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Home , Bret Hedican, Jack Skille, James Wisniewski, Kent Huskins, Mathieu Schneider, Mike Commodore

$3 We Ride A Tank, Hold A General’s Rank $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com March 3rd, 2009 [email protected] DUCK SEASON! First off, we should mention that we uncertainty about the cap in the following Last time we saw the Ducks invade the shores send these off to the printer the night before seasons, it could be a very tame deadline. of Lake Michigan, we labeled them a one- the game, so if any trade activity takes place To boot, the Hawks have no cap room. Only line team. That’s still pretty much the case, today before the game, we’ll miss it. Sorry. moving Buff, Barker, Havlat or Khabby will as and still do their The perils of the printed page, no? create any sort of space to add a valuable Hawk-and-Animal-Legion-of-Doom act. But There isn’t much to say about piece. The last two are a no-go, and the other there is, finally, some secondary scoring with Sunday afternoon’s win (insert saying cop- two’s values are questionable at best. We’re rookie badass Bobby Ryan playing with the out here). It wasn’t the best Hawks effort, guessing the name coming to town will most Finished Flash Teemu Selanne and out-of-no- it wasn’t the worst. It was just enough, likely not tease your hockey-fan penis towards where-and-very-likely-to-return-to-nowhere Goldilocks (who’s probably waiting at Bur- engorgement. center Andrew Ebbett. 26-year old rookies ish’s apartment right now). We are, however, We’re Shoving Right Off, We’re never convince us of much (yes Cubs fans, we going to take the opportunity to pull a muscle Shoving Right Off....Again? don’t buy Micah Hoffpauir, either). patting ourselves on the back. We called for But of course, the Achilles’ Heal of By the time you read this, there’s no Bolland to get on the second PP unit a little Anaheim is their fascination with the telling who will be suiting up for tonight’s op- ways back, and -- even though he was only on box. Must be some hot season ticket holder ponent, the . Even if they do it because it was the end of the game and Q by the boxes in the Honda Center, because suit up the full team, several could be playing was looking for more defensive responsibility the Ducks can’t stay out of there. Instead of their last time in their awful orange, yellow, to protect a lead --Bolland notched a power trying to discipline their game, the Ducks have and black. Pronger, Pahlsson, Montador, play to ice the game. Does one goal re- chosen instead to just bitch about it and take Brendan Morrison, , and others ally indicate a trend? No. Is it enough for us more penalties. They lead in PIM’s by almost could all have new addresses come tomorrow. to fellate ourselves? Sure is. Let’s try it again, 100. Part of that is their disposition, and What that tells you is that this season Q. part of that is that they can be skated around. has gone off the rails for the Ducks. They Constantly being a man-short doesn’t leave The Winds Begin To Howl are still in the playoff picture -- barely -- but much of a window to score for yourself, even Obviously, the trade deadline over- have played more games than anyone else. less so when you’re short on scoring depth. shadows tonight’s game. What scares us is Either way, no one believes this is a team The biggest problem for the Ducks, that none of the names we’ve heard possibly headed anywhere glorious. The causes are though, has been an injury riddled defensive in discussion by the Hawks sets our soul on numerous. No scoring depth at all, shaky play corps. Beuachemin and Huskins have missed fire (you know what does set our soul on fire? along the blue line, but one big problem has significant time, and along with the cap ca- “Out On The Tiles”). Nik Antropov is a big, been a dodgy season from J.S. Giguere. Giggy sualty of , causing Pronger lumbering doofus. If you’re a big body and has had myriad personal problems, this year, and Niedermayer to log even more ice time Brian Burke doesn’t want you, then some- which we’ll refrain from making fun of (yes, -- which is akin to asking a 70-year old man thing’s up. And, he’s been so bad at face-offs we’re capable of doing that). Whatever it is, a to fuck more than once a month. He, and they he doesn’t even take them. Michael Nylander GAA of 3.13 is pretty porous. just ain’t up to it. -Mike Royko was talked about earlier in the year, but that age and that contract just don’t make it a sensible option. There was brief buzz about , which would have been a great move....five years ago. Now, he’s overpaid and slowing down. ? A bigger, more expensive version of Dave Bolland, and he might not have the skill Bolls does either. So what does work for us? Well, tonight’s opponent contains one Sammy Pahlsson. Though he’s slightly overrated as a defensive center, he is great at the dot and has a few demon playoff-performances on his resume. Al Cimiglia on Hockeybuzz.com has been calling for Dominic Moore, another good face-off guy who’s amassed 40 points playing with some real drech in T.O. Not the worst idea. The Hawks have been linked to some steady, veteran d-men as well. But none of those names are going to create headlines, though they would help. Basically, we have no idea. We get the sneaking suspicion there’s going to be a move we haven’t heard word one about, which could be good or bad. And with the massive “What’s this about an economic crisis?” The Visitor’s Locker Room Three Reasons Hockey Is The Best Sport In A Recession

3. Retro TV Production: Are you concerned about the pending move 1. Non-Corperal Team Names: Official jerseys --like beer-- are a ripoff to all-digital broadcasting, and that your TV isn’t expensive enough for in every sport, which means if you want to wear a jersey that supports your the new picture? Well, watch that fear melt away after viewing your first team but doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, you need to buy non-licensed gear hockey game on “VS.”, a startup network that can barely afford decent suits and no sport makes that easier than hockey. Most hockey teams are named for their announcers let alone HD transmitors. “VS.” is what would happen after an abstract, non-material entity that could be drawn however you like. if you made VH1 cover sports. They combine everything from bull riding, It’s usually easier to picture the name of a random indie rock band than a to hockey, to old James Caan movies. The live games hockey team. The could be any look like they were filmed on a parent’s personal cam- thing from an owl, to a cricket, to a lion or even a corder and all of the hockey announcers on “VS.” are virus. We used to assume the dressed in poorly-fitting loan shark suits. By the end were named after a race of hornets we never heard of, of the first period, you will be convinced your TV has but, it turns out, it just means “blue shirt”. Do you another ten years in it. know how cheap a blue shirt is?! Making your own 2. Fans Stick Together: If you’re like us, you are Baltimore Ravens jersey will get you laughed-out of trying cut costs everywhere, but quitting sports is not a bar, but there isn’t a person alive who can honestly an option, and quitting drinking at sports games is say he knows what a Thrasher looks like. You can even less of an option. Beer is a ripoff at all stadium draw, print and wear your own events (hockey / baseball / the circus- it doesn’t matter) jersey for less than $10, without ever getting a second which means, if you want a cheap drink in these lean glance. times, you need to get old school. You need to start C.J. Sullivan & drinking out of a flask. Which means you need to be Sean Flannery C.J. and Sean form Visitors Locker Room, which is around people that can keep a secret. If you pull out a sports comedy podcast, based out of Chicago. The a flask at a NBA game, where every fan around you is show mocks the over-the-top nature of modern sports trying to close a pharmacudecal sale, you will be ejected within 10 seconds. media. The show can be found at: Worst case scenerio at a hockey game: you are just asked to pass the bottle visitorslockerroom.com around. Hockey fans stick together, leaving it as the last sport where you broadcasted live, Tues - Fri (3 PM) can still get old school, gin-out-of-the-bathtub drunk (NOTE: this argument The Visitors Locker Room: “where the comedians act like sportscasters, applies equally well to smoking). not the other way around”. NHL STANDINGS *late game not included

Eastern Conference Western Conference

W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY 1 Boston 42 12 9 93 215 142 21-4-5 21-8-4 1 San Jose 42 10 9 93 205 148 26-2-3 16-8-6 2 New Jersey 41 19 3 85 196 153 22-10-1 19-9-2 2 Scum 41 14 8 90 234 187 24-4-3 17-10-5 3 Washington 40 19 5 85 213 188 25-7-1 15-12-4 3 Calgary 37 19 6 80 201 183 22-8-4 15-11-2 4 Philadelphia 33 18 10 76 198 178 18-8-4 15-10-6 4 HAWKS 35 17 9 79 205 155 16-5-6 19-12-3 5 34 22 7 75 194 189 20-6-4 14-16-3 5 32 22 8 72 186 175 16-11-4 16-11-4 6 Florida 32 23 8 72 177 175 17-8-5 15-15-3 6 Columbus 31 26 6 68 168 176 19-10-2 12-16-4 7 NY Rangers 32 24 8 72 159 175 19-10-4 13-14-4 7 31 26 5 67 173 188 15-12-4 16-14-1 8 Pittsburgh 32 26 6 70 195 196 17-12-2 15-14-4 8 Anaheim 31 28 5 67 180 188 15-13-3 16-15-2 9 Buffalo 31 25 7 69 182 175 17-12-2 14-13-5 9 Nashville 31 28 4 66 159 172 19-11-2 12-17-2 10 Carolina 32 27 5 69 169 186 17-13-1 15-14-4 10 Minnesota 30 26 5 65 155 144 18-11-5 12-15-0 11 Toronto 25 26 12 62 191 227 11-11-8 14-15-4 11 Dallas 29 26 7 65 179 191 17-12-4 12-14-3 12 Ottawa 23 28 10 56 152 176 13-11-6 10-17-4 12 St. Louis 28 26 8 64 173 181 16-11-5 12-15-3 13 Tampa Bay 21 30 12 54 164 204 11-12-8 10-18-4 13 Los Angeles 26 27 9 61 160 179 13-13-8 13-14-1 14 Atlanta 23 34 6 52 188 221 11-17-2 12-17-4 14 Phoenix 27 31 5 59 159 193 17-13-2 10-18-3 15 NY Islanders 20 36 7 47 154 206 14-13-5 6-23-2 15 Colorado 28 35 1 57 171 204 17-14-0 11-21-1

TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP - D, Anaheim: With Top 10 Things We’d Like To See Traded Away Before the Ducks not looking likely for the , and The Deadline quickly done there if they 10. Dustin Byfuglien do make it, this could be 9. Dustin Byfuglien Niedermayer’s last visit to 8. Dustin Byfuglien the UC. There’s some talk 7. Dustin Byfuglien that he may play one more season so he can play for 6. Any asshole in the 100 Level who can’t figure out to cheer during Canada in the Olympics in the anthem his hometown of Vancouver. Either way, this 5. Dustin Byfuglien is a once-in-a-lifetime talent. Niedermayer 4. Dustin Byfuglien spent most of his career in the Eastern Confer- 3. Barry Rozner ence, so we haven’t had too many chances to see him here. Other than Lindstrom, it’s hard 2. Dustin Byfuglien to think of a d-man who was so good in both 1. Old Man Byfuglien’s Boy ends of the ice. Look at his stats with the Dev- ils, the consistency is outrageous. Enjoy your last viewing tonight, if it is. 35-17-9

Bolland went 11-5 on face-offs on Sunday. We really need this to be the be-

Mike Green, who probably will soon. in points. Everyone else on those lists makes at least $6 million, except for Make what you want of Soupy, but he’s 4th amongst d-men in assists and 9th ginning of a turnaround for him in that area, instead of the false dawns other good performances in the circle have been. # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit) 88 R Patrick Kane 5'10" 187 20 59 20 36 56 2 38 10 0 3 182 11 $3,725,000 24 R The Perfect Beard 6'2" 217 27 61 20 35 55 20 22 5 0 3 186 10.8 $6,000,000 19 C Marvel 6'2" 209 20 61 26 27 53 13 41 9 0 6 155 16.8 $2,800,000 32 L VerStud 5'10" 180 22 58 16 28 44 14 49 4 4 2 95 16.8 $491,667 51 D 51 Phantom 6'0" 188 29 61 7 35 42 8 18 4 0 1 83 8.4 $7,142,875 36 C Dave Bolland 6'0" 188 22 61 15 23 38 21 36 1 2 4 86 17.4 $845,833 10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6'1" 197 27 54 23 15 38 2 39 8 0 4 163 14.1 $3,900,000 16 L Nails 6'2" 198 23 61 10 26 36 24 22 0 0 1 147 6.8 $1,550,000 2 D Duncan Keith 6'1" 194 25 57 8 25 33 31 38 2 1 1 117 6.8 $1,475,000 25 D 6'3" 213 22 48 4 26 30 -3 49 4 0 1 63 6.3 $2,768,587 33 R Dustin Byfuglien 6'3" 247 23 56 11 12 23 0 66 3 0 3 149 7.4 $3,000,000 22 R Troy Brouwer 6'2" 213 23 52 8 14 22 14 46 3 1 0 100 8 $675,000 7 D 6'3" 220 23 61 5 11 16 20 47 2 1 0 101 5 $3,500,000 46 C Colin Fraser 6'1" 188 23 61 5 10 15 7 46 0 0 0 45 11.1 $500,000 55 L Ben Eager 6'2" 220 24 57 10 4 14 8 121 0 0 0 61 16.4 $568,000 43 D James Wisniewski 6'0" 207 24 30 2 11 13 7 14 1 0 0 68 2.9 $900,000 8 D Matt Walker 6'3" 214 28 49 1 10 11 15 62 0 0 0 63 1.6 $600,000 37 R Adam Burish 6'1" 189 26 45 5 3 8 7 69 0 0 2 65 7.7 $712,500 23 D Aaron Johnson 6'1" 211 25 28 3 5 8 18 24 0 0 1 20 15 $600,000 28 R Craig Adams 6'0" 197 31 36 2 4 6 -3 22 1 0 0 38 5.3 $600,000 5 D Brent Sopel 6'1" 211 32 23 1 1 2 -4 8 0 0 1 15 6.7 $2,333,333 11 R Jack Skille 6'1" 208 21 8 1 0 1 -3 5 0 0 0 14 7.1 $1,275,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 203.75 24.38 203 361 886 57 9 35.7/g 10.05% $44,119,795

*injured Skille has had a rough time in his two games, but we’re going to reserve judgement until he plays with a real live center, which is hopefully coming Wednesday. # Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 39 Nikolai Khabibulin 6'1" 209 36 29 1673 2.37 17 5 5 1 870 66 0.924 0 2 6 $6,750,000 38 6'1" 205 33 33 1884 2.32 17 12 3 3 863 73 0.915 0 0 2 $5,625,000 31 Antii Niemi 6’2” 204 25 2 82 2.2 1 0 1 0 30 3 0.900 0 0 0 $488,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 34 3597 2.39 34 17 8 4 1755 143 0.918 0 2 8 $12,375,000

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,283,000 CAP SPACE: $274,000* Probable Lines Probable Pairings *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing 2 Keith 7 Seabrook 22 Brouwer 19 Toews 88 Kane 51 Campbell 8 Walker Injury List Brent Sopel- Out (Talent) 43 Wisniewski 25 Barker 16 Ladd 36 Bolland 24 Havlat - Out (Knee) 33 Byfuglien 32 Versteeg 11 Skille Nikolai Khabibulin-Questionable (groin?) 37 Burish 46 Fraser 55 Eager

16 years ago, David Stern sent me to ruin the NHL. I have done every- thing I can think of to drive the core I am so close to completing the task fan away, strip hockey of all that’s Stern charged me with.... great about it, and eliminate any at- tention by the mainstream media... MUScular WaterFowl 31-28-5

We mentioned that Nieds may hang on for one more year to play in the Olympics, but you wonder if a 36-year old would warrant a spot. Duncan Keith, Shea Weber, and Dion Phaneuf all are locks. , Mike Green, , and the grievously underrated Dennis Wideman can also make a case. # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit) 15 C Ryan Getzlaf 6' 4" 221 23 63 20 50 70 4 93 6 0 2 185 10.8 $5,325,000 10 R Corey Perry 6' 3" 209 23 60 22 32 54 7 87 7 0 6 218 10.1 $5,325,000 27 D Scott Niedermayer 6' 1" 195 35 64 9 34 43 -12 60 7 0 1 144 6.3 $6,750,000 54 R Bobby Ryan 6' 2" 208 21 46 21 20 41 10 22 8 0 2 117 17.9 $1,921,667 8 R Teemu Selanne 6' 0" 200 38 47 20 19 39 -4 18 14 0 4 139 14.4 $2,625,000 25 D 6' 6" 214 34 64 10 27 37 -1 72 3 0 2 156 6.4 $6,250,000 7 C Brendan Morrison 5' 11" 181 33 61 10 12 22 0 14 1 0 2 80 12.5 $2,750,000 48 C Andrew Ebbett 5' 9" 175 26 30 4 17 21 5 4 3 0 0 60 6.7 $289,000 5 D 6' 0" 210 28 64 4 16 20 15 123 0 0 0 100 4 $800,000 44 C 6' 2" 201 33 61 11 5 16 -16 32 0 1 1 66 16.7 $2,000,000 26 C Samuel Pahlsson 6' 0" 204 30 52 5 10 15 -16 32 1 0 1 74 6.8 $1,400,000 19 D Ryan Whitney 6' 4" 219 26 30 2 11 13 -14 16 1 0 0 43 4.7 $989,000 22 C Todd Marchant 5' 10" 182 35 54 3 8 11 -6 22 0 1 0 64 4.7 $2,517,500 32 L Travis Moen 6' 2" 216 26 62 4 7 11 -17 77 0 2 1 75 5.3 $912,500 16 R George Parros 6' 5" 231 28 56 4 5 9 7 103 0 0 0 35 11.4 $550,000 20 C Ryan Carter 6' 2" 202 25 44 3 6 9 3 52 0 0 1 39 7.7 $625,000 40 D Kent Huskins 6' 4" 205 29 33 2 4 6 6 27 0 0 0 20 10 $625,000 3 D Bret Hedican 6' 2" 210 38 51 1 5 6 -7 36 0 0 0 40 2.5 $870,500 23 D Francois Beauchemin 6' 0" 207 28 18 4 1 5 -4 12 0 0 2 43 9.3 $1,650,000 18 L Drew Miller 6' 2" 165 25 14 0 5 5 -1 13 0 0 0 26 0 $212,000 13 R Mike Brown 6' 0" 210 23 30 1 1 2 -6 119 0 0 1 15 6.7 $191,000 21 D Sheldon Brookbank 6' 2" 215 28 26 0 1 1 1 51 0 0 0 17 0 $195,000 60 D Brendan Mikkelson 6' 2" 180 21 21 0 1 1 -5 15 0 0 0 11 0 $389,000 Totals/Averages 6’ 2” 202.6 28.5 177 297 1136 53 4 29.7/g 9.3% $51,062,000

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 35 J.S. Giguere 6' 1" 201 31 40 2164 3.13 17 16 4 2 1149 113 0.902 0 0 4 $6,000,000 1 Jonas Hiller 6' 2" 193 26 32 1677 2.33 14 12 1 4 810 65 0.920 0 0 0 $1,300,000 Totals/Averages 6' 1" 197 28.5 3841 2.91 31 28 5 6 1959 178 0.909 0 0 4 $7,300,000

Ducks fans can use whatever excuse they want, but Giggy has just not been up to it. He’s lost He’s it. to up been not just has Giggy but want, they excuse whatever use can fans Ducks in that time. the Isle Atlanta and 7 of his last 12 starts, and been beaten by Hiller has gotten every start against the Hawks this year, and though TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $58,381,000 ** injured he’s lost the last 2, he still holds a .932 SV% and 2.02 GAA against us. CAP SPACE: $726,000* Probable Lines Probable Pairings *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing 25 Pronger 19 Whitney Injury List 18 Miller 15 Getzlaf 10 Perry 27 Niedermayer 5 Montador Kent Huskins-Out (Foot) Francois Beauchemin-Out (Knee) 54 Ryan 48 Ebbet 8 Selanne 60 Mikkelson 21 Brookbank Samuel Pahlsson-Out (Virus) 22 Marchant 7 Morrison 13 Brown 32 Moen 44 Niedermayer 16 Parros

...IS THIS THE YEAR? The Worst Hawks Trades of Recent History With the trade deadline tomorrow, we thought it might be a good time to review some of the missteps of our beloved organ-i-zation, and remember the hell we’ve escaped. Make sure you’re ready for this.

Brian McCabe for

Much like the NASCAR season, we’ll start with the biggest bang. Or thud, as the case may be. Though McCabe only showed limited promise as a Hawk, he was still miles better than the useless slob that was Karpovtsev. When he wasn’t faking injuries, he skated around like a man who just had his car stolen, bewildered and lost. The only thing to come of the Karpovtsev era was Foley’s famous rant when he was finally moved on. Go to Blackhawkzone.com to hear it if you haven’t. McCabe has since gone on to register four 40+ points from the blue line, and will add a fifth this year.

Ed Belfour for Chris Terreri, Ulf Dahlen, and Michal Sykora

The backstop to the great Hawks’ teams of the early 90’s, eventually the time came when Eddie the Eagle wanted to, y’know, get paid like the goalie he was. Of course, in Wirtz’s world, that meant it was time to hit the exit door. Pulford pulled what can only be described as a steam- ing pile of feces for on the the league’s top goalies. Terreri was the very definition of “a guy”, Ulf Dahlen was old and useless when he broke into the league, and even more so when he got here, and Michal Sykora is probably sleeping on his brother Petr’s couch, eating all the cook- ies, playing video games all day, and not putting on pants until 3pm. Eddie went on to lift some big silver thing over his head a couple years later in Dallas, something we don’t do around here.

Dominik Hasek for Christian Ruuttu

There was a time to trade Belfour, and it was probably when wanted to flog him as part of a deal for Eric Lindros. That fell through, and after a Finals appearance Eddie was considered irreplaceable. So off went his backup, Dominik Hasek, in a three-way deal that landed him in Buffalo and Christian Ruuttu here. Ruuttu managed 28 goals in 158 games as a Hawk, and some pretty soft play. Hasek? Only managed six Vezina Trophies. So that went well...

Jeremy Roenick for Alex Zhamnov

The trade that ruined both sides. JR was the heart and soul of not just the team, but the fans as well. Sure, he did more than enough belly- aching about his contract to earn his ticket out of town, but the Hawks could have, and should have, gotten over it. So should have Roenick, because he let his career slide after that, only scoring more than 30 goals once after the trade. However, what the Hawks got in return wasn’t any better, and probably a whole lot worse. When Zhamnov wasn’t busy crashing in to suburban mailboxes or cars or throwing up in an alley, he was floating around the ice in a way that would make Dustin Byfuglien embarrassed. The Hawks have played a total of 11 playoff games in the 11 seasons since JR was shipped out. Absolutely shameful. The Fight Card HAWKS vs. DUCKS Fight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Black Bruised Just Analysis Nose Eye Ego Dancing 1-28-09 Walker v. 1st. Parros in very manly fashion takes a run at Parros II 5:25 Campbell, and Walks defends his partner √ well. Lands a few right, takes it on points. 11-28-08 Walker v. 2nd. Slob of Anaheim mugs Walker at blue-line. Parros I 11:28 Walker lands a few nice shots early then able √ to hang on for dear life. 3-5-08 Wiz v. 1st. Wiz lands all the shots as he wins this in a O’Donnell 19:12 √ √ unanimous decision. 3-5-08 Eager v. 1st. Mustached Douchebag Parros assaults Parros, sort 19:12 Eager in the corner for the crime of touching √ Douchebag Pronger, who clearly needs pro- of tection. God we hate the fucking Ducks.

What To Watch For: Oh, you’ll get one tonight. This is what the Ducks do, after all. They lead the league in passionate dis- cussions. We may see Walker vs. Parros III, and with the Ducks having added desperation to their game -- scraping a playoff berth, after all -- they’ll be even nastier than usual. And Parros is the one Duck who hasn’t been mentioned in a trade rumor. Power Play Penalty Kill Team Opp PPG PP% Team OPP PPG PP% Team TS PPGA PK% Team TS PPGA PK% DET 277 76 27.4 VAN 271 51 18.8 MIN 222 27 87.8 CBJ 261 49 81.2 WSH 267 66 24.7 OTT 251 47 18.7 NYR 254 32 87.4 CHI 259 50 80.7 SJS 274 67 24.4 MTL 286 53 18.5 CGY 272 39 85.7 PIT 264 53 79.9 BOS 245 56 22.9 TBL 270 47 17.4 NSH 276 44 84.1 ANA 312 63 79.8 PHI 236 52 22 EDM 281 47 16.7 BUF 252 41 83.7 DAL 239 49 79.5 ANA 242 53 21.9 NYI 252 42 16.7 SJS 238 40 83.2 VAN 282 58 79.4 CHI 269 57 21.2 COL 260 43 16.5 BOS 231 39 83.1 WSH 315 65 79.4 STL 262 55 21 DAL 269 44 16.4 PHI 307 52 83.1 COL 247 51 79.4 BUF 279 58 20.8 PIT 277 45 16.2 STL 274 47 82.8 TBL 309 64 79.3 MIN 252 52 20.6 CAR 292 46 15.8 MTL 284 49 82.8 CAR 236 49 79.2 ATL 255 51 20 FLA 243 38 15.6 FLA 250 44 82.4 PHX 229 50 78.2 LAK 280 56 20 PHX 262 37 14.1 NYI 271 48 82.3 EDM 266 60 77.4 TOR 259 51 19.7 NYR 265 37 14 NJD 247 44 82.2 DET 261 59 77.4 NJD 230 45 19.6 NSH 252 35 13.9 LAK 271 49 81.9 TOR 239 60 74.9 CGY 273 52 19 CBJ 268 33 12.3 OTT 260 48 81.5 ATL 271 69 74.5 Spotlight Bobby Ryan

The one gift that Brian Burke left the Ducks. Ryan has had the burden of “Dude-picked-after-” for his entire career. After waiting for Ryan to straighten his head and body out, and then waiting for Brian Burke to remember how to count and find cap space, Ducks fans are finding out why he was chosen there. Southern California might have been the worst place for Bobby to end up, containing Beach as it does and Bobby’s former desire to reenact Schwarzeneg- ger’s part in Pumping Iron (it’s like Bobby’s cumming all day!) Burke described Ryan as “doing curls for girls,” which didn’t leave him in any hockey shape whatsoever. Finally, this offseason, Ryan dedicated himself to getting in hockey shape. The results are for everyone to see. If it wasn’t for Steve Mason’s heroics in Columbus, this would probably be your leading Calder Trophy candidate. Ryan has 21 goals in just 46 games, as he was banished to Iowa for the first 18 games of the season while Burke had Tallon-like fun with numbers and couldn’t find the cap space for him. Since he arrived in Orange County, he’s proven to be yet another behemoth forward with a killer sense for the net. He also might have the best hands on the Ducks. It is he, Getzlaf, Perry, and Whitney who will form the next generation of Ducks, and you can look for Ryan on Team USA next winter in Vancouver. The Committed Indian is printed by Royal Omega Graphics- Elk Grove, IL 847-952-8000 [email protected] KNOW THY ENEMY

Once again, because she rules, Sara from Girl With A Puck (girlwithapuck.blog- turning out to be a great team player. I don’t think anything is impressive about spot.com) answers our questions about the Ducks, and makes us feel as if we’re what he’s doing, it’s what we’ve all expected from him to begin with. It’s so not total chauvinist pigs. In addition, Earl Sleek, who covers the Ducks for Battle much fun to see. of California (www.battleofcali.com) joins in on the fun. Hiller has clearly outplayed Giguere. Giggy has a big cap number, might he hit the exit door too? Your season has seemed like a bout of drunken sex, hard, tiring, and not all Earl: That would be tough, not only because it’s tough to move large goalie that productive. Why has this been? contracts in this league (right, Khabibulin?), but also Giguere has a built-in no- Sara: Personally I think the biggest short coming has been on defense. The movement clause in his Burke-negotiated deal (at the time, Giguere’s infant son Ducks have essentially been training rookies all season and missing Beauchemin was under local medical care, so it made sense). So for those reasons, I think GM has been the biggest curse/blessing the Ducks could have received. If Beach Murray would have a difficult time moving Giguere, even if he wanted to. stays, Bobby Ryan probably gets traded (due to cap issues), but the Ducks D And I’m not sure that he does want to, at least not yet. Sure, Giguere might have been stronger. And of course, you are seeing what happened with has struggled this season, but there’s a few distractions that may have played into losing Beach...we got to see Ryan in action (which has been fabulous) but are it -- most notably the illness and passing of his father in Montreal. But Giguere is suffering on D. I think overall, it may have exposed some potentially weak goal still a money goaltender who singlehandedly carried Anaheim to the 2003 Stanley tending, and likewise, Jiggy has had a rough personal season as well. It’s defi- Cup Finals and four years later won a cup, and I think he gets some leeway from nitely been a head scratcher. those performances. Say what you will about Giguere’s mid-season struggles; Earl: Yeah, it’s been a year largely filled with unfulfilled promise -- at times the if he continues to turn nearly every tie game into a postseason win, I think that’s Ducks can be world-beaters, but they’ve found some ways to lose a lot of games, reason enough to keep him. too. The obvious problem is penalties, a habit that’s plagued the team since What did you make of the Kunitz-Whitney deal? Brian Burke rebuilt the roster. But that’s not exactly new. I think this season, the Sara: Hm, I was a bit upset about it. I’m sure in the long run it has the potential Ducks have suffered a drop-off in talent with their depth defensemen -- losing to be a positive for the Ducks, but it will be hard to say until we really see what Sean O’Donnell, Francois Beauchemin, and Mathieu Schneider from last year’s Whitney can bring to the team. There is a strong chance he’ll be leading the squad has made Scott Niedermayer and Chris Pronger shoulder even more of the Defensive core next season, and I think that’s when we’ll all know what this trade workload, and the overall defensive scheme has been flimsier as a result. was worth. I have a fear that Tangradi will be amazing and that might be the most Anaheim has become a team that is capable of beating the league’s damaging part of the trade. For me, Kuni was just a stand up guy, faithful to his best team one night and then losing to the worst the next -- seemingly every op- teammates and a hard worker. The Ducks need more hard workers right now. ponent, no matter their record, turns into a coin flip for the Ducks. Are you guys gonna make the playoffs? Is there any ? Are you really gonna move Pronger? Who else might go? That’s the million dollar question in Ducks land right now. Honestly, with how Earl: A Pronger trade seems like a real possibility before the deadline, though tight everything is in the West, I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t. The prob- it’s not a necessary move -- if the Ducks stay with Scott Niedermayer and newly- lem is we’re all still waiting for this team to catch fire. With so few games left acquired Ryan Whitney, they can still wait and trade Pronger during the summer (especially for the Ducks), that fire better be now. Is there any point? Probably when there should be more bidders. For now, I think Pronger only moves if not. The Ducks have had serious issues with first place AND last place teams this GM Bob Murray (remember him?) gets a “wow” offer from a desperate Cup season. I can’t foresee them upsetting any of the top teams in the West. contender. The Ducks have 10 soon-to-be unrestricted free agents, though, which Earl: Well now, that’s certainly a bit of lip from a franchise that (checks Wiki- may be even more likely to be included in a trade this week. Scott and Rob Nie- pedia) has won 1 playoff game since 1997. It’s tough to say about the playoff dermayer may be safe, plus Todd Marchant has a no-trade clause, but there’s still fortunes of these Ducks -- they have the talent to make the postseason, but possibilities involving Brendan Morrison, Sammy Pahlsson, Travis Moen, Steve haven’t regularly demonstrated it. But is there a point to qualifying in a low Montador, Brett Hedican, Francois Beauchemin, or Kent Huskins. Pahlsson, seed? Of course there is -- the Ducks have gone to the conference finals once as Beauchemin, and Huskins are all currently on the IR, though -- that may hurt their the 6th seed (eliminated by the 8th-seeded Prongers) and gone to the cup finals trade likelihood. once as the 7th seed. They’ve won their last five playoff rounds against western Bobby Ryan has really taken off, what’s been most impressive about his conference division winners, and generally have enjoyed better postseason results game? than they’ve probably deserved. It probably won’t give the Ducks an edge in any Sara: I think what is most impressive about Ryan is that he’s DAMN IMPRES- first-round matchup, but there is one nice thing about playing most opponents to a SIVE! It’s not that he’s doing anything we don’t expect to see, it’s simply that coin flip -- with a little luck, the Ducks could certainly throw an upset or two this he IS doing it! He’s doing what we all hoped he would do, he’s living up to the spring if they make it. expectations wonderfully. He’s got great speed, he’s an insane puck handler and

Hawks-DUCKS: the Last 4

Jan. 28th, 2009: Hawks 3, Ducks 2 Dec. 3rd, 2008: Ducks 2, Hawks 4 Burish opens the scoring, starting a binge for him, After going down 2-1, VerStud provides assist on Kane notches and Toews finishes off one of the Havlat’s equalizer and then again on Captain Mar- prettiest passing plays of the year to go 3-1 up. vel’s winner with under two minutes to go. Does he Hawks then hang on for dear life, and eek it out. have a point since?

Nov. 28th, 2008: Hawks 0, Ducks 1 Mar. 5th, 2008: Ducks 0, Hawks 3 Hiller shuts out the Hawks in an absolute snoozer Corey Crawford shuts out Anaheim in a thoroughly of a game. Ducks are intent on shutting down the dominating performance by The Men of Four Feath- Hawks, and do so effectively. Or so we’re told, we ers. Buff, Barker, and Sharp score. Parros waxes fell asleep in the 2nd. Hawks did as well. mustache. Hockey Sabermetrics CHICAGO Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calcu- lated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60. NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Aaron Johnson -0.04 -0.08 11.78 4 1.27 2.73 2.17 1.78 0.4 2.33 Andrew Ladd 0.1 0.13 12.76 3.6 1.96 1.65 2.49 1.99 0.49 1.15 Adam Burish -0.08 0.09 7.15 2.86 1.14 1.72 2.83 2.07 0.76 0.96 Matt Walker -0.04 -0.07 13.74 3 1.64 1.36 2.58 1.92 0.67 0.7 Dave Bolland 0.12 0.22 12.49 3.44 2.16 1.28 2.56 1.92 0.64 0.64 Duncan Keith 0.09 0.03 18.42 3.14 1.86 1.28 2.82 2.19 0.64 0.64 Martin Havlat 0.06 0.12 13.46 3.49 2.3 1.19 2.51 1.85 0.66 0.53 Ben Eager -0.11 0 8.07 2.65 1.33 1.33 2.9 2.04 0.86 0.47 Troy Brouwer 0.01 -0.18 11.48 2.56 1.33 1.23 2.86 2.07 0.79 0.44 Colin Fraser -0.12 0 7.75 2.58 1.42 1.16 2.85 2.1 0.74 0.42 James Wisniewski -0.02 -0.03 14.44 2.44 1.58 0.86 2.95 2.01 0.94 -0.08 0.03 -0.16 13.14 2.97 2.28 0.68 2.73 1.86 0.87 -0.18 Brent Seabrook 0.1 0.21 16.64 2.52 1.86 0.66 2.96 2.05 0.91 -0.24 Kris Versteeg 0.03 -0.21 12.3 2.82 2.23 0.6 2.84 1.98 0.86 -0.26 Brian Campbell -0.02 -0.04 17.49 2.92 2.34 0.57 2.73 1.76 0.97 -0.4 Patrick Kane 0.04 -0.14 13.94 2.67 2.3 0.37 2.69 1.9 0.79 -0.42 Dustin Byfuglien -0.01 -0.01 11.97 2.01 1.73 0.27 3.2 2.15 1.06 -0.78 Craig Adams -0.14 0.09 8.05 1.28 1.7 -0.43 3.15 1.98 1.17 -1.6 Cam Barker -0.04 -0.04 13.36 2.39 2.68 -0.29 2.92 1.58 1.34 -1.63 Jack Skille -0.04 0.17 9.15 0.82 3.28 -2.46 3.19 3.19 0 -2.46

Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn Face-offs Shots attempted for a team vs. how many are Player Face-Offs Taken FO% attempted against while a given player is on vs. Taken the ice, per 60 min. Jonathan Toews 951 53.4 NAME CORSI NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Colin Fraser 634 47.3 James Wisniewski 22.4 Jack Skille 4.1 0 Patrick Sharp 556 46.0 Jonathan Toews 16 Kris Versteeg 1.5 0.7 Dave Bolland 889 44.2 Martin Havlat 15.2 Dave Bolland 1.4 0.6 Krs Versteeg 207 44.0 Troy Brouwer 13.7 Colin Fraser 1.4 0.5 Total Rank: 28th 47.1 Brian Campbell 13.3 Patrick Kane 1.4 1.1 Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings Andrew Ladd 12.8 Adam Burish 1.3 1 This is a measure of a team’s This measures how many goals a Patrick Kane 12 Ben Eager 1.3 2.5 goals-for per 60 minutes of player team gives up per 60 minutes the being on the ice on the power play. player is on the ice on the PK. Brent Seabrook 11.7 Craig Adams 1.3 0.9 Player GFON/60 Player GA/60 Adam Burish 11.6 Andrew Ladd 1.2 0.6 Cam Barker 10.44 Andrew Ladd 4.17 Duncan Keith 11.3 Martin Havlat 1.1 0.6 James Wisniewski 7.94 Adam Burish 4.38 Kris Versteeg 11.3 Troy Brouwer 1.1 0.9 Patrick Kane 7.87 Brent Seabrook 5.12 Dustin Byfuglien 10.8 Dustin Byfuglien 1.1 1.4 Jonathan Toews 7.55 Aaron Johnson 5.42 Cam Barker 9.9 Jonathan Toews 1 0.7 Dusting Byfuglien 7.46 Duncan Keith 5.5 Dave Bolland 9.8 James Wisniewski 0.9 0.7 Troy Brouwer 7.28 Colin Fraser 6.85 Aaron Johnson 8.9 Brian Campbell 0.5 0.4 Brian Campbell 7.01 Matt Walker 7.33 Matt Walker 7.8 Aaron Johnson 0.4 2 Duncan Keith 6.87 Kris Versteeg 7.59 Ben Eager 7.8 Matt Walker 0.4 0.6 Martin Havlat 6.51 Dave Bolland 7.94 Colin Fraser 4.4 Duncan Keith 0.2 0.8 Brent Seabrook 6.42 James Wisniewski 7.95 Craig Adams -0.2 Brent Seabrook 0.2 0.9 Kris Versteeg 6.12 Cam Barker 9.43 Jack Skille -2.5 Cam Barker 0 0.7 Brent Seabrook 6.01 Hockey Sabermetrics Anaheim Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calcu- lated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60. NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Bobby Ryan -0.05 0.35 12 3.98 2.27 1.7 1.66 2.19 -0.53 2.23 Steve Montador -0.13 0.14 13.26 3.58 2.12 1.46 1.91 2.31 -0.39 1.86 Andrew Ebbet -0.05 0.3 11.51 3.6 2.52 1.08 1.91 2.38 -0.48 1.56 Corey Perry 0 0.31 14.7 3.31 2.18 1.13 2.08 2.35 -0.27 1.4 George Parros -0.21 0.12 6.13 2.54 1.45 1.09 2.44 2.47 -0.03 1.12 Ryan Getzlaf -0.01 0.38 15.25 3.03 2.19 0.84 2.08 2.28 -0.2 1.04 Ryan Carter -0.14 -0.11 8.62 1.99 1.49 0.5 2.31 2.63 -0.31 0.81 Kent Huskins -0.07 0.06 14.5 2.97 2.07 0.91 2.28 2.09 0.19 0.72 S. Brookbank -0.07 -0.08 10.65 2.25 2.03 0.23 2.78 2.45 0.33 -0.11 Brendan Morrison -0.08 0.07 11.15 2.01 1.92 0.09 2.66 2.37 0.3 -0.21 Chris Pronger 0 -0.04 17.81 2.23 2.23 0 2.52 2.27 0.25 -0.25 Teemu Selanne -0.05 0.19 12.22 2.4 2.73 -0.33 2.5 2.09 0.41 -0.74 Brent Hedican -0.08 0.24 13.94 2.46 2.9 -0.44 2.18 1.87 0.31 -0.75 Drew Miller 0 -0.09 9.76 1.76 2.64 -0.88 1.91 1.8 0.11 -0.99 Scott Niedermayer 0.03 -0.38 17.38 2 2.51 -0.5 2.65 2.09 0.56 -1.06 Ryan Whitney 0.05 0.15 16.62 2.24 3.11 -0.87 2.64 2.42 0.21 -1.09 Todd Marchant -0.07 -0.2 9.04 1.4 2.55 -1.15 2.63 2.24 0.39 -1.54 Sammy Pahlsson 0.06 -1.05 12.14 1.65 2.81 -1.16 2.7 1.87 0.83 -1.99 Rob Niedermayer 0.06 -1 11.66 1.57 3.05 -1.48 2.65 1.95 0.7 -2.18 Travis Moen 0.04 -0.92 12.14 1.22 2.59 -1.38 2.9 2.06 0.84 -2.21

Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn Face-offs This measures how many shots are attempted Player Face-Offs Taken FO% for a team vs. how many are attempted against vs. Taken while a given player is on the ice, per 60 min. Pretty self-explanatory. A measure of penalties drawn Samuel Pahlsson 1095 53.5 vs. taken, per 60 min. NAME CORSI Andrew Ebbet 293 50.2 NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Ryan Getzlaf 20.6 Ryan Getzlaf 886 50.0 Corey Perry 2 1.5 Corey Perry 19.4 Todd Marchant 389 47.6 Bobby Ryan 1.4 0.7 Bobby Ryan 17.4 Ryan Carter 289 46.7 Andrew Ebbet 1.3 0.2 Brent Hedican 13.6 Brendan Morrison 340 45.9 Drew Miller 1.3 1.8 Drew Miller 13.6 Total: Rank: 19th 49.5 Teemu Selanne 1.1 0.8 Andrew Ebbet 10.1 Ryan Getzlaf 0.9 1.7 Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings Steve Montador 6.7 This is a measure of a team’s goals This measures how many goals Todd Marchant 0.9 1.1 for per 60 minutes of player being a team gives up per 60 minutes Sheldon Brookbank 4.5 Ryan Carter 0.8 1.3 on the ice on the power play. the player is on the ice on the Ryan Carter 4.3 Travis Moen 0.8 0.8 Player GFON/60 Player GAON/60 Chris Pronger 3.5 George Parros 0.7 1.3 Ryan Getzlaf 10.33 Brent Hedican 4.66 Teemu Selanne 1.7 Brendan Morrison 0.6 0.5 Teemu Selanne 9.93 Todd Marchant 5.75 Scott Niedermayer 0.7 Kent Huskins 0.5 1 Chris Pronger 9.71 Steve Montador 5.9 Brendan Morrison -1.2 S. Brookbank 0.5 1.6 Corey Perry 9.19 S. Niedermayer 6.42 George Parros -5.1 Sammy Pahlsson 0.5 1.3 Scott Niedermayer 8.55 Kent Huskins 6.73 Kent Huskins -10.5 Steve Montador 0.4 1.5 Bobby Ryan 8.47 S. Pahlsson 6.86 Todd Marchant -11 Brent Hedican 0.3 1.5 Andrew Ebbet 7.1 R. Niedermayer 7.13 Sammy Pahlsson -12.9 Scott Niedermayer 0.3 0.8 Ryan Whitney 4.31 Ryan Whitney 7.99 Ryan Whitney -14.9 Rob Niedermayer 0.3 1 Brendan Morrison 3.21 Chris Pronger 8.11 Travis Moen -15.8 Chris Pronger 0.1 1.1 Travis Moen 8.54 Rob Niedermayer -16.7 Drew Miller 10.58 Referee Stats For The Hawks

Referees 1st NHL Hawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/ W L OTL Game PK’s Game 2 Fraser, Kerry 1980 3 14 17 10.3 4.7 5.7 3 0 0 3 Leggo, Mike 1997 3 10 15 8.3 3.3 5.0 2 0 1 4 McCauley, Wes 2003 5 11 14 5.0 2.2 2.8 2 2 0 5 Rooney, Chris 2000 1 4 1 5.0 4.0 1.0 1 0 0 6 Marouelli, Dan 1984 3 14 11 8.3 4.7 3.7 1 2 0 7 McCreary, Bill 1984 4 17 15 8.0 4.3 3.8 2 3 0 8 Jackson, Dave 1990 6 28 24 8.7 4.7 4.0 4 1 1 10 Devorski, Paul 1989 2 9 13 11.0 4.5 6.5 1 1 0 11 Sutherland, Kelly 2000 1 5 8 13.0 5.0 8.0 0 1 0 12 Koharski, Don 1981 4 19 20 9.8 4.8 5.0 3 0 1 13 O’Halloran, Dan 1995 4 22 17 9.8 5.5 4.3 2 1 1 14 LaRue, Dennis 1991 5 22 22 8.8 4.4 4.4 3 0 1 15 Auger, Stephane 2000 4 17 13 7.5 4.3 3.3 3 0 1 16 Shick, Rob 1986 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 0 0 1 18 Kimmerly, Greg 1996 5 26 25 10.2 5.2 5.0 3 2 0 20 Peel, Tim 1999 2 13 13 13.0 6.5 6.5 1 1 0 21 VanMassenhoven, Don 1993 3 10 5 5.0 3.3 1.7 2 0 1 23 Watson, Brad 1996 2 7 4 5.5 3.5 2.0 1 0 1 25 Joannette, Marc 1999 2 13 5 9.0 6.5 2.5 1 0 1 26 Martell, Rob 1996 1 3 1 4.0 3.0 1.0 1 0 0 27 Furlatt, Eric 2001 6 27 26 8.8 4.5 4.3 2 3 1 28 Lee, Chris 2001 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 1 0 0 29 Walsh, Ian 2000 1 1 3 4.0 1.0 3.0 0 1 0 30 Hasenfratz, Mike 2000 3 22 13 11.7 7.3 4.3 0 1 2 32 Kowal, Tom 2000 4 13 10 5.8 3.3 2.5 4 0 0 33 Pollock, Kevin 2000 3 10 12 7.3 3.3 4.0 1 1 1 34 Meier, Brad 1999 4 14 20 8.5 3.5 5.0 3 1 0 35 Warren, Dean 1999 ------36 Morton, Dean 2000 2 16 10 13.0 8.0 5.0 0 1 1 38 St Laurent, Francois 2006 2 14 15 14.5 7.0 7.5 1 0 1 39 Dwyer, Gord 2003 3 16 15 10.3 5.3 5.0 2 0 1 40 Kozari, Steve 2006 4 26 20 11.5 6.5 5.0 2 2 0 42 O’Rourke, Dan 1999 2 11 13 12.0 5.5 6.5 1 0 1 43 Pochmara, Brian 2006 2 9 11 10.0 4.5 5.5 2 0 0 45 St. Pierre, Justin 2003 6 29 26 9.2 4.8 4.3 3 1 2

NHL LEADERS Goals Points GAA SV%

Player Team G Player Team P Player Team GAA Player Team SV% 1 A. Ovechkin WAS 46 1 PIT 92 1 Tim Thomas BOS 2.06 1 Tim Thomas BOS .933 2 Zach Parise NJ 38 2 A. Ovechkin WAS 82 2 Pekka Rinne NSH 2.15 2 T. Vokoun FLA .927 3 PHI 36 3 S. Crosby PIT 79 3 Steve Mason CBJ 2.16 3 Pekka Rinne NSH .926 4 I. Kovalchuk ATL 34 4 Zach Parise NJ 77 4 N. Backstrom MIN 2.24 4 N. Backstrom MIN .925 5 P. Marleau SJ 34 5 DET 75 5 M. Fernandez BOS 2.24 5 N. Khabibulin CHI .924 16 J. Toews CHI 26 29 Patrick Kane CHI 56 8 N. Khabibulin CHI 2.31 From The 300 Level

Deadline Debate Tonight, Stuy from the 300 Level joins us. The 300 Level for goaltenders over 35 who are in the last year of their contract mak- is the supreme Hawks messageboard, full of info conjured from the ing over 6 million right? Right? Well despite the crushing reality reaches of the hockey world, and furious -- sometimes rancourous -- that maybe hitting us on March 4th when we acquire a guy that know discussion of the team we love. Stuy is the Administrator, and overall one has heard of here’s my wish list for March 4th. maven of it, and we’re thrilled to have him here. #1) Cam Barker goes nowhere. The guy is playing great this year. This is my first article in the “Committed Indian” and hope- I want to see Baker, Seabrook and Keith on the Hawks blue line for fully, first of many. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m the many years to come. Administrator of “The 300 Level,” which is a Blackhawks fans mes- sage board (cue the shameless plug), which can be found here http:// #2) Habby gets traded. I know he’s played great but if he can bring stuy.proboards51.com/. For those of who do know me, you know us anything at the deadline to sure up this team for the post season he I live for the trade deadline. So what better has to go. Puet Huet can handle the load subject to talk about in my first article than March 4th, 2009? The day when the Hawks #3 Nik Antropov gets traded to any team fax machine usually goes on the fritz along but the Hawks. I wish this every year along with the endless “Nik Antropov to Chicago” with my wife to somehow turn into Megan rumors. This year however, is a bit differ- Fox. (Just kidding, Denise) ent. Usually, the Hawks at this time of year are trying to dump salary and useless players #4 The Hawks acquire a 2nd line center, faster than the speed of light. Now, they are a real 2nd line center. Not just some player trying to add players for a playoff run. The who the Hawks will try to convince the Hawks brass has never been in this situa- masses that he is a 2nd line center when he’s tion, which makes it all the scarier. Rosie really just a 3rd or 4th liner. O’Donnell scary. One has to wonder if the Hawks #5 Brian Campbell decides to give half his will be taken to the woodshed on any deal they make. The last pay check to Duncan Keith. This has nothing to do with the trade time the Hawks were buyers was 2001-2002 where they added Joe deadline but you know it’s true. Reekie and Lyle Odelein. Those two juggernauts helped the Hawks to a quick first round exit in the playoffs. This time of year is also #6 Havlat stays. Even though he could be gone at years end he’s the worst for poor Cam Barker who every year since he’s joined the more valuable to us now than trading him for a player who may not team is rumored to always be on the block. This year Cam is having be anywhere near the game changer Havlat can be. a great year and yet again rumored to be on his way out of town along with Jack Skille. As a fan that is frustrating, but you have to Well, that’s it. March 4th is going to long day for Hawk fans. Here’s give something to get something. It just sucks to know that what we hoping the Hawks come out on top, or at least still intact. Also are giving is probably not going to get the #2 center we desperately if Habby is traded on March 4th I’d just like to say thanks for the need. It also sucks to know we maybe going into the playoffs with 13 memories…. well this year anyway. Those other years were terrible. million tied up in goalies. But I digress (big word, had to look it up). Maybe Dale will Greg “Stuy” Stewart pull off another miracle trade. I mean, there has to be a huge market

If you’d like to contribute to our silly little rag, please send sub- missions to [email protected]. All guest contributors will have a chance to win a free jersey from Triple Threat Sports! The Committed Indian We’re freezing our ass off so you can laugh yours off The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997 Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001) Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998) Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001) Antti Niemi (Undrafted FA) 2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995) PHI for (FA PHI 2000) Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations. Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001) 2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003) Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for Brandon Bochenski (OTT 7th round 2001) 2005-2006 Jack Skille (1st round) Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round from PHI for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th 1992) round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006 2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round) Dave Bolland (2nd round) Troy Brouwer (7th round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round) Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Dustin Byfuglien (8th round) Jim Vandermeer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990) 2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round) James Wisniewski (5th round) Adam Burish (9th round)

GM HISTORY COACHES Dale Tallon (2005-Present) Head Coach-Joel Quenneville Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long, Too Many Fuck- Assistant Coach-John Torchetti ing Times) Assistant Coach-Mike Haviland Mike Smith (2001-2004) Assistant Coach- Marc Bergevin Bob Murray (1999-2000) Goaltending Coach-Stephane Waite The Making of The Anaheim Ducks

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Ryan Whitney (PIT 1st round 2002) from PIT for Chris Brendan Morrison (NJ 2nd Kunitz (ANA Undrafted FA 2003) and round 1993) (ANA 2nd round 2007) Brett Hedican (STL 10th round Mike Brown (VAN 5th round 2004) from VAN for Na- 1988) than McIver (VAN 8th round 2003) Steve Montador (CAL Undraft- (COL 4th round 1997), (WSH ed FA) 9th round 1990), and Chad Painchaud (ATL 4th round 2004) from ATL for Mathieu Schneider (MON 3rd round 1987) Sheldon Brookbank (ANA Undrafted FA 2003) from NJ for Steve McIntyre 2007-2008 Andrew Ebbet (Undrafted FA) 2006-2007 George Parros (LA 8th round 1999) and 2007 3rd round Ryan Carter (Undrafted FA) pick from COL for 2007 2nd and 3rd round pick Jonas Hiller (Undrafted FA) Chris Pronger (HAR 1st round 1993) from EDM for Jof- frey Lupul (ANA 1st round 2002), Ladislav Smid (ANA 1st round 2004), 2007 1st round pick, and 2008 1st round pick 2005-2006 Bobby Ryan (1st Travis Moen (CAL 5th round 2000) from CHI for Mi- Todd Marchant (NYR 7th round round) chael Holmqvist (ANA 1st 1997) 1993) Brendan Mikkelson Francois Beauchemin (MON 3rd round 1998) and Tyler Scott Niedermayer (NJ 1st (2nd round) Wright from CLB for Sergei Federov (DET 4th round round 1991) 1989) and 2006 5th round pick Kent Huskins (CHI 6th round 1998) (Undrafted FA) 2003-2004 Ryan Getzlaf (1st round) Corey Perry (1st round) Drew Miller (6th round) 2002-2003 Rob Niedermayer (FLA 1st round 1993) from CAL for (NJ 2nd round 1999) and Jean-Fran- cois Damphousse (NJ 1st round 1997 2000-2001 Samuel Pahlsson (COL 7th round 1996) from BOS for Patrick Traverse (OTT 3rd round 1992) and Andrei Naz- arov (SJ 1st round 1992) J.S. Giguere (HAR 1st round 1995) from CAL for 2000 2nd round pick

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com GM HISTORY Present: Bob Murray COACHES 2006-2008: Brian Burke Head Coach: Randy Carlyle 2003-2006: Bryon Murray Asst. Coach: Dave Farrish 1999-2003: Pierre Gauthier Asst. Coach: Newell Brown 1994-1999: Jack Ferreira Goaltending Coach: Francois Allaire The Hawks Record When...

Playing at home...... 16-5-6 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 2-2-1 Getting obliterated on face-offs...... 13-10-4 Playing on road...... 19-12-3 Taking 30 or more shots...... 26-12-7 Are even close on face-offs..... 22-7-5 Scoring first...... 24-5-3 Taking less than 30 shots..... 9-5-2 Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 30-15-9 Opponent scores first...... 11-12-6 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 16-6-5 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 5-1-1 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 19-11-4 during 4-on-4...... 30-15-9 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 11-3-5 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 16-4-6 screws up a name...... 33-14-9 Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0 1st of a back-to-back...... 4-4-3 Ice Crew wear skirts...... 6-1-3 ANYONE blows editors of Committed Indian ...... 0-1-0 2nd of a back-to-back..... 7-4-0 Ice Crew wear pants...... 3-1-0 Playing on a Monday...... 2-2-1 Opponent played night before.... 8-3-1 Ice Crew wear shorts.... 7-3-3 Playing on a Tuesday...... 5-2-0 Taking more than 5 penalties..... 16-13-4 Member of Ice Crew hilariously falls on her shapely ass.... 0-1-0 Playing on a Wednesday...... 7-1-2 Taking 5 or less penalties.... 19-4-5 Leading after 2 periods...... 29-2-3 Playing on a Thursday...... 2-3-0 Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 8-4-4 Losing after 2 periods...... 2-10-3 Playing on a Friday...... 4-3-3 Burish takes a penalty...... 7-5-2 Tied after 2 periods...... 4-5-3 Playing on a Saturday...... 7-4-3 Keith takes a penalty...... 11-3-2 In ...... 3-4 Playing on a Sunday...... 8-2-0 Sharp takes a penalty...... 10-2-2 In shootout...... 2-5 Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1 Toews takes a penalty..... 8-4-2 Cam Barker plays...... 28-13-6 Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 34-15-8 Havlat takes a penalty.... 5-3-1 Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 5-2-3 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 10-13-4 Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1 Lacking a #2 center...... 35-17-9 Outshoot opponent...... 24-10-4 Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 7-5-5 In 1-goal games..... 7-6-9 Are outshot by opponent.... 11-7-5 51 Phantom blows a coverage...... 24-14-8 In 2-goal games...... 12-5-0 Havlat shies from contact...... 16-6-6 Toews is trying too hard...... 3-7-2 In 3-goal games...... 7-4-0 Patrick Kane scores...... 11-4-2 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 3-2-4 In 4+ goal games...... 8-2-0 Jonathan Toews scores...... 12-1-5 No fights in 300 Level..... 13-3-2 Scoring 3+ goals..... 33-4-4 Martin Havlat scores...... 12-4-1 Playing Eastern Conference..... 7-2-3 Scoring less than 3 goals...... 2-12-4 Patrick Sharp scores...... 15-3-2 Playing Western Conference..... 28-15-6 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Dustin Byfuglien scores...... 7-1-1 Playing Central Division...... 4-6-5 PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 16-5-6 Dustin Byfuglien turns down a hit...... 28-13-7 Playing Northwest Division.... 12-5-0 PA plays Stranglehold...... 5-2-3 Andrew Ladd scores...... 9-0-1 Playing Pacific Division 12-4-1 PA plays P.J. Harvey...... 0-0-0 Dave Bolland scores...... 11-1-2 Playing Atlantic Division 1-1-2 Fraser fights...... 7-2-1 Adam Burish scores...... 3-2-0, and totally ruins that joke Playing NASCAR Division 3-1-0 Burish fights...... 5-2-0 51 Phantom scores...... 3-2-1 Playing Northeast Division 3-0-1 Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0 Duncan Keith scores...... 5-3-0 Playing in October.... 4-3-3 Barker fights...... 0-0-2 Brent Seabrook scores...... 4-0-1 Playing in November.... 6-3-3 Buff fights...... 1-0-2 VerStud scores.... 10-4-1 Playing in December...... 10-1-1 Sharp fights...... 1-0-0 Troy Brouwer scores.... 7-0-0 Playing in January..... 7-6-1 Eager fights...... 10-1-1 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 26-5-8 Playing in February..... 7-4-1 On Comcast...... 26-9-6 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 9-11-1 Playing in March...... 1-0-0 On WGN...... 9-5-3 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 14-14-9 Playing in April...... 0-0-0 On Vs...... 0-2-0 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 21-3-0 UC plays really stupid goal song..... 16-3-6 On NBC.... 0-1-0 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 6-2-0 Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 3-9-3 Judd Sirott hates Adam Creighton 35-17-9

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