TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020 / VOLUME 147, ISSUE 1 Campus Times SERVING THE UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER COMMUNITY SINCE 1873 / campustimes.org Dining Pantry: a For Iranian UR students, Overseas Tensions Take a Toll New Place to Eat By ASHLEY YOON CONTRIBUTING WRITER

There’s a new place to eat at River Campus. The Brew — which has coffee, tea, soups, sandwich- es, and salads — opened on Tuesday in Schlegel Hall of the Simon Business School. The menus at the Danforth and Douglass dining halls were updated over winter break. These menus will in- corporate more plant-based foods into their dishes. The Pit will incorporate more va- riety in their menus, like more made-to-order grill items ac- cording to Cam Schauf, the Director of Campus Dining Services. “Student feedback drives change for us,” Schauf said. Students can give feedback in HENRY LITSKY/PHOTO EDITOR various ways, like writing on The confict between the Iranian and U.S. governments feels too close to home for UR’s Iranian students. the napkin note boards in the dining halls, taking surveys, By EFUA AGYARE-KUMI no response. He called his of the nightmare is happening U.S. to visit family until they and using a text messaging MANAGING EDITOR parents in Iran and told them: tonight.” fnish their degree program. app called Voice of the Con- “Grab your suitcases, whatever As hellish as it’s been this Since the killing of Qassim sumer. Editor’s Note (1/26/2020): you can. There will be a war.” January, three students told the Suleimani, Iranians and Irani- Schauf hopes that Dining There are 27 Iranian students For Americans, the U.S.-Iran Campus Times that being Ira- an-Americans have been de- Services’ recent partnership on campus. The three Iranian military escalation this Janu- nian in America has never been tained for hours upon re-entry with The Spare Food Com- students interviewed for this ary ignited fear and an infux of easy.. They said they’ve grown to America. The killing has had pany, a company that helps story were granted anonymity memes to cope with the possi- accustomed to operating by a other effects on the students, cooks create new dishes to to protect against retaliation. bility of World War 3. But two different set of rules in many who said they felt reluctant to minimize food waste, will have an effect at UR “This They are referred to as frst, of the Iranian students inter- contexts — when applying for share their nationality or speak program will help our chefs second, and third student. viewed for this story said they jobs, visas, credit cards. to the current tensions for fear maximize the yield from our can hardly remember a time “Being an Iranian has a lot of being stigmatized. ingredients in every dish,” he On Jan. 8, the frst Iranian when they and their families of consequences and disadvan- This burden is why some said. UR student who spoke to the didn’t fear war. tages,” said the frst student. “I Iranian citizens disapprove of For students who run out Campus Times opened tab after The second student said her had my bank account closed their government and its efforts of declining or meal swipes, tab of news sites and President parents also packed their bags fve times without giving me to antagonize the U.S., said the however, senior and SA Donald Trump’s Twitter, wait- that night, just as they had done notice.” third student. But while a size- President Jamal Holtz recom- ing for Western news outlets to 40 years ago to fee the Iran-Iraq Chase, the bank most acces- able amount of the population mends the University food pick up the story of Iran’s retal- war which razed her father’s sible to UR students, does not is unhappy with the current re- pantry, a free source of food for University students. Cre- iatory missile attacks that Ira- home to the ground. She re- allow Iranians to open accounts. gime, students said Suleimani’s ated in 2017 and made opera- nian media had been reporting called how her hands shook as Some companies refuse to hire death had halted civil unrest. tional year-round in fall 2019, for about a half-hour. she read news of the airstrike on Iranians. Students said they are “When they assassinated Su- the food pantry was created to He phoned his cousin, who her phone. “All of this fear that rarely given multiple-entry vi- leimani, it was as if the whole tackle food insecurity. lives in Erbil, Iraq — the place I’ve had for 10 years or more,” sas, even as students, making it country was reunited,” said the SA’s Student Life Commit- that had just been hit. 20 calls, she remembered thinking, “all nearly impossible to leave the frst student. “The U.S. man- tee researched food insecu- rity in the U.S. and around SEE IRAN PAGE 2 the world. This data gave the idea of a committee which ac- In MLK Address, Princeton Scholar Urges a Complete Memory of King cording to Holtz consisted of By WIL AIKEN on March 16, 1968, a month be- principles over privilege. But I ticular sort of way, that actually representatives from student EDITOR-IN-CHIEF fore he was assassinated. King’s pray to God that there are some affrms America’s inherent good- government and the Offce of popularity had waned, Glaude left.” ness, and it becomes a part of our the Dean of Students to de- said, over his stance on the Viet- In the audience Q&A after his exceptionalist narrative.” velop the food pantry system. In his Martin Luther King Jr. nam War and push for action to speech, Glaude talked about why Glaude’s delivery of the Although the food pantry is Commemorative Address, Princ- end poverty that some perceived he chose to emphasize this ele- speech was emphatic and impas- mainly managed by Wilson eton scholar Eddie S. Glaude as dangerous. King, Glaude said, ment of King. sioned, but he routinely checked Commons Student Activities, Jr. didn’t bring up the “I Have “had hit his own wall.” “I’m trying to disrupt a cer- in with the audience with a “y’all other organizations on cam- a Dream” speech. That wasn’t Glaude quoted King’s speech: tain way in which we [perceive] alright?” in between sections. pus are helping maintain it. mentioned until the Q&A. In- “I must honestly confess that I go him,” he said. “The way in which (“It’s the Baptist preacher in SA government, for instance, stead, Glaude’s speech in Strong through moments of disappoint- we remember Dr. King in this me,” he said.) is working on increasing stu- Auditorium on Friday evening ment when I have to recognize moment is that we domesticate ‘I Using writer James Baldwin’s dent engagement with the focused on a different aspect of that there aren’t enough white Have a Dream,’ we reduce him to refections on and memories of food pantry and raising mon- King: his despair. persons in our country that are ‘63, and then we characterize the King as a focal point, Glaude ey. The Dean of Students’ Of- Glaude began by describing willing to cherish democratic ‘I Have a Dream’ speech in a par- brought the address from the fce and the Offce of Alumni a fundraising speech King gave SEE DINING PAGE 3 SEE MLK PAGE 3 INSIDE WARNER CASTLE IMPEACHMENT Y2K PARTY SWIMMING

THIS CT PAGE 4 COMMUNITY PAGE 8 OPINIONS PAGE 5 CULTURE PAGE 12 SPORTS PAGE 2 / campustimes.org CAMPUS / TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020

IRAN FROM PAGE 1 picture of it because it was just far away from their Dining CONT’D -aged to do what the re- home.” gime could not do in 40 Despite Trump’s upbeat years.” tweets after the air strike, The third student said Su- his speech after Iran’s air- leimani was perceived as a strike doubled down on the “decent man” whose ac- U.S.’s hardliner position tions helped secure Iran’s towards Iran, as did his de- interests abroad. cision to sanction more Ira- “I’m not a fan of him, but nian industries. he was the second most im- The sanctions, the first portant person in Iran,” the of which were reinstated in first student said. “I have a 2018 when the U.S. left the very big problem with how nuclear deal, have plunged he got assassinated.” Iran into a deep recession. Students spoke not only Once again, the people who about the political signifi- feel this clampdown most cance of recent events, but strongly are Iranian citi- the suffering those events zens. brought upon ordinary peo- The second student said ple. Two spoke with audible she often sends her parents pain about the passengers over-the-counter drugs like on Ukraine International aspirin and vitamins, which Airlines Flight 752, which have become scarce in Iran was misidentified as a mis- thanks to the sanctions. sile and shot down hours Cancer patients no longer after Iran’s missile attack. have access to chemother- “All of them had lives apy treatments. Her brother that mattered,” said the in Iran, who is protesting first student. “Because of against the airline bomb- this show of power, 176 ing, is struggling to start a people died by accident.” life and buy a house. The second student de- Though the memes have scribed trying to keep up faded, the students said her daily routine, despite they are not at ease just her sadness. “I was listen- yet. It remains to be seen ing to the news [about the how the news that 34 U.S. Ukrainian airliner] and I soldiers suffered traumatic cried at my office,” she brain injury from the strike THIS WEEK ON CAMPUS said. may affect relations in the The first student said the future. TUESDAY | JAN. 28 THURSDAY | JAN. 30 mortal consequences of the “As long as our govern- war scare seemed to garner ments are not in a good re- 6TH ANNUAL TEAM BASED CARE SYM- PRODUCT VS PERSONA: WHO WE ARE VS little attention in the U.S., lationship,” said the second POSIUM WHAT WE OFFER perhaps because they did student, “we will always SARAH FLAUM ATRIUM 7:30 A.M. - 1:30 P.M. DOUGLASS 403 7 - 8:15 P.M. not directly impact most have this fear of war.” Persona refers to the soft skills we possess and Americans. 6th Annual Team Based Care Symposium acquiere. Product refers to the technical skills and “U.S. has been in war Everyday we face challenges in providing the Agyare -Kumi is a member practical experience we acquire that add value to highest quality care for our patients. This year’s with God-knows-how- of the class of 2021. our candidate applications for jobs/ internships. Symposium will focus on how to overcome these many countries. But the Come and learn more about these skills with our barriers as we all work towards functioning in guest speaker people in U.S. don’t have a high performing teams. UNIVERSITY CHARTER WEEK 2020 WOMEN’S SUFFRAGE: PAST + PRESENT RUSH RHEES LIBRARY, RARE BOOKS, 9 A.M. - 5 P.M. KODAK HALL, 7:30 - 9:30 P.M.

Join Rare Books and Special Collections for a Join Music Director Ward Stare for the world once-a-year opportunity to view the University’s premiere of a new work by an emerging female Charter, learn about the document’s history, and composer. Plus, playwright Mark Mobley is consider our institutional origins. GOT A SCOOP? creating a new theatrical work setting the stories of strong Rochester women, past and present, to music.

WEDNESDAY | JAN. 29 FRIDAY | JAN. 31

WORLD MUSIC SERIES: ZHOU FAMILY CINEMA GROUP FILM: KNIVES OUT BAND HOYT HALL AUDITORIUM, 6:00 P.M. - 2:00 A.M. HATCH RECITAL HALL, 7:30 - 9:30 P.M. A detective investigates the death of a patriarch DROP US of an eccentric, combative family. FREE and open A LINE Hailing from Linbgi in the Anhui Province of to all. Showtimes at 6:30, 9:15, and Midnight. central eastern China, the music they perform has accompanied birth and death celebrations of people of Central-Eastern China for more than 600 years.

RUEDA WINTERFEST WEEKEND RIVER CAMPUS O’BRIEN DANCE STUDIO, 6 :00- 7:00 P.M. at the Join Salseros for their General Members Meeting Enjoy the winter splendor that Rochester has to and learn the dance stlye of Rueda! ofer by roasting marshmallows or watching the live ice-carving demonstration and student group performances. These events are guaranteed to Campus Times drive away the winter blahs.

If you are sponsoring an event that you wish to submit for the calendar, please email [email protected] by Monday evening with a brief summary, including the date, time, location, sponsor, and cost of admission. EMAIL [email protected] TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020 / CAMPUS campustimes.org / PAGE 3

DINING FROM PAGE 1 MLK FROM PAGE 1 worn, like we’ve been here Puerto Rican Students Feel Left before.” Offce and the Offce of 1968 fundraiser to King’s Then, pausing in be- Behind After Earthquakes Alumni Relations are also assassination, and eventu- tween sentences for the By COREY MILLER-WILLIAMS Basu Perez said the US helping to fund the pantry, ally to the present. A recur- audience to murmur in re- NEWS EDITOR government has placed too and SA is working with the ring motif was something sponse, Glaude referenced many regulations on fed- Offce of Alumni Relations Baldwin wrote after King’s the Rochester school cri- eral aid coming into Puerto to start a donation account murder. sis, mass incarceration, Since December, a series for the pantry in order to in- “Most people are not in and poverty, finally ask- of large-scale earthquakes Rico, which have prevented the use of most of the funds crease publicity. action worth very much,” ing: “How many souls have has been hitting southwest Located in Wilson Com- Glaude quoted. “And yet been darkened because of Puerto Rico, decimating its dedicated to earthquake re- lief. “That’s why it’s taken mons 105, the food pantry every human being is an the corrosive effects of infrastructure and leaving is open on Mondays from 2 unprecedented miracle. America’s original sin? much of its populace without so long for even a little bit of the money to actually be able to 6 p.m., Thursdays from 4 One tries to treat them as What has been the cost of a home. to 8 p.m., and Fridays from the miracles they are while this long journey?” “We’re all very nervous,” to be spent,” he said. Basu Perez added that the 2 to 6 p.m.. Any Arts, Sci- trying to protect one- “Something has died,” frst-year and executive ences, & Engineering stu- self against the disasters Glaude said. “But the secretary of the Puerto Ri- relationship between Puerto Rico and the federal govern- dents can get access to the they’ve become.” ghost will not leave us can Student Organization food pantry if they email the The word “disaster” was alone. True freedom for all (PRSO) Luiza Gruel Budet ment has been strained by President Donald Trump’s Pantry Coordinator at pan- repeated throughout the Americans requires that we said. “During the break, in [email protected] evening. “And here we confront the ghost direct- the [PRSO group] chat we administration, which has delayed sending aid to Puerto or talk to an advisor. are today,” Glaude said to- ly. Maybe tell a different were talking, like ‘Is every- Through the pantry, Holtz wards the end of his speech, story. A better story about body okay?’ when we felt the Rico. He added that Trump’s perception of Puerto Rican said he hopes students will “living in the shadows of how we’ve arrived at this earthquakes.” donate to the pantry and the disaster that is our cur- moment. A story that will Puerto Rico has been expe- government offcials creates a lack of trust between the help others gain access to rent moment and grappling release us into the possibil- riencing quakes and tremors food and basic hygienic with our own temptation ity of being different hu- since Dec. 28, 2019, with the Puerto Rican state govern- ment and the federal govern- products like deodorant and of despair.” He referenced man beings.” frst earthquake coming after toothpaste. the impeachment trial, the a week of tremors and shut- ment. “There is the sense that, for armed protest in Virginia, Aiken is a member of the ting down the power grid for Yoon is a member of the and the military tension Class of 2021. three days. Gruel Budet said some reason, instead of send- ing the good money of the Class of 2023. with Iran. “The divisions PRSO is looking to organize in the country feel old and an event to gather resources federal government to help for earthquake relief. the farmers in the midwest “We’re talking about 3.5 or whatever, you’re sending million American citizens it over to Puerto Rico, and that in a matter of minutes somehow that’s bad for some were left in the dark,” junior reason [...] that’s at least how C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · and PRSO president Brian the president views it,” Basu Basu Perez said. Puerto Ri- Perez said. C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · co’s public utility, PREPA, However, Basu Perez said WRITE FOR THE tweeted on January 13 that that Puerto Ricans have more C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · power has been restored to political power than Trump 99 percent of the homes and estimates. C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · businesses it serves. Many “Given, we do not vote for people living in Puerto Rico the president,” he said, “we C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · still have no homes. The As- vote in the primaries, but sociated Press estimates that still, we are citizens. We’re C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · fve thousand people have not nationals, like the people C been left homeless by the in Guam. We’re citizens. So C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · C · earthquakes. if we move to a state such The most recent earth- as Florida or New York, we C · C · C · C · CCAMPUS · C · C · C · C · TIMESC · C · C · C · C · C · C · quake occurred Saturday, the automatically are able to latest in a long line of daily vote and acquire full rights earthquakes that Basu Perez as citizens. So I think that’s Coronavirus not on Campus and Gruel Budet say have also a problem. The federal government doesn’t feel like By LUMI SCHILDKRAUT Zhang’s research group, Zhang UHS has taken steps to try brought to the surface politi- SENIOR STAFF cal tensions and people’s dis- it owes a debt to Puerto Rico reached out to several Univer- and address the possibility of the trust of the government. For just because they don’t par- sity offcials, including one at coronavirus appearing on cam- the second time in two years ticipate in federal elections.” The new coronavirus isn’t on the Global Engagement Offce. pus. As of late Friday night, it had Puerto Ricans are protesting Basu Perez referred to the campus, University offcials say, After that offce recommended to contacted 68 of 71 students from against the sitting governor. warehouse of unused aid as but that hasn’t stopped rumors Zhang that students with concerns Wuhan and nearby locations. All In 2019, people protested an example of governmental and fear from spreading among should reach out to UHS, he sent those students have been told to for former governor Ricardo inaction that has led Puerto students about the deadly disease. an email to members of his group contact UHS immediately if they Rosselló to resign after chat Ricans to take matters into The rumors about the disease saying that a student had returned start experiencing a fever, cough, messages in which he dis- their own hands. After the — which has been given the from Wuhan and had a cold, and or shortness of breath. paraged political opponents, warehouse was discovered, name novel coronavirus — came that two group members weren’t “We will modify this strategy journalists, women, and LG- he said, people began taking just over a week after students re- feeling well. The subject line be- as needed if the virus starts to BTQ+ people. the supplies within for them- turned to UR from winter break. gan: “VERY IMPORTANT!!! spread in other areas that could Now Puerto Ricans are selves. He said state govern- “We have learned from several precaution, coronavirus concern affect UR students,” Manchester protesting Governor Wanda ment offcials responded by schools that students believe in- from Wuhan.” said. Vázquez, Rosselló’s replace- saying that people should correctly that the virus is already A screenshot of that email was Manchester characterized the ment, after the discovery of a take the supplies because the present here, and the level of posted on Facebook in the popu- risk to UR at this time as low, but warehouse full of emergency supplies are for them. concern — especially among our lar group Ever Better Memes for reminded people to take care of aid unused since Hurricane “He [the director of the Chinese students — seems to be Meliora Teens. themselves as usual and to take Maria. She has claimed that Emergency Management rising,” Provost and Senior Vice Meanwhile, UHS was screen- advantage of UHS’ fu shots. she and most of her govern- Agency] didn’t really get the President for Research Robert ing the sick student, who on The Center for Disease Control ment were unaware of this message, he didn’t realize Clark said in an email to the Uni- Thursday evening was cleared as recommends that people get vac- aid, and has since fred three that people were taking the versity community. not having the coronavirus. cinated against the fu, though members of her government, supplies because [he was] “We have no reason to believe UHS Director Ralph Manches- they note that there is currently including the director of the so incompetent,” Basu Perez there are cases of novel corona- ter said that it was not unusual for no vaccine to protect against the Emergency Management said. virus on our campuses or in the students to be sick, but that UR coronavirus. It also recommends Agency. “People really need poli- Rochester area,” Clark continued, was still taking precautions to ad- proper handwashing and staying “It’s really frustrating ticians and leaders and bu- before discussing next steps and dress the possibility that the coro- home when sick. to know that we protested reaucrats to step up and show the precautions people can take to navirus could appear on campus. Novel coronavirus was frst re- this corrupt government in that instead of adding to the protect themselves from getting “At this time of year we’re go- ported to the World Health Orga- summer, and to see it hap- noise, they’ll contribute,” sick. ing to have dozens of students nization on Dec. 31, 2019. It was pening again,” Gruel Budet he later added, “and they’ll The rumors began when a stu- who are sick with respiratory confrmed to be a new pathogen a said. “And it’s worse when leave politics aside, because dent fell ill after returning to UR symptoms,” Manchester said. week later. Since then, more than the government claims they there is a national emergen- from Wuhan. Soon after, two “It’s not different this year than 2,000 cases have been confrmed, don’t know anything about cy.” other students began to feel un- any other year. But we’ve put a lot including fve in the U.S. it, so it’s frustrating because well. Because they had all been of effort into contacting students you don’t know who to trust Miller-Williams is a mem- in contact at a Jan. 17 meeting who we know have a home ad- Schildkraut is a member of or what to believe.” ber of the Class of 2023. of optics professor Xi-Cheng dress in affected parts of China.” the Class of 2020. PAGE 4 / campustimes.org TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020 COMMUNITY The Scottish Castle in the Park

By EVELYN PINEDA of the castle, specifcally pin- a part of the Highland Park FEATURES EDITOR points the castle’s architec- Conservancy and the garden is tural style to that of Scottish free to the public. Indoor tours By SARAH CHEN Clan Douglas’ ancestral castle. of the castle were once permit- CONTRIBUTING WRITER There seem to be many archi- ted, but ended when the castle tectural structures that belong became a center for the Land- A historic stone castle stands to the Clan, but none of them mark Society. in Highland Park. As the only strictly resemble the Warner Regardless, the castle and its castle in Rochester, Warner Castle. In that case, it appears garden are still scenic enough Castle is a unique architectural that the Warner Castle was to make you feel swept up into treasure within the city. At this given a unique touch by taking a fairytale land. Many choose time of year, the limestone-en- on ideas of the other castles and to take their prom and/or wed- cased beauty is complemented creating its own hybrid. ding pictures in this location by snow and a sense of seren- Ownership of the castle was because of the magical back- ity. It holds a botanical library passed down the Warner fam- ground that it provides. Al- and a sunken garden. ily line until 1902, when Hora- though the site is now covered Built in 1854, the castle tio Warner sold the home. in snow, its revival in the spring showcases mid-19th century The famous sunken garden and fourishing greens in the Scottish infuences, such as was constructed under the sec- summer add another layer to its high ceilings, walnut wood- ond non-familial owner. From mesmerizing feeling. work, and a grand staircase in 1944, the residence served as Pineda is a member of the entry hall. The Landmark a sanitarium until the city of the Class of 2023. Society of Western New York, Rochester bought the property Chen is a member of which operates from inside in 1951. Since then it has been the Class of 2023.

EVELYN PINEDA / FEATURES EDITOR SARAH CHEN / CONTRIBUTING WRITER A frosty look on the sunken garden. The Warner Castle and its unique architecture.

CT EATS A Big Bayou Bang for Your Buck

couldn’t hold myself back. The pleased with this beef sausage. ing out of the gumbo, but there dessert. The dessert options chicken was moist and tender Though it should technically didn’t seem to be any meat featured Southern staples, like — melt-in-your-mouth vibes. have been the exact same beef there I did fnd one tiny (very peach cobbler, banana pud- And the sausage brought the sausage used in the jambalaya, tiny) chunk of what appeared ding, and Kristian’s pick: the meaty heartiness to round out the meaty favor was stronger, to maybe be crab at the bottom beignets. this cozy dish. balanced by the lighter, sweeter of the broth. Otherwise there Being a Norwegian gent, I was already feeling pretty seafood. It was perfect for cut- was no evidence of the where- Kristian had never before By OLIVIA BANC stuffed after that, so I was un- ting through the acidity of the abouts of the king crab. But this heard of or tasted a beignet, so COLUMNIST prepared for what came next. tomato-based broth. dish — costing only $13.95 US he didn’t know what to expect. My red gumbo entree was The tomato-based red money dollars — like the last, And I — being both lactose I’ve dedicated tons of these enormous and had me #quak- gumbo broth was undoubt- was fairly priced, especially for and wheat intolerant — could CT Eats columns to the cause ing, especially after I tasted it. edly a winning element. It had the portioning of it. So it’s safe not taste the beignets to help of exploring international cui- It had the same tender pulled a bright tomato favor without to say that I still felt I got some him judge them. All I can of- sines — which has been great chicken as the jambalaya, but being too acidic, and the sea- big bayou bang for my humble fer was Kristian’s statement: — but it’s time to come back now it was stewed in red gum- soning was complex with a buck. “They’re good. I like them.” I home. The US has many killer bo broth, making it more delec- pleasing layering of favors. I will also take a moment to hope that helps. regional cuisines, and the hot table. My only downside was that I honor Kristian’s meal. He had I was impressed by the food dishes from down by the bay- The shrimp was perfectly was quite confused about the already eaten dinner at Dou- at The French Quarter, espe- ou belong to one of its best. So, cooked and favorful from the king crab that was meant to be glass before I forced him to cially considering the pricing. this week, my friend Kristian way it was essentially mari- somewhere inside of it. There come with, so he wasn’t hun- You could honestly go there and I moseyed down to The nating in the broth. I was also was one skinny crab leg stick- gry and ended up just ordering and just order the jambalaya French Quarter to savor some appetizer for $4.95 and leave cajun and creole delicacies. satisfed. Or do the Kristian I kicked off by jumping into thing and order a glass of wine some jambalaya. The chicken and some beignets and pick and sausage jambalaya “appe- food off of your friend’s plate. tizer” was sized as a suitable That’s valid, too. entree portion, even by U.S. The restaurant is located in- standards. And it was only side of a picturesque historic $4.95, which is a wild deal, mansion, which enhances the good food or not. Thankfully, experience. I will add that the it actually was great. The favor service was quite slow, but if was rich and warm with tons you don’t mind that, then you of seasoning, good salt, and a should have a wonderful time light touch of spice. characterized by classic Louisi- The rice was rich and stew- ana favors bold enough to im- y, making the dish homey. I’m press any Southern belle. OLIVIA BANC / COLUMNIST Banc is a member of not a huge rice person, but this A delicious jambalaya at The French Quarter. was creamy and favorful and I the Class of 2021. TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020/CULTURE campustimes.org/PAGE 5 CULTURE Y2K Party Leaves Several ‘The Lighthouse’ will make Somethings to be Desired you question your sanity By HAILIE HIGGINS university students, someone begging him to play Superbass By WILL LEVE scent into madness. His facial OPINIONS EDITOR cleaned the bathroom. by Niki Minaj. He dismissed us, CULTURE EDITOR expressions become twisted as Attached to a ceiling fan, two saying song recommendations the flm goes on, as does his I’m a ‘90s kid. I was born in plastic bugs few, larger than life would be taken later. I don’t be- Not one minute into the general demeanor, becoming October of 1999, so I got my (two feet larger than life-sized lieve that man had any intention flm, the foghorn begins to more irritable. Even the way very frst age — zero — in the counterparts, to be exact), cir- of fulflling our request. sound. This blaring tone not he speaks becomes more sav- 90s. I’m still counting it. I lived cling each other above the bar. 90 minutes later than their only follows the main charac- age, as in one memorable scene two sweet, sweet months of my As we were too sober and too scheduled playing time, KOPPS ters throughout the flm, but where he laughs in a way so life in another century, and let shameful to commit the social took the stage. It quickly be- the viewer, too. While this and indescribably disturbing that I me tell you, life before I devel- faux-pas of starting the dance came apparent to us that this the other elements of the sea couldn’t believe my ears. oped a working memory, object foor, my friends and I grabbed was, in fact, not a dance party, slowly drive the flm’s charac- Dafoe plays a seasoned light- permanence, or the ability to one of the two tables along the but a concert. Much like my ters insane, you share in their house keeper who used to be stand was a wild ride. side and waited for something parents when they found out plight, being exposed to those a sailor, but retired due to his Reminiscent for those good to happen. More people to ar- mind-altering events alongside peg-leg. He plays the stereotyp- ol’ days, two friends and I rive, KOPPS to start playing ‘It quickly became them. This shared madness ical sailor perfectly, nailing the shelled out $12.30 each on Sat- (they were scheduled to perform apparent to us that is why “The Lighthouse” is a accent and rowdy mannerisms. urday night to buy tickets for at 9), a fght to break out, any- great flm. He reminisces about his love of The Bug Jar’s “Y2K End of the thing. this was, in fact, not The flm follows two light- the sea many times throughout World Dance Party w/ KOPPS Once the party grew to a rea- a dance party, but a house keepers — Winslow, the flm, and if I didn’t know & DJ CHREATH.” sonable size, we migrated to the played by Robert Pattinson, it was Willem Dafoe, I’d be- At 8:30 p.m., my friends and main dance foor, which leaked concert.’ and Thomas, played by Willem lieve I was watching a true ex- I showed up a fashionable 30 the same shame and painful Dafoe, who fght for sanity as sailor. Because of their strong minutes late to an empty, dimly self-awareness that plagued I got MERTED, I wasn’t mad, the harsh conditions of the is- performances, the personality lit venue. Through the conden- middle school dances. I was just disappointed. land they’re stranded on wears clashes between Pattinson and sation-fogged glass walls, I hoping to throw it back to those Jesus on the aux. on them. Dafoe provide the flm with could see an empty foor flled dances with trashy 2000s bops, KOPPS is the sort of band that It’s directed by Roger Eg- some of its best scenes. I won’t with balloons instead of people, only with less shame and more makes music for drunk people. gers, whose last flm, “The go into too much detail, but the and about six individuals sitting alcohol. As the Xs on my hand Their songs are best listened to Witch,” was similar in its men- on-screen relationship between at the bar, hunched over drinks can attest to, I was disappointed live, in the sort of grit and grime tally draining and disturbing Pattinson and Dafoe is one of and/or cellphones. on both fronts. the Bug Jar had in spades. The qualities. “The Lighthouse” is the most original and entertain- But I wasn’t about to throw DJ Chreath, please don’t quit high energy singer was the shot in black and white, which ing I’ve seen in years. twelve dollars away, so, clutch- your day job. The only redeem- saving grace of the evening. I not only helps to give it an The setting of the flm also ing my necklace I’m pretty sure ing songs played were Santana’s didn’t know a single song, but I old-timey aesthetic, but allows becomes a kind of character in was made in the ‘90s, I led the “Smooth” also didn’t need to, as the lyrics Eggers to experiment with and itself. It builds the myth of the pack into The Bug Jar. and “Semi-Charmed Life” by could be picked up after about give a great deal of focus to sea up to be something terrify- The music venue and bar were Third Eye Blind. All else was 30 seconds. light and shadows. Eggers casts ing and insurmountable, as ele- appropriately grimey, but still irrelevant. All else was forget- They played their pieces, they shadows on the faces of the ments of it drive the characters cleaner than a frat house. May- table. All else was boring. left through the back door, they main characters during scenes to their mental limit, Robert be because unlike the homes of (I would be remiss if I did not came back for their encore: of intense emotional release, Pattinson in particular. He’s mention that, before the party Toxic by Britney Spears. As you distorting and hiding their ex- sprayed constantly with ocean got started, Army of Me by might imagine, my group went pressions, visually represent- water, attacked by sea birds, Björk came on in a moment of hogwild. The crowd was virtu- ing the malformation of their and haunted by visions of mer- clarity.) ally unmoved. mental states over time. Oth- maids and tentacled creatures. I am of the frm belief that a It was at this point we decided erwise, Eggers’ hyper-focused The relentless manner in which good group of friends can save our evening should come to a direction makes every single the sea terrorizes the characters any function, no matter how bad close. The band had left to stand scene exciting, visually stimu- of the movie make it a com- the vibes get. I was fortunate guard by their merchandise sta- lating, and thought-provoking. pletely daunting element, sub- enough to have such a group tion, so the room had lost its Alongside Roger’s directing, lime in its mystery and power. with me, and we unabashedly only energy source. the performances of this flm The culmination of all of busted it down, partying like it All in all, the evening was a also make it compelling. Both these elements makes “The was 1999. Our vibes were infec- slow introduction to the grime Robert Pattinson and Willem Lighthouse” into a truly spe- tious, and we eventually melded and grunge of the Bug Jar. I’ll Dafoe do an incredible job in cial psychological horror flm. with the only other three people be going back to play concert their respective roles. Pattin- Long after fnishing the flm, in the room who seemed to want roulette with bands I’ve never son’s Winslow, a shy, bitter the mere thought of the sea will PHOTO COURTESY OF HAILIE HIGGINS to have a good time. heard of soon. make your stomach churn. The Bathroom Felt Like a save point. young man who is new to being My original group bothered Higgins is a member of a lighthouse keeper, believably Leve is a member of Also, there was no lock or handle on the DJ three separate times, the Class of 2022. the stall door. represents his character’s de- the Class of 2022. ‘Cats’ Convinced Me of the Power of Friendship By COREY MILLER-WILLIAMS context. It must be viewed as singing. Jason Derulo yelling ing cat people were utterly wasted. I like to think that this whole ex- NEWS EDITOR an exercise in free-spirited, un- “milk!” into the camera. Taylor But really, isn’t the best part of perience has brought them closer abashed strangeness. And by that Swift doing whatever her thing is a flm the friends the actors make together, and they’re still in con- Allow me to tell you a tail. metric, the “Cats” movie is very nowadays. Also Dame Judi Dench along the way? No, but this isn’t tact, even to this day. They have Once upon a time I was a nine- good indeed. and Sir Ian McKellen are in this, a flm — it’s an experience. And a group chat where they reassure year-old extra in my town’s com- The plot follows Victoria, who which is very nice but simultane- halfway through my experience of each other that people just aren’t munity theater production of is abandoned in a junkyard by her ously a little upsetting because the “Cats” movie, I realized what it ready for the artistic genius of the “Cats.” I made a mistake in the human owners, only to be adopted they’re too good for it. was that was keeping me invested “Cats” movie. Their names in each choreography and the director, a by a clan of cats calling themselves For an adaptation of a musi- in the movie, even more than my other’s phones are the names of the 60-year-old man with the exact the Jellicles. As it so happens, they cal with a reputation for being nostalgia for the source mate- cats they played. They have plans personality of this cat, screamed in adopt her on the one night of the oddly sexual, the “Cats” movie is rial and my shameful Victoria/Mr. to spend birthdays and major holi- my face for fve straight minutes in year when the Jellicles are to per- adamant that there be a very clear Mistoffolees ship. days together. They have formed front of the entire cast. form before Jellicle leader Old monogamous relationship. The These actors, more than any closer relationships with each oth- It was this moment that taught Deuteronomy, who will determine contradiction between the movie’s actors I’ve ever seen in any other er than you or I will ever form with me true embarrassment. And when who will be permitted to die and desire for traditional story ele- flm, believe so much in what another human being if we don’t I entered the theater to see the ascend to the Heaviside Lair to be ments (such as plot) and the nature they’re doing. Every word they put ourselves out there and break “Cats” movie, I was prepared for it reborn into another Jellicle life. of the source material is made in- sing, every move they dance — some eggs. to be awful, embarrassing enough The acting in this movie is credibly apparent in the way this they believe in every single bit of So why not at least give the ac- to truly earn the ire of that director. greatly underappreciated. Some romance is handled, its outcome it. tors credit for their optimism and And it was. highlights: uber-serious Jellicle VP leading me to the upsetting con- It’s easy to get invested when unabashed strangeness? That is, But even if it’s not good in the Munkustrap’s — played by Rob- clusion that the entire two hours I you’re acting in the MCU or Star after all, what Jellicles do. traditional sense, the “Cats” movie bie Fairchild — ability to clench spent getting invested in the love Wars. It is so hard to believe in Miller-Williams is a mem- cannot be viewed in a traditional his jaw constantly, even while lives of computer-generated sing- “Cats,” but they do it. ber of the class of 2023. PAGE 6 / campustimes.org TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020WW CULTURE BSU Step Show Never Fails to bring Energy, Enthusiasm By OLIVIA ALGER by both the teams and the hosts, immense cheers from the crowd attracts a lot of the local com- wait until I’m good enough to CULTURE EDITOR senior Eugene Nichols III and were Lake Ridge High School’s munity. Waiting in line for the dance like that.” And, honestly, junior Waliyah Johnson. While Royal Dynasty team and the bathroom afterwards, one of the me too. For the past 17 years, UR’s last year’s show lagged at points Wilson Pearls, from Joseph C. little girls that came to watch her Alger is a member of Black Student Union has hosted between acts, this year’s competi- Wilson High School. Their dance sister stepping told me, “I can’t the Class of 2022. a step dance competition at the tion never faltered in enthusiasm. was Tron-themed, the projector beginning of the second semester. Even during intermission, the on the stage lit up with a glitch- And every year, Strong Audito- hosts called young performers to ing computer screen and their rium gets packed for the event the stage for a dance competition. clothes roped in blue string that with a huge, uproarious crowd. The auditorium was flled with glowed in the dark. Elite Em- “People are going to passion and excitement, down to pire’s dance opened with a clip scream at step shows,” the man the little kids that were standing from “Pinocchio” before a swath behind me said to his baby. in the aisle trying to mirror the of performers dressed in bounc- “That’s what they’re for.” step moves they saw onstage. ing dresses with popsicle-stick After attending last Each team was decked puppet-strings atop their heads year’s show, I knew more of what in costumes to match this year’s stepped onstage. to expect from the step competi- theme, “A Step Through Disney.” UR’s own dance teams per- tion held on Saturday afternoon The horns of Malefcent head- formed, too — Indulgence hip than I did last year. The scream- gear were refected on the walls hop team and Xclusive step team, ing, yes, but also the passionate as purple lights fashed onstage. each dressed in Disney-esque cheers, claps, and stomping from There were a number of danc- costumes, and the Pan African both audience members and the ers dressed as Woody, one as Student Association’s Ma’frisha performers onstage. Like last Frozone. The opening act started dance team. While the judges year, it started with a perfor- with a clip from “Mickey Mouse — a board of local community mance to warm up the audience, Clubhouse,” a sound to which the members — made their remarks some anecdotes from the hosts, audience cheered and roared. The about the best teams, a few of the and an introduction to the various winning team from the junior greek multicultural fraternities divisions of the competition — division was Rhythm Nation, a danced onstage and performed junior, featuring dancers from group of girls that stepped to an their roll calls, one of them scat- local elementary/middle schools, audio recording from the Cheetah tering rose petals in their wake. and senior, high school/college Girls movie. “This isn’t ‘That’s The League of Extraordinary teams that included two UR So Raven’ anymore,” one girl Steppers won, for the second year teams. mouthed while slapping her arms in a row. Ultimately, what strikes But what I didn’t expect against her sides. “This is Chee- me about BSU’s step competi- from the show was the sheer tah Girls, remember?” tion is that it seems to be one of magnitude of energy brought Popular favorites that drew the few events on campus that TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020 / ADVERTISEMENT PAGE 7/campustimes.org

PAGE 8 / campustimes.org TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020 OPINIONS EDITORIAL OBSERVER EDITORIAL BOARD Minding The Greeting Gap America’s Crossroads, ing her cheek. So I moved my face closer to do my thing. But Then and Now as I got close to her face, she moved her face towards me. At the Martin Luther ica, [but] nobody heard it, be something you only And I ended up giving her a King Jr. Commemorative nobody cared.” America, care about on Earth Day, or peck on the lips. We both froze Address on Friday, key- Glaude said, was at a cross- when Australia is on fre. up, mortifed, and quickly note speaker Eddie Glaude roads. And hearing about it, It is because of this privi- By ABHISHEK MAKHUN walked away from each other. Jr. asked people to remem- it sounded eerily familiar. lege of distance that we are FEATURES EDITOR That entire evening, we avoid- ber Martin Luther King Last year was the second- ed eye contact. I still haven’t Jr. at his most despairing. hottest ever. We have a de- Different countries have recovered. cade to avoid the worst ef- ‘Like Paulo wildly different forms of greet- From that day, I consciously ‘He was “trying fects of climate change, Freire recog- ing. appreciated the fact that people to change the according to the UN. And nized, a sin In the United States, when from different countries behave yet, to echo Greta Thun- you frst meet someone, hand- differently when they see each consciousness of berg: “Pretty much noth- disfgures the shakes are the norm. When you other. And because of this ac- America, ing has been done.” sinner as much pass by someone you know, a knowledgement, I fortunately [but] nobody The climate crisis is in- as — and maybe nod is acceptable. My observa- did not go around kissing peo- separable from racism. tions tell me that when we see a ple when I frst got to the U.S. heard it, nobody We know that those who even more than friend, we usually nod up. But Not everyone is this lucky. cared.” America, have been most exploited — the sufferer. when we see people older than Before I came here, the U.S. Glaude said, throughout human history America has us, we nod down. Recently, I embassy in Mauritius held a (disproportionately black learned that in Latin countries, pre-departure orientation for was at a and brown people) are sinned, ‘ a frm handshake is considered students about to make the crossroads.’ also the most vulnerable to rude, while in Ireland, seeing move to America. They had the environmental effects able to hold ideological con- someone far in the horizon two Mauritian students, who wrought by that exploitation. victions without acting on might as well be a violation of had already completed their He focused not on King’s There are ways that every- them. But Glaude reminded personal space. frst year in the U.S., come and light, but his darkness. Not one at UR holds some form us that there’s a different In my home country, Mauri- tell us about their experience. the utopia he dreamed of, of privilege that allows them type of injury to which the tius — an island off the coast of One of them said he didn’t but the nightmare he lived. to forget about issues like privileged are not immune. Madagascar — when women know that Americans don’t But he didn’t take a dark Stepping on someone’s meet each other, or when men cheek-kiss. During his orienta- angle just to put a damper on neck not only dehuman- and women meet, they usually tion week, he kissed every sin- everyone’s weekend. In forc- ‘There are ways izes them, but you as well. kiss each other on the cheeks. gle girl he met. At some point, ing us to reckon with King’s that everyone at Like Paulo Freire recog- This is also common in France, his friends had to explain to despair, Glaude showed us nized, a sin disfgures the where the act is called faire la him that that was inappropriate. the path to set things right. UR holds some sinner as much as — and bise. However, I learned the Having been in a similar situa- In the last year of his form of maybe even more than — hard way that this is not a uni- tion before, I could understand life, King was “fve years the sufferer. America has versal norm. his embarrassment and truly sadder,” Glaude told us, a privilege that sinned, and it’s not just the When I was 15, my family felt for the guy ( it was hilari- “persona non grata,” and allows them to victims that have been hurt; and I went on a trip to Mada- ous nonetheless). disillusioned with America. all of America has. And that gascar. It was a business trip What is common here, how- He was abandoned by the forget about is- disfgurement needs to be for my father, and a vacation ever, is for friends to hug each coalition that helped him sues,’ reckoned with and retributed for the rest of us. Now, Mada- other — something that I was throughout the Montgom- for if we hope to ever make it gascar, like Mauritius, is a for- not used to. I still have so ery bus boycott as he tried out of the challenges we face. mer French colony. However, many questions about hugs. to fght poverty, and he was racial equality or climate Like institutionalized they did not inherit the cheek- How many arms should I put harshly criticized for ob- change, because it doesn’t racism, climate change kissing tradition from France. forward? Where does each in- jecting to the Vietnam War. affect their everyday lives. is an issue we can’t af- Nobody told me that. dividual arm go? How close He was “trying to change Depending on where you ford to forget about. One evening during the trip, should we stand to one anoth- the consciousness of Amer- live, climate change might one of my father’s colleagues er? Do chests press? How long came to visit us, along with her should it last? Should I pat on family. When they came in, my the back? This editorial is published with the consent of a majority of the Editorial Board: Wil Aiken (Editor-in-Chief), An Nguyen (Publisher), Hailie Higgins (Opinions Editor), and Efua Agyare-Kumi (Managing Editor). The Editor-in- parents greeted the adults with Maybe I’m overthinking this. Chief and the Editorial Board make themselves available to the UR community’s ideas and concerns. Email la bise — the kiss. I believe my Hugs also terrify me because [email protected]. father already had a prior con- I don’t like being touched. I versation with his colleague admit, this fear of touch can about how Mauritians kiss seem out of place for someone when they meet each other, so born in a place where kissing Campus Times this encounter was not awk- strangers is endorsed. Now that SERVING THE UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER COMMUNITY SINCE 1873 ward for them. I think about it, I hate cheek- While the adults were busy kissing as well. WILSON COMMONS 103A making small talk, I decided to Wouldn’t it be nice to have a UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER, ROCHESTER, NY 14627 greet their daughter, who was universal greeting code? Even OFFICE: (585) 275-5942 / FAX: (585) 273-5303 CAMPUSTIMES.ORG / [email protected] about my age at the time. She dogs have a universal policy: had absolutely no clue about They sniff each other’s butts. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF WIL AIKEN the kissing ritual, and I had no Now, I’m not saying we should MANAGING EDITOR EFUA AGYARE-KUMI clue that she had no clue. start doing that, but we can As I went up to greet her, surely sort something out. NEWS EDITORS JAMES GUNN SPORTS EDITOR ETHAN BUSCH at some point, she turned her Makhun is a member of COREY MILLER-WILLIAMS PRESENTATION EDITORD JAMES GUNN face a bit to her left, which led the Class of 2022 SING CHAN ETHAN BUSCH me to believe she was offer- FEATURES EDITORS EVELYN PINEDA ILLUSTRATIONS EDITOR JANE PRITCHARD ABHISHEK MAKHUN PHOTO EDITORS DANIEL CAJE OPINIONS EDITOR HAILIE HIGGINS HENRY LITSKY CULTURE EDITORS WILL LEVE COPY CHIEF CAROLYN RICHTER OLIVIA ALGER SOCIAL MEDIA EDITORS MELANIE EARLE HUMOR EDITOR JOHN PINTO MATTIE MARTIN-OLENSKI PUBLISHER AN NGUYEN BUSINESS MANAGER CEZ GARCIA Full responsibility for material appearing in this publication rests with the Editor-in-Chief. Opinions expressed in columns, letters, op-eds, or comics are not necessarily the views of the editors or the University of Rochester. Campus Times is printed monthly throughout the academic year, except around and during University holidays. All issues are free. Campus Times is published online at www.campustimes.org, and is updated Monday each week. Campus Times is SA funded. All materials herein are copyright © 2019 by Campus Times. It is our policy to correct all erroneous information as quickly as possible. If you believe you have a correction, please email [email protected]. RITA PEI / ILLUSTRATOR TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020 / OPINIONS campustimes.org / PAGE 9 Impeaching Trump is not About Trump By RACHEL BREINING taken seriously. STAFF WRITER Impeachment means that our leader, the person we istory is, admittedly, should hold in the highest quite boring. regard and to the highest H I’m normally not standards, has been lying one to preach about how to us. It means our leader learning about the past will broke the laws, and broke help us avoid future mis- our trust. So seeing people takes, because the average argue that Trump is “just person will never be in a po- impeached” or that “the re- sition to assassinate an arch- moval process hasn’t started duke. But the long-winded yet” clearly undermines the and seemingly never-ending justice system as a whole. recap of the American politi- Nonchalant responses to cal sphere does have some such a momentous vote send relevance. the message that the average Impeachment is a seldom- American voter is tuned out BRIDGET TOKIWA/ ILLUSTRATOR used mechanism in our leg- from a process that decides islative system. On only the course of history, and three occasions now has a may be much of the general president been impeached population’s only relevant by Congress — two of involvement with the gov- JANE PRITCHARD / ILLUSTRATIONS EDITOR which were in the last 25 ernment. (zero Republicans voted to even though Trump’s aides heads, starting wars, and years. As impeachment is Now that we’re back from impeach Trump). Impeach- have been subpoenaed as blindly worshipping poll simply a formal statement of break, we’re able to witness ment passing without una- witnesses before, there is a leaders for respective parties the charges against the pres- another subheading in a fu- nimity from the Democrats greater chance they will re- is the antithesis of conversa- ident. Nothing has ever been ture textbook — this time in adds validity to the notion spond to a Senate subpoena tion. done to remove a president the Senate. The Democrats that Trump has broken the because of the party afflia- No matter where you land from offce (aside from es- seem to be continuing their law. Political activists and tion. on the political spectrum, sentially threatening Nixon, performative prosecution, in people working in the feld A united party, especially I encourage you to always who resigned to avoid the an attempt to catch the atten- everywhere saw this blow to one willing to rally under hear the other side. Work whole fasco). tion of you, the passively- the President’s legitimacy as an impeached President, is to understand others’ argu- So, in light of the perfor- interested American. Before a sign of our breaking point a dangerous weapon. Party ments and allow for substan- mance Congress put on for the trial, the left pushed to rapidly approaching, as if line has seemed to outweigh tive conversation. Our great- America before our winter amend the rules and evidence we’ve watched the rubber rationality and individuality, est political fear should not break, why are we ques- to an excessive degree. The band of democracy stretch causing the right to resemble be of those who disagree, tioning what impeachment Republicans grew frustrated and stretch, and we can feel a cult following their select- but rather a world in which means? No one should be ex- and pushed to speed through the snapping point coming ed fgurehead. They have be- we are not allowed to. In 20, pecting a removal — that’s this process. Democrats did up. gun to value party ideology 30, 50 years, I want teen- not what impeachment is. not waiver despite losing on The Republican Party has over correctness, and win- agers to be bored learning Nor does removal necessar- every amendment. been unifed in their beliefs ning over justice. Aggres- about this impeachment. Not ily matter. The impeachment For the uninitiated, the and actions. They voted as sive partisanship in America to see it as one of the many of Donald Trump is impor- House vote was 229 to 198 one on amendments and im- will only lead to a reduction escalations of partisan war- tant objectively and histori- for impeaching Trump, peachment. It also speaks in our overall progress. The ring in America. cally, regardless of political with three Democrats cross- volumes that many people bureaucracy is already ex- Breining is a member of alignment, and should be ing party lines to vote “no” in Washington believe that cruciatingly static. Butting the Class of 2023.

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[email protected] PAGE 10/campustimes.org HUMOR / TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020 HUMOR Death and Misery at the Job Fair Ken Jennings Crowned King of ‘Jeopardy!,’ Becomes By JOHN PINTO HUMOR EDITOR Vaguely Famous By MICHA GREENBERG in all four of the matches in The Hajim School of En- SENIOR STAFF gineering has announced the frst-to-three-wins se- plans for a career expo ries, was his usual down-to- where students will be able We all know that when the earth, charming, handsome to interface and interview Fifth Amendment was passed, self. “What can I say? Ken with representatives of some the United States took a great outplayed me,” Brad said. “I of the world’s largest and step forward in the realm of originally was upset that I f- most merciless defense con- rights by prohibiting double nally lost to a human and not tractors. The expo, set to be jeopardy. Then came Merv that godless creation Watson, held on Thursday, Feb. 13, is Griffn, who decided to make and I was unsure what the next called “Proxy Wars and You: double jeopardy not just com- chapter of my life would look New and Exciting Opportu- monplace, but also popular. like. Now I know: petty ven- nities for Misery and Death “Jeopardy!” was born. “I originally was in the Middle East … and The trivia game, known for Beyond!” ADINA GOLDSTEIN / CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR its special phrasing of answers upset that I fnally about the lack of a safety into an industry meant to “We hope our students will as question and sometimes- lost to a human and take this unique opportunity net out there. I always tell maximize the absolute worst witty clues, remains among to get in on the ground foor them, ‘Hey, the government impulses of both capitalism the most-viewed shows on not that godless might not care too much and militarism while also re- of absolutely unmitigated television. Millions of Ameri- creation Watson, and slaughter,” a UR Career about poor peop — I mean, affrming the United States’ cans spend half an hour of their Center representative told less productive members of position as a global tyrant, lives on weeknights trying to I was unsure what society, but they’ll straight- the Campus Times. “Shil- ‘Non-engineering show their family members the next chapter of ling for the most overpow- up shower you in cash if you that they are somewhat smart ered and malevolent colo- become their merchant of students can look instead of, you know, talking my life would look death.’ Kids really respond nialist force in history is a forward to future to them. like.” rewarding career that can to that kind of logic!” Yet for years, the show was last a lifetime.” A poll among potential expos, which will without a true ruler. Was it the geance, basically forever!” Set to run from 11 a.m. to attendees revealed that few include “Rejected sonorously-named Ken Jen- Brad already has plans 2 p.m., the expo will fea- UR students had qualms nings? A computer that prob- for overcoming his post- ture representatives from about joining the military- Transplant: The CS ably cheated using Wikipe- “Jeopardy!” slump. “I remem- Lockheed Martin, Boeing, industrial complex, with Major’s Guide to dia? Your grandparents, who bered that even though Ken and Northrop Grunman with more than one student iden- watched nightly? now has more money than me, tifying Boeing as “the pretty Throwing Homeless We now have a true king. I still have millions, and I’ve “Shilling for the airplane company.” People Out of the On Jan.uary 14, Jennings was decided to spend much of it most overpowered “I thought about the mili- crowned the Greatest of All plastering every billboard in tary a bit when I was in Mission and Off of Time on the popular television Ken’s native Seattle with a pic- and malevolent high school,” said UR se- the Golden Gate show “Jeopardy!” Kennings ture of my face,” he said. colonialist force nior Glynn Braff. “I played defeated longtime rival Brad James Holzhauer, known to a lot of COD, thought the Bridge”’ Rutter and newcomer James true “Jeopardy!”!-heads for his in history is a shooting and stuff was cool. Holzhauer, and is now even extremely specifc bets, big- But then I, like, realized? a University representative occasionally recognized when money wins, and lack of fan rewarding career That other people would be, replied, “No comment.” walking down the street. base, also tried to work him- that can last a like, shooting at me in that Non-engineering students “Greatness is not about self into the conversation. We scenario? And I didn’t like can look forward to future knowing all the answers; it’s a at the Campus Times forgot to lifetime.” that? But still, I fostered an expos, which will include state of mind,” Jennings said. write his comments down. whom students are encour- unstoppable desire to kill.” “Rejected Transplant: The “To become the greatest really From now on, when peo- aged to exchange résumés Braff then shrugged and CS Major’s Guide to Throw- required mastering the mental ple think about the legacy of and blood-stained hand- told CT that designing at- ing Homeless People Out of aspect of the game. Well, that “Jeopardy!”, they will think shakes. tack helicopters seemed like the Mission and Off of the and fguring out how to turn about Ken Jennings almost “I love these job fairs, a “safer, less PTSD-troubled Golden Gate Bridge” and a off Brad’s buzzer. You have as quickly as they think about love their energy,” one rep- alternative.” free half-hour continental to clip the right wires, or else Alex Trebek or grandma yell- resentative told CT. “It’s so When asked about the re- breakfast for all UR Human- he’ll realize nothing’s happen- ing at the TV. wild. Every kid comes up sponsibility of the Univer- ities majors. ing and order a hit on my fam- I’ll take “Nerds” for $800, and is worried about gradu- sity for suffering abroad and Pinto is a member of ily again. We sure do like to Alex. ating, worried about going the morality of funneling en- the Class of 2020. have a lot of fun on set!” Greenberg is a member of out into the world, worried tire generations of students Rutter, who came in third the Class of 2021. Letter to the Editor: In Defense of Coronas By ETHAN BUSCH ico he means real Mexico, not ligent. sick, he’s a big Corona guy and have some solutions. Drink SPORTS EDITOR all those other countries that And everybody is buying he’s defnitely alright. Hand- a Genny, that way you sup- people call Mexico but aren’t. facemasks to protect them- port a local business. Or get a Dear Editor, Like Mauritania. I think that’s selves from the beer now, that ‘Corona isn’t even Bud Light Platinum if you’re I’ve been reading the news in South America? Anyways, just doesn’t make sense. Like that bad for you feeling fancy. If you go to the lately, and everyone seems re- Corona defnitely comes from are there roving bands of Co- beach, then get a mixed drink. ally concerned about Coronas? rona salespeople pouring it either, especially I recommend a Mojito. Mo- I don’t really get it, I mean ‘And when Tim says down people’s throats unex- if you get the light jito. Mooojitooo. It sounds it’s not the best beer in Roch- Mexico he means pectedly? That doesn’t seem kind. And you serve nice when you say it. Just do ester (Genny Cream all the likely, but it could explain why what I do: Sit back with a cold way) but this panic seems to real Mexico, not all everyone is so worried. But it with a lime! Fruit one and pretend that all those be worldwide. I didn’t know those other countries usually if you don’t want beer is good for you, funny-sounding countries with that they sold Coronas world- you just don’t drink it? their funny-sounding prob- wide! that people call Corona isn’t even that bad right? It helps you lems are just places that send Speaking of the greater Mexico but aren’t. for you either, especially if not get scurvy.’ us new and exciting ways to world, why does everyone you get the light kind. And get drunk. keep talking about Coronas Like Mauritania. I you serve it with a lime! some, too. And intelligent. Re- Sincerely, coming from China? It’s def- think that’s in South Fruit is good for you, right? It ally an all around good guy. Chad Bradford nitely a Mexican beer. I think. helps you not get scurvy. So I wish Tony Romo was my Phi Gamma Delta Fraternity They had a lot of them when America?’ it shouldn’t be making people dad. BA in Busy-ness Manige- I was in Mexico, and my bud Mexico, and not Mauritania or sick it should be making them I don’t really understand ment Tim said they were Mexican, China. My Mom says I go to healthy. If it made you sick why everyone is so con- Busch is a member of too. And when Tim says Mex- a New Ivy and am very intel- then Tony Romo would be cerned about Corona, but I do the Class of 2023. campustimes.org / PAGE 11 SPORTS / TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020 Cannon Shows Early Too Many Games Ruins a Season By Micah Greenberg week extension to the schedule. few of them. It is not diffcult to Promise in Basketball CONTRIBUTING WRITER To sports leagues, more convince me to watch one more By SALMAN SYED er. Kelley recalls a very specifc games means more stadium at- football game on a Sunday. Ev- CONTRIBUTING WRITER moment in practice that illustrat- Apparently the Golden State tendees, more concession sales, ery game seems to matter. But in ed Cannon’s shooting ability. In Warriors became the worst team more television viewers, and the MLB, I would not notice any Eric Cannon, a frst-year on the practice, the coaches told players in the NBA this year. I wouldn’t more money. To the NFL, an ad- difference if the MLB cut eight UR Men’s basketball team, is a to partner up and work on three- know — I don’t think I’ve ditional game could be hosted games. I probably wouldn’t promising athlete who gets real point shooting from various po- watched a full basketball game in foreign markets, allowing an even care if they cut the season playing time. sitions on the arc. Cannon made yet this season. increasingly global fan base to in half. No specifc game seems But Cannon’s basketball jour- 15 three-pointers in a row. Last season, I didn’t watch grow. like a “must win” until maybe ney has not been all roses. He has Cannon tries to make a posi- any MLB until the World Series. Meanwhile, the MLB might the fnal two weeks of the sea- found the transition from playing tive impact on his team by giving I also don’t think I’ve watched in high school to a college level be looking to cut back on games. son. challenging. ‘In practice, the any NHL at all this season. What In 2018, MLB Commissioner “It is not diffcult to “The college season is more coaches told players would be the point? Do regular Rob Manfred said he’d be open convince me to watch demanding both physically and season games really matter? to shortening the season from mentally,” he said. “The level of to partner up and Perhaps seasons are too long. 162 down to 158 or 154 regular one more football detail that goes into everything work on three-point If the NBA and NHL playoffs season games. The MLB season game on a Sunday. we do is elevated. The practices shooting from various don’t start for another three has the most games of any ma- can be tougher as well.” months, why would I watch any jor sports league, and reducing Every game seems To cope with the challenges of positions on the arc. regular-season games? In the it could reduce issues relating to to matter. But in the adjusting to college-level basket- NBA, the top two teams in each colder weather in the playoffs. ball, Cannon constantly searches Cannon made MLB, I would not conference are usually the only However, this would also al- for new ways to improve his 15 in a row.’ notice any difference basketball skills. He has worked ones with any chance, and in the most certainly cause a reduction hard on his pull-up jumper abil- his all during games. This allows NHL, any team that makes the in revenue, and thus in salaries if the MLB cut eight ity, and, in this upcoming off- him to make up for mistakes on playoffs has a relatively equal for players. games.” season, he plans to master his the offensive end. Cannon’s non- chance of winning the Stanley Most NFL games sell out. playmaking ability, come off ball stop hustle is key to his success. Cup. Several teams even had an av- The NFL manages to be ex- screens, and make reads to stop His positive aura on the foor and erage attendance over 100 per- tremely proftable with a short the opponents from scoring. even in the locker room is con- “If the NBA and NHL cent this season. On the other season. Because games are Cannon draws strength from tagious. His work ethic speaks playoffs don’t start for hand, some low-performing, weekly and few, it is easy to many people in his life, like his volumes about his ability to im- small-market MLB teams are plan to watch all of them. Be- teammates and family that con- prove his game and score even another three months, subject to local blackouts if too cause there are fewer games in tinue to support his endeavors. more in the upcoming years. why would I watch “My dad has defnitely had the First-year Ben Kelley, Can- few people show up at the sta- the season and playoffs seed- biggest impact on my athletic ca- non’s teammate, describes Can- any regular-season dium, meaning that the game is ing affects postseason success, reer,” Cannon said. “He’s always non as “an excellent and easy- games?” not televised to viewers in the every game matters. For other been in my corner from day one.” going teammate that’s fun to media market where the team leagues, it is unreasonable to Although his dad never played play with and a great shooter.” As the NFL gears up for new plays. watch all of the regular season college basketball himself, he ran Kelley said Cannon excels at labor negotiations with the NFL I like the idea of a schedule games, so I rarely watch any of track at the Division I and profes- putting others at ease. He is al- Players Association, the league reduction in the MLB, and I am them. sional level. He taught Cannon ways cracking jokes, smiling, is asking for an additional reg- also fne with an expansion in Greenberg is a member how to compete at a high level. or asking simple questions to ular-season game each season, the NFL. NFL games happen of the Class of 2021. alleviate his teammates’ stress “My dad has defnitely levels, whether it be checking in possibly coinciding with a two- only weekly, and there are so had the biggest impact on their days or inviting them to grab something to eat. on my athletic career... Even at Friday night’s game He’s always been in my against Case Western Reserve University, where Cannon re- corner from day one.” ceived no playtime, he used cre- ative handshakes with his team- Cannon has also looked up to mates, chatting with players on professional athletes for motiva- the bench, and shouting words of tion and ways to better his game. encouragement throughout the “I emulate my game after game. Chris Paul,” Cannon said “Eric has been such a great ad- Barely 6 feet tall with a pa- dition to our program. His daily nache for hounding basketball habits and approach to practice players, Oklahoma City Thun- have been strong from the mo- der’s point guard Chris Paul has ment he stepped on campus. solidifed his name as a premier Additionally, he spends several defender and scorer. Despite his hours a week outside of practice size, Paul focuses on the defen- in the gym working on his craft,” sive end of the foor, being the said Assistant Men’s Basketball only player in NBA history to Coach Taylor Roth. lead the league in steals per game Cannon’s work ethic and skill in four consecutive seasons. will continue to earn him playing Paul’s emphasis on defense reso- time as he develops into a leader nates with Cannon, and he tries on his team. hard to incorporate elements of Syed is a member of Paul’s game into his own. the Class of 2023. Cannon is also a skilled shoot-

PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS Cannon drives down the court PAGE 12 / campustimes.org TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 2020 SPORTS Swimming and Diving Fall Short on Senior Night

By ETHAN BUSCH and excited chant from the other win came in the 500-yard SPORTS EDITOR whole team. Support and en- freestyle, with a margin barely couragement flowed from the more than a quarter-second. Senior Night for Swimming side of the pool and the gallery Even though his career ended and Diving brought the regular above where friends and fam- on a loss, senior Eric Albuquer- season to a bittersweet ending ily packed the small bleachers. que had only positive memories with two losses to SUNY Gen- First-years had breakout per- of his time on the team. “[One] eseo. The men’s team lost 163– formances as seniors took their thing that drew me to this team 134, while the women’s team last bows. was the atmosphere.” Albu- suffered a more considerable Despite the losses, two divers querque described the team as defeat, 196–104. set new school records. First- committed to both academics “Prior to the meet, the year Sophie Lever broke an and training, and enjoying both. PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS seniors from each team 11-dive record on the 1-meter “If anything it’s stronger now board that had stood for five [four years later] because we’re (fve women and six years (a cumulative score is closer with each other.” men) were honored for awarded from 11 dives). Senior Fellow seniors Eric Sond- their commitment to Stephen Stavchik also broke heim and Erica Hughes posted a school record on the 3-me- two wins each in their final the school, the sport, ter board that had stood since and the team.” 1986. Lever’s effort earned “[One] thing that her only a third place finish, drew me to this team Prior to the meet, the seniors but still qualifies her for a trip was the atmosphere. If from each team (five women to the Zone Championships in PHOTO COURTESY OF UR ATHLETICS and six men) were honored for February. anything it’s stronger their commitment to the school, (Top) Senior Stephen Savchik executes a dive at Swiming and Diving’s Senior Night. Another first-year, Jose Cor- now [four years later] (Bottom) Seniors are celebrated for their time on the team. the sport, and the team. redor Alvarez, took a narrow because we’re closer The meet was marked with victory in the 1,650-yard free- ond in the individual 200-yard baquerque said, “It’s been an contrast. The mechanical voice style race. His lead began at with each other.” freestyle event. Hughes pushed honor and a pleasure to do ev- of the announcer overlaid the eight-tenths of a second in the ahead to strong wins in both the erything I have done with the splashing of swimmers. A sport first lap, and stretched to nearly home meet. The first came as 100 and 200-yard backstroke team and for the team.” dominated by individual races five seconds by the end of the a member of the 200-yard free- events for the women. Busch is a member of began with a massive huddle nearly mile-long event. His style relay team, and the sec- Reflecting on his run, Al- the Class of 2023. Cheating Really Isn’t a Big Deal

By JOHN PINTO gy are conveyed by secret hand is entertainment. It is important and exit velocity just isn’t as tying baseball even tighter with HUMOR EDITOR signs, and the uniforms seem to remember that entertainment exciting as watching massive the grand American utopia my- like something a pre-World War is allowed to be funny. juiced-up men smack 70 home thologized in the wake of that By BEN SHISSLER I day laborer might wear. The Cheating in football, for com- runs a season, as was the norm confict. CONTRIBUTING WRITER game is old-timey and, as a re- parison, is rarely funny. Lives in the steroid-infested late 90s. The sport has never left this sult, often hard to take serious- are at stake when the largest and If cycling through four or fve 1950’s dreamworld. Baseball, In 2019, The Washington Na- ly. Any uproar about cheating fastest men are charging each relief pitchers in a nine-inning ‘The sport has never tionals made baseball history by by stealing signs is reminiscent other at full-speed. Cheat in game isn’t bringing people to winning the World Series. Not football, and someone could de- the ballpark, then maybe more left this 1950’s dream- only did they end a half-century ‘Any uproar about velop CTE or even become par- offense will. Using cameras to world. Baseball, like title drought, but the team also cheating by stealing alyzed for life. Cheat in base- steal signs gives hitters an ad- won all four of its road games, ball, and the city of Los Angeles vantage. An advantage to the the American myth it the frst team to ever do so. signs is reminiscent will complain about not having hitter means more runs scored, supports and is sup- 2019 also marked the frst of a senior citizen still the right number of champion- and ultimately a more exciting World Series in a few years in ship banners in Chavez Ravine, and marketable product. Cheat- ported by, is supposed which the victors claimed their grumpy about Adlai where an entire Mexican com- ing in the late ‘90s made base- to be a symbol crown without a cheating con- Stevenson losing both munity was displaced to build a ball more entertaining, so why troversy. stadium. The stakes just aren’t not embrace it in today’s game? of fairness’ The 2017 Houston Astros and of his elections.’ the same. It is also worth noting that like the American myth it sup- 2018 Boston Red Sox were both of a senior citizen still grumpy Cheating in baseball might much of the hand-wringing over ports and is supported by, is caught this year for having used about Adlai Stevenson losing even prove to be benefcial to cheating in baseball comes from supposed to be a symbol of cameras to steal pitchers’ signs both of his elections. the game. It’s no secret that fairness (despite large-market during their respective champi- It is important to remember baseball has an attendance ‘If cycling through teams absolutely dominating at onship seasons. This gives the that this is a game on TV. It is problem. A game that revolves four or fve relief the professional level) and in- team’s batters an unfair advan- important to remember that this around analytics, pitch counts, clusion (my grandparents can tage at home games, as they are pitchers in a nine- quite vividly remember the frst aware of which type of pitch is inning game isn’t MLB roster to feature a black coming and can prepare accord- player). While there are rou- ingly. The backlash has been bringing people to the tinely feats of athletic grace and harsh, resulting in the fring of ballpark, then maybe beauty that can make the heart three managers (former Mets swell, the sport can just as eas- manager Carlos Beltrán was in- more offense will.’ ily be a refection of all that is volved as an Astros player). The ugly about the American experi- events tarnished the names of the sport’s unique position in ment. two great teams, and left a per- American cultural mythology. A cheating scandal reminds manent dark stain on the current The MLB has been active since everyone that the game is not era of America’s national pas- the start of the 20th century, and above reproach, as nothing is. time. its rise as the frst of the major It undermines a sense of Ameri- That said, all the controversy American sports leagues can can exceptionalism that was al- over this is a bit overblown. be charted alongside the rise of ways phony. Cheating in baseball is ob- America as a global superpow- Pinto is a member of jectively hilarious. The sport is er. Some of its greatest players the Class of 2020. at certain points woefully anti- — Ted Williams, Joe DiMaggio Shissler is a member of quated — instruction and strate- — served during World War II, the Class of 2022. JANE PRITCHARD / ILLUSTRATIONS EDITOR