Intimate Relationships of Adults Raised in Same-Sex Families" (2012)

University of North Dakota UND Scholarly Commons Theses and Dissertations Theses, Dissertations, and Senior Projects January 2012 Intimate Relationships Of Adults Raised In Same- Sex Families Thomas Roskos Follow this and additional works at: https://commons.und.edu/theses Recommended Citation Roskos, Thomas, "Intimate Relationships Of Adults Raised In Same-Sex Families" (2012). Theses and Dissertations. 1315. https://commons.und.edu/theses/1315 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Theses, Dissertations, and Senior Projects at UND Scholarly Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of UND Scholarly Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS OF ADULTS RAISED IN SAME-SEX FAMILIES by Thomas Roskos Bachelor of Science, University of Wisconsin, 2004 Master of Arts, University of North Dakota, 2008 A Dissertation Submitted to the Graduate Faculty of the University of North Dakota In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Grand Forks, North Dakota August 2012 This dissertation, submitted by Thomas Roskos in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy from the University of North Dakota, has been read by the Faculty Advisory Committee under whom the work has been done, and is hereby approved. ___________________________________ Dr. Kara Wettersten, Chairperson ___________________________________ Dr. David Whitcomb ___________________________________ Dr. Dorlene Walker ___________________________________ Dr. Cheryl Terrance ___________________________________ Dr. Carenlee Barkdull This dissertation is being submitted by the appointed advisory committee as having met all of the requirements of the Graduate School at the University of North Dakota and is hereby approved. ________________________________________ Dr. Wayne Swisher, Dean of the Graduate School ________________________________________ Date ii PERMISSION Title Intimate Relationships of Adults Raised in Same-Sex Families Department Counseling Psychology Degree Doctor of Philosophy In presenting this dissertation in partial fulfillment of the requirements for a graduate degree from the University of North Dakota, I agree that the library of this University shall make it freely available for inspection. I further agree that permission for extensive copying for scholarly purposes may be granted by the professor who supervised my dissertation work or, in her absence, by the Chairperson of the department or the dean of the Graduate School. It is understood that any copying or publication or other use of this dissertation or part thereof for financial gain shall not be allowed without my written permission. It is also understood that due recognition shall be given to me and to the University of North Dakota in any scholarly use which may be made of any material in my dissertation. Thomas Roskos July 9, 2012 iii TABLE OF CONTENTS LIST OF FIGURES ....................................................................................................... ix LIST OF TABLES ......................................................................................................... x ABSTRACT................................................................................................................... xi CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTION .................................................................................... 1 Overview of the Literature ............................................................... 3 Historical Context of Research on Bisexual, Lesbian and Gay Family Issues ......................................................... 4 Defining Same-sex Families ................................................ 7 Topic Areas and Trends in Same-sex Family Research ...... 10 Lesbian Mothers and Gay Fathers ....................................... 14 Creating Context for Research on Lesbian and Gay Parents ....................................................................... 14 Deconstructing the Traditional Family ..................... 16 Same-sex Families ............................................................... 26 Children of Same-sex Parents .............................................. 29 Adults Raised as Children in Same-sex Families ................ 33 Limitations of the Same-sex Parenting Research ................ 37 Attachment Theory .............................................................. 37 Overview of Attachment Theory ............................... 38 iv Romantic Relationships ....................................................... 40 Adolescent Romantic Relationships .......................... 42 Relationship Maintenance Behaviors ........................ 44 Grounded Theory ............................................................................. 47 Constant Comparison ........................................................... 50 Theoretical Sampling ........................................................... 50 Data Analysis ....................................................................... 52 Open Coding ............................................................. 52 Axial Coding ............................................................. 52 Selective Coding ....................................................... 53 Memo Writing ........................................................... 53 Auditing ..................................................................... 54 Purpose............................................................................................. 54 II. METHOD ................................................................................................. 58 Participants....................................................................................... 58 Measures .......................................................................................... 59 Research Team ..................................................................... 60 Procedure ............................................................................. 61 Interview Questions ................................................... 61 Interview Protocol ..................................................... 62 Procedures for Analyzing Data ................................. 65 III. RESULTS ................................................................................................. 72 Categories ........................................................................................ 73 v Identity ................................................................................. 73 Discovery Phase ........................................................ 74 Reflection Phase ........................................................ 75 Adjustment Phase ...................................................... 76 Appreciation Phase .................................................... 77 Discrimination ..................................................................... 79 Experiences of Discrimination .................................. 79 Managing Discrimination .......................................... 81 Disclosing ............................................................................ 88 Parents Coming Out to their Children ....................... 89 Disclosing to Peers .................................................... 90 Disclosing to Partners ................................................ 92 The Impact of Disclosing .......................................... 93 Disclosing to Children ............................................... 95 Relationships .................................................................................... 96 Partner Selection .................................................................. 97 Gender Expectations ................................................. 98 Contextual Influences ......................................................... 101 Previous Relationship Experiences .......................... 101 The Influence of Parents .......................................... 103 Gender Roles....................................................................... 105 Sexuality ............................................................................. 108 Central Category: Acceptance ......................................................... 112 vi Dealing with Heterosexism and Homophobia ..................... 114 Disclosing the Family Identity ............................................. 116 Identity ................................................................................. 117 Close Relationships.............................................................. 118 Sexuality and Gender Roles ................................................. 120 IV. DISCUSSION ........................................................................................... 124 Overview of the Discussion ............................................................. 125 Discrimination ..................................................................... 125 Protective Strategies .................................................. 126 Advocacy Strategies .................................................. 129 Acceptance ........................................................................... 132 Families ..................................................................... 133 Gender and Sexuality ................................................ 135 Disclosing ...........................................................................

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