Visit IN AN [Envelope]

Paper, a stamp, and an envelope are all you need to reach one of the neediest mission fields in America …

More than 2.3 million men and woman are locked away in America’s and jails. Most of them are desperate for contact with the outside world. Many have been forsaken by friends and even family members. They long for an expression of human concern.

You will find information on: • How to find a Christ-centered pen pal organization • What it takes to be a pen pal • How to get started (we give you a sample first letter) • How to share your faith with your pen pal • How to disciple your pen pal • Ways to prevent potential problems (do’s and don’ts) • How to handle typical concerns that may arise • What prison life is like • How to help your pen pal prepare for release

Prison Fellowship: 44180 Riverside Parkway, Lansdowne, VA 20176 (703) 478-0100, www.prisonfellowship.org

A Guide to Prisoner Pen Pal Correspondence n Introductio In 2007, because of a shift in our mission, Prison Fellowship ceased its organized efforts to match new to this resource pen-pal relationships, although we continued to give support to existing pen-pal volunteers. Many of these correspondence relationships, built on a strong “I was a prisoner and you came to visit me,” foundation, will continue effectively on their own. We are thankful that there are several other organi - says Jesus in Matthew 25:36. Then, to clarify zations that help to match lonely with caring His meaning to puzzled followers, He adds, pen-pal friends, and we have provided a list in Chapter 3. If you are or desire to become a pen pal to some - “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least one in prison, we are excited about this call to ministry! of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Although we can no longer directly match you with a prisoner, we still want to be a resource in helping you Jesus identifies closely with the weak, the helpless, minister to a prisoner through correspondence. and the outcast. He calls us to serve them in the same This online booklet gives you guidance in how to way we would serve Him . contact a Christian pen-pal service, how to understand Not every Christian can visit prison in person, of the prisoner personality, how to write that first letter, course. But that’s not the only way to minister to a how to use correspondence as a venue for evangelism lonely man or women behind bars. It’s also possible to and discipleship, and how to handle typical problems visit prison in an envelope —through a caring ministry that might come up. of correspondence. The majority of this material was prepared by Prison Fellowship had a pen pal program for former Prison Fellowship staff Terry White and Debbie nearly 30 years, helping to match thousands of Fulmer, both of whom continue to have a deep commit - prisoners with caring Christian volunteers who offered ment to prisoners as people created in God’s image them encouragement, connection with the outside and worthy of our care. Terry includes a description world, and Christ-centered friendship. of his own experience as a pen pal to a prisoner as an encouragement to others. So please read on to learn how you can visit prison in an envelope … and help transform a prisoner’s life! CHAPTeR 1 :: oNe PeN PAL’s PeRsoNAL exPeRIeNCe :: p4

My Pen Pal Robert He was a believer in Jesus Shortly after I joined the staff Christ, so we had a common of Prison Fellowship in the bond in the faith immediately. fall of 1992, I felt it would be But we had virtually nothing good to begin an in-depth else in common. One Pen Pal’s correspondence with a specific rience prisoner. I felt I could learn a lot. He is African-American. e I am white. sonal Exp I hoped it would be helpful in Per my general understanding of prisons and prisoners. I am happily married. How true that proved to be! He is not. I applied for a pen pal through Prison Fellowship’s I have traveled quite a bit. Pen Pal Program and was assigned He has not. Robert. I knew only that he was imprisoned in Florida and that He’s lived only in Florida. he had finished several I’ve lived mainly in the Midwest. years of college. When we first connected, His interests are Robert had served three years sports, cars, and body building. of an eventual eight-year hitch. Not me. It was not his first time in prison, I was to learn. He had a criminal record (“habitual offender”). I had almost no knowledge of “the system.”

But we were both reaching out for friendship. And it worked. Over time, I came to love Robert deeply. He shared with me his daily schedule, his interpersonal tensions, and many of his fears and struggles. He also shared with me scriptures he’d found, strength gained from resisting temptations, and occasional spiritual victories that thrilled both of us. He prayed for me, for my family, CHAPTER 1 and for needs I shared with him. p5 :: CHAPTeR 1 :: oNe PeN PAL’s PeRsoNAL exPeRIeNCe CHAPTeR 1 :: oNe PeN PAL’s PeRsoNAL exPeRIeNCe :: p6

I play piano, so I made a Robert and I searched would send them on special I, like many thousands of tape of Christian songs for his together for post-release help occasions. Once he even pen-pal volunteers, have been birthday and sent it off. He never as his outdate grew near. commissioned a prison artist enriched and blessed by my got it. The prison administration I contacted churches, ministries, to draw my portrait, copying correspondence ministry with refused it, and it disappeared. social service agencies, and even it from a photo I had sent. a prisoner. Best of all is the Once he was silent for nearly friends who were in the South He was moved a number knowledge that, as I reached a month. I later learned he’d been Florida area. I hoped to find of times. Each time, there was out to one in prison, I was doing in an interpersonal conflict and spent someone to help this prisoner a “hiccup” in our mail relationship, it as unto Christ Himself. That’s time “in the hole” (administrative who would be pushed out the as letters were returned from what He says in Matthew 25:40. segregation), where he could neither door of his prison with $100 the old prison, and it took time send nor receive mail. in hand and one change of for him to get me his new address. Terry White At one point he was angry non-prisoner clothing. The pace of his letters increased with me, told me to quit writing, No transportation. No plans. with frantic intensity as he neared Former Vice-President and said he didn’t want to hear from No help of any kind. release. Then, when he was out, he Communications me anymore. I kept writing, and There were times in our telephoned me—at work. He assured Prison Fellowship eventually he wrote relationship when I became a little me he wanted to stay connected as uncomfortable and unsure. How he got adjusted to life after prison. “Thank you for sticking with me.” much family information should It has now been a while I reveal? Were there any risk since I’ve heard from Robert. I pray He had some bitter family factors that my wife and family that he’s doing well … avoiding disappointments. Someone promised needed to know? temptation … staying faithful to to bring his son to visit him at Several times Robert a job and to the Lord. Christmas. They never showed up— wanted to call me collect. Robert will always be my never notified him. That Christmas, I said no. Was that wise, or right? special friend. I hope we can stay he later told me, mine was the only I don’t know. Once he asked me in touch for many years. In our Christmas card he received. to pay a subscription for him four-and-a-half-year correspondence, Our trust relationship grew. to a magazine. I did. Should I received 121 letters from him and One Christmas he really wanted I have? Maybe not. But it was answered each. That’s about one a pair of cross-trainer athletic shoes. a small gift that I gave to him exchange every two weeks, which So I learned his size, bought a pair, in Jesus’ name, and I saw no seems to be a pretty typical pace and sent them to his mother, who harm in it. for a pen-pal relationship. delivered them. Robert would obtain lovely greeting cards through the system, somehow, and CHAPTeR 2 :: WHY Be A PeN PAL? :: p8

The Value of Mail Pam and Blair, who correspond Mail is important to prisoners. with four prisoners from their home For some, letters from the outside in Missouri, say, are the only rays of light into “When we started 13 years ago, we their dark worlds. thought we would bring a little joy to Why Be these men behind bars. Instead, what al? One Iowa prisoner says, a blessing we receive when letters come A Pen P “In here, letters are sacred. to us. Some of these men have given Mail is the one thing everyone much more to us than we give them.” is serious about.” The Prisoners’ Perspective A Texas prisoner says, From the prisoners’ perspective, “I place more value on letters having a pen pal can be a key element and books from my pen pal than in spiritual growth and in survival of anything in the world.” the brutal prison experience.

Tony, imprisoned in New York, says, Prisoner Sharon, writing about “Keeping in touch with the her pen pal Maria, says, outside is very important … “Maria does encourage me prisoners need pen pals to stay close to the Lord, and she because some of us have sends tracts that she feels will help. no one out there to write to. But she does a lot more than that Pen pals could save a life.” and this is what makes her special. I’m glad she’s the one who got Diana, a pen-pal volunteer my name. She does get closer, from California, says, like a friend, and that’s hard “I have had the privilege of to come by in prison.” being a pen pal to prisoners for about 13 years, and have Prisoner James tells us, always felt the smile of the Lord “Through the mail we have upon me for this service. God gone through good times and bad has called me to build up the times. But my friends have never body as a nurse, teacher, let me down, and I’m really mother, and as a friend to prisoners. thankful that the Lord has allowed I believe ‘going into the prison’ this friendship to grow. The through letter correspondence encouragement and fellowship is an answer to the call of Christ they have given to me is great, to bring the Gospel to the lost.” and they have helped me to develop a deeper relationship with Christ. They have been, and still are, a very important CHAPTER 2 part of my life.” p9 :: CHAPTeR 2 :: WHY Be A PeN PAL? CHAPTeR 2 :: WHY Be A PeN PAL? :: p10

Tommy, writing about the Who Can Be a Pen Pal? • It is important to commit. pen pal he calls “Pa,” says, Because letter writing can be Follow-through is vital. It can “I had not even thought done any hour of the day or night, be emotionally devastating for about becoming a Christian. it fits well for those who work odd a prisoner to take the risk of I thought God hated me hours; or for those who juggle daytime writing and then not hear back, and I even felt He would schedules with occupations, children, or to be rejected without punish me if I dared pray spouses, and church activities; or for good reason. Some pen-pal to Him. Pa came along and those who have limited ability to get relationships continue for a actually cared from his heart. out. Just about everyone can find a decade or more, and some Pa didn’t push hard. He didn’t few minutes a couple times a month volunteers write to many turn away when I rejected to write a letter. prisoners simultaneously. and rebelled. Every time But there is more to being This is a long-term friendship I would send him a new list a pen pal than just having time and discipleship ministry, of reasons why I could never to write. What are the qualities not a short-range or become a Christian, he of a good pen pal? “one-time” ministry. would sort through them and explain more about God to • A pen pal needs to be stable, • Buoyancy is required. me. Today I have a Bible. emotionally and spiritually. The pen pal must not get I’ve read John three times The volatile environment discouraged easily. There may and now I am on James. of prisons means that prisoners be months when the prisoner I have the desire now to often have roller-coaster doesn’t respond. Gifts may become a Christian. emotions and experiences. return unopened or just disap - It’s very hard in this place, The pen pal needs to be able pear. You may be disappointed— filled with hate. Somehow, to ride above the volatility and prisoners relapse or tire if their Pa saved my soul for Jesus.” stick to the original purpose personal agendas are not being of spiritual encouragement. filled. You may be assigned to two or three prisoners before • A pen pal must be finding one who results in a motivated for ministry. satisfying relationship. Stay at it. There is little public glory Do not be discouraged. attached to this ministry, but there can be great personal Now, motivated to minister, reward and treasures in heaven. and understanding the commitment “Doing unto the least of these” necessary, it’s time to look at how has its own particular brand of to get started. encouragement and satisfaction that comes from being obedient to God and His Word. CHAPTeR 3 :: GeTTING sTARTeD :: p12

Finding a Pen Pal • The first letter doesn’t There are several ministries that have to be long. match inmates to people who want Just introduce yourself. Give to minister through correspondence. your name, interests, and line Some are local to a state or geographic of work. Tell what church Getting area, while others are national in you attend and what your scope. A list can be found at the hobbies are. Started end of this chapter. We strongly recommend that • Basic facts. you work through one of these organi - Born where, education, career, zations because they may be able to military, married, the how-and- match you in ways that provide more when of your salvation, and why protection and may be able to provide you volunteered to be a pen pal. ongoing support for any questions or issues that come up. • What not to ask Many chaplains in federal and The letter shouldn’t ask an state correctional facilities welcome inmate, “What are you in for?” inquiries from individuals who desire (reason for incarceration). to write to prisoners. Chaplains often have a list of prisoners’ names who • Build trust in your initial letters. have indicated an interest in having Don’t give people advice unless a pen pal. To contact the chaplain at they ask for it. Letters should be a correctional facility in a particular filled with genuine questions state, you may visit the Department about the life of your pen pal. of Corrections’ website for that state Basic questions must come first: to obtain a phone number and/or Where are you from? Where e-mail address. were you born? Do you have a family? Each question will open Where to Begin? doors to new ones. Share the When you first receive your pen basics of your own life. People pal’s information, give thanks to need to trust you. The first few the Lord for your new contact and letters must have the intention ask for His guidance as you enter of building trust and confi - the pen-pal relationship. dence—the “right to be heard.” What should a first letter contain? Nearly a hundred prisoners and pen- pal volunteers were asked that ques - tion. Here are some of their responses: CHAPTER 3 p13 :: CHAPTeR 3 :: GeTTING sTARTeD CHAPTeR 3 :: GeTTING sTARTeD :: p14

• The first letter should offer A Sample First Letter Joseph G. Jones #8829423 Some Personal Cautions friendship and encouragement. Always use the prisoner’s complete Sumpter Correctional Institution How much personal information The first letter should let the address, including the Department B-4, 6-C, Unit N should you share? Only as much as prisoner know that you are of Corrections (DOC) identification Anywhere, IL 55555 you feel comfortable sharing. Because writing to offer friendship and number. Most mail will not be the purpose of the correspondence encouragement (so the prisoner delivered without this number. Dear Joseph: is to encourage the prisoner in (or doesn’t get his hopes up about And because many prisons have I was pleased to receive your name and toward) a Christian faith, you will have something more—like romance multiple units, it is also necessary address and hear that you were interested in to judge how much personal informa - or financial help). [Note: Some to note carefully whether there having a pen pal. I am looking forward to getting tion is “sidetracking” from the purpose pen-pal matching organizations is a unit number in the address, to know you through our correspondence in the of the relationship. But remember, the have “ground rules” to define the or whether it’s a prison or work months ahead. Since I know virtually nothing process of building trust and earning relationship. The organization camp, etc. about you, I’ll be interested to learn a little more the right to be heard makes it neces - may encourage you to send this about your family, about any background you sary to share enough information to list to the prisoner pen pal.] wish to give, and about your daily schedule and build a trust relationship, while also life where you are now. protecting your privacy and safety. • A good first letter should My goal in having a pen pal is to Because it is now so easy to locate address your personality establish a friendship in which we both can an individual’s home address, and as best you can, and some of share a little encouragement and information. phone number on the Internet, you your social interests or hobbies. Perhaps we can broaden our understanding of may want to use a pseudonym—partic - But also it should address why each other’s situations. ularly for your last name. (Do not use you are writing a prisoner. I am a high school math teacher. My wife only your first name, with no last and I have three children—one in college and the name, because when your prisoner • A good first letter should be other two in high school. Although my schedule pen-pal writes back, the prison may encouraging and uplifting. is very busy with school and church activities, I not release mail that does not include Include a little information plan to answer every letter you write, and to write a full name on the envelope.) (not too personal) regarding the at least every other week as I am able to do so. As a precaution, we recommend writer. Tell how you came to The P.O. Box I use as an address is that you use a post office box or church Christ. Tell about your activities right on my way to work, so I’ll receive your address (check with the church staff as a Christian in your church or letters very quickly and should be able to first) rather than your home address. Bible studies. Be friendly, but not respond within a very short time. pushy or preachy. A first letter is That’s enough to get us started. I look an introduction. We are always forward to hearing from you and to our beginning eager to meet new people. to share some of the things that are important to us. Feel free to call me Don, as that’s what most of my friends use.

Warmly,

Donald P. Smith P.O. Box 6814 Hometown, OK 12345 p15 :: CHAPTeR 3 :: GeTTING sTARTeD CHAPTeR 3 :: GeTTING sTARTeD :: p16

Should you explain the Gospel right Next, share your testimony. Telling • Acknowledge that your pen Pen Pal Resources away? We suggest that you first share what Christ means in your life may have pal’s pain is real. Help to Prison Fellowship does not how you came to know Christ a tremendous impact on those who are validate the prisoner’s feelings endorse the following organizations as Savior and Lord. Telling about your searching spiritually or who don’t know by using such phrases as, or ministries but simply provides own experience is more low-key and they can have a relationship with God. “I imagine you felt …” or this referral as a service to the will not come across as “preachy.” Pray Romans 2:4b states that the love “I can see how you might prison ministry community. We for God’s discernment about when and and goodness of God brings repentance. have felt very lonely, angry, suggest that materials and services how to share the Gospel message in It is our job as followers of Christ to depressed, etc. in that situation.” be reviewed by each requesting a more directed way that will give an communicate effectively that love and to agency or individual prior to use. opportunity for the prisoner to accept sow seeds leading to knowledge of Him. • Speak God’s Word, the gift of Christ’s forgiveness and You may be the prisoner’s only but don’t preach. Listing from the salvation (more on this in Chapter 4). contact with the outside world. Fami - Prison Ministry Network Be sensitive to the prisoner’s lies and friends often stop writing and • Don’t violate prison rules. June 2007: level of spiritual knowledge and visiting someone who is incarcerated Many prisoners have a history of understanding. Remember that many for many years. violating rules. They need to see Christian Pen Pals prisoners have become experts in the You have a unique opportunity someone follow a standard. P.O. Box 2112 language of Christianity, but sometimes to shine in the darkness of their lives Statesville, NC 28687 the reality of experience is not behind it. just by writing and sharing an encour - • Never betray your pen pal’s www.Christian-Penpals.com aging word. trust. Most prisoners have very How to Start few friends to rely on. Evangel Prison Ministries Former Prison Fellowship staff member Additional Tips P.O. Box 19229 Debbie Fulmer gives excellent advice As you continue to write, • Humor can help heal. Louisville, KY 40259 on how to get started: keep these tips in mind. www.evangelprisonministries.org Many new pen pals are faced with • If you do something hurtful a question. What do I say to a person • Offer encouragement. Let your (like failing to write for a while Inmate Pen Pal Connection I don’t know? Just remember, this per - prisoner pen pal know there is or saying something offensive), P.O. Box 73 son is someone God loves and died for such a thing as a new beginning. be quick to admit you were Syracuse, NY 13206-0073 to set free. This is a message that you Jesus forgives everyone of sin. wrong and ask for forgiveness. www.inmatepenpalconnection.org will have the opportunity to share. It’s a good example to the First, pray. Ask God to give you • Don’t ask why the prisoner prisoner of taking responsibility Romans Chapter 8 Ministries wisdom and the words your pen pal is in prison. Remember, you for your actions. It will help P.O. Box 8771 needs to hear. Ask about your pen wouldn’t want someone to build trust. And it’s simply Endwell, NY 13762-8771 pal’s spiritual life. If the prisoner pro - ask you what your greatest sin the right thing to do. (serving Northeast, South, fesses faith in God, encourage personal is. Once you have developed Midwest) Bible reading or, if possible, regular a relationship of trust, your Several ways to share the Gospel are chapel and Bible study attendance. pen pal may feel comfortable demonstrated in the next chapter, but (Some prisoners do not have access in sharing more about his or it is always appropriate to speak from to activities outside their cells.) her criminal past. your own experience. Detailing how you met a certain situation with Christ’s help, or with reliance on the Word of God, may be just the example your new friend needs. CHAPTeR 4 :: sHARING YouR FAITH :: p18

A Need for Discernment Five Common Many believers feel a sense of Characteristics urgency to evangelize. It is ultimately of Prisoners important that each individual have Understanding five characteristics an opportunity to make a personal shared by many prisoners may help Sharing commitment to Christ and receive you in crafting sensitive letters: ith the free gift of salvation. Your Fa In our zeal, however, we can • LONELY sometimes move a little too fast To a prisoner isolated from and turn off the person to whom family, friends, and the outside we’re witnessing. You will have to world, time drags. Try to write exercise discernment and skill as you regularly and give a prompt try to assess the spiritual condition reply to every letter you of your prisoner pen pal. receive. One volunteer says, As indicated earlier, many “Tell them loneliness is God prisoners have had religious upbring - saying, ‘Find Me.’ ” ing, which equips them with Christian language and even scriptural knowl - • USELESS edge. Many prisoners are indeed Being incarcerated devastates Christians—they have recognized their a person’s self-esteem. Highlight need for Christ as their Savior—but your friend’s talents and good have not really surrendered to Him qualities. Don’t dwell on past as Lord of their lives and/or have not or “preach.” Assuming learned what it means to live out their the role of an encouraging faith in their daily lives. And some friend builds a foundation of prisoners are not believers but deliber - trust that may prompt your pen ately use “God-talk” to accomplish pal to “open up” at a later time. more personal, manipulative goals. Remember, a little praise goes Understanding a prisoner’s a long way toward restoring needs will help you know how—and a sense of self-worth. how soon—to present the Gospel if there is not clear evidence that your • BITTER pen pal is already a believer. Prisoners may harbor bitterness toward those in authority, toward those who testified against them, toward family who did not “bail them out,” or toward society in general. Encourage proper attitudes by helping your prisoner pen pal see authority CHAPTER 4 as good and necessary. Yes, p19 :: CHAPTeR 4 :: sHARING YouR FAITH CHAPTeR 4 :: sHARING YouR FAITH :: p20

there are injustices in the prison Bonnie and Allen: She added that Help for Evangelism system. Many rules and proce - A Gentle Witness “the key was just the Lord’s timing Remember that the Christian’s dures seem to make no sense. Ultimately, we would like to see for Allen and Allen’s openness to Him. responsibility is to sow the seed. You can help by reminding your every person come to a personal Whether or not any redemptive work God will bring forth the harvest pen pal of the importance of knowledge of Christ as Savior. The takes place [in a relationship like this] in His own good timing. forgiveness and patience. pen-pal relationship is a wonderful is up to the Holy Spirit and how open Here are some ideas for Remember, God can use even way to introduce a nonbeliever the prisoner is to change.” “other influences” you might unjust for His glory. to Christ and His Word. However, mention to help a prisoner hear because it is so difficult for many It often is very difficult the Gospel message and respond. • AIMLESS prisoners to grasp the concept for a prisoner to make this kind Life in prison is dramatically of unconditional love and the free of commitment. • Pamphlets and tracts different from life on the outside. offer of salvation, they often treat You can find pamphlets, tracts Prisoners have difficulty adjust - witness-sharing information with Bonnie says, and resources to help equip ing to the present or planning suspicion and caution. “It’s as if they are killing a very big you to share your faith at the realistically for the future. One pen-pal volunteer, part of who they are. They are killing following websites: Questions about interests, Bonnie, gave Prison Fellowship the past and leaving that behind. talents, work experience, and a complete notebook of her three- It’s hard because the past is what American Tract Society education may inspire them year correspondence with Allen, is comfortable to them. So it’s www.atstracts.org to set constructive goals for a prisoner from Iowa. With his really difficult for them to stay their lives. permission, she included copies strong when they are being ridiculed EvanTell of all of Allen’s letters to her, of and harassed by people around them”— www.evantell.org • SUSPICIOUS well as copies of her letters to him. as often happens when a prisoner Many prisoners have never Through the correspondence, experiences a “religious conversion.” Evangelism Explosion had positive relationships. Bonnie continually nudged Allen a www.eeinternational.org Because they’ve grown up little bit closer to committing his life Bonnie tried to fortify Allen’s believing “nothing comes free,” to Christ by asking strategic questions genuine faith by sending tapes and RBC Ministries they may suspect your motives about his future, by getting him to other books to the . She www.rbc.org in befriending them. You should read and respond to certain Scripture wanted him to have other resources persevere in caring about them, passages, and by encouraging him to in addition to her letters. The Navigators respecting them, and in being participate in Christian programming www.navigators.org open about yourself. In time, whenever possible. She says, your sincerity and its source— Allen eventually gave his “It’s so important to have that Christian The Pocket God’s love—will shine through. heart to Christ and became a fellowship to grow in. That’s why I was so Testament League committed Christian. When asked glad he had a chaplain friend and several www.pocketpower.org if her correspondence provided a believing inmates to encourage him.” good model, Bonnie said, “It’s probably ideal as a model, but it is probably not the norm.” p21 :: CHAPTeR 4 :: sHARING YouR FAITH CHAPTeR 4 :: sHARING YouR FAITH :: p22

• Books, tapes, and resources • Prison ministry programs. Ultimately, a person must Often a prisoner is not There may already be Christian be loved to Christ—not pushed permitted to receive these programming in the prison or shoved. If your pen pal is from resources from an individual. where your pen pal is located. another religious group—say, (Check with the chaplain or Several national and local min - Jewish, Muslim, or some other prison administration.) But istries take Christian studies, non-Christian group—you may need books sometimes can be sent seminars, and evangelistic yard to go slowly in presenting the Gospel, inside if they come directly events into prisons. recognizing the need to preserve from a publisher or a distributor. the individual’s dignity. If you choose to send a book Check the following A life lived for Christ is directly from a publisher, websites for specifics and probably the best testimony to be sure that the name and contact information: God’s love and power. As you face address that you use in your daily situations, as you work your correspondence is the one that Prison Fellowship way through crises, as you learn would appear on any papers www.prisonfellowship.org from sermons and Bible studies the inmate would receive. and personal devotions, share Billy Graham those lessons with a prayer that The rules vary widely and Evangelistic Association God will use them in the life of are always subject to local www.billygraham.org your pen pal. interpretation. Some prisons Friendship-without-ulterior- will allow only paperbacks— Kairos Prison motives is difficult. We truly want no hardback or leather-bound Ministry International to be friends and encouragers. books. Some will allow no www.kairosprisonministry.org But we also are compelled to share cassette tapes. Others will allow what we know to be eternal truth. tapes if the plastic cases are Good News Jail Yet God is the One who draws people transparent (not translucent) & Prison Ministry to Himself. We must be faithful, and if they contain no metal www.goodnewsjail.org and trust Him for the rest. screws (plastic bonded only). Be sure to check with the prison about any restrictions before sending anything to your pen pal.

You might also check to see if a Christian radio station can be heard at the prison. Prisoners who are denied cassette players are sometimes permitted radios. CHAPTeR 5 :: eNCouRAGING AND DIsCIPLING YouR PeN PAL :: p24

Spiritual Growth Distance-learning opportunities Opportunities are becoming available in more How do you help a person grow prisons. These may include correspon - in his or her faith, using only the dence courses, or courses on video ing and U.S. Postal Service? or audio tape, or occasionally classes Encourag Steadily and creatively, that’s how. taught by an in-prison instructor. By Pen Pal Having been introduced to Jesus participating in these opportunities, ling Your Christ, your prisoner pen pal now needs prisoners can strengthen and deepen Discip encouragement to begin and develop their understanding of God’s Word a personal relationship with Christ. and the Christian life. Your first goal should be to en - Starting at the GED level, and courage your pen pal in whatever per - continuing on through Bible certifica - sonal growth activities you can. Daily tion courses, and on to college-level reading of the Bible is the cornerstone. courses, a variety of options may be If your prisoner pen pal does not open to prisoners. have a Bible, he or she should be able One excellent institution offering to obtain one from a chaplain. If not, three tiers of educational experience prisoners may request a Free on the is Crossroad Bible Institute of Grand Inside Bible in English or Spanish from: Rapids, Michigan. You may find information about CBI at: The International Bible Society Crossroad Bible Institute P.O. Box 35700 P.O. Box 900 Colorado Springs, CO Grand Rapids, MI 80935-3570 49509-0900 www.crossroadbible.org Prayer life is the second key. Encouraging your pen pal to keep a Encouraging Community prayer diary, listing prayers requests God has created us to experience and answers, is helpful. spiritual growth within community— Sending your own written sum - the body of Christ. maries of sermons you have heard, or Bible studies you have experienced, Scripture says, can be meaningful. Be sure to include “Let us not give up meeting the “application” as well as the together, as some are in the habit theological content. of doing, but let us encourage one another …” (Hebrews 10:25).

Having other Christians around us as we learn to follow Christ provides a source of accountability, CHAPTER 5 fellowship, and support. For this reason, you will want p25 :: CHAPTeR 5 :: eNCouRAGING AND DIsCIPLING YouR PeN PAL CHAPTeR 5 :: eNCouRAGING AND DIsCIPLING YouR PeN PAL :: p26 to encourage your pen pal to get Studying Together Learning and Pen pals can play a significant involved in Bible studies and other One way to encourage growth in your Literacy Levels Vary role in reinforcing these studies, in Christian programming that will help pen pal is to do a Bible study together. Much has been made about the low suggesting and providing (where build a sense of community with In one letter, you might send some literacy level in prisons. By some possible) further study resources, other Christian inmates—as well pages from a Bible study booklet with estimates, between one-third and and in praying for the development as volunteers from the outside. The questions the prisoner can work on. In one-half of the people in U.S. prisons of in-prison church leadership. same Christian organizations listed the meantime, you are working on the are “functionally illiterate”—that is, in Chapter 4 provide discipleship same Bible study lesson. Then, in later they cannot satisfactorily fill out a job Have a Balance programs in prisons as well as letters, each of you can share with the application or do basic paperwork. As much as you are concerned about evangelistic ones. Encourage your other what you have learned and how In addition, research continues your pen pal’s spiritual growth, don’t pen pal to find out what’s available you have tried to apply what you are to show that a significantly let this become the only thing you talk in his or her prison. learning. This will help you hold each disproportionate number of prisoners about or the prisoner might start to Most prisons also have chaplains other accountable to being in God’s have learning disabilities, compared think that you’re viewing him or her and chapel services. Many chaplains Word, and you can gain some mean - with the general U.S. population. as a "project" rather than as a person. are wonderful, faithful Christians who ingful insights from each other! So the incidences of Attention Deficit As mentioned in earlier chapters, show are committed to nurturing spiritual Also, encourage your pen pal to Disorder (ADD), Attention Deficit an interest in all parts of his or her growth among the prisoners in their ask you any questions he or she has Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), life—family, work, accomplishments, institutions. However, because of about the Christian faith or about what visual-perceptual problems, Fetal hopes, dreams, etc. budget cuts and the need for chaplains he or she is studying. You may not Alcohol Syndrome, and other learning Honoring a prisoner on to accommodate prisoners of all have all the answers—it’s perfectly disabilities further complicate the “special” days—such as Christmas or different faiths, many have been forced O.K. to say “I don’t know, but let me educational picture. birthdays—can be very meaningful. into the role of administrator over see if I can find out more about it.” In addition, for many prisoners These days can be especially lonely for pastor. Many rely on outside churches You may want to ask your pastor to in the U.S. prison system, English is a someone in prison. You may want to and faith groups to lead worship help you with some answers. second language. Though many under - send a special gift; keep the cost low— services, so there may not be as much stand some spoken English, the written anything of value can be traded. Books, consistency in quality as there would language is harder for them. bookmarks, or stationery make good be if one pastor were shepherding Yet Prison Fellowship has choices for gifts, although the institu - the group week to week. discovered that even some of the tion’s specific guidelines must be fol - Be aware, also, that many chapels least-prepared and most-disadvantaged lowed. Some will permit only cards. have become places where surrepti - prisoners can do significantly meaty tious same-sex trysts or drug deals Bible and theological studies, if they occur—as some prisoners use “church” have the time and the motivation. It is as an excuse to get out of their cells not uncommon to see a line of prison - and hook up with others for their own ers heading for a midweek Bible study purposes. Therefore, prisoners who carrying their , a Bible dictionary, genuinely want to grow in their a concordance, or even a Greek Christian faith may not want to be interlinear New Testament! in that environment. So if your pen pal indicates a lack of interest in chapel, don’t push him or her go. Find out more about the reasons for the prisoner's reluctance. CHAPTeR 6 :: WHeN PRoBLeMs oCCuR :: p2 8

Preventive Care • Give out your telephone The first way to avoid problems is to number or agree to receive stick to the following “do’s and don’ts” collect calls. of writing to a prisoner pen pal: • Send photos, except for group shots. When DO • Tell the prisoner about your Occur • Remember that the main personal problems. Problems purpose of a pen pal ministry is Christian friendship. What Kinds of Problems? • Use a post office box or Occasionally the news media feature your church address. shocking and dramatic stories of pen- • Encourage and pray for your pal relationships gone bad. In most in - prisoner friend regularly. cidents there were obvious violations • Write at least twice a month, of the kind of safeguards listed above. if possible. There is some element of risk in • Be a good listener and give getting into a correspondence relation - hope through God’s Word. ship with convicted lawbreakers. When • Be aware that prisoners may problems occur, they are usually in have emotional ups and downs. one of four areas: You may be able to provide some emotional stability. • financial scams • Be aware of con games. • romantic attachments • Be prepared for the possibility • ulterior motives, such as a of unwanted romantic overtures. desire to obtain legal help; to aid • Check prison regulations undercover illegal activity; or to before sending any gifts, press for leniency, pardon, or books, magazines, or tapes post-conviction help (only for Christmas, birthdays, • support upon release or special occasions). from prison.

DON’T Financial Scams • Give legal advice or counsel It will come as no surprise that there regarding a prisoner’s case. are dishonest people in prison. What • Send money for financial starts out as a seemingly wholesome support or legal fees; don’t correspondence relationship can co-sign loans or process quickly turn into requests for financial money orders. aid for education, pleas for essential • Ask why a prisoner toiletries and clothing that are not is incarcerated. being provided by the prison system, • Provide other names and or other requests for financial aid. addresses for your prisoner Everett I. Perrin, Jr., superintend - CHAPTER 6 pen pal to write to. ent of a Florida State Prison, wrote and distributed an article entitled “The p29 :: CHAPTeR 6 :: WHeN PRoBLeMs oCCuR CHAPTeR 6 :: WHeN PRoBLeMs oCCuR :: p30

Games Inmates Play,” in which he can simply say, “That’s against (the Married women are encouraged to Volunteers should never become warned well-meaning Christians not to organization’s) recommended guide - give the names of husbands when first involved in legal questions or counsel be victimized by manipulative inmates. lines.” It’s also perfectly acceptable making introductions, and some choose prisoners concerning their cases. This to say, “I’m not comfortable with that to sign letters as coming from the fam - includes writing letters to parole boards In one scam Perrin describes, request and will have to refuse.” ily, rather than from an individual. or attorneys. State from the beginning “the inmate pays to have his Another option is to respond, “Let me If a prisoner requests a photo, that this is a Christian friendship, and name and address placed in publications check and see if the prison will permit it may be best to send a photo of the all other matters must be taken to a asking for friends to correspond with … this.” Most do not, and the prisoner entire family, or a Sunday school class, lawyer or case worker. the inmate starts seemingly innocent may get in trouble for asking. or a Bible study group (get permission Certain resources for prisoners are correspondence and then requests Of course, with any of these first!), with the pen-pal volunteer available through Prison Fellowship’s stamps or money. The inmate will use responses, it is possible the prisoner included. Many prisoners seek family correspondence department. You may these stamps to write letters to more will try to bully or “guilt” the pen pal ties, and the love of Christ shared suggest that your pen pal write to caring people. In some cases, he may until his or her demands are met. If the through letters sent from a family con - Prison Fellowship for possible referral send 50-60 letters a day and never problem persists, notify the chaplain or text can open hearts to the Gospel. information. (However, make clear buy a stamp.” warden at the facility (or the pen-pal Sometimes skillful prisoners will that even Prison Fellowship will not organization that matched you). prey on lonely women who are wid - be able to offer personal legal advice The inmate, Perrin says, implies owed or divorced, or who have been on specific cases.) that he does not have money for per - Romantic Overtures going through difficult situations such Volunteers may be concerned that sonal items such as underwear, and is This is a particularly difficult area. as depression or major illness. Unsus - prisoners, especially upon release, may not provided other basic necessities. Christian compassion and the love of pecting elderly women sometimes get come to the volunteer’s location to Christ can be easily misinterpreted, and drawn into awkward positions by make personal contact. For this reason Perrin says, unsuspecting volunteers are sometimes younger prisoners. we discourage using home addresses “Some inmates actually ask drawn into situations where they are If a prisoner indicates a romantic and giving out telephone numbers. to be placed on an allowance,” not comfortable. interest, kindly but firmly reaffirm that It is true, however, that modern Many male prisoners have the purpose of pen-pal correspondence technology such as the Internet makes indicating that some prisoners may never had a satisfactory nonromantic is friendship and that you are not inter - it possible to find nearly anyone in be receiving donations amounting to relationship with a female. They may ested in anything else. If the prisoner the U.S. hundreds of dollars per month. not know how to be “just friends” persists with romantic overtures, state For those who are especially In addition, anything of value can with a woman. Both single and mar - that you will have to stop writing if concerned about this security issue, become “currency” in the prison system. ried women need to be aware that a friendship cannot be maintained. the added step of having an unlisted Stamps, cigarettes, or other items can a male inmate can easily become When an improper or difficult situation telephone number may be wise. In become a medium for trading, gam - infatuated with a woman he has never occurs, you may also want to seek general, phone numbers publicly listed bling, or wielding power over other met. Prisoners are lonely and may counsel from the prison chaplain, are relatively easy to find on the prisoners. One volunteer indicated that have lost contact with their loved ones your pastor or spiritual leader, or the Internet. Unlisted numbers and their the two items she is most frequently and friends. Same-sex “come-ons” organization that matched you with addresses generally don’t show up in asked to supply are stamps and money also occur. the prisoner pen pal. Internet databases. orders. Note that some prison systems Single women are encouraged to And as mentioned earlier in provide prisoners with a certain number involve their Bible study or groups of Manipulation Chapter 3, you may decide to use of stamped envelopes per month, so friends in a prisoner correspondence Sometimes prisoners enter a pen-pal a pseudonym in place of your actual there may be no need for stamps at all. relationship, sending letters from the relationship with the ulterior motive of last name so that personal information How should the volunteer re - group rather than from one person. gaining help to seek a pardon or early cannot be found. spond? If you were matched through parole, or of manipulating the volun - a particular pen-pal organization, you teer in some other way. CHAPTeR 7 :: DeALING WITH THe sYsTeM :: p32

A Primer on Prison Further, prisoner-labor is often There are many surprises in store used for such functions as servicing for the pen-pal volunteer who has the mailroom and chapel, and in some no knowledge of how the prison cases this may mean that the level of system works. service and caring is not high. Dealing In the U.S. there are In addition, the chaplain’s tem approximately 1,300 state prisons office does not always provide service th the Sys and 100 federal facilities. In addition, that matches the expectations of a Wi there are county jails, military brigs, volunteer. In some states, chaplain’s and youth facilities. These offices have been abolished altogether, institutions vary in their security usually for budgetary reasons. In other level, ranging from super-maximum cases, one chaplain may serve many security down to “honor farms” institutions. Some chaplains are or work camps. volunteers, and so the quality of There is a growing industry response and caring may vary from of private prisons. These are built, institution to the next. owned, and operated by private com - The pen-pal volunteer should be panies, with government units simply prepared for some of the following: paying a per diem for each prisoner or renting space in the facilities. • Prisoners may be moved There are also thousands of quickly, without warning. county jails that house prisoners, Mail often is not forwarded. generally for lengths of not more than a year. Some of them are huge. Jails • Prisoners may “disappear” in New York City, Los Angeles, Texas, for some time. This usually and Chicago house many thousands means they are in administrative of prisoners. In addition, some state segregation (solitary confine - prisons are now so overcrowded that ment) or perhaps have been county jail cells are leased for the moved either to protective cus - housing of state prisoners. tody or to a medical or psychi - atric facility. Long silences may Security First not necessarily mean lack of in - The number-one concern of prison terest on the prisoner’s part. administrations is security. All control is in the hands of the prison • Very few prison mailrooms will administration. Certainly, many prison permit magazines, books, or officials seek to offer effective rehabili - tapes to be mailed from an indi - tation services, through they are vidual to a prisoner. Usually they often thwarted by limited budgets must come directly from a pub - and severely overcrowded conditions. lisher. Sometimes materials can Nevertheless, their primary task is be delivered through a chaplain. CHAPTER 7 to keep order and to make sure that all prisoners are secure and controlled. p33 :: CHAPTeR 7 :: DeALING WITH THe sYsTeM CHAPTeR 7 :: DeALING WITH THe sYsTeM :: p34

• Hardback and leather-bound • To visit a prisoner in person, Tracking Down a Prisoner The prison records department books are generally forbidden. you generally must be on an As mentioned in the list above, can verify the presence of a prisoner. Cassette tapes are generally not “approved visitor” list. Visiting sometimes your pen pal may seem Many states have an “inmate allowed. In cases where they hours are limited and controlled. to “disappear.” There are many search” option on their Department are, they must be in transparent Do not expect to “drop by” to see reasons that your pen pal may of Corrections website so you can plastic casings (not translucent) your pen pal if you happen to be unreachable. find a prisoner who may have been and contain no metal screws. be in that location while on A prison facility that has moved. The Federal Bureau of vacation. Start early to get experienced disturbances may be in Prisons offers an inmate locator at • At special occasions such as permissions, and expect security “extended lockdown” status for weeks www.bop.gov/iloc2/LocateInmate.jsp. Christmas, prisoners may be to be tight if you are permitted a or even months at a time. Mail may permitted to receive one or two visit. You will need to remove all not move smoothly during those lock - Mail Frustrations pre-approved items. However, metal, carry with you no money downs, and prisoners may be trans - When a letter to a prisoner is returned written permission must be or jewelry, and have a photo ID ferred, which is hard to track. to sender for no apparent reason, the gained, and a price limit is often with you (such as a driver’s Prisoners are often moved to pen-pal volunteer should try at least set. For example, when one vol - license). You may be denied any another prison for a variety of reasons. one more time to resend it. Address unteer wanted to send athletic physical contact such as hand Within the prison system, the sudden and stamp a fresh envelope and give shoes to his pen pal, prison regu - shaking or hugging. Depending and seemingly capricious movement it a second try. lations dictated they could not on the facility’s security level, of prisoners is called “diesel therapy.” If your prisoner does not know cost more than $35. visits may be conducted by Administrations may have many specific mailroom guidelines for his phone through Plexiglas barriers. reasons for moving prisoners, but they institution, the prison might provide • Expect both incoming and You can find information include breaking up gangs or power them directly to you. Contact the outgoing mail to be opened and regarding a specific prison groups; transferring prisoners to a prison mailroom for a copy. read. Only mail labeled “legal on the state’s Department of different level of security as they near mail” and sent directly to a Corrections website or the release; and sending prisoners for prisoner’s attorney is likely to Federal Bureau of Prisons medical, psychiatric, or protective make it through unopened. website (www.bop.gov). custody reasons. There are usually ways to verify • Some prisons do not permit Prisoners will often complain information an inmate gives you or to sending unused postage stamps of unfair treatment and abuse by the track down a prisoner who has disap - to a prisoner. Others have a limit prison system. Some of this may be peared, if the situation warrants it. of five. Your prisoner should warranted and justified. Some of it Each state and the federal know the rules in his or her may be exaggerated or concocted to government has a central locator particular facility for receiving gain sympathy. Do not get drawn into office through its Department of Cor - stamps and other items. defending a prisoner or helping him rections. It can verify where a prisoner work for change in his institution. is located and his or her “track record” For the pen-pal volunteer, it is of offenses. In some cases, however, if generally unwise to get involved in a prisoner has both state and federal trying to “right the wrongs” a prisoner crimes, information may be hard to says he has suffered. If a situation track. The state and federal systems truly sounds unfair, you may wish don’t cross-reference information. to contact the facility's chaplain. CHAPTeR 8 :: uNDeRsTANDING PRIsoN LIFe :: p36

Stages of Incarceration Stage 4: DEPRESSION Prisoners, much like people with When it becomes clear that neither a terminal illness, typically go anger nor bargaining is working, through five emotional stages in depression often descends. their incarceration: denial, anger, Understanding bargaining, depression, and finally, One prisoner reports, Life acceptance. Often their behavior “When it hit me that I was really in Prison can be explained by which stage prison, and that I was going to be there they are in at the time. for a long time, I was pretty depressed. I wanted to sleep all the time. I wanted Stage 1: DENIAL to escape my pain.” Denial begins when a person enters prison. It generally lasts one to three At this stage prisoners begin to years for those sentenced to more than face the consequences of their past 10 years. Some short-termers are in actions and the current situation. They denial for their entire sentence. grieve the loss of freedom and the pain Those in denial find it hard to of separation from loved ones. Incar - believe they’re really in prison. They cerated mothers are devastated when focus on getting released. They tend they realize they won’t be with their to blame their situation on somebody children for many years. Depressed else. Some prisoners gradually work prisoners typically withdraw from their way out of this stage; others leave family and friends. it abruptly when faced with a crisis. Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE Stage 2: ANGER Ultimately, prisoners accept the fact When a prisoner can no longer deny that they are in prison for the long the situation, he or she often becomes haul. This makes some prisoners angry with everyone. Some join prison emotionally numb to everything and gangs during this stage. Some learn to everyone. Others go through a period play a game in which they gain slight of genuine soul-searching in which control over their lives by pretending they begin to accept responsibility for to do what guards want. their situation. Many show a sincere desire to change their lives. Stage 3: BARGAINING Painful problems, such as a family Because God did not answer their crisis or a move to a new facility, can angry demands, prisoners may resort trigger a return to earlier feelings. to asking God nicely for what they Prisoners must then work through the want, making promises to Him in emotional stages of incarceration again return. They attempt to “make deals” so that they don’t remain in denial, with God or other people. They prom - anger, or depression. ise they will mend their ways in ex - The pen pal should prayerfully CHAPTER 8 change for the favor(s) they seek. prepare each letter with sensitivity to what stage the prisoner may be in. p37 :: CHAPTeR 8 :: uNDeRsTANDING PRIsoN LIFe CHAPTeR 8 :: uNDeRsTANDING PRIsoN LIFe :: p38

No matter where they are, you can • Unresolved bias. Further Resources Born Again encourage prisoners to use time and Stereotypes along racial, There are several ways to better by Charles W. Colson energy to build themselves up in the denominational, economic, understand how prison systems work. (Fleming H. Revell, Lord and to develop hope and gender, and other lines can be One way is to become an in-prison 1976, 1995) a plan for the future. challenging to work through. volunteer yourself, if possible. The Some people (volunteers first step is to contact your local Prison Life Sentence A pen pal from Colorado wrote: included) may not want to Fellowship office to obtain information by Charles W. Colson “At long last Shawn has committed expend the effort necessary about volunteer opportunities, the (Fleming H. Revell, to the Lord. His terrible hate and anger to transcend these stereotypes. volunteer application procedure, 1979) are gone … He really loves reading his and volunteer training. Bible and has stopped complaining • Problems with mail delivery. It may also be helpful to involve Committing Journalism (that’s all he used to write). I’ve never A letter never arrives at its yourself with one or more ex-prisoners, by Dannie M. Martin and had anyone before that nearly caused destination because of mailroom or with the families of prisoners or Peter Y. Sussman me to pull my hair out. I even dreaded mistakes, multiple inmates with ex-prisoners. The “spouse and family (W. W. Norton & Co., seeing a letter from him in the mailbox. the same name, postal service at home” viewpoint can greatly sensi - 1993) Thanks be to God for His help and delays, or an illegible or incom - tize a pen pal to what a prisoner is strength to help me through.” plete address on the envelope. experiencing. Helping a Neighbor in Crisis Read prison publications. by Lisa Barnes Lampman, ed. This and similar letters • Court appearance. Perhaps your pen pal can send (Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., are powerful testimonies to the When an inmate leaves a you, or tell you how to subscribe 1997) strengthening and stabilizing factor facility for court hearings, his or to, a prisoner-produced newspaper a good pen pal can bring into a her mail will likely not be held, within his facility. (Not all prisons Daddy, Why Are troubled prisoner’s life. or it may be forwarded to the have them.) You Going to Jail? wrong facility. Read books about prison, by Stephen P. Lawson Why Do Prisoners such as the ones listed below. (Harold Shaw Publishers, Stop Writing? • Hospitalization. Not all of them are written from 1992) A surprising number of volunteers Similar to court appearance. a Christian perspective. But they report that after only a short time, all help explain and give insight Makes Me Wanna Holler the prisoner with whom they’ve been • Unit transfer. into the prison experience. Most by Nathan McCall corresponding no longer answers their Transfers occur within should be available through a local (Random House, letters. Prison Fellowship went directly the same facility or within bookstore or a public library. 1994) to prisoners to ask why, and here are the prison system. some of the answers: I Was Wrong After the Madness • Parole or release. by Jim Bakker by Sol Wachtler • Unreasonable expectations. (Thomas Nelson Publishers, (Random House, Many inmates expect a Because of these potential 1996) 1997) romantic or financial link. roadblocks, we recommend sending When this does not materialize, at least two letters before trying to 70 x 7 And Beyond they discontinue writing. locate your pen pal in another way. by Monty Christensen Remember, your faithful correspon - (Prison Impact Books, dence can make a world of 1987) difference to a prisoner. CHAPTeR 9 :: PRePARING FoR ReLeAse :: p40

Getting Prepared more), he will be given a tentative “out for the “Outside” date” some time before release. Often When a prisoner is within six months that date can be moved up if the pris - of release, he is referred to as a oner earns “gain time” or “good time,” “shortimer.” Most prisoners, especially which means obeying all the rules and Preparing if they have spent more than a year not having any disciplinary infractions. se incarcerated, are scared to death of Prisoners also know, however, that for Relea reentry into society. Sadly, most who other inmates may be “out to get them” were married at the time of incarcera - and may try to trap shortimers into get - tion have watched their marriage ting disciplinary infractions. They are disintegrate. When one partner goes baited into fights. They are set up to to prison, an estimated 85 percent look guilty for certain infractions. of marriages fail. So the prisoner nearing release Research has shown that ex- is a combination of (a) hopeful, prisoners who have the best chance of (b) very frightened, (c) paranoid “making it” are those who have a sup - about doing everything right, and portive family or church family waiting (d) apprehensive about what he or for them and available to help. she will face on the outside. But many prisoners have In the final stages of incarceration, “worn out their welcome” with family prisoners may be moved to lower- members. They have no support, no security work camps or even be given one waiting, and very little chance for daytime releases to ease them back success on the outside. Nationally, the into society. Many will be ordered to U.S. recidivism (reincarceration) rate spend six months or so in a transitional is more than 50 percent—that is, more housing facility (halfway house) before than half of the people released from returning to their families or neighbor - prison will go back inside again within hoods. Most prison systems, however, three years. neither provide nor make referrals to Not all of them return for commit - these facilities. It is usually up the ting new crimes, although many do. prisoner to find a facility and gain Some go back for “technical violations” entrance for him- or herself. of the terms of parole. These may include reporting late to a parole office The Traumas of Transition or missing a report date, not having In spite of the excitement of release paperwork in order, not complying when the day finally arrives, many with parole restrictions for employment prisoners have a hard time adjusting. or travel, or a number of other reasons. Their movements have been absolutely But the statistics are grim. Not controlled for years. They have not many people come out and stay out. driven vehicles. They have not made Prisoners know that. They see ex- choices. They have not had to exercise prisoners come back again and again. any discipline about when to get up, CHAPTER 9 If your prisoner pen pal has had a rea - when to eat, or how to spend money. sonably long sentence (several years or p41 :: CHAPTeR 9 :: PRePARING FoR ReLeAse CHAPTeR 9 :: PRePARING FoR ReLeAse :: p42

Ex-prisoners often tell of the Help Is Available of the country and find local listings quickly consumed with the tasks of panic they feel when confronted with Thankfully, there are several avenues of organizations and churches that keeping daily life together. They must all the choices on a restaurant menu of help, and the pen-pal volunteer can offer various services for transitional earn a living, find housing, find trans - or on the shelves at a supermarket. help connect the shortimer with these prisoners, such as housing, clothing, portation, and reestablish relationships Technology has moved on while resources. Eight months to a year counseling, parenting resources, and a daily schedule. Despite good they were incarcerated. They may not before release is not too early to begin. employment services, and so on. intentions, many are simply no longer know how to use an ATM or a gas pump But certainly when release is six You can access this directory at able to devote the time needed for where you pay by credit card at the pump. months away, transition planning www.prisonfellowship.org. Click on faithful correspondence. One ex-prisoner was sure there should be in full swing. “Resources” and then “Prisoners.” You, on the other hand, can con - was a problem with the tires on his A first step is to obtain a valuable You can also find the directory at tinue to let your pen pal know he or she wife’s car. They made a strange noise. book entitled Shortimer , published by www.restorativejusticecommunity.org. is loved and cared for by an occasional Radial tires had been invented while he Prison Fellowship. You may download letter or phone call, or perhaps a holiday was in prison, and he knew nothing a copy at www.prisonfellowship.org The Church Connection or birthday card. Many such relation - about them. (click on “Resources” and then “Pris - A caring local church can be one ships continue minimally for many years Very few prisoners have access to oners.”) Categories include housing, of the best sources of help for an after the prisoners' release. computers. So word processing, spread- employment, financial planning, beat - exiting prisoner. Allen, the ex-prisoner referred to sheets, the Internet, e-mail, Web pages, ing addictions, and parting advice. The local Prison Fellowship office in Chapter 4 who had a pen pal rela - and related computer skills can be for - There is a helpful prerelease checklist. may be able to refer to churches known tionship with Bonnie, comments on the eign and frightening. But prisoners are The booklet tells the prisoner how for being supportive of ex-prisoners. importance of Christian support. aware of how necessary computer to take advantage of special, available The pen-pal volunteer may want to skills are to compete in the job market. options, such as the Federal Bonding work through his or her own denomi - He says: Think of the panic they might feel! Program and the Work Opportunity national headquarters to locate a sister “Every prisoner who gets out Often they have nowhere to go Tax Credit Program. church in the area where the prisoner that doesn’t have a Christian except back to old neighborhoods The local Prison Fellowship will be released. You might make program to lean on will go back where they are faced with the same office may also be able to help connect a contact to prepare the way for to the same town, the same temptations as before (drugs, alcohol, exiting prisoners with social services a receptive welcome. friends—or so-called friends— prostitution). Their only companions and church families in the immediate For those who use the Internet, and will get into the same old may be the criminal element they hung area of release. Often short-term or there are a number of ways of finding stuff. They need Christian support out with before prison, who are often transitional housing is available, and help. There are “church locator” web - on the outside. eager to welcome them back into the local PF staff are likely to know of sites—such as www.usachurch.com, fold. “You’re out of prison—let’s cele - good halfway houses and Christian which helps to find churches of many “ There is no better time for a brate with a few beers!” “Need some rehabilitation centers. different denominations. person to start getting their spiritual cash? How about one little drug deal?” The local Prison Fellowship office life right. I’ve found that the more Old friends and old haunts usually may also conduct marriage enrichment Will Correspondence Continue? down and out I am, the more prove to be unhealthy influences. seminars or facilitate support groups Will your prisoner pen pal continue to I rely on God. It’s the perfect time Job hunting is a terrible for ex-prisoners or their families. write and stay in touch after release? in a guy’s life to get his attention. problem. How do ex-prisoners You can find a local Prison Not likely—at least not with the inten - There are too many distractions explain a multiyear “gap” on their Fellowship office on the PF website sity of the prison correspondence. on the outside.” résumé? They shouldn’t lie about or by calling 1-800-251-7411. Some prisoners want to break ties where they have been. But will The National Resource Directory with anything, or anyone, connected You, like Bonnie, may find the joy identifying themselves as ex-felons provides an extensive list of resources to their prison time. Others may have of introducing a prisoner to a lifelong automatically eliminate them from available through Restorative Justice good intentions to continue writing, relationship with Christ. There can be consideration? It often does. Community. You can target any area but like all of us, ex-prisoners are no greater joy in faithful service. APPeNDIx :: LIkes AND DIsLIkes :: p44

What do prisoners like LIKES to read in a pen pal’s letters? • Tell me how you felt about What do they dislike? what you saw or why you did To answer these questions, what you did. Don’t just tell we went to the experts—prisoners me what you saw or did. Likes themselves. Here are their summary es comments, gleaned from a question - • Educational background, and Dislik naire, and some individual and race, where you live. telephone responses. Note that they contain conflicting • What you find interesting advice. Some prisoners like to hear about the Bible. about your vacation trips—others don’t. It makes them envious. This • End your letter with is not a hard-and-fast list of do’s and a Bible verse you think don’ts. It’s only a summary of what I might want to hear. some prisoners say they like and dislike in pen pal correspondence. • Let us know about the job market out there.

• Your birthday, so I can send a card.

• Tell me about your church activities.

• I like to hear where you came from—what kind of influence your parents were, and perhaps even ancestors further back. What kind of role models did you have? How did you get introduced to Jesus?

• What kind of adversities have you faced, and how did you develop the faith to overcome? APPENDIX p45 :: APPeNDIx :: LIkes AND DIsLIkes APPeNDIx :: LIkes AND DIsLIkes :: p46

• Any information about sports • Positive information. • Give feedback to letters. I can • Answer my questions, events that are happening or Anything that gives a person hardly stand it when I write even if the answer is have already happened. strength and hope. someone telling them about how “None of your business!” I feel or think about something, • What magazines do • I want to stay in tune and when they write back, it’s • Be positive and assuring. you like to read? with the heartbeat of society. like I never said it. That isn’t a We see negativism and friend, if you were to ask me. oppression daily. We need • How can you be forgiven? • Tell a little about what is going motivation and encouragement. How can you keep the faith? on out in the world. Many of us • Tell us what’s going on out Don’t be afraid to say, “I love have not been out in the world there—price changes, weather, you.” We don’t hear that often. • We like to hear about good for quite some time and we are styles, new cars, etc. All we Offer genuine friendship. stuff that is happening on the interested in keeping up with have in here are dreams, and outside that can help or benefit what is going on. it helps to put a picture in our • If you’re planning to people in here. mind and keeps us up to date conclude the pen-pal • The day-to-day goings of life. for when we do get out. relationship, it would be • If someone in your family had What are your views, dreams, a great kindness (fruit of the a baby, tell your pen pal about and fears of daily life? Funny • Don’t back out on us when the Holy Spirit) to write a parting it and send a picture. Nothing insights the writer has to going gets rough. If you don’t letter. That way communication brightens up a day like a picture convey. Most of all—honesty. get a reply, drop another line is complete. The inmate isn’t of a beautiful little baby. and say, “Hey, are you doing all left wondering if he may have • Love us unconditionally. right? I haven’t heard from you done something to offend. • I like to hear that somebody in a while and kinda missed you.” We’ve generally alienated so out there will be in my corner • Help push me in my search for many people in the past that through “thick and thin.” the truth. And maybe even help • Healthy contact with outsiders we can be overly sensitive me with the way I do things. keeps inmates aware that life about personal relationships. • Everyone faces problems. is bigger than just us and our We have too much time Tell me yours, and ask me • Information that will uplift the problems. To that end, an honest to think about things. to pray for them. Ask me spirit. Something that would take sharing of problems and joys by about my problems so you a person’s mind off of prison life, outside friends is helpful. • We need someone who really can pray for me. such as vacations you have gone knows God and who is not on or other activities that you do. scared to share that information.

• Ask me what my plans are for when I’m released. I seriously haven’t thought about it. But if I was asked, I might. p47 :: APPeNDIx :: LIkes AND DIsLIkes APPeNDIx :: LIkes AND DIsLIkes :: p48

DISLIKES • I don’t want to hear about • We don’t need pen pals • Don’t ask specific (offensive) killings or murders. I do not who look down on us. questions concerning need to hear about your and guilt or innocence. family problems. • It’s easy for us to find someone to preach to us. • Don’t tell me how • Personal problems and It’s harder to find a friend. lonely you are. depressing stuff like that! • Negative talk. No sex • Don’t tell me about • Don’t condemn me for criminal or filthy words. Talk clean. past bad relationships. acts. Inmates generally want to put their past lives behind them • I do not want to hear how the • “Sorry, I won’t be writing and start anew. I would not writer could have been in the to you any more!” dwell too long on the inmate’s same position as the inmate, criminal past. if not for the grace of God. • Don’t photocopy letters if you write more than one pen pal. It • I don’t want to hear criticism • I don’t want to hear that God makes me wonder if you really of the religion I practice. can’t change your life. want to write in the first place. • Most of the guys I know • I don’t want to hear that I’m a • I don’t want to hear don’t want someone putting condemned person. I have been believers complain. their problems on us. We forgiven through Jesus’ blood. have our own! We want to • I had someone send me a get a letter that will put a • We don’t want to hear how letter talking about how they smile on our faces. you voted for a new law making had spent a month in Europe it harder on crimes and prison. and then two weeks cruising Everyone in here usually holds the Caribbean. I didn’t react a grudge toward the laws that well to it. I got angry and put them in here. jealous and wrote a nasty letter. Afterwards, I felt like • As a convict, I do not like a jerk and I repented and for a person to pry into my they forgave me. past crimes, no matter how interesting this may seem.

• Negative criticism. I need competent enlightenment; not cruel indifference.