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Vol. XXV, Issue 14 "Can't Publish, Clowns Will Eat Me" Auust 13,2003

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Reviews of Stuff all over

Ask Dr. Sam Lots of naked -• :: "...:! ;i (.. " i""" rp.1 i: ;·: ;·- ·~I;-i ------In an age when corporations act against SCO's stance on Linux is a multifaceted ects would have a negligible effect on Linux as a the public, when CE'sdefraud and lie to their web of lies, half-truths and omissions, amounting whole; this claim is ridiculous on its face. investors, when companies collude to decimate to a fallacious argument at best. They allege that SCO stated that Linux could not have competition and increase profits, when "creative Linux is an "unauthorized derivative", that "the become feasible for enterprise-level applications accounting" has replaced honesty and integrity, entire direction of Linux development changed without "access to Unix code and development the bar of corporate ethics is at an all-time low. with IBM's entry into the open source community methods" and that Linus Torvalds cannot deter- The recent lawsuit brought by The SCO Group and its concerted efforts to control the community mine whether any SCO code exists in Linux. In a agapnst technology-giant IBM .(see for its own economic benefit", that Linux could convers4ion with MozillaQuest Magazine, SCO's http/Www.sco.com/ibmlawsuit/amendedcoiphin- not have reached its current phase of development Director. of Marketing Communications Blake tjunel6.html) has lowered this bar to new, subter- without access to SCO's code that LinusTorvalds Stowell stated that "Linus Torvalds has stated over ranean levels. Alleging ownership of tens, if not cannot determine whether any SCO code exists in and over that Linux was developed as a derivative hundreds, of pieces of software, SCO (formerly Unix, and that IBM disclosed proprietary technol- of UNIX... Go to www.google.com and type in the known as SCO/Caldera) attempted to wrest the ogy. words Linus derivative UNIX. You'll see that 5,010 constitutional rights of freedom of assembly and Linux, independently developed from hits appear. Choose your favorite URL and read all speech from the American public by suing IBM for scratch by Linus Torvalds (et al.) in 1991, has about it (http://mozillaquest.com/Linux03/ScoSource- breach of contract due, in large part, to IBM's evolved through the contributions of hundreds of 02_StoryOl.html)." The only hit that makes the efforts to foster creativity, international communi- programmers worldwide and is distributed under claim that Linux is a derivative of Unix is a ty, and innovation by supporting and helping to the GNU General Public License (GPL) which TechTV article written by Roger Chang; not even develop so-called "open source" software. requires, among other provisions, that every piece one of the 5,150 websites Google returned quoted SCO claims toown the copyright on Unix, of software released under the GPL be accompa- Torvalds as saying that Linux was developed as a an operating system that competes with nied by its full source code; the full GPL itself can derivative of UNIX, Stowell's claims to the con- Microsoft's Windows, Apple's OS X, Linux and a be viewed at trary. host of other software designed to act as bridges http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/gpl.htmi. Several cor- So what would prompt The SCO Group to between computer hardware and the user's soft- porations released commercial distributions of bring such a lawsuit? SCO's 10-K tax form of 2002 ware applications. They believe that ownership of Linux under the GPL including, for a time, states "We have not been profitable. If our revenue this copyright allows them to bully the technology SCO/Caldera! In other words, they released for continues to decline or we are unable to efficiently industry into paying them billions of dollars. all to see the very thing that they are now claiming further reduce operating expenses, we may not They further claim that their code is proprietary is a confidential, proprietary technology. To quote achieve profitability or generate positive cash (i.e. it cannot be publicly distributed without from the OSI Position Paper, if The SCO Group flow." SCO is, in other words, operating in the red licenses or confidentiality agreements) and that "did not know at the time of the complaint that and needs a cash infusion. If they were to win IBM violated the proprietary nature of SCO's Caldera itself had played a lead role in the very their lawsuit, IBM would provide the necessary property. SCO also alleges that it owns all works development they accuse IBM of having unfairly capital to keep SCO afloat, to the tune of up to $1 derived from Unix, regardless of existing licensing and unlawfully pursued, they are incompetent. If billion. And why would SCO go after Linux? The agreements and contracts. As Eric S. Raymond's they did know, their complaint appears to verge very same 10-K states "solution providers upon (industry expert and Open Source Initiative presi- closely upon perjury." whom we depend for the distribution of our prod- dent) well-documented position paper To make matters worse for SCO, this very ucts could instead create their own Linux solu- (http://www.opensource.org/sco-vs-ibm.html) shows, same code was available to the public via SCO's tions to provide to their customers"; by claiming SCO has omitted truths, sworn affidavits and own website long after SCO initiated this lawsuit! that Linux is a derivative of SCO's intellectual complaints that are riddled with errors and falla- This is just as inane as if I were to put an ad on a property, winning the lawsuit would destroy cies and, in several instances, has outright lied to billboard and then sue everyone who read it. SCO Linux as a viable alternative to SCO's Unix sys- the American public. rang the bell, so to speak, by publishing this code, tems. In other words, SCO needs money and to In reality, SCO owns a body of code orig- dashing all claims of privacy and the proprietary eliminate competition so it is going after the deep- inally written by AT&T's Bell Laboratories in 1969, nature of their technologies; they now expects the est pockets (IBM) and the strongest potential rival under the name "Unix". They do not, contrary to courts to overlook SCO's role as Quasimodo. (Linux). their legal verbiage, own the name "Unix" as that As for SCO's claims about IBM's entry In short, The SCO Group has decided to term is a copyright held by The Open Group since into the Linux market changing the direction of lie, cheat, falsify quotes, revise history and over- 1994. The Open Group, a technical standards that market entirely, the facts speak for them- look its own involvement just so that it can organization, uses the term "Unix" to describe an selves: at the time IBM began developing software increase its profits and eliminate the competition. operating system that has been shown to meet the for Linux, the Open Source Development Lab was Through SCO's ethical lapses, blatant disregard published Unix standard. SCO claims to be a already in existence and was funded by twenty- for the truth, creative legal fiction, revisionist his- major player in the enterprise-level Unix operat- one technology giants including Intel, HP, Dell, tory and hatred of fair play, healthy competition ing systems niche; the reality, according to SCO's IBM - and SCO/Caldera! SCO, in making this and the future of corporate America, SCO's CEO own old tax forms, is that the most optimistic esti- claim, is claiming Intel, HP, and Dell (among oth- Darl C. McBride has just joined the lofty ranks of mate of SCO's market share in this area was a ers) were not large enough players in the comput- Martha Stewart, Enron's Kenneth Lay, Tyco's L. measly 3.1%. er industry that their participation in Linux proj- Dennis Kozlowski and Halliburton's Dick Cheney. You Wanna Know Where You in Stick Your Opinions? (hint: It Rhymes With "Stained-Glasshole") sbpress ic.sunysb.edu

Pane_ -··-_ 2 ·· .. -- ~ nternet Piracy e debate on the siar in of inorma ti.rts steali g By Daniel Hofer Revolutions in society are based around Because of this convenient copyright cir- attempt to take down any new technology that improving and creating technologies in two areas: cumvent, the music industry has avidly spoken tries to circumvent copyright laws. They have the movement of goods and physical items (the out against music file sharing. A major actor, the gone to great lengths to attempt to accomplish wheel, the steam engine), and the movement of RIAA (Recording Industry Association of this, including contacting Internet providers and ideas and information (the telephone, the televi- America) is a conglomerate of the major music universities asking for assistance, sending cease sion). Having the greatest social impact in recent publishers. These worldwide publishers consist of and desist letters, and privately messaging the years is the Internet, transforming the way society Vivendi Universal, Sony, Warner Music, EMI individual user. These actors' would like to see communicates. music, and Bertelsmann. The RIAA contests that copyright infringement come to a total standstill. The Internet has become a multi-media people who download music online are thieves. Only in their ideal world can this happen. tool that converges mediums that were once Richard Parsons, co-chief operating officer of AOL "Underground" trading of music will always thought to only be separate. Print, video and Time Warner spoke out against Napster (a web- exist, as long as there is a cheap effective method audio can be combined in a way that can greatly based group promoting unrestricted music shar- of doing so. In their ideal world, there would have enhance a user's search * for information. ing) in 2000: to be no other crimes occurring; in the real world, However, this new digital media has brought up "The defenders of Napster hide the reali- international lawmakers have other more pressing the old question of copyrights. Is the sharing ty of what they are doing - ripping off artists - issues to deal with. Restrictions on copyrights in through the digital medium simply sharing, or is it behind the fig leaf of third-party neutrality. They such an extreme fashion would involve control of stealing? claim they're merely acting as a matchmaker Orwellian proportions. To fully understand the question, we have among Web music fans who want to exchange dig- On the other side of the spectrum are the to go back to the origin of copyrights, to the time ital music files already in their possession. That's actors who want uncontrolled sharing of copy- of the printing press. According to Richard a little like a hijacker claiming he's doing nothing righted material. This set of actors includes the Stallman: more than act as an intermediary in the transfer of "digitally aware" group of society. These are the "The copyright system developed along property from one owner to another." (Merriden, people who realize how easy it is to trade and with the printing press. In the age of the printing 31) publish works on the Internet. In the music press, it was unfeasible for an ordinary reader to Parsons went on to state the hypocrisy of debate, a creative computer user, Shawn Fanning, copy a book. Copying a book required a printing Napster, "Go to the 'Terms of Use' section at its created a file-sharing program that allowed unre- press, and ordinary readers did not have one. Web site and this is what you'll read, quote. 'this stricted trade of music, called Napster. Napster What's more, copying in this way was absurdly Web site or any portion of this Web site may not be was the first technology to be used in such a pub- expensive unless many copies were made - which reproduced, duplicated, copied, sold, resold, or lic manner, and the first technology to be put means, in effect, that only a publisher could copy otherwise exploited for any commercial purpose under major heat from global publishers and a book economically." (para. 9) that is not expressly permitted by Napster" authors. This set the standard for almost half a mil- (Merriden, 32). Parsons and.others in the RIAA Napster officials such as Milton E. Olin Jr, lennia. As new media became available, publish- noted how this specific actor, Napster, wanted to chief operating officer at Napster said the record- ers expanded to encompass them. It was not hard, prosper by avoiding the copyright on music, but ing industry was only going after Napster because as this was the only feasible way for authors and still use a copyright to protect themselves. it took the control of music distribution out of the creators of art and information to have their work While media publishers such as those hands of the few and into the hands of the many. shown to the public. Stallman uses the printing comprising of the RIAA benefit from copyright David Boies, Napster's lawyer stated copyrights press again as an example: laws; a more essential actor benefits from the laws, existed for the public's benefit: "So when the public traded to publishers the artist (or author). In the debate on music trans- Copyright is therefore an incentive that the freedom to copy books, they were selling ferring on the Internet, high profile musicians we as a society grant so that we may have better something which they could not use. Trading have spoken out as well. In the specific controver- access to more original expression. In the end, the something you cannot use for something useful. sy engulfing Napster, Lars Ulrich from the band copyright laws are for the benefit of the public as and helpful is always a good deal. Therefore, stated copyrights exist for the author's a whole, not the individual copyright owners. The copyright was uncontroversial in the age of the benefit: balance requires that these rights be limited so that printing press precisely because it did not restrict "I don't have a problem with any artist we as a society can share, grow and build upon anything the reading public might commonly do." voluntarily distributing his or her songs through one another's creativity. But the balance is always (para. 10) any means the artist elects -at no cost to the con- at risk in the struggle between copyright absolutes sumer, if that's what the artist wants. But just like and those who think more limited projections are Cyberspace is the first medium that a carpenter who crafts a table gets to decide appropriate. (Merriden, 56) allows the average person to publish to a broad whether to keep it, sell it or give it away, shouldn't The computer using public is another audience. Copyright infringement existed before we have the same options?" (Merriden, 46) actor in this debate of online publishing. Many the Internet, but not in the form it does now. For Ulrich and many other artists are on the online "pirates" use the Internet because they do example, a person utilizing a copy machine, VCR, same side as the RIAA and the music publishers: not like the control the music industry has over or CD burner could mass duplicate a copyrighted music is stealing. Even though books and print them. They claim the price of music is to high, and material, but the instances of that were infrequent. are not "pirated" as music is, Author Harlan the public selection is limited. The Internet allows The Internet allows the average person to mass Ellison has harshly spoken out on Internet copy- a person to sample a wider variety of music for transfer copyrighted material to other people at an right infringement: free. Internet users who share music do not con- extremely cheap rate. Whereas videocassette or Individuals seem to think that they can sider what they do "stealing," as they are not CD copying requires a certain amount of overhead allow the dissemination of writers' work on the physically taking anything. In addition, they say capital, an Internet user can use the tools he Internet without authorization, and without pay- the "losses" claimed by publishers are bogus. If already has to transfer information. ment, under the banner of "fair use" or the idiot the information was not free, they wouldn't have The actors in this debate can be grouped slogan, "information must be free." A writer's taken it to begin with. into two major camps, those for the uncontrolled work is not information: it is our creative proper- While Lars Ulrich of Metallica will claim sharing of copyrighted material, and those against ty, our livelihood and our families' annuity. Why that new artists suffer the most from online music it. Actors who want intellectual property regulat- should any artist, of any kind, continue creating publishing, ut others will contest that. Musical ed are none other than those who have directly new work, eking out an existence in pursuit of a groups that are unable to publish to the public prospered off of the regulation: publishers. While career, following the muse, when little Internet through the "official" ways use the mp3 format cyberspace can carry digital forms of print, audio, thieves, rodents without ethic or understanding, and the Internet as advertisement for their music. and visual media, not all of these older mediums steal and steal and steal, conveniencing them- This act is not illegal, and helps many lesser- are equally threatened. Video and print media are selves and "screw the author?" What we're look- known artists. nowhere near as threatened as audio media is. ing at is the death of the professional writer! The end of Napster signaled a new age in This wasn't always so. Until recent years, audio, (Ellison, para. 4) online publishing. While the RIAA was able to video and print were equally hard to convert to These prominent actors, with exception of shut down Napster, they have yet to stop the digital form. The advent of the MPEG 3 (Moving Ellison, have exorbitant amounts of money and newer generation of file-sharing programs, such Pictures Experts Group) technology (or mp3 for power on their side. The RIAA consists of global as Kazaa. While Kazaa works in a way similar to short) created a way for audio to be compressed to corporations who have the power to lobby to gov- Napster, involving a central location for all users, a size small enough for Internet file transfer, and ernments and hire the most expensive lawyers for other technologies exist which have no centrality, still retain the necessary information that makes it court battles. They are willing to sue any person worthwhile to hear. offering digital music files on the Internet, and Continued onpage 9 Page 3 I I -rl

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Edritorial: Strom Thurmonnd. 5000 Executive E Dustin Herl _ _ ; I B2C__ _ _- 2002 You know, when someone of interest passes away, media outlets tend to take a positive view of a person's life, omit- Mismanaging Editor ting the evil, nasty things they have done in order to focus more on the noble and good. We here at the Stony Book Joe Hughes Press are no exception. With that in mind, here are all the positive accomplishments indebted to former Senator Strom Thurmond, who passed away recently at the age of 100: Associate Editor Michael Prazak Business Manager Jackie Hayes News Editor Joe Filippazzo Features Editor Sam Goldman Photo Editor Mike Fabbri

I koppi edetur Andrew Pemick

the _ - to _ _U JI _Welcome · _ Editorial: * Production Mngr. Adam Schlagman H.otelr CalifornLL Running Man", and all fine and good, and Webmaster "Twins", Aahnuld went we're not saying that Daniel Hofer on Jay Leno's show to Conan the Barbarian announce his candidacy, can't make an excellent Ombudsman and then claimed that he governor. But he should xallaH Ilassny "will go to Sacramento, eed the lessons learned and the] will clean by the last celebrity gov- house." No matter that ernor, Jesse Ventura. A his only political experi-, man who enjoyed a nice ence hes in passing a honeymoon with the Jason Amoroso, Jeff Blanch, Bev Proposition that got people of Minnesota, but Bryan, Tim Connors, Aaron Feingold, Chris Genarri, Rob pushed to the wayside then was exposed as a Gilheany, Bill Gioconda, Rich after the budget deficit, man who was seemingly Drummond, Glenn "Squirrel" Given, Pam Gradowitz, Emily Gustafson, and in being married to a more into getting on Joel hopkins, Adam Kearney, Kennedy. Yet the voters political talk shows and Gregory Knopp, Brian Libfeld, Greg seem to care. refereeing WWE Lubicich, Jamie Mignone, Walter don't Moss, Ceci Norman, Ejima Oyibo, Schwarzenegger is wide- Summerslam than going Scott Perl, Phil Pipitone, Diana Post, ly viewed as the front- through the duties of Derrick Prince, Ana Maria Ramirez, Brian "Scoop" Schneider, Ralph runner, to the point that being governor. Sevush, Chris Sorochin, Amberly George Bush is expected Schwarzenegger can't go Timperio, Doug Williams, Jess film T4 while in Worthington, Jon Vaillancourt, Nina to endorse him, and off and Zakharenko Bustamante broke a cam- office, especially since paign pledge to keep out California s problems are The Stony Brook Press is published fortnight- of the race, largely far from fake: A $40 bil- ly during the academic year and twice dur- because he feels that lion dollar deficit, an ing the summer intersession by The Stony Brook Press, a student run and student fund- Davis is all but terminat- Enron-induced power ed non-profit organization. The opinions ed. problem, a serious smog expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints do not necessarily reflect those of The Stony If you turn on the problem, and a weak Brook Press. Advertising policy does not nec- essarily reflect editorial policy. For more all-news channels, all of economy that has jobs information on advertising and deadlines them seem to be saying leaving the state. call (631)632-6451. Staff meetings are held Wednesdays at 1:00 pm. First copy free. For the same thing: "Well, if Really, though, additional copies contact the Business an experienced politician what does it say about Manager. (Davis) can run the state the current state of The Stony Brook Press into the ground, voters American politics that a Suites 060 & 061 Student Union should be more likely to man can run for office, SUNY at Stony Brook take a chance on a politi- have no prior experience, Stony Brook, NY 11794-3200 cal maverick, on some- present no policy pro- (631) 632-6451 Voice (631) 632-4137 Fax one who isn't a 'conven- posals, sweep the talk e-mail: [email protected] tional politician.'" That's show circuit talking only www.stonybrookpress.org Page 4 Editorial: Welcome to the Hotel California in sweeping generalities, and still experience whatsoever, and who terrific governor, so long as he be the front-runner only on the even changed his party affiliation doesn't view this as a between- basis of his celebrity? Does it mean just so he could run, over men movie gig. But why are we so con- that we are tired of "conventional who had tons of city experience. vinced, as a society, that people politicians"? Or does it mean that Now Mike Bloomberg's approval who have never done politics the ones we are offered with sim- ratings are hovering around 35%. before are so much better than ply cannot get the job done any- We hate him now. people who have? more? City voters elect- Again, we feel ed a man who had no political Schwarzenegger would make a

Letter: Media Loves Each Other Dear Stony Brook Press,

Working next door I can't help but notice all the beautiful women working at your paper. Are you planning a "Women of SB Press" Calendar? How about a "Men of SB Press"? I'm sure the former would sell very well and you can use the profits towards the purchase of your much- needed spider monkey or maybe moving out of this god forsaken, bug ridden flooding hellhole to a nicer part of the campus. Hell, maybe "Women of the Media Wing" is a bet- ter idea... If we work together, maybe we can get enough money for 2 spider monkeys, like a boy spider monkey and a girl spider monkey (this way we can have free spider monkeys later!)

Also, can I have Amberly Jane's phone number? It's for business purposes, honest. Leo B. SBU-TV ndustr As iati By Sam Goldman FACT: Over 60 million people in the So what's the next move for everyone? 100,000 tracks in its first week, and still is the best- share files using programs known as For file-sharers, the modus operandi seems to be selling service around. Even more interesting is "peer to peer" or "p2p". They share music, "come and get us". After a small dip, Kazaa - the that about half the tracks sold are part of full movies, e-books, or anything else one's heart current P2P leader - reports that file sharing has albums. But despite the seemingly good news, desires. That's more people that voted for George increased since the RIAA's announcement. Even there are some drawbacks. Chief among them is W. Bush in the last election. further, P2P companies are getting ready to intro- that the service is only on Apples, which only FACT: Since the introduction of the now- duce new software that claims to protect the comprise 3-5 percent of all computers in people's famous Napster into society, the sales of music anonymity of users. Programs like Blubster, homes. The company plans to have a Windows have dropped by one-third. Earthstation V, and Filetopia (do a Google search, version out by the end of the year, but until then, On June 26, the RIAA announced that lazy!) claim to be able to hide a user's IP address. the iTMS only serves a niche market. they would begin to sue individual users who However, there has been no way to validate those Other industry efforts have had mixed share music that is copyrighted on the Internet. claims. I could explain you the technology, but do results. MusicNet is in trouble, as RealNetworks, This comes on the heels of a court decision against you really care? And then there is Freenet, Ian one of its principal players, has abandoned it in Verizon that forces Internet service providers to Clarke's totally encrypted Internet-like service. favor of the newly acquired Rhapsody. But even give up the names of people who share content on While most agree that it's way too technical for more interesting is the efforts of Roxio. You know the Internet. And they aren't just going after peo- most people, its ability to provide the user with a Roxio as makers of CD burning software, but now ple sharing thousands of files either - the RIAA totally private means to dowhload files may prove they have entered the content business with their has made it clear that ANYONE is in danger of very useful in the future. purchase of the Pressplay software from Universal getting a lawsuit filed against them It has also The other front in the P2P war is being and Sony. But their real trump card lies in the res- been rumored that the user the RIAA was attempt- opened by the Electronic Frontier Foundation. urrection of the greatest name in P2P. Yes, they ing to sue in the Verizon case was sharing about Long giving P2P companies and users legal aid, have bought the Napster name, and are planning 350 files, or about 1.5-2 GB's worth of music, the EFF is opening up an offensive - an advertis- to relaunch it by the end of the year as a legal sub- which is not much nowadays. ing campaign entitled "Let The Music Play". The scription service. It also comes as a marked departure from ad campaign supports other ways to support It can be argued that the future of file the previous strategy employed by the RIAA, artists,like a surcharge on broadband connections: sharing is at a crossroads. Can the record industry which was to sue companies that make file-shar- and blank CD's, or a "tip jar" for artists. get people to use legit services? Will the new pri- ing software. This strategy proved useful in the For the RIAA and its member conglomer- vacy features of new P2P programs make things earlier cases of Napster and Audiogalaxy, two ates, the next step is to figure out what kind of more difficult for the RIAA to find fileshares, or is companies that were destroyed at the hands of legal P2P service is going to attract customers it all hyperbole? How will the RIAA look when RIAA attorneys. But a recent court decision in if/when they are weaned off illegal services. The they sue thousands of people for sharing? Is the favor of P2P companies Streamcast (makers of real hot topic in industry circles is the iTunes current copyright law broken? Will the Napster Morpheus) and Grokster stated that those compa- Music Service, a service that allows people on name alone bring sufficient interest from teenage nies were not liable for darn ages, making suing Apple computers to download music for 99 cents kids who believe the ability to share files is a individual users the RIAA's only litigious option. a track, and whole CD's for $9.99. The service sold birthright, and not a luxury?

- I Jettones jPttonenII · : - : :: I ; :- i I~ - I I I - : By Sam Goldman There as been an open rift in recent years the best of both words. Like an ocean, the album since the came out with has the ability to both soothe (their first single, three years ago. Some fans long for the old, "Minerva") and destroy (the insanely aggressive relentless, nu-metal aggressiveness of Adrenaline "When Girls Telephone Boys"), and they can even and and called White Pony do it in the same song ("Hexagram", rumored to pussy shit; others loved the new, deeper, darker, be their next single). They can break out the mas- Tool-like Deftones. Whichever side of the fence sive riffs ("Battle Axe"), or use absolutely you're on, one thing is clear. In this rock world of no at all (the synthesizer-driven "Lucky crappy nu-metal riffs and teenage pop-punk You"). pussies, the Deftones bring something totally dif- Recently Chino was interviewed in ferent to the table. A mix of ambient sounds by DJ Revolver magazine, where he busted out the trash Frank Delgado, howling vocals by frontman talk, specifically in regards to the Summer , alternatively lilting and heavy Sanitarium tour ("A big problem for me was guitar play from and Chi opening for Limp Bizkit and , two Cheng, and brutally aggressive drumming from bands that wouldn't exist if it weren't for me, , the sound of the Deftones is straight up!"). With this record, the band backs unlike any band on Earth. their words up, as well as their status as one of Their self-titiled fourth album showcases the premier rock bands in the world. Page 6 " · I

· ~ ·- Lefs~·-·. &FTudeI -I r That Book b i itsI Cover By Daniel Hofer The music industry is stagnant. The fans artists'" lead "artist" is none other than Jaysin, James Brown, Supremes and Marvin Gaye. Today blame the R.I.A.A., the R.I.A.A. blames the fans, described as a "singer/songwriter with cross over Television shows are developing and dishing out and the artists have no clue what is going on. But appeal, filled with slammin' beats, sweet melodies artists into flavor of the month pop idols. let's take a step back. Maybe no one is buying and sinful grooves." Where is our musical protag- Becoming manufactured clones rolled out like tin music because music reviews suck. Too often, onist from? Nowhere else than Northern cars on a conveyer belt (sic)." reviewers open the album case, place the CD in California, "known to harbor other great artists With this information, any music enthusi- the player, and listen to the music. It is time to like Kenny Latimore (sic) and MC Hammer." In ast should know better than to actually attempt to contest this procedure, stand up to the standard short, we won't be hearing Jaysin on the radio listen to "L.A.'s Hottest New Artists." Curiosity and review music in a new way. It is time to anytime soon. takes the better of every person, and I am no judge our music by its cover. Jaysin's musical ensemble consists of exception. Needless to say, these people have no The starting point and inspiration for this Karina Leigh and Marc A. Deall, but this doesn't talent whatsoever. I dare you to find their web- revolution in music review is the CD sampler matter. After doing a little research on the inter- page on mp3.com and push their download count from Artist Free Productions, "L.A.'s Hottest New net, I found Artists Free Productions on mp3.com. to above 100. However, it's a risk you may not Artists." The album art calls for a smooth jazz Their music has a total of 97 downloads, a little want to take. compilation only CD101.9 could put out. Weare over the actual readership of the Statesman. A.F.P.'s CD shows us that music can be bombarded with low quality graphics, cheesy We should stop here, but the driving phi- rated by looking at its cover. This practice could color gradients, and fonts that would put a child losophy behind A.F.P. is worth note: "Once, the be the shot in the arm that will save the music with A.D.D. to sleep. music Industry thrived with Record labels like industry. However, nothing can save the musical But it gets better. "LA's hottest new Motown that helped develop legendary artists, mistake that is Artist Free Productions. _Pirates of the Caribbean By Leo Borovskiy Yo-ho-ho, it's a pirates life for me. That's in a set of circumstances that only he can find favor- what I say after seeing "Pirates of the Caribbean: The able. In his stint across the British colony town, he Curse of the Black Pearl". Despite the stigma of comes across two more main characters, Elizabeth being a movie based on a Disney theme-park ride Swann (Keira Knightly), the only daughter of Port and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer (god of blowing Royal's Governor who's too smart for an age when stuff up), it's surprisingly interesting story and it's women weren't fully appreciated, and Will Turner great cast of characters brings back the fun summer (Orlando Bloom), a blacksmith by trade who, much movie that's not an over the top "thrill ride" like "2 like Aladdin or D'Artagnan, is a jewel hidden in the Fast 2 Awful" and "Terminator 3- I'm A Machine." rough. There, as the plot (which well deserves its Directed by Gore Verbinski (The Ring) and Starring runtime) beings to unfold, you also meet the terrible Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom and Capt. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and his crew of Keira Knightly, The Curse of the Black Pearl is just pirates. As always, Rush is brilliant, portraying the plain old enjoyable. aged and haggard conniving and seemingly educat- To be perfectly honest, I've never been on ed pirate. And while Knightly's performance might the ride, so I can't say how much of the movie has have left me wanting, I was quite surprised to see anything to do with it, but the portrayals of a well Orlando Bloom, of "The Lord of the Rings" fame, in cial effects, the sheer feeling of realism I had towards matched set of characters truly made this movie excellent form, coming across as a slightly naive, but the end of this movie left me watching only the shine. First and foremost, the always confident and caring boy, tossed in a set of circumstances even he story, so when the credits rolled, the film felt truly cunning pirate Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) did not expect, but was always prepared for. complete. comes across as both the driving force and the As the story is patiently uncovered and you This movie stands to be a must see for any- source of comic relief in this 2-hour-long, story- get the gist of what's going on, the quality mix of one who just wants to sit back, relax and enjoy a packed adventure. With his charm and a mix of gen- clean action, strong emotions, silly side-characters, really good movie. In fact, "Pirates of the Caribbean" tlemanly values and profiteering spirit, Depp's per- beautiful visuals and some of the nicer visual effects is the most excellent example of what a nice summer formance as the young but experienced pirate is in a of this summer complete the package and make this movie should be. league of its own. He simply brings to the screen a quality film. Gore Verbinski brings the kind of what has got to be the most interesting portrayal of a haunting visuals that made him famous in "The When he's not reviewing movies for the pirate I've ever seen. Ring" and "The Mexican" to this film, and perfectly press, Leo Borovskiy makes his own mark on the Out to get back to the high seas, Sparrow balances stunning and captivating scenes that drag visual medium directing, producing and acting in comes across a quiet British port and gets mixed up you into the movie hands, feet and all. With beauti- many student television shows and films. Review: EE S: Shnotenannv By Ceci Norman According to the Eels' webpage cence. And even more amazing - if that's the word mortality, and broken love. Although I could just (www.eelstheband.com), a Shootenanny is a gath- for it - is the song about a restraining order, where be reading too much into it and the Eels are just ering to listen to music, dance and shoot guns. E sings, "Judge made it clear/I can't be near doing what they do best and kicking ass. This CD has about the same appeal and, if you you/everybody knows that I'm not a violent have the Midwest/South in your blood what more man/Just someone who knows he's in love." This could you want than music, dancing and guns? It follows with an exploration of being a lone wolf, a almost makes me proud. Almost. But then, you look at the closeness of death through a glimpse of listen to it more, and you realize the music isn't an ending relationship, and an excellent comment typical hick music, and the dancing it incites is on the fashion industry. It ends on the note that more from the soul than drunkenness. And the the only person you can truly love and trust is gun shooting is more of shooting off brilliant yourself, and that "you're gonna make it through." words that trigger the soul than mindless shooting Following the band's tradition, this CD at beer cans. With Shootenanny, the Eels take takes the blues and makes it its own. It returns to what's typically American, and make it their own the mellower and lyrically brilliant "Beautiful brilliant vision. Freak", while maintaining the harsher sense of liv- Lyrically, it's phenomenal. E sings about ing that developed on electro-shock blues (after being horny on Saturday mornings, but finding no his sister's suicide, and mother's cancer diagnosis). one to play with in the guise of singing about At first glance it may seem happier; the music can being a little kid wanting to watch cartoons on TV. be somewhat light, and certainly energetic, but In another song he sings about sheer agony, and once it comes down to the lyrics it becomes more wanting to remember days before life lost its inno- of an exploration of loneliness, agony, the sense of An Ode to Grassroots ovements or at Least a Sad Attemrt atOne By Jackie Hayes Sometimes when I get pissed off, I mean them into a chaotic cloud of reds and blacks. When that Ilearned about CONAIE, a coalition of indige- really pissed off my nose flares, my lips purse, and the smoke dissipated the reds and blacks gained nous peoples that had formed to give a voice to the my eyebrows tighten. Images of death and destruc- form, reveling that the chaotic cloud had been two oppressed peoples of Ecuador. Forty-five percent tion flash though my mind so fast that they eventu- buildings and 2,819 people. New York medical of Ecuador is indigenous, yet there is only one ally blur into awhirlpool of reds and blacks. They examiners are still trying to identify the 19,858 body indigenous member in Congress, 80% of the rural become a sea of color so intense that I can barely tell parts from those slain in the attack. population lives in destitute poverty, and Ecuador where things end and begin; I can barely remember It was after the attacks that American flags has the highest rate of deforestation in all of South why I was even mad in the first place. I imagine were displayed on cars, in houses, stores, t-shirts, America. CONAIE decided to do something, to this might have been how some people felt watch- billboards, and bumper stickers. A horrible thing fight for freedom and self-determination, but most ing the Twin Towers fall. That day I stood on a had happened and people were pissed. The talk of importantly for people. In 1990 CONAIE lead an Harlem train platform watching clouds of smoke retaliation grew louder. The Taliban not only ter- uprising that froze the country for a week. They sat blur New York's horizon into a whirlpool of gray. rorized the U.S., but also the Afghan people. In across major roadways near Quito, stopping traffic Businessmen walked by covered in debris; their Afghanistan women were banned from employ- in or out of the capital. They occupied government eyes were churning with emotion. I remember ment and education. They were forced to cover buildings, boycotted markets and cut off the water wondering how things got so bad. I heard people themselves from head to toe and were only allowed supplies to major cities. After a week the govern- around me muttering the names of Bin Laden and to leave the house if escorted by a male relative. ment agreed to respond to indigenous demands. Al Queda, the TV screens flashed "terrorists" in Only 5.6% of women were literate. Something In the March 31, 2003 issue of The Nation, bold letters, and there was talk of retaliation. needed to be done in the name'of freedom and self- Naomi Klein told a similar story of disenfranchised, The members of Al Queda were probably determination, but most importantly for the people. unemployed workers in Argentina, who aligned to also pretty pissed off. In the Al Queda Training The U.S. prepared for military action, plans were form the MTD (Movimiento de Trabajadores Manual, translated by the U.S. Dept. of Justice, thd made, maps were drawn, and soldiers were called Desocupados). As a result of blocking highways opening page addresses the reader stating, "To the to duty. The U.S. began bombing Afghanistan. and bridges the government has given into their sister believer whose clothes the enemy has Unfortunately many military garrisons happened demands for unemployment benefits. Abandoned stripped off. To the sister believer whose hair the to be located near urban areas. During Soviet occu- land was turned into homes, farms, and soup oppressor has shaved. To the sister believer whose pation the Soviet backed government had built gar- kitchens, and 100 closed factories were taken over body has been abused by human dogs. To the sis- risons in highly populated areas to create a human by employees. Klein states, "The great irony is that ter believer..." The manual notes the trends of shield against attacks by rural mujahideen. The these movements are actually waging the real war oppression in third world countries. It details U.S. bombing resulted in about 3,000-3,400 civilian on terrorism...they are developing tactics that exploitation of Muslims worldwide calling upon deaths and left Osama bin Laden alive along with allow some of the most marginal people on earth to followers to rise up against the oppressor and two-thirds of Al Queda leadership remaining at meet their own needs without using terror-by tyrant to fight Jihad, the holy war. Bin Laden and large. blockading roads, squatting in buildings, occupy- other fighters had first emerged as part of an I was in Ecuador a week after the ing land and resisting displacement." I imagine Afghan resistance movement to fight Soviet occu- September 11th attacks. Everyday I walked to that Vespigani, a member of MTD and Luis Macas, pation. The motive had been freedom and self- school over a river that appeared more like sludge President of CONAIE at one point in their lives determination, but most important it had been then water. The water appeared to be still most of were pretty pissed off. I bet emotion swirled like about people. Over time Bin Laden acquired more the time, occasionally it churned in little whirlpools whirlpools blurring everything into a sea of black support, training camps were built, maps were that collided into the shore then dissipated. The and red. Yet when the smoke dissipated, forms drawn, and plans were made. I imagine the suicide nearby town, when it was first constructed, had took shape, revealing people. Members of MTD pilots that flew into the Twin Towers were filled lacked a sewer system therefore dumped all sewage and CONAIE are the true fighters of terrorism, the with emotion. I imagine their eyes churned like directly into the river along with waste from near- true victors. They are grass roots groups who never whirlpools,_____ blurring__ the faces___ and__ __things __ around by factories.___ It was also during my time___ in Ecuador forgot that it was ultimately about the people. -- 'FIRECRACKER-1-~------, On The------Fourth -- -- By Josh Steinberg " we celebrate our inde- most of the set was culled from "Gold" (and none in January), but felt appropriate in the open-air, pic- pendence," sang at his free concert at . from the recent collection of demos, aptly titled nic-like setting. Perhaps the best moment of levity Battery Park on the 4th of July. As the audience "Demolition"), Adams did throw in a couple rockers came after Adams had been coaxed back for a second cheered in response, Adams, former Southerner and from his solo debut "Heartbreaker," including what encore; he began introducing "a solo song about leader of the alt-country band turned could very well be his own motto, "To Be Young (is myself," and as his band began to walk offstage, solo act, slyly added that this inde- to be sad, is to be high)." Adams, surprisingly, Adams turned to say, "Where are you going? I was pendence was "from Spain." And then he elaborat- ignored his acoustic songs, which could have helped just making that up, I don't have a solo song!" But it ed: "But we'll never be independent from France to balance what was otherwise a very one-sided was too late, the Pinkhearts had departed. As he because they have great cheese; America is nothing setlist. found himself alone, improvising that "this song is without cheese." Adams' "Gold" material shined the bright- about me," Adams grinned and quipped "I think this At times compared to the likes of Bob Dylan est, with acoustic numbers like "New York, New is my favorite thing that I've never written." and Van Morrison, Adams at least has one thing in York" getting plugged in, and ballads like "When , a New York City native former- common with those two greats: you never know The Stars Go Blue" and the set-closing "Rescue ly front man of punk band D-Generation, opened the what you're going to get when you buy a ticket. Blues" getting shoved into electric territory. The show with a selection of tunes from his debut solo Adams' albums consistently showcase his gifts as a Pinkhearts are an excellent bar band, but subtlety effort, "The Fine Art Of Self Destruction." Though songwriter and a singer, but there are no such guar- isn't exactly their thing - which is unfortunate, as- Malin, with a four-piece band of his own, showed antees for his live shows. For every great perform- Adams' best material gracefully balances the subtle exciting potential to become The Next Big Thing, ance Adams' has given since the release of his break- with the extreme. Still, Adams obviously enjoyed there was little doubt that he has his heart (and feet) through album "Gold," he's given at least as many their company, leaving most of the guitar work to the firmly planted in his hometown, as demonstrated by mediocre performances tarnished by sloppiness and competent (though not particularly impressive) Brad such bittersweetly introspective songs like "Riding self indulgence. It's the kind of act that would make Rice. On A Subway," "Queen Of The Underworld," and anyone give up on an artist, were they not as brilliant Perhaps the best thing about Adams' per- "Brooklyn." Proving himself equally adept at cover- as Adams has shown he can be. formance was his playfulness, a welcome departure ing others, Malin threw in 's Backed by his four piece band, the from his usual somber attitude. In addition to impro- "Hungry Heart," and the Nick Lowe/Elvis Costello Pinkhearts, Adams managed to be self deprecating vising the above mentioned song about America and tune, "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love & without being too indulgent. For his 90 minute set, cheese, Adams also delivered a lengthy monologue Understanding?" At the end of his own set, Ryan Adams just rocked from one song to the next, stop- mid-set dedicating his performance to Water (whom Adams dragged Malin back for an impromptu cover ping only several times to address the audience. he still loves even if it does cheat on him with the of the Keith Richards/Rolling Stones tune "Happy." Adams spoke only once during the first half of the dishes and soap) and Air (who forgives him for fill- If Malin has indeed made self-destructing into an art show, jokingly screaming "Thank you, goodnight!" ing his lungs with marijuana smoke). Such light- form, let's hope he continues to do so for a long time after the first song ("Firecracker"), poking fun at his heartedness might not work at Madison Square to come. own reputation for cutting shows short. Though Garden (where Adams supported the Rolling Stones Page 8 n ternet Pirac: Te deate on the sar-

in f . nformation vs. steal n Continued from page 03 because it did not restrict anything the reading not answered, actors are and are therefore virtually impossible to stop. trying in their own ways This has forced the RIAA to fight individual users public might commonly do... Once copying is a to bring stability to a changing area of society. as specified earlier. However, the computer pub- useful and practical activity for ordinary people, lic's response to this is to continue file sharing, they are no longer so willing to give up the free- Works to be credited: under the assumption that there are more people dom to do it. They want to keep this freedom and doing it than not, and it will be impossible to catch exercise it instead of trading it away. The copy- Ellison, Harlan; everyone. Many times, there is power in sheer right bargain that we have is no longer a good deal http:/ /harlanellison.com/kick/.kickrls.htm; number, something money cannot change. for the public, and it is time to revise it - time for KICK Internet Piracy; 2001 Richard Stallman addresses the philoso- the law to recognize the public benefit that comes phy behind copyrights and how the conventional from making and sharing copies. (para. 9, 11)_ Merriden, Trevor; Irresistible Forces: The Business view may not apply to the new digital medium. Stallman calls for a change in the way Legacy of Napster and the Growth of the He states: copyright laws are looked at. The media giant Underground Internet; Capstone; 2001 We do not decide whether to build a high- Bertelsmann, recognized this when Napster was way in New York City by analogy with a previous the heated debate. They came to Napster and Stallman, Richard; Symposium: Innovation and decision about a proposed highway in Iowa... If together offered something new in the digital the Information Environment: Reevaluating we made highway decisions by analogy to previ- medium- an mp3 subscription service. This idea is Copyright: The Public Must Prevail; Oregon Law ous highway decisions, we would build either continuing today. In the past few months, Apple Review; 1996 every proposed highway or none at all. Instead, Computer opened their "iTunes Music Store," we judge each proposed highway based on the offering songs for a dollar each, and digital albums Borland, John; http://msn-cnet.com.com/2009- pros and cons... In copyright issues, too, we must cheaper than "hard copies." It is perfectly legal 1027_3-1009541.html; C-NET, 2003 weigh the costs and benefits for today's situation and does not circumvent any copyright laws, as and today's media, not as they applied to other many of the giant record labels, such as Sony and Perry, Tekla S; The Copyright Wars; IEEE media in the past. (para. 7) EMI have published their music through this serv- Spectrum; 2003 Stallman goes on to explain how the idea ice. behind the copyright benefited the public, and While the music industry is not the only Pogue; David; Some Warez Over the Rainbow; how it is supposed to benefit it today, not hinder it: industry altered by the new technology of the Macworld Magazine; 1997 So when the public traded to publishers Internet, it is the most heavilv fected. The the freedom to copy books [during the time of the Internet has brought around di gll file sharing Rose, Mark; Authors and Others: The Invention of printing press], they were selling something which and the mp3 music format. This has pushed the Copyright; Harvard; 1993 they could not use. Trading something you cannot conventional views of copyrights and publishing use for something useful and helpful is always a into a modem debate. It questions an idea that has Willis, Clyde E; Student's Guide to Landmark good deal. Therefore, copyright was uncontrover- defined our society for hundreds of years. What is Congressional Laws on the First Amendment; sial in the age of the printing press precisely stealing, and what is sharing? What benefits soci- Greenwood Press; 2002 ety, and what hurts it? Why these questions are

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By Sam Goldman \ I 0: Dear Dr. Sam, stinky job working for one of the vadge lards on robots ho will cook our cysts and clean our electro- What is the proper etiquette for riding on campus. ejaculators. In fact, some day, machines will do the school bus? Here are some tips on getting a campus job: everything for us, and we'll spend every day just -Aaron in Amman 1) Try not to smell like Deng Lee's or Dan Hofer's milking and doing it-ing. mom. I hope that helps. Dear Aaron, 2) Have good posture. Pretend a string is tied to the Here are some pointers for you: top of your labial wart and keep your chair straight. Dear Dr. Sam, 1) Every morning, your bus runs a swanky route, so 3) Be polite. Whenever an employer asks you any- Where should I go for summer vacation? you must be sure that you arrive at your local follic- thing, always say, "Shit Balls!" -Lazy in Langmuir ular cycle early. 4) Don't wear blue jeans that are more than 70432 bil- 2) While waiting, do not boink in the middle of he lion years old, and don't wear anything that has uri- Dear Lazy, street. You might get run over by a fucking fuck. nal cake stains on it. Well, let me tell you about mine. 3) When you see the bus, wave your fuckhole. 5) Work hard. Remember, the captains of industry, Last summer, my father and mother took 4) Before boarding, make sure you have all of your like Ron Jeremy and Greg Lubicich, all started at the me and my older fartcrunch on a trip to California, cunty books and your lunch used condoms. bottom and became rich by flatulating night and day. which is a very aborted baby juggling state with very 5) When you board the bus, do not push or jostle any sloppy smited weather. Northern California has of the smaller used glow in the dark condom wrap- Dear Dr. Sam, many vineyards where they raise grapes to make pers. Go to the nearest empty seat and horizontal I have a report due for class about the vaginal strain. Many old hot dogs o to Southern mambo. growth of technology in our society. You wanna California to retire and raise walking choads or grow 6) Do not talk to the corporate whore while the bus hook me up with any pointers? stewed afterbirth. There are big factories in is in motion. -Dumb in Dreiser California like Placentameatloaf that employ thou- 7) Do not throw various anal lubricants at the other sands of skilled Holocaust victims to make 250-seat students. Dear Dumb, circumcised women for major airlines. Californians 8) Instead of wasting time by goesmywaying, use the Can you imagine life without a vibrator? are politically malnourished yet fuckable. And they trip to study your crikeys. Well, just 55 years ago, most Americans lived a very are generally very decrepit but semena bsorbing Follow these rules and you will have a spicy ride and gay life. But then, with the introduction of the 7-11 people who like to squatpop in the sun and swim in arrive Fabolously at your intense school. Anal Plug and the fucksall, daily life changed niche. liquid steak. And when you say goodbye to Some niches think that living in Jeff Javidfar's pim- California natives, they always reply, "Have a nice Dear Dr. Sam, ply back has become too complicated. But just think glowiin-the dark clitoral collecting cheese man drop- What tips can you give me on finding a about what the blue future will bring. Instead of pings!" campus job? oinking our carson thefreeway, we'll be able to to fly -Broke in Benedict in small squirrel cunts. If you are very lucky, ybu Dr. Sam Goldman has a PhD in might own a supersonic louse. And you'll probably Masturbating and Eating Chocolatey Snacks from Dear Broke, own at leaston or twodigitalmeecand a few super-. Stony Brook University. He thanks the dedicated If you are over 69 yeafs old, you can get a. aoutomated photon Jesi. Of course, we'llall have staff of Kid Libs Mad Libs for their invaluable help. Page 9 Review00 Mie Ru le & AmericaGun By Leonid Borovskiy Of all the films at the Stony Brook Film killed her. plots, counterplots and affairs in with Festival, this year's Audience Choice Award win- The beautiful portrait of the search and death, murder, betrayal, cover-ups, pot smoking, ners,American Gun and 100 Mile Rule, could not the lives the gun affected show the caliber of both cocaine snorting and grapefruit beatings that nor- have been any more different. the performances and the writing in a movie that mally go hand in hand with any quality movie. American Gun, an innovative film written touches the audience and asks questions that some Between the odd and seamlessly pointless betray- and directed by talented filmmaker Alan Jacobs may not be ready to consider. A must see, this als and acts of violence that plague this movie like will surely be remembered as legendary actor movie is slated for only a limited release. But boils on ancient Egyptians, completely inappropri- James Coburn's last motion picture and as an when it gets to a screen near you, take some time ate humor is injected into the plot to wake the important commentary on guns and dealing with to see it, it's worth it. viewer from a daze of disbelief and misunder- personal tragedy. On the other hand, 100 Mile 100 Mile Rule, on the contrary is a sorry standing. Rule was more like a disaster along the propor- excuse for the waste of acting talent brought to the Oddly enough, 100 Mile Rule, over many tions of Gigli, only no one seems to be able to tell project by Michael McKean, Jake Weber and Maria well-madend tasteful films, has been picked up that it is, especially not the film festival's audi- Bello, the stars of this ingQ e thing. Penned by by HBO and will probably soon make its way to a ence. actor Drew Pillsbury and directed by actor Brent TV screen near you. When it does, make a point of In American Gun, Jacobs tells the story of Huff, this 100 minute feature says "stay in front of being busy, even a second run-through of your Martin Tllman (James Coburn), a WWII veteran the camera boys" more than anything else. laundry is time spent better then watching this dealing with the untimely death of his daughter Starting out as a business trip to a sur- "movie". Penny (Virginia Madsen) and searching for prisingly long seminar for 3 businessmen from answers that come with the history of the gun that Detroit, the movie turns into a winding road of

Bsitter ies By Christen Hayes I heard his voice again this morning. It sounded looked like shit. It was during that time that I met think about me. By that point I really didn't know muffled and low, yet excited knowing my voice Ed. Truthfully, I was not looking for much, per- what to do but I didn't give Ed any indication that was on the other line. My voice was not so excited, haps just something to help me for about Matt. Ed I wanted to let him go. So Ed I decided could say. although my heart was speaking otherwise. We did that for the mostpart, but I liked Ed. I liked Now what to do with the rest of my complicated talked like old friends catching up, dodging the being around him because he wasn't a part of any- life?! real subject of importance. He told me of mail that thing that reminded me of the past. He was new With Ed in my life now you'd think it I had received at my old apartment and how he and exciting. The problem was that even with Ed would be easier to say goodbye to Matt, but of was working all the time. I told him of how my in my life I still could not rid my body of the crav- course it is not. I didn't decide to keep Ed in my parents were in town and driving me crazy, and ing I got to hear Matt's voice at the end of the night. life to fill some "Matt void" that I had, having Ed that I love my job and only wished I could work The cravings were the worst when any type of in my life made me happy but did not erase how I more. We ended the conversation waiting for one liquor was put in my body, which was usually a felt about Matt. It wasn't far into the relationship of us to say more, but nothing came, so nothing lot, every night of the week after the break up. I with Ed did he start to ask questions to ask ques- more was said but goodbye. did well for a while. I didn't call Matt for long tions and worry about my connection, or commit- The subject of importance was all the late periods of time, and then things with Ed started to ment, to my past. In a drunken state I even called night phone calls and laughs that we have had go down hill. Ed was hurt badly is his last rela- Matt from Ed's phone. One would think that Ed since Ihad left Syracuse. The subject of importance tionship and had been taking out his anger on had every reason to leave me now. But he did not, was the tears of pain from missing each other after every girl since. I feel into that category, so I ended although I am not fully convinced that he didn't each conversation ended. The subject of impor- things with him, or left them hanging. The main want to leave me. tance was how he confessed he would do anything, reason for ending things with Ed wasn't only Ed is so good to me and so good for me. "I change anything, to have me back in his life. I because he was a jerk; I did it because I missed guess I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop." wanted to go back so bad. I missed every second Matt too. So Matt and I tried again. The week that Little did I know that my constant dwelling on a of him, every single one. I even missed the bad we spent back together was amazing. It was all past that I can not change will push Ed away and times. I loved him, or still do love him for every- back, everything that was good about us. Not too that will be the other shoe dropping. If I lose Ed it thing that he was or is, good and bad, but some- soon later did the bad emerge. The past was clear- will not be because of anything he did, it will pure- thing tore us apart. That something wasn't a small ly not forgotten, which only meant that it began to ly be because I couldn't let the past go. thing, it was big. I didn't, or we didn't realize how resurface. The past that tore us apart tore us apart I have to decide. If I keep Matt in my life, much bur relationship meant to each other until it again. I will lose a wonderful person whom I've com- was too late. All the damage was done. We had Ed then reappeared. He surprised me at pletely fallen for. Matt has offered to change every- done everything possible to hurt each other, now work and told me he wanted to talk. I finished thing to have me back in his life, but what he does- the only task left was how to say goodbye, a task work somewhat late, and accompanied him to a n't realize is that there is no way to change what that I am finding to be the hardest. quiet bar that allowed us to talk. He told me that has happened. We will not forget and that will for- When we broke up we tried everything he wanted to stop pushing girls away. He told me ever be the death of us. It is just time to do what I not to talk and we did a pretty good job at this, also how much he cared about me and that the have had to do for a long time, say goodbye. *i· :-··- I-:

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