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Home , Fozzie Bear, Fran Brill, James Bobin, Kermit Love, Peter Linz, Swedish Chef

Empire ventures behind the red curtain to and team’s Muppets witness Special The big-screen resurrection of

Words: Nick de Semlyen

The MuppetsNot that the likes of ’ Wizard Empire is at LA’s Universal Of Oz and The Muppets: Letters To Santa Studios, one blue-skied were complete write-offs (the former, for one, morning in January 2011, brought us the sight of Quentin Tarantino en route to see everyone’s menacing Kermit with a katana). But the favourite fuzzy funsters on the set of their brand beloved gang were in dire need of a saviour. new movie. We’re expecting bucket-loads of Then, in 2007, along came Jason Segel. silliness, a jigger of anarchy and maybe, if we’re “I had a general meeting at Disney,” recalls really lucky, a musical number involving chickens the amiable comedian, when we meet him on stilts. What we find instead is a Muppet outside the workshop. “They said, ‘Are there remake of Hostel. any properties we have that you’d want to work Inside a darkened building, not far from on?’ I said, ‘What are you guys doing with the Stage 28, sprawls a scene that would drive even Muppets?’ There was an awkward silence Sam The Eagle to therapy. Near the door sits and they were like, ‘Nothing right now.’” cuddly cut-up Fozzie — minus his head. The storyline he suggested wasn’t a Across the room, stuck to a fridge door, is Muppetisation of a classic book or film. a Post-it note marked, “Kermit’s arms.” And Instead, ballsily, it would directly address here, there and everywhere lie assorted body the decline of their popularity. “I didn’t want parts: paws, beaks, even a heap of eyeballs in to skirt away from the fact that the Muppets a Tupperware tub. Have Disney’s development weren’t at this moment as famous as they executives decided to delve into hitherto were in their heyday,” Segel explains. “Instead unexplored territory: felt Grand Guignol? of hiding that, I thought we should use it Of course not; that’s as likely as pigs to our advantage. That’s what the movie in space. This room is in fact the Muppet should be about.” workshop, where skilled craftspeople slowly and painstakingly build each character. hey’re brightly (To give you an idea of just how slowly and coloured, have painstakingly, it took over a year to track ping-pong balls down the perfect fur for Fozzie, since the for eyes and frequently original manufacturer had been outsourced.) bounce around for But the disturbing tableau that’s just been no good reason. seared onto our retinas forever makes for an But woe betide apt metaphor. For, much like the parrot in the anyone who fails to take the Monty Python sketch, if the Muppets haven’t TMuppets seriously. Just like been dead for the past two decades, they’ve Gremlins, they come certainly been resting. with rules. Their last moment of true glory was 1992’s The Muppet Christmas Carol, which revived the perennial Dickens chestnut by adding ice- skating penguins. But since then the late ’s beloved creations have gradually dropped off the pop-culture radar. Their return to prime time TV in ’90s variety show lasted only one season — the fact that Kermit was bumped as host in favour of a dreadlocked catfish-thing called Clifford, The Muppets Redux: , , the self-professed “homey made of foamy”, , Kermit probably didn’t help. And the last few Muppet and new cast movies have skipped the multiplex altogether, member . heading straight to DVD.

90 EMPIRE february 2012 I think is awesome.” Segel’s enthusiasm for all things rod-operated has not only led him Jason Segel with SESAME’S girlfriend Amy Adams Muppets to amass a huge collection (human) and brother — “It’s all in the first room in my Walter (Muppet). SpecialRule 1: Don’t call house you walk into; I’m starting Below: Gonzo The TREAT Great, still working them . to look more and more strange” — the cape and Revealing the other new Muppet movie: Being “You don’t use that word, ever,” but bled into his other work. For cannonball schtick. says , Segel’s the third act of Forgetting Sarah “When I was nine years old, it was a dream I had: ‘Wow, co-writer. “In the original draft of Marshall, which Stoller directed, I wish I could work with the Muppets.’” The year was 1969, the script, our new Muppet character, he even persuaded his friend to throw in a and , a poor Walter, was a ventriloquist’s puppet vampire-themed puppet show, not something black kid from Baltimore, who did shows on Venice Beach. But the you find in every Hawaii-set rom-com. Henson was transfixed by the furry Henson guys were like, ‘You can’t do that. turned out to be one of the companies bidding puppets in a new PBS Muppets are people.’ That was a huge for the job. “At their meetings, they hand out show called Sesame realisation for us.” Street. Ever since then, Bret McKenzie, the Flight Of The Conchords Clash knew he wanted star who wrote four original songs for the film, to be a professional learned this lesson too. “I had to lose the lyric, . Teaching ‘I remember when I was just a piece of felt.’ himself the art of Also, it became a real challenge trying to puppetry, Clash made rhyme something with ‘Muppet’. You’ll notice his own puppets in high school, despite the taunts that in one of the songs, I rhyme ‘Muppet’ of classmates who accused him of “playing with dolls”. with ‘Muppet’.” By 1979, Clash came to the attention of Henson Rule 2: Keep them humble. Company puppet-builder , who invited him “At first we introduced Kermit as a super- to perform ’s in the Macy’s wealthy, Johnny Carson kinda guy,” says Segel. Thanksgiving Day Parade. Five years later, Clash was “But the told us, ‘They’re always performing regularly on Sesame Street (the show’s first underdogs.’ So we tweaked it so he lives in a big African-American puppeteer). But it was not until the death of Elmo puppeteer in 1984 that Clash first got his hands on — or up — the fuzzy red furball, famous for referring to himself in the third person. “It’s “I’ve never taken anything so seriously.” Jason Segel very difficult to make a piece of fabric react like a human would, but Kevin is brilliant,” says fellow Sesame Street mansion but it’s completely crumbling. puppets to everyone to make it fun,” remembers becomes to reunite the chaotic coterie — dogs, ring out the pig!” puppeteer . What’s more, she adds, “Kevin is We also lost his private jet.” Stoller. “Jason put his on and was playing with prawns and all — and put on a show to raise Lunchtime is most comfortable when he’s Elmo.” Rule 3: Know their limits. it during the whole meeting, making it turn its the $10 million needed to save their home. approaching — an In Clash’s hands, Elmo quickly became the most “I learned some interesting things about head and look at people. I was like, ‘Dude!’” That last sentence basically describes Segel’s appropriate time for popular Sesame Street character of all time, launching what Muppets can and can’t do too,” recalls “If you could peel away Jason’s skin, there own task, except The Muppets needs to make Miss Piggy to rock up a multi-million-dollar merchandising monster, The McKenzie. “Frogs, pigs and can all talk. might be felt underneath,” laughs producer a lot more than $10 million to be counted a hit. if ever there was one — Adventures Of Elmo In Grouchland movie and the But penguins and chickens can only quack . “Jason is a six-foot human Will his nostalgia-fuelled movie inspire a new and finally Empire gets bestselling doll. Despite this — and and cluck, respectively. I wanted a chicken to sing Muppet,” agrees director James Bobin, another surge of popularity for Henson’s creations, or its first sighting of a real, live Muppet in the despite Jason Segel wanting him — Elmo doesn’t appear a line about eggs, but it was non-negotiable.” Flight Of The Conchords mainstay. “He has consign them back to direct-to-DVD purgatory? Bwild. The porcine superstar is sporting a Dior in The Muppets for legal reasons; indeed, like all the that same philosophy: the belief that people No pressure. dress, pearl necklace, silk gloves and heels Sesame Street cast, he isn’t technically a Muppet at all. These minor faux pas aside, the new crew seem are good and everything will be fine.” “I’ve never, ever taken anything so seriously,” designed by French foot-master Christian When The Henson Company was bought by Disney, the to have gelled well with the veterans of the Jim In the end, Segel’s superfandom ended confides Segel. “I chose to write the first draft Louboutin. It’s a sight both dazzling and deal didn’t include Sesame Street, which remains with Henson Company, which was bought by Disney up inspiring the movie’s plot. It opens in of the movie in London, just because England hilarious, but also short-lived; she’s rushed The Children’s Television Workshop. in 2004. It helped that Segel is as Muppet-mad a Rockwellian American burgh called felt Muppety to me. I’d walk around Belsize past to be “groomed” (we’re guessing mini- Still, Clash is the subject of a critically as they come. “What differentiates them from Smalltown, where a man named Gary Park, sit in the pub writing, watch Muppets and Dyson, not face peel) before going in front acclaimed documentary, Being Elmo: A other modern comedy is that they’re never (Segel) and his inexplicably non-fleshy Winnie The Pooh endlessly to try to capture of the camera. Puppeteer’s Journey, loosely based mean to anyone,” he tells Empire, waving at brother Walter (performed and voiced by the right spirit. It was really fun. Though I’d We are, however, allowed to watch from a on his 2006 autobiography, My Life a Universal Studios tourist tram as it passes, puppeteer ) dream of get these late-night phone calls from Disney, distance as a shot is filmed inside Stage 28. This As A Furry Red Monster. “The thing cameras flashing. “It’s so easy to get a laugh meeting the Muppets. They head to Los where they’d be like, ‘This is a big franchise — is the legendary building known to film buffs as people love about Elmo, I attribute from demeaning somebody and the Muppets Angeles, only to discover that their heroes we want toys and rides. Which scene would the Phantom Stage, since it once housed the to Kevin because of his embodiment never do it. Their whole driving force is making have disbanded, their studio now dusty make a good ride?’ And I’d be thinking, ‘That theatre set from the 1925 Phantom Of The of Elmo,” says Whoopi Goldberg, who people feel special about themselves, which and decayed. Their mission is not where I want my brain to be!’” Opera. It’s also rumoured to be haunted narrates the documentary, currently making the festival circuit in search of UK distribution. Prepare to be tickled when it Peter Ustinov Candice Vincent Price Zero Mostel Steve Martin Madeline George Burns Dom DeLuise Bernadette Elton John hits the UK in 2012. Best In Show (Ep. 1.12) Bergen (Ep. 1.19) (Ep. 2.02) (Ep. 2.08) Kahn (Ep. 2.09) (Ep. 2.10) (Ep. 2.11) Peters (Ep. 2.14) David Hughes Throughout its five-year Everyone raves (Ep. 1.15) Rents a room Sings What Auditions for Gonzo falls in Smokes a lot. Plays the (Ep. 2.12) Almost eaten by about his Painted by in Fozzie and Twiggy Do The Simple the cancelled love with her caretaker of an Cheers up Kermit’s crocodiles, and is run, intellect; all he’s and Gonzo’s spooky (Ep. 1.21) Folk Do? while Muppet Show after she tells institute caring nephew, Robin offended by Kermit, was renowned for ever wanted hit with a pie summer Reads a bedtime dressed as with a balloon- him he’s for mischievous The Frog, by who says his song its A-list guests... is to be a frog. by Kermit. cottage. story to Gonzo Henry VIII. animal routine. talented. monsters. serenading him. is dreadful.

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Muppets Outtake #15: A Muppeteer’s hand Special misses its mark. Below: Walter sports some vintage Muppet merchandise.

Kermit “If it looks really hard, that’s & Miss because it is!” James Bobin Piggy by a caped figure that wafts around the catwalks, manoeuvre. There’s a massive blue monster possibly searching for royalties. called Thog who’s nine feet tall. At one point Today, there’s no sighting of anything with I asked the guy inside him to do a dance and Empire goes face to fuzz a cape (unless you count Gonzo The Great, he almost died, he was sweating so much.” who’s in a crate in the car park, holding a remote But not even the gangliest beast has had as with the Brad and Angie of control marked “Automatic Destroy Building tough a time as the British director, incredibly Button”). But we do get to see a frog, plus making his feature-film debut. Bobin was puppet/marionette hybrids whatever the hell the green-skinned, red-haired, determined to drop the Muppets in real-world bling-mouthed Dr. Teeth is. It seems a relatively locations as often as he could, most ambitiously straightforward scene, set inside the Muppet onto Hollywood Boulevard for the movie’s Theatre, in which Jason Segel says goodnight to climactic song-and-dance number. “It’s insanely What are your feelings about the new movie? appetiser. I love the French, but they love me too. I want to Kermit: I’m a frog and we can get away with it. Also, it’s really on-screen girlfriend Amy Adams while Kermit complex,” he says. “A lot of my favourite gags Piggy: No idea. I never read the script. I just counted my lines, walk out of there on the same legs I walked in with. difficult to find clothing my size. I can’t buy off the rack, you saunters past and the Electric Mayhem band- are with things going on in the background, but then showed up and said whatever I felt like. know. Extra small and spindly is very hard to come by. member descends the stairs in the background. it’s hard to do that with puppets unless you have Kermit: I’m very proud of it. I have some challenging stuff to Is the Muppet gang still as unruly as ever? But it still requires nine takes, each of which a conveniently placed barrel. And we’re trying do, some pretty dramatic moments. I’m more serious in this Kermit: Yes, and the menagerie is always growing. Chickens, What do you like most about each other? looks extraordinarily taxing for the people off- not to use CGI.” film, because I’m kind of carrying the weight of the world on my cows — it’s tough just to keep all the livestock permits in order. Kermit: I love watching her enjoy a great meal. camera operating the Muppets. Unless, of course, CGI stands for Celebrity shoulders. I don’t have shoulders, which made it even harder. You try taking 15 penguins across state lines. Piggy: He’s so handsome. It’s hard to think where to begin. “If it looks really hard, that’s because it is!” Goodness Injection. In keeping with the grand (Points at Kermit’s frilly collar) I have no idea what this is, but laughs Bobin. “We’ve had scenes with dozens Muppet tradition, the movie is stuffed with Who had the bigger trailer on set? The two of you have been together for it’s so cute, don’t you think? of Muppets where the puppeteers are basically famous phizogs, from Jack Black to Mickey Kermit: Piggy, hands-down. I just have a tub of water. I do decades. What’s your secret? playing human Tetris with their limbs. The rats Rooney via a plethora of big names from US a scene and hop straight in the water. I have to be careful not Piggy: Love. Which actors do you admire? are tough — they’re often remote-controlled TV. Not everyone could join the party: Lady to touch the lights. Kermit: That and duct tape. But mostly I think we complement Kermit: Well, we worked with Michael Caine a few years ago — and the larger creatures are very hard to Gaga’s cameo was shelved due to scheduling and I learned a lot from him. I learned the best thing you can issues (or perhaps Piggy objected to her meat do on the big screen is to never blink. You’ll notice during this dress), while rumours about Jean-Claude Van “I love watching her enjoy movie I never blink. Piggy: He should be nominated for an Oscar. Best non-blinking Best In Show a great meal.” Kermit role in a movie. Julie Andrews Peter Sellers Bob Hope John Cleese Raquel Welch Harry Belafonte Lesley Ann Piggy: I had a motorhome that stretched a whole block. Some each other. The biggest trouble we’ve had is that I’m very Will you be doing any more acting soon? (Ep. 2.17) (Ep. 2.19) (Ep. 2.21) (Ep. 2.23) (Ep. 3.11) (Ep. 3.14) Warren (Ep. 3.15) trailers they call double-bangers. Mine was ten bangers. private, and she likes to put things out to the press. Piggy: I hope so. I love popcorn and I love watching myself. Sang three songs Recites a soliloquy Aggravates Kermit Tied to his chair Tells Fozzie he’s Has a drum battle Kermit is Piggy: I try to make him jealous. I like to be seen about town Kermit: I want to do Avatar 2, but I think I’d have to wear with the cast from Richard III, by going to before the show, sexy; discusses with Animal until impressed: he was gement Artists Piggy, the other Muppets find you in Paris. with gorgeous hunks. Those tabloids stories are planted by moi. a lot of blue make-up. I’ve considered taking the role of Yoda, and lost playing benefits whenever complains about the burdens of they both pass expecting Lesley What was it like shooting there? but he’s CG now. I wanted to be the Hulk, but I didn’t quite a live tuned he should be the number of pigs being a sex symbol out; discusses and Warren, a Piggy: Unfortunately we did those scenes on a backlot, out Being a fashion icon, are you not tired of your have the build. Basically anything green. I sometimes get cow. chickens. performing. and monsters. with Piggy. African mythology. knife-throwing act. ubomirski/ Ma n a of concern for Kermit and his legs. boyfriend being naked all the time? parts as plants, in the background of shots. Little insulting,

Alexi L Kermit: I can’t go to France, because I could become an Piggy: I love it! but it pays the rent.

94 EMPIRE february 2012 empireonline.com Subscribe at www.empireonline.com/sub february 2012 EMPIRE 95 Damme came to nought. But it’s sufficiently casing of his footprints and a giant statue of Henson and in 1990 and 2001 f their reunion does indeed prove starry that Ricky Gervais’ walk-on failed to Kermit, clad in bowler hat and Tramp suit, respectively. Both men are quiet and calm, only to be a global smash, where will make the final cut. atop the entry gates. becoming animated when they lower themselves the Muppets take their peculiar Muppets Even so, Bobin has been most wowed by the The lot, which still boasts a fully functioning onto the floor and slip into frog/pig mode. And unique brand of mayhem next? cast members made of foam. “When I was a kid creature shop, is both a loving tribute to the as Empire starts throwing questions at them (see Neither Segel nor Bobin will be Special I had a Muppet lunchbox, with a Thermos to genius of Jim Henson, and previous page), the drawn on sequel talk — they put lemon drink in,” he says. “I used to watch nirvana for Henson-heads. interplay between the know it’s extremely unwise to the show every Sunday in my grandmother’s A life-size Carol head from Briefing two Muppets is so count your chickens before they’re hatched, house for about five years. It felt like an English Where The Wild Things Are captivating that it’s Iparticularly if the is in the vicinity. thing to me, maybe because they shot it at overlooks reception, casting The Muppets easy to forget the But judging by the amount of praise they are Elstree and the guests were often just whoever a monstrous shadow onto Released: February 10 fellows with arms ready to heap on the second Muppet movie, was on at the that weekend. a glass case stuffed with Director: James Bobin up their bums. , a return to London I used to love this really seedy minor character Labyrinth memorabilia. Starring: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, called Bobby Benson. He had a band made up One wall of the boardroom Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper, Walter of babies, who you’d expect to be cute, but they is dominated by a beautiful, Story: Evil rich-bloke Tex Richman (Cooper) weren’t cute at all — they were creepy and scary. tear-jerking mosaic of plans to destroy the now-defunct Muppet He had sunglasses on and actually gets arrested Henson with all his creations. Studio, so Gary (Segel) and brother Walter in one episode. I’ve managed to sneak him into And if you want to use (Walter), with Gary’s girlfriend Mary (Adams), the movie, but sadly he’s toned down. Disney wireless, well, naturally the seek to reunite the gang and save the day. didn’t like his cigarette.” log-in is “darkcrystal”. (We Any Fraggles? No. Everybody, from suited studio execs to can’t tell you the password, the film’s stars, has had a go at operating a but it’s suitably Muppety.) Muppet. Segel got to play one morning, More a campus than a studio, the Jim while producer Todd Lieberman stepped in to Henson Company is relaxed and non-corporate control “an old man” for a wide shot, though — many of the Henson employees, sporting he was later forced to cut his own cameo: “The long hair, beards and tattoos, look like they’ve visual-effects supervisor noticed there was one time-travelled from the ’70s. Bobin, Muppet in the scene that looked totally wrong. who today is wearing a none-more- It was angled weird. Guess what? It was mine.” British waistcoat and tweed jacket Segel and Adams When Amy Adams emerges from the ensemble, fits right in. He’s in an breathe new life into the Muppet Theatre, soundstage, having finally completed a take ebullient mood, having screened and the felt franchise. with a perfect frog hop-by, she’s sporting a 20 terrific minutes of the movie Right: What flavour is Thog-sized grin. “It’s so odd to suddenly be for Empire — one sequence from Muppet toothpaste? doing a scene with a character you adored as which, a melancholy yet delightful Lint! Wacka wacka! a kid. I’ve been most star-struck with Fozzie. musical number in which Kermit I was really into him and I do a pretty mean laments the loss of his friends as ‘Wacka wacka!’ Which I’m not gonna do for portraits of them come to life, may or may not you, so don’t ask!” have triggered mild sniffles in Row E. “I was most star-struck by Fozzie. I do a pretty mean ‘Wacka wacka!’” Amy Adams

he next time Empire “I’m so pleased with the end product,” Bobin “On set, the Muppeteers often stayed in for the gang might just be on the cards. Theatre, directing rats with sponges on their there just happened to be a huge banner with catches up with the gang smiles. “People always say, ‘Never work with character between takes,” says Bobin, “which Whatever happens in the future, the duo’s feet. Mad...” Jim Henson’s face on it — not set dressing, but is in late September, your heroes.’ But I’m here to tell you that those sometimes made it very trippy. Steve and Eric dreams have already come true, and then some. Meanwhile, almost a year after Empire advertising an exhibit going on at the museum. across town at the Jim people are wrong. The Muppets are my heroes came to the first table read, and I remember “On Flight Of The Conchords, we used to sit saw him beaming on set, Segel’s mouth is still He was looking down at us from the banner Henson Company. The and I had an amazing time making this movie. Segel was literally in tears, to see Kermit read around watching The Muppet Show to relax shaped like a massive felt U. and it felt like...” Muppets’ spiritual home It’s like working with Luke Skywalker.” lines that he had written. It’s amazing; he’s during our breaks,” recalls Bobin. “All the “Let me tell you about one of the best He trails off for a moment, then nods, and a key location in the Maybe so, but the next figures to enter the basically an elaborate sock puppet, but really weird stuff like Hugga Wugga and the moments of my life,” he says, excitedly. “Near suddenly serious. new movie, it’s steeped in Hollywood history: room get a rather more thrilled reception than Steve is able to create an amazing range of guys from Belgium with Plasticine on their the end of the shoot, we closed down Hollywood “Everything felt like it was coming together.” TCharlie Chaplin filmed several of his silent would greet Mark Hamill. It’s Kermit and Miss expressions. You can say to him, ‘Kermit faces. In Season 2 we even had (crazed stalker Boulevard and filled it with hundreds of extras. [email protected] classics here, a fact celebrated by a cement Piggy themselves, carried in lovingly by their goes into a room, looks around, stops, thinks, character) Mel sing a song that was inspired It was also my 31st birthday that night, and all puppeteers, and , realises something and then moves on.’ And by the show, with singing cookies and stuff. the Muppets sang me Happy Birthday. But The Muppets is out on February 10 and who took over the roles from Jim he’ll do it. I have no idea how.” Then, suddenly, I’m inside the actual Muppet what was really crazy was that on the street will be reviewed in the next issue. Best In Show Danny Kaye Spike Milligan Sylvester Stallone Lynn Redgrave Dudley Liza Cast of Star Wars Christopher Lynda Carter Alan Arkin Gene Kelly James Coburn Brooke Shields Glenda Jackson Marty Feldman Roger Moore (Ep. 3.16) (Ep. 3.17) (Ep. 3.20) (Ep. 323) Moore Minnelli (Ep. 4.17) Reeve (Ep. 4.18) (Ep. 4.19) (Ep. 4.20) (Ep. 5.01) (Ep. 5.05) (Ep. 5.06) (Ep. 5.07) (Ep. 5.18) (Ep. 5.24) Plays Chef’s uncle Represents Britain Sly defeats a Plays Maid Marian (Ep. 407) (Ep. 4.14) Luke, Artoo Miss Piggy falls for While she’s on, Drinks Bunsen’s Sings Singin’ In The Teaches Animal Plays Alice in a Reveals herself as Plays the role Attacked by spies and is upset when in a celebration of cowardly lion and to Kermit’s Robin Upsets The Electric In a Muppet and Threepio him. When spurned, Miss Piggy dons Jekyll-and-Hyde Rain, but only after the art of version of Alice In Black Jackson the of Scheherazade disguised as Statler and Waldorf different countries then dances with in a Muppet Mayhem by using a murder mystery search for she karate-chops the Wonder Woman potion and turns several attempts meditation Wonderland, pirate captain and in a Muppet animals. call him the worst and reveals his it to Let’s Call The version of machine to provide she hires Kermit a kidnapped him but he is outfit to become into a rampaging to persuade him and Muppet- commandeers the version of 1001 Genevieve performer ever. Union Jack boxers. Whole Thing Off. Robin Hood. his musical backing. as a PI. Chewbacca. invulnerable. Wonder Pig. monster. by Kermit. Zen. style. Muppet Theatre. Arabian Nights. Taylor

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