9 percent in 2013. And after 30 years of steadily A poll taken since a white po- Jean Smith, 75, a retiree in Hart- acts of violence. climbing passing rates for the A-level test, which determines lice officer in Missouri shot dead ford, Alabama, who is white, said The police have dressed in riot university entrance, the figure dropped slightly this year. an unarmed black teenager shows she could not determine “with just gear, driven armored vehicles on On Thursday, thousands of English 16-year-olds got their blacks and whites sharply divided two or three facts” whether the the streets, and used tear gas and results for a different exam, called the General Certificate of on how fairly the police deal with officer, Darren Wilson, had been rubber bullets. atio Secondary Education. The test is normally taken by 16-year- each group, along with a rising justified in shooting and killing The public is split over the po- olds, but younger students have been taking parts of it a year feeling, especially among whites, Brown. lice response, with equal numbers early, knowing that they can repeat it if they do poorly. that race relations in the country “To know whether it was justi- saying that the police have gone However, because of a rule change discouraging early test are troubled. fied, I’d have to know the whole too far and that their efforts have taking, fewer students took the test this year than in 2013. But when asked about their thing from beginning to end and been about right. But black Ameri- Because fewer younger students took the test, there was a own communities, members of look at it as objectively as pos- cans are nearly twice as likely as small statistical rise in the percentage getting passing grades each race say their relations with sible,” Smith said. whites to fault the police. in Thursday’s results. But as with the 18-year-olds, a smaller the other are good. The poll also shows significant The issue at the heart of the

& N proportion of the younger test takers got the very highest The latest New York Times/ differences in how blacks and unrest in Ferguson — the suspi- grades. CBS News nationwide poll shows whites view the unrest that has cion among some that a white po- Critics have long derided falling educational standards, most whites reserving judgment gripped Ferguson since Brown’s liceman was trigger-happy when often blaming them on “trendy” teaching methods. Parts of on whether the fatal shooting of killing. faced with a young black man — is the tests for 16-year-olds, though subject to external checks, the teenager, Michael Brown, in Most whites say they think also at the heart of what divides were sometimes graded by their own teachers. And if stu- Ferguson, Missouri, was justified. the actions of the protesters have black and white Americans. dents failed, they could simply retake them. Most blacks say it was not. gone too far, while blacks are An overwhelming majority of England is hardly alone among European countries in “Whether they robbed a store, more evenly divided. Thirty-eight blacks say they think that, gener- orld worrying about slipping standards, according to a report by pushed a man, or whatever the percent of blacks think the pro- ally, the police are more likely to the Oxford University Center for Educational Assessment. case may be, there are other strat- testers’ actions have been about use deadly force against a black When Norway, which spends generously on schools, was egies and tactics the police officer right, compared with 15 percent person; a majority of whites say ranked below average in an earlier study, it produced “PISA should use before excessive force W of whites. A vast majority of the race is not a factor in a police of- shock,” the report said, referring to the Program for Interna- and brutally killing someone in protesters in Ferguson have been ficer’s decision to use force. tional Student Assessment tests. “This led to newspaper headlines in the Norwegian press such as ‘Norway is a loser,’” added the report. It also noted criticism of the French government for using international comparisons “to justify its system reforms in recent years, Despite horror of Islamic State, with exaggerated statements to the media about France’s standing in the surveys.” In England, academics say, easier examinations were the result of worries that too few students were pursuing a higher Hill wary of US military expansion education. —Stephen Castle, The New York Times By Mark Landler that the Obama administration want Obama to do to intensify the The New York Times is weighing that, with the White battle. House and the Pentagon refusing Even conducting airstrikes in Family Dollar rejects takeover WASHINGTON — For weeks, to rule out military action against Syria would be a politically fraught Capitol Hill has watched U.S. mili- the group in Syria. step. bid by dollar general tary engagement in Iraq with quiet But far from satisfying Con- The last time the president unease. gress, a wider conflict could put sought to put military action in Family Dollar Stores on Thursday rejected an $8.9 billion Democrats and Republicans lawmakers, particularly Demo- Syria to a congressional vote — a takeover bid from Dollar General, citing “significant antitrust warily backed President Barack crats, in a difficult position, since missile strike after Syria’s chemi- issues” related to that offer. Obama’s limited airstrikes against most deeply oppose any new war cal weapons attacks last year — Instead, Family Dollar is holding firm to its earlier $8.5 bil- Sunni militants, but nobody — in the Middle East. he faced an overwhelming defeat lion merger deal with Dollar Tree, a smaller competitor in the aside from Sen. John McCain “Most Democrats and Repub- that he avoided only by seizing on deep-discount retail space. and a few fellow hawks — dem- licans are extraordinarily wary of an alternative Russian diplomatic The move sets up a potentially bruising battle for control of onstrated an appetite for deeper being sucked into a large occupa- proposal. one of the country’s biggest dollar discount stores, as retailers involvement. tion, both because it will kill a lot Little has changed in Congress seek to cater to America’s working poor. Raising antitrust as an Now, though, the gruesome of Americans and because we saw since, even if a vote to use military issue — as opposed to simply objecting to the price — suggests execution of American journalist in Iraq the last time that it didn’t action in response to an attack on that the target company plans to resist, since that defense James Foley has drawn a raw, emo- work,” said Rep. Adam B. Schiff, Americans would naturally draw could hurt any combination of the two down the road. tional reaction from lawmakers in D-Calif., a member of the House more support than intervening in a In its announcement on Thursday, Family Dollar brushed both parties, with many issuing Permanent Select Committee on distant civil war. aside accusations by Dollar General that its chief executive, statements condemning the Is- Intelligence. “This horrendous event has got Howard Levine, was uninterested in a deal because he might lamic State, the group responsible A growing number of Republi- a lot of folks in Congress talking,” lose his job. Instead, it focused on what it described as unac- for Foley’s killing, and some urg- cans are criticizing Obama for not Rep. Peter Welch, D-Vt., said of ceptable antitrust risk from putting together two of the biggest ing Obama to redouble the fight doing more. Foley’s killing, “but it doesn’t give dollar stores in the country. against it. But few of these Republicans us a license to ignore the lessons of —Michael J. De La Merced, The New York Times There were signs Thursday have laid out exactly what they George W. Bush in Iraq.”

Weather

130°W 125°W 120°W 115°W 110°W 105°W 100°W 95°W 90°W 85°W 80°W 75°W 70°W 65°W 60°W Summer to make comeback 40°N after cool weekend 1014 By Vince Agard will blow cooler ocean air over the STAFF METEorologist the coastal land region. 35°N Starting next week, however, the 1011 As summer comes to a close, the Boston area will see a return to sum- second half of August has been a bit merlike weather, as a broad high 1011 cooler than usual so far at the Insti- pressure system takes hold over the tute. While normal high tempera- northeastern United States. The 30°N tures for this time of year are around presence of high pressure will re-

80°F (27°C), temperatures observed sult in clear skies and calm or light 1010 at Logan Airport in Boston have not offshore breezes. These conditions exceeded 80°F since Aug. 17. This will result in a warm-up, with high 1017 trend of cool weather will continue temperatures returning to the upper 25°N into the weekend, as a weak low 70s and low 80s (°F). Combined with pressure system passes over New abundant sunshine, these tempera- England. This system will bring tures will allow for one more taste cloudy skies, scattered rain showers, of summer before the fall semester and a steady easterly breeze, which begins.

Extended Forecast Situation for Noon Eastern Time, Friday, August 22, 2014 Today: Mostly cloudy with scattered showers, high 70°F. Winds E at 5-10 mph. Weather Systems Weather Fronts Precipitation Symbols Other Symbols Snow Rain Tonight: Mostly cloudy, low 61°F. Winds E at 5-10 mph. Fog High Pressure Trough Tomorrow: Mostly cloudy with a chance of showers, high 71°F. Winds Showers Thunderstorm Warm Front NE at 5-10 mph. Light Low Pressure Haze Sunday: Sunny, highs in the upper 70s °F. Cold Front Moderate Compiled by MIT Hurricane Meteorology Staff Monday: Sunny, highs near 80°F. Stationary Front Heavy and The Tech nation world & nation world & nation world & nation & nation world & nation world & nation world nation Friday, August 22, 2014 The Tech 3 ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’ donations WORLD & Nati Secretary allows reprieve on for ALS top $41 million test-based teacher ratings With everyone from former President George W. Bush to Justin Bieber and Shakira posting online videos of themselves dumping buckets of ice over their heads in the name of charity, the viral “Ice By Motoko Rich promoted or fired. These laws were “They should stop requiring Bucket Challenge” continues to dominate social media and has The New York Times adopted in response to conditions the use of test scores in teacher now raised more than $41.8 million for amyotrophic lateral sclero- set by the Education Department evaluation altogether,” said An- sis, commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. Education Secretary Arne Dun- in the waivers it granted from the thony Cody, a former teacher and Donations to the ALS Association, a Washington-based non- can announced Thursday that No Child Left Behind law that a founder of the Network for Pub- profit that funds global research to find treatments and a cure for states could delay the use of test governs what states must do to lic Education, a political action the disease, have surged since the challenge started trending in late results in teacher-performance rat- receive federal education dollars. group. He added that the federal July. The group said Thursday morning that it had received $41.8 ings by another year, an acknowl- The test-based teacher evalua- government should have less say million in donations since July 29.That’s more than double the $19.4 edgment, in effect, of the enor- tions were also included as con- in how teachers and schools oper- million in total contributions the association received during the on mous pressures mounting on the ditions of Race to the Top grants ate. “Local school districts should year that ended Jan. 31, 2013, according to a filing with the IRS. nation’s teachers because of new that have been given by the Obama have autonomy to figure out how About 30,000 Americans now have ALS, which attacks nerve academic standards and more rig- administration. best to evaluate their schools, their cells and ultimately leads to total paralysis, though the mind re- orous standardized testing. Many teachers and parents say school districts and their teachers,” mains sharp. Life expectancy is typically two to five years from the WORLD & Nati Using language that evoked these laws force educators to nar- he said. time of diagnosis. The exact cause is not understood and there is no some of his fiercest critics, Duncan row their curriculums and spend Objections to test-based teach- cure or treatment that stops or reverses the disease. The flood of do- wrote in a blog post, “I believe test- too much time on test prepara- er evaluations have been building. nations will be transformative for finding treatments and a cure for ing issues are sucking the oxygen tion. At the same time, schools In 2012, Chicago teachers went on ALS as well as for providing support to people with the disease, said out of the room in a lot of schools,” have been scrambling to change strike in part to protest the inclu- Carrie Munk, a spokeswoman for the ALS Association. The group and added that teachers needed their curriculums to match the sion of standardized test scores in now supports 98 global research projects and recently announced time to adapt to new standards and Common Core, the new academ- their performance ratings. Even $3.5 million in financing for 21 others. tests that emphasize more than ic guidelines for what children those who originally pushed for In addition, the Ice Bucket Challenge has raised awareness of simply filling in bubbled answers should learn in math and reading the adoption of teacher ratings the disease, which the ALS Association said only half of Americans to multiple-choice questions. from kindergarten through high based on test scores have advo- were aware of about a month ago Over the past four years, close school graduation. These stan- cated slower implementation. “While the monetary contributions are so absolutely incredible, to 40 states have adopted laws that dards were adopted by more than In June, the Bill & Melinda Gates and we’ll be able to really make a considerable difference in moving tie teacher evaluations in part to 40 states but have been the subject Foundation, one of the country’s the mission of the ALS Association forward, the real fortunate part the performance of their students of increasing controversy. largest donors to education causes, of the Ice Bucket Challenge is the amount of awareness it has raised on standardized tests. Many dis- Critics of Duncan welcomed called for a two-year moratorium for the ALS cause in general,” Munk said. “It puts us in a whole dif- tricts have said they will use these his shift in tone Thursday, but they on states or districts making any ferent ballgame to find treatments and cures for this disease.” performance reviews to decide also called on him to go further personnel decisions based on tests The ALS Association said that it had received many celebrity on how teachers are granted tenure, than a simple one-year delay. aligned to the Common Core. contributions but would not disclose the donors’ names for confi- dentiality reasons. —Emily Steel, The New York Times WORLD & Nati US Supreme Court delays gay Death of Connecticut toddler left in car is ruled a homicide marriage in Virginia The death of a 15-month-old boy who was left alone for hours in a hot car in Connecticut last month has been ruled a homicide, the By Alan Rappeport clues about the court’s intentions. Carl W. Tobias, a professor at Connecticut state medical examiner’s office said on Thursday. The New York Times It was not a surprise; a month ago, the University of Richmond School After a six-week investigation, officials at the medical examiner’s the court made a similar decision, of Law, said that the Supreme office determined that the boy, Benjamin Seitz, of Ridgefield, had WASHINGTON — The Supreme saying that Utah was not required Court probably wanted to hear the died of hyperthermia because of environmental exposure. Court on Wednesday issued a last- to recognize the marriages of about reasoning of more appeals courts In the early evening of July 7, the police in Ridgefield received minute order delaying same-sex 1,000 same-sex couples while state before deciding to take a gay mar- a report about Benjamin’s death from the staff of Danbury Hospi- marriages in Virginia, less than a officials pursued appeals of a low- riage case. So far, every appellate tal, where the boy’s father, Kyle Seitz, had taken him after finding day before officials there were to er-court ruling that had allowed ruling has favored allowing gay him left alone in his vehicle on a day when the temperature reached begin providing marriage licenses the marriages to take place. couples to marry, and proponents 88 degrees. Seitz, the police said at the time, was supposed to have to gay couples. Opponents of same-sex mar- have won more than two dozen dropped his son off at a day care center, but, instead drove to work at on The move came a week after the riage praised the court’s decision victories in courts across the Unit- a Ridgefield computer technology company and left the boy in the federal appeals court that struck to block Virginia county clerks ed States. car for “an extended period of time.” down the state’s ban on same-sex from granting marriage licenses to Tobias said that split decisions Stephen Sedensky III, the state’s attorney in Danbury, said the marriage refused to delay the ef- gay couples. would be “difficult for the court to investigation into Benjamin’s death was continuing and declined to WORLD & Nati fects of its ruling, and it increased Byron Babione, a lawyer at Al- tolerate” on gay marriage because comment on whether any charges would be made. the pressure on the Supreme Court liance Defending Freedom, a con- of the national implications of the Earlier this summer, Seitz and his wife, Lindsey Rogers-Seitz, to address the issue when its term servative legal group that repre- issue. The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of set up a memorial blog and website for Benjamin, which seeks to begins in October. sented one of the Virginia clerks, Appeals, in Richmond, Virginia, raise public awareness about the dangers of leaving children alone “It is time for the Supreme said a Supreme Court decision ruled in July that same-sex couples in cars on hot days. On her blog, Rogers-Seitz wrote that she would Court to affirm what more than 30 would settle the confusion created could be legally married in Vir- not discuss “any theories of causation or responsibility” for what courts have held in the past year: by various court orders for and ginia. A group of county clerks ap- she called “these tragic events.” Marriage discrimination violates against same-sex marriage. pealed, but last week the appeals —Alan Feuer, The New York Times the Constitution, harms families “Virginians deserve an orderly court denied their request for a de- and is unworthy of America,” Evan and fair resolution to the question lay and said the marriages could go Eurozone economic expansion Wolfson, president of Freedom to of whether they will remain free to forward, beginning Thursday. Marry, said on Wednesday. preserve marriage as the union of The attorney general in Virginia, slows to crawl, survey shows The stay was outlined in a one- a man and a woman in their laws,” Mark R. Herring, a Democrat, has page document and provided no Babione said. refused to defend the state’s ban. PARIS — The eurozone economy is still expanding, but only fee- bly, according to a private sector report released Thursday that pro- vided further confirmation that the region’s fragile expansion was

only slightly better than outright stagnation. on The report, based on a survey of purchasing managers this month by Markit Economics, a data analysis company, showed that Two US Ebola patients are released by output barely rose in services and manufacturing. Markit said its composite output index slipped to a reading of WORLD & Nati 52.8 in August, from 53.8 in July. It was the 14th consecutive month Atlanta hospital that the figure exceeded 50, a level that signals expansion, but it was also the weakest showing this year. Markit said the pace was con- By Alan Blinder who arrived at Emory on Aug. 2 after able to give her the rest and recu- sistent with growth in the eurozone’s gross domestic product of just The New York Times being evacuated from Liberia, said peration she needs at this time.” 0.3 percent. at a news conference here Thursday Emory on Thursday defended The economy in the 18-country currency bloc was already run- ATLANTA — The two American morning, his wife at his side. its decision to admit Brantly and ning out of gas in the second quarter, according to a report last week aid workers who were the first pa- Writebol, who is from North Car- Writebol, saying that doctors had from Eurostat, the European Union’s statistics agency. That report tients ever to be treated for the Eb- olina, did not appear before report- learned information that would showed that the eurozone economy did not grow at all in the sec- ola virus at a hospital in the United ers on the Emory campus, which is “advance the world’s understand- ond quarter from the first three months of the year, as Germany and States have been released, capping near the headquarters of the fed- ing” of the virus while providing Italy contracted and France was stagnant. a transcontinental medical drama eral Centers for Disease Control and lifesaving aid. The area’s economy “remains too weak to encourage compa- that stirred public debate about Prevention. She arrived in the Unit- “It was the right decision to nies to take on staff in sufficiently large numbers to have a mean- whether any American with the vi- ed States three days after Brantly af- bring these patients back to Emory ingful impact on unemployment,” Rob Dobson, an economist at rus should have been allowed to ter she was flown, as he was, aboard for treatment,” said Dr. Bruce S. Rib- Markit, wrote of the latest figures. “August saw job creation slow to return. a private air ambulance to a military ner, the infectious disease special- near-stagnation.”

Emory University Hospital, base northwest of Atlanta. Brantly ist who oversaw the pair’s care at Nearly six years after the collapse of Lehman Bros., the eurozone on which admitted Dr. Kent Brantly had been working with Samaritan’s Emory. has still not been able to break with the legacies of the global finan- and Nancy Writebol to a special- Purse, a Christian aid organization, He added, “We always suspect- cial crisis. With the economy being held back by the weight of more ized isolation ward this month, said in Africa, where an Ebola outbreak ed that we had a good chance of than 18 million unemployed people and with credit contracting, the both were discharged after at least has claimed more than 1,200 lives. helping these patients survive.” European Central Bank has come under pressure to address a grow- W two weeks of treatment. Brantly Writebol worked for SIM USA, also The admissions of Brantly and ing threat of deflation. was released Thursday, the hospital a Christian aid group. Writebol had drawn pointed ques- The central bank in June cut its benchmark interest rate target to said, after Writebol was quietly dis- “Nancy is free of the virus, but tions, many of them online, focused just 0.15 percent, and announced other measures, including nega- o charged Tuesday. the lingering effects of the battle on whether they would spread the tive rates on deposits held by financial institutions at the bank. “I am forever thankful to God for have left her in a significantly weak- infection in the United States. But But with recognition growing that monetary policy can do only R

sparing my life, and I’m glad for any ened condition,” her husband, Da- doctors and public health officials so much, there have also been growing calls, including from Italy l attention my sickness has attracted vid Writebol, said in a statement. repeatedly said there was no risk to and France, for more leeway to use fiscal policy to restore demand, to the plight of West Africa in the “Thus, we decided it would be best the public, especially with the avail- in contradiction of EU rules on government spending. D midst of this epidemic,” Brantly, to leave the hospital privately to be ability of an isolation unit. —David Jolly, The New York Times 4

OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINION OPINIOn Opinion OPINION OPinION Tech The Feras Saad ’15, Aaron Hammond ’17. Sam Shames ’14, Andy Liang ’14, Fennessy ’14, Kristian A.J. Edelman ’14, Ryan Normandin ’13, Jacob Yost ’08, Keith London ’15;A. Editor: Staff: ’13,Casey Hilgenbrink ’15, Ray ’12,Shaena Hua Berlin Wu ’16. Kowch ’11, Roman G, Vince Agard Wing A. Allison William Navarre ’17; Meteorologists: Ibarra ’17, ’17,Omar ’17,Patricia Dominguez Z. Delmore ’15, ’17,Alexandra ’15,XinChen Janelle Mansfield ’14,Adisa Kruayatidee Isabella Wei Sara Hess G, Staff: Jaya Narain ’15; Holden ’14, Kath Assoc Xu ’16; Tushar Lin ’16, Editors: Leon News Kamath ’16, Andrew Swayze. ’17,Skanda Tareque ’17, Henry Helen Nie ’17, Koppula ’17, ’17,LandonCarter Aviles E. ’16, Rachel ’16, Sarah Liu Emily Kellison-Linn Priya Garg ’15,Ren ’15, Jared Sherry Wong ’15, L. 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Box 397029, Cambridge, Mass. 02139-7029, orsent by Hard copy submissions should addressed be to The , Tech are encouraged andshould sent be to [email protected]. thatnot necessarily ofthenewspaper. Electronic submissions bywritten individualsandrepresent theopinionofauthor, OPINION POLICY OPINION editorial. members choosing to publish theirdisagreement the with Hsiang, andOpinionEditor Jacob London. Annia Pan, Editor inChief Austin Hess, Managing Editor Judy bywritten Board, theEditorial which consists ofChairman Letters, columns, must andcartoons theauthors’ bear , editor Letters to the are board thesignedopinionsofeditorial Dissents areEditorials theofficialThe opinionof are. They Tech are are cartoons , andeditorial columns of the MIT orlocal community.of theMIT all theletters received. known.The becomes makesTech nocommitment to publish in any other format now ormedium knownorlater that onThe posted be ’sTech Web siteorpublished and/orprinted not returned.be will Letters, columns, mayand cartoons also submitted, all letters propertyOnce become of The , andTech TO REACH US REACH TO found ontheWorld Wide Web at http://tech.mit.edu shouldeditor sent be to [email protected] . that call forcorrection to [email protected] to the. Letters releases, requests forcoverage, andinformation about errors inchief byeditor emailing [email protected] press. Please send directed be will to theappropriate You person. can reach the whom to contact, mail send to [email protected], andit easiest way to reach any member ofour staff. If you are unsure are columns submitted by opinionarticles membersGuest The ’sTech telephone number is(617) 253-1541. Email isthe Friday, August 2014 22, The canTech be . 5 Fun fun fun fun fun Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun FUN FUN FUN FUN fun The Tech 30× 1 4 1 5× 6× 5 1 24× 4× 15× 1− 24× 18× 2 5× 24× 10× 48× 360× 6 9+ 72× 40× 360× 30× 24× 5 3− 12× 13+ 120× each of the numbers 1–6. Follow the mathematical operations for each box. each the mathematical operations for of the numbers 1–6. Follow each each of the numbers 1–6. Follow the mathematical operations for each box. each operations for the mathematical of the numbers 1–6. Follow each each of the numbers 1–6. Follow the mathematical operations for each box. each the mathematical operations for of the numbers 1–6. Follow each 90× 4 20× 1÷ 3 30× 2 12× 120× 48× 36× 30× Instructions: Fill in the grid so that each column and row contains one of column and row exactly Fill in the grid so that each Instructions: Instructions: Fill in the grid so that each column and row contains one of column and row exactly Fill in the grid so that each Instructions: Instructions: Fill in the grid so that each column and row contains one of column and row exactly Fill in the grid so that each Instructions: Techdoku III Techdoku Solution, page 15 Techdoku II Techdoku Solution, page 15 Techdoku I Techdoku page 15 Solution, 5 6 3 4 3 8 7 3 9 7 7 2 9 8 6 3 7 4 5 8 4 5 8 6 9 6 2 1 7 6 9 5 7 8 1 9 6 8 7 3 1 9 5 6 2 1 3

5 1 3 9 9 6 7 2 4 9 6

8 5 9 3 6 2 6 3 exactly one of each of the digits 1 through 9. one of each exactly exactly one of each of the digits 1 through 9. one of each exactly exactly one of each of the digits 1 through 9. one of each exactly

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Solution, page 15 Sudoku III

Solution, page 15 Sudoku II

Sudoku I Sudoku page 15 Solution, 22, 2014 August Friday, 6

Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun Tech The Somewhere ontheSearchforMeaning... by Jorge Cham by Randall Munroe SARCAS A 42 Puppy sounds 40 Toothpaste-endorsing 37 Brown-bags it 36 SomeGPSlines areas 34 Metropolitan 32 Univ. aides 31 Riverbed buildup 27 Greenish-bluehue 26 ClarkKent coworker 25 Listlessfeeling 23 Possible 2016 candidate 21 Israthertame 20 Philippe’s pal 19 Perfectly suited 18 Pacific weather 17 Low-lying land 16 Baseball greatGehrig 15 Lawyerdom 14 Toy boy Story 11 USNrank 5 Provisional 1 Inproximity ACROSS Solution, page15 Double Trouble WEBCOMI org. phenomenon M , MATH C

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Fall 2014, Mondays, 4-7pm E51-335 (pizza served) Full course (9 units), Pass/Fail only

No Prerequisites No previous experience expected All MIT students welcome

To reserve a seat, contact [email protected] More info:

Instructor: John Akula, Senior Lecturer in Law at Sloan

File Edit Options Buffers Tools Im-Python Python Help

import new_skills

def learnMarketableJobSkills(): return linux, OSX, javascript, applescript, perl, python

if you.interest == True: print "E-mail [email protected]"

----:----F1 joinTechno.py (Python)--L1--Top------8

Tech The and families. Stop by or visit • • • accounts tocreditcardsandloans,bybecoming amember atMITFCU youget: FederalMIT with easy is banking off, or campus On Union.Credit From savingsand checking Welcome, Students! Call: Join thefinancialinstitution exclusive to theMITCommunity. ArtsFederally insured byNCUA Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts Arts arts ArTS A disappointmentfor thebook’s fans The Giver Review Movie movie. Thanks plotadjustments, to certain arethey like to aged look teenagers inthe is, andkind ofbeing alittle bitfrightened.” “I’m scared,” kind ofknowing what scared takesBut didsome where thenIalso Isaid, [Noyce, thedirector]horrified.’ said, ‘Look acter said, ‘I’m scared.’ For takes, some Phil scenes.do takes oncertain In one, my char emotion, Rush responded: “We didhave to a character to whowasn’thave supposed askedWhen about thedifficulties of playing Rushand Odeya (Jonas’ Fiona). friend, Brenton(Jonas), Thwaites Lowry, Lois with about thefilm at a roundtable interview beautifully wove. thatof love Lowry’s andmemory so book the largerthe filmmisses emotional story plot, a new action-filled with the story drive The to . ByGames orDivergent trying Hunger than acopy ofotherdystopian movies like isthatthe sad truth islittle ThemoreGiver ately wanted to fallinlove themovie, with sophical ponderings. Asmuch asIdesper little does to inspireThe Giver any philo- why itwas formed. about truths hiscommunitystartling and ofthepast, realizesmemories andhesoon is assigned theonerous the task ofbearing At theannual Ceremony ofTwelve, Jonas trols theemotionsandactionsofitscitizens. utopiana seemingly community that con- follows Jonas, a12-year-old boy wholives in culture. andmodern society me wrestling complex questions about with vivid portrait ofadystopian community left had remembered. Its yet concise terrifyingly through amuch more intricate than book I again,book but Ifound myself reading fifth grade. In 11th grade, Ipicked upthe dren, Iread forthefirst The timein Giver While JonasWhile andFiona are 12 inthebook, I was, however, able to gain more insight Unlike thefilmadaptation thebook, of in1993, byLowry Written Lois The Giver chil - school manyLike so elementary 617-253-2845 |

Easy Friendly Convenient By T Staff Writer Staff account mitfcu.org today and learn how MITFCU is a solid financial fit for MIT students r Lee ara Click: and branches mitfcu.org | personalized access is justanother dystopian movie with and Visit: - -

our ATMs so futuristic. When Lowry wrote in thebook futuristic. Lowry When so I never envisioned that wouldlook the set read cellphonesbarely thebook, so existed, I only thinkthisway because whenIfirst thefilmandnovel. inboth to be Perhaps simple utopia that Jonas’ community strives machines, features futuristic the clash with holograms to automatic-wrist-injection corporation oftechnological devices. From any way to do.” process, were which they notobligated in at good including meintheentire very been and Ijust thought, ‘Swirling They’ve vortex?’ to Brenton, ‘You’ll enter aswirlingvortex,’ phrase,a terrible ‘swirling vortex.’ He said itout.took It waswhere ascene Jeff used the director, ‘She hates that line,’ andthey takenwentbeen out!editor The and told the next timeIsaw thescene, thelinehad that line,’ about onelinespoken by Jeff, and the first time. I murmured to myself,‘I hate where Jeff andBrenton for came together and the hadeditor showed me the scene there, to theediting letmego room, they Jeff and Brenton, [Bridges] but when I was therewith scenes the early filmed whenthey al foranauthor even asked. to be Iwasn’t didn’t always take my advice, but it’s unusu- my adviceonthings,” shesaid. “Now, they film’s production. presentwas indeed at multiple stages ofthe Medal-winning novelbery said that she andthefilm,book the author ofthe New- asmuchbring ofthecharacter aspossible.” play‘Don’t young.’ He just wanted meto nas. Philip, thedirector, told meat thestart: important to capture ofJo theinnocence - ligation to the character. In this film, it was am. It’s more ofacharacter study andanob- 25-year-old ThwaitesI “I amwho explained. ing filming. the age difference was acknowledged dur age romance, but Thwaites did insist that being to - the filmanother teeters close teen service Cambridge: 700Technology Square (NE48); Student Center(W20-116) A surprising element of the film is its in- “From thebeginning,always they sought thediscrepanciesDespite the between can’t“I change theway Ilook,” the mobile app, I’m In! online You can betoo. banking, - and Jeff Bridges andBrenton the community andcharacters cometo thenforfinallyseeing school, elementary watch themovie, ifnotforthe nostalgia of long.” So, it’s probably thing a good that it took so 18 years ago; hewould’ve young. too been He wouldn’thave able been to play therole itallthatwith time, but itnevermade. got acquired therights andstuck to thebook it 10 years ago! It was 18 years ago that Jeff ago, exclaimed, “Oh, Lowry I wanted to do made into amovie now andnot10 years the movie. asked When why was thebook Bridges, whoplayed therole ofThe Giver in ating the film now,being one of those Jeff technology. she saw Jonas inacommunity laden with so lic consciousness, andIcan’t imagine that 1993, theInternet was just entering thepub- If you’ve read andloved Lowry’s book, Nevertheless, there are still perks to cre- shared branch network Thwaites in star The Giver. money onthebook. money if you haven’t read, spendyour The Giver ly embodies theharrowed, Giver. wise But ing Jonas’ successful andBridges - journey, life. There are still touching moments dur R Skarsgård Alexander R T Brenton S Noyce by Phillip Directed T HH✩✩✩ ated PG-13 ated ush, Meryl S Meryl ush, tarring Jeff Bridges, Bridges, Jeff tarring he Giverhe Friday, August 2014 22, hwaites, Odeya Odeya hwaites, treep and and treep eTh s Wein tein Company - Friday, August 22, 2014 The Tech 9 THE DAILY

Your guide to Residental EXploration who’s now building in our courtyard Welcome, Class of 2018! The following events were submitted to The Tech by dorm representatives. 11:00 11:47—EAsT camPUS by tuesday-- it’s like friday at this Friday, 18:00 point August 22, 2014 18:19—EAsT camPUS it’s transparent, smells like nothing, 12:00 09:00 and might be water 12:07—EAsT camPUS 09:30—EAsT camPUS 18:35—EAsT camPUS hey, i saw this poster in the infinite when it’s inspected, maybe we want “maybe we bought 2000 dollars of in like may, roller coasters weeee!!! more than one person awake that water” 12:49—EAsT camPUS day it was sharpie handwritten-- i 19:00 called the number on it, i got him, i 10:00 19:10—EAsT camPUS explained the situation, he said “im 10:34—EAsT camPUS as long as less than three people get your man” i got this in kentucky, in a store that mono... was called “party city” “so not like 13:00 the normal party city” “like a better 20:00 13:13—EAsT camPUS version of the normal party city?” 20:59—EAsT camPUS now he has a fake name and is “like a party city that’s a liquor store” “meet me in 35-4 women’s bath- somehow a roller coaster engi- 10:50—EAsT camPUS room STOP bring hard hats STOP” neer, which i’m pretty sure isn’t a “i emailed the fbi this morning, i profession don’t know about you” 21:00 13:17—Random Hall Dumpling Hylomorphisms: Ana- 21:00—Burton Conner 11:00 morphism -- the building up of a Moat Watch: Come stare at the structure. Catamorphism: the con- 11:28—EAsT camPUS moat in Kresge. It’s our only body sumption of a structure. Hylomor- should we just start complaining? of water (minus the river), and that phism -- both an anamorphism there’s certainly a lot to complain deserves looking at. Speeches on its and a catamorphism. Come learn about greatness will be delivered. the basic fold, or just perform a 21:01—EAsT camPUS metabolic reduction on food. 12:00 so then we took a selfie of us in a 13:59—EAsT camPUS bathroom 12:01—EAsT camPUS and if you search his name you get 16:00— build some highway overpasses Saturday, a wanted criminal Simmons Hall 12:39—EAsT camPUS Chalking: Chalking is a Sim- one inch bolts August 23, 2014 14:00 mons tradition, with chalk-able surfaces all over the entire dorm. 13:00 02:00 14:00—MacGregor 17:18—EAsT camPUS Pick-up Sports: Play with our balls! Come join us decorate everywhere! the only place that will not turn 13:15—EAsT camPUS 02:02—EAsT camPUS We have basketballs, footballs, soc- 16:00—Simmons Hall them down will be a wanted crimi- my complaint is the freezy pops she showed up in proper PPE-- and cer balls, and frisbee(ball)s. Sword Fights: Medieval tournament nal under a false name: here’s to won’t goddamn freeze a bra 14:00—Burton Conner with foam swords. Rules simple. midlife crises 13:45—EAsT camPUS 02:59—EAsT camPUS Relive your childhood PE days, or Fence until ‘ARHGHHGH’. Bloody, 17:30—MacGregor did you break the freezer yet? yeah it we have the technology just make a huge mess tossing toilet yes, only finest warriors for Sim- Blanket Fort Engineering: Conas- refridgerates #thankyouDSL paper around! mons. Or chill and nom ice cream. truction of a softer nature. All OK. GRRRAHHHHRGGG 14:00—Burton Conner 14:00 03:00 Dance Central: I like to move it, 16:00—Simmons Hall 18:00 14:11—EAsT camPUS 03:17—Random Hall move it. You like to move it, move it. Ice Cream!!!: Om nom. Nom nom. Yum. Pass the sprinkles. 18:00—Next House she did not invite me to her house, RHOP: Random House of Pancakes! We like to move it, move it. Burton Grilled Cheese Factory: Hungry af- but she was very glad to see us. “so Is it early, or is it late? All we know is Conner likes to MOVE IT! 16:17—Random Hall ter a long day of travel? Come have by bonded...” “you mean over the that we have delicious pancakes to 14:29—EAsT camPUS The Clam Olympics: The ancient a bite to eat and meet your new swingset” feed you. but he has a very very detailed re- tradition of the Olympics began neighbors! Nexties are gloriously sume on linkedin with the Greeks. This year the Olym- good at making Grilled Cheese. pics are being held in Random Hall. 15:00 09:00 18:17—Random Hall 15:00 Come compete in the Clam Olym- 15:29—EAsT camPUS 09:00—Burton Conner pics and attempt to bring home a Psi Phi Short Stories: Come enjoy will trade 55 gallon flame retardant Run With Me: Just keep running. 15:00—Burton Conner medal! We’re totally licensed by the science fiction short stories with for lube Just keep running. Just keep run- Edible Board Games: Come play IOC. awesome people! Have requests in ning, running, running. What do we and eat Chocolate Chess, Banana- mind, or just be ready to be intro- 16:00 do? We run. Run. For ~3 miles. 16:47—Random Hall duced to new authors and stories. Grahams, Settlers of Catan Pizza, DDR 2048: 1024, 512, 256, 128... and more! 18:29—EAsT camPUS 16:12—EAsT camPUS 10:00 What’s better than 2048? 2048 with he is literally stepping stoning us DDR pads! Race against your friends have we heard from him since? no 10:00—Maseeh Hall 16:00 to make the biggest number in your 18:30—Burton Conner 17:00 We’ll help move all your stuff into 16:00—MacGregor favorite tile-merging puzzle game, Mafia: Come play Mafia the classic 17:49—EAsT camPUS your new dorm room =)” Play with Wood: Get an early now with 100% more footwork. game of deception. No prior experi- all students must be equipped with 10:02—EAsT camPUS start on your Course 1/2/4/11 16:48—EAsT camPUS ence lying required! a one inch bolt at all times can we talk about the homeless guy aspirations “maybe he just made the whole thing up” “he did a very good job” 19:00 19:00—Next House 17:00 TFL Movie Marathon: Exactly what 17:00—Next House it says on the tin. We have a large se- Next Make Binary Clocks: Get nerd lection of movies, and an even larg- cred by soldering your own digital er TV and sound system, so come clock. Not just any clock - one that relax at Next House! tells time in binary. No experience 19:00—Maseeh Hall with soldering or reading binary re- Show off your sleuthing skills with a quired - we’ll teach you. high stakes* game of mafia. Snacks 17:00—Simmons Hall provided! Grill, Fill, and Chill: Get some pro- 19:00—MacGregor tein after that helzadope sword fight Dessert for Days: Get your blood you just had, or join us for the first sugar high for the rest of REX with time to eat delectable burgers (veg- chocolate fondue, brownies, and etarian options available). Meet us more. on the super huge and totally func- 19:03—EAsT camPUS tional stairs in front of Simmons. i’m betting it’s secretly steve altes 17:00—Burton Conner #stevealtes2014 Make Your Own Froyo: But 19:17—Random Hall actually... Epic Mealtime of Destiny: Sauce 10 The Tech Friday, August 22, 2014 Boss? Check. Bacon strips? Check. as we rewrite that happy but overly candy, and whipped cream. Heck, Epic levels of Epic? Check. Come sentimental epilogue of the super- eat them all at the same time! down to prepare the most gargantu- epic Harry Potter series. an dessert you’ve ever feasted upon. 23:30—Burton Conner 10:00 Oh yes, there will be bacon. BC BBQ: Enjoy burgers and snacks 10:00—Maseeh Hall while chatting with real-life BC resi- We’ll help move all your stuff into 20:00 dents about the dorm. your new dorm room =) 20:17—Random Hall 23:34—EAsT camPUS 10:00—Simmons Hall Chemistry and Cake: Cake is yum- like two weeks ago i made like a post Cooking with Kate: Let your culinary my. Chemistry is fun. Come eat on tumblr it was like some dumb shit side loose! Kate needs some sous- cake and learn chemistry and about 23:57—EAsT camPUS chefs to help her make some awe- course 5! i’m so glad that some video game some food! 20:29—EAsT camPUS didn’t like cave to pressure and like 10:31—EAsT camPUS will you toss me the jar of cherries include female characters i looked it up with google-- thanks and the chopstick google 20:30—Burton Conner Sunday, 10:47—Random Hall Harry Potter Erotic Fan Fiction: “I August 24, 2014 Ceiling Tile Painting: Fancy yourself feel like a Hungarian Horntail” Nev- the next Michelangelo? But don’t ille whispered into Hermione’s ear 00:00 want to lie on your back while paint- “And I need to find a cave to...” 00:00—Next House ing the Sistine Chapel? Come leave 20:30—MacGregor Next Hoenn: Calling all Pokemon your mark on Random’s ceiling Sticky S’mores: Hot sticky fun with trainers! Team Magma and Team instead! way too many marshmallows. Grab Aqua are recruiting! Sign up at bit.ly/ of the day? Come join some upper- 16:00—Next House some then go watch a movie! nextmagma or bit.ly/nextaqua, and 11:00 classmen for awesome playground Call of Duty: Dorm Warfare: [Radio] bring a QR Code scanner to Next 11:07—EAsT camPUS games! Nerf gun ready. Two targets ahead, 21:00 House. There are 202 Hoenn Poke- she says, there’s a hundred names 13:00—New House pick one, I’ll take out the other. Tar- 21:00—MacGregor mon out and about; can you catch here and starts listing them-- first Snowball Fight: Living on the East get eliminated. This is a live action Must See Movies: Watch all the mov- em all? names: steve “steve?” steve l. e. e. b. Coast for the first time and excited video game. This is also a dorm tour. Come and have fun as you battle ies you ought to have seen already. 11:30—Burton Conner for the snow? You don’t have to through the building of Next House. With blankets and snacks! 01:00 BC BBQ: Enjoy burgers and snacks wait till winter! Come experience 21:16—EAsT camPUS 01:01—EAsT camPUS while chatting with real-life BC resi- your first snowball fight in Cam- 16:20—Random Hall the fact that someone said oh yeah can we talk about parents using dents about the dorm. bridge! (Snow will actually be Clam Bake: Grab your favorite pot flour) and satisfy your munchies on Clam. the homeless guy in our courtyard the card readers “FINGER PRINT 11:30—MacGregor We’ve got the brownies, the hash and I thought of a different home- READER” their kids like “no it’s my Dye All The Things: Bleach and dye. 13:00—Baker House and more! less guy finger prints” Rinse and repeat. Learn how to Baker House tours! Leaving the 21:17—Random Hall 01:21—EAsT camPUS bleach t-shirts with custom designs lobby every 30 minutes until 5pm. 16:28—EAsT camPUS Storytime with Cruft: “Cruft, n.: (1) It’s an IRIS SCANNER and let us dye your hair crazy colors. 13:12—EAsT camPUS we are consistent in our absence An old piece of computer equip- 11:30—Next House he had all these funfacts about 16:30—Burton Conner ment, possibly useless, that keeps 03:00 Herbivores & Carnivores: We are beavers Rage Against The Machine: tech- hanging around. (2) An old alum.” nology while jamming to the Geto 03:01—EAsT camPUS combining Next’s legendary veg- 13:17—Random Hall Come hear stories from back in Boys? Now is your chance to vio- then we need someone at desk to etarian banquet with a MEAT-A- Karaok-tea: Come sing, listen, or the day, when things were more lently smash computers, TV’s, and buzz them in right then INTERCOM PALOOZA. Come rep your species! just snack and enjoy tea on Loop at hardcore. any other old stuff that we can find. CAMERA (Omnivores also welcome) our karaoke event! 21:32—EAsT camPUS Perfect for releiving stress, getting 03:03—EAsT camPUS 11:32—EAsT camPUS 13:47—Random Hall we can take him off the list, we can’t big, or doing your part to prevent wrestle in ramen, cooked in flame YES STEVE, send our deductible to Liquid Nitrogen Truffles: Tired take him off the hall the impending robot apocalypse. retardant him of boring old chocolate? Come to 21:59—EAsT camPUS Random Hall and try our truffles 03:12—EAsT camPUS 11:39—EAsT camPUS 17:00 so what about this homeless kid? with flavors ranging from raspber- “the most expensive water ever” “re- can you dig it he’s doing quite a bit of work.* ry to pink lemonade to wasabi. That 17:00—Simmons Hall sell it as holy water” 12:00 still too boring for you? Then freeze Simmons Build: There’s a lot of 22:00 03:17—Random Hall your truffles in liquid nitrogen! times this event shows up. (Come RHOP: Random House of Pancakes. 12:00—Next House build stuff!) 22:00—Burton Conner The Next Big Thing: Sneak Preview! Why are we up this late? To feed you 14:00 17:00—Simmons Hall Wholock Marathon:Come chill in pancakes of course! Pancakes pan- 12:00—Simmons Hall 14:00—McCormick Hall Grill, Fill, and Chill (with Will!): the floor lounge and enjoy a night cakes pancakes pancakes pancakes Simmons Build: Trojan ducks and Picnic: Grab some watermelon and Same thing (burgers). Same place full of fabulously snarky British TV. pancakes pancakes. Wow, pancakes chariots. While supplies last. (We’re lemonade and relive your child- (the super huge and totally func- 22:00—Maseeh Hall is a really weird looking word. entering the war in style; come help hood with hopscotch, football, or tional stairs). Wanna explore a bit of the Boston us build.) frisbee! 17:00—McCormick Hall night? Join us in the Maseeh lobby 04:00 12:00—Simmons Hall and we’ll show you some of the city. 14:00—Burton Conner Taste of Cambridge: Try a variety of 04:05—EAsT camPUS Eating with Kate: Well, now we have Frozen yogurt the size of your face Dance Central: I like to move it, foods from local restaurants. We’ll on the phone with home depot, your all this food. Come help us eat it! included! move it. You like to move it, move it. have Indian, Italian, Chinese, and total is 4000 12:04—EAsT camPUS more! 22:00—Simmons Hall We like to move it, move it. Burton can we talk about the woman at Conner likes to MOVE IT! 17:17—Random Hall Wub Wub and Wings: Play Super 08:00 home depot who recognizes me “oh 14:12—EAsT camPUS The Face-Off: Think your face is Smash Bros, eat some wings, and lis- i have that but with Kappy’s” ten to Dubstep. Sounds like a great 08:00—Simmons Hall beaver facts from home depot chris: funnier than the rest? Do you want night. Welcome Breakfast: Most important 12:17—Random Hall that would be such a good twitter 1. to prove that you can make the best meal of the day, serving it up....Sim- How to Not Starve: Pasta-related faces this side of the Mississippi? 22:00—Simmons Hall i got bit by one last week 2. some- mons’s way! Things: Rice, pasta, ramen... boring, You’ll face off against other fresh- Sporcle Party: Because we all know times their teeth are orange bland, staple starches. Or are they? men, and one of you will be judged we want to. 08:30—Next House 14:30—MacGregor Next Breakfast: To-go breakfast Learn how not to starve by making the winner. 22:03—EAsT camPUS Carnivale: Cotton candy, hot dogs items will be available in the lobby. something in a pot that doesn’t taste 17:30—Burton Conner does the cat have rabies? the cat or and burgers, a dunk tank, a bouncy Start your day right! Dino Fact of the like cardboard. Giant Paper Airplane Drop: Fold duncan? castle, and dogs. If there were any Day: A T-rex could swallow up to 500 12:30—Next House more things in this event, well, we’d some paper airplanes and we’ll 22:39—EAsT camPUS pounds of meat in one bite. Next Sustain Tree-Climbing Tours: be out of money. launch them all at once from the BC wean the cat off human blood See campus from the treetops! Climb 14:47—Random Hall penthouse. 22:52—EAsT camPUS trees from outside Building 6 to Next 09:00 Physics and Coffee: Our theory 17:55—EAsT camPUS wait another homeless guy in our House and talk about sustainability 09:00—Simmons Hall holds that in a physics lecture, stu- “if two people have ideas, we courtyard?? we have multiple (and anything else) with a friendly Simmons Build: Build stuff at Sim- dents exist in the lowest energy should use both” okay, way to waste Next Sustain guide. 23:00 mons. It’ll be a blast! (Help us pre- state. However, bombardment by your vote pare for the water war, or just build 12:47—Random Hall a caffeine ray with stimulation by Boffing on the Roofdeck: Arm your- 18:00 23:02—EAsT camPUS to your heart’s content.) advanced physics topics causes ex- self with a weapon wrought of foam it’s like star trek meets threesomes 09:00—Burton Conner citation. Come test our thoery and 18:07—EAsT camPUS and tape, and strike with the fury of Run With Me: Just keep running. Just enjoy caffeine, sweets, and physics. did you mean to remove everyone 23:14—EAsT camPUS a thousand tigers! FOR THE GLORY keep running. Just keep running, from the rush list? yep. i had been sh!t-faced all day. “she’s OF RANDOM HALL! not winking in these ones...” running, running. What do we do? 15:00 18:59—EAsT camPUS 23:17—Random Hall We run. Run. For ~3 miles. 13:00 15:00—Simmons Hall *and then i removed everyone from Harry Potter and the Headless Weas- 09:30—MacGregor Otter Pops: Biatches, we have just-a-little-bit-of-parallel so they 13:00—Simmons Hall leys: New magic. Headless Ron. Hor- Flapjack Festival: Pancakes hot off freezepops. were responding to just me-- haha Game Night: What’s a better time to rified Harry. Rising darkness. Join us the griddle, along with bacon, fruit, 15:00—Simmons Hall sorry sucker. better luck next year have game night than in the middle Frisbee: Stretch your legs after a long flight (or a not so long drive) to 19:00 MIT - and meet some new friends! 19:01—EAsT camPUS 15:19—EAsT camPUS i hate east campus so much some- we haven’t had a capped freshman times. what is wrong with us? in like two years, i think 19:30—Simmons Hall 15:30—Burton Conner Scavenger Hunt: Come enjoy a huge Giant Snickers Bar: Let’s make a gi- scavenger hunt through a building ant snickers bar. And then eat it. that makes no logical sense. 19:30—Senior Haus 16:00 BBQ And Tireswinging 16:00—Next House 19:30—New House Next Service Cookies for Charity: C Gaming & Nail Polish: Challenge is for Cookie, is that good enough Desmondites in Super Smash Bros. for you? It’s good enough for Next- or debate the merits of your favorite Service! We will be baking cookies game. Want to also have nice-col- and donating them to a homeless ored nails while using the control- shelter for their Sunday night des- lers? We’ll also have our public col- sert. There will be enough for any- lection of polish available for your one that comes to help, too! use if you so desire! Friday, August 22, 2014 The Tech 11 19:30—Simmons Hall 21:00—Burton Conner 01:00 our glorious flags, we also need to with your favorite ice cream and our Simmons Build: Cause we need Pole Dancing decorate our shields. Paint some famous homemade fudge! help when we screw up. (Aren’t the 21:12—EAsT camPUS 01:12—EAsT camPUS shields with us! 16:00—Senior Haus wheels supposed to go underneath i neglected to cast my ballot into the we figured out the sign is hung at 14:00—Burton Conner Story Time the chariot?) pointless poll. “that’s okay, fascism eye level “i think it really sums up Henna Tattoos: Afraid of the heavy east campus” 16:00—McCormick Hall 19:30—MacGregor worked out” “we were expecting it metal in prison tattoos or just never Playground Games: Come draw with Liquid N2: -200°C: Cold as hell! Try to be eastern european democracy” 02:00 been to prison? Not quite sure that sidewalk chalk, throw around a fris- the frozen candy bars, play with 21:47—Random Hall you want that butterfly tattoo per- bee, or just lay in the grass and cloud balloons, and smash things (prefer- Settlers of Catan: Come play (al- 02:05—EAsT camPUS manantly etched on your skin? watch! ably non-living)you don’t like. most) life-sized Settlers of Catan! “we follow through with our prom- 14:00—MacGregor 16:00—Simmons Hall 19:32—EAsT camPUS Hoard (and eat) marshmallow ises” east campus is a place of Water War: The Armament: You’ll Boomerang Ultimate: Instead of a it’s just not hard to be a reasonable “sheep,” pretzel “wheat,” oreo “iron,” dignity need weapons if you’re going to Frisbee, we have boomerangs. Will it person and graham-cracker “bricks”! Trade fight. Craft your custom shields, 03:00 work? We can’t quite remember. But 19:45—Next House them with your neighbors or foil swords and ranged weapons. don’t worry, it’ll come back to us. Capture the Cardboard: Nerf guns! their plans. Build roads, villages, 03:59—EAsT camPUS 14:00—Simmons Hall 16:17—Random Hall Chaos! What more could you want? and cities! we will remove the cockroaches Flag Making: With the imminent Duct Tape Construction!: What can when you do water war tomorrow, we need to you use to close an open wound? 20:00 22:00 show our Simmons pride! Help us Duct tape! What’s great when your 08:00 20:00—New House 22:00—Next House make a beautiful flag to represent shoe starts falling apart? Duct tape! Origami + Make Your own Cookies: Next Make Binary Clocks: Get nerd 08:00—Simmons Hall our wonderful sponge. What comes in many colors and can We have paper, cookies, and fresh cred by soldering your own digital Breakfast Dinner: Stayed up all 14:00—Das Deutsche Haus be used to create something entirely fruit to combat your sugar overload! clock. Not just any clock - one that night? It’s time to break the fast German Victory Pretzel Making: new? Duct tape! Come fold anything from a paper tells time in binary. No experience since we stopped eating ice cream Come celebrate Germany’s World 16:20—EAsT camPUS airplane to a modular piece to a with soldering or reading binary re- sandwiches at 3AM. Join us for Cup win with some traditional Ger- it’s definitely because we show up dragon! quired - we’ll teach you. breakfast! (or dinner!) man food and German music! dressed like heathens NAKED WA- 20:00—Maseeh Hall 22:00—MacGregor 08:00—New House 14:00—Senior Haus TER WAR Too cool for Apples to Apples? We F.E.A.R.: Halloween is 2 months Continental Breakfast: Looking Haus Tours 17:00 got you. Cards Against Humanity. early. Eat candy and watch scary for breakfast or a bedtime snack? 14:17—Random Hall Come play. horror games in the dark. Craving delicious smoothies and Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream: Some 17:02—EAsT camPUS can we fill water balloons with fire 20:00—Next House 22:00—Senior Haus waffles? Not enough bacon in your possibilities (pick 3): I scream, you Philosophy and Coffee diet? The friendly residents of New scream, we all scream for 77 Kel- retardant “just like a couple so it’s Make-Your-Own Pizza: You make it, like roulette” we bake it, you eat it. 22:00—New House House will be serving up breakfast, vins. Served steaming cold. Some 20:00—McCormick Hall PowerPoint Karaoke: Remember​​ so come get some! like it hot; some like it sub-zero. 18:00 Fondue!: Melted chocolate and that one time you had that pre- Sure you’ve had ice cream before. plenty of fruit and sweets to dip, sentation due NEXT PERIOD and 09:00 But now you’re at MIT. It’s time for 18:09—EAsT camPUS what’s not to like? Come check out threw together random pictures 09:00—Maseeh Hall the real stuff. could you not talk about facebook for the Boston skyline from our pent- on a PowerPoint and presented it Ready for a day of REX? Come stop 14:39—EAsT camPUS a day? is it possible? could it happen? house at our famous fondue night! to a room full of people? Experi- by the castle for a breakfast of ba- are they mono-oranges? “yes. yesterday.” 20:17—EAsT camPUS ence PowerPoint Karaoke, which ​ gels, pastries, and fruit before you 18:30—Burton Conner i would rather pay 15 dollars to nev- has you give a presentation they’ve head out! 15:00 Bananagrams and Banana Splits: er see any of these on a shirt never seen bef 09:30—Next House 15:00—Senior Haus Can you beat us in bananagrams? 22:56—EAsT camPUS Next Breakfast: To-go breakfast BarbieQ We think not. But come play with us 20:17—Random Hall anyways while eating banana splits! Math and Tea: Math is beautiful, it was like bullshit art phrases like items will be available in the lobby. 15:00—Burton Conner cookies are sweet, tea is tasty, and “je ne sais quoi” and “pokemon” Start your day right! Dino Fact of Tea and Tattoos: You are cordially 18:30—iHouse S_3 acts on these statements in a the Day: Mary Anning, a 19th cen- invited to the quintessential Brit- Barbecue Dinner non-trivial way: come enjoy math, 23:00 tury palaeontologist, survived be- ish tradition of enjoying tea in the 18:30—MacGregor tea, and cookies with us. 23:00—Maseeh Hall ing struck by lightning at 15 months odd hours between dinner and La La Luau: Eat tropical fruit and 20:17—Random Hall Chipotle burritos. Come hungry. old, and was revived in a bath of hot supper. Did we mention we’ll have barbecue, get lei’d, and empty out an Applied Knot Theory: An introduc- 23:00—Next House water. tattoos? ice cream truck. Ahh, the nostalgia. tion to the art of tying knots and Karaoke & Boba: Boba! Karaoke! 09:30—Burton Conner people in practical and ornamental Nuff’ said. IATFB: “I Ate This eF- ways. Our knowledge of knots is not 23:17—Random Hall fin Breakfast” and/ for naught. I can knot understand Rocky Horrible’s Singalong Blog: or “I Assembled how anyone could knot be excited. Have beloved memories of Dr. This Fantastic 20:30—Burton Conner Horrible? Not after this event, you Breakfast” Resistance: You’ve made some won’t. Come join us in yelling ob- friends, but are they trustworthy? scenities at a perfectly nice Sing- Exercise your shady side while play- Along Blog that has done absolutely ing this mafia-like strategy game. nothing to deserve it. 20:47—Random Hall 23:58—EAsT camPUS Bonfire Jazz Lounge: There will i’m sorry that you’ll never be 21 be jazz. Classy jazz. There will be cheese. Fancy cheese. What more Monday, could you want? August 25, 2014 21:00 00:00 21:00—Simmons Hall 00:00—Next House Ice Cream Sandwiches: Om nom Next Hoenn: Calling all Pokemon nom. trainers! Team Magma and Team 21:00—Simmons Hall Aqua are recruiting! Sign up at bit. Board Games: Meet some of your ly/nextmagma or bit.ly/nextaqua, 10:00 new classmates through friendly and bring a QR Code scanner to 10:59—EAsT camPUS competition! There will be games Next House. There are 202 Hoenn the walker airspace is a no-fly zone and more ice cream sandwiches Pokemon out and about; can you 15:01—EAsT than you’ve ever seen before. Play catch em all? 10:59—MacGregor camPUS Official Assembly TM: This is a man- games and chat with your fellow 00:00—Burton Conner they suggest that he should datory event that you definitely have MIT students. Meet us in our Din- Slenderman: He’s coming for you... take more responsibility “whoa to go to, if you get what I mean. ing Hall. A scary live-action game based on WHOA whoa whoa” 21:00—La Maison Française the popular horror video game. 11:00 15:17—Random Hall We like games. You like games. 00:00—Senior Haus CS and Juice: Bobby is at Shaw’s, 18:30—New House Come play games! Board games, Smoke Rings and Other Things 11:01—EAsT camPUS picking the optimal set of juices. He Movie Night: Come relax, eat end- card games, video games. All of are they on hiatus, or closed for 00:01—EAsT camPUS can’t buy pomegranate juice without less popcorn, and be entertained at them are games. We have them. good? yes. he asked me what year i was born something sweeter to mix it with, but House 2’s Monday Movie Night. Milkshakes, smoothies, and cook- with and i answered and he said if he uses orange juice, he won’t buy 18:30—New House ies are not games. We have them 12:00 whoa WHOA whoa orange mango as well...uh oh. Bobby Waffle S’mores and Smoothies!: anyway! 12:09—EAsT camPUS smells a boolean satisfiability prob- Check out Desmond while munch- prologue: but i’m paying 2000 dol- lem to solve. ing on waffle s’mores! The best part: you can wash down the marshmal- lars, so then she goes into joe’s office 15:30—Next House low and chocolate/nutella-y good- anyway BEWARE THE ICE AGE: Liquid Ni- ness with delicious fruit smoothies! 12:30—Simmons Hall trogen Ice Cream World Famous Housemaster Break: 18:30—Simmons Hall Join us for a Simmons tradition. 15:30—MacGregor Terrace Picnic: Simmons has two Chat with our residents and House- La Crêperie: Indulge in hazelnut beautiful terraces that overlook all masters while enjoying John’s fa- wonder of Nutella, fruit, and butter. of west campus. Let’s have a picnic mous smoothies and Ellen’s world- Made to order- come early, the line up there and enjoy the view! renowned pancakes. Seriously, you is always long 18:47—Random Hall have never had a smoothie this good. Roofdeck Barbecue: Meat! Ribs, 12:59—EAsT camPUS 16:00 sausage, burgers, and more! Come the dark presence of robj haunts us see the awesomeness of having one 16:00—Burton Conner all at night of the only roofdecks in Cambridge. Miracle Berries: A secret wonder of Eat our delicious meat products 13:00 the world for centuries, Miracle Ber- and talk to our upperclassman ries make sour and bitter foods taste about life at MIT. (Non-meat food 13:14—EAsT camPUS sweet. We’ll have limes, grapefruit, also available.) i can register you one party “yes, but hot sauce, mustard and all sorts of we would like to have 13 parties” other food for your “flavor trip”. No 19:00 harmful side effects (other than 14:00 wanting more). 19:00—Next House Next Code BattleBots: Mini AI Tour- 14:00—Simmons Hall 16:00—McCormick Hall nament: Come write your own AI Shield Painting: Along with making Ice Cream Extravaganza: Cool down 12 The Tech Friday, August 22, 2014 and then enter your bot into our dom chess, bughouse chess, sui- tournament. AI newbie? No prob- cide chess, bidding chess, monster lem! We’ll show you the ropes. Get chess, or AnyInterestingIdeaThatY- ready to battle! ouMayHave chess. 19:00—Simmons Hall 20:19—EAsT camPUS Simmons Build: Nothing’s better all i was asking for was a receipt. than building an oversized duck. that’s all i needed. “we’re not sure if (Quack!) we have time to do that right now” 19:00—Next House “it’s been three months, please can Next Big Cookout: While you’re i pay you” and then we get the re- not experiencing the wonder of the ceipt and it it’s like shittily done Next Big Thing, grab some delicious wordart food (straight off the barby!) and try 20:30—iHouse some fun activities with our student Trip to Pinkberry in Boston: Meet in groups! New House! 19:00—La Maison Française Mangez comme les français (Eat 21:00 like the French): Dînez au restau- 21:00—McCormick Hall rant français! Come experience Game Night: We’ll have everything the finest dining west of Mass Ave. from trivia to mafia to taboo and entation with the largest party of 04:36—EAsT camPUS had sex with, like, a chicken Cooking starts at 4pm if you fancy more! REX at the most social dorm on they don’t even do packages now? campus! Over 600 people attended “yeah we just throw them all. hope 12:00 yourself a chef (no cooking experi- 21:00—MacGregor last year! you find it!” ence or French actually required). Smash for Cash and Other Games: 12:30—Burton Conner Dinner is served at 7. Bon appétit! 22:00—New House Play SSB Melee, Mario Kart, and 05:00 Smoothies and Chilling: Hang out 19:00—Next House DDR for phat prizes. If you’re old- Video Games & Junk Food: Video and catch a break from the heat THE NEXT BIG THING: Next school, then come play Settlers of Games. Junk Food. Video Games 05:41—EAsT camPUS with some smoothies. Big Inception: BWAAAAHM. Catan, Cards against Humanity, or AND Junk Food. whoa WHOA whoa whoa on the go! 12:30—Simmons Hall BWAAAAHM. You mustn’t be afraid whatever else we have. Pizza, Dori- 22:00—Simmons Hall Simmons Build: Last minute prep- to dream a little bigger, darling. tos, and Mountain Dew because Top of the Sponge: Raise the roof / 06:00 arations, time to fix everything. 19:15—EAsT camPUS gaming food. on/ the roof of Simmons Hall! Party 06:23—EAsT camPUS (Quick, where’s the duct tape?) they taped the key onto the door 21:00—Senior Haus it up as you break it down with new i went to that jewish camp and then i 12:30—Simmons Hall Slamming Erotic Poetry friends against the backdrop of the went to a different jewish camp for a Pizza Bagels: Come enjoy some free MIT campus and Boston skyline. 20:00 21:00—Das Deutsche Haus few years. whoa WHOA whoa. lunch by making your own bagel Learn some schmancy swing while Boba Disney Movie Night: Come pizza with delectable toppings. You 20:00—Burton Conner you snap up hand-crafted hors join German House to watch your 08:00 should probably eat said pizza ba- Cards Against Humanity: Come d’oeuvres and light up the night favorite Disney movies and make gels as well. munch on free food and play the with 08:00—New House your own bubble tea. 12:30—Burton Conner party game for horrible people. 22:30—Burton Conner Continental Breakfast: Looking for 21:00—Maseeh Hall Build for Water Wars!!: Help us pre- 20:00—Maseeh Hall Puzzle Hunt: Come get ready for breakfast or a bedtime snack? Crav- Come to our beautiful courtyard pare for our attempt to stave off the Come play Mario Kart 8 and check Mystery Hunt and solve a puzzle ing delicious smoothies and waffles? and use our grills to make s’mores, Eastern Barbarians! out Maseeh’s Media Room. We have hunt, written especially for MIT Not enough bacon in your diet? The grilled cheese, ice cream sandwich- snacks, games and some huge bean prefrosh! friendly residents of New House will 12:30—Next House bags! es, grilled cookie dough, grilled be serving up breakfast, so come get THE NEXT BIG THING: Next pineapple,snickers, grilled all things 22:34—EAsT camPUS 20:00—New House some! Big Inception: BWAAAAHM. and everything. Well, perhaps just a we’ll have them 6 months from TexMex Dinner Feast: Have you 08:00—Simmons Hall BWAAAAHM. BWAAAAHM. You few more things, but they’re all deli- now, after we’re back from our brief ever wanted to be a Chipotle em- Getting out of Bed is Hard: But it’s mustn’t be afraid to dream a little cious! WE HAVE NUTELLA hiatus “we’re taking time off for bigger, darling. ployee for a day? Probably not but burning man” much easier with a delicious break- you should come BYOB (build your 21:05—EAsT camPUS fast! Come eat more breakfast! 12:30—La Maison Française own burrito) anyways! Indulge in was it done in sharpie? 23:00 Pretzels and Pastries: Craving your favorite American-Mexican 21:17—Random Hall 09:00 something savory? Something food that you, yourself have put Random Shirt Making: Ever won- 23:00—Next House sweet? How about both? The dough Midnight Pancakes: Now that you’ve 09:00—Simmons Hall together. dered how companies printed Simmons Build: Preparing for war! is ready! Come to French House to shirts? Come make your very own taken the Math Diagnostic, see if you make pretzels and pastries with us! 20:00—McCormick Hall can pass our practical physics exam. We’ll need help and luck. (BYO dra- Apples and Advice: Questions or Random REX shirt! Shirts, paints matic music.) 12:30—MacGregor and silkscreen provided. Catch some flying pancakes flipped “Mexican” Food: Join us for a cul- concerns about what to expect for hot off the griddle, and celebrate 09:15—EAsT camPUS 21:30—La Maison Française turally appropriated lunch of things freshman year and beyond? Come by decorating them with chocolate how did you find this farm? “there Alors on Danse: You bring the class, that have sour cream and guaca- talk to McCormick residents about chips, whipped cream, and more! was a great craigslist ad...” we’ll bring the salsa. Come eat de- mole. (Tacos, burritos, quesadillas, their experiences in McCormick 09:29—EAsT camPUS licious foods from La Maison and 23:17—Random Hall nachos?) and at MIT. We will also have deli- Idiosyncratic Systematic cious and fresh fruits and veggies! La Casa, and then dance the night Battleship Twister: Blue 4! Red 2! 12:30—Maseeh Hall away! There will be Latin, French You sunk a frosh! Play a game of bat- 09:30—La Maison Française Make art for your new home! Un- 20:00—Simmons Hall tleship where you’re the ships and Telephone Pictionary: Start with a Real Talk: Talk to Simmons resi- pop, Swing, chips, salsa, pastries, leash your creative spirit on canvas (non-alcoholic) sparkles, and more! the grid is a twister board. phrase, draw some pictures, and end and cookies. Learn about art oppor- dents about college life! We’ve cho- up with a fun game for everyone! Get 21:30—Burton Conner 23:30—Senior Haus tunities at MIT! sen a variety of student panelists to know the LMF residents and your Pixar Movie Marathon: Revert back Horror in 433 to answer your questions honestly fellow classmates through this hi- 12:47—Random Hall to your childhood! Watch your fa- 23:47—Random Hall about the next four years. We’re larious game. Around the World with Random: open to anything - so ask away (but vorite Pixar movies with us. Mario Kart: Come play Mario Kart 8! “I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve 09:30—Burton Conner don’t ask Eli about the sink...) Stu- 21:47—Random Hall It’s shiny! been everywhere...” and we’ve got Burton Conner Breakfast: The most dents only! Chainmail: Having problems being 23:59—EAsT camPUS the food to prove it! Come enjoy wonderful meal of the day. Because woken up at night by swordsmen the east campus shopping cart will some cultural cuisine with Ran- 20:17—Random Hall waffles. And eggs. And baaaaacon. Cookies and Smut: Listen to the breaking down your door? Well, be able to withstand 600 pounds of domites from around the globe. finest Viking romance novels and you’ll be able to sleep easy after this steel 09:30—McCormick Hall eat delicious warm chocolate chip event; come learn to make armor Running & Breakfast: Morning 13:00 cookies. Feel the horriblehor- worthy of the thirteenth century! Tuesday, bridge loop (a popular route for run- ners) led by McCormick residents 13:00—New House riblehorrible sensation of rivulets Also suitable for badass jewelry. August 26, 2014 Nerf War: Battle of Champions: Do of chocolate dripping down your for the first hour. Whether you’re looking for a morning workout or a you have what it takes? Nerf guns throat and discover Thor’s magnifi- 22:00 00:00 provided. BYOC (bring your own cent hammer! scenic jog, we’ll have a group for you! 22:00—Simmons Hall 00:00—Next House Breakfast available starting at 10:00. courage). 20:17—Random Hall Sporcle Party: Because the typist Next Hoenn: Calling all Pokemon 09:30—Next House 13:00—La Casa Random Chess: Do you like chess? has not been screamed at enough. trainers! Team Magma and Team Next Breakfast: To-go breakfast Carne Asada: Join us in our tradi- Do want to learn how to make chess 22:00—Baker House Aqua are recruiting! Sign up at bit. tional cookout. Eat carne asada and even more awesome? Play ran- items will be available in the lobby. Baker Skyline: Come dive into Ori- ly/nextmagma or bit.ly/nextaqua, Start your day right! Dino Fact of the other Hispanic dishes with la famil- and bring a QR Code scanner to Day: The first officially named dino- ia. Learn about Spanish House and Next House. There are 202 Hoenn saur was the Megalosaurus, which its residents cultures while enjoying Pokemon out and about; can you was named in 1824. a good meal. catch em all? 09:30—MacGregor 13:00—New House 00:00—Burton Conner Fakebreast: Err, breakfast. You know, Dance Dance: Dance Dance Dance Midnight Ultimate Frisbee: Mid- toast, pancakes, cereal. Dance Dance! Come in and play night. Ultimate. Frisbee. It’s not Dance Central for cool prizes! rocket science. 10:00 13:00—Next House Trebuchet Testing: So we built 01:00 10:00—Senior Haus a Trebuchet for the Water War. 01:30—Senior Haus Showside Brunch Launch stuff comically far with us! Cum eat us out 10:06—EAsT camPUS 13:00—Burton Conner I was pitching my tent... “you were Jello Wrestling: We all know you’ve 03:00 pitching your tent? Oh, LITERALLY.” been trying real hard over the sum- 03:17—Random Hall 10:17—Random Hall mer to get that kick ass beach bod. RHOP: Random House of Pan- Learn How to Zephyr: In the 80s, the And don’t lie - you’ve been dying cakes: I’m a delicious warm pan- ancient days before TCP, MIT stu- to show it off. The high school days cake smothered in maple syrup. dents had an older, more h4rdk0r3 of being the ugly duckling are over. Bite me. We have almost as many chat client: Zephyr. Come get set up Strip down to your undergarments pancakes as the International and talk to each other through Ran- and exert your physical domi House of Pancakes, and you don’t dom Hall’s chat client of choice! 13:00—New House have to drive to get here. See how 10:29—EAsT camPUS Smoothigami: ​​What happens when much maple syrup you can fit on whoa WHOA whoa means “look at you mix smoothies and origami? one plate. that giant ass” in some languages You get...wet sticky paper. Luckily, we’re not doing that. We have state 04:00 11 : 00 of the art cups that are specifically designed to keep smoothies out of 04:01—EAsT camPUS 11:03—EAsT camPUS your origami. #actually a supervillian origin story: 16 is like-- lower than that and I’ve that’s how the green man was born 13:00—McCormick Hall Friday, August 22, 2014 The Tech 13

Smoothies: We’ve raided Haymar- ket so we’ve got tons of fruit and yogurt. Come show us your mad 17:15 blending skills by designing your The Annual East vs. West own concoction. water war! Come with 13:00—Next House bathing suits and water Next Bake Dinosaur Cookies: Some balloons, and destroy say that a huge asteroid caused massive extinction! That type of those other guys! They heat would definitely explain why suck! On the McDermott these cookie doughnosaurs turned Dot. into cookie dinosaurs. Frost them, then eat them! 17:00 13:17—Random Hall Bubbles in the Random Bubble: 17:00—Senior Haus They say you shouldn’t stay too long Prepare for war in the MIT bubble, but nobody said 17:00—Simmons Hall anything about the Random bub- Simmons Build: Ok time to shine, ble. Come blow bubbles in our very let’s win this thing! (Wonder if any- own home-constructed inflatable one noticed this was a poem.) room! There will be bubblegum and 17:30—Baker House bubblegum pop. Sunrise Waffles: Come enjoy our beautiful million- dollar view of the 13:30—Simmons Hall 19:00—Burton Conner 20:00—Burton Conner our all out extravaganza! Test your Boston Skyline from our rooftop CTF: Join us for the legendary game Sushi and Smoothies: Tired of pizza Super Smashing: Come smash with skills! BYOI (Bring your own instru- while you eat breakfast and chat of Capture the Flag inside the leg- and burgers? Make your own Cali- us, it’ll be smashing. ments). Show us your talent! endary building where floors don’t with Baker residents! fornia rolls and smoothies and enjoy 20:17—Random Hall 21:30—Simmons Hall connect and stairwells skip floors. 17:41— EAsT camPUS some food that’s good and good for Comics!: Wondering why the Galaxy Disney Singalong: Be our Guest It’s never been easier to get lost. this freshmen runs up behind me you. needs Guardians? Not sure how the and Let it Go! Be Prepared to sing and says “is this on the way to baker 13:47—Random Hall 19:00—New House Dark Knight has anything to do with your heart out and you might just house?” Leftover Nitrogen: Eat our ice Sherlock & Deep Fryer Fest: Two bats? Curious about comics in and go from Zero to Hero. cream, smash our flowers...help us 17:47—Random Hall things Desmond residents love: out of the World Wide Web? Join us 21:30—La Maison Française run through the rest of our liquid Random Plays Randomly: Up! B! watching Sherlock and eating good at Random for laid-back perusing of Mandalas: Come and relax with nitrogen! Left! No, your other left! Come play food. Desmond is willing to give you our comics collection accompanied some Mandalas! Spiritually, Man- video games, Twitch Plays Poke- both in one deep-fried event and by hot chocolate. dalas hold quite a bit of significance 14:00 mon style, with other frosh for great you’ll have the opportunity to sam- 20:30—Burton Conner in many religions. For our purpos- glory! 14:00—Senior Haus ple an array of foods and then guess BC A Capella: “Like singing? Waiting es, they’re really fun to color! Haus Tours 18:00 what it is! to reveal your inner Pentatonix? Well 21:30—Burton Conner 14:00—Senior Haus 19:00—Simmons Hall this is the perfect opportunity. Sing Deep Conversations with Shallow Mask Making 18:00—New House SIMFEST: THE ULTIMATE SIM- some arrangements, learn to beat People: A philosophy talk. Taste of New House: New House 14:00—Senior Haus MONS EXPERIENCE! Come par- box and even improv! See you there, 21:59—EAsT camPUS has nine individual houses, and ev- Shark Banana Splits ticipate in our festival of mini- acapellers.” are ery single one of them has prepared events run by the many Simmons 14:00—New House 20:30—Next House a delectable meal - just for you! Get 21:59—EAsT camPUS Non-Newtonian Fluid Pool: Do you communities. Next 3W Safety Third Shenanigans: to know the people of New House constantly know what happens when you mix 19:00—Maseeh Hall We will sporcle! We will fence with while eating food cooked by our cornstarch and water? Forget the Come join us for some delicious ice pool noodles! We will make a hu- numbered and cultural houses. 22:00 ziplock baggies from elementary cream! We’ll meet in the Maseeh man tower! We will eat exorbitant school, we have a POOL of this stuff! 18:00—Burton Conner Lobby at 7pm for a quick walk to- amounts of food in a short period of 22:00—MacGregor Floats on Floats on Floats: Float wards yummy frozen treats. time! Come join us! Love and corgis, Sci-Fi Film Fest: The good, the bad, 14:30—MacGregor through REX and come drink every- and the ugly. What do you mean Water War: The Final Stage: Fill up 19:30—Senior Haus Next 3W. thing from apple pie floats to clas- you can’t drill to the center of the a giant cart of water balloons, load Screen Printing 20:51—EAsT camPUS sic root beer floats to lime sherbet earth? up your water guns, equip your pool 19:30—MacGregor i’m so glad i’m not at a farm herding floats with us! noodle sword and custom shield. Ice Cream Tuesdaes: It’s funny be- pigs. i herded so many pigs. five at a 22:00—Senior Haus It’s time to fight. WEST CAMPUS!! 18:00—Simmons Hall cause they’re sundaes but on a Tues- time, but at least six or seven times. that thing with the masks The Consolation Dinner: In the rare first you get a bucket of corn, then 22:17— 14:47—Random Hall day. We’ll have a big selection of Random Hall case that we lose the water war, Nerdy Singalong!: It’s hard to over- gourmet Boston area ice cream and you herd them back into the elec- Experimental Smoothies: Do at least we have plenty of food to state my satisfaction with how sorbet, with fun toppings. tric fence. you’re fucking punching you like SCIENCE? What about drown away our sorrows! much this event fulfilling in creative 19:30—Next House the shti out of the pig. it kinda goes SMOOTHIES? Come drink our way. If hopes and dreams are shat- 18:00—Next House Next 4E Tea-Rex Party: Are you a mrreehh. smoothies, and maybe make some tering apart, remember it’s gonna Victory Pizza: Come celebrate what tea lover that’s ready for some re- 20:59—EAsT camPUS of your own. We promise they be the future soon, so press up B we are sure will be a gloriously suc- laxation? Come experience a 4E tea we won’t all be poisonous. and be still alive. cessful Water War with PIZZA. Then party! We may not be procrastinat- 22:30—Next House stick around and check out some of ing on psets or spontaneously con- 21:00 Next 5W Dino Movie Night: Ru- our unique Wing Events! 15:00 gregating in the hallway, but this tea 21:00—Simmons Hall mour has it dragons are legend- 18:00—iHouse party will be full of 4E fun! ary creatures with reptilian quali- 15:00—Simmons Hall Puzzle Hunt: A puzzle hunt made Movie Marathon ties similar to those of a dinosaur! Stars and Stripes: Or whatever else 19:38—EAsT camPUS by MIT students for MIT students. 18:00—McCormick Hall I’M SORRY THAT YOU’VE NEVER Drop in at any time and solve a few We’re going to be learning how to you wanna stencil on some free t- train them using the giant 5W pro- shirts while you make 3D stars! Sweets, Treats, and Board Games: PITCHED A REAL LIVE TENT BE- puzzles, or try to solve the meta first. We’ve got board games, card games, FORE. I put it down in the grass and jector screen! We’ll have snacks for 15:00—McCormick Hall 21:00—MacGregor and tons more. Come play or eat all dragon trainers! Dodgeball: Feeling old as you’re this smell like poofed out... what is S’more S’mores: Hot sticky fun delicious desserts! 22:40—EAsT camPUS starting college? Come join McCor- that smell? is it my tent or is it na- with way too many marshmallows, 18:10—Senior Haus ture? “I’m pretty sure it’s those guys redux. Grab some then go watch a Okay but seriously “how terrified mick for an exciting game of dodge are your parents of east campus” is ball! Garment District Adventure Time tent...” movie! 19:47— a great conversation starter 15:17—Random Hall 18:25—Senior Haus EAsT camPUS 21:00—Senior Haus DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES WITH Victory BBQ the first question i ever got from Last minute mask making 23:00 FIERCE BLASTS OF DIHYDROGEN 18:30—Baker House a concerned parent was, is yanni 21:17—Random Hall MONOXIDE: Come join the Ran- Meet in the Baker Lobby and we’ll alive? “it’s a valid question” Pecker Board Game Night: Build a 23:00—Burton Conner dom faction as we march to victory head out to play some Ultimate! Dominion in Puerto Rico comprised Hot Chocolate, Smores, & The Uni- 20:00 verse 2.0: Drink cocoa, eat s’mores, at the water wars! Cover yourself 18:30— of Seven Wonders, then Race to the Next House and ponder the universe with Con- in war-paint! Prepare flying aque- Next 2W Dungeons & Dragons: 20:00—McCormick Hall Galaxy and help the Twilight Impe- ner 2. Help decorate our hallway ous projectiles! Create funnelators Come, students, and join your fel- Nighttime Carnival: Why limit your- rium crush the Resistance. Through planetarium or just relax after a of doom and deathiness! Unleash low adventurers at Morzacs Institu- self to games under the sun? Grab a the Ages, board games have been long day. your inner berserker! tion for the Talented. We welcome glow stick and join us for a game of an Innovation Random Hall has en- 23:00— 15:52—EAsT camPUS all from first-time mages to experi- frisbee, capture the flag, and more! joyed. Come and play! Simmons Hall he had a “going away for good” enced paladins to test their mettle, 20:00—Maseeh Hall 21:30—Next House Lip Sync Battles: It’s like American email-- does that not mean any- and survive the entrance exam of a Tryna bust out some sick moves on Next 2E Games, Guitars, Music, Idol but you don’t even have to thing? is it like a “going out of busi- lifetime. Just Dance or play some crazy fun Mayhem, Food, and Fun: Food! sing. Come be a rockstar and com- pete for awesome prizes. ness every month” sale? 18:30—MacGregor Wii-U games? Join us in the Mas- Board Games! Video Games! Music Silly String Lava War: Spray 200 cans eeh Game Room & Media Room for Jam Sesh! All in one place! Get ready 23:00—Senior Haus 16:00 of silly string while jumping across some good times and good food. to #turnup with Next Two East in pillow fight 16:00—McCormick Hall tables- the floor is lava! Sweeeeeet. Arts and Crafts with McCormick 18:34—EAsT camPUS GRTs: Have fun with arts and crafts Let’s build an Igloo. while hanging out with the McCor- 18:47—Random Hall mick GRTs! Tuesday Night Talks: Secretly, this is 16:12—EAsT camPUS TNT. But there won’t be any explo- the people building our roller sions. Come listen to upperclass- coaster: two homeless guys and men talk about how not to explode reed la fleche at MIT and Random. It’s going to be 16:17—Random Hall great. Seriously. Vegetarian/vegan Nerf Chess: You know what chess food will be provided. needs more of? NERF GUNS! Shoot your opponent to make it your 19:00 turn. Guaranteed to be cognitive 19:00—La Maison Française overload. Cupcake Décor: Ever wanted to 16:45—Next House become an awesome baker? Join Simmons-Next Chariot Race: Sim- the world-renowned French House mons Hall and Next House race chefs in decorating cupcakes! You’ll for West Campus dominance in a learn everything, from basic piping human-drawn chariot race. Follow to fancy techniques. All skill levels the race down to the Water War! welcome! 14 The Tech Friday, August 22, 2014

23:00—New House Tasty Treats: Have you reached your sugar intake limit yet? No? Boy, do 18:00 we have the event for you! Test your IN-HOUSE RUSH: limits with midnight dessert from New House! Once you get results 23:17—Random Hall from FYRE, or decide Spinning on the Roofdeck: Dis- to stay, join the other cover the art of making poi swoosh around your body! The hard part is frosh and pick where not hitting yourself in the head with you’ll live in the a sock full of birdseed. 23:26—EAsT camPUS dorm! speaking of fuzzy and leonid’s radio show: my mother is the biggest fan opment Themed! of their show 19:30—McCormick Hall 23:59—EAsT camPUS Sleepover: End REX with a fun on night of games and snacks with all your new McCormick friends! Wednesday, August 27, 2014 20:00 having for breakfast this morning, Giant JENGA. Giant ORIGAMI. Gi- with tasteful toppings and more. 20:27—EAsT camPUS 00:00 but you don’t have to be a detective ant TWISTER. Famangomadan. the word that just popped into my 00:00—Senior Haus to eat it! 10:30—Senior Haus 14:00 head was lazerdilldo Coffee & Cigarettes 08:00—New House Brunch of Doom 14:00—MacGregor 00:00—Next House Continental Breakfast: Looking for 10:47—Random Hall Speed Friending: Now that you 21:00 breakfast or a bedtime snack? Crav- Next Hoenn: Calling all Pokemon C is for Cookie and T is for Tea: probably know where you’re living, 21:00—iHouse ing delicious smoothies and waffles? trainers! Team Magma and Team Come enjoy games like Banana- get a headstart on meeting your new Trip to Toscanini’s: Meet in New Not enough bacon in your diet? The Aqua are recruiting! Sign up at bit. grams, Boggle, Scrabble, or solve a best friend, or that girl-next-door. House 1 friendly residents of New House will crossword or two with us. Or just ly/nextmagma or bit.ly/nextaqua, 21:06—EAsT camPUS be serving up breakfast, so come get relax and unwind from the whirl- 15:00 and bring a QR Code scanner to don’t make me take everyone off some! wind of REX with tasty cookies and a Next House. There are 202 Hoenn 15:13—EAsT camPUS the mailing list again Pokemon out and about; can you 08:14—EAsT camPUS cuppa tea. Oolong, chai, green, earl next you wear glasses and swirl 21:15—Maseeh Hall catch em all? my mom’s moms run a one room grey, rooibos... it and see if it develops legs and schoolhouse in the middle of seattle. Come meet Maseeh residents and 00:59—EAsT camPUS everything eat delicious cupcakes! gchat in the last couple of years they’ve 11:00 21:36—EAsT camPUS moved to this five mile by one mile 11:00— 16:00 Next House ditsy-- that’s a big word island in canada that’s entirely gay Next Sustain Shakeable Flashlights: people 16:06—EAsT camPUS 02:00 Shake it up, baby! But first solder it, don’t fuck up my nipple. this is my 22:00 drill it, wind it, glue it: come make nipple. FYRE applications close! 09:00 your own shake-powered flashlight 22:00—Maseeh Hall If you want to transfer 09:00—Maseeh Hall with the greenest geeks in the House! 17:00 Come to Maseeh and make new dormitories, make sure to Come enjoy crepes with a variety of 11:00—MacGregor friends by drawing on them! We’ll tasty toppings! Paintpaintpaint: Paint walls paint 17:00—Senior Haus have black lights, highlighters, and fill out your application by Let’s Dye Together a white T-shirt if you forget one! now! For more information, 09:00—MacGregor things paint people. Ends when you Food, meet mouth: We’re tired of want it to end 17:00—Senior Haus Oh, and there’ll be music to dance go to http://housing.mit. to also. making breakfast food but hopefully 11:00—Maseeh Hall BBQ & Tireswinging edu/undergraduate/ you’re not tired of eating it. Do you like food, adventure, and 17:00—Simmons Hall 22:30—Senior Haus first_year_student_move_ 09:30—Next House prizes? Come by the castle for a scav- Event Re-Runs: Did you have way Church information#FYRE Next Breakfast: To-go breakfast enger hunt and pizza! Be on the win- too much fun at Simmons REX? 22:34—EAsT camPUS items will be available in the lobby. ning team and get a prize!! Come revisit some of the great i repress my gay urges for about 20 Start your day right! Dino Fact of the 11:29—EAsT camPUS events we’ve had! We’ll just be mess- seconds every day. “keep exercis- 03:00 Day: Dinosaurs probably became life tips, i gotta smell with my mouth ing around until In-House Rush ing, you’ll get to 30 seconds” “it’s extinct due to a massive asteroid open begins. like kegels, every once and a while 03:00—Senior Haus impact, whose crater can be found 17:00—Burton Conner you remember to do it” Orgy 11:30—Senior Haus in Mexico in the Yucatán Peninsula. Mad Hatter Tea Party Chat with Sims and Surya: Come chat with Sims and Surya 23:00 05:00 10:00 11:47—Random Hall Fiddler on the Roofdeck: Do you 17:00—Senior Haus 23:59—EAsT camPUS 05:12—EAsT camPUS 10:00—Senior Haus love latkes? Miss matzah ball soup? Graffitti & AntiVandalism “if you pee, you’ll have to keep he doesn’t hate everything he’s just SH Runners Come eat home-cooked, out-of-sea- peeing forever” “that’s not how a buddhist--it’s not his fault 10:00—La Maison Française son, traditional Jewish food on Ran- 18:00 peeing works” “something some- LEGO Excavation: The LMF Dept. of dom Hall’s roofdeck. Being Jewish 18:00—Senior Haus thing webMD” “something some- 06:00 Archaeology recently came across not required. Nude Portraiture thing FACEBOOK” 06:00—Senior Haus boxes of some interesting artifacts 18:15—La Casa Walk of shame from time immemorial. They seem 12:00 Dinner with the family: Come join us Thursday, and be part of our familia for dinner. to be a set of plastic pieces utilizing 12:00—Simmons Hall August 28, 2014 07:00 standardized joining technique, al- 18:41—EAsT camPUS Salad Party: Had a few too many 08:00 07:10—EAsT camPUS lowing for seemingly endless com- carbs so far this rex? Come enjoy it’s like facebook and east campus, he had sex with his girlfriend in a binations. We need you to check w some delicious salad and vegetables that’s the only clothing that you 08:00—Simmons Hall bed WHOA WHOA WHOA 10:16—EAsT camPUS over at Simmons! We’ll have a crazy own. “why would you own any other Pancake Breakfast: Stayed up all he says things that could be like topping bar! clothing?” night? Come fuel up for an ex- 08:00 “we’re bros” except they’re creepy! 12:00—New House citing day the right way: with a 19:00 scrumptious assortment of pan- 08:00—Simmons Hall 10:30—Simmons Hall Brunch of Waffles: Brunches of 19:00— cakes! Make them your own with Mystery Breakfast: You have to be GIANT STUFF: EVERYTHING is big- waffles are delicious Oh My! Have iHouse Jeopardy Game: International Devel- rainbow-colored batter! a detective to figure out what we’re ger in Simmons. Giant BALL PITS. a brunch full of bunches of waffles State Street

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7 7 E15 6 54 5 6C E23 W13 W16 W15 W85 3 4 62 64 6B W11 Burton-Conner McCormick 14N Gray Way Amherst Street 14W 14E Next House New House House 50 Hall 1 2 Baker House 14S W1 W70 W51 W5 S E2 W71 W7 W4 W2 E1 Fowler Street

W61 Danforth Street To Hyatt Regency Masseeh Hall Senior House MacGregor Memorial Drive Endicott Street Memorial Drive House To U.S. 1 north, downtown Bosto 51 Harvard (Mass Ave) W8 Boston Bridge Charles River Friday, August 22, 2014 The Tech 15

Solution to Sudoku I from page 5 Are you a 3 1 9 5 8 6 7 2 4 6 2 7 3 9 4 1 8 5 5 4 8 1 2 7 9 6 3 tetris ninja? 9 5 1 7 3 8 6 4 2 2 8 4 6 1 9 3 5 7 7 3 6 4 5 2 8 1 9 Use your 4 6 2 9 7 1 5 3 8 1 7 5 8 4 3 2 9 6 powers 8 9 3 2 6 5 4 7 1 for good! Solution to Sudoku II from page 5 9 3 5 4 2 6 1 7 8 8 2 7 3 5 1 6 4 9 6 4 1 9 7 8 2 3 5 1 5 9 7 6 2 4 8 3 3 6 2 8 9 4 7 5 1 arts arts arts 4 7 8 5 1 3 9 6 2 arts arts arts 7 1 3 6 8 9 5 2 4 arts artsarts arts 2 8 6 1 4 5 3 9 7 news arts 5 9 4 2 3 7 8 1 6 news arts news news news Solution to Sudoku III David Da He—The Tech news news from page 5 The supermoon on the night of Aug. 10, and the largest full moon of the year. A newsnews 5 4 3 9 2 1 6 7 8 supermoon occurs when a full moon coincides with the moon’s closest approach to news Earth. The next supermoon is on Sept. 8. news 2 9 1 7 6 8 4 3 5 news 6 8 7 5 3 4 9 2 1 1 7 8 4 5 2 3 9 6 9 3 5 8 7 6 1 4 2 ...by joining 4 2 6 1 9 3 8 5 7 8 1 2 3 4 7 5 6 9 the production 3 6 9 2 1 5 7 8 4 department at 7 5 4 6 8 9 2 1 3 The Tech! Solution to Techdoku I from page 5 [email protected] opn opn 5 4 2 1 3 6 opn arts opn 6 5 3 2 4 1 arts opn arts opn spo spo arts arts opn 4 3 1 6 2 5 spo spo arts arts opn spo spo arts arts opn 1 6 4 3 5 2 spo spo arts f u n opn spo spo arts f u n opn 2 1 5 4 6 3 spo spo arts f unopn life life life f u n f u n f u n 3 2 6 5 1 4 Ho Yin Au—The Tech life life life f u n f u n f u n Google staff demonstrated Google Glass to invited guests and press at the un- lifelifelife f unf unf un opn opn life news spo spo Solution to Techdoku II veiling of Google’s expanded campus in Kendall Square on Tuesday, Aug. 5. The new opn opn life news spo spo from page 5 construction took two years to complete after a controversial permitting and zoning opnopnpandnews spo spo process. opn opn f u n news spo opn opn f u n news spo 6 5 1 3 2 4 opnopn f unnews spo f u n f u n f u n news news spo 1 6 2 4 3 5 f u n f u n f u n news news spo 2 1 3 5 4 6 f unf unf unnewsnews spo 4 3 5 1 6 2 5 4 6 2 1 3 3 2 4 6 5 1 Solution to Techdoku III from page 5 5 4 1 6 3 2 1 6 3 2 5 4 2 1 4 3 6 5 3 2 5 4 1 6 6 5 2 1 4 3 4 3 6 5 2 1 Solution to Crossword from page 6 16 The Tech Friday, August 22, 2014

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HELLO! WE MAKE THE TECH, MIT’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER!

If you like writing, graphic design, photography, business, technology, videography, social media, copy editing (or pretty much anything else) NO EXPERIENCE! there’s a place NECESSAR for you here! Y! So if you think you might be interested, or even if you just want to see what we join us for dinner in our do, Student Center (W20-483 ) on Sundays at 6 pm, or email us at [email protected]

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