Ahoy Shipmate RNA Torbay Newsletter

Volume 2 Issue 2 March 2013

In this issue Editorial Editorial...... 1 By Shipmate Norrie Millen Chairman’s Corner ...... 2 What a fantastic turn out and all shipmates Social Scene ...... 2 dressed in No.1’s to welcome aboard our new Shovewood Part I ...... 3-4 Patron – Captain Wreford-Brown DSO RN (Retd) Laughter Best Medicine ...... 4 aboard. A great evening thoroughly enjoyed by all Sex Education in 1960’s ...... 5 and our new Patron even managed to win a bottle At 85 years of age ...... 5 of wine. He was totalled baffled by our “Play your ... ………6-7 cards right” though. Screw Smith...... 7 Microsoft have a “Spell Checker” and a “Grammar Checker”, HMS Ganges VC Winner ...... 8 sadly they don’t have an “Idiot Checker” which I could do with. Meet our new Patron...... 8 For those of you that have been involved with writing in any Cooks to the Galley ...... 9 form, you will know and appreciate it is literally impossible to HMS Bounty Part 1 ...... 10 proof one’s own work. There were a few glaring errors in the last edition which was discretely pointed out to me. I future I will In addition to Editor & Webmaster, I have taken on the responsibility of have another pair of eyes proof read my work. One of them was Branch Welfare Officer and all the header of inner pages which I had inadvertently typed Issue information received will be kept 2 when in fact it was Issue 1. strictly confidential, apart from The winter blues certainly took its toll in our abode. I went down sharing with other Shipmate’s any medical problems you or a family with a pretty bad viral chest infection in December and just about member may be experiencing. got over it in time for my trip to Scotland. January saw my wife taking a lot of dizzy spells as a very severe viral chest infection manifested. She was so poorly, she was bed bound and I had to have doctors make house calls as she was too ill to visit surgery. Severe dehydration and low blood saw the district nurse taking all sorts of blood tests, resulting in later that day a phone call from the local GP informing us that an ambulance was on the way to take us to Torbay hospital as Angela’s kidneys were on point of failing! Naturally all the running backwards and forward and doing all the normal house type things saw me run down again and I once again got the chest infection. I had to take so many pills; steroids and antibiotics, in addition to all the blood pressure, DVT, Cholesterol, and Hiatus Hernia pills that I felt I was rattling! Good job I am an ex matelot and can dhobi, iron, sew, clean and cook and can generally look after myself and run the household chores whilst my wife was in the hospital. Volume 2 Issue 2 March 2013

Chairman’s Corner was commented by many as to how By Shipmate John Soanes smart and well-drilled he appeared Hi! Shipmates, in November 2012 on Remembrance Sunday. At the last Branch meeting we discussed As we do not normally hold a a few ideas about meeting in December, it has been how the Branch could suggested that we arrange to hold a raise a few pounds to enhance our social evening here in the RAFA slightly diminishing funds. I think Club. Ideas are currently being the idea from S/M Norrie Millen developed. whereby members could bring to John Soanes future meetings any no longer required items such as books, bric a brac memorabilia etc. which could Social Scene be stored in one of our large boxes ]]]]]]] and offered for sale to members at Royal Marines Fish & Chip Evening bargain prices. 'One man's trash is at the Kingsteignton RBL another man's treasure'! Wednesday 24th April 2013. S/M Mark (Harry) Harris has Postponed also very kindly offered to arrange ]]]]]]] to attend one of Torbay's Boot Sales Torbay Quiz night -(t.b.c.) in the summer, date and venue yet 25th April 2013. to be decided. In the meantime, ]]]]]]] perhaps we can all start searching lofts, garages and the like for items Armed Day - Torbay to be included, think of it as a spring 22nd June 2013 clear-out which could help your ]]]]]]] Branch! Branch Car Boot Sale Harry has offered the use of his Day and Venue TBD van to collect items nearer the ]]]]]]] event; however it will help considerably, if members would give Open Day at B.R.N.C, this future sale some thought and let date unknown in July 2013. Harry know if they could assist him ]]]]]]] in any way. Torbay Quiz Night (t.b.c.) Our thanks to S/M Norrie Millen 29th August 2013. for volunteering to take over the ]]]]]]] role of Branch Welfare officer, hopefully his help will not be needed Battle of Trafalgar. too often, but it is always satisfying Saturday to know that someone is there if October 19th 2013 required. ]]]]]]] Our thanks again, to S/M Harry Festive Lunch at the Redcliffe Hotel Harris for agreeing to parade our Sunday 26th January 2014. Branch Standard on occasions when Mike Neville is unable to attend. It Ahoy Shipmate Torbay Page - 2 Volume 2 Issue 2 March 2013

From "Roll on My Twelve" by David Bolster Adapted by Norrie Millen

a model of order and cleanliness. The Part I shelves and pigeonholes were in apple pie order, all the tallies were polished. The fair Once upon a copy of the stores list, laboriously written time the 5,700 out by the absent Nobby, lay open in the ton cruiser center of the desk, besides which, in his Mombresia, Number Ones, stood Nobby's relief, with the having moisture breaking out on the palms of his commissioned hands at Devonport To him there appeared, in order, the and 'worked following: one boy bugler; the Master-at- up,' was sent Arms bearing a lantern; the Rear-Admiral; out to join the the Captain; the Commander; the First 33rd Cruiser Lieutenant; the Supply Officer; Commander Squadron at (E); the Gunnery Officer; the Torpedo Officer; the Flag Lieutenant; the Surgeon Malta. The Rear Admiral was Lieutenant Commander; two nervous delighted with his new ship. She was the Midshipmen - the Captain's and very latest thing out of a British Commander's doggies; one Regulating Petty shipyard this was at the peace-time rate Officer; one Marine messenger and a Signal of building and had all the latest rating with a pad and pencil. gadgets. Accordingly he lost little time The Admiral was affable, looked briskly in coming over to inspect her. around the store, blinked, said it was very Now as ill-luck would have it, the very well kept, asked the rigid storekeeper how day before the inspection, one of the fine old long he'd been in the Navy, where he'd crusted Jack Dusty’s was "took bad," so served before, and whether he was married. seriously that he had to be sent ashore. He nodded at the answers, rubbed his Before they swung him over the side on his nose with one finger and took a look at the stretcher, he had a parting word with his stores list spread open on the desk. temporary successor, a mere two "Ah," he said, "I see you've got a badge Jack Dusty, with only ten shovewood." The Captain had been years in. The anguish on his looking I over the' Admiral's face was not wholly due to shoulder- this gave him the gastric troubles. presence of mind to answer at “Now see' ere," he Yessir, we have." threatened, "For Chrissake “Splendid," nodded the don't make a muck-up. If Admiral, "I'd like to see it." you lets me down, I'll fill you Here all eyes turned to the in good an' propper, when I storekeeper, who was an oak struck gets back, see?" by lightning, erect as ever, but with his “Ah stow it, Knobby," said his heart blasted. Winger, "we got everything on the top line His lips moved soundlessly and the chill ain't we? Can't nothink go wrong, so quit in his nerves paralyzed time in flight Come natterin' an' go an 'ave a week wiv the on my man," snapped the Admiral, "have luscious nurses." you got the shovewood or not?" Nobby still wasn't happy: he went over But the horror stayed on with our the side muttering about "careless, ignorant storekeeper and he uttered