Biting the Hand: a Compilation of the Columns to Date
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
Biting the Hand 6/12/01 Jessica M. Mulligan Page 1 Biting the Hand: A Compilation of the Columns to Date Copyright 2000 by Jessica M. Mulligan Table of Contents 1 YEAR 2000 COLUMNS ...................................................................................................2 1.1 RANDOM THOUGHTS ....................................................................................................2 1.2 BUDGET MADNESS: BEGINNING THE YEAR WITH A RANT...............................................4 1.3 FABIAN, HARVARD, AND YOU ......................................................................................6 1.4 CPIS: THE DEADLY DISEASE.......................................................................................8 1.5 PANEM ET CIRCENSES.................................................................................................11 1.6 CATCHING UP ............................................................................................................13 1.7 THE CONFERENCE FORMALLY KNOWN AS CGDC .........................................................15 1.8 ARE YOU PARANOID ENOUGH?...................................................................................17 1.9 ARE YOU PARANOID ENOUGH? PART II ......................................................................19 1.10 THE COLUMN CALLIOPE .............................................................................................21 1.10.1 X-ing Out the Competition? ...............................................................................21 1.10.2 The Golden Age: DOA?.....................................................................................24 1.11 EULAQUEST: PART ONE ...........................................................................................26 1.12 EULAQUEST: PART TWO ..........................................................................................29 1.13 E3 IMPRESSIONS O H, AND SOME STUFF ON GAMES, TOO ...........................................31 1.14 SOUNDING OFF...........................................................................................................33 1.15 I SING THE MISERICORDE.............................................................................................37 1.16 I M A VOLUNTEER; WHERE S MY CHECK? .................................................................39 1.17 GAMERS ARE HARD TO CONSOLE ...............................................................................42 1.18 ONLINE CONSOLE-ATION ............................................................................................44 1.19 RAISING THE STAKES ..................................................................................................47 1.20 SENSITIVE TEETH .......................................................................................................48 1.21 FREE, AND WORTH IT .................................................................................................53 1.22 DOOMED TO FAIL?.....................................................................................................55 1.23 DOOMED TO FAIL? EPISODE II...................................................................................59 1.24 DOOMED TO FAIL? EPISODE III...................................................................................61 1.25 WE INTERRUPT OUR PROGRAM ...............................................................................63 1.26 DOOMED TO FAIL? PART IV.......................................................................................65 1.27 THE PRESIDENT OF YOUR FAN CLUB CALLED ..........................................................68 1.28 MOMMY, SHE TALKED DIRTY! ...................................................................................72 1.29 MOMMY, SHE TALKED DIRTY! PART II.......................................................................75 1.30 CHECKING BACK ....................................................................................................79 1.31 3D OR NOT 3D? ......................................................................................................81 1.32 NOT ANOTHER CHRISTMAS RUSH?..............................................................................83 1.33 HOT GAME DEVELOPERS: TWO YEARS LATER............................................................85 1.34 HOT GAME DEVELOPERS: PART TWO .........................................................................88 1.35 CASSANDRA SPEAKS...................................................................................................91 Copyright 2000 by Jessica Mulligan. All right reserved. Biting the Hand 6/12/01 Jessica M. Mulligan Page 2 1.35.1 Hasbro To Buy Microprose................................................................................93 1.36 GET RID OF GAME RATINGS........................................................................................95 1.37 OK, WOULD YOU PAY MORE IF .............................................................................97 1.38 OK, WOULD YOU PAY MORE, PART II...................................................................... 101 1.39 THE END OF THE YEAR: THE 2001 H OT LIST ......................................................... 105 1 Year 2000 Columns 1.1 Random Thoughts Volume Nine, Issue 1 January 6, 2000 I’ll see your host and raise you a Cisco router : I was reading an interview online a couple weeks ago, in which the designer of an upcoming persistent-world, massively multiplayer game claimed that, literally, hundreds of thousands of players would be able to exist simultaneously in their game world. After quelling a sudden urge to giggle hysterically, I begged the question: So what? Now that may sound strange, coming as it does from someone who currently makes her living at persistent-world MMGs. The plain fact of the matter is, however, that anyone can string together enough hardware to host multiple tens of thousands of players; all it takes is the money to buy the hardware and some technical know-how to string it all together. Of course, there is still the matter of how well you string it all together and then configure your server-side software to handle it, but that’s another story. The up-shot is, the information and experience to put together such a host site is readily available. And if you find that you don’t have enough hardware to host your audience, it’s pretty easy to slap some more into the daisy chain. A more salient question would have been: "Technically, how are you going to approach the problem of Internet lag in your game?" There is no real answer to that question, mainly because it can’t be solved today through technical means. Data such as game commands sent and received over the Internet acts like a Jim Bouton knuckleball on a windy day (http://www.velocitynyc.com/ballfour/bio.htm); once it leaves the hand of the pitcher, it moves with unpredictable speed along an only moderately predictable course. It does not matter if you have absolutely zero latency at both the home PC and the game host site; all it takes is for the data to hop through one bad router along the way and your lag rate is well and truly screwed. Since most data has to move through at least nine or ten hops between a home PC and a host site, the chances of encountering one bad router are pretty good. And we haven’t even mentioned what happens when a major data transfer chokepoint such as a MAE-East goes kaplooey This kind of unpredictability is why Bouton’s knuckleball was able to strike out the likes of Pete Rose and why any MMG dependent on even moderate response times for an enjoyable game Copyright 2000 by Jessica Mulligan. All right reserved. Biting the Hand 6/12/01 Jessica M. Mulligan Page 3 session can be a crap shoot. I’d have been far more impressed if the designer had simply said, "Who cares how many we can host? Let’s talk about the game design, which attempts to take into account the unpredictable nature of Internet communications and smooth it out." Riddle me this : The one question most asked of me is, "What will be the next great persistent world online game?" And my answer is always the same: "After Star Wars, Star Trek and/or Middle Earth, your guess is as good as mine." That is not to say that there aren’t other great worlds to license or interesting games waiting to be created from whole cloth. It merely means that there are very few worlds that can stand on their own merit and popularity despite the crushing affects of so-so designers, mediocre programmers and publishing executives who can’t or won’t understand the service side of this business. Developing and maintaining a persistent world is a complex, time-consuming, money-sucking, knowledge-intensive endeavor. If it was easy to do, we’d have 1,000 of them to choose from, instead of a couple dozen or so. All the pieces have to come together more or less in concert and pretty much stay together for extended periods. Otherwise, what you have done is wasted a few million dollars to no good effect. So what I’m really saying is, anyone who puts all the pieces together and maintains them well can have the next great persistent world online game. This is rather like saying that anyone can compete with America Online or Microsoft given two or three billion dollars and some technical know-how. Overheard in a crowded software store on Christmas Eve (I’m not making this up): Middle-aged Customer: "What is this Asheron’s Call game like? Will my 12 year old niece like it?" Young Sales Clerk: "Think of it as Sim City with swords, monsters and