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® Sleep Better INSIDE JOURNAL p.4 Cell Workout YOUR SOURCE OF INSPIRATION AND INFORMATION RECEPTION & ORIENTATION p.4 A Desperate Prisoner Finds Hope Behind Bars by E.G. Andrews Desperate for an end In a Nebraska prison, lthough Ocean Ocean came face to face with Lehauli’s towering the pain of his past and the stature and strong consequences of letting his build might seem emotions control him. “I was angry, punching walls, banging intimidating, my head,” he recalls. Aone look at his warm smile “I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t will put you right at ease. eat, I couldn’t function. I was But he hasn’t always been so messed up.” He didn’t know approachable. how to calm the storm in his soul, and it eventually led him to solitary confinement. “I was angry, He started looking for a sign—anything that might punching finally make his pain go walls, banging away. Sitting in solitary, Ocean my head. I came up with a plan to end it all—he thought taking his own couldn’t sleep, life would be the only way to I couldn’t by P&W Photography Photo finally escape from all his pain. But while on the yard on the After years of anger, crime, and pain, Ocean began plotting his own death, eat, I couldn’t until an injured caterpillar changed everything. day of his “suicide mission,” something caught his eye—a function.” small green caterpillar that free herself from alcoholism, Ocean would say to his foster of control, Ocean soon had appeared to be injured. Its a problem with drugs and pain reminded Ocean of his Growing up in a broken gave up him and his sister mother. alcohol—and with people own, even though Ocean’s family around Valentine, to the foster care system. Over time, his rebellious The transition from the spirit only grew worse. He often besides just his foster parents. pain was emotional. Nebraska, Ocean often slept On Halloween 2012, he was For a moment, Ocean in alleyways and behind dollar independence of the streets fought with his foster parents, to a foster house full of rules and one of those fights landed arrested for assault on his wondered if God had put the stores. His mother, who girlfriend and young son. He caterpillar there for him to Ocean says was unable to was difficult for him. him in juvenile hall. “You ain’t my mom,” Angry, aggressive, and out went to prison in 2013. Continued on page 2 VIEWPOINTS: A Conversation About Respect with Mark Freer for everyone. It’s really a two- other world inside this and Chad Prince way road between inmates building, but they don’t get and staff. to leave all their problems nside Journal asked a When there was an issue behind. Many of them will retired security director between an inmate and an come in grumpy, tired, or and a former prisoner authority figure, it was usually upset.” Don’t judge people about the importance due to lack of communication. until you have time to get to of respect behind bars. When I worked with know what they are like. Here’s what they said. officers, I always told them, When there is a conflict, I it’s good for everyone to take “You’ve got to put yourself Mark, Security Director in the prisoner’s place and a step back and settle down, I spent 34 years in the understand the stress they then work out the problem, correctional system at five are under.” instead of getting distracted by anger. It’s when the

different prisons. In any And I told inmates, Fellowship by Prison Photo prison, respect is what makes “Remember that my officers emotion starts rising, and the the environment tolerable are coming into this whole officer invokes their authority Many people come into can break the cycle and work and the inmate rebels against prison already having issues together as people. it, that things start to go with authority. Some of those The best way to earn haywire. If you’re having a issues are well-deserved; the respect of officers is hard time managing the issue, there are some problems to understand what they Inside Journal is a quarterly newspaper for prisoners the officer can say, “Let’s in our society with people are trying to accomplish that’s delivered to facilities across the country. Available talk to my supervisor,” or the abusing authority. That turns by enforcing policies and in Men’s, Women’s, and Spanish editions, Inside Journal inmate can say, “Can we have people very negative, very procedures. Sometimes the contains inspiring articles, tips, news, games, and even a conversation together with fast, at a very young age. But rules may seem petty, but free offers for Bibles and Bible studies. Ask your chaplain my counselor?” It helps to I hope we can get prisoners you can’t take it personally. if your facility receives Inside Journal. involve a neutral third party. to stop and realize the whole It might not do any harm if Respect is a learning process. world is not that way. We Continued on page 2

INSIDE JOURNAL | R&O Edition 1 to control things you can’t You can actually use this Viewpoints or shouldn’t. time to change your life Continued from page 1 When You Find Maybe you’ve had a for the better. relationship with God, or Although you may not one person gets away with maybe you’re not sure He have the power to make breaking a rule, but if the Yourself in a Hole even exists. Either way, many choices behind bars, officer makes an exception now is a perfect chance to there are three things you for you, he has to make it by Dan Kingery anymore. It could be at the for everyone else, too. Then loss of a loved one, or in the ask, “Where is God in this can choose: your attitude, situation? Could it be that He your behavior, and your we’ll all have a real problem. tried and true face of overwhelming odds, or has something good planned friends. You can make The job of the COs bit of wisdom in a jail cell. All you’ve been for me in all this?” positive choices about how is to maintain the level says, “If you trying to achieve crumbles to Right now, you might feel you approach your time, how of security needed for find yourself ashes, and there’s nothing you everyone to live and work in crushed. But the worst day you spend your time, and in a hole, can do to try to fix it. a safe environment. When or worst decision of your with whom you spend it. stop digging.” As hard as it is to believe, people give in to negativity, A life doesn’t have to define You don’t have to repeat It makes sense, doesn’t it? these “holes” can be some of the prison environment you. You have a future, and the mistakes that got you in But most of us don’t stop the most helpful, rewarding becomes like a jungle. No in God’s hands, good can this hole in the first place. digging. When we get in seasons in our lives. Facing one wants that chaos. But come from your current Stop digging. By making trouble, we double down on failure is the perfect time to when you show respect, circumstances. No matter deliberate, productive our strategy for living. If we re-evaluate who you are, what act with integrity, and hold how lost, devastated, or sad choices, you begin the path get caught lying, we tell more you stand for, and what you yourself as a person of you feel, choose right now to being a better person lies to cover our tracks. If we want out of life. It’s a time character, you make the not to give up. It’s OK if you with a brighter future. The feel powerless, we strive even to test your beliefs and your environment better for don’t know what tomorrow new you is a step-by-step, harder for control. values and make adjustments. everyone. That’s the kind of will bring. Make the decision moment-by-moment journey But there come moments It’s a time to start finding environment where people today to not just “do time.” … and it starts now. n in life when you can’t strive accountability and stop trying can make real changes in their lives, so they never have to come back. That’s Hope Behind Bars need a safe place to ask hard and a half with every week for he says. “I didn’t care what what we all want. Continued from page 1 questions. While in restrictive the past year. How’s that people thought about me, housing, he received visits for a sign?” because I knew what God Chad, Former Prisoner find. He prayed, “[God], You every week from Prison Ocean said he felt like he thought about me.” I did my time at wanted me to find this? Fellowship volunteers. His was about to fall off a cliff. In June 2015, Ocean was Louisiana State Penitentiary I already understand suff- mentors, Jeff and Steve, met Then Jeff asked Ocean if he released. Today he lives in (“Angola”), a maximum- ering. Why would You show with him to discuss many wanted Jesus Christ to be the same area where he security prison. I had to learn me this?” difficult topics, like faith the one to catch him. Ocean grew up, but he’s a different how to have the respect of He started cussing God and doubt, pain and healing. did. He broke down sobbing. man now. He has forgiven both staff and my fellow out. Then, with tears of Slowly, Ocean’s stone heart “They prayed over me,” his biological mother, who inmates to make the most of desperation, he sat on the began to soften. Ocean remembers, “and I he says still struggles with m y sentence. ground and prayed, “Let there Still, he wanted a sign to felt everything just release addiction. He also has a job, Having respect for be a purpose for suffering.” show him that God really from my shoulders. All the a home, and a family. authority in prison isn’t Ocean began to realize loved him. weight, the pain, the anger, “When I got out, I wanted about your intentions, that he couldn’t control the “Ocean, let me ask you the resentment … God had to change the world,” says although that is important. circumstances that caused something,” said Jeff, who is a to take it from me.” Ocean. “I realized I can’t Other people can’t read his pain, but he could control pastor. “I have 1,800 people When Ocean entered change everybody, but I your mind—they can only how he reacted. He’d never at my church on a Sunday general population, he didn’t can make some difference. observe your words and understood that before. morning. Do you know which know how to socialize. He Right now, I’m [enjoying] your actions. If I’m wrong about that, of those I spend the most just knew he wanted to being a father. And I have a One of the easiest ways what else am I wrong about? time with?” get involved in a Christian desire to be much more.” to show respect is with your he thought. Ocean’s face went blank. community. “If the old Ocean could language around officers. He didn’t know. “[God] helped me get see me now,” he adds, “I “Yes, sir,” “No sir,” and Finding a second sign “You,” said Jeff. “You are back into reality. For the think he’d say, ‘I’m proud “Right away, sir” will go a Ocean knew he would the one I’ve spent an hour first time, I trusted Him,” of you.’” n long way. It’s also best to avoid cussing, complaining, and questioning their authority. Officers are just trying to get through the WITH day the best they can. If NEXT STEPS PRISON FELLOWSHIP your words are respectful and encouraging, it will make their job easier, and PRISON they’ll see you as helpful CONNECTION ANGEL TREE FELLOWSHIP and compliant. But if you CLASSES are routinely showing ACADEMY disrespect, you won’t give the officers much choice but to exert their authority. Connect with your Don’t just serve Ready to go deeper? Your actions can also show respect. One of the child—let them know time—let time serve The Prison Fellowship best things I learned early ® how much you care you. Available at more Academy takes on was to read the rule book this Christmas. When than 300 facilities communities of closely—and then follow you fill out an Angel every month, many incarcerated men and it. Officers generally won’t ® have sympathy for prisoners Tree application, Prison Fellowship women through a who violate a policy and volunteers from a Connection Class™ long-term, intensive then claim they didn’t know local church will buy options will help you program that their actions were wrong. How you relate to your and wrap a gift to be develop life skills, build tackles the roots of fellow inmates will also given to your child in relationships, and study criminal behavior and influence how prison your name. the truths found in supports total life officials view you. Avoid negativity, be cooperative God’s Word. transformation. and respectful, work hard, and don’t act lazy. It won’t take long for staff to see you as a helper instead of a troublemaker. They’ll Ask your chaplain, program coordinator, or Prison Fellowship recognize you as a leader, representative for more details about these programs. Not all and you’ll have less tension programs are available at all facilities, and some conditions apply. in your day. n

2 INSIDE JOURNAL | R&O Edition Don’t Do Your Time Alone by E.G. Andrews critical point in Fayetteville, no way out of the cell. He was Serna asked incredulously. North Carolina, when he tired of dealing with PTSD. It The judge replied, “Yeah, WHERE TO TURN n April 2016, Sgt. was arrested and charged for was one more nightmare he that’s what I’m doing.” WHEN YOU’RE Joseph Serna faced driving under the influence. just wished he could wake up From then on, Serna was FEELING ALONE a night behind bars. Part of Serna’s sentence from. The worst part is that he not the only man in the cell. But the retired Special required that he report was facing it all alone. He was not the only veteran, Grab your Bible (or if Forces Green Beret was to Judge Lou Olivera at the The Bible tells of Jesus’ own either. Olivera had served in you don’t have one, see Inot a stranger to dark places. Veterans Treatment Court experience with loneliness. the Gulf War and endured the Bible ad on the bot- Over the course of three every two weeks. One Jesus, who lived a faultless life, his fair share of war’s horrors. tom of this page), and use tours in Afghanistan, Serna time, Serna lied about a entered into our darkness in He feared that a night alone the following verses to survived several traumatic recent urine test. He later order to bring His light. He would trigger Serna’s PTSD. guide you. experiences that could have admitted this, and the judge showed God’s love, healed The battlefield is difficult for easily claimed his life. He sentenced Serna to one night the sick, and taught those any soldier to leave behind What to Read When ... withstood the dangers of a behind bars. who would listen. Eventually, completely. Between bites of meatloaf, roadside bomb and a suicide Jesus would be accused by You’re lonely or afraid: he and Serna shared their bomber. He survived another A dark night people who refused to believe Psalm 23; Isaiah 41:10; stories. They found common close call in an overturned After his wartime in His message. He then Joshua 1:9; James 1:2–3 experiences, Serna already faced the darkest time in His ground in their experiences truck, which landed upside as U.S. soldiers. Olivera even You’re bitter or angry: down in a canal. Only Sgt. feared being in tight spaces. A life: abandonment, isolation, Luke 6:27–28; night alone in prison sounded torture, and ultimately, death gave Serna the single bunk in Serna would make it out of the cell; the judge slept on a Ephesians 4:26–27; like more than the veteran on a cross. Knowing what the vehicle alive. mattress on the floor. Literally Colossians 3:8–10 could bear. Olivera could tell was to come, Jesus spent While these incidents overnight, their relationship that Serna was anxious. He time alone in a garden and You’re in danger: earned Serna military transformed into something later remembered, “When Joe prayed. He was honest about Psalm 32:7; Psalm 91:11; decorations, they also left Serna had never imagined. All Genesis 5:20 him with his fair share of first came to turn himself in, the pain and anxiety. Still, it took was having someone You’re worried or anxious: emotional baggage. Like he was trembling.” He asked that God’s will there—someone who saw Philippians 4:6–7; many of his fellow soldiers, Serna knew it would be a would be done, even in a night him, not for what he did, but he suffers from post- long night. as dark as that one. for who he was. “It was more Matthew 6:25–34; traumatic stress disorder, or Many of us have of a father/son conversation Romans 8:28; John 14:27 PTSD, and a sense of isolation experienced a “dark night Never alone … It was personal,” Serna You need assurance: and loneliness. To cope with of the soul.” That is the kind As Serna sat alone in told The Washington Times. Proverbs 3:5–6; Psalm the pain, he turned to alcohol. of night Serna faced in that his cell, the silence was With one act of humility and 46:10; John 16:33 His situation reached a North Carolina jail. He had broken moments later by an compassion, a dark and lonely You’re feeling tempted: unexpected visitor: Judge Lou cell became much brighter. Matthew 26:41; Olivera. To Serna’s surprise, Jesus Christ showed 1 Corinthians 10:13; the judge entered the cell. The even greater humility and Ephesians 6:11–12 door closed behind him. compassion when He gave “I got chills when he walked up His life. That sacrifice has You’re feeling guilt or in,” the retired sergeant told paid the debt we owe for our shame: Psalm 51:7–15; The Fayetteville Observer. mistakes—a debt we could John 3:17–18; 2 Corinthians Serna did not move. Olivera never satisfy. Now, those who 5:17; 1 John 1:9 took a seat beside him. It was accept Christ’s gift of grace the only bunk in the cell, and can join a new community: Want to go deeper? Sign up naturally, Serna was confused. fellowship with God. All are for a free correspondence He remembered what Olivera invited to have a relationship Bible study through our had said earlier as they drove with God, to be called His partner organization by to the prison together: “We’re sons and daughters, and to writing to: “Never Alone,” going to turn ourselves in.” experience new life with c/o Inside Journal, PO Surely the judge could not Him always at our side. Box 1790, Ashburn, VA have been serious. “You are Nobody has to do 20146-1790.

Photo by Chad Prince by Chad Photo here with me for the night?” time alone. n

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INSIDE JOURNAL | R&O Edition 3 7 Tips for Better Sleep Behind Bars by S.L. Ray To know if you’re getting caffeine after 2 p.m. and stop go unchecked, will keep me up in through your nose for a enough sleep, ask yourself, eating or exercising several at night,” explains Marvin. “An count of five and out through on’t go to jail are you: hours before bedtime. unsolved problem will float your mouth for a count of if you want a • Waking up not feeling Many prisoners agreed, through my brain until I write five, for five minutes total. good night’s refreshed most days? adding it’s also important to it down,” adds Jesse about his Dr. Breus tells people to sleep,” jokes • Feeling sleepy most days? exercise and eat right daily. incarceration worries. count backward from 300 Chad, a former • Struggling to concentrate Joseph, another current by threes, which requires LouisianaD prisoner. There’s and stay alert during work or prisoner, says he buys 5) Find your “happy place.” concentration, thereby no doubt about it: Prison activities? melatonin (an over-the- James Peasley, a Minnesota taking your mind off all other can keep you from catching • Feeling depressed or counter sleep aid) at the therapist, explains that if worries, and is boring, thereby many z’s. on edge? commissary to help him sleep. negative thoughts or worries putting you to sleep faster. Inside Journal asked former are running through your and current prisoners about If so, here are some tips 3) Pray and read Scripture. mind, you can change 7) If you’re still anxious, try their sleeping experiences. for better sleep, as shared by Prayer has helped many your thoughts just like you grounding exercises. The majority had trouble prisoners and psychologists. prisoners to get better would change the channel Observe your surroundings, sleeping, especially their sleep, like Zane, who says, if something bad came on including the feel of your first weeks, thanks to 1) Make your sleeping area “Surrender things beyond television. body getting heavy on your uncomfortable mattresses, as comfortable as possible. your control to God or a To change your thoughts, mattress, and then slowly a snoring cellie, the noise of Buy earplugs, a small fan, or higher power.” he suggests finding your own list, out loud, five things you officers’ keys, banging doors, a radio with headphones and After struggling with awful personal “mental safe place,” can see, four things you can screaming or loud talking, use them to block out external sleep, night terrors, and cold somewhere you’ve been that touch, three things you can anxiety, safety concerns, and noises. Also, make sure your sweats, Zane dug into prayer has really positive memories, hear, two things you can smell, flushing toilets. body isn’t too warm or cold. and Scripture. Eventually, ideally somewhere in nature. and one thing you can taste. Getting less than six to Get creative with your he was free of his sleep issues Close your eyes and vividly eight hours of sleep can blankets and pillows. “My for good. visualize all the sights, sounds, Experiment until you find negatively affect your body, mattress is not conducive to Michelle, a former prisoner smells, and sensations of that what works for you, and then mind, and spirit. Sleep a good night’s sleep, but I fold in New York, had a similar place until you feel calm. stick to it, doing the same deprivation is also downright up a blanket [to put under] experience. “I slept better “This can actually cause you things at the same time every dangerous. According to the my hips,” says Steve, a because I began the process to get control over troubling night. And remember, sleep National Sleep Foundation, current prisoner, about his of forgiving myself and started emotions,” Peasley says. habits, like any habits, don’t extremely sleepy people are flat, hard bed. attending chapel,” she says. “It doesn’t mean the happen overnight. 70% more likely to have a “Evening devotionals also troubling situation won’t “It took me close to a year workplace accident. 2) Be kind to your body help,” adds Joseph. happen or doesn’t need to calm my mind down and Studies show long-term and mind. attention, but it resets your start to embrace the fact sleep loss can cause weight Avoid anything unhealthy 4) Write out your worries. brain” to stop the obsessive that I couldn’t keep feeling so gain, memory problems, or negative before bed, such Several prisoners we spoke worrying. guilty,” says former prisoner a lowered immune system, as junk foods and violent TV with found journaling to be Michelle. high blood pressure, and shows or books. an effective way of getting 6) Breathe and count. In time, restorative sleep an increased risk for diabetes, According to many sleep thoughts out of their heads Peasley also suggests behind bars is possible. depression, irritability, experts, including Dr. Michael for better rest. placing your hand on your So rest easy. n and more. Breus, you should avoid “My anxieties, if allowed to stomach and slowly breathing

Start Your Sentence Strong With the ConBody Workout by E.G. Andrews approved core exercises that up-and-down scissor-like EXERCISE 4 Marte encourages those you can accomplish right in motions with your legs. behind bars to stay motivated There’s a street corner your cell* (just make sure to and grow stronger—working in lower Manhattan where drink plenty of water!). EXERCISE 3 out, taking classes, getting Coss Marte, then a teenager, counseling, and learning a skill. launched his career selling EXERCISE 1 “You’re going to come out drugs. By 23, he was in prison struggling,” says Marte. “It’s and out of shape. He feared Crab Toe Touch: going to be difficult. But work hard. Build your character. that if something didn’t Sit on the floor with knees You’re going to survive, and change, he would likely die bent and feet together. Place that’s real success.”n of a heart attack before his Hello Dolly/Scissor Kick: your hands behind you. Lift seven-year sentence was up. Lie back and keep your legs your hips off the floor, kick He ran laps around the your right leg up, and touch Bicycle Crunch: together. Extend your legs prison yard and exercised in out and point your toes your right foot with your left Lie on your back and bring his 9-by-6 cell, with nothing toward the ceiling. Slide your hand. Then place your right your knees up to form a but the walls and floor for hands, palms down, under foot on the floor, kick your equipment. He lost 70 pounds 90-degree angle. Keep your © 2019 by Prison Fellowship your tailbone. Keep your head left leg up, and touch your ® hands by your temples, INSIDE JOURNAL in six months. back and your chin tucked. left foot with your right hand. Before his release, he crunch up, and twist across is published four times a year by Using your core strength, Keep alternating legs quickly, Prison Fellowship, the body while kicking your helped at least 20 fellow lift your feet six inches off keeping your core engaged P.O. Box 1790, Ashburn, VA legs in a bicycle motion. (For prisoners lose more than the floor. Separate your legs and your neck relaxed. 20146-1790. example, if you crunch up and prisonfellowship.org 1,000 pounds total. After horizontally as far as you can, to the right, you should draw 703.478.0100 being released from prison, and begin a horizontal scissor *Be careful when exercising, and your right knee in.) Marte launched ConBody, a kick, back and forth. stretch first to help avoid injuries. Editorial Manager: prison-style workout program M.M. White led entirely by formerly EXERCISE 2 Managing Editor: S.L. Ray incarcerated people. The first Writers: E.G. Andrews, studio opened in 2015 on the Use the letters directly Dan Kingery, S.L. Ray above each number same corner where Marte to unlock the Graphic Designer: used to sell drugs. Today, message below! Jaron Davis ConBody also offers a variety A member of the Evangelical of online workout videos. Council for Financial Marte hopes incarcerated Flutter Kick: Accountability and the men and women can exercise Lie on your back with your American Correctional using his videos in prisons arms by your sides and the Association.

where computer tablets palms of your hands down. ® are allowed. Extend your legs completely Inside Journal is a For those of you who don’t out, with knees slightly bent. registered trademark have access to computers, Lift your heels about six inches of Prison Fellowship®. here are a few Marte- off the floor. Make small, rapid,

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