Addressing the Issues of LGBTQ Cultural Competency

Richmond Bar Association Bench Bar Conference 2019 PREPARED BY: COLLEEN M. QUINN, ESQ. LOCKE & QUINN PERSONAL INJURY & FAMILY LAW ATTORNEYS PO BOX 11708 RICHMOND, VA 23230 [email protected] 804-545-9406 Respect Your Clients & Prospective Clients.

By knowing and using proper and respectful terminology

Know the Letters:

L G B Bisexual T Q /Questioning I GNC Gender Non-Conforming A Asexual AND

ARE TWO DIFFERENT CONCEPTS… SEXUAL ORIENTATION is who you go home to

GENDER IDENTITY is who you go home as. Respect secondary sexual characteristics. secondary sexualindescript or nondescript genitalia or chromosomaldifferences that create Intersex: gender. assigned birth sex, but who generally do not desire to full live desire generally not sex, do who birth but assigned Cross spectrum. a is Gender patterns speech (voice). hairstyles, jewelry,physical interactions,characteristics,and mannerisms, social behaviors and characteristics areexpressedgrooming, throughdress, movement, characteristics that arereferred commonly feminine. or masculine to as either These - maymay conform socially or not the to : externalsexor body assigned at (i.e. birth listed certificate).birth their on their status,with maymay which correspondother or not some or woman,a Gender Identity: Gender stereotypical behavior. worldrefuses and to conform behavior to anytheir gender Gender Queer: is differentsocietal from expectations and/orstereotypesrelated to gender. - Non Gender -Dresser: Biologically, a person who was born with both and male or male femaleand both with Biologically, born was who person a Conforming: A term for people who dress in clothing not typically worn by their by their typically wornnot in clothing dress who for termA people A term which generally a which accept referstermA not does who to person a A person’s A - deeply innate, The externalThe manifestation person’sa of identity,gender which A term for individuals genderwhose expression/behavior GENDER IDENTITY GENDER definedexternal behaviors and felt psychological identification man,aas - time as the other other the time as Respect transgendered.) a verb. ( preferredword of the use transgenderor adjective is an as noun not a and arequeer)(gender the umbrella allwithin term “transgender.” The dress, live androgynously or do not live their life in a gender mannerbinary sexoppositeone theywere the assigned ofbirth. at all Not transgender certificates). birth their on people want to live the as gender expression differ from sex theirassigned at (i.e.,thebirth sex listed comfortable with the term.comfortable the with is the individual if utilized be only should and community transgenderthe maymayhave takeor or not surgery. hormones birth their of sex opposite the of memberlives a as live their full a certificates). People on often birth who, sex the listed their (i.e., on Transgender: : to transwoman. male at birth,currently identifies as a woman. This is sometimes shortened Transgender Woman: to transman. female at birth,currently identifies as a man. This is sometimes shortened Transgender Man: Tony is atransgenderman People whose gender identity differs from their assigned sex at birth sexat birth differsassigned identity gender their from whose People Definitions: Transgender People An umbrellaAn term for people whose gender identity and/or A termfor atransgenderwho, individual assigned A term for a transgender who,individual assigned - NOT NOT Tony is atransgender This This term is debated within hotly Individualscross who - designated sex.They . OR OR . - time basis, basis, time Tony is is Tony Respect affirmation process. gender the through going or transitioningto as referredatthat processis birth assigned one the of sex to opposite live the as begins individual an medical legal and social, transition:of Three phases ProcessSelf of Gender Affirmation or Transition: Definitions: Transgender People - Authorization When When Respect term. genderand dysphoria isnow preferred the technical community consider of use disorder the to offensive be “gender identity disorder,”however, many the in been, and in some literature, still is referredto as transgender have individuals gender dysphoria.has This important areas of functioning. Some, but not all, distressimpairmentor in social, occupational,other or genderrole that of sex causesclinically which significant with sexhis or her inappropriateness ofor sense the in cross generalstrongthat usage a describes persistent and Dysphoria:Gender - gender identification persistent and discomfort Definitions: Transgender Definitions: People Medical/Psychological is a DSM V diagnosisDSM Vis a – not term a of Respect female may take estrogen and androgen blockers. take testosteronetransitioningthose while from to male medicallyThose transitioning from female to maymale characteristics a medicalpart ofas transition process. facilitate the developmentof secondary sex Hormone Therapy: surgeries. there is not onesurgery; in fact there are many different identity presentation.and Contrary to belief, popular procedures that change one’s bodyto align gender Surgery) Gender Confirming Surgery or GenderAffirming GenderReassignment Surgery (Also referred toas : Terms that refers to various surgical Definitions: Transgender Definitions: People Medical/Psychological The administrationThe of hormones to Respect Transgender Health WPATH: therapy.of termination upon successful. Reversible less adulthood effect symptomsdysphoria make and transitionsat exacerbatecan characteristicsthat gender the development of secondary sex Children: on hormone therapy on hormone surgery and for minors. Definitions: TransgenderPeople World Professional forAssociation Lupron to used and puberty suppress Medical/Psychological ( www.WPATH.org ) debate) RESPECT Words not to use because they are out dated or considered offensive – “trannie,” “tranny,” “she-male,” “he-she,” ‘it,” “transvestite,” “sex change,” “sex change operation.”

Whenever possible, use a transgender person's chosen name even if it is not their legal name. Often transgender people cannot afford a legal name change or are not yet old enough to change their name legally. They should be afforded the same respect for their chosen name as anyone else who lives by a name other than their birth name (e.g., celebrities). RESPECT If it is not possible to ask a transgender person which pronoun he or she prefers, use the pronoun that is consistent with the person's appearance and gender expression. For example, if a person When describing transgender wears a dress and uses the name Susan, people, please use the correct feminine pronouns are appropriate. If it is term or terms to describe their not obvious – try to avoid any use of gender identity. For example, a gender terms until you can ask the person who was assigned male person’s preference. at birth and transitions to female is a transgender woman, whereas a person who was assigned female at birth and transitions to male is a transgender man. Respect readerswill never unheraldedfind an “thon” thein paper. terminology head pronouns altogether.timesOther the reporter confronts the In some cases, a reporter finds a write singularin their “they” reporting on a case Post and The Associated Press recentlybegan permitting the pronouns havebecomemuch more visible. Both The Washington those whohave adopted “they,”“them”“theirs” and personal as transgenderpeople preferthe conventional “he”“she,” or but novel varietieslike “Mx.” courtesylike titles “Mr.” “Ms.” and arehaving to makeroom for severalnewspapers totriedmake “thon” happen. Andincreasingly, whichhave taken off, including “xe,” “ze,”“phe,” “er,” “ou.”1884, In the 1850s, have generated a vast array of alternatives,none of introduce nonstandard pronouns, some of which date to as early as Grammarconventions are justshifting quickly.as Efforts to Times Insider Excerpt 2017 April Insider Times - on in theon introduction or body of the article. But Transgender People — pronounced “mix.” “They” - around, likeavoiding - by - Today, many case basis. CASE EXAMPLE – BETSY & BO

And How Does An English Major – or Any Good Writer Handle? Respect Sexual Orientation: Asexual: Asexual: Gender Queer: emotionally attracted to persons of the opposite sex. Heterosexual/Straight: questioning their sexual orientation. Questioning: emotionally attracted to both sexes. Bisexual: attracted to other . Lesbian . Many lesbians preferto called be “lesbian” however. attractedto males. other Also agenerallydescriptive term forgay or men Gay: identityare different concepts. same genderthe and/ordifferent gender. Sexual orientation genderand A terms tois used male sexually who a describe emotionally and : A term to used femalea describe is sexually who emotionally and Personno desire with for a sexualrelationship anyonewith A term toused or a male describe female is sexuallywho and Definitions: SEXUAL Definitions: ORIENTATION A term to used a persondescribe is unsurewho is and People who do not ascribe to a notionbinary of sex/gender. A terma person’s describing attractionto members of A terms to used a person describe is sexuallywho and Respect or psychologically/emotionally or disordered extremiststo that suggest gay arediseased people somehow word the byantiaggressively "homosexual," used it is -gay sex.members the same of the Because clinicalof history of gay use Please or lesbian to attracted describe people to “bi/bisexual”(adj.) (n) person/people;” Preferred:"gay"(n.); "gay "gay(adj.); "lesbian" or man" Offensive: "homosexual" (n. or adj.) Words not touse: using "homosexual.”using PsychiatricAmericanavoid Please 1970s. the in Association discreditedAmericanPsychologicalthe by Association the and Definitions: SEXUALDefinitions: ORIENTATION – notions notions Respect gaymen, bisexuals, well as as straight women. men and same and/or opposite sex and is inclusive of lesbians, romantic and/oremotional attraction to membersthe of accurate descriptionan individual'senduringphysical, of can should"cured." and be Sexual orientation being lesbian, gay or bisexual is achoice thereforeand "sexual preference"is typically toused suggest that Preferred: "sexual orientation" or "orientation" termThe Offensive:"sexual preference" Wordsto use: not Definitions: SEXUAL ORIENTATION is the is the Respect their relationships,their and pronouns. of your use involved, parties of the of your depictions names throughthe sexes people's discern toable be will and/or orientations orientation.your listenerscases, another most In of someone activity,same or emotion relationship "straight" if engaged in by relationship gay, bisexual lesbian, or youwouldunless call the toavoid try rule, a As activity, an labeling or emotion to denigrategay couplespeople, and relationships. constructions are These frequently by antiused extremelyoffensiveis "homosexualavoided.sex" be should and homosexualrelationship," their intimacy identifyingas or homosexual"a as characterizingcouple," relationshiptheir "a as or “same Preferred: "relationship," "couple"(or, necessary,if "gaycouple” couple," "homosexual sex," etc. Offensive:"homosexualrelations/relationship," "homosexual Words not touse: -sexcouple”), "sex,"etc.-sex same a Identifying couple SEXUAL ORIENTATION gay extremists extremists -gay Respect "cured." orientation is a thereforechoice and can should and be gaylesbians, men, bisexualsand suggesting that their lives. Thephrase "gay lifestyle" is used to denigrate bisexualsand are diverse ways the in they their lead single lesbian, gay or bisexual lifestyle. Lesbians, Preferred: "gay lives," "gay and lesbian lives" Thereis no Offensive:"gay lifestyle" "homosexual or lifestyle” Wordsto use: not Definitions: SEXUAL ORIENTATION Respect Puerto Rico." Rico." Puerto forexample:star popout an fromis "RickyMartin Youpersonout, may the as being describe simply also gaybeing is somehow shameful or inherently secretive. lives.words The "admitted" or "avowed"suggest that bisexualtheir personal, in public, and/or professional those who- describe self bisexual," or simply "out" Dated term toused Preferred: "openly lesbian," "openly gay," "openly homosexual" Offensive:"admitted homosexual""avowed or Wordsto use: not Definitions: SEXUAL ORIENTATION identifyas gay, lesbian or Respect transgender person." derogatory word for alesbian, gay, bisexual or preferredthat reporters say, person"The a used words are not given credibility in the media, it is reveals ofperson bias the the quoted. So that such exceptTheynot used be should direct a in quote that manner as vulgar epithetsto used target groups.other derogatory These terms should treated be in same the epithets "fag,""faggot," "dyke," "homo,""sodomite," similar and anyone else to use. Derogatory Language Definitions: SEXUAL ORIENTATION – don’t use and don’t allow allow don’t and use don’t Respect society. as less human,than mentally adanger or as ill, to "disordered" often are used toportray LGBT people Today,words "deviant," as such "diseased" and American Psychiatric Association in the 1970s. American PsychologicalAssociation the and psychological disorder was discredited by the descriptions "perverted," similar "destructive"and "deviant," "disordered," "dysfunctional," "diseased," anyone to else use. Derogatory Language The notion that being gay,being that notion The bisexual or lesbian a is Definitions: SEXUAL ORIENTATION – don’t use and don’t allow use allow don’t and don’t Respect particular. pose athreat to society, to families, and to children in associations oftentoare used insinuate that LGBT people and/oradultery and incest. innuendoes claims, Such sexualpedophilia,child abuse, bestiality, abuse, bigamy, synonymous nor with, indicative of, any tendency toward Being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender is neither social behavior bigamy, adultery and/or incestany or “deviant” antior - with pedophilia, child abuse, sexual abuse, bestiality, Associating gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people else to use. Derogatory Language SEXUAL ORIENTATION – don’t use and don’t allow anyone allow don’t and use don’t What is ?

Per Urban Dictionary: Polyamory: • A form of relationship involving more than two people. The relationships may be symmetrical (like a triangle), or something more complex. The relationships may also be open or closed, straight or gay, or a mixture. A purely heterosexual form of polyamorous marriage was once practiced among the Tibetans: each man had many wives, and each woman had many husbands. This raises the possibility of your brother also being your husband-in-law-in-law. What is Polyamory?

From Wickipedia: • Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, "many, several", and Latin amor, "love") is the practice of or desire for intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners. It has been described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy" • People who identify as polyamorous reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed, long-term loving relationships. Those who are open to or emotionally suited for polyamory may embark on a polyamorous relationship when single or already in a monogamous or open relationship. • Polyamorous arrangements are varied, reflecting the choices and philosophies of the individuals involved, but with recurring themes or values, such as love, intimacy, honesty, integrity, equality, communication, and commitment. • Confusion arises when polyamory is misapplied in a broader sense, as an umbrella term for various forms of consensual non-monogamous, multi- partner relationships (including polyamory), or consensual non-exclusive sexual or romantic relationships. Respect SEXUAL ORIENTATION - POLYAMORY State of the law since Obergefell v. Hodges

• ALL married couples are entitled to have their marriage recognized. • However LGBTQ couples still are encountering issues in being recognized as legitimate parents– especially with the marital presumption NOT applying to whether their legal parentage is valid – by way of example: – Stankevich v. Milliron (Mich. App. 2015) (where married and had child with each other by agreement – yet upon split - bio mom tried to say non- bio mom not a parent) – Ex parte E.L. (In re: E.L. v V.L.) (Supreme Court of Alabama 2015) (bio mom tried to invalidate Georgia step-parent adoption by non-bio mom in Alabama), on appeal US Supreme Court held ALL adoption orders must be given full faith & credit by other states. See V.L. v. E.L., 136 S. Ct. 1017 (2016). Does NOT apply to birth certificates. Same-sex couples still need an Order. – But see – Pavon v Smith, “the Constitution entitles same-sex couples to civil marriage on the same terms and conditions as opposite-sex couples.” Pavon v Smith, 137 S. Ct. 2075, 582 U. S. ____ (June 26, 2017) “As this Court explained in Obergefell v. Hodges…, the Constitution entitles same-sex couples to civil marriage “on the same terms and conditions as opposite-sex couples.” Id., at ___ (slip op., at 23). In the decision below, the Arkansas Supreme Court considered the effect of that holding on the State’s rules governing the issuance of birth certificates. When a married woman gives birth in Arkansas, state law generally requires the name of the mother’s male spouse to appear on the child’s birth certificate—regardless of his biological relationship to the child. According to the court below, however, Arkansas need not extend that rule to similarly situated same-sex couples: The State need not, in other words, issue birth certificates including the female spouses of women who give birth in the State. Because that differential treatment infringes Obergefell’s commitment to provide same-sex couples “the constellation of benefits that the States have linked to marriage,” id., at ___ (slip op., at 17), we reverse the state court’s judgment.

There is still lack of protection:

• Gay couples still need court orders to secure legal parentage of their children and cannot just rely on birth certificates – not just due to state differences in the US but globally • Transgender individuals still lack many protections – especially with regard to public accommodations and in other areas. Compare the Colorado “wedding cake” case Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission, 584 U.S. ___ (2018) to VA law. • There is still a lot of insecurity and no security. Relationship Building

Ensuring an LGBTQIA Law Friendly Law Office WHAT VIBE DO YOU SEND?

• Do you have receptive indicators on your website and in your lobby? • Or do you have negative indicators? • Read the NCLR flyer in the materials. • Have LGBT friendly magazines and/posters in your lobby area. • Make sure your website has an LGBT friendly component. Making Your Law Firm LGBTQIA Friendly: Make Your Law Firm LGBTQIA Friendly: Law Firm Intake • Intake Forms – Do they ask for the person’s sex or marital status? • If yes, is that necessary to the intake? • If yes and necessary to the intake – is the wording appropriate? • Upon presentation of an individual whose is not clear, but whose sexual identity is not germane to the attorney-client relationship, simply ask for the name and call the client by name. If you need more clarification – explain why. • Ask the client/caller – what name do you prefer I call you? Law Firm Intake (cont) • Upon presentation of an individual whose sexual identity must be known as part of the legal representation (and it is not clear from appearance and name), simply ask “how do you identify in terms of your gender?” and if the info must be known (for example, in an adoption proceeding) – “is that the same gender that is on your legal identification documents?” Law Firm Intake (cont)

• Do not hesitate to explain why proper gender identification is necessary. • In some cases – proof of gender identification may be necessary to the legal proceedings or to the statutory requirements. • Explain why gender identification issues could be an issue in the legal proceedings – including from a practical (not legal) perspective (including juror or judge bias). Making your Law Firm LGBT Friendly • Add your LGBT friendly commitment to your website and all marketing materials – including your LGBT affiliations • Stay Educated & Informed, Seek Out & Support LGBT Resources: – Utilize info from the Family Equality Council www.familyequality.org, GLAD www.glad.org and the National Center for Lesbian Rights www.nclrights.org – Join and Support: • The LGBT Bar Association • The Virginia Equality Bar Association • Equality Virginia • Gay RVA Questions?