Contact: - [email protected] www.lancsaeroclub.co.uk The Elevator

The Fly by Wire Newsletter of the Lancashire Aero Club Editorial address: - [email protected]

February 2011

I’ve heard nothing at all about your views on increasing the membership but have included a letter from John Coxon which I hope generates a response.

I was reading through some past copies of TrimTab the other day and it is clear that there was a real feeling of belonging to LAC in those days. That community spirit is somewhat lacking now which is disappointing. Do please let me know your thoughts on the matter.

I hope February brings with it good flying weather and that you all have a successful Valentine’s Day!! WHAT’S IN THIS ISSUE...

Bad Charlie takes to the air with Captain Greenwood at the controls!

Open Day at Barton!

Comper Swift arrives at Breighton.

Ashes, ashes, ashes...

Grandma & Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10. a pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110.

"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!" BAILING OUT...

It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night. The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the pub. The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit. The prostitute then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note. The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism……... and that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.

Look at what happened from 1998 until 2008. In just ten years it has grown and grown. Watch the pieces come together as they are sent up from Earth. This is the International Space Station (ISS) Assembly diagram, piece by piece.

I had no idea the Space Station had grown to this size. This is really cool… http://i.usatoday.net/tech/graphics/iss_timeline/flash.htm CHAIRMAN’S CHAT AND NEWS...

As you may well imagine this time of the year is very quiet on the committee front as we get ready to face the coming year. Most of the committee work is already decided with the finances being the major consideration and these were settled last year for a three year term. This takes a large problem from the decision making process and all we have to consider now is how to generate more membership for the Club.

You may well wonder why we need to think about generating membership but the fact is that we have been losing members every year since we lost Barton to Peel Holdings. Even when we were still at Barton there was a loss in membership as the reason to be a member for a lot of people no longer existed. That being you had to be a member to fly from Barton. One of the quirky facts of the USA is that pilots there feel the need to ‘belong’. You only have to look at the EAA for this as their membership is in the 100,000’s. It is so very different from this country as we seem to be much more independent and do not feel the need to ‘belong’ to any club/association. The example would be the LAA which has a membership of about 8,000. It doesn’t bear any comparison with the USA and neither does the LAC with its membership.

The strip at Kenyon Hall will be opening on Sunday the 1st of May and will continue to open on Sundays’ through the year. There will be some special activity at least once a month through the year as we have done since we opened the strip two years ago. Time has gone so quickly that it hardly seems to be two years that we started along this line but there is the basis of a very good facility for the Club.

Obviously the one aspect that we now need to develop is that of planning permission to use the strip for the whole year and not just the 28 days as we are at the moment. The airfield sub-committee will be looking at this very closely in the coming months to decide the best course of action. When we approach the council for the permission we must have a solid case to give us the best chance of success and this will take a lot of advice. It is not something we can rush into; though we cannot delay too long as we know you are looking to us to give you an airfield.

As there are some good flying days in winter all I can say is safe flying and clear skies.

CLIFF MORT A FEW SNIPPETS: BY PETE MAHER

It’s ironic that Roger Wareing should write about a sunken steam roller at Barton in last month’s Elevator because that was my intended next piece. I hope this will still prove interesting…

David Upton / Steam Engine

Some members may remember a jolly L.A.C. member by the name of David Upton. David was a Market Gardener, who farmed on Barton Moss, who sadly passed away over ten years ago. He could remember Barton from being a boy and always insisted that a steam engine had sunk into the peat which lay beneath the airfield. Eventually it sank totally beneath the surface and he always insisted that it was still beneath the ground.

Moving on to page 81 of ‘Three Score Years…’ I had managed to find a faded photograph of a HP42 belonging to Imperial Airways which was taken at Barton and was without doubt the largest aeroplane ever to visit the Aerodrome. ( I subsequently discovered that it was used to transport the first Royal visitor to Barton, namely the Duke of Gloucester who ironically was visiting an Agricultural Show at Hough End Fields, which of course had previously been Alexandra Park Aerodrome. )

We must now move on to a Wednesday afternoon, when I was in the Clubhouse chatting with the members of Manchester Bomber Command. A man entered the Clubhouse and when he started asking questions about the history of Barton he was pointed in my direction.

I produced a copy of my book for him to peruse and when looking at the illustrations he was drawn to page 81. He explained that the Handley Page HP42 had been seconded by the RAF during the second World War and he had met its pilot who had also been at the controls when the Duke of Gloucester was flown to Barton. The pilot had gone on to recount that during the approach to land he spotted the steam engine more than half submerged beneath the surface just to the side of the runway. Apparently he had re-visited Barton and upon enquiring about the disappearance of the steam roller he was informed that it had totally sank into the peat.

So there we have it. Definite confirmation of David Upton’s story. I wonder if “Time Team” would be interested ?

Footnote. The Airshow for 1984 included a Junkers 52 which actually arrived on the Friday for the Press Day. After the demonstration for the TV cameras it was parked out on the airfield beyond the fence line. It remained there until the time of its performance on the Sunday afternoon. However, in just that short time it had sunk well enough not to be able to move under its own power. A multitude of volunteers had to be summoned to pull and push it up onto firmer ground!!

Now that would have been something to brag and boast about if we also had a sunken Junkers 52!

My next Project : Did you know that the Hawker Hurricane was a Bi-plane ?

BAD CHARLIE FLIES AT LAST ...

Back in the 1970's Dave Greenwood bought a set of plans to build a Rollason Beta. After looking at the work involved, he decided it was too complex to build from scratch so he started looking round for a completed one. It took him 30 years, but at last he found one in need of refurbishment. In fact he has had to almost completely rebuild G- BADC, and at last it has arrived at Barton for assembly and final testing. This little single-seat racer (250 mph VNE) was winner of the PFA design competition for a homebuilt removable wings aircraft. To make it more "interesting" to land, the undercarriage was replaced with a smaller narrower one. Dave admits the handling may be "challenging". The log books for this 25 year old aircraft show a grand total of 8 hours.

TRIMTAB December 2005.

And here it is, a few years later, complete with permit, and flown by DG himself!! David says; “The Beta has flown!! 185 mph at 2500 revs!” THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS...

Barton ghost

The milkman reports seeing our ghost, at 4am Tuesday morning recently. Dressed in a boiler suit with old flying helmet, near the 32 numbers, the ghost vanished before the milkman could ask to see his membership card. Trimtab October 1999

Barton Radio By Alan Davies: Trimtab October 2004

Flying round the circuit recently I actually found myself laughing out loud at the different styles of RT to be heard through my headset. Here are a few:

• Visitors unaware of the new system and sticking to their own peculiar home brand of RT. • Instructors with their immaculate “laid-back dreaming of the future uniform and adulation” approach, usually sounding like Rimmer from Red Dwarf. • Students using wonderful mixtures of the old and new practices, plus inventing unique ones of their own, all accompanied with a huge dollop of nerves! • Older/arrogant members of Barton who don’t like any rules, regulations or changes using the old system or their own curt versions, the type who will never ever wear high vis jackets. • Those locals with broad Lancashire accents like myself who whatever technique they use sound thick: “Howdo Tom, Golf Whisky Lima ‘ere, am a allreet firt taxi owd cocker” To cap it all I heard the lad in the tower yawning out aloud a few times while replying to a request for airfield information!

Barton is great isn’t it! Let’s hope it never changes...Lng Cmp Results

Bob bales out - Trimtab September 1998

Whilst giving a demonstration ride at the Isle of Man Grand Prix, Bob Finlay’s motorbike allegedly skidded on oil leaking from another LAC member’s bike, causing Bob to crash into some straw bales. Even though he was wearing his usual protective jeans with decorative threadbare bits, Bob suffered a knee injury which kept him away from the bar for a couple of days.

Sadly, the bike is likely to be repaired. WEB SITE OF THE MONTH IS..

...NORTHERN AVIATORS...

We have formed an E group on Yahoo for all pilots based in the North of England including all the Airfields and Farm Strips in the surrounding areas.

The aim of the group is to put aviation back on the map in the North of England.

We also organise Fly Ins such as the Great North Fly In, Northern Aviation Rally and Lancashire Landing. We bring pilots from all sides of aviation together under one umbrella and have a lot of fun as well.

We cover from South Yorkshire, West Yorkshire, Humberside, North Yorkshire, Cleveland, Durham, Lancashire, Cumbria, Northumberland and the Scottish Borders. We even have one or two members outside the area with a connection with the North of England.

This group is for Light Aircraft/Microlight/AutoGiro/Paramotor/Powered Hanglider pilots based in the North of England as a facility to organise Fly Ins, exchange information and news of social events, planned flying trips to other airfields, both in the UK and abroad, and exchange both technical and non technical information on all types of aircraft. You will also meet like-minded people and even make a friend or two! It’s all free as well! No subscription etc!

Our membership is growing by the day. To keep in touch with what is going on in the North on the aviation front join us on our homepage http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/northernaviators/ or join us on Facebook on the following link; http://www.facebook.com/pages/NORTHERN-AVIATORS/313468139613?v=wall

Hope to hear from you soon! The boy shading his eyes, in front of the Lockheed 12, is John Coxon’s Uncle Jack in 1936. He was at a local school with Norman Jones. By 1944 Norman was in a POW camp ( shot down over Berlin ) and Jack was in hospital recovering from a D Day wound.

Folklore for aviators Remember that your aircraft knows more about flying than you do. Never practice spins with an instructor who wears a tie. If you give up flying, do it while on the ground. Don’t believe your fuel gauge when it reads Full. But always believe it when it reads Empty.

Pilot Quiz You can consider yourself a real grass-roots aviator if you can answer YES to some of the following: You’ve groundlooped a Cub after hitting a cow? Important bits of your aircraft have “Massey Ferguson” stamped on them? Your wingtips need more than one roll of gaffer tape to keep them on? When doing CofG calculations, you have to allow for the weight of mud stuck to your aircraft? You’ve refuelled at times by siphoning petrol out of a tractor? ASHES TO ASHES...

Last month’s article about what lies beneath Barton reminded me of the ashes that have been scattered, and buried, at Barton. I can think of a number of former pilots whose remains are either interred or scattered over the main airfield and it got me thinking about the subject.

I have specified in my will that I wish my ashes to be scattered from an aeroplane, but how easy is it?

A Scottish pilot has come up with a high-pressure system to propel cremated ashes from aircraft to ensure they are scattered to the winds. He has developed the system to avoid remains becoming plastered to the aircraft or even sucked into the cockpit. He said trials had proved popular with relatives and that some funeral directors had shown interest.

An application has been made to patent the ashes-firing system.

He believes that most people experience problems when trying to drop ashes from the air and told BBC Radio's Good Morning Scotland programme: "The poor departed-one generally ends up inside a vacuum cleaner rather than the clean air round an airplane. "The ashes weigh about 3kg and are about 3 litres in volume - the compounded bits are more like gravel."

The stunt pilot, who has experience of crop-dusting in the US, said his compressed air device was fairly simple and blew the ashes completely clear of the airframe.

He has already used the system for friends and family over the Isle of Bute, the Lake District, and East Lothian where he lives.

"My second system is where the ashes are suspended in the gas oil that forms part of the smoke system so you get a lovely plume of symbolic smoke," he added.

"I think it's rather touching, a beautiful aeroplane and the symbolic trail of smoke."

To drop ashes, he said permission was needed from the landowner and also from the Civil Aviation Authority, under the Air Navigation Order which covers the dropping of articles. Can you recognise these two pilots? One is Sir Alan who bears a striking resemblance to a Committee Member and the other shares the same interest as me!!! Answers at the end of the mag!!

Barton Airfield History Open Day

Saturday March 26th 2011

Hosted by Barton Airfield Heritage Society and Manchester Metropolitan University History in Practice Students

10.00 to 16.00hrs - In the Visitor Centre

Come and show and tell , bring along aeronautical material, we can copy or keep! Airfield tours Displays that illustrate the Barton Story Practice your morse code! Tell any of your recollections to the history students for the record.

The clubhouse bar will be open all day and car park £1.00 all day.

1600 to1800 - In the Clubhouse

1600 - A talk by a Barton flying instructor- "Interesting Moments at Barton"

1700 - A talk by a curator from the Manchester Museum of Science and Technology theme- " The Aviation History of the Manchester Area"

Contact; Dr Eric Isaac on [email protected] New news...

· The LAA has been informed that their magazine publisher, Loop Publishing (UK) Ltd has entered into Creditors Voluntary Liquidation. · After detailed consideration, we have decided to bring the publishing of our monthly magazine ‘Light Aviation’ in-house with immediate effect. We are in the process of building an appropriate team around our editor, Brian Hope, with support from expert colleagues within the publishing industry. Clearly there will be a transition period as we organise the team, but we will do our utmost to ensure that the high quality of the magazine will continue as previously, with minimal disruption, and that we continue to support our suppliers and trade advertisers. · All advertising within our magazine and associated publications will be dealt with direct by LAA HQ. · All advertising and general enquiries should be directed to Peter Harvey, CEO at the LAA ([email protected]) 07713 146263. · All editorial enquiries should be directed to Brian Hope, Editor ([email protected]) 07949 650847 · Peter Harvey, CEO LAA · 12th January 2011

Sandtoft remains closed but is scheduled to open for business again on 9 February. Check out their web site for details; http://www.sandtoftflyingclub.co.uk/index.html

Eddsfield is now open again with cheap fuel for sale.

I suffered my first bird strike last Saturday during take off in the Skybolt. Fortunately, there was no damage to the aircraft but the poor bird was obliterated. I was not aware at the time, but you are obliged to report the incident to the CAA and complete a report on line. I hope it never happens to you, but if it does, please bear this in mind. Further details can be found here; www.caa.co.uk/birdstrikereporting

My thanks to Pete Maher, Peter Clegg, Andy Halvorsen, Derek Brumhead, Eric Isaac, John Coxon, Cliff Whitwell and Mike Mothershaw who have all contributed to this issue. Letters to the Editor…

Dear Kate,

Many thanks for the excellent work you are doing as editor of the Elevator.

Our membership is now below 200 and it has been suggested to me that LAC is withering on the vine!

The reason for this letter is to open a discussion among members about increasing every members’ flying hours, whether as pilot or as a passenger. The free landings at associated airfields are a benefit to those with ready access to a 'plane. However there is not much to attract new members to join who do not fall into that lucky category. Some existing members may not even renew their membership, unless they really do enjoy the hike to get to Kenyon Hall Farm to socialise on the few days a year when it is open.

I would like to suggest that the Club buys or leases an aeroplane. It could be hangared at a local airport, and flown to our new home every day that KHF is open. It would be available there for the enjoyment of all members. On days that KHF is not open it would be available for hire to members at its base. The type? The costings? The logistics of booking flights? All open for discussion on the Website members’ forum!

It will cost LAC a packet to operate a 'plane of our own again. It will only happen if the committee sees that there is major support for the idea by a significant number of members showing their interest. It could happen this year. It is up to you!

There are many of our members who want to fly but do not currently have ready access to an aeroplane. To foster a better Club spirit I would suggest that those of us who are currently flying should make seats available to other members whenever possible. There is a rarely used section on the website specifically for that purpose. I have just made a late New Year’s resolution to use it!

John B. Coxon.

What do you think? E-mail me at the usual address; [email protected] WHY OH WHY?

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.

Why do we buy hamburgers in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..

EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while. More News from Dr Eric the Archivist

On the Scrounge: Can anybody help us with a serviceable PC? Monitor Morse key and sounder Knee pad with morse code on it.

Some thoughts: Any information about the DH Vampire that seemed to have lived at Barton would be most welcome, we have acquired the under carriage of said aircraft! re The comments in the last Elevator re buried aircraft. It seems highly unlikely that much was buried due to the high value of the scrap metal.

I have on record an interview with a lady who worked in the tower for most of WW2, and she said it was very quiet most of the time, with lots of odd jobs etc. She has no recollection of aircraft being buried, and the only weird events were the prowling US airmen visiting on repair jobs, they had nylons!! (For bartering, not wearing them!) The DH Rapide flights to Ireland were the only really notable events, they often had some odd passengers!

Any thoughts? E-mail me at; [email protected] J

Some memories about the Lancashire Aero Club. By Pete Maher

I qualified for my PPL in 1982. I have already written about some of the problems I encountered because of my small size but I thought I would try to recount some of the funny things which happened during that time.

When I booked my first trial lesson, the day dawned very windy. Nevertheless, I made my way to Barton where it transpired that two other chaps were also waiting for the same thing. When the instructor finally arrived he apologised for being late but explained that he had had ‘A bit of a bump in my Car !’ ( I’ve checked my Log Book and found that his name was Dave Pallet. I remember that at the Wings Dance he was an excellent Ballroom Dancer. I believe that he is now a Captain with Thomson / Ex Britannia Airways )

Whether it was because of the very windy conditions or the thought of going up with an instructor who had just had a crash, I don’t know. But both of the other two guys decided to cry off and opted for another date.! I was so keen to get started and couldn’t understand what the problem was and found the tossing and turning totally invigorating.

In those days the whole operation of Flying School activities, booking In / Out, payments for lessons or fuel etc were conducted from the top of the tower. Whilst waiting for my first full lesson I was sat there in the tower thinking to myself that this flying caper shouldn’t be too difficult. After all, because I was an avid aircraft spotter I already knew the phonetic alphabet. I understood the principle of numbering for runway headings and new the difference between QFE and QNH. I had already done some reading about the effects of the controls, which I thought I fully understood and I had passed my driving test after just ten lessons. This is going to be a doddle !

Just then I noticed some large white plastic visors with very long peaks hanging on the wall. “Hhhmmm” I thought to myself. “I wonder what those are for ? I know ! They’ll be used for landing, to keep the sun out of your eyes !”

At night all the club aircraft were parked in the hangar nearest to the clubhouse. Having just finished a lesson late in the evening, I was paying for my flying when my instructor asked me to do him a favour and taxi the aircraft up to the hangar. I completed the necessary payment, returned to the aircraft and got in. I had never started an aircraft alone before, so I had to refer to my checklist to remind myself of the starting procedure. I completed the task and then drove home. I was absolutely thrilled just to have taxied all on my own and couldn’t wait to get home and tell my mother and father what I had done. Thereafter I was at Barton every evening just so that I could taxi on my own again. The air was blue if I arrived to find that the fleet had already been put to bed.

This went on for quite a few evenings, then I thought I didn’t need the checklist any more and from memory checked Mixture to Rich, Carb Heat to Cold, Mags on Both, “Clear Prop !” Start Engine, Starter Light Out, Look Around, Release Breaks, Increase Power, Aircraft moving nicely then – Cough, Cough, Splutter, Splutter, and the Engine Stopped ! I couldn’t work out what was wrong until a friend, who had been watching me, came over laughing his socks down “ You forgot the Fuel Tap ! ” So it was back to the checklist the next night. I was still to be caught out yet again by that cursed device, later on during training.

I thought the day when I flew my first solo would never come but eventually somehow I “………undaunted and untarnished clattered off into ye firmament entirely circumnavigated ye airfield and alighted safely proving the age of miracles not to be dead”

The next lesson was of course circuit consolidation. So after completing the usual 3 circuits with the instructor on board ( Harvey Lazarus ) I went off solo again. I taxied to the hold for runway 27 and was waiting for an aircraft to land when I spotted a young couple watching from just over the fence. The girl waved to me so I waived back. The girl started jumping up and down excitedly and I was able to read her lips as she said to her boyfriend “ That Pilot has just waived to me”. Can you imagine what that did for my ego ?

By now Harvey had made his way to the top of the tower to observe my landings. As I lined up he called me on the radio : “Golf Alpha Charlie, can you turn off your landing light ?” I looked down at the myriad of switches and couldn’t for the life of me remember which switch needed turning off. The Pilot then had to ask “ Which switch is it ?” That certainly brought my ego down a bit ! I then went on to complete three lousy landings ! Somehow I managed to progress onto my Cross Countries, now under the guidance of Roy Byway and then came the Dual trip to Blackpool. I made an absolute greaser onto my first tarmac landing and was thrilled to be met by a marshaller on the apron with his two table tennis bats. “Oh Boy. This doesn’t come any better” I thought.

I felt so important as we made our way through a turnstile out into the public area. We passed by an elderly man who was probably with his grandson looking at the aeroplanes. “Are there any big ones coming in today ?” he asked. I replied that I didn’t know, to which he said to his grandson “Come on lets go. There’s only these little planes here today” I was absolutely gob smacked. Why wasn’t he interested in that brilliant bit of parking which I had just performed ? Hadn’t he been impressed by the most perfect landing Blackpool Airport had ever seen ? Feeling rather inferior now, I followed Roy into the terminal for a Coffee before the return leg.

We returned to the aircraft and out came my checklist. There was no need to turn the Fuel Tap back on because I remembered that during the shutdown Roy’s leg had been in the way. Sure enough, he had deliberately blocked the way with his leg, so when the now customary Cough, Cough, Splutter, Splutter, Stopped Engine threw my brain into total bewilderment yet again, he was howling with laughter.

I resolved that in future, I would never forget to check that Tap.

Watch out for the next thrilling instalment when I say “ Dan Air 456 – This is Barton. Pass your Message.” HEALTH AND SAFETY AT ITS BEST!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left- handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to maybe even a chuckle.

In other words, send it to everyone! (and God love that pig!) COMPER SWIFT COMES TO BREIGHTON

Breighton have acquired a beautiful Comper Swift from the widow of its previous owner. A superb looking aircraft, fitted with a Pobjoy engine, it even has a luggage compartment built into the fuselage for a set of golf clubs! Read about Nick Comper’s short and tragic life here.

Nick Comper was one of Britain’s most brilliant and influential aeronautical engineers of the early 1930s. He is best known for the design and manufacture of the “Comper Swift” light aircraft. The Swift enjoyed considerable success in the many flying competitions of the era, most notably the Kings Cup air race. In 1931 the plane broke the world record time for a flight from the UK to Australia. The aircraft was exported all over the world and several of them survive to the present day. Comper is regarded as one of the country’s pioneers in the development of commercial light aircraft.

Born in April 1897 he was the son of the celebrated church architect, Sir Ninian Comper and grandson of John Comper, a highly prominent clergyman in the Scottish Episcopal Church. Nick was brought up with his five brothers and sisters in Beulah Hill, Upper Norwood in London. He was educated at Dulwich College, where he was a pupil from September 1911 until July 1914.

At the outbreak of the first World War, Comper, at the age of seventeen, joined the aircraft manufacturer, , to study aeronautics. He was working as a draughtsman for The Aircraft Manufacturing Company , who built Henry and Mauraice Farman’s airplanes and seaplanes in Hendon in London, when he was released by them to sign up with the Royal Flying Corps in April 1916 as a second lieutenant, special reserve. As a pilot he was stationed in France and there he undertook dangerous reconnaisance missions throughout the rest of the war. He left behind him a record of events in a series of letters written to his mother. After the war he remained in what in 1918 had become the RAF. In 1920 he spent a year at Jesus College, Cambridge University, reading aerodynamics. From there he was stationed at Felixstowe to study and fly seaplanes and flying boats, then came the assignment as an engineering instructor at the Cranwell Academy, training cadets at the engineering laboratory. One of his pupils there was Frank Whittle, the inventor of the jet engine.

While at Cranwell he and some staff and pupils formed the Cranwell Light Aeroplane Club (in 1923) and they produced four aircraft in what they named the “CLA” class (Cranwell Light Aeroplane). One of them, a so-called “parasol monoplane”, won the International reliability trials at Lympne near Folkstone and the following year in the plane’s successor, the CLA-3, was second overall in the speed trials at the same event. By then it had became evident that to pursue his gifts as an aeronautical engineer he would need to leave the RAF and enter the business world. In March 1929 when Comper left the he formed the Comper Aircraft Company and set up a manufacturing plant to build the Comper Swift, an aircraft he had designed and whose origins were in the work he’s done at Cranwell. The plant was based at Hooton Aerodrome in Cheshire. The Prototype Swift (registered G- AARX) first made a public showing at Brooklands on 17 May 1930. The aircraft was a small but graceful single-seat braced high-wing monoplane of wooden construction and was powered by a 40 hp (30 kW) A.B.C Scorpion piston engine. After successful tests, seven more aircraft were built in 1930 powered by a 50 hp Salmson A.D.9 radial engine. Trials with Pobjoy P radial engine for use in air racing resulted in all the subsequent aircraft being powered by the Pobjoy R. The last three aircraft (sometimes called the Gipsy Swift) were fitted with de Havilland Gipsy engines - two with 120 hp (89 kW) Gipsy Major III and one with a 130hp (97 kW) Gipsy Major. Postwar, surviving Swifts continued to compete successfully in UK air races into the mid 1950’s. In fact, probably no other aircraft built in such small numbers has ever broken so many records and won so many prizes. Amongst these achievements one of the most outstanding was Charles Butler’s record 9 days 2 hours flight to Darwin, Australia in October 1931.

Swifts were entered in all the major air races of the period, competing in every King’s Cup Air race from 1930 to 1937. In the 1933 race no fewer than seven Swifts were entered. They won four of the qualifying heats and the G-ABW flown by Flight Lieutenant ECT Edwards took second place overall. In the 1930s the Kings Cup Air Race drew considerable national attention. The results would be published on the front pages of the national newspapers and the pilots became famous figures in their own right. As a pilot himself, Comper loved to race his own Swifts and one year was placed sixth in the Kings Cup Air Race.

But by March 1933 the Comper Aircraft Company was struggling and left Hooton, transferring production to Heston, where it was thought more modern production facilities would help production of the Mouse, the Kite and the Streak. Heston at the time was the hub of light aviation activity. The company strategy didn’t work, in spite of the many frantic changes to its board of directors in the final months and it proved to have been the company’s last desperate throw of the dice. By August 1934 Nick had lost control of his own company. It folded and was liquidated.

The company’s move from Hooton to Heston roughly coincided with the failure of his marriage to Phyllis with whom he had his only child, Naomi. The divorce ended up in the courts and was very messy. In those days divorce was heavily frowned upon. Comper was a colourful character and larger than life with a fondness of practical jokes and good company. He may not have been the most successful of businessmen but he inspired much loyalty from his employees. He was a dog lover. He acquired his own dog during the first world war and in later life was often seen with his Fox Terrier. He loved to write children’s stories for his daughter.

Of the planes he designed and built, only the Swift had any financial success. His other work. though technically brilliant and high performance, proved uncommercial. The Great Depression was a hard time for many who had businesses such as his. He could have sheltered from the storm by accepting one of the offers of work made to him by the big aircraft manufacturers but preferred to struggle on alone. He turned to consultancy in an effort to achieve financial survival and he persuaded Robert Blackburn, head of the Company, to appoint him technical advisor and chief designer of a project to build a helicopter designed by Oskar Asboth. Comper had some expertise in this field as in 1932 he had worked with Juan de la Cierva, the Spanish rotary wing aircraft pioneer, on a single seat touring autogiro, the Comper C25, using a Swift airframe. The project was not a success nor were his next moves.

He went to central London where he set up another consultancy in the Strand with a friend called Francis Walker, a location which proved to be far beyond both their financial means. He’d known Walker because he had been one of his pilots. In the previous year Walker had narrowly escaped death in a crash of the Gipsy Swift while competing in the King’s Cup air race.

Nick Comper had long operated in the highest circles and had attracted several backers. Among them it’s thought was Lord Ronald Graham (who was the second son of the 6th Duke of Montrose). More committed was Lord Patrick Crichton Stuart (son of the 4th Marquess of Bute) . Both found themselves much the poorer as a result.

Comper worked from home on “the Scamp”, a reconnaisance aircraft, and it was built by students at Brooklands but not completed. Restlessly, in December 1936 he formed Comper Aeroplanes Limited and set about designing two airliners he named the “Dominion” and “Commerce”, which was where his heart now lay. It seems, the Scamp project was only a means to an end.

His last years had been spent in desperate attempts to maintain his professional credibility, efforts which were hampered further by the opposition of hostile ex-associates and business partners.

His chaotic affairs were brought to an abrupt climax in June 1939, when Comper died, at the age of 42, in tragi- comic circumstances. So dire were his finances that his electricity and gas had been cut off. One day Nick decided to distract himself by paying a visit to see the work in progress on the Scamp and he stopped on his way at a pub in Hythe. He decided it would be a good idea to let off fireworks inside the pub but was ordered by the publican to go outside. Once there, he bent down to set off a firework when a passer-by asked what he was doing. He is reported to have replied “I am going to blow up the Town Hall. I am an IRA man”. This proved to be his last practical joke. The man knocked him down and he fell and hit his head on a curb and Comper suffered a brain haemorrhage as a result. His last words in hospital were said to have been “I didn’t know prisons had such comfortable beds”.

After he died, a young woman of 22, by the name of Molly, came forward and said she and Nick Comper were engaged to be married. His daughter, Naomi, thought this was credible.

His death revealed just how calamitous his personal affairs had become. His executor (his brother Sebastian) was able to pay his creditors only about 6p in the pound. He was bankrupt.

Two days before her death in 2007 his daughter, Naomi, disclosed that she believed her father was an alcoholic. This may or may not have been true, but without doubt the last years of his life had been in a sorry state. Yet, if only he had lived a few months longer his career might well have been rescued by the second world war and its imperative appetite for the services of aeronautical engineers.

The development of technical innovation in Britain is strewn with the names of brilliant and eccentric individuals who were never able to gain the support their work merited from the establishment to further their inventions. Even Barnes Wallis, Frank Whittle, Neville Norway and Christopher Cockerall all suffered in the face of British industrial inertia. Had Nick Comper received the financial backing he deserved his could have been a very different story.

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus.

Symptoms: 1.. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. Done that!

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail ! That too!

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person..yep!

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.Aha!

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. Well darn!

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. Oh, no not again!

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND.." And I just hate that!

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."Oh No!

IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS." AIRCRAFT AND SHARES etc FOR SALE

LAC Member Ian Jones has had a number of enquiries about setting up a group (2 to 4-max) probably around a Flight Design CTLS. So if you’re interested, you’d better hurry!!

The Flight Design CTLS is the new version of the CT and is the next step forward with its advanced aerodynamic design, carbon fibre airframe, BRS parachute system, standard Dynon Glass panel and Garmin 496 GPS with XM weather. New design features make the CTLS a joy to fly and perfect for pilots of all skill levels. The longer fuselage design of the CTLS minimizes drag and maximizes interior room for you, your passenger and baggage. The new composite landing gear is designed to reduce rebound and smooth out the roughest of landings.

Interested ? Then contact Ian on; [email protected]

Photo for identification purposes only. G-LADZ

Enstrom 480 turbine. Based at Barton. One of the few heli groups in the country. A share is available if anyone is interested.

Please contact; Stephen Halliwell on 07703-531666

Scales for Hire. Scales for Hire. Please hire them!

For hire – an electronic weigh scale for aircraft, presently out of calibration, but will renew if required. Weighs one wheel at a time, whilst other wheels levelled on shims (35mm thick). Range 500kg in 0.2kg steps, so will weigh an aeroplane up to 1000kg.

For availability and price, please contact Martyn Coles, 0771 480 4087. Cessna 150L G-PLAN shares Shares for sale in the very friendly 20 member G-PLAN group. Availability is good. The aircraft had a respray and renewed upholstery not too long ago so is in excellent condition. The aircraft has an ADF, VOR, Mode C and a group portable GPS. Regularly maintained at Barton, there are about 1500 hours on the engine. The group finances are in a good state including engine fund. Costs are monthly £40, hourly (wet) £45 and shares are on offer for £1400. An excellent first aircraft but NO hours builders though!

For more information about joining contact Cyril Jones via email: [email protected] or telephone: (01625) 876849

SHARES FOR SALE IN G-BJXB

Slingsby T67A G-BJXB New Group Shares £3750/Share £60/Hour Wet £70/Month Inclusive

Put the Fun back in your Flying! Call Steve 07885 390702 [email protected] Piper Arrow IV PA28RT-201 1/10th Share for Sale £6,000 ono

Piper Arrow IV PA28RT-201 N2943D, 1/10th share for sale Variable Pitch Propeller, Retractable Undercarriage Garmin 430 GPS Top Engine Overhaul New Exterior Paint Transponder + Mode C 2 x Nav Comm-VOR/ILS/ADF Very Nice and Clean Interior Auto Pilot Coupled to the Garmin 430 Long Range Tanks - 6 hours endurance Electric Trim Can be flown in the UK with JAR/CAA License Friendly & Efficiently Run Group, Excellent Availability, Online Booking Hangared at Manchester City Airport (formerly Barton Aerodrome) £75 per month, £70 per hour wet.

Contact: Bryn Charlton Tel: 01925 765141 Mobile: 07976 929832 CESSNA 172 G-AWVA

1/8th SHARE FOR SALE

In excellent condition, hangared at Barton. Zero timed engine less than 600 hrs. ago ( Rolls Royce Continental Six cylinder O-300 145 hp very smooth ) Airframe 2800 hrs. Annual Due Oct 2010. Internet booking system, excellent availability. Long established sociable group. Will accept newly qualified PPL. £70.00 per Month £60.00 per Hour Wet King KX170B & Bendix King KY97 Nav/Comm‘s Bendix TR8, ADF, DME, Mode C Transponder, New Garmin SL40

Contact :- Geoff on:- Mobile No. 07768 282760 or E-Mail gnogrant@hotmail.

Share price; Offers over £2000.00

Do you have an aircraft or shares that you are looking to sell? Or any aviation

accessories? If so, then advertise them HERE ! Honorary Officers: Mr Tom Dugdale - President Mr Mike Bowden - Trustee Mr Cyril Jones - Trustee Mr Martin Rushbrooke – Trustee

The Committee: Mr Cliff Mort - Chairman Mr Kevin McGuire - Vice Chairman and Partner Fields Co-ordinator Miss Kate Howe - Club Secretary, Elevator editor, Social Secretary Mr John Latimer - Airfield Sub-Committee Mr John Coxon - Airfield Sub-Committee, Airfield Safety Officer Mr Andy Halvorsen - Treasurer, Airfield Sub-committee, Company Secretary Mr Peter Gaskell Mr Chris Barham - Membership, communications Mr David Kaberry - Airfield Sub-Committee Mr Cliff Whitwell - Airfield Sub-Committee

Mr Eric Isaac - Ex Officio Archivist. For any historical information please contact:

Eric Isaac - Club Archivist on [email protected]

SQUINT AND YOU CAN READ THE RAF MESSAGE

Recent Harrier final fly Past over Downing Street Baby Face... No prize for the winners, except the satisfaction of spotting it was a very young Chris Hicks featured earlier!! The other photo is of our very own Treasurer and twin of Alan Cobham, Andy Halvorsen!

Two Irish hunters got a Pilot to fly them to the Canadian Rockies to hunt Moose. They bagged six.

As they started to load the plane for the return trip, the pilot said that the plane could only take four. The two lads objected strongly.

" Bejasus. Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board. He had exactly the same plane as yours, to be sure "

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However even with full power the little plane couldn't handle the load. It went down a few moments after take off.

Climbing out of the mangled wreckage Paddy asked Seamus " Mother of Mercy, where the hell are we ?"

' Bejasus, I think we're pretty close to the spot where we crashed last year. ''

Material, both past and present, published in The Elevator, does not reflect the opinions of the Editor nor those of the LAC Committee.