Sex As an Expression of Hospitality- Theological Investigation Amongst Some Africans

Page 1 of 8 Original Research SEX AS AN EXPRESSION OF HOSPITALITY- THEOLOGICAL INVESTIGATION AMONGST SOME AFRICANS Author: M E Baloyi 1 Besides the fact that sexual relationships have been understood and misunderstood in different ways, the possibility of sexual abuse remains a big issue amongst African South Africans. It has Affiliation: been sexual relationships, amongst other factors, that have been widely used by one gender to 1Department of Philosophy, dominate the other. Sometimes this happens because women, because of their defencelessness, Practical and Systematic are perceived to enjoy the kind of sexual abuse they are subjected to. It is from this kind of attitude Theology University of South that some people, particularly men, come to the conclusion that sexual intercourse is another form Africa of hospitality that can be offered to women. This kind of thinking has been fuelled by the traditional Correspondence to: rejection of singlehood or widowhood and other related situations that women find themselves in. Baloyi Magezi Elijah It is for this reason that polygamy, levirate marriage and cohabitation have crept into the minds of some men. This paper will attempt to unveil how thinking of sexual intercourse as extending Postal Address: Office 8-75 TvW Building, Box a form of hospitality has encouraged the domination and abuse of women in the African context. 392, Unisa, 0003 The study will also unveil how the gift of sex has been misunderstood and misinterpreted in order to subject women to sexual violence and harassment. Email: [email protected] Keywords: Sexual relationships, sexual abuse, gender domination, sex as expression of hospitality, Dates: polygamy, levirate marriage. 31 Oct 2016 How to cite this article: Baloyi M. E., 2016. "Sex as an expression of hospitality- Afgesien van die feit dat seksuele verhoudinge op verskillende wyses verstaan en misverstaan is, theological investigation bly die moontlikheid van seksuele misbruik ‘n groot probleem onder Suid-Afrikaanse Afrikane. amongst some africans". Dit was nog altyd seksuele verhoudinge, sowel as ander faktore, wat wyd deur een geslag gebruik KOERS — Bulletin for Christian is om die ander geslag te domineer. Soms gebeur dit omdat gedink word dat vroue, as gevolg Scholarship, 81(2). Available at: http://dx.doi.org/10.19108/ van hulle weerloosheid, die soort seksuele misbruik waaraan hulle blootgestel word geniet. koers.81.2.2248 Voortvloeiend hieruit ontstaan die houding dat sommige mense, veral mans, tot die gevolgtrekking kom dat seksuele gemeenskap ‘n vorm van gasvryheid is wat vroue behoort te geniet. Hierdie soort Copyright: denke word aangehelp deur die tradisionele verwerping van enkellopende vroue en weduwees en © 2016. The Author(s). Published under the Creative ander soortgelyke situasies waarin vroue hulleself bevind. Dit is om hierdie rede dat poligamie, Commons Atribution License. swaershuwelike en saambly sommige mans se denke insluip. Hierdie artikel sal poog om aan te toon hoe ‘n denkbeeld van seksuele omgang as ‘n vorm van gasvryheid die dominasie en mishandeling van vroue in die Afrika-konteks versterk is. Die studie sal ook aantoon hoe die “geskenk” van seksuele omgang vroue meer blootstel aan seksuele geweld en mishandeling. Sleutelwoorde: Seksuele verhoudinge, seksuele misbruik, geslagsdominasie, seks as uitdrukking van gasvryheid, poligamie, swaershuwelike www.koersjournal.org.za doi.org/10,19108/KOERS.81.2.2248 Page 2 of 8 Original Research 1. INTRODUCTION The revival of the 16 days of Gender Activism is already being initiated with political and community leaders starting to Let me introduce this study by quoting an address given by the publicly speak about it. It is said that despite celebrating MEC for Sports, Recreation and Culture, Pemmy Majodina, as 16 days of gender activism, we are also celebrating 16 years of she said: “Leave your Tupperware behind. I am sure you know this activity in South Africa, which is a good reminder to all of Eastern Cape women are very beautiful. You must leave your us about the gender equality that we are seeking to establish partners behind. Two by two is not allowed” (Nteyi, 2014:3). This as a nation. It is within this context that this article intends to was one of the opening speeches for the 2014 Arts and Culture unveil sex hospitality as a traditional weapon not only against Week in Grahamstown, near Port Elizabeth. It is unfortunate the subject, but to oppress, abuse and violate women’s rights in that these irresponsible statements were not made by an the South African context in general. The traditional portrayal ordinary person, but by a government leader and one of the of sex as an act of hospitality has been alleged to be an issue leading female stalwarts of liberation. Besides the reduction of amongst some African tribes. It is for this reason that women the image of women to a mundane object like Tupperware, the have been seen as people who should be made available to others from the Eastern Cape are reduced to being instruments please men sexually. Some definite taboos and other traditional of hospitality, available to upcoming visitors to the province. stereotypes are used to make this belief an acceptable one. The motivation of this kind of thinking is that some African or For this reason, instead of reducing the gender-related based black women are expected to show hospitality to strangers who violence, South Africa is experiencing massive multiplication will be coming from different parts of the country. It is not clear of the oppression of one gender by the other. Although there whether the Eastern Cape women are for or against this view, has been a growing concern about sex-related offences that but if they are for it, then one doubts whether all the females are escalating in South Africa, some of the causes have gone in that province would want to regard themselves as people unnoticed. There have been many structural ways in which to stand up for their human rights. It should be understood females are subjected to subordination. One of the perceptions that women’s rights are in the very first instance quite simply is that women or females should entertain or take care of human rights, and what is reflected in this public utterance people, including strangers. is a pathology which needs to be arrested and destroyed if we are still serious about winning the battle of gender imbalances 2. RELEVANCE AND METHOD OF THE in this country. After hearing this statement the author was STUDY quickly reminded of a statement by John Mbiti (1990:143) who indicated that there were (still) areas where sex was used It is undeniable that even after 22 years of democracy, women as an expression of hospitality amongst Africans. are still viewed as subordinates to men in different spheres of life, whether it be the workplace, home or public life. Sexual The author intends to introduce the engagement of this article harassment, rape and other means of forced sexual relationships by quoting one of the well-known verses from Hebrews 13:2 continue to top the list of offences that are committed daily in which says: “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, this democratic nation. The dignity, human rights and freedom for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing of women are not only under attack, but also systematically and it.” The Greek word for hospitality is “philoxenia” meaning structurally being undermined. Any theology that attempts to “love of the stranger” and has as its direct opposite “xenophobia” ignore or turn a blind eye when females are reduced to objects which is “hatred of the stranger” (Vine, 1981:235). In Matthew is not only irrelevant, but it does not deserve to exist at all. 25:31 Jesus promised to be with those offering hospitality, Practical theology of liberation argues that theology must begin which could in that context be understood as solidarity with from human pain. The plight of women in celebrating 16 years strangers (Lloyd-Siddle, 2006:142). The practice of hospitality or 16 days of activism during December cannot be relegated in general has been a very common characteristic for African to the ears of the government and gender related NGOs alone, people. An African without hospitality cannot be imagined or but demands the interpretation and praxis of theology. A lot identified in African culture. It is because of this hospitality of theologians have written much about being the voice of the that Africa as a continent became one of the most voiceless women, but not much has been done to eliminate exploited continents by colonisers, who ended up taking these violations and abuses. its resources. Unfortunately, this excessive belief in hospitality has gone too far, creating the thinking in some 3. THE CONCEPT OF HOSPITALITY African people that there should even be hospitality in sexual matters. Kyomo and Selvan (2004:85) argue that 3.1 Brief background a male visitor should be offered a daughter or sister for the night by the host. This could also be done with a deserted wife The unconditional readiness to share, give freely and be an in a form of levirate marriage. African women are identified by extension of generosity has characterized what we call African their hospitality, hence Oduyoye (2001:91) quoted Mbondo by hospitality for many decades. It includes to help, to assist, saying: “Women’s tenderness and hospitality, security at home to love and to carry one another’s burden (Echema, 1995:35). would be impossible for the other sex is not committed to such According to Olikenyi (2001:102) it is a vital aspect of existence things. Women’s role in the home as those who make ‘life more in Africa and it is still practices by many Africans despite the poetic’, but admits that paradoxically, they are also the ones forces of external influence.

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