One-for-One Directions CONTENTS Guidelines One-for-One cycles, finding partners, and maintaining record 2 Notes Some things to notice when doing One-for-One 3 One-for-One Summary A quick reference summary of a One-for-One cycle 4 Detailed Instructions for a One-for-One cycle An in-depth guide through a One-for-One cycle 6 DOCUMENTS The following is a list of the documents you will need for One-for-One: • One-for-One Directions • One-for-One Record Log • Worksheet Packet for a One-for-One Cycle (containing the following documents) o One-for-One Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet (JYNW) o One-for-One Follow Up Exercise o One-for-One Self-Evaluation The following are reference documents for One-for-One: • Katie’s Comments About Filling in the One-for-One JYNW • Sample JYNW for Resolution One-for-One These documents can be found at www.instituteforthework.com. While logged in, you may click on “One-for- One” under the ITW Resources menu and download there. Please direct all questions regarding One-for-One or the Certification Program to [email protected]. © 2011 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. www.thework.com OneForOne_Directions Rev. 25 Jan 2011 GUIDELINES The One-for-One program consists of a cycle of eight sessions in which you work with a partner to support each other by exchanging facilitations on JYNWs, reciprocating guidance in giving and receiving feedback, and identifying underlying motives. You will find instructions for the eight sessions below in Detailed Instructions for a One-for-One cycle. Each month, you will be paired with a new partner through our automated system; without repeat and by pairing for-credit with for-credit participants only. Non-credit will be paired with non-credit participants. You may also search for a partner in the One-for-One Forum. Partners meet for sessions by phone, Skype, or in person, and times are to be determined by mutual availability. Each of the eight sessions is given one hour of credit toward certification. Certified Facilitator candidates are required to complete a total of 160 hours of credit in the One-for-One program, which equals twenty One-for- One cycles. One-for-One also requires that you spend time outside of the one-hour sessions writing JYNWs, Follow-Up Exercises, a Self-Evaluation, maintaining your Record Logs, doing The Work on what comes up for you, and sitting in silent meditation. All is integral to One-for-One. Each One-for-One cycle must be completed within the course of one month from the start date, as often as you’d like, completing at least one session with your partner each week. You are not required to do a One-for- One cycle every month, however, if you wish to do more than one cycle of One-for-One per month, you are welcome to do this with a separate partner (credit is not awarded when partners are repeated). All One-for-One sessions must be recorded on the One-for-One Record Log to receive credit. If you are unable to complete all eight sessions of a One-for-One cycle for any reason, it will not count as a complete cycle, and you will not receive credit for the hours you completed. It is your responsibility to retain all of your One-for-One JYNWs, Follow-Up Exercises and Record Logs. (If you lose any of these records, start over with what you have.) You must bring them to the Seven-day Certification Graduate Course to receive One-for-One credit. NOTES As a Facilitator As facilitator, be a student rather than a teacher. Remember that facilitating is for your enlightenment as you support your client. Really listen as your client responds to the four questions and shares their turnarounds and examples. Notice your own answers as they surface and fill the silence in you. Notice your own discoveries and internally witness your client’s as well. We stunt our own growth, and that of our client, when we give unnecessary, unsolicited advice and assume that is what the client needs. Notice when you want to give advice, and realize that the advice is for you. Silently feel what it’s like to realize what you want your partner to realize. It is your job as facilitator to gently guide the client back to inquiry any time they defend, justify, or argue for or against the concept being worked. Notice when they attempt to persuade you with philosophies that override inquiry. Remind them (through your own understanding) that The Work works when they answer the questions, then begin your facilitation again where you left off. As a Client Notice when you stray from inquiry and begin to crosstalk. Remember that The Work works when you answer the questions deeply, slowly, and authentically. Your answers are the power of The Work. Defense, justification, and making assumptions are not answers. It is your job to let your partner know that you want The Work, not therapy, chit-chat, or advice. Be clear, fearless, and genuine. Page 2 of 8 © 2011 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. www.thework.com OneForOne_Directions Rev. 25 Jan 2011 ONE-FOR-ONE SUMMARY The following summary of a One-for-One cycle is simply for quick reference. Detailed Instructions for a One-for- One cycle are found on pages six through ten below. Session One • client reads original JYNW, completed before the session • facilitator completes a JYNW of concepts identified from client’s Worksheet • facilitator makes an audio recording of the session • each partner completes a Follow-Up Exercise, after the session • each partner records 1 hour in the One-for-One Record Log Session Two • each partner reads their Follow-Up Exercise from the previous session • client reads original JYNW, completed before the session • facilitator completes a JYNW of concepts identified from client’s Worksheet • facilitator makes an audio recording of the session • each partner completes a Follow-Up Exercise, after session • each partner records 1 hour in the One-for-One Record Log Session Three • each partner reads their Follow-Up Exercise from the previous session • client reads the original JYNW, completed before the session • facilitator completes a JYNW of concepts identified from client’s Worksheet • facilitator makes an audio recording of the session (if the first recording was unsuccessful) • each partner completes a Follow-Up Exercise, after the session • each partner records 1 hour in the One-for-One Record Log Session Four • each partner reads their Follow-Up Exercise from the previous session • client reads the original JYNW, completed before the session • facilitator completes a JYNW of concepts identified from client’s Worksheet • facilitator makes an audio recording of the session (if the first recording was unsuccessful) • each partner completes a Follow-Up Exercise, after the session • each partner records 1 hour in the One-for-One Record Log Session Five • each partner completes a solitary Self-Evaluation, using the audio recording of their facilitation • each partner records 1 hour in the One-for-One Record Log Session Six • each partner reads their Follow-Up Exercise from Session Four • both partners discuss their Self-Evaluation • each partner completes a Follow-Up Exercise, after the session • each partner records 1 hour in the One-for-One Record Log Page 3 of 8 © 2011 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. www.thework.com OneForOne_Directions Rev. 25 Jan 2011 Session Seven • each partner reads their Follow-Up Exercise from the previous session • both partners read original JYNWs, based on each other, completed before the session • complete a Resolution One-for-One Exercise (see Detailed Instructions below) • each partner completes a Follow-Up Exercise, after the session • each partner writes a letter of amends (if amends are found) • each partner records 1 hour in the One-for-One Record Log Session Eight • each partner reads their Follow-Up Exercise from the previous session • complete a Resolution One-for-One Exercise (partners switch roles) • each partner completes a Follow-Up Exercise, after the session • each partner writes a letter of amends (if amends are found) • each partner records 1 hour in the One-for-One Record Log • schedule time to read your last Follow-Up Exercise and any amends letters to each other. Total hours logged: 8 Page 4 of 8 © 2011 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. www.thework.com OneForOne_Directions Rev. 25 Jan 2011 DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS FOR A ONE-FOR-ONE CYCLE Before Session One You will need to make an audio recording of a session. Here are some options: • Using your telephone: you may set up a free conference call line with recording capability at www.freeconferencecall.com (long distance charges apply). • Using Skype: You may obtain a Skype recorder for your computer. o For a Mac go to www.ecamm.com/mac/callrecorder ($19.95 as of Feb 2010) o For a PC go to www.skyperec.com/index.htm ($14.95 as of Feb 2010) • In person: You may use a recording device. Always inform the client you are working with that the session is being recorded. Contact your partner and set up a date and time for Session One. Determine who will be the client and who will be the facilitator. The client will bring a completed One-for-One JYNW to the first session. Session One The client brings a completed One-for-One JYNW to the session. The facilitator brings a blank One-for-One JYNW. Each partner fills in the top right hand box on his or her own Worksheet, making sure the start and end times match and are entered in Pacific Time (PT).