15 Dormers Arrested, Caught Sneaking in SU Pool

112 years Towards AN Obsessive Campus TABLOID | vol. LXXXVii No. 13 | WEDNESDAY, 30 SEPTEMBER 2015

SM DUMAGUETE. Bae Malayang IV, son of Bae Malayang II, briefs engineering students on their tasks in the construction of the new Silliman Mall last Sept. 28 at Uytengsu Hall. PHOTO BY Pabebe Isoga 15 dormers arrested, caught sneaking in SU Pool By Nestlé Batallon Torres said that the SPD investigated to the pool because of a bet by and community service for a year.” Due to the incident, the university the report and found out that this is not the the seven athlete swimmers. The retreat and community service will administration called for a meeting with THE SIIIIMAN POLICE first time students sneaked into the pool. “As friends, we supported their be paid by the university. The students the Board of Thrustees (BoT) funds to DEPARTMENT (SPD) arrested “We heard the case before and bet in swimming. My athlete friends will have free meals and lodging at the draft a law that formalizes the illegality 15 dormers from Dultz and Vernoon alarmed all dorm managers and security agreed that whoever wins will Siiiiman Village. They will also be free of of sneaking into the Shaw pool. who were caught swimming and guards to ensure that no one uses the have a free ticket to the ‘Heneral air-conditioning charges and have free The administration immediately shouting in the Shaw Memorial Pool. pool at midnight or during closed hours. Emperador’ indie movie,” Uway said. Wi-Fi with a connection speed of 50MB. ordered to install CCTV in the The dormers are now in the custody of This is a lesson for all of us,” Torres said. Siiiiman University (SU) President Meanwhile, Mac Coelet, pool area to avoid such act. They SPD and are barred from campus without Fazzah Uway, one of the dormers Bae Malayang II issued a statement, another dormer arrested, said that also informed the dorm managers supervision from the dorm managers. arrested, said that they shouted calling the incident “disappointing they do not see the action of SU to strictly follow the curfew rule. Seven of the dormers were because one of their friends to the university and to the administration as a ‘punishment.’ In addition, they also hired identified as athlete swimmers.pretended that he was drowning. families of the students arrested.” “I think the response of the university Avenido Cemini, a new security According to Atty. Rey Chin “We were all very nervous because Malayang said: “What they did to our action is good. We can spare guard who roves the area 24 hours Torres, SPD chief, he received a we thought that he was drowning. was a clear violation of the laws ourselves from aircon charges, dorm and can also be a lifeguard in the pool. report from a security guard roving Actually, he was just making a and values of Siiiiman. We won’t fees, and cafeteria food. We are thankful The seven swimmer athletes prank, so we laughed,” said Uway. tolerate such act of disobedience. I because we are given the chance to are now suspended from the SU in the area that there were students ~ illegally using the pool at 12 midnight. Uway added that they went want these students to go on retreat correct our mistakes,” said Coelet. swim team, according to SPD.

By AndengSiiiiman-owned Dilim girl at the counter mall charged him Php to 169.9. riseand coffee in shops Dgte to open,” Malayang said. He added that he ‘suddenly’ started SM Cinema will also sell movie tickets DUE TO ‘EXPENSIVE’ Robinsoons crying in front of the ticket girl, not for only Php 19.9. It will be the first movie Cinema tickets, Siiiiman University (SU) just because he only brought the exact theatre to offer 6D, 7D, and 8D viewing. President Bae Malayang II was ‘driven’ amount, but because he “just wanted to College of Pretty Visuals and Aesthetics to propose the building of a Siiiiman rest from all the leadership pressures.” (COPVA) Dean Elizabeth Visa-Siriuz Mall (SM) to the Board of Thrustees “I spent my Php 20 on a suggested that the color theme of the soon- (BoT) in the Leader Ship Council Cornetto instead,” Malayang sighed. to-rise mall should revolve around the meeting last Sept. 26 at the Board Room. Faculty heads and other leaders usual colors in SU: red, blue, and green. She Last Sept. 24, Malayang was tired from were teary-eyed while listening also said that red should be the main color. thinking of the challenges the university to the president’s testimony. SU Senior Minister Rev. Elmher Saan is facing, so he decided to go to the Taglish Department Head said that the location of SM is strategic mall for the last full show of Etiquette CarlitoWatuo-ay Sr. said that he got because it’s near the campus. He said that on the Mattresses, a movie directed by so emotional that he was not able to people can have a place to dine, shop, and Pol Sureano about magic cushions that enjoy the tuna sandwich served by take strolls after going to church on Sundays. remove one’s problems after sleeping on it. the SU Cafeteria during the meeting. Saan declined to give more details on the LAST PIECE REMAINING. Students fight over the last cheese bread after the Some university challenges under “Dr. Bae does not deserve kung matter to give an element of surprise. He cafeteria has decided to stop its production due to the baker leaving the staff Malayang’s leadership are the K-21 ano ang nangyari to him. Robinsoons then assured the BoT that SM will ‘surely’ should better prepare; SM will be beat all the other existing malls in the city. because he was underpaid. PHOTO BY Cherry Ansabe educational system or the additional 11 years of schooling in the Philippines, a slap to its mukha,” said Watuo-ay. Establishments the ASIN integration or the flood of Plans Starbocks Coffee was the first café tears shed by professors and students The proposed SM will have four that pledged to open in SM. Upon in Southeast Asia, the Alden and Yaya floors, representing the four portals of the hearing this, Boo’s Coffee immediately By RaitWS Rai Chen Butandingplans to goused during ‘paperless’ the rhetoric,” Dilim said. Dub (AlDub) wedding preparations university. It will be located behind SU made arrangements with SU. Coffee Rhetoric is an art of at SU church, among others. Church with an area of 7,448 sq. meters. BenTea Leaf, where all kinds of IN RESPONSE TO the university’s speaking effectively, coined by Malayang thought that a movie ticket “SM will be the biggest shopping mall in coffee cost Php 20, will also soon rise. aim to be environment-friendly, the Aristotle, who happens to be cost Php 20, but he was astonished when the Dumaguete, so expect popular restaurants moonwalk to page 4... Witty Sillimanianz (tWS) will stop using Dilim’s favorite philosopher. paper in all its issues during the next Meanwhile, the game called ‘charades’ semester and will use speeches instead. will be used in describing the photos. PEP to be included in QPA Andeng Dilim, editor-in-chief of “We chose ‘charades’ because it will By Jann Beyoncé Kadena university is giving to Siiiimanians. favor of making PEP a three-unit tWS, said, “We want to support the test the intelligence of the Siiiimanians. “Since Siiiiman University is aiming subject because it will pull up her to give Siiiimanians a whole person QPA and make her an honor student. school’s campaign to be environment- We want them to be critical thinkers,” DR. VETSIN SOY TEN, Vice education, we want to prioritize the “It’s great news! My QPA is 3.24, friendly and environment-conscious.” said Photojournalist Babe Isaga Teves. President for Academic Anxiety (VPAA), announced that the Personality personality development of the students by which means making PEP three units Dilim also added that by stopping Teves also said that SUSG making PEP a three-unit subject,” Ten said. would pull up my grades and would the publications, the Siiiiman Press will officers will be the first participants. Enhancement Program (PEP) will be included in the computation of the Anne Kapoy, a guidance counselor, make me an honor student,” Leon said. be given the time to rest but with pay. They are expected to share the students’ Quality Point Average (QPA). said that making PEP a three-unit subject However, Director of Exhaustion answers with “transparency “We will be using the oratorical “We will be including it in the QPA is a good idea because they have noticed Program of SU Nickel Elmen questioned method. It means that we will be reciting and accuracy” to the students. computations in order for students that personal problems of the students are why PEP should be included in the verbatim our articles: editorial, news, Meanwhile, Marc RayBan Garcia, to really take the subject seriously affecting their studies. She said that giving computation of QPA when Civic Welfare features and columns,” she added. head of the Office of Information and and not take it for granted,” Tan said. the same level of importance to PEP with Tiring Service (CWTS) and Reversed Dilim said that there will be a podium Publication, said that they are taking PEP is a Unified College Guidance other subjects will be helpful to students. Officers Tiring Corps (ROTC) are not. placed every 2 p.m. Wednesday in the into consideration the paperless method Program designed especially “Personal problems of the students, “We think PEP should not be made such as learning to move on, being a 3-unit subject and should not be Siiiiman University (SU) Amphitheatre in publishing their news updates. for freshmen and new students. heartbroken and depressed, are affecting included in the QPA computation. It is where they will recite their articles. The paperless method of the tWS According to Ten, PEP should now be a ‘more felt’ subject because Siiiiman their academics. Also, some students unfair for CWTS and ROTC because “Our business manager has will begin next semester after the are taking PEP for granted without these subjects are already three-unit allocated budget for the microphone, publication of the lampoon issue.~ University (SU) wants to emphasize the “whole person education” that the realizing its importance,” Kapoy said. subjects, yet these are not included speakers, and trumpets that will be Camell Leon said that she is in tango to page 4... the weekly sillimanian the weekly sillimanian 2 twsopinion 30 September 2015 30 September 2015 twsfeatures 3 The Future is Bright ow, Siiiimanians are looking forward to a lot of things next How’s Your Siiiiman Life? semester. First, Siiiiman University (SU) will have its own mall, the By Run Bylaws J – my best friend P – Watching #AlDub Hall W and Christian Grey Tomez Silliman Mall. the Weekly Siiiimanian(tWS)believes that Robinsoons CEO Jan Stopkangway is already threatened. K – a stallion Q – Making Pastillas 14- Pose for the Fine Arts department during their Movie lovers have also been posting statuses and tweets on Facebook and o you have a hard time L - a student from College R - Modeling knowing yourself or what live drawing sessions Twitter on the five films to be shown at the CineMalayang, the first ever film of Arts and Sciences S -Facebooking does on in your life? the fest in Dumaguete named after the beloved SU President Bae Malayang II. M - a mass communication 15- Swim with the crocodiles at Weekly Sillimanian will help you T – Plunking Based on the survey of Movie, Television, and Basic Communication 25 D student the Marine Laboratory discover your personality. Pick the Researchers (MTBC25R), ‘Heneral Emperador’ is the most-awaited movie U – Vandalizing 16- Climb acacia trees tidbits that apply to you to make N –my teammate of Siiiimanians. The Siiiiman community have always wondered about SU V – Texting in class Student Government (SUSG) President Kreek Emperador and Brandy’s the sentence that best describes your O –my dog/cat 17- Hang from SU Church’s Siiiiman life. W – Stalking my crush chandeliers lovelife. tWS always thought that it’s impossible for a president to have a P–a maniac lovelife, but the movie trailer gave hints that it isn’t. (Pick your birth month): X - Networking 18- Sled down the ramps Third, everyone’s waiting for the influx of honor students next semester Q – myself of CBA Building January –I was walking with Y - Cheating after Vice President for Academic R – a med student 19- Bathe in February – I fell in love with Z – Shopping for slippers Anxiety Vetsin Soy Ten includes the S - my ex-boyfriend/ champorado or Personality Enhancement Program editorial girlfriend So that we can (pick your pospas March— I like to talk to (PEP) for the Quantity Point Average birthdate) : 20- Sell tickets for your (QPA) grade starting this school year. tWS would like to send its utmost T – my group mate 1- Play Frisbee with my dog April – I cheated with monthly one-person show gratitude to her. Wee! Eric Gerald Anderson, the slave manager of tWS and U – a writer teammates at Luce also an accountancy student, will be able to get a 3.25 QPA because of his May – I married V – my text mate 2- Sneak into the cafeteria and 21- Walk in six-inch heels up kwatro grade in PEP. How miraculous is this for a black sheep! pretend I’m a cheese bread Next year’s Hibalag will definitely be a blast, too. The SUSG does not June – I fought with W – my childhood friend and down Ausejo Hall 3- Take people out on dates at have to invite bands anymore; the AlDub loveteam will add hype to the Siiiimanians Ask X – my teacher 22- Conduct experiments at the July – My heart was broken by the Physics department Hibalag fever by making everyone believe in forever through exchanging Siiiimanians Ask™ is a special section Bertud ng Hustisya: ANG Science Complex in the Weekly Siiiimanian that aims Y – my girlfriend/boyfriend vows at SU Church. tWS is excited to do a special coverage on the AlDub “How can we minimize the traffic HUSGADONG ITO AY HINDI August – I was hurt by 4- Laugh at couples making to get questions from students. All 23- Twist, lick, and dunk all the wedding. According to the Eight Bulaga! PR team, all tWS staff members jams in Dumaguete?” SUMASANG-AYON SA Z – my neighbor out in the library questions are answered by Trio Oreo bread have a chance to sit with the couple’s parents on the front bench. Indeed, one Tagapayong, and compiled by tWS’s Dulce Crush from KMC PAGSUMITE NG LIHAM PARA September – I was captivated by That we focused on (pick the first 5- Sell test answers to of the perks of being a staff member in the school publication is that there’s trusted and very healthy writer. The (Kapunungan ng mga Maraming SA ASEMBLIYA! Ito ay isang letter of your last name): 24- Order coffee at the café in Trio Tagapayong is composed of the Car) katangahan at katunggakan. Unang- October – I was cheated by freshmen no need to write resolutions on free passes or tickets to assess events like A – Cutting classes OH and feel mayaman Bertud ng Pagmamahal, Bertud ng una sa lahat, ang lupon ng mga mag- these. 6- Apply Bossing’s Level 5 Karunungan, at Bertud ng Hustisya. Bertud ng Pagmamahal: We only aaral ang naglagay sa kanila sa pwesto. November – I ran away with 25- Build fighting robots at the The process of collecting replies from B –Krumping tempura on my face to Lastly, girls have been hoping that next semester, Avenido Cemini, new need love, respect, and more love. This Kaya’t wala silang karapatan na College of Engineering security guard who roves around the Shaw Memorial Pool 24/7 will still be the Trio is very secretive. Even the EIC December – I felt so C - Singing improve my complexion doesn’t know. world knows no love. As a MassComm hingan ang mga mag-aaral ng liham 26- Ride the gurneys at the single. Most P.E. students taking advanced swimming describe him as “tall, comfortable with 7- Float in the green fountains student, you ng pagpayag. Kung maihahalintulad D – Twerking Medical Center dark, handsome, and ma-abs.” Some tWS staff members also think that he The Three natin ito sa isang bahay, ang mga of Villareal Hall “On a scale from 1-10, how would (Pick the first letter of your first E - Popping could be the icing sa ibabaw ng cupcake of one of the single women in the mag-aaral ang gumawa ng buhay at 27- Ghostwrite thesis papers you rate the SUSG?” Umbrellas name): 8- Hide in the AH elevator ang may-ari ng bahay. Sila rin ang F - Licking for graduating seniors office. Hmm… the school publication will just update everyone oratorically Bae Mossimo, Assistant Professor, A – an engineering student naglagay ng mga tao na mag-aalaga with all my friends as it goes paperless next semester!~ Malnutrition Department G- Rapping 28- Photocopy your butt at sa bahay na ito—ang mga taong ito B – a law student 9- Hang out with my ghost Trio Tagapayong ay ang mga representante galing H - Hanging the ramp in AH Bertud ng Karunungan: I’ve C – a business friends in Katipunan Hall computed the average of the Trio’s sa bawat kolehiyo. Kaya’t kung sila 29- Coach varsity players your administration student I – Break dancing 10- Eat homemade pansit score. Our rating is 6.85/10. Why? should stand at the center of the ang may-ari, bakit kailangan pa nila own made-up sport sillimaniansknowitall For us, ramdam na ramdam naman intersection and teach them to give magpaalam sa ‘di hamak na caretaker D – a nursing student J - Loving canton at Business and Compiled by Leech Beth Dinaya ang SUSG ngayong taon kumpara way. Ang daan, para yang love, wag lang? Pag-isipan mo ito Illidan. Finance 30- Visit the President’s E – an education student K - Listening House and sit at his desk, dati. Ngunit, ayon sa napag-usapan kang mag-give way kung ayaw mong 11- Fight with the early feeling all of the power seep ng Trio, hindi namin maintindihan maunahan. “Naghiwalay kami ng boyfriend ko. F – a student from the L - Cosplaying childhood students to Anong gagawin ko mahal ng bertud?” inside you “What establishments do you want to kung bakit parang may T-shirt Computer Studies M – Imitating the teacher establish dominance “May forever ba?” Edith Doltz-Carson, Bachelor of design at ID sling contest ang 31- Cook for your crush at the Douglas McDognald from Mass Commuter IV G – a med tech student N – Playing DOTA 12- Plant kamote in Siiiiman see in Silliman Mall? ” SUSG ngayon. Ayon kay Bertud ng Nutrition and Dietetics Pagmamahal, marami raw chuy sa Naagusan Siiiimanites H – a physical therapy student Farm O – Playing Frisbee department Execom ngayon. Bukod sa kalandian Bertud ng Pagmamahal: Ang mundo I – a faculty member 13- Looking for guys at Guy “I want Siiiiman to establish the most recognized clothing line sewn from the ni Bertud ng Pagmamahal, maraming Bertud ng Karunungan: Bertud ng ay isang malaking Quiapo, Edith. Home Economics Department, a subsidy of Human, also known as Elman.” mga mayayabang sa SUSG ngayon, Pagmamahal rejected this question Ang pagmamahal ay sadyang hindi Wulang Furr Eber, Bachelor of Science in Silhig Engineering I lalung-lalo na yung matabang lalaki due to unexplained depression and para sa inyong dalawa. Oo, madaling na taga-CBA at yung babaeng kulot hysteria. Para malaman mo kung sabihin ang mag-move on. Pero hindi Requirements Overload: How to Not Finish Last “I want every available food establishment in Silliman Mall. Especially the yung buhok na taga-CBA rin. may forever, kumuha ka ng ampalaya. ito madali. Ang maipapayo ko sa iyo by Andeng Dilim 5. Gather all your books and shove 6. Fly to China. best fruit stand in Dumaguete- Fontelo’s Pomelo Stand.” Hiwain mo sa gitna at kumagat ka. ay pag-igihan mo ang pag-aaral mo. and Juan Torpedo Ryan Bungs, Bachelor of Science in Overnutrition No Diet II “What is true leadership?” Kapag mapait, walang forever. Kapag 3. Group study with a twist. them underneath your bed. Social Media is a really tough Math 11 4.0 Muy Vien from Pot Hell Nic Society matamis, may forever. “Should I join organizations aside Put duct tape on everyone’s lips Our brains are hardwired machines thing to overcome when you are COM 15 4.0 “Pinaasa ako nya. Bakit ganun? Hindi ka ba kuntento sa akin? Ang mahal ko academic orgs in Siiiiman?” aving problems with so that no one will talk. It is fast, that need rest to work for the next facing your requirements. Flying “Bakit ang baba ng grade ko eh Lena Ducchane from HISEE ba hindi sapat? What was the question, again?” Bertud ng Hustisya: True meeting requirement effective, safe, and best of all: quiet! day. It is not preferred to stay up to China will free you from that, leadership is selfless. Hindi dapat ginawa ko naman lahat?” (formerly HISAW) BC 11 4.0 Hilaw Talong, Bachelor of ByLaws IV deadlines in school? Trust all night for an exam. But what if since Facebook and Twitter are not ipinagyayabang sa social media sites Farrah Bernales from Silingan these witty and effective tips from PEP 1 4.0 ang mga naiambag mo sa lipunan. Zanorte Cornbeef Bertud ng Karunungan: Yes Lena, H 4. Buy a love potion from Siquijor. you can sleep and study at the same allowed there. Just be sure to bring “I hope they establish Foot S-Paa because I have a lot of callouses.” witty and deadline-affected writers Ang husgadong ito ay naniniwala na you should join. But, you should pocket translators because they do NSTP 1* 4.0 Hesus de Lata, Bachelor of Mass Commuting III ang isang lider ay hindi mayabang, Bertud ng Hustisya: Isa lang ang CHOOSE the RIGHT, not the left, who received a letter from their dean not have Google there. (They have kundi dapat mapagkumbaba. sagot diyan, hija. Hindi ka favorite ng ORGANIZATION for you. Daghan that they qualified for the summa Bing, but who uses Bing?) PE 11 4.0 “They need to open Gua-zone.three in Silliman Mall. It can help students in Kung ikaw ay isang lider, hindi mo teacher mo sa klase. Malamang 4.0 ra bang organisasyon diri sa Siiiiman cum laude award: honing their religious and DoTA skillz.” kailangang ipakita sa buong mundo na yung mga favorite. Kaya’t huwag nga mutudlo ug “kurapsyon.” Ayaw PSYCH 11 4.0 7. Take shorter power naps. Vince Bolabols, School of Pubic Affairs and Loverbands V ang mga nagawa mo. Ang totoong ka nang malungkot at ganyan talaga. padala sa istorya nga chada. Giuwat lider ay hindi ipinagsasabi ang mga May teachers talaga na bobo-friendly. ra ka ana, Lena. Wala ra ka kabalo 1. Count and name pimples. The most accepted rule is to study REL 11 4.0 When things go south, sometimes “An establishment I would like to see in SM would be raMacho Fitness nagawa nilang magaganda. Hayaan Favorite niya yung mga hindi mo ka- sa ilang baho diri sa Siiiiman. or work for 50 minutes then nap level. Kaya’t nabalita nga na pwede Kinahanglan nga i-follow jud nimo SPCH 11 4.0 Center. Exercising our minds are important, but exercising muscles are na lang nilang mga tao ang magsabi you just have to be reminded how for 10 minutes, but you can be ng mga ito. nila i-improve credentials nila diba? imong right judgment. Ayaw padala far you’ve soared. You can’t find more productive if you work for importanter.” Kasi hindi sila magaling. sa sobrang color coding. Basta MATH 12(AS) 4.0 them anywhere else but on your 59 minutes and 59 seconds and Josefina Baogata, Bachelor of Science in Physical Training XII “What can you say about the Weekly practice right judgment. Follow your face. Pimples are battle marks; these COM 16 4.0 Siiiimanian’s performance this school “Langya, ‘bat ang baba ng grade ko sa heart and mind. sleep for one second instead of 20 are the outcomes of all the sleepless year?” BC 25?” minutes. C FUND 1 4.0 Regla Regalado from JPIA Bobo Ong from SJBE (Siiiiman “Naa koy kachat sa fb, British. Gwapo nights and stress. Some name ( Junior Philippine Intergalactic Junior Boat Engineers) ug dako kaayo ang churva. Nangutana suggestions for those pimples are 8. Opt for the last resort. BC 12* 4.0 ko niya, ‘Do you like iPhone?’ Association) Jejemar, Kimoi, Wilksen, Chacha, If you have enough savings, sponsor Bertud ng Karunungan: Isa lang ang Then nireply siya ug ‘yes’. Human Koko, and Martini. Just be sure not PEP 2 4.0 Bertud ng Hustisya: tWS is sagot diyan, hijo. ANG PANGET ato, nangutana kog tagpila. Matay, a trip to Paris and package tour to witty to pop them because they are the sillimanian performing well. Their downfall NG THESIS MO. HINDI gireplayan ko ug 45 pounds! Ana jud your single professor on the due NSTP-CWTS 2 4.0 Editor-in-Chef Andeng Dilim The Witty Siiiimanian is published every week only things that will stay with you Side dish Editor Juan Torpedo by drug addicts of Siiiiman University, with toilet is when they were summoned by COMPLETE SENTENCE YUNG ba ang kabug-aton sa Iphone? dates of your requirements. If s/he’s Meows Editor Janaenae Mingdoza paper addresses at 1/F Oryental Hole, Siiiiman Stupident ASSembly. Bakit sila ARGUMENT MO! Malamang Christel Buguon, Bachelor of until the end of this stress-mester, not persuaded, provide a potential PE 12 4.0 Matured Editor Christian Grey Tomez University, Chillbard Avenue, Dunayguete City 6969, Feelippines. SU PO Box 819. Telephone tungkol sa forever ang thesis mo Science in Pharmaceutical Selling Slave Manager Eric Gerald Anderson nagpa-summon? Fyi, tWS staff unlike your palalabs. partner. Alden Richards, Sir Chief number (69) 422-6969 local 619. members cannot be summoned. noh? BAGSAK KA! BAGSAK Buy one from the local quack. Pray time? Studies from Sta. Teresha’s or Cara Delevin is always open. FUTURE SUBJECTS – 4.0 for Meows Writers Nestlé Batallon, Jann Beyoncé Kadena, Pan https://www.fishbook.com/pages/ Shame on all reps for letting the KA! TAPOS TAMAD KA! PURO Bertud ng Hustisya: Pauli sa inyuha! de la Crust, Rai Rai Chen Butanding The-Witty-Siiiimanianz-69 2. Listen to all hugot songs known EIC be summoned! Pagtuon pud sa KA DOTA! PURO KA ALDUB! ‘Matay ning bayhana. Pagtuon ug to the god of requirements for the University have shown that putting However, you don’t have the dough sure Matured Writers Knorr Cubes Elli, Shin Nota Canon, [email protected] Benhur Luy, Run Bylaws inyong SUSG Constitution, oy. Sabi MAG-ARAL KA MUNA! ‘NYETA economics. Undangi mi anang pounds to mankind. paper, ballpen, laptop, and printer books underneath your bed makes to make it work. Just treat them to a Photocopiers Pabebe Isoga, Pusil Duterte, Cherry Ansabe Offendnions expressed in the columns are not pa nga ni Tito Antonio Luna, walang KA! nga dili mana weight! Go home and There is just something about you’re using to finish requirements brains suck all of the concepts and night out at Escan-yo and hopefully, We guarantee you’ll get 4.0 in any Cantokneest Havey Nido those of the columnists and of tWS and of plant kamote. Plant today, harvest Circle Manager Leech Beth Dinaya Siiiiman University. Comments, questions, and nakakaangat sa batas, kahit president listening to the songs you and your to come to life. Apply the love formulas from the books in a jiffy. s/he won’t be present for another subject, even in those feeling-major Coffee Manager Juicy Nailbar suggestions are not appreciated. All submitted ka pa. Bleh. On behalf of this jury, I “Do you agree with the letter tomorrow. Naa naka’y kaugmaon. ex used to love that could change ~ Layin’ Artist Gugma Lumayo manuscripts become the property of tWS. potion to these objects so that you You’ll be an instant Einstein the next week. subjects. Manuscripts will be edited for brewity and request that you publish this answer. requirement in the student assembly?” Pagminyo kay murag gakatol imung Wave Manager Mareng Vanilla ~ you from a procrastinator into a cavities. And one last thing, don’t GIVE Illidan Stormrage, Bachelor of yeah. will instantly fall in love with these day. P.S. runner. In this case, being bitter is Advocate Carlito S. Watuo-ay Jr. Member: Carriage Eggitors Guild of the YOUR BYLAWS to nosy outsiders. ByLaws III requirements. We just want to publish our grades so that Philippines Poor journalists. better. you’ll trust us enough to obey our tips: the weekly sillimanian 4 twsbackpage 30 September 2015 theRANDOMspace: FIRST WORLD PROBLEM. Dahil may kulang na sa food pyramid, nagfile ang tWS ng petition sa Changee.org na ibalik ang mga pancit flavors na ituu sa mga kiosks:

The Original Kalamansi Sweet & Spicy Chilimansi Tatlo lang ang ingredients Kasing-amoy ng kili-kili Ganito ang buhay mo Spicy na nga, maasim pa. para sa lasang ituu: onion, mo. kapag nandyan ako. Sige, ipagsabay mo na garlic and savory chicken ang lahat, dyan ka naman – oo tatlo lang, hindi magaling eh! apat o lima, tatlo lang! #PastillanGurl Compiled by: Pusil Duterte roundup Bisag uno ra Siiiiman-owned mall.. from page 1 Beanche/ CEO Bean Cheng for news writers who exceed 300 said that they know how important words when they write,” Lui said. their store is to Siiiimanians. Clothing lines Walang Forever “Second semester is fast approaching, 21, Cotton Off, and ElmanGo is and a lot of student government set to supply Outfit of the Days representatives will request for more or OOTDs of Sillimanians. benches around the campus. I’m Restaurants Greenwitch, Pizza Hot, sure our company will get richer in and Bikings are still thinking if they the election period. Just give me two will set themselves in SM because they weeks and I’ll prove it,” said Cheng. are still intimidated by SU Cafeteria, Meanwhile, Penshop CEO Barnie which will occupy one fourth of the mall. Lui said that he knows that school paper The Robinsoons board members staff members like the Witty Sillimanianz were speechless and sweaty when tWS (tWS) need a lot of pens for their job. interviewed them about Malayang’s “We have G-Tek for those who incident and the new rising mall. have poor penmanship. We also sell SM construction will start in June Panda for cute writers and Hiatus 2016.~ PEP to.. from page 1 in QPA computation,” Elmen said. are more important than PEP.” Elmen added that since most “We want to teach the guidance AlDub to wed in SU Church, invites Lumads students are taking CWTS and counselors a lesson. Students take By Janaenae Mingdoza ROTC for granted, it is right for CWTS and ROTC for granted yet place we’re looking for,’” said Tuviera. university could address, instead them to take PEP for granted as well. these are more important than PEP. So, Tuviera said that Jamela Mendoza, Yaya of “allowing sensational TV stars They are planning to let guidance we must first convince the counselors; Producers of the noon-time variety Dub’s cousin and a student in SU, gave the capture the minds of Siiiimanians.” counselors who are teaching PEP then they will be the ones who will show “Eight Bulaga!” decided to hold pictures that led her to suggest SU as a venue. “Students should be aware of the experience CWTS and ROTC for convince the students,” Elmen said.~ the wedding of Alden Richards and Moreover, Tuviera said that the Eight problems of our country, not just showbiz, the counselors to “see that these Maine Mendoza or ‘AlDub’ for their Bulaga! team wanted to take a break from gossip, and ways to improve their “Kalyeserye” segment at the Siiiiman the usual studio and barangay set-up. lovelife like that AlDub,” Ansale said. Film festival to be named University (SU) Church, according “[SU] is a romantic place for prenuptial Tuviera clarified that the show already to GMA’s press release last Sept. 27. videos. We fell in love with the Acacia trees considered putting AlDub’s fame to The wedding of the famous loveteam around the campus. I can really imagine ‘good use’ by letting Richards and By Pan de la Crustafter SU PresidentAnother entry is “Ako ay Isang Dukha Lamang,” a story of a student will only be a part of the show. It will be held Alden and Yaya Dub playing hide-and- Mendoza spread awareness on national in August 2016, in time for the Founders seek around the trees,” added Tuviera. THE SIIIIMAN UNIVERSITY who begs for money outside the issues using their social media accounts. (SU) Board of Thrustees (BoT) has campus just to buy the required Day celebration to boost the tourism of the SU Senior Minister Rev. Elmher Saan “We know AlDub’s appeal, especially to decided during the Leader Ship handouts for Real 666 classes. Hibalag Booth Festival and the university. said that he already discussed the Eight the youth. So, we also plan to invite the 100 Council board meeting last Sept. Next is the entry “I Won’t Give Antonet Tuviera, executive producer of Bulaga!’s proposal with the university displaced indigenous peoples of Mindanao 26 to create a film festival named Up On Us,” which narrates the life of a student who struggles Eight Bulaga!, said that they are not ‘rushing’ president. Saan expressed his concern that to the wedding to garner more awareness after SU President Bae Malayang II. the developments of AlDub’s story since the students might value the loveteam CineMalayang, SU’s first film on how to handle her thesis as on the Lumad issue,” Tuviera added. festival, will feature various a requirement for graduation. they just had their second date last Sept. 25 over the church service during August. Under the GMA Network, films in different genres directed “I’m Only Human,” one of at the mansion of Lola Nidora, a character “I’m afraid that people will only go to the Eight Bulaga! is preparing a budget and produced by students, the entries for the festival, tells a in the show played by Willy Bayola. church when they want to see the celebrities to fund 100 Lumad refugees to go faculty, and staff to squeeze their story of a professor who conducts his lecture from 7 a.m. until 7 However, the cast and crew of that film there. My approval came from the AlDub wedding next August. hidden potentials in filmmaking. Eight Bulaga! are already planning the assurance that the show will not BoT Chairman Leanor Billiones p.m. every day without a break “Our team learned about what said that the BoT came up with this because he is handling 100 units. each development or ‘milestone’ in interrupt any worship services,” said Saan. happened with the refugees in the UCCP idea because they have noticed a lot of The last entry is “Kung AlDub’s relationship in the show. As Guidance counselor Lucy Jane Ansale Haran Church last July. Since the church potential filmmakers in the university Malayang Lang Ako.” It shows early as this month, they have already also questioned the administration’s is affiliated with the UCCP, we thought as some teachers require students the adventures of Malayang during his years as SU president. chosen the venue for AlDub’s wedding. approval of the show to use the church. of bringing some of the refugees with us to create films for their projects. “The idea to shoot the wedding “I don’t get why the fake wedding “It would help the Siiiimanians “Kung Malayang Lang Ako” when we go to Dumaguete,” said Tuviera. expand their horizon in the is sponsored and directed by the episode of AlDub in Silliman Church is important enough to be held Bash Telias, president of the film industry,” Billiones said. deans from different colleges came from Yaya Dub [Maine Mendoza] inside our SU church. What will AlDub Fans Club-Siiiiman chapter, Billiones added that the BoT wanted in the university as a pledge of herself. After looking through photos this teach the students?” said Ansale. said that she is starting to organize to bring happiness to Malayang as they their loyalty to the president. Prestigious Awards of the church and photos of Siiiiman, Ansale added that there are more the club so that they can register realized that after two years, he will be we thought na, ‘Hey, this could be the important national issues that the deeply saddened to leave a university Other awards will also be given, such as an organization in the campus. that “became a part of his life.” as Most Applausive Film or Audience “Our registration as an org will allow Top film entries Impact, Most Interesting Director, us to build a booth for next year’s Hibalag, Out of 2,500 film entries, only the top Best Actor, Best Life-Supporting but we still need some support from other Actor, Best Life-Supporting Actor five will compete and be awarded with students so we’re planning to sell AlDub the most prestigious awards in Asia. of the Life Support Actor, Best The first entry and the highlight of Costume Design, among others. merchandise next semester,” said Telias. the festival is “Heneral Emperador,” Meanwhile, Malayang cannot Telias is also planning to make next a film created and produced by SUSG contain his happiness as he year’s AlDub wedding a trending cried upon hearing that the film President Kreek Emperador himself. topic in Twitter using the hashtags “Malalaman na ng Siiiiman festival will be named after him. community ang love story “Uhm… Uhm… I’m really, #AlDubGoesToSilliman, really, really, really, really #AlDubWeddingNa, and namin ni Brandy sa pelikulang ~ ‘to. Bawat scene sa pelikula ay speechless,” said Malayang.~ #MayForeverSaSilliman. sinasagot ang tanong na ‘Siiiiman o si Brandy?’” Emperador said. Heneral Emperador

COME BACK CANTON. Students rally in front of Hibbard Hall to commemorate the one-year anniversary of the banning of pancit canton last Sept. 28. PHOTO BY Pusil Duterte

Quote of the Week “sIIIIMAN O SI bRANDY?” Present this coupon to SM Cinema for a free Heneral Emperador ka-date. ONE MORE DAY. Byblos library is closed for one more day after two dead -hENERAL EMPERADOR bodies were found on the floor during the termite extermination last Sept. 27 at Oriental Hall. PHOTO BY Pabebe Isoga This is the lampoon issue of the Weekly Sillimanian.