------FADEAWAY #37 is a fanzine devoted to science fiction and related fields of interest, and is produced by Robert Jennings, 29 Whiting Rd., Oxford, MA 01540-2035, email [email protected]. Copies are available for a letter of comment, or a print fanzine in trade, or by subscription at a cost of $18.00 for six issues. Letters of comment are much preferred. Any person who has not previously received a copy of this fanzine may receive a sample copy of the current issue for free by sending me your name and address. Publication is bi-monthly. This is the October-November 2013 issue ______

THE BEST LAID PLANS DEPT. My efforts to prune back the page count of this fanzine and by so doing, to also get the unit weight down so it falls below the kick-over point on the postal scales, have been reasonably successful. I managed to hold the page count this issue to a mere 40 pages. This publican seems to have an organic life of its own, and it resists mightily my efforts to get the page count down to below the 40 page mark. This issue would have been considerably longer if I had not reduced the type size of both my article and the entire letter column. In addition I dropped a buncha letters that I normally would have been happy to run, had the page count not threatened to run amok, again. This time round the editorial comments are also being severely cut back. Regular length editorial ramblings and a full length letter column will return next issue.

OUR ESTEEMED ART STAFF & WHERE THEIR WORK MAY BE FOUND HEREIN:

Front Cover---courtesy of Jeff Redman Dan Carroll---Page 40 Robert Cepeda---Page 32 Brad W. Foster---Page 2 Alexis Gilliland---Page 38 The People’s Cube---Page 31 Steve Stiles---Pages 36, 39

2 ALL THIS—AND SUPER SCIENCE, tOO!

by

John Purcell

There is no question in anybody’s mind about John W. Campbell, Jr.’s influence on the science fiction field. As both writer and editor – especially as an editor – Campbell shaped the direction of the genre in ways that are still being felt. It is well documented how he published the first stories of Lester del Rey, Robert Heinlein, A.E. Van Vogt, Theodore Sturgeon, and others, while pushing established writers like Isaac Asimov, Clifford D. Simak and Jack Williamson in directions their fiction may not have taken without Campbell’s prodding. Some of these writers have told of their “conversations” with Campbell. Asimov described them more as lectures in which the editor would pontificate about whatever topic was on his mind at the time. All I can say is that we readers should be grateful that he began editing Astounding Stories in 1937. Even tho his classic story “Who Goes There” was published in the August 1938 issue of Astounding under the pen name of Don A. Stuart, and that story may have been one of the most significant pieces of fiction he produced, it was also one of his last. He instead devoted his energy to editing Astounding/Analog until his death in 1971. Along the way he also had a four year run as editor of Unknown (1939-1943). Much has already been written about John W. Campbell’s years of editing Astounding/Analog and Unknown. My focus in this article is to provide readers with an overview of the stories that placed him alongside E.E. “Doc” Smith and Edmond Hamilton as one of the premier writers of Super Science and Space Opera beyond the pale. These stories are generally known as the Arcot, Morey and Wade stories, and have been collected into an ominous volume titled “Arcot, Morey and Wade; The Complete, Classic Space Opera Series”, published by Leonare Press in 2008 and available on Amazon in both hardcover and paperback editions. Each of the stories is also available from many other publishers, notably the Ace Books editions in the early 1960s, which are now considered collector’s items by SF aficionados. Before going any further, perhaps it is a good idea to put a core definition to the genre of ‘Space Opera’ in place. After all, that is what this series is: good old-fashioned, Earth’s-future-is-in-the-balance-and-the- universe-needs-to-be-saved type of science fiction. One of the best definitions of this term comes from David G. Hartwell and Kathryn Cramer. They definite Space Opera as “colorful, dynamic, large-scale science fiction adventure, competently and sometimes beautifully written, usually focused on a sympathetic, heroic central character and plot action, and usually set in the relatively distant future, and in space or on other worlds, characteristically optimistic in tone. It often deals with war, piracy, military virtues, and very large-scale action, [with] large stakes.” Well, the Arcot, Wade and Morey tales definitely match this description. The stories in this series include three novelettes and two novels; with the stories appearing in the following publication order: Piracy Preferred---Amazing Stories, June 1930 Solarite---Amazing Stories, November 1930 The Black Star Passes---Amazing Stories Quarterly, Fall 1930 Islands of Space---Amazing Stories Quarterly, Spring 1931 Invaders of the Infinite---Amazing Stories Quarterly, Fall-Winter 1932

3 During my research into these stories, it was interesting to learn that the editor of Amazing Stories, T. O’Conor Sloane, lost the manuscript to the first Campbell story he accepted; “Invaders of the Infinite”; but the first publication of a Campbell story, “When the Atoms Failed”, appeared in the January 1930 issue of Amazing, followed by five more Campbell stories during 1930 in both the monthly Amazing Stories and Amazing Stories Quarterly. Three of these five stories were part of a space opera series featuring the characters of Richard Arcot (whose father was a brilliant scientist), Robert Morey, Jr., (whose father was also a brilliant scientist-inventor), and Wade, whose father wasn’t a brilliant scientist. Wade was the antagonist in the first published story “Piracy Preferred”. Then came the ‘complete novel’ in the series, “Islands of Space”, the cover story of the Spring 1931 Amazing Stories Quarterly. During 1934-1935 a serial novel “The Mightiest Machine”, which did not feature Arcot, Morey and Wade, ran in Astounding Stories, edited by F. Orlin Tremaine. Several other stories featuring the heavier-than-lead characters of Penton and Blake appeared from late 1936 in Thrilling Wonder Stories. These early stories, as pulp-driven and formulaic as they could possibly be, established Campbell’s reputation as a writer of space adventure. When he began in 1934 to publish stories with a different tone, he wrote as John W. Campbell, at a convention in 1957 Don A. Stuart, a pseudonym derived from his wife’s maiden name. Under that nom de plume Campbell proved that he was a very capable writer who could create nuanced plots and realistic characters, unlike his earlier efforts or other projects. Then again, as with everything, even writers have to start somewhere. Campbell himself later alluded to those beginnings. In the introduction he wrote to the 1953 Fantasy Press edition of “The Back Star Passes”, Campbell states that “these early science-fiction tales explored the Universe; they were probings, speculations, as to where we could go. What we could do. They had a reach and sweep and exuberance that belonged. They were fun, too.” Indeed, much early science fiction possessed a seemingly limitless supply of optimism and a sense of unlimited possibility that all but vanished from the genre a couple of decades later. That is certainly the style of the first story in this series of adventures, “Piracy Preferred”, sequentially the first of the series and the first to appear in the book “The Black Star Passes.” This story opens with a million-dollar securities robbery from one of the huge transcontinental aircraft owned by Arcot Senior. The robbery involves an invisible pirate, suspended-animation gas, and landing a rocket-powered glider atop a monstrous plane that dwarfs a modern Boeing 767. This all happens within the first half dozen pages. The frantic pace doesn’t let up as the story continues either. The younger Arcot and his friend Morey figure out what’s happening and proceed to invent a whole new drive system, mostly involving molecular-motion, just to catch the pirate. Of course, it’s no problem for Arcot to solve the invisibility screen either. After all he is the world’s most brilliant physicist. Keep in mind that his friend Robert Morey, Jr. isn’t exactly a mental half-wit either. By the time the reader hits the third chapter there is no question that there is absolutely nothing that these two young men cannot do. Without question, this is one of the underlying themes of these stories, if not the vast majority of space opera pouring forth from the typewriters of Campbell, Doc Smith, Edmond Hamilton, Edward Earl Repp, and Jack Williamson as the 1930s began. This was the “can do” era, and in the science fiction pulps, this combination of the optimism of youth, science and technology found a natural home.

4 Thus, it is not surprising that the heroes of “Piracy Preferred” are young, technically-oriented men. Campbell himself was only about twenty years old when he wrote these three stories and still an engineering student, so naturally it follows that “Piracy Preferred” established a writing style that mirrored Campbell’s scientific interests and personal beliefs. As far as the science goes; in hindsight—eighty years after their publication---these stories require more than a modicum of a reader willingly suspending his disbelief. But at that time this was Good Stuph. The readers ate it up, and demanded more. Ignore that loud whirring sound, it’s only Coleridge spinning in his gave. In “Piracy Preferred” we are eventually introduced to the pirate himself, who is known simply by the name of Wade, and guess what? He turns out to be a chemistry genius of the first water. He had turned to air piracy because of an imbalance in his brain. Naturally, this is cured, and by the end of the story he has been offered the opportunity to team up with Arcot and Morey on their adventures, even tho in the next story “Solarite”, there is tension between the three as Arcot and Morey have their doubts about Wade’s mental recovery and loyalty to their cause. In “Solarite” the new space drive developed by our youthful mental geniuses is so successful that a voyage is made to Venus in the first interplanetary ship designed by earthmen, a vessel dubbed Solarite since its power source comes from the Sun (makes sense). On Venus, our heroes find themselves involved in a global war, with the baddies planning to invade Earth if they ‘re not stopped. Naturally they are, thanks to the brilliant interference of Arcot, Wade and Morey (what? No Prime Directives?). An interplanetary alliance is formed with the Venusians because—guess what?— there’s another problem headed toward earth. My, but humankind lives on a busy intersection of the galaxy. This is the basis of the last section of the first book, “The Dark Star Passes”. Earth and Venus both face a menace from the people of the Dark Star, who want to escape their wandering, dead sun, and start a war across space just because they want to. It also just happens that our solar system is in their way, and this alien civilization has taken a shine to this cozy, young sun, and its very habitable planetary, especially the third rock from the sun. So these extraterrestrial beings decide to seize control. Who could blame them for trying? Put yourself in their

5 position—If your world was essentially dead because the sun had finally burned itself out, wouldn’t you want to

replace that sun with a relatively new one? It is like changing a car’s dead battery. It makes perfect sense, albeit in a space opera way. This plot structure is typical of the kind of science fiction published at that time. There had to be a villain; a bad guy in the story to push the plot along. After all, without conflict a story has no interest. Campbell even alluded to this fact in his 1953 introduction, where he states, “There’s another thing about science-fiction yarns that is quite conspicuous; it’s so difficult to pick out the villains. It might have made quite a change in history if the ballads and tales of the old days had been a little less sure of who the villains were.” With that in mind, it’s not surprising how the rest of the Arcot, Wade and Morey tales were structured. The second book in the series, the novel “Islands in Space” continues the adventures of our three intrepid young scientists as they push the limits of their creative geniuses, thanks to the wealth of technological advancements made possible by the defeat of the Nigrans, the people of the Dark Star; who unsuccessfully attempted an invasion of our solar system. Campbell acknowledges that thru armed conflict, great technological advances are made. Using that assumption as a premise, in “Islands In Space”, the scientific advances first developed in “The Black Star Passes” result in the earthmen devising a molecular-motion spacecraft capable of zipping around our solar system as if on a day trip. The obvious next step is interstellar travel, which Campbell explains not in massive information dumps by the narrator, but by the characters themselves talking out their ideas with each other so that the reader gets into the mindset of characters thru their conversations about how the interstellar drive works. This ‘science via discussion’ mode of story telling is consistent thruout the entire Arcot, Wade and Morey series. And the advances are not linear, but of an exponential explosion of scientific advancement. For example, in “The Black Star Passes”, Earth progresses from propeller driven aircraft to molecular-motion

6 spacecraft flying around the solar system and a little beyond. What’s the next step? Interstellar travel, of course, all nearly laid out and plausibly explained by John W. Campbell in “Solarite”. Using superconductor technology, a new method of power storage is invented, which then progresses to a space-warp drive of such astounding capabilities that intergalactic travel is possible. The first trial of the new ship takes them to the neighborhood of Sirius, about nine light-years away, in a matter of minutes. Oh, and that’s with the ship on one-sixteenth power, no less. A surprise awaits: Sirius B, a white dwarf star, has been moved away, and in orbit around Sirius A we find none other than the Nigran planets! This seems to pretty well preclude any further problems with the Nigrans, since they now have a live star of their very own. From here on, the steps get a little larger tho. After heading out 30,000 light years to the edge of the galaxy, the boys decide to “give her the gun”, and head out toward other nebulae, as Arcot decides to use half power (!) for ten whole seconds. Their reactions are worth a glance— Morey began to make swift calculations of the distance they had come by measuring the apparent change in diameter of the Galaxy. “Hmmmm. Let’s see.” Morey worked a moment with his slide rule. [A slide rule? In the far future!?! Puh-leeze!-JP] “We made good time! Twenty-nine light years in ten seconds! You had it on half power—the velocity goes up as the cube of the power—doubling the power, then, gives us eight times the velocity---Hmmmmm.” He readjusted the slide rule and slid the hairline over a bit. “We can make ten million light years in a little less than five days at full power.” The casual way the men take this kind of thing in stride is a mark of Campbell’s writing. Nothing is too difficult for them to solve, which is not surprising because their thoughts and actions are, if anything, symbolic of Campbell’s belief that nothing is impossible if people use all their talents and resources properly. As the story unfolds, our intrepid adventurers find a frozen planet which once had a humanlike population that had been destroyed by a supernova. Problems naturally come along with their explorations, only to be thought out and fixed as necessary; and explained in the expected scientific conversations between the main characters. Finally they find themselves in what appears to be another universe altogether, and of course they get themselves involved in an interplanetary war. This section of the story might well be a precursor to “The Mightiest Machine”, which is not part of the Arcot, Wade and Morey series, but easily could be, due to similarities between these two separate series. Not surprisingly, much of the scientific discussions between Arcot and Morey, (and Wade too-- remember, he’s a brilliant chemist); is now dated and flawed, eighty years later, but Campbell makes it seem plausible thru his characters so that it is not necessary to invoke Coleridge’s ‘willing suspension of disbelief’ dictum every other paragraph. The advances in technology are part of the action and provide a natural conversational flow; as if everybody talked Super Science in everyday life back then. This even applies when the human trio encounters new alien species along the way. The series concludes with “Invaders From the Infinite”. In this epic Arcot, Wade and Morey literally save the Milky Way Galaxy from alien invaders. “Invaders From the Infinite” opens with Rocket Squad member Russ Evans happily goofing off, watching for a girl on the rooftops of New Jersey from almost a billion miles out in space with a “telectroscope”, an electrically-enhanced telescope, when he suddenly feels very tired:

Half conscious, fighting for his faculties with all his will, the pilot turned to the screen. A ship! A strange, glistening thing stream- lined to the nth degree, every spare corner rounded till the resistance was at an irreducible minimum. But in the great pilotport of the stranger the patrol pilot saw faces, and gasped in surprise as he saw them! Terrible faces, blotched, contorted. Patches of white skin, patches of black, blotched and twisted across the faces. Evans’ life seemed to flash before him, then oblivion.

Our young trio of scientists are busy at their research on Earth as this alien vessel lands on top of the Arcot Research Building, which must be of Brobdingnagian proportions for this to be feasible. Discussion via telepathy; which readers of the series are used to by now since Arcot and Morey have such advanced mental 7 powers that they have taught themselves how to communicate via telepathy (developed in “Islands of Space”); reveals that the visitors are actually a friendly race evolved from canines. They have come to warn of an evil, destructive race spreading rapidly across the stars, using near unstoppable weapons. Of course, this is nothing but a challenge to the abilities of Arcot, Morey and Wade. New ships and weapons are soon in the works. This all makes me wonder at the financial, mineral, and labor resources available to these guys. Apparently to Campbell, in the future money is immaterial. For that matter, natural resources are also infinite in quantity, as are the mental abilities of our heroes, and by extension, the inherent abilities of humankind. In the previous books, planes and space vehicles started being constructed with convention metals such as steel and aluminum, progressing thru the stories to fantastically strong metals made of light protons compressed to such a degree that they became a solid. But even these ‘lux’ metals are not enough for the coming battle, so “cosmium”, made of tightly compressed cosmic rays, is developed as space armor. Luckily normal factories aren’t required for building these things—Arcot has such incredible mental powers that, like a god, he mentally manipulates atoms and elements to create them. (Men Like Gods? Sounds like somebody else’s book title here, doesn’t it?) At any rate, an alliance is made with the canine people, known as the Ortolians, and other races, including their old enemies from the Black Star, the Nigrans, and before you can say “gosh-wow, boy-oh-boy!” the war is on. Yup, it’s space opera alright, but of such a scope that it never ceases to hold the reader’s attention. There’s a new invention around every curve of the universe, literally created out of virtually nothing, and an affirmation of man’s capabilities runs thruout. Interestingly enough, Arcot invents the ultimate force, the ultimate weapon, and worries about the consequences if these things ever fall into the wrong hands. The whole series has war and destruction as part of their plots, but “Invaders form the Infinite” gives more thought to innocent lives lost, including mentions of families, women and children (don’t forget Russ Evans’ girl in the book’s opening pages). It is important to note that this the first time that a woman enters the storyline, tho peripherally. Overall, there are no female central or even minor characters in any of these stories. This one of the major characteristics of Campbell and many other science fiction writers of that time period. Early science fiction was essentially a male field, so it was generally accepted that the stories, as fantastical as they were, rarely involved women. There were very few female science fiction writers, or readers, during the early pulp magazine era. Eventually there were, and damn good ones too (Leigh Brackett and C.L. Moore, to name only two of the greatest). In glancing thru the letter columns of Amazing Stories, Astounding Stories, Thrilling Wonder Stories, or any other science fiction pulp from 1926-1939, there were only occasional letters from female readers. It is also interesting to note that in a later story, “The Elder Gods” (published in Unknown, 1939) Campbell uses a couple of female characters, but in supporting roles. The fact that women are present at all is significant in itself.

8 Another characteristic that comes out of the stories is the great faith John Campbell had in science’s ability to solve any problems, and his young heroes fit right into this mold. No matter what obstacle or new adventure comes along, Arcot, Morey, and Wade take the lead in producing new inventions to handle it. In this series and other stories he wrote, Campbell emphasizes self-reliance, responsibility, respect, and simple gentlemanly conduct; things seldom seen in more modern books of any genre. Also, the use of extraordinary mental powers, especially in “Islands of Space” and “Invaders From the Infinite”, could be seen as a harbinger of Campbell’s indulgence in Dianetics two decades later. My conclusion here is that John Campbell had such confidence in himself that it rubbed off onto his characters and plotlines, which makes perfectly good sense---writers do tend to put parts of themselves into their stories. In the case of the Arcot, Made and Morey stories, each character is a reflection of some part of their creator. Even in other writings, Campbell’s belief in the resiliency of the human spirit, of men uniting to overcome incredible hardships and obstacles, shows thru. Perhaps the best example of this is his 1951 short novel “The Moon Is Hell”, in which the first manned colony on the moon endures—barely—thru sheer will power to survive. Much like the Arcot, Wade and Morey tales, “The Moon Is Hell” documents how men adapt technology to survive, especially thru the human spirit. So the question may be raised, is it worth reading Campbell’s early work (ca. 1930-32) here in the 21st Century? I would have to answer that question with a yes. They are all great adventures, full of optimism for humanity’s future, setting an example of highly competent, self-reliant people being able to face any odds and win. If anything, reading the Arcot, Wade and Morey stories, also including “The Moon Is Hell” and “The Mightiest Machine”, shines a light on how, during the Great Depression years, that optimism and belief in one’s self never died out. Persevering thru those difficult years made America stronger and more resilient as a society. Perhaps more than anything, that is a lesson well learned for 21st century America.

References

Campbell; John W. The Black Star Passes; Cosmos Books, New York, 2008 Invaders From the Infinite; Ace Books, New York 1966 Islands of Space; Ace Books, New York, 1965 The Moon Is Hell; Ace Books, New York, 1973

Hartwell, David G. and Cramer, Kathryn (editors) The Space Opera Renaissance (Introduction); Tor Books, New York 2006 (pgs 10-18)

Tuck, Donald H. The Encyclopedia of Science Fiction and Fantasy; Advent Books; Chicago, 1974

ADDITIONAL NOTE---For those interested, many of these stories are now available for free reading/downloading thru the Project Gutenburg web site.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + Professor of English and ESOL (teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) at Blinn College in Bryan, Texas, John Purcell has also been at various times in his life an insurance assistant underwriter, worked at a pig-packing plant in Iowa, and a professional jazz musician. John gave that last one up for teaching because he needed a steady paycheck to take care of a growing family. Yes, he is married – for 23 years now – and has three children, all grown. Well, almost; the youngest is 17 and still living at home, but as soon as that kid is done with college and gets a job, he gets the boot and the locks on all the doors will subsequently be changed.

John currently publishes the online fanzine Askance, which is available for viewing and downloading at www.efanzines.com, also a paper-only personalzine Askew, and has been involved with science fiction fandom in one way or another for 40 years

9 now. He hosted the fanzine lounge at the just passed World Science Fiction Convention in San Antonio, Texas – LoneStarCon 3 – and thoroughly enjoyed attending his first world con since 1978! Thirty-five years? That's not too many...

“YOU BET YOUR LIFE”; OR,

HOW GROUCHO AND HIS

BROTHERS LEFT THEIR

MARX ON NETWORK RADIO

By

Robert Jennings and Wayne Boenig

The Marx Brothers, and especially the best known In addition the Marx Brothers, together or Marx brother, Groucho, had a long and distinguished career individually have often been acknowledged as a source of in show business that spanned two thirds of the Twentieth inspiration for performers, producers, writers and musicians Century, and left an indelible mark on the worlds of as diverse as Woody Allen and Johnny Carson to Freddie vaudeville, Broadway theater, movies, radio, and television. Mercury, Bugs Bunny, Ian Fleming, Hugh Hefner, Bill In addition to being stars together or singly in all Cosby and Robin Williams. If it isn’t exactly the Medici those varied formats, the Marx Brothers also exerted an Family for show business, at least it is a considerably enormous influence thruout the whole of show business interlinked legacy whose show business influences are still during the years they were active. Their original vaudeville being felt on down into this new century. appearance was shaped by legendary vaudevillian Al Shean The Marx Brothers were the sons of German of “Gallagher and Shean”. They were close personal Jewish immigrants living in New York City. Minnie friends with personalities as varied as Jack Benny, Bob Schoenberg was originally from Dornum in East Frisia, Hope, George S. Kaufman, George Jessell, Irving Thalberg, while their father Simon, nicknamed “Frenchie” was from George Burns and Eddie Cantor. In addition Marx family Alsace, now part of France. The original family name was ties were interwoven throughout the world of entertainment. Marrix, slightly Americanized to Marx when Papa Marx Sadye Marx, a cousin, married Jack Benny and became came to this country in 1880. Mary Livingstone. Her brother Hilliard Marx became a The entire family came from strong musical producer and syndicator for Jack Benny and many other backgrounds, and it was natural that all of the children radio and television shows. Zeppo Marx, became a would study music and take up at least one instrument. In prominent show business agent and not only represented this respect Harpo (birth name Adolph) was clearly the many influential stars but also helped arrange financing for most talented. He could play almost any instrument, but radio and television programs. There are many other Marx had a special affinity for the harp, from which he took his family connections that extend thruout the industry. stage name. Chico (real name Leonard) was an excellent piano player and had a flare for musical arrangement.

10 Groucho (real name Julius) was primarily a singer but he some additional thespians played unruly students. The could also play the guitar, and Gummo (real name Milton) 1913 touring season saw the group playing in ‘Mr. Green’s played the mandolin. Reception’. The original ‘Fun in Hi Skule’ act and a Much has been said about their mother Minnie and section of ‘Mr. Green’s Reception’ were polished and her role as a relentlessly driven stage mother propelling her tightened up by their uncle Al Shean where it was billed as entire family onto the vaudeville stage. Some of the stories ‘Home Again’ on the marquees. may even be true. What is know is that her brother Albert World War One saw a number of changes in the Schoenberg, performing as Al Shean, had a very successful act. Due to widespread anti-German feeling even before stage career as half of the “Gallagher and Shean” vaudeville the war officially began, the entire family tried to distance act. Life for a newly arrived German immigrant family was themselves from their German ancestry, including dropping not easy, and the stage seemed to offer better opportunities their very successful ‘Home Again’ skit. Harpo changed for the family to become financially secure. It seemed a his first name from Adolph to Arthur (a change that he natural step to venture onto the boards, especially after made legal in a widely publicized event in the late 1930s Minnie convinced her brother to help work up an original while Adolph Hitler was heading Nazi Germany.) In act. addition Gummo left the group to join the army, famously Groucho hit the stage first. In 1905 he was the declaring that “Anything is better than being an actor.” His junior partner, a boy soprano according to Groucho’s place was taken by the final brother Zeppo (real birth name comments years later, in a singing trio known as “The Herbert), who stayed with the group thru the early 1930s. LeRoy Trio”. They apparently weren’t very good. The By now the group was officially known as “The group broke up in Denver without even completing their Four Marx Brothers”. Biographies written by several of the first tour when Groucho’s voice began to change, leaving brothers have consistently emphasized how much of their 14 year old Groucho stranded and having to work his way stage personality was developed and refined by their uncle back home alone. Remarkably, this did not sour Groucho Al Shean. Groucho began using a greasepaint mustache or the rest of the family on the world of show business. and eyebrows and walked with a stoop. Harpo adopted a Groucho and Gummo were performing in 1907 red fright wig and top hat, carried a bulb taxi horn and with Mabel O’Donnell as “The Three Nightingales”. The never spoke on stage. Chico adopted a fake Italian accent following year Harpo joined and the group became “The (apparently developed in his younger days as a way of Four Nightingales.” This didn’t last too long as there were dealing with neighborhood toughs) with a round-point apparently a few problems with Miss O’Donnell’s singing small-brim hat. Zeppo became the wide-eyed innocent capabilities. She was replaced by Lou Levy. By 1910 straight man of the act. Chico was in the group along with Minnie Marx and her Off stage Zeppo was considered to be the funniest sister Hannah. The group was now known as “The Six member of the family, and also being the youngest, he had Mascots,” Lou Levy having left the group. This incarnation spent many years watching his older brothers perform, so played to erratic success, with most of their performances in that he was able to imitate almost any of them to perfection, the hinterlands. There were some indications that Minnie a very useful trait if one of the other brothers happened to and Hannah’s voices did not necessarily blend with those of be ill or had a head cold and was unable to speak during the the boys all that well. act. Groucho is said to had stated that during the filming of According to legend they were playing the town of the movie “Animal Crackers” that Zeppo’s imitation of Nacogdoches, Texas when their act was interrupted by Groucho doing Captain Spaulding was so good that he, shouts from the outside about a runaway mule. The opera house emptied out to see the spectacle. When the audience, most of it, finally returned, Groucho, now thoroughly steamed, made as few choice comments about the town and the state, and the people who lived in the town and the state. Instead of being booed off the stage, the audience broke up in laughter, to the astonishment of at least five of the “Six Mascots” standing in front of the footlights. From that point on the act began to change. From strictly music, the act now added in comedy. As the comedy skits and patter became clearly more popular, the act became almost entirely comedy with just a bit of music. Mother Minnie and Aunt Hannah both dropped out when it became clear that the act was being dominated by the young men, who displayed a real talent for comedy material. One of the most popular and longest lasting of those comedy skits was a half-hour long routine developed in 1912 featuring a school room situation in which Groucho was the German accented teacher and his brothers with

11 Groucho, “would have let him play the part indefinitely, if they had allowed me to smoke in the audience.” The development of the stage names for the brothers is shrouded in show biz mystery. A commonly accepted belief is that the names were coined by Art Fisher, a vaudeville monologist, during a poker game, using references to “Knocko The Monk” or perhaps it was “Sherlocko the Monk”, popular comic strips of the day, both created by Gus Mager, famous for picturing caricatures of people as monkeys based on their personality traits, all ending in the letter ‘O’. The “Knocko” strip came out in 1904, then developed into “Sherlocko” in December of 1910, and later evolved into “Hawkshaw the Detective.” According to this version Julius Marx got his stage name because he either carried his money in a pouch known as a “grouch bag” which hung around his neck or because that was a name from the comic strip, depending on which member of the family you were asking. Harpo’s name was an easy fit; he played the harp and was a master of the instrument. Groucho was also probably an easy fit. Altho witty, charming, personable and articulate, he also had a bad temper. He could be morose, disagreeable and downright nasty with his razor-tongued insults, a personality trait very well known among family After being in vaudeville for twenty years, most of members. Chico’s name is said to have been developed it successfully, the bright lights of Broadway finally from his on-stage Italian personality and became he was beckoned. By the early 1920s the brothers were somewhat known on-stage and even more so off-stage as being very less enthusiastic about the endless touring of vaudeville, fond of the “chicks”, as young women were referred to in and the idea of taking an entire summer off, the way most those days. star vaudeville acts were expected to do, also did not appeal Origins of the other stage names are more to their restless spirits. So when Joseph M. Gaites offered complex, altho the desire to have all members of the act them starring roles in a musical revue to be titled “I’ll Say with names ending in ‘O’ probably forced some She Is!” they immediately accepted the offer. compromises. Harpo claimed that “Gummo” got his name That’s the official publicity release version. because he crept around theaters like a gumshoe detective. The darker underside of this move was that the In a 1949 interview with Radio Mirror Magazine Groucho team had gotten into a dispute with E. F. Albee, powerful claimed the name came from the fact that his brother wore owner of one of the major vaudeville circuits after an his galoshes, were called gum shoes in those days, rain or unsuccessful tour of England. Albee banned them from all shine. his theaters. The team promptly moved over to the Zeppo was so named either because of a reference alternate Shubert Circuit, but their efforts to put together a to the lighter-than-air zeppelins, his similarity to Zippo the different kind of act there had not been particularly Chimp who could do on-stage chin-ups, or because of the successful, and in fact, the Schuberts had decided to get out “Zeke and Zeb” jokes which were popular at the time, or of the vaudeville business entirely. because they needed another name that ended in the letter O This revue was actually a spliced together offering and they saw a mute clown named Zeppo on a playbill, based on the remains of two previous shows which Gaites again, depending on which family member you happened to had produced, both of which had fallen by the wayside ask. almost immediately. The story goes that Chico ran into his By this point Groucho was doing most of the friend Tom Johnstone, a song writer who was also a friend writing for the act. Groucho’s ability to calmly ad-lib of Gaites. Gaites’ backer Joseph P. Beury had just hilarious dialog under difficult circumstances became a purchased an empty theater in Philadelphia, and Gaites had show business legend early on in their careers. more or less promised to have a show ready within the next Chico as the oldest brother became the manager of three weeks, but he didn’t have a show. What he had was a the act after mama Minnie retired. He became well known lot of miscellaneous scenery in storage left over from some as a personable and instantly likable character who could of his previous productions. charm even cold hearted theater managers. But with an act When Chico explained that the Marx Brothers as hot as “The Four Marx Brothers” that wasn’t too were out of work with no immediate prospects, Johnstone difficult. While not charming theater managers and instantly realized that Gaites could use the team to build a booking agents he spent a great deal of his time charming new show around. Gaites agreed. But it all had to be done an endless succession of beautiful young women. very quickly; they only had a few weeks to get the entire

12 revue done. Tom wrote new songs for the production, The Marx Brothers themselves did take note of the while his brother Will B. Johnstone was hired to do the critics. Groucho teamed up with writers George S. rewriting and cobbling, and to mix in a series of Marx Kaufman and Morrie Ryskind on their 1925 followup, “The Brothers skits both new and old. Muriel Hudson was Cocoanuts”, which was even more successful than their originally cast as the show’s female star, but was replaced initial Broadway offering, running 275 performances and later by Lotta Miles (apparently her real name), playing a then doing two years on the road. rich girl out looking for thrills. What Kaufman and Ryskind realized had been After a couple of dismal try-outs, the finished missing in their first show and even in their vaudeville acts, version of “I’ll Say She Is!” opened in Philadelphia in May was structure: a format with a central theme within which of 1923, then played the outer city circuit before finally the Marx Brothers could perform their outrageous antics debuting on Broadway a year later on May 19, 1924. and still be part of an ongoing focused production. The Broadway premiere opened to mixed reviews. “The Cocoanuts” made the Marx Brothers the Except for powerful critic Alexander Woollcott of The New toast of New York and proved that they were not just a Yorker Magazine, who loved the entire revue, virtually ever fluke or a three-joke vaudeville act transplanted by luck to a other reviewer remarked that altho the songs in the show successful show. “Animal Crackers” also by Groucho, were pleasant enough, the irreverent, undisciplined, Kaufman and Ryskind followed in 1928 and became their boisterous acts the Marx Brothers performed did not fit, and most highly regarded Broadway stage production, running were both confrontational and disturbingly chaotic. 191 performances, a full season. It was laid off in the At the same time almost everybody had something summer of 1929, then went on tour in October. good to say about at least some parts of the act. Harpo Hollywood in the form of Paramount Pictures took received an especially warm reception, and most spoke well notice and wanted the team for movies. The Marx Brothers of Groucho as a performer, but not for some of the skits he were eager to answer the call. The first movie for was in. Several critics complained that Groucho departed Paramount was to be a film version of “The Cocoanuts.” from the script and went into a long series of ad-libs which This was shot at the New York Astoria Studios as a had even the cast on stage breaking up in laughter. “talkie”, with most of the filming taking place in the The public was intrigued. Word of mouth among afternoons, since the brothers had to be on stage in the paying customers quickly turned it into a smash success. evenings for performances of “Animal Crackers”. “I’ll Say She Is” played thru 1925, a two year run, one on Stories about the making of this movie, and the road and one on Broadway, a very respectable run “Animal Crackers” which followed, also filmed in New during a decade when most music-comedy revues were York, have achieved almost epic proportions. People who expected to last about a single season before being cancelled. This production proved to be both a godsend and the turning point in the career of the Marx Brothers. They had effectively been ejected from vaudeville and were running out of money, seriously considering breaking up the team or even quitting show business entirely when the opportunity to do “I’ll Say She Is!” dropped into their laps. They were a hit with the public, if not necessarily with the critics, and they used this success as a springboard to launch the rest of their career.

13 filming, an expensive film shoot due to the antics of the stars, caused Paramount to demand that the next movie be made in Hollywood, where, presumably, studio personnel could exert tighter control on these exuberant new stars. By this time Groucho was already an established humor writer, with many articles and stories being published in newspapers and magazines as diverse as The New York Times to Collier’s Magazine, The New Yorker and College Humor. In 1930 Bobbs-Merill brought out his first hardcover book, titled “Beds”. He looked on the move to Hollywood as a golden opportunity culminating the team’s years of hard work. The team also looked at the move as a nearly miraculous financial salvation. Their mother had died in 1929, but she had lived long enough to see her sons as the toast of Broadway. Meanwhile the stock market crash and the Depression had virtually wiped them out. The Depression caused most movie studios including Paramount to look for escapist material. You could hardly be more detached from reality than with the Marx Brothers who specialized in unrelenting confrontational satires of every authority figure or institution they encountered. Their zany antics often bordered on insanity, or at least anarchy, and their next Paramount release “Monkey Business,” which took place on an ocean liner, made full use of their natural talents. The follow-up movie, “Horse Feathers”, featuring a send-up of were present during the filming declare that the lot was a the American college system and Prohibition. It was their near Bedlam situation. most successful film yet, winning them a cover on Time Every time director Robert Florey was ready to do Magazine in the process. a shot, one of the brothers would be missing. Harpo was This film also completed the developed of Harpo’s the only unmarried brother at the time, so he was either out stage personality, with his now magical long coat. At trying to romance some sweet young thing on the set or various times during the movie he pulled from his coat such hidden away practicing his harp. Chico, officially married unlikely items as a fish, a coiled rope, a big wooden mallet, for a decade, was happy to pursue anything in skirts, but a sword, a cup of steaming hot coffee and a candle which more often abandoned the set to sit in on a poker or was burning at both ends. pinochle game, but only if the game was being played for In 1933 “Duck Soup” came out, their last money, not points, where he would almost always lose. Paramount film. This did well at the box office, but it was Groucho apparently considered the shooting schedule a certainly not as successful as “Horse Feathers”. However it matter of convenience, his, and thought nothing of taking did finish up as the sixth best grossing film of the year. the afternoon off to hobnob with his pals at the Hillcrest The timing of “Duck Soup” was unfortunate, since County Club where the constitutional amendment it was a biting satire of dictators, diplomacy, and the prohibiting the sale of alcohol had never been officially general lunacy of warfare. That same year Benito recognized. None of the Marx Brothers took anything Mussolini was rattling sabers and frightening politicians seriously, including bothering to learn any of the lines for world-wide with his declared ambition of turning the the film which might differ from the stage play. Mediterranean Sea into Italy’s private protectorate and Florey’s solution was to bring four full sized cages establish a naval base on the Greek island of Leros to onto the set, with a nametag for each Marx brother. After achieve that goal. Adolph Hitler had just come to power in shooting a scene the brothers would be escorted to their Germany, and was busy demonstrating how rapidly he individual cages and the doors would be locked until the could turn a democracy into a dictatorship. Meanwhile next scene was ready to shoot. Chico would only consent Japan was invading China without bothering to declare war, to this treatment if his cage contained a telephone, so he while Josef Stalin was in the process of finishing up his first could call his bookie and place bets. nationwide purge of “traitorous” engineers, technicians and Despite all of that the film was made. The 1929 scientists who had “deliberately sabotaged” the glorious release “Cocoanuts” proved to be a very successful early planning of Soviet industrial development. The movie’s talkie, and in 1930 “Animal Crackers” was an actual box theme meant that foreign revenues on the film would be office block-buster. The experience with the New York limited.

14 By now the team had shrunk from four members to three. Brother Zeppo left the act after “Duck Soup” to become a show business agent. He began business by representing his brothers, together and singly, and he continued to so thru the late 1940s when he left show business to go into manufacturing airplane parts. Much later he moved to Florida where he got into the citrus growing business. He was a good businessman, picking up many important clients over the years as an agent and even became something of a power broker helping to arrange production and financing on behalf of his clients’ many entertainment projects. Paramount dropped the crew after the release of “Duck Soup”, and it has become fashionable among Marx fans to blame the movie’s anti-fascist theme and its lower box office figures as the reason for the break, but there is more reason to believe that behind the scenes situations either the actual bad guys, or who were the personification were the real cause of the separation. of pretensions snobbery. Paramount was happy with the box office revenues Margaret Dumont became the perfect foil for the from the Marx Brothers, either four brothers or three, but boys in this last category, the absolute ultimate caricature of they were not happy with the brothers themselves. They the stuck-up high society matron. She began appearing were reportedly being paid $200,000 per picture, plus 50% with the team in “The Cocoanuts” in both the stage and the of the net profits on their movies. However there was a movie versions, and went on to appear in five more of their considerably amount of sparring and open disagreements, movies. Groucho referred to her as “the fifth Marx sometimes bitter, personal and vicious, about how the Brother.” She projected naive ladylike innocence to pictures should be developed, how the comedy skits should Groucho’s perpetual leer, and perfected the character of the be handled and especially how the team should be treated. regal society lady who never quite got a joke no matter how Groucho, Harpo and Chico believed, with some obvious it might be. justification, that the studio had no respect for either their In addition Thalberg suggested that non-comedic art or them personally and that Paramount regarded them as musical numbers be scattered throughout the pictures, and disposable “Kleenix” stars, useful while they sold theater to make the mixture even more inviting, their old tickets, but not really part of the Paramount ‘family’. collaborator George S. Kaufman was added as the principle In 1933 they attempted to form their own writer for the script. production company to turn their friend George S. “A Night At the Opera” came out in 1935, and was Kaufman’s Broadway musical political satire “Of Thee I Sing” into a movie. In November 1933 Harpo made a tour of Russia as a good-will ambassador. Neither of these moves endeared them to the bigwigs at Paramount. Meanwhile Chico had become close friends with producer Irving Thalberg. At the suggestion of Thalberg, the team moved to MGM. This was a match made in Hollywood heaven. Irving Thalberg was a genuine motion picture genius, a man who instinctively knew and understood how to make successful movies of every type. A well read intellectual, he also had a keen eye for what the public liked, and more importantly, he had the ability to visualize stars and writers in exactly the right kinds of movies to fit their talents and how to showcase those talents best on film. What Thalberg instinctively realized was that the quickly hailed as a masterpiece. It packed theaters not only Marx Brothers needed a structured direction for their nation-wide, but also around the world in a hilarious send- comedy. This was similar to the innovations George S. up of the world of opera. In 1937 “A Day At the Races” Kaufman had introduced in their Broadway shows. What was an even more phenomenal success. Thalberg did was to offer story plots in which the Marx Unfortunately disaster struck during the 1936 Brothers were friends of the underdog, often young star planning of this film---Irving Thalberg died of pneumonia crossed lovers, whom they would attempt to aid in their on September 14, 1936, at age 37. His overall health had own unique way, while they could vent and wreck their never been very good, but it was an ironic twist that he had comedic vengeance on those people in the story who were visited the home of one of the Marx brothers without

15 bothering to take along a coat or sweater, had been association. The Five Star format was Standard Oil’s drenched in a sudden cloudburst, and then developed the response and an effort to expand their market share using pneumonia that killed him a few weeks later. similar radio tactics. Groucho and Chico were the Monday The death of Thalberg, the guiding genius behind night leader for the series, and the only comedy program in MGM, not only left the studio in disarray, it also left the that schedule. You could hardly have asked for anything Marx Brothers without a friend and champion at the studio. better. Meanwhile it had become obvious to the boys, Groucho and some of the other brothers had done particularly Groucho, that the world of entertainment was a few news, interview and general publicity broadcasts rapidly changing. Vaudeville had died a quick hard death previously, but this was their first real experience with with the first months of the Depression, and altho movies network radio, and they jumped in with both feet. were still doing well, the world of broadcast radio was The show originally began with the title “Beagle, increasingly gaining prominence as a favorite medium of Shyster, and Beagle”, but a real law firm named Beagle popular entertainment. objected, in the form of a threatened lawsuit, and the name The Marx Brothers, and in particular Groucho, was hastily changed with the fifth show. The program was were determined to somehow break into and master this primarily broadcast from New York, but sometimes it came new medium. There were unfortunately, many difficulties out of Los Angeles, at enormous added expense to the along the way which nobody could have anticipated. sponsor, since the radio transmission lines ran east to west As popular vaudeville, stage and movie stars, as and the networks charged murderous rates to reverse the well as being friends with many top radio performers of the feed. day, it would have been relatively easy to arrange some Rumor had it that the brothers barely bothered to guest spots on a variety of programs to test the waters. rehearse for their on-air performances. For their efforts However, that was not the Marx Brothers way. Groucho and Chico were remarkably well compensated, Beginning on November 28, 1932, “Flywheel, Shyster, and especially considering that 1932 was the heart of the Flywheel” a thirty minute prime-time radio show Depression. For each of the fifteen minute skits they were premiered, of which fifteen minutes, the heart of the show, reportedly paid $6,500. By way of comparison, in that would be devoted to brothers Groucho and Chico. This same year close to two thirds of the nation’s families were began on NBC as part of the “Five Star Theater” of shows. living on less than $1,350 per year, about $26 a week. For It was sponsored by Standard Oil and was aired in the that kind of money the brothers were also expected to do at seven-thirty time slot. least one sixty second commercial per show promoting The “Five Stars” in the title apparently referred to Esso gasoline. the five separate petroleum divisions of the Standard Oil The show featured Groucho as the malpractice conglomerate who banded together to promote their Esso attorney Waldorf T. Flywheel. Chico was Emanuel Ravelli, gasoline and motor oils. As the program’s opening his bungling assistant. Harpo, know on stage and in the proclaimed, they presented “Five stellar productions each movies for never speaking, was absent from most of these week. Every night a first night. With the world’s greatest episodes, and Zeppo had apparently already made his singers, musicians, actors, writers, and speakers decision to leave the act and become an agent, so he was collaborating in a gigantic entertainment program for your not present at all. The program also featured a singer enjoyment. This, in a word, is the Five Star Theater.” performing at least one song per show along with some Other nights of the week featured performers such popular instrumental orchestra music to fill out the half as Josef Bonime’s hour. orchestra with John Writing for this series is credited to Nat Perrin and Charles Thomas as Arthur Sheekman, aided by assorted assistants including soloist, a George Oppenheimer and Tom McKnight. Nat Perrin went dramatization of a on to movie and television writing fame in later years, and romantic adventure is most familiar today as the writer for many of the Abbott novel, a condensed and Costello movies and the producer of such TV series as opera presentation, “The Addams Family.” and a program Arthur Sheekman was one of the very few adapting popular professional writers that Groucho knew and trusted. detective novels to Sheekman was originally a newspaper columnist and critic. radio. Groucho liked his writing style and had specifically Texaco had contacted him asking his help in creating Hollywood sponsored Ed Wynn scenarios for the team. He and Groucho had also pooled as the Texaco Fire their efforts to write for Max Gordon’s Broadway revue Chief and had “Three’s a Crowd”. He had been responsible for doing the racked up screenplay for “Monkey Business”, after Groucho rejected impressive sales the original script by S. J. Perelman as being too literary, gains with the even tho Sheekman’s script closely followed the one

16 Perelman had turned in. He also worked on “Duck Soup” doing additional dialog for the team and went on to write many other movies, and remained Groucho’s close friend for life, assisting Groucho on his many published books. The series ran thru May 22, 1933, twenty-six shows, and are important for Marx Brothers scholars and collectors because many separate routines which were test- played on the radio programs appeared in their later movies. Then again, some of the radio skits were recycled with little or no change from their earlier movies and theater work. For many years it was believed that not a single one of these radio programs had survived so none had ever been actually heard by collectors. However Michael Barson, a long time Marx Brothers fan, researched the program thru the files of the Library of Congress, and discovered that all but one of the scripts had been lodged for copyright. Only the script for program #21 was missing. A book presenting all twenty-five of those scripts was released by Pantheon Press in October 1988 in a Trade Paperback format, then later as a hardback. The book is no longer in print, but many used copies can be found among internet book services such as Alibris.com at very reasonable prices. A group of actors imitating the Marx Brothers recreated six of these scripts on BBC radio in 1990. This proved to be so popular with British listeners that six more scripts were recreated the following year, and a final group of six were adapted in 1992. Michael Roberts was featured stars playing the other cast roles included Spike Mulligan in the Groucho role of Waldo T. Flywheel, Frank Lazarus and Dick Vosbrugh. The first batch of these recreations played the part of Chico doing Emmanuel Revelli, while were rerun on BBC Radio 2, and copies have been released Lorelei King played all the female roles. Notable guest on CD thru the BBC Radio Service. Then, miraculously, in the late 1990s a transcription copy of one of the original programs, the final show, surfaced, along with partial copies of two others. Since then the copies have gone into general circulation among the radio collecting community, and copies of all three transcriptions are available as streaming audio files over the internet at whyaduck.com, so modern radio fans can now hear what some of the originals shows were like. Altho very interesting to hardcore fans of the Marx Brothers, what the scripts clearly show, and what the short run of the radio series bears out, is that radio was not a medium the Marx Brothers as a team were ever going to master. Their wild, chaotic skits depended on visual as well as vocal comedy skills. This material, while ideal for the vaudeville stage or the motion picture screen, did not work well on radio. In addition, a look at the scripts and listening to the surviving audio clips demonstrate that the pattern of jokes, particularly one-liners, came so fast that it would have been very difficult for the average listener to have kept up with the flow. There is also precious little story plotting. The skits serve primarily as a vehicle for whatever puns, jokes and humorous insults can be mined from each particular separate situation. When the scene changes, the pattern of joke material shifts with it, with no particularly relationship to the events that came before it.

17 The show started off with very solid ratings The brothers revisited this concept again in 1937 numbers due to the fame of the Marx Brothers from their when they did an eight minute radio skit aired for “Leo Is Broadway shows and movies. Indeed the C.A.B. radio On the Air”. “Leo Is On The Air” was an MGM fifteen rating service placed the show as the twelfth most popular minute program used to promote the studio’s upcoming program of the 1932-33 season with final totals of 22.1, but movie releases. They performed a skit in which they that was averaging in the impressive beginning listener promoted their new movie “A Day At the Races,” and the count with the steadily falling numbers that developed after skit is full of references to ‘The Marx of Time’ and ‘Time the first five weeks. In fact by the end of the run the show Marxes On!’ in parody of the original “March of Time” had sunk like a rock in the ratings, and even the national movie shorts. popularity of the Marx Brothers could not save it. Following the failure of “The Marx of Time” By way of comparison, the top show on the air Groucho and Chico appeared as guest stars on several was Eddie Cantor with a ratting of 58.6. Jack Pearl was the network programs. Chico was a guest on the “Burns and second most popular show with 47.2, Ed Wynn came in Allen” show of November 29, 1933, and on May of 1934 third with 44.8 and Maxwell House Showtime had 34.6 for both brothers were on “Hall of Fame”. fourth place. The Flywheel show finished below “The Also beginning in 1935 all of the team appeared Sinclair Weiner Minstrels” at 22.7 and just barely managed occasionally on “Hedda Hopper’s Hollywood Hotel”, to top the “Chevrolet Program” with a rating of 22.0. The sponsored by Campbell’s Soups, for which they were paid “Chevrolet Program”’s only appeal was that it featured Al nothing. (Hedda Hopper used her clout as a Hollywood Jolson. “Amos and Andy” and “Myrt and Marge” appeared gossip columnist to get free appearances by show business opposite each other on NBC and CBS in the 7:00 time slot personalities, and pocketed all the money Campbell and their totals were 29.4 and 24.2 each respectively, budgeted to the show for guest appearances.) These meaning that almost none of the goodwill from the previous appearances were for short skits based on their new movie timeslot carried over to the Marx Brothers show. releases and were clearly studio arranged publicity Even so, Standard Oil might have considered offerings promoting their latest films. sponsoring another year if it had not been such an In 1935 an audition disk was cut for “The Marx expensive program to produce. In addition, none of the Brothers Show”. The subtitle was “Hollywood Agents,” a other shows in their “Five Star Parade” cracked the top possible jab at brother Zeppo’s new profession. For years twenty, or even got near the top twenty. An enormous cash many collectors believed this was made in 1938, however investment in radio programming had apparently not references to personalities such as Jean Harlow, who died in resulted in the sales gains they had hoped for, so the 1937, use of music from “A Night at the Opera” and the company exited the radio business with the end of the appearance of Hollace Shaw, who by 1936 was a regular season. This was such a bitter blow that the company never singer on the CBS “Saturday Night Serenade” program, sponsored another national radio program again, only clearly place this as a 1935 production. Unfortunately this reentering the popular entertainment business decades later audition went nowhere. after television had proven it’s appeal. On September 1, 1936, on the “Camel Caravan However, Groucho and Chico were nothing if not Show” Groucho and Chico performed a skit called ‘The determined. Adventures of Mr. Diffle and Mr. Daffle In Hollywood’. On March 4, 1934, the first episode of “The Marx For this skit they were promptly sued for plagiarism by of Time” appeared. This was a satirical take-off of the Garnett Graham and Earl Carroll. The plaintiffs claimed popular “March of Time” current events radio and film that they had sent the skit to the Marx Brothers, but had series of the day. This show ran for eight weeks, thru 22 never received payment for the material. The brothers Apr 1934, with Groucho playing reporter Ulysses H. claimed they had received the skit from Al Boasberg, a Drivel, assisted by Chico as “Pinelli”. American Oil was script broker, who represented it as being his property. The the sponsor, and the show was carried regionally on CBS in situation was complicated by the fact that Boasberg had those parts of the nation where American Oil had a died of a heart attack earlier in 1937, so obviously he could marketing presence, primarily the northeast. Harpo not testify as to his involvement one way or the other. apparently appeared on two episodes of this show. This civil suit was originally lodged in Atlanta, Again, no copies of this show are available for GA, home of the plaintiffs, for $26,000, but the plaintiffs collectors to hear. It would appear that the format held a and the Marx Brothers settled out of court for $7,500. great deal more promise than the “Flywheel” program. However the judge also charged them with a misdemeanor Focusing on satirizing current news events should have violation of the federal copyright laws. That action went to given free reign for both Groucho and Chico’s comedy trial, where the Marx Brothers lost in November of 1937. strengths, yet the show only ran eight weeks. Some of the The Atlanta Constitution reported that the jury was out team’s movie commitments may have interfered with the “only briefly” before finding them guilty. The judge development of this program, however the very short run of slapped them with a $1000 fine for the incident. the series does not argue well for its appeal to either the Groucho and Chico continued to make sporadic public or the sponsor. guest appearances. On October 25, 1938 Harpo Marx appeared on the intellectual quiz show “Information

18 Please”. This was a disastrous appearance that had him million dollars for a year of the production. “About as honking and whistling thru the entire show, and much,” according to Time Magazine in their review of the demonstrated once and for all that Harpo’s character had no program, “as it would cost (retail) to pave the way from place on radio in any format. Manhattan to Hollywood with boxes of corn flakes.” Meanwhile, things were happening in the world of $25,000 per week was budgeted for the salaries of movies. In 1938 they strayed over to RKO to make “Room the big name stars alone. However ego and deadline Service”. Then came three MGM flicks “At the Circus” in scripting problems with the name stars which include 1939, “Go West” in 1940, and “The Big Store” in 1941. people such as Ronald Coleman, Basil Rathbone, Carole These were all enjoyable, but certainly not up to the high Lombard, Cary Grant, and others associated with the standards set by their earlier Paramount or MGM releases. program created almost immediate problems. The movie Around this same period Groucho tried his hand at personalities apparently were asked to submit possible writing screenplays for the movies. His script for “The discussion topics to the program in advance, and they often King and the Chorus Girl” was accepted and turned into a called one another up first, to see how their suggestions movie in 1937. A collaboration with Ken Englund was not. might go with other members of the panel. If a topic hit a Back on the radio frontier Groucho and Chico nerve, other cast members would privately agree not to were still trying to come up with an idea that would let appear that week so as not to embarrass the one who them master the medium. From 15 January thru 9 July objected. This led to an increasingly chaotic program with 1939, both were regular panelists on a talk show called either precious few stars on the air, or lots of them making “The Circle”. small talk about boring and totally safe topics. Meanwhile war in Europe had broken out in September of 1939 and was sucking most of the nations on the planet into the fray. Despite widespread public isolationist sentiment, it was clearly only a matter of time before the United States would be in the war too. By 1940 and 1941 a whole flurry of Groucho’s essays and articles were being published regularly in the top magazines of the day. Some of them even made it into hardback collections. One of his books “Many Happy Returns” was a humorous look at taxes and put forward the suggestion that the nation would be better off if everybody decided to stop paying taxes entirely. This book appeared on New Year’s Day of 1942, only a few weeks after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. The timing could not have been worse. Simon and Schuster remaindered the volume by the end of the year. Chico decided that he would sidetrack comedy and seek a career making use of his musical talent and organizational skills. In late 1941 or early 1942 he formed his own orchestra. He appeared at supper clubs and dance halls and sometimes made appearances with his brother Harpo. Bobby Clark was signed on as the male vocalist early in the band’s career and Chico’s band even played some network radio dates. Later on a young Mel Torme was the featured singer. The time was right for dance orchestras, but there is no indication that Chico’s group offered anything new, unique or special in the way of popular big band music, and indeed, the band broke up in the summer of 1943. For the 1941 season, thru July 15 1942, Groucho The concept was to bring together “the elite of the was a semi-regular on the Rudy Vallee Sealtest program. entertainment world”, to discuss subjects that might come Vallee’s program, a longtime 1930’s rating winner had up naturally at a social gathering of such individuals, suffered problems with the end of the decade and was including music, poetry, and drama, along with other more attempting to recreate itself with a comedy and music frivolous matters. Sponsored by Kellogg’s Corn Flakes, format. Groucho’s appearances were apparently scripted by this was a heavily scripted program which strived to sound Valee’s regular writers with little or no input from Groucho spontaneous. himself. Groucho and Chico apparently had high hopes for this program, and so did Kellogg’s who had budgeted two

19 By 1941 and the release of “The Big Store” it was returned to the air in the fall, they had a brand new star, clear to everybody in the team that they were not going to presumably one that would drink his sponsor’s product. make it together in radio. In fact the brothers had started to Once more Groucho did guest appearances around drift apart creatively and in other ways as well. In April radio row, including a spot in January 1944 on the first they announced that they were officially breaking up the show of “Orson Welles’ Radio Almanac”, a short lived Marx Brothers. Groucho’s first marriage (of three official effort in which Welles attempted a folksy mix of marriages) was also about to break up. His final divorce information, variety and comedy. degree was granted in In the fall of 1944 things looked up again as July of 1942. Groucho became a frequent guest on the ”Bird’s Eye Open Groucho decided to House,” better known as the Dinah Shore Show. This strike out on his own proved to be an almost regular gig which lasted thru the and find some radio spring of 1946, a solid two year run. Groucho appeared in a format that would suit wide variety of skits that offered a considerable range of his his talents. acting and comedic talents. Spoofs of popular movies of Meanwhile, he was in the day were common, but so were skits in which he steady demand as a depicted a wide range of different character types. In one guest on many popular show he might be a down and out hotel manager who desperately wants to sell his building, while another show Groucho visits the Pabst Brewery might find him playing himself as he invites Dinah to a in Milwaukee (1944) Thanksgiving dinner where everything seems to go wrong. This program achieved a season’s ranking slot of network shows, as well as making a long series of 16th place with a Hooper rating of 17.6 in 1944, and appearances on Armed Forces Radio programs such as continued to hold onto strong numbers thruout the next two “Command Performance”, “Mail Call” and “G.I. Journal”. years. Other regular guests included Ozzie and Harriet and During his appearances on “Command occasional appearances by Peter Lorie, but it was clear to Performance” he was often requested to sing the song everyone that Groucho’s comedy skits had been a solid ‘Lydia the Tattooed Lady’ from the “At the Circus” movie. contributing factor to the program’s success Over the months the lyrics to this interesting tune changed, Meanwhile, he continued to make the circuit as becoming somewhat more varied and always slightly more guest star on many big name programs. He did a spot on risqué. Movie censorship was stricter than radio the Chase and Sanborn 1945 summer show, then had a censorship, and censorship standards were lowered even prestige role as a judge in a two part Norman Corwin farther when dealing with a program created for Armed fantasy ‘The Undecided Molecule’ for “Columbia Presents Forces Radio and intended to be broadcast only to our Corwin” in July 1945. He was on the Ginny Simms show fighting troops overseas. twice that winter. In February of 1947 he did a couple of In 1943 it looked as tho the radio spotlight was at appearances on Bing Crosby’s network program. last going to shine his way. He became a regular on “The He took time out of his busy schedule to wed Kay Pabst Blue Ribbon Town” beginning with the March 27th Gorcey, former wife of Leo Gorcey, in July 1945, his program. Out of the sixty-three show run of this comedy second marriage. variety offering, Groucho appeared sixty-two times. Other Somewhere around this same time period other featured performers included Virginia O’Brien, Leo Gorcey problems begin to develop with the family. Chico, in (yes, that Leo Gorcey), and Donald Dickson, with music addition to being an incurable womanizer, also had a provided by the Robert Armbruster orchestra. Groucho serious gambling habit. It was an addiction that plunged even managed to slip his brothers onto a few shows. Chico him deeply into debt. The team decided to make another appeared at least three times as a guest host, and Harpo quick movie together to raise money to pay off Chico’s contributed to the final program. enormous gambling debts. Much of the series was apparently broadcast on the There was nothing subtle or innovative about the road as the cast performed from various military camps film that followed. “A Night in Casablanca” came out in around the country, which may explain why so few of these 1946 for United Artists. The plot involved a Nazi war programs have survived. criminal who wants a job as a hotel manager for ulterior The show left the air for the summer break in motives and thinks nothing of killing off his rivals in order 1944, but when it returned in the fall Danny Kaye was the to get the job. This film had many excellent sight gags and star. Groucho went to Milwaukee to meet the executives of it did well at the box office, but making it was a serious the Pabst company before the end of the 1944 season. physical strain on all the brothers and it was not a Publicity photos of this visit were made and were released. production the boys were willing to brag about in later Copies of all those shots are in the hands of collectors. The years. story goes that at a dinner out with the Pabst top brass Another movie involving all the Marx Brothers Groucho jokingly ordered a Miller beer with the meal. The was “Love Happy” which came out in 1949. “Love Pabst executives were not amused. When the Pabst show Happy” was originally going to be a movie featuring just

20 to be. For years Groucho had felt that his major handicap on network radio was the fact that he was chained to scripted material which did not suit his particular comedy style. Guedel had done radio before. He had worked with Art Linkletter to create “People Are Funny”, a hit radio show which became even more popular when visuals were added with television. He also featured Linkletter on “House Party”. He had been responsible for turning big band leader and big band singer “Ozzie and Harriet” into a hit radio sitcom. He had had the title “You Harpo. But Harpo convinced the producers to add Chico to Bet Your Life” in the back of his mind for over a year, the cast, knowing his brother was always in need of money originally intending it to be a fifteen minute daily program due to his gambling. The producers then insisted that the more or less based on current events. He worked for a movie ought to have all three brothers, and Groucho was week or so before coming up with the revised format for a persuaded, very reluctantly, to join the cast as well. But he radio program still to be called “You Bet Your Life”, which did not perform with his brothers. All his scenes, which he then presented to Groucho. were few in number, were shot separately, and edited into And Groucho immediately hated the entire the rest of the film. Today “Love Happy” is primarily concept. The idea of going from big box-office movie star, remembered not as a Marx Brothers movie, but as the film respected comedian, popular guest star on all the top radio which introduced Marilyn Monroe to the world. programs of the day, to becoming master of ceremonies on Chico and Harpo began appearing in night clubs a quiz show, of all things, would represent a dramatic step- and revues, sometimes working together. When gambling down in his opinion and would likely be seen as complete caught on in Las Vegas, they worked more or less regularly failure in the eyes of the rest of the show business world. at various casino shows. But Guedel persisted. The program would be a In April of 1946 Groucho cut yet another audition quiz show in name, but the quiz part would be almost disk, titled “The Beverly-Groucho Hotel”. Probably incidental to the actual meat of the show, which would developed from a couple of skits on the Dinah Shore show, feature Groucho interviewing and talking with interesting this audition program was never aired. He was also people from a wide variety of backgrounds. Groucho working on the movie “Copacabana” for United Artists in would ad-lib humor, his own brand of humor, it would be a which he starred with Carmine Mirandia and Gloria Jean. showcase for Groucho’s wit and personality. Groucho This was released in 1947. listened and opted to try the show, to see if it would Then, on April 27, 1947, lightning finally struck. actually work. But he made no firm promises until Guedel But it was an odd burst of energy that almost didn’t hit the sweetened the deal by offered him a fifty-fifty partnership target. Groucho was a guest on Bob Hope’s program, a in the program. special show that featured a host of celebrities. When An audition record was cut, and the show was sold Groucho was at the mike, Bob Hope accidentally dropped with ABC as the network and Elgin-American as the his script. Legend has it that Groucho immediately put his sponsor, pushing their line of jewelry, cigarette cases, foot on the script, and then deliberately dropped his own. bracelets and the like. The first show aired on Monday What followed was a hilarious eleven minute long October 27, 1947 and the reaction from the critics was fully unrehearsed session that had the audience in almost as hostile as Groucho had predicted. Newsweek Magazine continuous laughter. It happened that John Guedel was in summarized their critique by declaring that Groucho as the the audience and was so impressed by Groucho’s ability to master of ceremonies on a quiz show was “like selling ad lib that he approached him after the show with a Citation to a glue factory.” proposal to do a free-form radio program. Asked by Contrary to the wide-held opinions of most Guedel if he could be spontaneously witty all the time, OTRadio collectors, the show was not an immediate smash Groucho told him it would be almost impossible for him not hit. The first few months of the program were done live,

21 and there were problems. Hesitations on the part of both contestants were and what their unique handle was going to Groucho and the guests were common. Sometimes the be. Then the contestants met Groucho and the results were so bland and banal that even the sound conversations started in front of a live audience with no engineers complained of boredom. Meanwhile radio coaching and no rehearsing. insiders shook their heads and predicted an early demise to In its Nov 7, 1949 issue, Time Magazine did an the program and the end of Groucho’s show business article on the program and featured a Groucho quote: “In career. the old days they almost threw me off the air if I deviated But Guedel persisted. His two biggest hits, from the script. I had to sign a written pledge that I would “People Are Funny” and “Ozzie and Harriet” had both read only what was before me. But now, I’m doing what faced almost unrelenting hostility from radio professionals, comes naturally. It’s like stealing money to get paid for right up until they had become big hits. He was convinced this.” At the time he was ‘stealing’ $3,000 a week, plus he had the right person and the right concept for a half of the profits the show generated. successful show. Groucho was always up for the show. He made Finally he came up with a solution. He would use horrible puns, referred to his family members past and recording tape. Bing Crosby’s insistence on using tape to present, plugged the sponsors at every opportunity, and pre-record his program had broken the decades-long somehow managed to make even jittery contestants network ban on canned shows. Guedel changed the comfortable throughout the entire barrage. Contestants production format, turning the program into an hour show, knew they were going to be in for a series of sly insults, but then used the tape recorder to edit it down to half an hour so they also had to have enough nerve to stand up to Groucho only the funniest and most interesting bits from that hour and say what was on their mind. “You’ve got to have would actually be broadcast. people who have something to say and [who] will say it” Guedel was aware that Bob Hope had used a according to co-producer Bernie Smith. Guedel once variation of this same formula by doing an hour-long dress commented about his star that: “I figured he’d be great rehearsal before a live audience, then editing down and working with people out of an audience. When people using only the funniest material in his actual half hour live were being funny, Groucho could be the perfect straight broadcasts. This technique had kept Bob Hope in the top of man; when the people played it straight, Groucho couldn’t the ratings for almost a dozen years, and Guedel was sure miss with his own comedy.” the same principle would work with “You Bet Your Life.” Groucho was usually “on” with the staff members He was right. The show’s popularity took a huge as well. Robert Dwan, co-producer of the show, related jump and suddenly Groucho had mastered the final show that often he tried to call Groucho to discuss the program business frontier, with a quiz show, altho the industry called and found himself being treated like a contestant; being it a comedy-quiz show, the first time that term could be consistently interrupted by a flood of puns, deliberate risqué truly applied to a successful radio program. In one year misquotes of his own remarks and assorted corny jokes. “You Bet Your Life” moved from an anemic 72nd place in That was when Groucho was in a good mood, which, the ratings, to the top ten. In 1949 Groucho won the fortunately, was most of the time. When he was in a bad Peabody Award as radio’s outstanding comedian and at age mood people tried to stay well away from him. 59 was on top of the world in a show that was uniquely his, Getting suitable contestants was a problem which directly crafted to his unique talents. developed early, and continued to be a major difficulty Groucho, who had appeared almost all his throughout the entire run of the show. In the early days professional life with a fake mustache, grew a real one contestants were pulled directly from the studio audience, specifically for this production. He had found it very useful given a short interview to determine possible interests, over the years to remove the greasepaint mustache and the peculiarities and subjects which might be topics for stage prop makeup to help protect his privacy off stage. conversation during the interviews with Groucho, then But for the new radio program he declared that he wanted escorted onstage with no idea of what might happen next. the public to meet the real Groucho, in person, up close and Sometimes contestants were directly picked from not in makeup, so he grew a genuine mustache. the audience by the audience itself. In one case an audience It took more than pure spontaneity to make this consisting mainly of professional plumbers was assembled, mixture work. Guedel and his staff screened all contestants with several being interviewed in the pre-show warmup. before allowing them on the air. The staff were looking for Then the audience itself voted on who would be the interesting people, unique individuals with something that contestants that evening. would make them noteworthy. People pushing unusual In 1949 Groucho gave an exclusive interview to books or trying to manufacture unusual products were ideal. Radio Mirror which detailed how much a learning True characters with bizarre personalities were even better. experience the early shows actually were. He related that in Groucho could relate to true characters on every level and the early years of the show, for example, in order to get never looked down on them. suitable female contestants they asked for volunteers, After the right contestants were found, possible herded the women, mostly pretty young housewives, to the topics of conversation were suggested to each individual. back of the studio, and whoever talked loudest and longest Groucho was appraised before each show of who the became contestants.

22 Eventually the entire staff of thirteen people were pressed into extended service in the perpetual hunt for new contestants. They watched for possibilities in the newspapers, in the letters asking to be on the show, even in their own neighborhoods. Each week about two hundred prospects were turned up. Of that number about twenty were actually interviewed by the staff, and from that group six people were finally chosen. On the broadcast of May 6th, 1954, God Almighty was even a contestant, teamed with a housewife from Sioux City who had thirteen children. God described himself as “the supreme being, the lord of the universe, the creator of There was always an effort to secure people with everything that exists—life, the Earth--everything.” interesting occupations, but early on they also discovered Groucho played along and queried God about the limits of some pitfalls associated with this effort. According to his powers and his influence on the human race. The Groucho, by 1949 the show was looking for contestants interplay worked so well that God and the housewife were with interesting jobs: “…only if the occupations are the only guests for that entire program. familiar to everyone. We’ve discovered a peculiar point: if The six contestants were not paired up until the a contestant’s occupation is too interesting the audience actual night of the taping. Each pair was kept off stage and won’t laugh. They become too engrossed in what the out of hearing while the others met Groucho in front of the contestant has to say. On one broadcast we had a chemist audience and played the game. This was to prevent anyone who prattled merrily on about the atomic age. It was from gaining an advantage in the cash quiz. No one knew fascinating stuff, but nobody laughed. After all, we’re who the big winners were till the end of the program. running a comedy show, so we have to get guffaws. We The quiz part of the program was plain as dirt. As tried a fashion designer and the same thing happened. many as three couples were contestants, and each couple Nowadays we try to stick with everyday occupations which was allocated $20 which they could risk any way they have a solid basis for potential humor, such as the butcher, wanted on the four tiers of questions. The money could the grocer, the insurance man, the home demonstrator, the double with each successive step, so it was possible for a bank clerk.” couple to end up with as much as $320 if they were Sometimes famous authors and personalities in the successful thru all four tiers. It was also possible to go news were deliberately chosen for the show, and in one broke on the very first question, a situation which happened instance Groucho’s own eleven year old daughter Melinda far more frequently than the producers wanted. was a contestant. “She’s not in my tax bracket. We can Groucho always cautioned contestants to talk over keep what she makes,” quipped Groucho when asked about the questions and come up with only one answer between the appearance. them, but it was also common for one contestant to jump Art Linkletter was an early guest star on the show, the gun and give an answer without saying a word to the presumably because of his connection with John Guedel, other half of the team. There were a dozen or so categories but otherwise show business stars were generally not from which to choose, and at the end of the show the couple allowed on the program, even if they volunteered to appear who had made the most money came back to take a chance for free, an offer which a number of Groucho’s friends on the Jackpot Question. made. Groucho felt that regular people from all walks of The prize for this was usually $500 or $1000. If life on stage and under pressure were better natural the jackpot was not won, another $500 would be added to comedians than almost any professional. The ideal the total and next week’s winner could get a chance at a contestant mix was to have two interesting, articulate much bigger pot. people with opposite interests or lifestyles. If the pair was The final questions were not easy, and they were too similar one of them was bound to get lost in the word deliberately tricky. For example, on the program where play that followed. God was a contestant, the final question was “Is it possible

23 to be in two places at one time?” God immediately blurted right, just answer one question correctly and you will win out that no, that was impossible. You’d think God would all these prizes.’ Whereupon I was going to inquire ‘who is know about those things, but it turned out he was wrong. the President of the United States.’ When he answered As Groucho explained it, if you stand at a state line, and ‘Truman,’ I was going to be very funny and say ‘That’s place one foot inside the boundaries of one state, and the right. Now here is the question: what is his social security other foot inside the boundaries of the adjoining state you number. can actually be in two places at the same time. ‘At that, the audience was supposed to go into As mentioned, the jackpot questions were usually gales of laughter. tricky. ‘Well, here’s what happened: the young fellow, Sometimes the tricky jackpot questions backfired. sweating profusely, said ‘Yes, I’d like to win all those In one instance the question involved a question about prizes.’ Shakespeare’s plays. The question was “In Shakespeare’s ‘Just one question,’ I began ‘and you get them all. Henry IV, Henry V, and the Merry Wives of Windsor, there Who’s the President of the United States?’ appears a cowardly braggart whose humor and wit have ‘At this point the boy’s mind went completely endeared him to millions of world over…I want you to blank. He stammered and fidgeted and wiped his forehead identify this genial fellow.” The contestants conferred a and laughed nervously and gibbered. But for the life of few moments before answering “Pistol.” “Wrong,” said him, he couldn’t recall the name of the President of the Groucho, “the correct answer is Falstaff.” U.S.” After the show the contestants argued the point The audience was alternately amazed, horrified, with Groucho and the entire show staff. The tricky part of embarrassed and laughing. They were laughing so loud and the question is that Falstaff had actually not appeared on so long that only heavy post program tape editing kept the stage in all three plays. In Henry V he is present in the tape from running overtime. play, but only as a ghost (Act II, Scene 3), whereas the If a couple went bust there was always a final decidedly minor character of Pistol had actually been a giveaway gag question with a $25 prize. “Nobody leaves player in all three productions. here empty handed,” Groucho would say. The favorite Groucho and Guedel instantly realized the question for couples that went bust was “Who is buried in potential for lots of free publicity from the controversy. Grant’s tomb?” Losers always got a big sympathetic round Publicly Groucho announced that he was going to submit of applause from the audience. the question to five famous authorities on Shakespeare and Adding more interest for the audience, if not accept whatever answer they came up with. The experts necessarily for the contestants themselves, was the “secret were Laurence Oliver, Walter Hampden, Charles Laughton, word”. Any contestant who mentioned the secret word plus critics Brooks Atkinson and Richard Watts. would get an immediate prize of $50 (later raised to $100). Time Magazine for Nov 17, 1952 reported the The band would break out into a fanfare, then go into a answers. Richard Watts probably summed up the raucous rendition of “Be Kind to Your Web Footed consensus of the experts by declaring that altho Falstaff was Friends” as a paper-mache duck featuring a Groucho technically correct, and that there was considerably doubt mustache, horn-rimmed glasses and bushy eyebrows would that millions over the world would ever found Pistol drop from the ceiling. endearing, he was physically present on stage in all three Groucho would cheerfully provide helpful hints plays, and he did display “good humor, and some wit” and about the Secret Word before talking with each team of he was certainly a cowardly braggart, so the young contestants: “It’s a common word, something you find contestants should get the prize. Three out of five agreed around the house” or even more vague: “It’s something you with him, and all five suggested that some or all the prize see every day”. Contestants who said the secret word, money should go to the contestants for even remembering (almost always inadvertently), were paid on the spot, in such a minor character as Pistol in the first place. cash. This money came directly from Gruedel and Groucho Groucho declared the couple would get the full out of their own pockets. The rest of the prizes came out of prize amount, $1,000, and relied on one of Shakespeare’s the sponsor’s budget. own lines to sum up the situation: “I am a man whom The announcer for the show was George fortune hath cruelly scratched.” Fenneman who immediately became an essential part of the Often some minor circumstances turned into the show’s successful mix. He was the perfect straight-man for comedy highpoint of the show. In the 1949 Radio Mirror Groucho, but often displayed a keen sense of humor as interview Groucho mentioned his most unusual experience well. Groucho bullied him relentlessly, but Fenneman on the show up to that time involved a young man who was refused to be ruffled. He introduced the contestants to a contestant on the show who was extremely nervous Groucho on air and provided a bit of background about because his wife was at a hospital expecting a baby at any each person. His was the voice heard at the beginning of moment. each program telling the audience in the studio and at home “I was going to ask if he’d like to win a new what the “secret word” was that week. He introduced the refrigerator, a new car, and a new home. He was supposed, star every week with the words “and now here he is, the of course, to say ‘yes’. Then I was supposed to say ‘All

24 Dwan was one of the co-producers for the entire run of the show. He staged the weekly audience performances, and he supervised the editing of the recorded versions to an acceptable half hour formant. He was also the program’s censor, and he always double checked to make sure nothing too off-color made it into the weekly shows. In his book about his experiences working on the program he stated that it was entirely probably that the exchange actually took place. He also stated that he was sure Groucho never intended it to be taken in a dirty-joke type context, rather it would have been intended as a broad one, the only…” and the audience would roar out burlesque-house style remark for which Groucho was well “GROUCHO!” known. He also stated that he was certain those comments It was also his job to keep track of the money that were never broadcasted, and that in addition, the comments was bet. This could be difficult in the days before pocket were made while the program was still a radio show only. calculators if a contestant should decide to wager some odd While perhaps two hundred audience members that night amount. George Fenneman stayed with the program from might have heard the comment, it was impossible for the beginning right up till the very end in 1961. He did anyone to have heard it on the air, because he, Dwan, would other announcing and voice-overs during the sixties and never have allowed it to go out over the air. seventies. During the 1990s he was a paid spokesman for In a 1972 interview with Roger Ebert which ran in Radio Spirits promoting the old “You Bet Your Life” tapes Esquire Magazine Groucho himself denied ever saying it. and the rest of their catalog on their late night radio Then again, in his book “The Secret Word Is Groucho,” promotions, and was a guest at a number of old time radio which came out in 1976, he claimed that he had made the conventions. He passed away in 1997. comment, but also stated that the exchange was never aired, Groucho was a master of leering double ententre because it was cut out of the final edited show by Robert comments, and every pretty girl on the show could count on Dwan, the show’s censor. at least one guarded indecent proposal and several Steve Stoliar, who worked as a secretary in suggestive compliments from him. Groucho’s household during the final years of his life also One of the most famous purported bloopers in the confirmed that the comment was made, but never aired. It history of radio came out of “You Bet Your Life”. This turned out that Bernie Smith, the show’s head writer and incident has been told, retold, edited, changed, denied, co-producer, keep complete logs of all the people who confirmed and refuted so many times that it has become a appeared as contestants on the show, and those logs subject for genuine research by such pillars of wisdom as confirmed that both Mr. and Mrs. Story along with a Cecil Adams’ “Straight Dope” feature and the “Urban number of their children were on the radio set in 1947, altho Legends” encyclopedia. apparently only Mrs. Story made it on stage. The exchange Here is the essence of the story. Groucho was actually took place, but Stoliar also confirms that the interviewing a woman named Story who had 19 children. At the time she had the largest family in America. She original bore 22 children but three had died. Groucho: Why do you have so many children? That’s a big responsibility, and a big burden. Mrs. Story: Well, because I love my children and I think that’s our purpose here on Earth, and I love my husband. Groucho: Well I love my cigar, too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. The audience broke up in hysterical laughter. According to the story, many people remember seeing this on the television show. The story has the ring of truth because Groucho’s entire career, particularly on the “You Bet Your Life” show had been notable for his ability to ad-lib humorous risqué material. This is exactly the kind of comment anyone who had ever heard the show would have expected him to make. However, logic and research has determined that even if this particular exchange ever took place, it would have been impossible for it to have ever aired. Robert

25 comments, apparently spoken at a 1947 taping, never made Groucho prancing around and jiggling his eyebrows. This it to the airwaves. music then subtly meshed with the “Hooray For Captain But you can’t keep a good anecdote down. You’ll Spalding” theme. find this story in various edited forms reported in dozens of Another notable bit of music used on the show was places both in print and over the internet. In fact, it even provided by long time sponsor DeSoto, which had leased ran once as a humor blurb in the Reader’s Digest in the the rights to the tune “It’s De-Lovely” for use in their 1970s, a sure sign that the status of risqué material has television commercials. For most of the television years changed considerably since 1947. this also became an integral part of the “You Bet Your John Guedel was known in the radio business as Life” program. something of a cheapskate. His efforts with “You Bet Your DeSoto-Plymouth took over as the sponsor Life” became slightly infamous within the industry, beginning in 1950, signing on for a five year stint. Elgin- particularly as regards the show’s music. Originally Guedel American was extremely happy with their association with had not planned on having a live band for the program at the show, but they dropped out because by the end of 1949 all. He envisioned using an instrumental recording of their factory was running at 100% capacity. It would have Groucho’s “Hooray For Captain Spalding” from the 1928 been useless to continue sponsoring a program to drum up “Animal Crackers” musical as the theme. Groucho was more business when they were having a hard time keeping instantly identified with the music; a recording would save up with the business the show had already generated for the cost of a band, and that meant more money for Giedel them. and Groucho to split. The TV show commercials became famous for The sponsors thought otherwise. They insisted having Groucho at the end of each program sticking his that a live band would make the live studio audience more head thru a DeSoto logo (sometimes from a real car) and comfortable, help with the pre-show warm-up, and make telling the audience “when you go to your DeSoto dealer the entire production more professional. Guedel explained tomorrow, tell ‘em Groucho sent you!” the live band situation to the show’s newly hired music In 1949 “You Bet Your Life” jumped ship from director Billy May, and reportedly asked him “how little NBC and moved to CBS. But in 1950 it moved back to will it cost?” “That got us off to a good start right away,” NBC. One of the perks of the deal for returning to NBC May reported many years later. “Needless to say, I didn’t was that beginning with the 1950-51 season the show last very long.” would be broadcast on both radio and television, the first But he lasted long enough to establish the essential big name program to enter into such an arrangement. The musical format for the entire run of the show. During 1947 television program would be a filmed version of the radio he supplied arrangements for the program including the show. This proved to be a very farsighted move on the part opening show theme, which was a slight variation on the of co-owners Groucho and Guedel. Even as radio Captain Spalding song, done by a live band. He also wrote listenership was declining in the early fifties and television and cross-logged internal bridge music, closing themes, was picking up viewers, their program could be sponsor leads and more. Guedel used those exact experienced by fans in either format. arrangements for the next four years, until 1951. The radio and television shows were not broadcast In 1950 the program was run on both radio and simultaneously. The first year or so there was a one day television, and Guedel hired Alexander Lazzio, who delay between the radio show which was broadcast first and specialized in providing low budget canned music for the television version. Over the years the time gap television and movies to create a slightly different theme lengthened and might change from one season to the next, using the same tune. This ran as a canned introduction for according to some mysterious formula only the executives the entire 1950 season. at NBC understood. By the end of the 1950s the television But again those pesky sponsors and their agents, show was being aired first and then the radio show would this time speaking for DeSoto-Plymouth automobiles, follow days later. Many NBC radio shows were killed off demanded that the program use genuine live music, so Jerry over the summer of 1956, but “You Bet Your Life” was not Fielding was hired as music director in 1951. one of them. The radio show continued to be run over the Unfortunately Jerry Fielding had problems during the early network, for as many stations on the feed as wanted it, until fifties. He was blacklisted during the McCarthy era and he June 10, 1960, when it too was finally axed. resigned when it was suggested that his political problems The radio and the television programs were also might create difficulty for Groucho, altho how someone carried as summer reruns, the first time a quiz show of any directing a TV show band could have inserted any kind was ever placed in reruns. In the 1960’s the TV shows subversive material was never explained. were packaged and placed into syndication as “The Best of Jack Meakin, a former NBC music director best Groucho”, also the first time any kind of quiz program had known for his work with “The Great Gildersleeve” radio gone into syndication. show took over in 1953 and stuck with the program thru the Now that he had his own hit radio show, Groucho very end. Meakin composed a memorable B theme for cut back considerably on his guest appearances, but he still saxophones which he called “Groucho and the Wolf” to had time to drop by the programs of his old friends match the new animated cartoon TV opening which showed occasionally, tho by now those were more often television

26 than radio shows. He also did guest shots on NBC’s “The Essentially it was a radio show with cameras right up thru Big Show”, and on the November 12, 1950 broadcast he did the end of its existence, which came in 1961. During it’s a spoof of “Your Bet Your Life” with Fanny Brice as Baby long television tenure it was nominated for five Emmys, but Snooks, along with Tullulah Bankhead and Hanley Stafford only won once, in 1951. as Daddy. The peak years for the television show were 1955 In their December 31, 1951 issue Time Magazine thru 1958, when the ratings were at their highest. By that initiated a brand new irregular department called time most network radio was in sharp decline, and most of ‘Personalities’. The very first personality covered was the families in the country had finally gotten around to Groucho Marx, who was also featured on the cover of the buying a television set. Groucho and the entire cast had magazine with a facial line drawing that made him look settled into a solid routine. Groucho had developed into an dour and serious, but the article inside soon put that mood insightful interviewer able to immediately size up the to rest with a full coverage of his life story peppered with strengths and weaknesses of the people he met and was also his famous quips and ad-libs. able to exploit both for their maximum entertainment On April 9, 1954 he was a guest and the subject of potential. The public knew what the show was all about, an interview on the TV program “Person To Person” where but there were always the odd twists and surprises as unique he shows host Edward R. Murrow around his house and has contestants and unusual situations came up during each no trouble at all reducing the normally strait and serious season’s programs. Murrow to hysterical laughter. But times were changing. The attention span of On April 3, 1955 he did a hilarious “You Bet Your the American public, particularly the television viewing Life” skit on the “Jack Benny Television Show” in which public, is short. It is very rare when any program, either on Jack disguises himself to go on Groucho’s program as a radio or television survives more than five years. By 1959 contestant, and then becomes fascinated with the idea of the ratings for “You Bet Your Life” began taking a beating getting a hundred bucks just for saying a secret word. The as the competing networks tried to hammer it by placing Secret Word was ‘telephone,’ which Jack inadvertently bright new shows up against its time slot, particularly “The wins when he says he can “always tell a phony.” Jack Untouchables” and a revived “Playhouse 90”. makes it to the jackpot round, but loses, because the For the 1960 season the program was retitled “The question asks Jack Benny’s real age, information his Groucho Show.” The word was put out that this was a character would never willingly reveal. response to the quiz show scandal which had swept This particular episode was out of circulation for television the previous few years. The paper-mache duck decades, although Groucho himself had a filmed copy was replaced by a “secret word girl”. Whenever the which he would run for special guests at his home from contestant mentioned the Secret Word, beautiful Marlyn time to time. It was finally released on a DVD Burtis wearing a very brief costume would drop down on a documentary called “The Unknown Marx Brothers” in golden trapeze to present the winner with the cash prize. 1993. On the final show of the series brother Harpo in full stage “You Bet Your Life” made the move to TV easily. costume dropped down on the swing to the delight of the studio audience. But it wasn’t enough. Ratings continued to fall. At the end of 1961 the program went off the air. In addition, Chico died on October 11, 1961 of arteriosclerosis after a decade long battle with heart disease. Before his death he had been asked about his gambling habit, and how much money he thought he might have lost over the course of his lifetime. “Ask Harpo how much he’s made, and that’s how much I’ve lost,” was his reply. In January 1962, after being off the air only half a season, Groucho returned with a new show titled “Tell It To Groucho”. It was over at CBS on Thursday nights at 9:00, bumping “The Investigators” out of that time slot. The emphasis on interviews was even stronger than with “You Bet Your Life”. He was joined by two young people he had met while doing “You Bet Your Life”. Contestants could win a top prize of $500 by identifying a celebrity photo puzzle. This show only lasted until May 31st. Groucho fans like to blame the quiz show scandal of the late fifties for his decline, but the truth is that the public was tired of the format and tired of Groucho. But it was far from the end for Groucho Marx. He guest-hosted a week of programs on “The Tonight Show”

27 after Jack Parr left, one of a series of guest hosts before the Records network finally settled on Johnny Carson. The shows were featuring very well done. Groucho did a skit, or a musical number, the or something close to a monolog at the beginning of each highlights program, then interviewed show business personalities. He of that was much more relaxed and considerably less show confrontational and frivolous than he had been on “You Bet quickly Your Life.” He was witty and urbane but just as quick became a with an ad-lib as ever. When Johnny Carson took over, his best seller. very first guest was Groucho Marx. Groucho Harpo died on September 28, 1964 after open announced heart surgery. Time was catching up with the Marx a long Brothers. concert Groucho made guest appearances on various tour, and television programs, but with nowhere near the regularly as advance he had in his radio days. He also did several appearances tickets sold on “Hollywood Palace” reappraising some of his old briskly. routines. In one “Hollywood Palace” show in 1965 he was Groucho was rediscovered by the college crowd. reunited with Margaret Dumont as they recreated one of Posters of him and his brothers at various stages in their their old skits. She died a few days after the filming, with careers became big sellers at such places as Spencer’s Gifts the program actually airing a couple of weeks later. and the thousands of head shops around the country. A In 1967 he did a very brief but extremely funny whole new generation was exposed to the wit of Groucho guest shot on “I Dream of Jeannie” and in 1969 he played and the boisterous movies of his brothers. He became an his character of ‘Doctor Hackenbush’ on “Julia”. In 1968 almost overnight cultural hero of the new anti- “Skidoo”, his last movie, and certainly not one of his best, establishment, protest generation. was released. In the summer of 1969 he spent an hour on a The reason for all this sudden flurry of activity at a Dick Cavett special with Erin Fleming, a very valuable time period when Groucho himself was prepared to cut resource of information about not only his past, but also his back on his schedule and settle into semi-retirement was his opinions on comedy, show business, and the people who live-in companion and now “business manager” Erin make up the entertainment industry. In the fall he did the Fleming. “Music Scene” program, then in November he did a half There’s no use making comments about no fool hour special titled “One Man Show”, followed a month like an old fool. Both the adage and the truth are as old as later in December 1969 by his divorce from Eden Hartford, the history of the human race. When a pretty young woman his third wife. says she enjoys the company of an old man, says she finds In 1970 there was a sort of Marx Brothers reunion, him attractive and then suggests she is in love with him, the in animation form. ABC ran a special called “The Mad old man almost always succumbs to her charms. Mad Mad Comedians,” produced by Rankin-Bass They had been introduced by the producer of TV’s Animation. This was an ambitious project that presented “The Odd Couple” and had hit it off together almost animation versions of famous comedy acts by people such immediately. Ms Fleming was an aspiring actress with not as W.C. Fields, George Burns, Jack Benny, Flip Wilson, much in the way of talent. But she knew a good thing when George Jessel and many others, including the Marx she saw it, and she hit the jackpot with Groucho Marx. Brothers. Groucho was in his early eighties and his health Their segment, undoubtedly provided by Groucho was now clearly deteriorating. At Ms Fleming’s urging he himself, was the ‘Napoleon’ parody from their 1924 revue was booked for an extensive concert tour complete with “I’ll Say She Is!”, which Groucho had always considered publicity interviews spanning dozens of cities. It was a one of the funniest things the team had ever done. All of schedule that would have been a strain for a man half his the voices for the animated segments were provided by the age. original comedians, except for W. C. Fields, and Chico He was a doddering old man, pushed out onto Marx, who had died, and Zeppo, who had stopped concert stages, holding onto a podium while he read from performing back in 1933. Those voices were imitated by cue cards, talking about the old days, singing his signature long time radio professional Paul Frees. songs, trying to deliver jokes he often did not remember, Somebody once said if you wait long enough while an accompanist, usually Marvin Hamlisch, tried to everything ends badly; probably the same guy who said gently prod him to stick to the script and tried desperately nothing good lasts forever. to cover for him. In 1972 Groucho made something of a comeback. Groucho suffered a stroke near the end of this tour, He did a solo concert in Ames, Iowa, then in May he but managed to make a strong comeback health-wise and performed a sold out solo concert at Carnegie Hall. A turned in a very funny guest spot on the “Bill Crosby double LP “An Evening With Groucho” from A&M Show” in 1972. He was aided by Bill Crosby and his staff

28 of writers, many of whom were devoted Groucho and Marx and for turning that spotlight onto his long history of Brothers fans and freely admitted they had been directly comedic genius. and profoundly influenced by the old man. Groucho’s oldest son Arthur sparked headlines Groucho thought very highly of Bill Cosby, across the nation when he instituted a lawsuit to have his considering him one of the brightest of the newer father removed from the care of Ms Fleming, stating he was comedians. He suggested more than once that Crosby being maliciously manipulated by a failed actress. In 1976 would be the perfect host for a recreation of “You Bet Your Groucho held a press conference in which he denied the Life.” accusations. He also denied the charge in court, but most Unfortunately Groucho’s judgment by this time people who knew him regarded Groucho as almost totally was somewhat shaky, as future events clearly proved. senile by this point in time. “You Bet Your Life” had two attempted revivals on He made a guest appearance on the 1976 “Bob television. The first starred stand up comic Buddy Hackett Hope Special” in which he was barely able to mouth his and came out in 1980. This died a quick and merciful death few lines. The production people had Billy Barty hovering before finishing even a single season. In 1988 Richard around the comedian in Groucho make-up just in case. Dawson hosted a pilot for a revival, but NBC declined to Later that year Ms Fleming arranged a special pick it up. appearance on the “Welcome back Kotter” show at the In 1992 Bill Cosby took up the challenge with his request of the show’s star Gabe Kaplan, but Groucho was version of the show, which was somewhat more successful. so worn-out that he backed out at the last minute. Instead A complete season was taped for syndication and gained he put in an appearance to have some publicity photos taken good distribution based primarily on the industry’s respect with the cast. for Cosby and the memories of the original Groucho By this time he was so frail and shrunken that the version. This revival featured a black goose dressed in a studio audience didn’t even recognize him when he came Temple University T-shirt (Bill’s alma-mater) for the Secret on stage to sit in Kotter’s chair for the cast photo. The sight Word with a $500 prize. of this pitiful, feeble old man being led around the set by In order to sustain a half hour comedy quiz Ms Fleming was very disturbing to many of the cast interview show there has to be rapid witty interplay among members, particularly Robert Hegyes, who played the part host and guests, verbal interplay that touches the viewer. of Epstein on the show and often imitated Groucho in that Bill Cosby had excellent communication and empathy role. “How can I go out and make people laugh after seeing skills, but he lacked the ability to come up with the that?” he asked. There were no answers. Gabe Kaplan was lightning quip, the puns and twists of word play that turned so horrified at how far one of his comedy heroes had a comment into a moment of genuine laughter. Many declined that he refused to release the publicity photos. stations were so disappointed with this program that they There were some good things during this period, either cancelled the contract early or transposed the time including a whole series of books and tributes that came at slot so that it would run late at night. No additional an every increasing rate as the decade wore on. In 1972 at episodes were made. the Cannes Film Festival he was made Commander des Later in 1972 Groucho performed at the Dorothy Artes et Lettres. Chandler Pavillion. This performance was filmed, and was In 1973 NBC felt the rerun package of “The planned to run as a TV special, but the footage was deemed Groucho Show” had run its course, despite Groucho’s unusable and the special was scrapped, a decision viewed as newly revitalized career, and they began to destroy the a blessing by his friends in the business. original films of the TV shows, claiming they didn’t have Ms Fleming began hosting a series of lavish enough storage space to keep the shows anymore. Luckily parties where scores of show business luminaries would Groucho and John Guedel were alerted to this situation, and drop by to pay homage to the most famous of the Marx they decided to buy 230 programs from the run and do their Brothers, who was often barely coherent and sometimes own syndication beginning in 1974. barely conscious during these affairs. Ms Fleming would In April of 1974 Groucho was presented with a always hype her latest projects; some featuring Groucho, special Academy Award. In May of that same year but most were deals in which she would either be the star or “Animal Crackers” finally cleared thirty years of legal the producer. hurtles and was re-released. It quickly played a continuous In 1974, at age 84, Groucho was awarded a special series of college campuses where a whole new generation Academy Award. He managed to come to the mike and was exposed to the zany antics of the Marx Brothers for the accept a standing ovation from his peers. In his remarks he first time. publicly thanked Erin Fleming, declaring that it was “she In 1976 Bobbs-Merrill finally got around to who makes my life worth living and who understands my printing a second edition of Groucho’s book “Beds” after jokes.” Most of his friends found those comments a forty-six years. Groucho wrote a new introduction. The horrible parody of the true reality, yet the fact is that for all same publisher also brought out “The Groucho-Phille---An her manipulation and naked greed, Ms Fleming was directly Illustrated History” that same year. In January of 1977 the responsible for pushing Groucho back into the spotlight, Four Marx Brothers were inducted into the Motion Picture

29 Hall of Fame. This was to be Groucho’s final public of the past fifty years have regularly stated that Groucho appearance. and the Marx Brothers were a profound and lasting Then, on April 21, 1977, Gummo died. On influence on their work. The Marx Brothers may not have August 19, Groucho died, from complications brought on been the actual inventors of their style of chaotic verbal by a bout with pneumonia. His passing would have slapstick with innuendo, insults, puns, and irreverent one- attracted more notice in the news media if it hadn’t liners, but surely nobody before or since ever did it better. happened three days after the death of Elvis Presley. Two Groucho’s razor sharp wit and ability to ad-lib years later, on November 29, 1979, Zeppo died. anywhere in any situation has been singled out as both the Lawsuits tied up Groucho’s estate and the money inspiration for and the shaping of modern talk show humor. that was supposed to go to Erin Fleming for managing his His witticisms, observations and classic one-liners are career and finances. She wrote a very controversial article collected in hardback volumes published world wide, while for Movie Star Magazine in 1983 titled “Loving Groucho his own books and essays can be found in most libraries Wrecked My Life.” Because she was not a licensed and are reissued on a regular basis. His nose, horn-rimmed manager the courts ordered her to pay almost half a million glasses, mustache and eyebrows have become a timeless dollars in penalties and damages back to the estate when comedy icon in the form of the “Groucho Glasses” which Arthur Marx won his case. It turned out this was money first appeared in the late 1940s and are now sold she did not have. In 1990 she hit the back pages of the everywhere in the world. newspapers when police arrested her carrying around a In a 2005 pol1 of professional comedians Groucho loaded .357 Magnum in her purse, and by the middle of the was voted the 5th greatest comedy act of all time. New 90s she was recognized by some of Groucho’s old friends legions of fans are constantly being created as each new living as a street person, begging for spare change and food. generation of college age students suddenly encounters the She was in and out of mental institutions during the rest of insanity of the Marx Brothers’ confrontational anti- her life, which ended in 2003 when she committed suicide. authority, in-your-face humor, and instantly bonds. Not And that was the end of the Marx Brothers. that many of the different radio shows the Marx Brothers But it appeared on was not the have end of the survived, but legend. there are lots The of “You Bet fame and Your Life” influence of episodes the Marx around, and Brothers and the TV reruns Groucho in of “You Bet particularly Your Life” began to grow still play to the minute they this very day, entered the so Groucho’s electronic unique style media with of wit and movies, radio, humor is records, and never going television. to go away. That influence And that’s continued to good, grow with each because you passing know there’s decade. never going Hundreds, if to be not thousands anybody else of the brightest who can fill comedians and his shoes. comedy writers

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READER REACTION

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Frank Mazzarella; 23 Cooledge St.; Leominister, MA 01543

Unbelievable! A magazine appearing in my mailbox, gratis, free, for nothing, containing a little bit of all the things that make my nerd life tingle with joy, and it gets better each issue. First, David Williams on Roger Ebert was fun and informative and gave props to a little known side of Ebert. Never a big fan of his film criticism, I still watched the show in its infancy on PBS along with "This Old House" each week. We did not have cable and the local PBS was high class and my wife and I watched all the time. My father lived upstairs, where he fell in love with "Nature" shows and English comedies. So Ebert was well known to me but his fanzine side was not. There is a great podcast on Boing Boing called Gweek. Boing Boing is an old fanzine that made the switch to the internet and has really done well. "Gweek" is it's podcast wherein the editor of Boing interviews two well known techno/scifi/geek/nerds and inquires about what they are reading and watching. Check out this episode, http://boingboing.net/2013/07/24/gweek-104-andy-ihnatko-and-jo.html#more-243816, where Joshua Glenn, is a Boston- based writer, publisher, and semiotician, talks about sorting through the pulp magazine collection that Roger Ebert left behind. http://www.rogerebert.com/balder-and-dash/the-fan-rogers-passion-for-pulp-lit. Trust me. This podcast is like a audio fanzine and is loaded with the kind of stuff we all love. There is much discussion about The World of Fanzines: A Special Form of Communication, by Fredric Wertham M.D and some sci fi reviews and other goodies on this session. I also loved David Williams story about how he entered the world the world of scifi through an Arthur C. Clarke paperback left behind by a room-mate. My favorite stories are those about how one got into comic books, or scifi or OTR, etc. Pierre Comtois is the author of two incredible works about the history of Marvel Comics in the 1960's and another about the 1970's. Both books are published by Tomorrow publishing the company that puts out Alter Ego and other great titles. Pierre has a web page which he uses to tell a wonderful tale of his childhood and comic books....http://bypierrecomtois.webs.com/...he grew up in Lowell, Ma and there were quite a few great stores to pick up

32 comics and horror mags and sci fi paperbacks. I enjoyed his memories so much that I went out and bought "River Muse" Tales of Lowell and the Merrimack Valley". Comtois expands upon the aforesaid memories of childhood comic collecting and writes a beautiful essay concerning the roots of his obsession. His essay is only one of many local writings, but the rest are also surprisingly good and I guess the hometown of Jack Kerouac inspires its citizenry to write. Dwight Decker on Captain Future was a great article. Andy Hooper's article about "One Meatball" was informative and I went to youtube and listened to each and every version of the song. Great song, great history. Dick Tracy is a great comic strip and I did buy one volume of the IDW series and I hope to free up some cash to buy some more. Bob, you already got me hooked on Little Orphan Annie reprints and now Dick Tracy. Annie is still my favorite. Your review of "Nancy" was fun. John Stanley provided me with some of my best comic reading experience when I was a child and I still get a kick out of "Little Lulu" and own most of the reprints. Anything by Stanley is on my list of things that make me happy. Last, the letters, as usual are charming and filled with suggestions for reading and listening and all things nerdy and wonderful. Talk about cartoons and OTR and horror and sci fi paperbacks never gets tiresome. I love each and every letter this issue. Where else can we discuss Sgt Preston but in your zine? One of my favorite radio shows and the premiums that went with the show are among the most original. There is mention of pulp writers and heroes and Rocky and Bullwinkle and mowing the lawn and that incredible art work by Steve Stiles and all Carroll, Cepeda, Alexis G and Schirmeister. All in black and white for free. Anyone want to mention boys’ books such as Rick Brant or the old movie serials? I would love to read it. Fadeaway has become my most looked forward to mail. When I see that tall manila envelope towering over my other mail, my blood begins to thin and a tingle runs through my body. I rip open the envelope and read the contents much too quickly. But after a day or two I enjoy reading them again.

P.S. -- Forgot to mention that I purchased and am reading on my Kindle, the new book "Bob and Ray: Keener than Most Persons" and it is A-1. The boys are among the best of comedy duos and their story is unique and filled with mention of Boston radio personalities and shows from the past. It is so far my book of the year. I also picked up in non kindle traditional form Will Murray's "Wordslingers" a great history of the pulp westerns. I love pulp westerns and this is dearly appreciated. I have not started the Murray book but I have no doubt it will suffice. This is truly the classic era for comic book and pulp and movie reprints and I hope to live forever so that I can consume it all.

///I was actually around SF fandom back when Roger Ebert was active. He wrote some of the funniest articles I have ever read in this hobby. If he had not gone into newspaper work I was certain (back then anyway) that he would become a writer for some TV comedy program. He still managed to inject humor into a lot of his print movie reviews. The new Bob & Ray bio is an excellent bit of work. The author worked with Bob Elliot (now living in Maine) for some new insights. Now that Bob is retired and Ray has passed away, Elliott is much more open and honest about his career than in times past. Our radio club did several interviews with him over the years, and it’s amazing what finally retiring from the business can do to open up a flow of information previously considered too delicate or potentially damaging to the reputation. Future issues of the zine may contain some articles about motion picture serials. We shall see what develops. To me a podcast or a blog will never be a fanzine. As I have probably mentioned before, I’m not even that thrilled with e-zines, altho there are a bunch of them around now. I try to write letters of comment to print zines I receive (and still fall behind), but I don’t usually bother with e-zines. I don’t know how it would be possible to LOC a blog---it’s an ongoing series of personal commentary that never ends, which makes it even more difficult to get a real handle on the substance of the material that might be discussed. The very low cost of posting blogs to the internet means there are millions of the things out there with multiple thousands of new ones being added every day. Are there even enuf people in the world to read all this outpouring of comments, most of which dead exclusively with the writer’s personal feelings and hum-drum daily happenings? I am included to doubt it.///

Jefferson P. Swycaffer; P.O. Box 15373; San Diego CA 92175

Loved the front cover art by Steve Stiles. It has a certain "Wally Wood" feel to it. Definitely one of those "pictures that tells a story." I'm not sure I want to read that story! But a very nice bit of art. Robert Cepeda's cartoon was a good'un. I liked it! I agree with it! Any creature such as that *would* collapse under its own weight. But as another old joke goes, "Tell that to the creature." There's an economics joke that goes the same way: two economists are walking down the street, and one says, "Why, look, there in the gutter. A twenty dollar bill!" And the other one says, "Nonsense. If there were, someone would have picked it up."

33 As always, I enjoy the spot cartoons by Alexis Gilliland and Marc Schirmeister. I confess I don't always get 'em. But I've met Marc, and can say (in a friendly fashion!) that it takes a special kind of something to follow his line of wit! Re Rich Dengrove's letter, I hadn't known that Sax Rohmer changed "Fu Manchu's" name to something more legitimately Chinese. I've heard before that the name is bogus pseudo-Chinese, but I don't know why. What was the new name, and what makes the original name bogus? I also confess, I have never spotted the anti-Semitism in Rohmer. It isn't too surprising, given the tenor of the times. I'm a fan of G.K. Chesterton, but, oy vey, what he says about the Jews is awfully intolerant. The first half of the 20th century was certainly a nasty era for human rights in general; the very concept seemed to have been in disregard. Speaking of old books, I'm currently reading Lew Wallace's "Ben Hur." I kept bumping into Wallace's name while reading a history of the American Civil War, and the footnote that he was the author of the book recurred frequently. Fun book! You might call it a Gospel Mary Sue story, as he takes the familiar Bible stories and (gently) inserts his own character, Judah Ben-Hur, into the middle of it all. The style is very comfortable and modern, given it was published in 1880. Every now and then the author pauses and directly addresses the reader, an affectation not indulged in much these days. Also, everyone in the book speaks in the Elizabethan/Jacobean familiar. I guess this is for more or less the same reason that Romans, in movies, always speak with British accents: it's the only short-cut the author has to introduce a (spurious) sense of formality and antiquity. (I have never actually seen the movie.) Re your own comment to Bill Plott, I, too, can't enjoy reading books or watching movies on a computer screen. I take my passive entertainment lying down. But a nice e-book reader is definitely one of the greatest joys of my life. My Kindle has entirely changed my reading experience, and wholly for the better. I may need to get a larger-screen reader, or a tablet, in order to read comic books. Very recently, Antarctic Press, to celebrate the 200th issue of Gold Digger, made available all 199 issues up to that point -- free! Remarkable! Even though I own all of the paper-and-staples copies, I also glommed all the e-copies. But I don't have any comfortable way to read 'em. Anybody got a good (maybe cheap?) recommendation for a comics reader? And, as always, Dan Carroll gives us a lovely back cover. I could make all sorts of lurid puns about back covers, but, well, nah. Instead, I'll note the cleverness of the use of shading to imply a line, in the figure's legs. That's *technique*, man, and Carroll is very, very good at it.

/// Steve Stiles is a long time fan of horror comics, going back, he has related, to the days as a youngster when he bought EC comics from a used bookstore near his home. He has done serious horror and science fiction comic book art before, but most people tend to remember his humorous cartoon work. I’m with you; I don’t think I’d care to encounter that particular beastie in real life no matter what the circumstances were. It’s been awhile since I read any of Rohmer’s Fu Manchu stories. I am not sure what “new” more Chinese-like name Rohmer used for any later stories. Rohmer was pretty much prohibited from pushing the character during WWII since China was one of the Allies. Only three Fu novels appeared afterward; one in 1948, one in 1957, and the last one in 1958. I’m pretty sure Rohmer wrote the last two stories in a hurry to raise some money, a commodity he was always in need of due to lavish and foolish spending habits. I don’t recall him being referred to as anything except Fu Manchu in any of those later stories, but my memory could be faulty here. Rohmer’s anti-Semitism showed mostly up in his other novels, particularly the stuff he wrote during the 1920s. Among other things, I collect the old dime novels and story papers of the late 1800s-early 1900s, and it is off-putting today to read the casual and blatant bigotry that is usually present. It’s not just people of different races or religions to are looked down on either. Mexicans, Irish, Indians (both kinds), and most foreigners including Germans and French people come in for their share of condescending bigotry. Sometimes I have to wonder who felt secure enuf back then to be included in the privileged class. Attitudes and conditions among the races and social classes in the US could certainly be better today in 2013, but things have improved exponentially compared to the way the situation was in past decades. Never saw “Ben Hur” the movie! I am well neigh croggled! How could you have possibly avoided this blockbuster film? It shows on TV regularly and copies used to be in almost every video store in existence, back when video stores still existed. I read the book many years ago after seeing the movie and thot it was wordy but pretty good, discounting the preachy asides, but I feel the movie does an great job of turning a long book into an excellent movie experience. You definitely should give the film a viewing. Yes indeed, Dan Carrol’s bacover definitely brings up the rear of the fanzine nicely. But I uh-, er, digress.///

Brad W Foster - PO Box 165246, Irving, TX 75016

34 Latest meaty-thick issue of Fadeaway arrived this past week to much fanfare and rejoicing at the post office. (Seriously, those people are crazy, but in a good way!) Great image from Steve for the cover of this issue. And, while -he- might consider this "Hi There!" piece to be a salvo in his "anti-cuteness campaign", I'm sure there will be those who will recognize the creature depicted there as the multi-eyed Muggy-Whoopy, the most playful and cuddly of all creatures in the universe, reaching out for a big hug! How cute, Steve! While I very much enjoyed reading the wide range of subjects the articles covered this issue: a look back at Roger Ebert's fannish connection; Edmond Hamilton predicting future astronomical discoveries; the musical detective search; behind the scenes at the running of a gaming convention, and the decline of same; and the reviews of various comic-related books: all were enjoyable, but afraid I've nothing of any interest to add to the varied discussions. Nice variety of material though for sure which, as usual made for another great issue.

///My sincere apologies for forgetting to post your name and art credit in the art listings for the issue. I try to post every single bit of art, including clip art, but sooner or later a skip was bound to occur. I’m sorry it happened to be your name that got overlooked. I’ll have to take your word for it about the Muggy-Whoopy creature Steve Stiles depicted in the cover-art. Maybe its one of the long suppressed series of illos from the unpublished underground classic “Wertham’s Wiggly Reader--Toothsome Monsters for Twisted Tots”. Either way it’s not something I’d care to meet up with.///

Steve Stiles; 8631 Lucerne Road; Randallstown, Md. 21133

I’m glad to see that my cover illustration turned out well; it’s one of the few examples in fandom of my more illustrative attempts. I’ve been thinking of doing more of that in 2014 as a change of pace from my humorous work. Some time in the 1990s I was commissioned to do three Doc Savage comics and, unfortunately, the publisher gave me extremely short deadlines to pencil and ink each 24-page issue (and himself extremely long deadlines to pay me!). I did the best I could under those circumstances, but the end result looked awfully rushed, with poor lettering and coloring to boot, which resulted in a certain friend of mine periodically liking to hold up those issues as proof that I never should’ve tried to be a serious comic book illustrator, damn him. (Guess he overlooked Xenozoic Tales.) So I have a yen to do something more with The Man of Bronze some day, just to refute him. I also would like doing something with another nostalgic favorite, The Shadow. We’ll see: when I first retired I thought I’d have all the time in the world for dream projects (learning to do painted illustrations, writing a novel, doing a children’s book), but my time has an infuriating way of being filled up by the perpetually demanding mundane stuff –like, will I ever tame the English ivy and will our house ever stop falling apart? Thanks for the kind words about my art and the Fan Art Hugo. Although it would be nice to get one inasmuch as I’m a flaming egotist (most artists have to be, as a protection against grim reality), winning it was never the reason I do artwork for the fanzines –it was to entertain me, to amuse my friends, to try different things, and to have an audience. I do appreciate being nominated and hope that continues. I also hope that the Fan Hugos aren’t discontinued, as dear Milt Stevens has thoughtfully suggested. There are other people out there who deserve to be nominated as well; Dan Steffan does excellent work, as does Marc Schirmeister. Of course, as you and others, have pointed out, exposure is a key factor, and we’re all better known in the fanzine scene than in the convention circuit. On the suggestion of friends, I submitted three or four hopefully program book- appropriate spot illos to fifteen different convention committees this year. Three of them thanked me, two conventions that I know of printed my submissions, and from the other twelve: dead silence (insert sound of chirping crickets here). So I don’t know what happened with all that; an acknowledgement of some kind would’ve been welcome. One can only try. I appreciated getting the Rotsler Award, ditto with the FAAn Awards, and the Hugo nominations.

///Alas. you had a lot of people pulling for you, but again no silver rocket this year. And this despite your carefully planned publicity campaign too! (A discrete, tasteful poster illo is displayed on the following page.) However, I think this is probably the last year that any of the fan awards are going to have any relevance at all. Not only do the convention goers not bother with fanzine fandom any more, but increasingly the people who buy memberships and support world cons (and a lot of other big conventions as well), simply have no interest in science fiction fandom, organized or otherwise. These are the people whose votes are in an overwhelming majority. The vote totals for things like best media presentation of best print novel routinely rack up huge numbers of votes, but the number of votes cast in any of the fandom related awards is dramatically smaller.

35 I see this situation becoming more pronounced, as the convention organizers abandon any attempt to link their actual events with long time science fiction fans involved in fandom. This year, for example, despite a rules provision that limits the fanzine awards to the physical print medium, the convention allowed two internet postings/blogs to be nominated in that category, and one of them won. I view the situation at this point at pretty much hopeless. I would be a lot more enthusiastic about the Faan awards as a viable alternative if the people who run and participate in the Corflu convention were not so damn cliquish and self indulgent. It is difficult, perhaps impossible, for anybody who is not part of the Old-Boy network to attract any attention much less achieve any standing with this group. Still, it’s a hobby, not the end of the world. There are still a lot of people out there who appreciate fanzines, Old Style, and who appreciate creative efforts, especially the artistic brilliance creators like you so regularly demonstrate. Egoboo is still the accepted coin of the realm in SF fandom. On other subjects, I’d love to see you do some work on comic book adaptations of pulp mag heroes like the Shadow or Doc Savage. You might consider doing work on the Spider. Dynamite Comics is doing a lot of this stuff, and to be honest they haven’t got a clue as to how the Spider is supposed to work. The art is painted, drab, dark and difficult to follow. It might be great stuff for some other project, but it sure doesn’t work for The Spider comic book; and their stories are so meandering I have pretty much decided to stop buying the title. I am not the only one either. You might consider writing to Dynamite and offering your skills. There are other potential pulp heroes that could be turned into comics, including the Green Ghost, The Lady From Hell and a number of others now pretty much in the public domain. Jeeze, I wouldn’t mind seeing a modern comic book rendition of Operator #5 either.///

Milt Stevens; 6325 Keystone St.; Simi Valley, CA 93063

In Fadeaway #36, I encountered a moment of total horror. Louis Desy mentioned doing a Power-Point presentation with 350 slides. The idea made me shudder from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. In the 15 years since I retired, I haven’t had to think much about my Power-Point aversion, but it still seems to be there. I remember when Power-Point first appeared on the market. It seemed sort of neat initially. Then long boring Power-Point presentations became the norm. We started talking among ourselves about being beaten over the head with another Power-Point presentation. Some suggested they should be banned by the Geneva Convention. In any case, I can understand why Louis Desy isn’t attracting many people with long Power-Point presentations. It’s interesting that one of the Captain Future stories was correct as to the future name of Pluto’s as yet undiscovered moon. However, I’m afraid Captain Future stories got many more things wrong than right. As I recall, all of the nine planets were habitable in the series. In Captain Future and the Space Emperor, the red spot on Jupiter was a burning lake. The physics of that situation is enough to boggle the mind. Despite the flaws, I enjoyed Captain Future when I was a kid. I do think the later novelettes were better than most of the novels. Edmund Hamilton had become a better writer by the time he wrote the later stories.

36 It was morbid fascination that kept me reading Dick Tracy for years. The first fact I ever learned about crime analysis was from Dick Tracy. I commented to my father (an LAPD sergeant) that the murders in Dick Tracy were really dumb. He told me actual homicides were really dumb. In later years, I discovered that statement was absolutely true. Your comment about a murderer seeming to have a fetish about a knife was quite perceptive. Knives can be fetish items. In a crime analysis expert system, one of the assumptions was that if a woman was stabbed many times (30-50 or more) there was no sexual penetration. You may remember the case of the woman who stabbed her husband 120 times. That’s what a sexual frenzy can do. The one dimensional characters were strange but necessary. If the characters had been anything like realistic, the very real violence would have sent the series off into the EC Comics universe.

///The original 17 Captain Future stories were written to a rough formula and were specifically created/written as continued character pulp magazine adventures, sort of a juvenile boy’s book series that was printed in magazine form instead of in hard covers. Edmond Hamilton wrote them fast with a simpler narrative style, which is what the editors/publisher wanted. After the magazine was cancelled readers asked for more adventures, but Hamilton and Sam Merwin Jr., the editor then of Startling Stories, preferred a more adult version with a different slant to the stories, which is what Hamilton delivered. Back in the early 1960s I wrote a long article about Captain Future which Hamilton was kind enuf to comment on. I may get around to reprinting that sometime, since people keep asking about it even after all the passing years. I think you are right about the Dick Tracy characters. Even at their most sadistic and depraved I doubt the comic strip bad guys could match up with a lot of the real life killers and perverts that people modern society. Back when Tracy was in its heyday the newspapers were noticeably reluctant to provide too many details about real life murders or related atrocities. How many years did it take before the news media in any form would even use the word “rape”? I remember as a youngster wondering what ‘criminally assaulted’ meant, something that always seemed to involve women. I learned soon enuf. Gee; PowerPoint Phobia! I have only been exposed to a few PP talks in my life, which I suppose may be a blessing. As you say, it seems like a very useful tool, but I can see the potential for abuse and the stronger possibility for tedium and a mind numbing assault on a potential audience. Modern technology can be easily abused in by even well intentioned individuals.///

Joseph T. Major; 1409 Christy Ave.; Louisville, KY 40204-2040

There’s a disparity. At ConClave, in Bowling Green, Kentucky, I note that by day, the con space is populated with elderly people, gray if not white haired (like me), many with walkers or worse, moving slowly. The sun goes down and suddenly the area is flooded with youth; tattooed, pierced, spikes, moving en energetically to the music. ConCave does provide enuf to eat that going out is a matter of choice rather than necessity. I have a book by Roger Ebert of movie tropes; “The Bigger Little Book of Hollywood Cliches”. It does for movies what Diana Wynne Jones’s “The Tough Guide to Fantasyland” does for fantasy. Alas, too many use these books as guides for what to do. The interesting thing is that “Nancy” began as the children’s spin-off to :Fritz Ritz”. Which looked more interesting, there is a habit of writing down to children, which does not help. Jefferson Swycaffer forgets that in the “Tros of Samotrace: books, it’s not just Tros talking. Each chapter begins with a Gnomic Utterance from Tros’ mentor the Druid Talesan, until he kicked the bucket, at which point the heading became a bombastic paragraph from Tros’s War Journal (a habit I sdaw repeated in the Executioner pulp novel series). Odd that the reference to Dobson’s Random Jottings comes up here. The latest Reluctant Famulus also mentions the zine—the Richard M. Nixon issue, at that. Wollheim was responsible for bringing Edgar Rice Burroughs back into print, having cleverly noticed that the management at ERB,Inc. has failed to renew copyrights. Then he noticed that Houghton Mifflin had made a slip-up that threw “The Lord of the Rings” into the public domain here in the States. Being very proper and gentlemanly, Tolkien only referred to Ace as “pirates.”

George Phillies; 48 Hancock Hill Dr.; Worcester, MA 01609

As always I am delighted to receive the latest issue of Fadeaway. I am always extremely impressed with a large amount of fascinating material you are able to assemble about remarkable areas. It seems to me that I do recognize Steve Stiles’ style. I remember it from fanzines of four and five decades ago, that I found in the MIT SFS fanzine collection. He is a wonderful artist, better than a number of the fan artists who have received Hugo awards, and I would hope that he will soon receive the reward that he has certainly earned.

37 I have not been to science-fiction conventions in several years, because of my schedule at work. However, it seems to me that I see lots of younger people at science-fiction conventions, down to the Rugrats being carefully protected in isolated rooms. The large change I have noticed at science-fiction conventions over the past nearly five decades is the very substantial increase in the number of women who attend. Once upon a time, science-fiction conventions were much like board wargaming conventions, namely there were extremely few women in attendance. I am, incidentally, extremely grateful to you for noting the existence of The National Fantasy Fan Federation, which is the oldest non-regional science fiction organization in the world. This year I am chair of the N3F Directorate. We are advancing into the third millennium by creating a distribution list, under which people who would like to receive our fanzines electronically will get them for free. Dues paying allows people to vote for officers and to serve in office and a few other such things, but the fanzines will now be free electronically. I had wondered where DEET came from as a name, and now I know. Thank you. Decker’s description of the moons of Pluto is a remarkable bit of perhaps-prediction. There is a historical antecedent for this. In Gulliver’s Travels, the astronomers of if I recall correctly Lagado or perhaps the country that flies had managed to observe the moons of Mars. They observed two of them according to Swift, who wrote that story. One of the two moons of Mars was in such a close orbit that while it orbited in the correct direction it would be seen to rise in the West and set in the East because it was going around the planet faster than the planet was turning on its axis. It turns out that one of the real moons of Mars actually does this, and to the best of my knowledge is still the only moon in the solar system with this peculiar property. At some point in the last century someone did a very careful analysis of the available telescopes at the time that Jonathan Swift was writing, and concluded that it was not reasonable that any astronomer could have seen the moons of Mars in that period, happened to have mentioned them to Swift (that part is plausible), and managed to die or otherwise failed to publish. If you want to claim that Swift knew about the moons, he could only have been told by interplanetary or interstellar travelers who could perhaps have taught told him about all of those other strange countries, neglecting to mention that without exception those other strange countries did not happen to exist on our earth. The account of wargame conventions and difficulties with attendance is very interesting. I was around with some of the earliest wargaming conventions, which were held at MIT more than 40 years ago. I do see thanks to the AHIKS Kommandeur (AHIKS.com, a hobby club) a regular listing of wargame conventions. I can assure you that there are far more of them than there were 30 or 40 years ago. They may be more local, they may be smaller than GenCon or Origins, but wargaming conventions so far as I can tell are indeed alive and well and flourishing. I have started work on no fewer than three novels. Eclipse is a reprise of my first novel “This Shining Sea”, focused entirely on a single protagonist. Responding to Craig Shutt; Eclipse is indeed a super hero, a very powerful though not a very old one, who has somewhat worked out the lesson there are a lot of problems you cannot solve by breaking fragile nearby objects such as mountain ranges and star clusters. The novel is even more of her working out this useful truth. Of course she does face the minor challenge that the rest of the world views her as being an arch criminal, the supreme enemy of humanity. This really tends to interfere with her ability to make friends, let alone influence people. I am doing a start-of-the-20th-century novel vaguely inspired by the start of the Buck Rogers novels, namely that the aliens land, or at least arrive, in Tibet and proceed to conquer the world. They are somewhat limited by their manpower reserves, which are weak, and their lack of reinforcements. On the other hand they do have a lot of neat technology that they will slowly make visible. The tale is told from the point of view of an Englishman who originally accompanies the Younghusband expedition to Tibet, which in this world is wiped out more or less the last man, and then continues over the years to interact with the Tibetans, or rather the aliens, as they become the Empire of the Air and one segment at a time overrun the world. Of course, there are a lot of modern writers who will say well anyone with space travel will show up and drop rocks on their opponents until they surrender. I have found a simple solution for this unfortunate and extremely dull plot element. The aliens do not have space travel. In fact, by late in the book, or perhaps the next book, it is possible their aircraft will really not be as good as ours if you ignore the disintegrator rays. The aliens arrive here by hyper spatial tube, disembark onto the surface of the planet in lumps the largest the hyper spatial tube can send it a shot, namely

38 200 pounds, and must then build up from there. Their home base is in the process of getting wrecked, because they did not successfully conquer the last planet as well as they thought they had. The last novel has the working title “The Eddorian Lensman” though I will carefully not abuse the memory of EE Smith let alone his copyright issues by making the similarity too transparent. I will do a few things with intergalactic wars, notably I will put in a reasonable number for the size of the major battle fleets. A quadrillion warships appears to be about right for a whole galaxy. The hero is the surviving bad guy, who figured out rather in advance that the fact that the bad guys kept losing had important message about their competence, organization, theory, and attitude towards the universe. He also concluded that a culture based largely on how much you could torture and degrade your slaves possibly had some peculiar issues related to its historical past; the fact that bad guys were incapable of trusting each other was a serious political weakness. He does, however, do a few interesting things, for example noting that the good guys’ super-species had something religious against genetic manipulation, so that they must resort to these incredibly complicated breeding patterns in order to develop third stage Lensman, who of course will not be called that in the book. At an interesting moment he intervenes and elevates the coordinator’s wife from second to third level, not with ulterior motives but simply because he thinks it might be an appropriate idea. My prior novel, “Mistress of the Waves”, has had a lot of reviews on Amazon, most reasonably favorable. The people who are looking for nonstop combat from page 1 to page 700 I fear are going to be slightly disappointed, but you can’t have everything. I regularly shop at the one comic and everything else store in central Massachusetts. I tend to shop at fairly strange hours, because it is always very crowded with young people and middle-age people and even a few fossils like me. Indeed, it is rather more crowded than I remember it being a bunch of years ago. The number of people I see working behind the desks and so forth also, it seems to me, are larger than they used to be. By the way, in addition to the comic store in Worcester, there is also a comic store in Northampton that I walk by every time I go to Northampton to visit my gourmet cooking equipment store. Those comic people just opened a new branch store in New York State. Joseph Major mentioned “Terror from Planet Ionus”. It is my distinct recollection, though I may be mistaken, that the same author did the novelization of Forbidden Planet. For the period, the latter novelization had some rather impressive bits, notably that it was told chapter by chapter from the point of view of a series of different characters. That was radically innovative at the time, as far as I recall. My perspective on the motion picture was that there were two hanging pieces that would have allowed a sequel to be made, if people in that period had been into sequels. It is hardly plausible that a real laboratory has built into its floor an Explode Planet button. After all, I have had several laboratories my own, and I assure you I never even considered installing such a device. So where did it come from? The clear answer is that the Krell civilization had reached mind over matter synthesis, calling material objects into existence out of nothing. The button was summoned in the hour of need. There are two obvious people who could have summoned it. Dr. Morbius himself, realizing how dangerous his planet was, could have done this in order to save the universe. That is, at the very end, he actually did achieve a sufficient elevation of his mental power once to be able to summon an object out of nothing. The other answer, carefully skipped over, was that his daughter Altaira was the beneficiary from a very young age of Krell educational techniques, had a far vaster understanding of what was going on than her father did because she was far smarter, and installed not only the device but in her father the memory that the device existed. It was his choice whether or not to use it. She now returns to earth, and at some point privately gets ask the robot if the Krell universal library is still installed in its left leg, which of course it is. I have published one novel, “The One World”, via Kindle, CreateSpace, and Smashwords, and can report that reader interest in the paperback version at createspace is extremely small. Amazon Kindle sells a great deal. Smashwords sells some.

39