In Tom Kerr Tom Why Hooker Throw Why Hooker At Lineouts With Court Williams The Best Rugby World Cup Ever ? My Wallabies Fail Me Fail My Wallabies Finding The Motivation Finding Rugby History Hamish On Rugby Strewth Ask Nantida Five Minutes Ancient Quill

Stew’s Views Views Stew’s

THIS INSIDE exclusive EDITION BANGER BANTER NEWSLETTER : October - December 2011

“You Will Always be A Banger”

6. Message from the Club Chairman. 7. Chris’s jokes to brighten up your day. 9. Club Captain blog on the last quarter. 10. The Colts Captain has his say. 11. The Club Coach writes - you read. Bangers Originals Night 13 16. Ancients speak with Kevin Hulton Smith. 24. Three popular Banger players leave Thailand. 26. Why hookers throw the ball in. 27. World Cup colours and statistics. 28. All you wanted know about tea. Court Williams 18 30. Ex Banger back in England. 31. What’s happening at the Wall Street Bar & Grill. 33. Short answers to short questions : Brett Richards. 34. Why the Wallabies failed at the RWC. 36. Finding the motivation. 37. Satirical Banger advice giver. Hamish Watters 35

4 Banger Banter. October - December 2011 “You Will Always be A Banger”

ater, water everywhere. Life in Bangkok has changed for many over the last few weeks. It has affected everybody including those in the water free zone. There are some tragic stories with people losing all their worldly possessions. One thing you can say about the Thai people, they are resilient and still manage to smile in the face of adversity. That one the joys you notice living here. The flood brought an abrupt halt to the Thai competition Understandable. The Colts were doing well tucking in a couple of wins under the belt. The Colts will just have to go out and do the same next year The Bangers have continued training despite the floods. Lumpini Park has been the venue most Sundays however, Patana International School could be open again shortly. EDITORIAL The Rugby World Cup lived up to its hype. We were indeed Andrew Mc Dowell fortunate in Thailand where coverage was available from three Roberto Guolo Andrew Tatam networks. Tenderloins Sports Bar & Steak House was the Des Gist venue of choice for club members. Some great games even Rick O’Shea in the pools amongst the second tier teams. Geoff McKenna probably deserved to win it but France came a very close Kevin Hulton Smith second. How the game has grown up over the last ten or so Tom Kerr Chris Hartley years. Hamish Watters The Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club 10th Anniversary party Mike Laloli was success, with many of the Originals turning up at the CONTRIBUTORS first headquarters Wall Street Bar & Grill, to celebrate the Jean Francois Klentzi occasion. As would be expected, the party went long into the Court Willams night. There was good mix of players and social members from all eras. PHOTOGRAPHY The Bangers have entered the new Asian Club Championship Robert Brewer with clubs from Singapore, Indonesia, Vietnam, Malaysia, Mike Laloli Philippines and Thailand participating. Great concept and PROOF READER deserves our fill support. It will be interesting to see how Roger Fitzgerald far the club has risen above the mediocre since its humble beginnings. WEBMASTER The Banger Banter our club newsletter is now five years old. Mike Laloli Thanks to all the contributors over the years. The BANGER BANTER is published quarterly by the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club for mem- bers, sponsors and friends of the rugby club. The Editor. Banger Banter can be downloaded from the club web site. Members contribute all editorial and photography. The layout and design is provided by Ruck Graphics - a member of the Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Club

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t seems a long time since the last Banter, maybe that is not helped much by Michael having to wait for my contribution. It seems a while since we have played any games but then I was away in New Zealand at the Rugby World Cup and on my way back the night we played The Bald Eagles. From all accounts, there was a lot of fun and enjoyment on and off the pitch. Before I go any further, I would like to express my sympathy to all who are negatively affected by the floods. Among our membership, some of the luckier among us may be unaffected, but our thoughts have to go out to those whose homes are badly damaged and even perhaps uninhabitable. If you hear of anyone in need please pass it on to the committee to see if there is some way we can help. The Thai Rugby Union season was short this year as we already know and was cancelled in the end due to the disastrous flooding that is affecting thousands in Thailand. We did play two games, which we won convincingly. The games were played in the right spirit and were tough games but clean. It is important that we play our games with a measured effort and with an emphasis of being known as good sports. Bob Pearson tells us we can expect to get our Polo shirts soon so look out for him to claim yours. We have ordered new shorts, and we are in process to place an order for a new Ancients kit. Unfortunately, we have had to pull out of the Chiang Mai Tens, as we could not get a full team together even when we looked at putting a joint team with the Pattaya Panthers. As mentioned above a number of our members and players are affected by the floods. We have a number of family oriented occasions coming up, the first being the weekend in Khao Yai, then in December we will have the Family Carol night. We are looking at arranging a Sponsor Thank You evening, and the Banger Christmas Party will be held as usual in December – which is not far away. Please make an effort to bring the family and to join the other events. Please do not forget to support our sponsors and their products whenever you have a chance, they are extremely important to us and we could not do all the things we organise without their generous support. Please make the effort – let’s make sure all we meet know we are about “Fun, Fraternity, and Friendship”. Lastly, to all members, stay safe and take care. Yours in Banger Rugby Andrew

www.oldbangkokbangers.com

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Joke of the A Drunk Man Went Into Bar Quarter A Man Goes For A Shave There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems asked for another beer, the bartender politely told he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I him that he was too drunk to be served another have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, between your cheek and gum.” the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The client places the ball in his mouth and the The man leaves. He then comes in the other side barber proceeds with the closest shave the man door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is asks in garbled speech, “And what if I swallow it?” too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. “No problem,” says the barber. “Just bring it back He leaves. He then comes in the BACK door, comes tomorrow like everyone else does.” the the bartender, and before he can say a word, the bartender explodes at him. “I told you already, you One Night A Police Officer are way to drunk, you can not have another beer! Get out of my bar!” Disgruntled, the man looks at the One night, a police officer was stalking out a bartender and asks, “Man, how many bars do you particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the work at?” driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the Controlling The Coyote Population curb, and try his keys on five different cars before The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling presenting an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone for controlling the coyote population. left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his It seems that after years of the ranchers using the engine and began to pull away. tried and true method of shooting or trapping the The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped predators, the Sierra Club had a “more humane” the driver, read him his rights and administered the solution to this issue. Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of What they proposed was for the animals to be 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how captured alive. The males would then be castrated that could be. The driver replied, “Tonight, I’m the and let loose again. Designated Decoy.” All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally an old fellow wearing A Married Man Was Having An Affair a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room A married man was having an affair with his stood up, tipped his hat back and said; “Son, I don’t secretary. One day they went to her place and made think you understand our problem here... these love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and coyotes ain’t f*ckin’ our sheep... they’re eatin’ ‘em!” woke up at 8 PM. The meeting never really got back to order. . The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. Jake Was Dying He put on his shoes and drove home. Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He “Where have you been?” his wife demanded. looked up and said weakly: “I can’t lie to you,” he replied, “I’m having an affair “I have something I must confess.” with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.” “There’s no need to”, his wife replied. She looked down at his shoes and said: “You lying “No,” he insisted, “I want to die in peace. I slept with bastard! You’ve been playing golf!” your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!” “I know,” she replied, “now just rest and let the poison work.”

Banger Banter. October - December 2011 7 OWING A BANGER TIME PIECE IS MORE THAN AN INVESTMENT. IF YOU ARE RUGBY FORWARD WITH A PASSION FOR PERFECTION, METICULOUS CRAFTSMANSHIP YOU DESERVE ONE. IT IS ABSOLUTELY SYMBOLIZES THE HIGH END TECHNIQUES OF WATCH MAKING. TO WEAR SUCH A STUNNING TIMEPIECE YOU WILL DRAW ATTENTION AND SET YOU APART FROM THE CROWD, SINCE IT IS DEFINITELY A SYMBOL OF RUGBY STATUS - I AM A BANGER “You Will Always be A Banger”

hat a start to our new season with new players being welcomed and enjoying the Fun, Friendship and Fraternity that our wonderful club is so proud of. Our opening tournament was the Royal Bangkok Sports Club Tournament which took place on Thursday evenings in the glorious surroundings of the Sports Ground. This year three teams took part with the Southerners and the RBSC completing the line up. Having won the tournament last year the jury was out if we could follow up our success with several of our players having moved on to new pastures. We need not have worried as the old and new squad gelled quickly to win all of our games. We celebrated long and hard at the end of tournament party where the superb buffet and complimentary beer accompanied the Banger karaoke effort. Bald Eagles who were on an Asian tour and having Next up, the Old Boys stepped into the limelight at a great time doing it. We started the afternoon with the annual British Club Vinarco International Tens. the Ancients led by Foxy playing the Californian over Once again we were defending champions. A very 50’s Foxy scored his very first try for the Ancients in a different team than won last year, pulled on the tense 5-5 draw. Bangers shirt and battled to the Final. We beat our The Banger Vets then took to the field sans a full old foes, the Southerners with an extra time golden team. A few Ancients were asked to play again and a try which capped off a fine day for veterans rugby couple of Colts were press ganged into the squad. and the mighty Bangers. Our fine running game opened up their defence. A The Thai Rugby Union competition was next with four to two try victory was just reward. I popping up a new format of an A division and two B divisions on the wing for one of the tries. A great night followed with a cross over semi and final. We started at the Red and White with over 100 large Heinekens strongly with two fine wins over a University side hitting the deck. and the Thai Army and at the time of writing, only The Rugby World Cup has been a big part of our need one more win from our final two games to lives for the past couple of months. The Bangers progress to our first semi final of the competition. have enjoyed watching the games at our new home The floods in Bangkok have meant that recent Tenderloins. games have been postponed. I hope that all New Zealand finally got their monkey off their back Bangers will answer the call when we are able to however, the French can be justly proud of their take the field again to turn our potential success performance in the final. It was a real nail biter. into reality! Tour to Chiang Mai has been cancelled but there is Our final match to report was against the California the weekend in Khao Yai. The fun never stops.

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iao. We have had a glorious year so far winning the Royal Bangkok Sports Club tournament again. In the Thai Rugby Union competition we won two pool games until the competition was suspended because of the floods in the Bangkok. I was particularly happy with the way the new guys stepped up and contributed to our hard fought wins in both events. One thing I have learnt from my time with the Bangers is that we never give up. This is now a tradition we should all be proud of. Our club spirit is alive and well. We are proud to wear the Red White & Blue. and to do all we can to uphold our brief history and heritage. Its now our responsibility and our privilege. As players we are grateful to the dedication of the committee that ensure the club moves in the right direction and ultimately results in the Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Club being a great club to play with. We tour each year, hold dinners, and we regularly organise trips and outings. Despite that our most popular events are after our training sessions and matches. That what rugby is all about. The Originals Anniversary night was a proud memory for our club. It was great to see so many of the “Origi- nals” turn up to enjoy the evening with the younger club members. The Colts I am sure can learn a lot from you guys about enjoying your rugby. The Banger Vets have toured the planet, not bad for such a young club. After the recent farewell match for Teru, who is returning to Japan, the Bangkok Japanese made a presen- tation to the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club recognizing ten years of Banger rugby. I was honoured to receive the plaque on behalf of the club. Thanks guys. Its a pity we have had to cancel the trip to the Chiang Mai Tens. I was really looking forward to this one. Tante cose. Roberto

10 Banger Banter. October - December 2011 “You Will Always be A Banger”

he last few months have been a blur, with the Rugby World cup and the challenges and problems we have all had to face personally and profes- sionally with the rampaging flood waters that have held Thailand to ransom for the last six weeks. I know we are facing a national calamity when you cant find our beverage of choice “Heineken” in our local hypermarket. Andy what’s going on with this? The topic of this issue of the Banter is “Discipline” . I was fortunate to travel to New Zealand to watch a number of pool games and finals. It struck me that the teams who maintained ascendency were the teams that maintained their discipline. They listened and obeyed the refs warnings hence kept the ref out of the game and supported each other when things went astray. In the final the All Blacks showed unbelievable discipline in the last ten minutes of the game with the Froggies attacking the gain line over 15 phases by not giving away a penalty. A ruck penalty could have cost them the World Cup and perpetuated the glee of all other nations to call them “chokers”. You could visibly see the players react- ing to the refs call in defence. The Bangers have also during the TRU competition showed both spectrums of the”Discipline” curve. In the game that we lost our discipline we nearly snatched defeat from an unassailable position. Where we main- tained our discipline we had the ascendency all game and came away with a comprehensive victory. Win- ning beers taste much better in this environment. Discipline is bound up in the 3 r’s. • Respect the ref - listen don’t speak unless your the captain. • Respect your team mates - support don’t criticize • Respect the opposition - smash them Fitness helps clarity of thought , which improves discipline so i’m looking forward to the floods reciding and getting back on the training park..

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“You Will Always be A Banger”

he recent Banger Originals Anniversary Party was resounding success. However, the club nearly missed this memorable occasion. It was late in piece that the club committee found out that the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club was close to being ten years old. Rick OShea the publican at Wall Street happened to let the date out of the bag, as he had planned to hold a modest party for the Originals to celebrate the event. Nothing elaborate. For those younger Banger members unaware of our club’s history, the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club was conjured up over a few beers at Wall Street Bar & Grill, during and after, a Super 12 rugby game in September 2001. The Rugby Club was the brainchild of John Beard, an Australian, who was working in Bangkok and a regular Wall Street customer at the time. The idea was tossed around on the infamous Wall Street, Wall of Knowledge by those present and bingo, it was decided to go ahead and form an over 35’s veterans rugby club. They obviously saw a gap in the market!!! The founding members were John Beard, Jake Meerman and Michael “Rick” O’Shea. John pushed for the name of the Old Bangkok Bangers and it stuck. On 12th September 2001 the first club meeting was attended by six people. John Beard was elected the inaugural Chairman, Jake Meerman the Secretary/Treasurer and Rick O’Shea the Thai Rugby Union liaison member. Once the anniversary date had leaked out, the Banger committee got on to it straight away. E-mails flew backwards and forwards between committee members and an anniversary party was proposed. Personal invitations would be sent out to the twenty two Originals that were involved in starting and playing with the Old Bangkok Bangers, to attend an Anniversary Party. In addition, the Old Bangkok Bangers would fund a

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party at Wall Street Bar & Grill, the founding club rooms. Andrew McDowell the Club Chairman, Grant Signal the Treasurer, Mike Laloli and Rick O’Shea undertook the task of tracking down and contacting the Originals and inviting them to the evening. Not all of the Origi- nals live in Thailand these days. Many have retired to their home country or are scattered at other ports around the rugby planet.

The following names are the twenty two Originals invited to attend the Anniversary Party : John Beard, Greg Jackson, Steve Donnelly, Tom Watters, Jake Meerman, Steve Rieger, Peter Bowden, Dave Kennedy, Johnn Jaspers, Keith Coljohn, Alby Adeane, Colin Hastings, Shane Caldwell, Jim Everist, Norman Young, Roger Fitzgerald, David Duffal, Rick O’Shea, Geoff Hodds, Dick Stone, Geoff McKenna, Graham Jackson. The evening started around 6.30pm. Wall Street was spruced up and decked out to fit the occasion. A welcome banner to the Originals was hung on the wall. A truckload of free beer was supplied by Wall Street and Heineken and a fabulous spread of food was supplied by Ten- derloins Sports Bar & Steak House. This was the makings of a great night. Twelve Original members turned up, together with a good cross sec- tion of players and social members from the formative years. The Originals that remain in Bangkok have all moved on from rugby and now ride big motorbikes around Thailand, in a forlorn attempt to keep old age and decrepitude at bay !!! They regularly meet at Wall Street to plan their next ride. It does make an impressive sight when you see the bikes lined up outside the club rooms. Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt from these wise men. This was a memorable evening and one that will be long remem- bered by all those attended. The evening’s formalities were kept to a minimum. Andrew McDowell the Club Chairman, in his address ac- knowledged with admiration and gratitude the role the Originals played during its first ten years of the club and proposed a toast to absent founding members and friends. John Beard has a lot to answer for. Each Banger Original attending, received a framed certificate as a memento, celebrating their ten years with the club they helped start. The new generation Bangers that turned up, got quickly into the spirit of the occasion partied hard as you would expect they would. The tone of the night lent itself to that. The atmosphere and camaraderie was second to none. It would seem everyone regarded the anniversary night as an out- standing success. Rick O’Shea was certainly pleased to see the club rooms full and the cash register ticking over after the free beer ran out. It was a late night early morning affair for many. Like most anniversary occasions, you hear plenty of remarkable and humorous yarns told with scant regard to the truth. Never let the truth spoil a good story. Ultimately, someone pipes up with “We could write a book about that”. Perhaps someone should.

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ell, at last reports, Still alive anyway,.... remember, no kicking in open play! What a great turnout for the Vinarco 10’s Ancient’s Game at Patana Sports Complex! We had 24 willing, and almost able,veterans enthusiastically take to the field for a contest of fun, frolic and friendship. As usual “Oncewasasuperman”, our gallant Chairman, joined the field. The fact that he kicked off to his own team went unnoticed, but caused some confusion, as they were all on the halfway line, while our team were standing back, waiting for the ball. However sanity was restored and the unique Catch-and-Grab Ancients type game progressed at the usual furious pace. The Chairman, who still claims to be “faster than a tall building” managed to stay on the field longer than his normal thirty seconds. Perhaps he was hoping to make amends for the wrong direction kick-off by causing more confusion, as no one was sure whose side he was playing for. I was expecting him to score over his own try line, but he says own-goals are for pussies like soccer players. The game was played in tremendous spirit. All players following the rules to the letter and paying very care- ful attention to the off-side rule and keeping five yards back at the breakdown Thanks to the referee (Mr Signal,Sir), the “roll-the-ball” method of release worked very well and added to the flow of the game. It also gave the odd players who needed it, (only a couple) a chance to catch their breath again. As per the Rules of Ancient Rugby, the score line ended with the mandatory draw. Thanks to every one who took part. Our team list is growing with every game and the players are becoming more and more skilled in our particular and peculiar brand of the great game. Particular thanks are due to the four Gheckos and the two Japanese who joined in the frolic. We hope to see you involved again, and recommend that you introduce this type of Ancients Rugby to your own respec- tive clubs. The strip is beginning to suffer from continued abuse (and also from wear on the field), It is starting to look like it was worn by the original Webb Ellis side. We have been promised a new kit soon although the design and style is, for some reason, a carefully guarded secret. Maybe it’s by Versace?. Keep up the good work fellas, We’ll see you all at the next venue.

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Court Williams Banger Colt Old Bangkok Bangers v Thai National Team 2010 “You Will Always be A Banger”

with

he didn’t have a better explanation for how he added fifty pounds of muscle to his body through his career, or how he was hitting a baseball farther as he got older. Check the before and after photos. The bat looked like a tooth- pick in his hands. BANTER : Rugby was not the sport you played back in the US. You played American Football I understand ? COURT : I starting playing American football in high school. I played tight end, which translates to: “We don’t think you are strong enough to be a full time blocker, and we don’t think you are fast enough to be a full time receiv- er. Let’s split you between blocking and receiving”. I had a few highlights throughout my career, the pinnacle being when I caught a touchdown pass during the Homecom- ing game. (High schools celebrate homecoming shortly after the school year begins. It culminates with a dance the next night). My glory was short lived, however, as a penalty was called on the play and my touchdown did not count. Needless to say, my date the next night was not impressed with my nullified touchdown against an inferior team we were already beating. BANTER : Presumably you had heard of rugby. What was your first exposure to the game? COURT: I honestly can’t recall anything before my first BANTER : Court. Thanks for finding the time training session at Patana. I vaguely remember watching for the interview. COURT : The pleasure is mine. BANTER : Tell us about yourself, where born, age, raised, family, interests, sports experi- ence...? COURT : I was born in Olympia, Washington, in the northwest part of the USA and ad the youngest of four boys. My family eventually moved to the Washington DC area, where I lived for twelve years before moving to Thai- land. The first sport I played was baseball, and eventually American football. BANTER : Who were some of your sporting heroes as a kid ? COURT : As baseball was my sport of choice when I was young, most of my heroes were baseball players. Mark McGwire is the first one that comes to mind. I remember him as a home run hitting machine in the late 80s and through the 90s. You might remember him for lying to the US Congress about his use of performance enhancing drugs. He recently came clean about his obvious use. I guess

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something on ESPN at 3.00am years ago, and being thoroughly confused. It must have been rugby. Before my first training session I found a web site called, ‘Rugby for Dummies’. Yes, it is a real web site and I frequent it routinely. BANTER : When you arrived in Bangkok, how did you end up playing with the Bangers ? COURT : Well, that credit goes to Christo Lemmers. He and I were teaching at the same school. Christo’s favorite thing to do when he was drunk was recruit me for the Bangers. Luckily he usually forgot the conversation we had the night before. He eventually wore me down. I regret not having agreed to play earlier. BANTER : Now that you have a season under your belt, how do you enjoy the game? COURT : I love it. I really enjoy the continuous play. It’s something that American sports lack. Even if you aren’t the biggest or strongest, but have some speed and endurance, you can still be an asset. It’s great that every player has the opportunity to handle the ball. American sports are very specialized. In rugby, even though we have forwards and backs, both groups do many of the same things during a match. BANTER : We have a lot of Americans in the rugby club these day. What was your motivation to come out to Bangkok ? COURT: I had been teaching for two years in the States and was looking for a new adventure. Thailand’s substandard hiring practices allowed me to slip through the cracks and find a job here. I’ve been here for almost four and a half years. BANTER : What have you enjoyed most about your experience on the Banger Colts team? COURT: I really enjoyed the Bangkok International Tens tournament. It really showed me how popular rugby is worldwide, with so many teams traveling to the tournament. I’m looking forward to the next one. BANTER : You must be doing something right. You were selected as the Newcomer Of The Year in 2010? COURT : Go back and check the other nominees. I think I was the only one in attendance that night. Even so, I’m putting it right next to my nullified touchdown in the ‘Court Williams Pantheon of Sport Achievements’ BANTER : The Banger Colts have had a great season so far winning the Royal Bangkok Sports Club tournament and stringing up a couple of victories in the Thai Rugby Union competition. You must be happy to be part of winning team? COURT: It’s great to be a part of a winning team team but, the best part about the Bangers is regardless if we win or lose, we celebrate and look forward to the next match. BANTER : Do you enjoy the training? COURT: It’s not always my first choice of an activity on a Sunday afternoon after a long weekend, but it is what has helped me become a better player because of my lack of experience. The club does a great job of making novice players feel welcomed. BANTER : Would you play rugby when you return home to the US ? COURT: I plan to. I’ve done some research and found several clubs where I’m from. BANTER : You have obviously following the Rugby World Cup and the USA Eagles. Any comment? COURT: We definitely have the athletes, but it’s hard to outplay experience. At least we beat Russia! BANTER : Where do you think USA rugby will be in say 10 years? COURT: Well, we can only get better. USA rugby needs to follow the USA soccer model. Soccer has come a long way in the past twenty years. We aren’t a powerhouse, but at least we are more competitive. The same can happen for USA rugby. BANTER : Court, Thanks for your time and best of luck for the rest of the season?

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Banger Banter. October - December 2011 21

Contact : EDDIE EVANS

Barbecue Store 21 Sukhumvit Soi 39 Sukhumvit, Bangkok “You Will Always be A Banger”

Adirek “Earth” Muliwass Adirek or “Earth” as he preferred to be known, has been a member of the club for seven years. An athletic and skilful player, Earth played many of his games as an outside back or as a loose forward. His ver- satility has proved invaluable for the Bangers squads at all levels. Last year, his rugby talent were recognized by the Thai Rugby Union and was selected to play for Thai National Team in the Asian Champi- onships in Bombay. During the Bangkok International Tens 2011, he was invited to play for the Bobby Skinstead Jam Boys select side that won the tournament. Adirek has recently completed his MBA and has taken up an assign- ment in Bejing with The Royal Thai Embassy. We wish him and his young family the best of luck in China. James Corlett

James was only with the club a couple of seasons and quickly rose to prominent. A quick and deceptive winger coupled with his ability to shrug and bounce off tackles. He displayed an aptitude for both sevens and the fifteen a side game. Score some important tries to seal games, through his pace and finishing. A talented game-breaker who saved the Banger bacon on more than one occasion. James seem to enjoy the life in Bangkok and thrived in the club social life. His departure was surprise. We wish James all the best back in England. There are rumors circulating that he may come back.

Lauren Notenboom A tough as teak French forward whose take no prisoners presence on the field was always a major asset to the Banger cause. The hard work he puts in on the field was something his team mates respected. This was especially noticeable in and around the breakdown, where he was both a powerful tackler and very good at competing for the ball once the tackle had been made. He was a fine handler of the ball, astute reading of the game and capable of making his presence felt all over the field. Lauren was also a great club man and with other member of the Banger French community, got involved in all club events. We wish Lauren’s and his family our best wishes in new appointment in Barce- lona, Spain.

24 Banger Banter. October - December 2011

“You Will Always be A Banger”

n the modern kind than this individual, and it is a waste of his game it is the task valuable time and services to put him to the task of the hooker to of throwing in. Our plan is to give the ball to one of throw the ball into our short hookers as some kind of a short rest for the line-out. It hasn’t him from his very arduous labours in the front row always been the of the scrum.” way, with earlier eras The 1905 All Blacks original tactics did not catch assigning the role to on, and the half-back continued to undertake the the winger, half-back role of throwing the ball into the line-out. By the or other positions. late 1940s it was finally recognised that the line-out The laws of rugby could be an attacking vehicle to unleash the back- have never ordained line, and that the half-back had to be ready to take which position must the ball from the forwards. throw the ball into However, it was not the hooker who took over from the line-out – it has the half-back, but the blindside winger. The theory always been left to tradition, evolution and individual behind replacing the half with the winger was that circumstances and preference to decide. not only would gains be made by having the half- By the 1890s convention had seen the role fairly back ready to attack, but the winger had the neces- settle upon the shoulders of the team’s half-back. sary speed to sweep around and support in any Looking back from today, it is probably seen as a backline movement, as well as provide additional rather strange option. However, at that time, team’s cover defence. carried two half-backs, with one either side of the Some international wingers from the 1960s-70s are scrum (left and right). fondly remembered for their ability to accurately At the line-out the usual practice was for the for- throw the ball into the line-out, including the Wal- wards to try and catch the ball, and whether suc- labies twin wingers James and Stewart Boyce, as cessful or not, the ball was soon on the ground well as All Blacks winger Grant Batty. where all the forwards would compete in a standing Batty wrote in his biography that: “Smart coaches ruck and shoving contest. That the half-back had know that a winger who can throw-in accurately is thrown the ball into the line-out mattered little, as he as good as an extra lineout jumper, because coor- had plenty of time to regain his position behind his dination and timing between thrower-in and jumper forwards before the ball emerged – more often than is all important to ensure adequate lineout posses- not it ended with the referee blowing his whistle and sion is won.” ordering a formal scrum. That’s not to suggest that only wingers could throw The only other option taken at the line-out was to the ball at a line-out, with exceptions in teams throw long to a fast man at the end of the line, and across the globe. John Reason and Carwyn James hope to escape up and across field before any con- note the example of the “Le grand Béziers”: test amongst the forwards could eventuate. “It is interesting to see that the wheel has come When the first New Zealand All Blacks arrived in full circle in that Beziers, the French club cham- England in 1905, they brought with them a formation pions, and the most successful club in the world that figured just one half-back and two five-eighths. throughout the middle and late seventies, again They also used the line-out as a chance to get the used the scrum half-back to throw in.” ball out to their backs. Both of these changes were Commencing in the mid 1960s and complete by a revelation to the game in Britain, as the All Blacks’ the late 1970s, it came to be the norm at line-outs Dave Gallaher and Billy Stead explained in their for coaches to opt to make use of the hooker, who 1906 book for the most part had until then been an idle by- “In England the scrum half is usually delegated to stander at the front of the line. It had taken nearly do the throwing in. This is a mistake. Nobody is or 70 years for the example provided by the 1905 All should be better able to institute an attack of any Blacks to be followed.

26 Banger Banter. October - December 2011 “You Will Always be A Banger”

ou know I was really looking forward to the World Cup. Not only did Ireland have a chance of going all the way but it was going to be a great opportunity to get together with the Bangers to watch a few games. Actually the latter was a better bet, and would be more fun. Anyway, after watching a few of the early games and putting behind me the headline grabbing nonsense about England’s black strip (I don’t’ mean Tuilagi jumping off a ferry – or was that a fairy) I thought what is it about the colour black that it got such a bad name throughout all civilisations. No I’m not going into another anthropological dissertation about primitive belief systems. However, prefix the following with black and see what you get – death, arts, mail, hole, magic, and decker. Now take the word white and prefix it to – knight, wedding, lightning, Tom Kerr - Club Coach 2003 - 7 house, wash. Why is black bad, white is good, blue is rude (of course the French and Italians wear it), green is (don’t any of you dare to refer to the intellectual capacity of my country of birth) environmentally desirable, pink is gay (sorry British club rugby club). I suppose a white fern stands my thesis on it’s head. Now let’s talk about so-called stats. Watching the games of the World Cup is like watching the Wall Street ticker (not the Soi 33 version). We have constant stats for possessions, territory, kicks to touch, missed tackle, offloads, passes, lineouts lost etc. etc. Now, if we take the same approach to these stats as with colours and add random associations then we see, that we should not get carried away from our core love of the purity of old fashioned rugby speak where buzz words and stats were not needed. Here we go :- Possessions Exorcism Now, don’t start me about the inane so-called pundits Territory Occupied populating our screens on obscure TV channels in Kicks to touch Hey darling …..it’s over between the four hundredth replay of Wayne Looney’s red card, or should that be Red Looney’s Waynecard. Metres gained Penile enlargement Missed tackle Katoey’s loss There was one cheap-suit wearing anaemic nobody trying to analyse the statistics. who had worked on oil rigs or Offloads That’s what condoms are for timeshares in Obscursistan, and qualifying under the 3 Passes Nice shoes …. Do you f#@& year residency rules (excluding home country leave within Passes Who stole my coke the taxable allowance), had earned an international . He got it all wrong, again and again and again. I’d love to find his facebook and add Trevor Day as a friend. At the end of the day the real honest story comes from your rugby mates. What wrong with saying about your team ‘we were shite’ . That’s it in black and white.

Banger Banter. October - December 2011 27 “You Will Always be A Banger”

ea, the most universally consumed of all beverages, is made from the leaves of Camellia sinensis, a tree that in its wild state can reach a height of 10 meters. It is native to Assam, China and Japan. Tea was brought to Europe by the Dutch in 1610 and to England in 1644. It arrived in America in the early eighteenth century. Tea growing in China and Japan dates back to prehistoric times, but it was not started in India and Ceylon until 1865. India and Ceylon are the largest tea exporters in the world. The largest tea import to the United States comes from Japan and Formosa; England and Russia import enormous quantities from India and China respectively. China is the largest producer of tea but does not lead in the export trade. Tea is grown both on open fields and on terraced hillsides. It requires a warm climate with a very heavy rainfall 90-200 inches a year. For Geoff Mckenna - Banger Class of 2002 fine tea, the first one or two tiny leaves which appear at the end of each twig during “flushes” or growing periods, are picked. The third and fourth leaves are used only in course teas. These pickings occur 10 to 25 times a year in Formosa and every 10 to 12 days in Ceylon. The principle difference in teas lies in the treatment of the leaves. Black tea comes from leaves that, partly dried, are piled up to ferment before being toasted. Green tea comes from leaves that have been fired immediately after harvesting, and is not fermented. Oolong tea is semi fermented. The best known grades of tea are Pekoe, Orange pekoe, Souchong, Lapsang, Congou and Oolong. Infusions of tea contain aromatic substances, caffeine and tannin. It is a pleasant, stimulating drink which, when taken in moderate quantities aids the digestion and in hot countries constitutes one of the best ways to drink water, since this must necessarily be boiled before it is used. Tea is very delicate and must be kept in air-tight containers in a dry place, well away from any food whose odors might contaminate it. The teapot, for the same reason, must be kept exclusively for making tea. Only pure water must be used to make it and that as free from lime (calcium) as possible. It is very important to rinse the teapot first by rinsing it out with boiling water. When this has been done, the tea is put in, one teaspoon for each person plus “one for the pot”. The water must be absolutely boiling and the infusion will be ready after 5 or 6 minutes, after this time it becomes too strong, charged with tannin. ( That is why teapots which cut off contact between the tea leaves and the infusion are to be recommended, as are tea-balls and tea-spoons). Certain brands of tea are sold in muslin or paper sachets, each containing enough tea for one or two cups. These sachets are practical because they allow the tea always to be made to the same strength and easier to check for the right infusion levels at the right moment. Lipton and Twinings, of course, being the market leaders worldwide in this type of tea packaging. Some teas claim certain health or beauty benefits which may or may not be able to be proven in clinical studies. Personally, I don’t drink that much tea, I find that it kills the taste of my beer.!

28 Banger Banter. October - December 2011

“You Will Always be A Banger”

Stewart Gorman - London, Banger 2007 -10

ood day my fellow Bangers. Delighted to see that things are going well in the Thai Rugby Union cometition with the Bangers doubling our number of previous wins prior to this season. Keep up the good work chaps. I’ve not managed to play a game yet this season but went to the London Double Header at Twickenham for the opening of the Aviva Premiership Season. At the time of writing it’s semi-final stage in the Rugby World Cup and for this Englishman the tournament is over and due to the time difference a difficult one to follow, watching the matches over a bowl of cereal. Since England lost to France a number of analysts have been talking about changes of personnel. Martin Johnson’s days as coach seem numbered but not sure who would do a better job. Shaun Edwards has been mentioned as a possible replacement but the favourite option seems to be a temporary coach and then invite Clive Woodward to return to the job once he has completed his London Olympics work. The media coverage here has not been good for English rugby with the stories focused on off the field activities. Personally I don’t have any objections to the high jinx they got up to off the field. I always thought that the beauty of the the game. Interesting how times have changed. I’m currently reading Brian Moore’s (the old England hooker) auto- biography. One of the stories he mentions is that when the Lions beat Australia 2-1 back in 1989 he got very drunk downing bottles of wine and after the players dinner he went off on his own and was running across Bridge impersonating an aeroplane. He goes onto say that approaching him in a taxi was two sports reporters who asked the taxi to stop got him to share the ride with them, took him back to his hotel and nothing was ever reported in the media. Some young players are being put forward as coming into the Eng- land Squad for the six nations. Of the ones being mentioned I think the stand off Owen Farrell looks good but one of the others being mentioned is Christian Wade. A very quick winger who I think has got a try in every game so far including a hat-trick against Leicester. The trouble is he looks too small to me, will struggle with the high ball and looks lightweight in defence but given a bit of space no one will catch him. Of the semi final combinations, both are too close to call and the only prediction I would give is if it is a New Zealand - Wales final, the All Blacks will win. Any other final and it could go either way so you boys who are watching at a decent time have a great few days out over the next two weekends while I eat my cereal.

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30 Banger Banter. October - December 2011 “You Will Always be A Banger”

he Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club celebrated their 10th anniversary last month. Wall Street Bar & Grill was the original club rooms of the Bangers all those years ago. I am sure you know the story by now. How a few of us Originals got together after a Super 12 game and come up with the idea to start a over 35’s rugby team. The Banger “Originals” party was a great night with many of the players from that era turning up. Free beer was available donated by both Wall Street and Heineken. Some very impressive plaques were given out to the founding fathers. That ends quite an era. The Shanghai Shaggers the first club the Old Bangkok Bangers ever played also turned 10 years old this year. Some of the Shaggers will be in town shortly for a flying visit but nothing has been planned at this stage aside from the numerous beers on the Wall Of Knowledge. Rick O’Shea - Banger Class of 2002 It’s a pity the Thailand International Rugby Sevens, a highlight of the rugby year had to be cancelled due to the current flood situation. Wall Street generally sponsors the Lloyd McDermott aboriginal development team from Australia. Most of the team decided to come to Thailand anyway and enjoyed a few days in Phuket. Grammar Carlton from , another Bangkok Sevens regular, also turned up with Rod Dalton leading the charge. The mighty All Blacks won the Rugby World Cup in a tight game against a spirited French team. The monkey of twenty four years has finally been lifted. It was a really tough match. Most of the pundits picked the All Blacks to win by a margin. Thankfully, the men for Aotearoa had their feet on the ground. The choking tag can now be given to some other team. There has been seven world cups and six of them have been won by the Tri-Nations sides. This is my last write up for the Banger Banter. I want to thank everybody who have supported Wall Street over the years. Its been a great ride. Its pleasing to see the Bangers are thriving and doing so well in the local competition. I guess we did the right thing tens years in starting the club.

Banger Banter. October - December 2011 31

“You Will Always be A Banger”

Where were you born ? Rochester, Kent, England What do you do for a crust ? Teacher, Heathfield international school The name of your first rugby club ? Medway RFC Did you ever play first grade rugby? Nope Where do you call home? Onnut, Bangkok, Thailand Five words that describe you ? Relaxed, easy-going, lazy, happy, fat. Whats is a phrase you use often? Whos going for a beer after the game !!! Are you superstitious? No What’s your favourite music? Brit indy rock What is the most surprising thing that’s ever to happen to you ? I went to live in Thailand as a teacher. What’s a common misperception people have of you ? That I eat lots. I just eat badly Whats your ideal night out ? Game of rugby, beer and food with the lads, nightclub with the last remaining lads. Other sports that you played: ? Football. In a nutshell, what is philosophy of life ?. Don’t let things get you down. Always look at the good parts of Best rugby memory? life not the bad. When i first started going to rugby and realising how cool it was. After a busy day what would be the perfect way to relax ? By the pool,in the sunshine with my ipod and book Rugby player you admire most ? Simon Shaw What motivates you to be focused and driven? Money Sporting event you would most like to attend ? Monaco F1 What’s your favourite food? I love Thai food but a good steak has to be the ultimate. Three people you would invite to dinner and why? Martin Johnson, Jessica Alba and the missus. What is your greatest talent or party trick? To be one of the last men standing on most nights out. QUICK FIRE: Book you are currently reading or have just finished ? Comedy or action ? Action Edge of battle - Dale Brown Books or films? Films Favourite TV programme:? Beer or spirits? Spirits Dexter Fast food or health eating? Fast food Favourite film:? Night in or night out? Out Lethal Weapon Hamburger or street food? Street food Rock Music or Jazz? Rock Most enjoyable holiday location:? Heineken or Singha ? Heineken Any Island in Thailand Blonde or Brunette? Brunette Person you would most like to meet ? Valentino Rossi FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND: Sportsperson you admire most? Best Airline ? Sinapore Lawrence Dallaglio Politics ? Dont care too much Hobbies? Religion ? Definitely don’t care Riding fast motorbikes, reading, watching movies Sex ? Asian girls Biggest influence on career ? Reality TV ? Hate it Parents Red Shirts ? Think they have a point Best career advice you were given ? Soccer ? Liverpool Keep trying the lottery Living in Asia ? Sunshine, fun, Bangers and good friends

Banger Banter. October - December 2011 33 “You Will Always be A Banger”

he wheels fell off the Wallaby machine. I try James O’Connor at No 10 against the Barbar- was in New Zealand for the Wallaby - All ians? O’Connor was, with David Pocock, the World Black, Ireland and Springbok clashes. Cup standout for the Wallabies, and it is time to give What can I say, we were outplayed by better him more responsibility by either playing him at five- sides. My boys just couldn’t get it together. eighth or inside-centre. Were did it all go wrong? Did the World Cup The scrum is a serious problem area, so they should come a couple of years too early? bring in a forwards doctor and sort it all out. Ewen McKenzie must also be involved as a consultant Maybe. But it should not be used as an excuse because he has the strongest of relationships with so because they had the required mix of youth and many important Wallabies. experience to do better than finishing third. They looked like they were never going to beat the All And if the Wallabies are to persist with their territory Blacks on New Zealand soil, but a finals appear- game, by tossing away so much possession through ance rather than being involved in a meaningless kicking it down field, then why not get someone who bronze-medal game, would have been a far more can teach them how to kick. appealing outcome. If the Wallabies are able to hold on for another four However, their inability to think on their feet years to the current talents and build a stronger for- against Ireland was their downfall and, to be per- ward pack, they are a chance for the next World Cup. fectly honest, they were completely outplayed by Who will be coaching the Wallabies in four years is South Africa in the quarter-finals but still some- open to debate now. Dingo Deans needs to improve how sneaked through. Third is better than getting his win-loss ratio. The 2013 British and Irish Lions knocked out in the quarters, but it shouldn’t cam- tour of Australia will be crucial for him in the decision ouflage the fact a Wallabies overhaul is required. making process. I am a betting man and sure he can The Wallabies have a few weeks off before head- put it together. ing to London and Cardiff to play the Barbarians Still training. But a lot of work to do. Took my jogging and Wales, It should be treated as an important gear to Auckland but never got around to taking out few weeks where the Test selectors can experi- of the suitcase. Great party atmosphere down there ment. With Quade Cooper injured a Test pivot and of course I ran into a few old mates. The rest is needs to be found. Berrick Barnes will be given history See ya round. a chance on the tour at five-eighth, but why not Bazza

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34 Banger Banter. October - December 2011 “You Will Always be A Banger”

his was the claim by many in New Zealand but in reality, it is questionable it could match the tournaments in France in 2007 and Australia in 2003. Granted, New Zealand is a much smaller country and they did try very hard to put on a great show. However there were issues with high ticket prices, stadiums unfilled even at big games, transport in Auckland left a lot to be happy with. There were instances of price gouging in restaurants and bars. In general, the Kiwis are a very friendly people although some of the youth were a bit intimidating at night. Rugby is a religion in New Zealand and it is probably the only country where the sport is embraced by the whole nation. When it was announced that Dan Carter was injured it was like a death in the family. It was front page news in the papers and on the Tom Watters - Club Captain 2002 national TV news. It even knocked the stricken oil spilling container ship off top spot and this has the potential to be a national environmental disaster. The IRB, quite rightly came in for a lot of criticism. There was the England ball changing which was a blatant violation of the Laws but no action was taken. Then they fined two Samoans for wearing mouth guards with unofficial logos on them. The Scottish Team was told on the night of their close defeat by England that they had to be out of their hotel by 9.00am the next morning. They fine the French Team for their standing V against the Haka. If the Kiwis can do the Haka then other teams should be able to do what they want in response. Then they ban on bagpipes in the stadiums. There is no greater call to battle than the sound of the pipes. On the funny side they had Richie McCow and Sonny Baa Williams. The former was a black calf with what looked like the silver fern logo on its forehead and the latter was a sheep which was not as fast as Sonny Bill. Both of these were used the same way as that famous octopus was during the Football World Cup but with not the same skill. I had the great privilege to be invited by my good friend Gavin Hastings, to a reception in aid of the Bill McLaren Foundation. Bill, as many of you would know, was the greatest rugby commentator of all time and was nicknamed the Voice of Rugby. He passed away last year and a foundation was set up to promote the values which Bill enthused both as a teacher and a commentator, the first of which was respect for others. At the event, were several ex rugby players including John Kirwin who had some lovely words to say about Bill whom he had heard commentating when John sat with his father as a young boy. He said it was some of his words which made him really interested in the game. At the reception, they auctioned of three of these limited edition sheets for the New Zealand v France, Cup final in 1987 and they were bought by one buyer for $6,500 each. I think that rugby is the greatest game ever, maybe not a religion but close to it. There is nothing like the camaraderie among supporters. Around town, in the bars and at the stadiums fans from both teams and from other parts of the world would mix with each other, share banter and beer and have a great time. You would never see this in soccer where huge sums of money are spent keeping fans apart. To answer the title question, it may not have been the best RWC ever but it was bloody good and congratulations to the Kiwis for putting on a great show and for making us most welcome.

Banger Banter. October - December 2011 35 “You Will Always be A Banger”

inding motivation to train or stick with exercise on a regular basis isn’t always easy. Demanding schedules, burn-out, and illness are just a few of the things that may interrupt your fitness routine. However, sometimes motivation can be found by following a very simple formula. Goal setting based upon the S.M.A.R.T. approach, is a simple technique that provides structure for your training program. Many athletes and coaches successfully use this formula to set both short and long-term training goals. The S.M.A.R.T. principle • Set Specific Goals. Research shows that specific goals are the most motivating. A specific goal is to reduce your 5K time by 30 seconds within 6 months. Many people just say they want to get faster. This goal is far too general to really motivate you in your training. • Set Measurable Goals. Simply saying that you want to get faster is not enough detail. You need to be able to chart and document progress toward your goal. One way to measure your progress is to document your performance at set intervals. In the above example you may want to time your 5K performance once a month so you have a good measurement. • Set Adjustable Goals. This means your goals are flexible enough to accommodate unexpected challenges without becoming obsolete. An injury may force your to modify your goal. If you goal is too run a certain marathon and you are injured, you may need to change your goal to do the half marathon, or some other event. An injury doesn’t need to mean you abandon all your plans. At the same time, you may find you are progressing quickly and need to raise your goal. • Set Action-Oriented Goals. Another important aspect of goal-setting to to keep them focused on personal action. Don’t forget to consider not only what you want to achieve, but how you plan to achieve it. Consider reading books on designing a personal exercise program and principles of sports conditioning for tips on fitness training plans. • Set Realistic Goals. Start where you are, and increase your goals accordingly. If you haven’t ever run a 5K it’s probably not a wise goal to say you want to run a marathon. While that may be your long-term goal, in the short-term you may want to shoot for the 5K and 10K and half marathon on the way to your marathon goal. This sort of progression is healthy and realistic. Also, keep in mind that as you become more and more fit and near your full potential the room for continued improvement gets smaller. Similarly, if your goals are too simple, you won’t feel much satisfaction by attaining them. Only you truly know what is realistic for you. • Set Time-based Goals. Look again at first example: reduce your 5K time by 30 seconds within 6 months. This is specific and time-based. Without a time line there is a tendency to procrastinate or get bored. You may also need to set interim goals with shorter timelines to keep you on track. Consider the previous example of working up to a marathon by completing shorter distances first. each of those because a separate goal with a shorter timeline. In general, goals that stretch out beyond 6 months are too long to keep you interested and motivated. Try to re-evaluate your goals every 2-3 months. Goal setting is an art as well as a science, but if you make sure your goals follow the S.M.A.R.T. formula, you will find you are more likely to stay motivated and reach goal after goal.

36 Banger Banter. October - December 2011 “You Will Always be A Banger”

Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Therapist

ring is on her finger. Unless you want to hold her purse at Center World, have her mother and ex- tended family move in with you or when you buy her a gold bracelet, my recommendation is to nip this relationship in the bud. Trade her in for new model. Nantida, I keep hearing about people driving their Toyota’s and getting in accidents because their accelerator Nantida sticks. That got me wondering about my golf cart My Russian born wife and I are going through a What should I do if the pedal sticks on my cart on a messy divorce and I need your help. For legal pur- Saturday? Got any advice for me? poses, and to be somewhat professional, I’ll refer to Sticky Pedal her as the Plantiff, which is a lot better than what I This really depends on how many beers that you actually want to call her. Apparently, Mrs. Plantiff’s have had. If you have consumed between one and lawyers say that my B100,000.00 in golf clubs and three, run the cart into a sand trap. It works just like accessories is regarded as community property and those runaway truck ramps you see in the moun- that I owe her half. I feel that not right! She’s never tains. If you have had between four and six, just fall touched them, and in fact, all she ever did was com- out and roll because you won’t feel anything any- plain that I spent more time with my clubs than with way. her. What should I do? Nantida Had It Up To Here I have an embarrassing topic to bring up with you. Sounds like Mrs, Plantiff has decided to make this I’ve noticed that I don’t look good in my Banger polo divorce personal. Here’s my advice. My guess is shirt anymore, especially now that I have hit my 40’s that your little woman amassed a collection of her and gained some weight. I saw a photograph of own while you were miserably married. You’ll prob- me at a recent rugby tournament and realized that ably have to search but it’s there somewhere. It I have what can best be described as man boobs -- could be some collectable jewelry, or some over- or as my wife calls them ... MOOBS. Like I said, it’s priced personal items she bought at Central Chid- embarrassing. I need help. I’ve heard of a French lom on the card. Go after those keepsakes After all, invention that is supposed to reduce man boobs by according to her legal precedent, they are commu- 40%. What’s it called? nity property. She’ll hate you for it, but at this point, Moob Man my guess is you would rather sleep with your Taylor Believe it’s called a treadmill! Sounds like you need Made driver than your wife better known as Mrs. to get some exercise. Join the Bangers on Sunday Plantiff. at Patana International School would be good start. Nantida Nantida My Thai fiancee will not let me go on a once-in-a- My wife is frustrated with me and says I spend too lifetime trip to the Rugby World Cup in Auckland much money socializing with my rugby mates. She with my mates. She says I need to save the money said that she wants me to spend the same on her. I for our wedding. I have been very generous to her was informed that I can’t go met my friends to watch and the extended family. I have done my sums and the Rugby World Cup Final at the pub next weekend believe I can afford it and the wedding. However, until I buy her something that goes from 0 to 200 in on this issue she won’t budge. What’s your advice? two seconds flat. What do I do? I Love My Rugby No Money No Rugby A woman who will not let you go to the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand is definitely going to drop the Buy her some bathroom scales and then make a hammer on future outings with your friends once the quick dash to the door.

Banger Banter. October - December 2011 37