Self Help – Empower Yourself Anger Management – Step 1

Anger is a perfectly normal human emotion and, when dealt with appropriately, healthy. However, you need to be able to manage your anger. It is neither appropriate nor healthy if you cannot control your temper, and often lash out at others. Uncontrolled and frequent outbursts of anger will affect your health and your relationships with others.

Anger management is a term used to describe the skills you need to recognise that you, or someone else, is becoming angry, and then take appropriate action to deal with the situation in a positive way. It does not mean internalising or suppressing anger, but recognising the triggers and signs of anger, and finding other, more appropriate ways to express our feelings.

The key to anger is to learn to manage it, like any other emotion, so that it can be channelled into appropriate action.

Step 1. Start to Understand Your Anger Anger is an emotion like any other, and the first step towards being able to control any emotion is to understand why it happens. Many people use anger as a way to cover up other emotions, such as fear, vulnerability, or embarrassment. This is particularly true for people who were not encouraged to express their emotions as children, but it can apply to anyone. When you start to feel angry, look behind your anger to see if you can identify what you are really feeling.

Once you name the feeling, you will find it easier to express it more appropriately. https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/anger-management.html

Something to do… “The easiest way to The theme for the Koestler Awards this year is Window. open your mind to Drawing challenge – Can you draw a picture on this theme? Writing challenge – Can you write a poem or story on this new ideas and theme?

concepts is to open a Think about it – If there was one thing you could become an expert in, what would it be and why? book and read.”

Anything you seek, from escape to Something to work out… inspiration, can be found in a book.

How many combinations?

In shops with lots of ice-cream flavours there “When I let go of are many different flavour combinations. With just 2 flavours there would be 3 possible combinations:

what I am, I vanilla/vanilla, chocolate/chocolate, and vanilla/chocolate).

become what I • How many combinations of 2-scoop cones are there with 5 might be.” flavours? • How many combinations of 2-scoop cones are there with Lao Tzu 10 flavours?

• Could you work it out if you had 3 scoops?

Suchet John 10. Seat Ejector 9. Beaumont Bill 8. Merton Paul

7. Ian Hislop and and Hislop Ian 7. Lynam Des 6. 2005 . 5 Green Tony 4. Walker Roy 3. Hegerty Anne 2. Link The 1. : answers Quiz

Lockdown Lantern Issue 4

“To find yourself, think for yourself.” Puzzle Panel Word Challenge Socrates How many words can you make from these letters?

Journaling prompts for the week: 1. Five things you are grateful for. E D S E 2. One thing you can do right now that your future self

will love you for. V Y L E 3. How have I become me? 4. Write about the word ‘confidence’. 5. What kind of recurring situations or people do I A L N W attract? 6. Something that makes you angry with yourself. 7. Five things to do more often. A E R O

Arithmagons

Understanding a question Thinking Skills is half the answer. Socrates Socratic Questioning

Socratic questioning was named after Socrates, a philosopher in

Ancient Greece. It uses a method that focuses on discovering answers by asking questions.

You can question yourself or others. Give it a go.

Clarify Thinking Challenging Assumptions • Why do you say that? • What assumptions have you • What do you mean by made? that? • Is this always the case? • Can you give me an • What beliefs are you basing example? your argument on?

Using Evidence in Arguments Exploring Alternate Perspectives • What evidence do you • Who might see this have for this? differently? Why? • Can you give me an • How else could you answer example of this? this? • How do you know this? • What are the strengths and weaknesses?

Considering the Consequences Questioning the Question • Then what would happen? • What was the point of that • What would happen if…? question? The aim of an arithmagon is to work out which • What are the implications • Why is that question of…? important? numbers go in the empty circles. The numbers • What other question could I in the square boxes are made by adding ask? together the numbers in the circles either side.

Quiz Time – Topic – Quiz Shows

Th ese questions are all about UK television quiz shows. 1. Which BBC quiz show started in 2014 and was hosted by Mark Williams, famous for playing Arthur Weasley in the Harry Potter film series? 2. Which of the quiz stars of ‘The Chase’ is often referred to by Bradley Walsh as ‘Frosty Knickers’?

3. Who was the original host of ‘Catchphrase’? 4. ‘Bullseye’ was famously hosted by Jim Bowen, but which sports commentator became announcer and referee in 1982?

5. In which year was ‘Deal or No Deal’ first broadcast? 6. Who first took over as full-time presenter of ‘Countdown’ after the death of Richard Whiteley? 7. Can you name the two long-time team captains on ‘Have I Got News for You’? 8. Willie Carson, and were all team ‘B’ captains on ‘A Question of Sport’ between 1982 and 1996 – who held the post of Team ‘A’ captain during all this time? 9. Which ITV quiz show, new to our screens in 2014, was hosted by Andi Peters and involved contestants being seated on an armchair on a track which could tip them backwards?

10. Henry Kelly famously hosted ‘Going for Gold’ on BBC1, but the show was briefly revived and aired on Channel 5 in 2008 – who was the regular host of this version? Answers at the end! www.readymadepubquiz.com

A Mindful Maze

Although we may

associate mazes to childhood, both making and solving mazes is a very

mindful activity.

When we fully concentrate on anything it stops us having unhelpful thoughts which might be making us anxious, frustrated or angry.

If you have children, younger siblings or nieces and nephews try creating some mazes for them.

This is a classic maze but you can make them any shape or size. You could

illustrate them or create a theme. You could even create a maze with

multiple entry and exit points. Something to read…

NEUROPLASTICITY AND REWIRING THE BRAIN

Taken from https://healingtraumacenter.com/neuroplasticity-and-rewiring-the-brain/

Don’t ask “what is wrong with you.”

Ask “what happened to you.”

Understanding how your brain works, might help you to understand yourself better.

Childhood trauma can adversely affect the way in which the brain develops, leading to, for example, extremes in anxiety or great difficulty in controlling emotions. Current research shows that the brain is able to ‘rewire’ itself, alleviating the behavioural and emotional problems caused by the original damage.

The adult brain is much more changeable than had previously been believed. There is now a large amount of evidence to show that damaged resulting from childhood trauma can be corrected, reshaping consequent behaviour. In other words, it is now clear that brain continues to change throughout adulthood, and this can be manipulated in highly beneficial directions.

Many people who suffer childhood trauma go on to develop personality disorders as adults; one hallmark of these disorders is rigid, destructive behavioural patterns. Research is now showing, however, that certain therapeutic interventions, due to neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to change itself), can change those behaviours to become more flexible and adaptive (helpful in creating a more successful life).

In trauma, pathways can be set down; they can become additionally engrained due to shock or intensity. Therefore, when a single trigger or set of triggers occur, the emotions associated with the trauma are revisited.

But, due to neuroplasticity, this does not always have to be the case. New pathways can be created through changes in behaviour, environment and neuro processes. Not only is the brain capable of creating new pathways, it is designed to do so. The incredible thing is that the human brain has a very real desire to heal itself.

Creating new pathways necessitates a great deal of awareness, mindfulness and acknowledgment of the present. Yet, in time, these new pathways will eclipse the old, thus allowing trauma survivors.

Your brain is constantly adapting and rewiring itself. Your thoughts and behaviours influence this process. If certain thoughts and behaviours are repeated often enough, a strong connection, also known as a neural pathway, is created.

Habits are your established ways of thinking, feeling and doing. Every time you think in a certain way, practice a particular task, or feel a specific emotion, you strengthen this road, and it becomes easier for your brain to travel this pathway. When you think about something differently, learn a new task, or choose a different emotion, you are carving out a new road. If you keep traveling that road, your brain begins to use this pathway more and this new way of thinking. Feeling and doing becomes second nature. The old pathway becomes used less and less and it weakens. This process of rewiring your brain by forming new connections and weakening old ones is neuroplasticity in action.

One reason why it is so difficult to change the way you think, feel, and behave is that your beliefs and corresponding neural pathways have been formed early in life. They have been reinforced and strengthened, over and over again. In other words, your brain activity has carved out a deep and well travelled road. If that road remains and no new roads are built and strengthened, it is very difficult to change your ways, and you will easily fall back into old patterns. Creating and strengthening new, positive neural pathways is an essential part of achieving lasting change.

The good news is that we all have the ability to learn and change by rewiring our brains. If you have ever changed a bad habit, or thought about something differently, you have carved a new pathway in your brain, experiencing neuroplasticity first-hand. With repeated and directed attention towards your desired change, you can effectively rewire your brain to move forward and live a healthy, abundant life.