Managing the Defiant Child Transcript of Speakers

Module 2. Managing the Defiant Child at School Topic A. Powerful Student Discipline Techniques and Strategies

Clip 1: Questions Disciplinarians Ask

TONY SCANNELLA : And we hope that what we can offer you are some practical strategies and solutions to prevent most discipline problems in the school, and also to give you some insight into the root causes of misbehavior and the root causes for disruptive kinds of behavior of kids today. And one of the things that we did before we start the program is to let you know how we developed this program.

What we did was we did not rely on textbooks. We did not rely on theory. We went into schools, and we interviewed and observed teachers and administrators working with children. And the idea was to find the best disciplinarians—find out what they did, how they talked, what they did with their hands, what their tone of voice was when they were disciplining students—and to compile a list of skills. And we figured that if we got these skills and we took them and installed them, so to speak, in someone who’s having discipline problems in the classroom, perhaps they would turn out to be good disciplinarians as well. And that happened and we’re very excited about the results.

So we have a long list of skills, and we noticed things—for example, the way teachers walked into a room, how they held their head, what they did with their hands, whether they were natural, and what the responses were of the children that they were teaching. We found out, for example, one of what we call, excuse the expression, one of

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 1 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators the stupid questions that disciplinarians ask who are having problems with discipline is,

"What are you doing?" So if a student is carving his name in the desk, and a teacher walks in and she says, "What are you doing?" The response, of course, is gonna be, "I’m carving my name in the desk." So that would be, you know, ask a stupid question, you get a stupid response.

The question that good disciplinarians would ask would be, "What should you be doing?" And the response would be, "Well, I should be doing my math." "Well, then do your math." So you get a different kind of response. And those were some of the things that we noticed.

We also found out that you can’t change behavior at the behavioral level. You need to change—if you want to change behavior you must change it at the belief level.

And we’ll be discussing that when we get into more of the program. If you change behavior at the behavioral level, for example, then detention should work, suspension should work. And I think that it's a problem, and what we tend to do is go back to something that we’re familiar with, the way that we were disciplined. And that doesn’t work today with today’s kids.

Another thing that we found was that something that makes this program a little bit different from the rest of the discipline programs out there is that you can’t discipline kids unless you know the kind of child you’re dealing with, the kind of specific personality. And that’s where Denise comes in because she’s an expert in personality profiling. And we discovered there are certain basic personalities. We can be classified into certain categories. And then there are patterns within those major categories. And www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 2 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

when you know, for example, a student is a particular personality. For example, one of the personality styles is called a director. I’m a director. The first impulse for a director is to yell. So if I’m angry, I will yell. If I’m a director teacher, I will yell at a student. If that child is a director student, what do you think that child is going to do? He or she is going to yell back.

So those are three things that we think make this program a little bit different.

One, we have a communication model that deals with everyday tasks, keeping kids on task, diffusing anger. We have a personality profile that scientifically helps teachers identify the specific kind of personality you’re dealing with and how to deal with that at a behavioral level. And the third is that we have a belief change. A change in belief will change the behavior. And we think that this makes the CLICK program very unique.

Clip 2: Gaining Rapport with Every Student

TONY SCANNELLA: So before we begin, I’d like to present to you the model that actually is John

Saphier's model in his book, The Skillful Teacher. He is a model of teaching. And as you can see from the diagram, there are lots of things involved in the act of teaching. It is a very complex and very difficult kind of job. If you will notice on the chart that everything from space time and routine down to rapport has to do with classroom management. If that is not in place, then you can’t teach. And the CLICK program concentrates in these areas: Momentum, time, discipline, clarity, and rapport. Rapport is the building block for the entire program of CLICK. We will show you not only why rapport and trust is very important, but how to get rapport and trust with anyone at www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 3 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

anytime in any place. And I think this is a skill that is quite useful. A lot of programs tell you must get rapport with students. Very few show you how to get rapport with students.

And we will show you how.

So to begin with, I’d like to set a frame for the CLICK program. These are attitudes and beliefs that I think are necessary to be a successful teacher and disciplinarian in the school. The first one is, people act out the way they view life. Now, if you take the word life and you sort of cross it out and you put the word job, people act out the way they view their jobs. You either love what you do or you don’t love what you do. As a teacher, as an educator, if you love what you do, if you love children, if you like coming to school, if you get enthusiastic every single day, then you should have fewer discipline problems. In most cases, that will be true. If you don’t like what you do, then you’re going to run into some roadblocks.

Now, to give you an example of a little metaphor of what I’m talking about,

Denise and I were, a number of years ago, doing an ASCD conference in New York City; and after the conference, we went out for dinner. And in New York City they have cafés where they sort of crowd you in. And we were sitting very close to someone sort of right in back of me, and I overheard the conversation word for word. And this gentleman was discussing something with a friend, and his conversation went along the lines of this.

"All I do is get up in the morning, eat, get dressed and go to work." And he talked a little bit more. And he said, "You know, all I do is get up in the morning, eat, get dressed and go to work."

So now I’m looking at Denise, and I'm wondering what this conversation is all www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 4 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

about. And he said it again. "You know, all I do is get up in the morning, eat, get dressed and go to work." So at this point I looked at Denise and I said, "What the heck is he talking about?" And he said it again. And I finally turned around and I said, "Excuse me. Tomorrow get up, eat, don’t get dressed and go to work, and maybe your life will be a little more interesting." So the point is if you walk into an environment, whether it’s in the business world or in education, if you don’t have that attitude that you want to be there, it’s going to be very difficult to teach and to teach effectively. Because I think the kids, the children in the classroom, notice that and it’s real important to be in that kind of a good mood, so to speak.

The second frame that I’d like to put around the program is that motivation equals expected results. Whatever you expect kids to do, that’s what they’re going to do, no more no less. Now, if you don’t set expectations that are clear, if you don’t discuss them, then a lot of things happen. One, for example, is that kids will put limitations where there are none or they make up their own expectations. They make up their own rules.

They did a famous experiment a long time ago in Psychology 101. What they did was they had a number of college sophomores coming into a room working with psychologists in this experiment. Psychologists either work with college sophomores or rats. Today they were working with college sophomores. They were working with these college sophomores and they were coming in one at a time and they had a big bowl placed in the middle of the room. And as they walked through the door, the set of directions was this – get these rings—there were little rings—get these rings in the bowl.

Those were the only directions they gave the college sophomores. Well what do you

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 5 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators think happened? Some of them stood back, and they said, "Okay, that’s easy." And from where they were standing, they threw the rings into the bowl. Some walked a little closer and said, "Could we stand over here?" They said, "We can’s say anything." Some walked a little closer and threw them from midpoint. Others walked over—very few— and put them in the bowl. What were they doing? They were putting limitations where there were none. There weren’t expectations set. The directions were not clear. They were nebulous. And, so, behavior starts to act in a crazy—the students' behavior starts to act in a crazy way. And this is exactly what I’m talking about. Every classroom must have a set of expectations and very clear and sensible kinds of rules.

The third thing—and this is sort of what I referred to before I alluded back to rapport. Rapport is the basis of the entire program. And we’re going to show you in a little while how to get rapport with anyone.

Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about. I’m not talking about knowing a child’s brother, the family, or I know them. It’s not a superficial kind of knowing. It’s really knowing the idiosyncratic behaviors, the likes, the dislikes, the values of every single child that you teach.

I walked into a middle school a number of years ago, and as I walked into the main office there was a young boy screaming hysterically. And I went over to the principal, and I said, "What’s the problem with this child?" He’s blood curdling screaming. And the principal said, "Oh, don’t worry about it, no one gets along with this kid, he’s a rotten kid." And to my surprise I said, "Well, wait a minute. I don’t think there are rotten kids in this world. There may be obnoxious kids; the kids that you can’t

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 6 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators get along with, but there are no such things—there is no such thing—as a rotten kid." He said, "Well, don’t worry about it. He'll be okay. Let him scream." Is that a limitation?

Is that relationship sort of over? That’s what I’m talking about.

Well, I thought about that for a while. And I remembered that a friend of mine who is a pretty famous musician that came out of New Jersey—one of the best rock and roll musicians that ever came out of New Jersey—was invited to Rahway State Prison— which is now called East Jersey Prison—to play for prisoners as a charity event. So he brought his band there. And he was in a room locked in with 400 prisoners. And when you’re a musician, you go out to impress the audience. You always play your best song first. So they played their best song and at the end of the song, this is what happened.

There was only one prisoner clapping in the front, and no one else was clapping. Now, he starts to get a little nervous. They played their next best song. At the end of the song, the same person was clapping. No one else was clapping. Now, he began to get very nervous; and you would be too with 400 hundred prisoners locked up in a room with you.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He gets a bright idea, and he turns to the band and he says, "Play Row, Row, Row

Your Boat." And the drummer looks at him astonished, and he says, "What?" He said,

"Play Row, Row, Row Your Boat. He said, "We cannot play that song; they’ll kill us."

He said, "Just play the song. They said, "Okay." So they started to play the song, and he started to sing, "Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream. All the murderers! Row, row, row—all the thieves!"

Well, they went crazy screaming and clapping.

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The point is this: That if my friend can get rapport with 400 prisoners just like that, don’t tell me you can’t get rapport with one ten‐year‐old child in your school.

However, these are the myths and the beliefs that we live with. And lots of people will buy into that belief that you can’t get along with one ten‐year‐old child. And I think that destroys rapport; it destroys relationships.

And the last thing is that in terms of responsibility. People viewed as responsible will act that way. And I know that as a young boy growing up in the city, I had some problems in school. And I noticed what they did to me was they always took things away from me. They took away my field trip experiences, they took away my textbooks, they took away the good teachers, and they sort of isolated me. And I think that that’s a little backwards. I think if you want to change behavior that you’ve got to enrich that child’s life. You don’t takes things away. I’m not talking about spoiling a child or lack of discipline. I’m talking about enriching a child’s life. That’s a different philosophy, a different way of looking at things. You don’t take things away that will make the behavior worse. You’ve gotta work, you’ve gotta improve relationships, you’ve got to get rapport, you’ve got to set your expectations, and you have to have a good attitude.

And, so, this is sort of the frame that I would like to put around this.

Clip 3: Learning Styles Impact Student Discipline

TONY SCANNELLA: Well this is very well and good, but how do you do this? What are the ways to change? And we always sort of resist when change comes about. There are a number of things that I think you have to consider. The first one is that you have to raise your

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 8 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators standards. Whatever they are, just raise your standards. I think what is happening in our society today is that we are lowering our standards on a daily basis. We are raising the tolerance bar, and we are lowering our standards. I think we have to look around at what we’re doing, we have to take a deep breath, and we have to say to ourselves, "What do we really want to tolerate in our schools?"

For example, in the many schools that I’ve been in with Denise we notice there’s an increase in vulgar language. We notice that there’s an increase in pushing and shoving, bullying. And those things cannot be tolerated in any school. Schools are still the safest places to be, but they are slowly becoming—we're slowly eroding that idea that schools are safe. And that’s because we don’t look around, we don’t keep our standards high. And we must communicate this to our children.

One of the things, for example—we really don’t get into instructional pieces in this program—but one of the things that we all know about learning styles, and I’m not talking about fancy programs. I’m talking about whether or not a child is a visual learner, an auditory learner, or a kinesthetic learner. Most teachers know about that, but when I ask the question, How many of you know the learning styles of every child in your classroom or every child in the school, all the hands come down. My point is that if you’re going to learn a skill, you’ve got to have a piece of knowledge, unity, and then utilize that.

The fact is that if you don’t think about learning styles in terms of discipline, if you’re a very visual teacher, for example, and you use lots of visual—you use overheads, you use films, and you use lots of visual words‐ ‐well, you’re leaving out a lot of the

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 9 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators auditory and kinesthetic learners. And in fact what happens to the brain is that it shuts down, it gets confused. And in terms of discipline, if the brain is confused, what it does is it looks to go to the first thing that makes sense to it consciously. So if a student next to a child who is confused sees another child laughing and fooling around, the child right away says, "Well, I’m going to go over there because I don’t want to be uncomfortable here." But the brain shuts down if you don’t pay attention to what learning style the child happens to be comfortable in.

So learning modalities are very important in terms of discipline. But that’s what

I’m talking about. I’m talking about raising your standards a little bit. You learn something, then you should carry it out, work with it, all year long until you perfect it.

And in this instance with learning styles, it has a direct correlation to improving discipline in the classroom. It lessens confusion.

A second way to change is to consider the limiting beliefs that you have. For example, if you feel a child cannot learn, if you feel a child is always disruptive—and I use the word always in quotes—then that’s the way you’re going to approach that child.

But it’s the way; it's what you say to children, it’s what you say to your students that does make a difference. One word could weaken a child psychologically and physically.

And what I’d like to do is to bring in a colleague of mine, Chuck Stein, for this demonstration. And I’m sure you’ve seen this demonstration probably before, but what

I’d like to do—because it makes a good point in terms of how powerful you are as a person, how powerful language is. So what I’m going to do is I’m going to set two things up here. First, Chuck, what I’m going to do is I’m going to compliment you; I’m going

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 10 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators to tell you how wonderful you look today. And then we’re gonna have a breaker state, and then I’m going to insult him. And what I want to do is to show to you what happens physically—never mind psychologically—but physically what happens to a child when they’re insulted.

So first, what we’re going to do—and we’re going to test this strength—But first what I’d like you to do is to face forward, okay. And I’m going to compliment him. So,

Chuck, I’m looking at you now, and you’re dressed nicely today. You look very handsome; your clothes match beautifully. It's a beautiful tie, shiny shoes, and you look like the epitome of an executive.

CHUCK: Thank you.

TONY: Okay. And what I’d like to do is while he is in such a wonderful state here, I’d like to test his strength. Now you’re right?

CHUCK: Yes.

TONY: Okay. And now there isn’t anything physically wrong with your arm? I’m going to ask you to hold your arm out that way and make a fist. What I’m going to do is I’m going to really, with all my might, push down really hard on your arm. And what I want you to do is resist by pushing up. All right? And we’ll do this for a few seconds when I say three. Are you ready for this?

CHUCK: www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 11 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

I’m ready.

TONY: All right. One, two, three. Push up. Now, I’m pushing down really hard. And he’s pushing up. Okay? Now relax. Now, what I’d like to show you is now I’m going to insult Chuck, and we’ll do the same experiment. We’ll test his strength again. Now I’m insulting you with your permission. So you have to realize—

CHUCK: If you go too far—

TONY: Okay. So what I’m going to do is to insult him, and I’m gonna make fun of him. Then

I’m going to test his strength again, but this time I’m going to use one or two fingers. And you will see that he will have no resistance, no strength left in his arm. And that’s what happens to the brain and that’s what happens to the body.

So let’s do it again. So anyway, Chuck, as I was saying before, I was only kidding. Your pants are kind of wrinkled today, and this jacket, I think, is too tight because I think you’re getting a little stomach there from overeating too much. And your hair doesn’t look good today, it’s a little messy in the front. What did you do, go through a windstorm today before you got here? And those glasses, they’re outdated. You gotta get new glasses. This is the year 2000. Okay?

CHUCK: Okay.

TONY: Are you ready for this, weakling?

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CHUCK: I'm ready.

TONY: Okay. Let’s try the same experiment. So, he has his arm up, two fingers. And we'll try it again. Okay, weakling? One, two, three. And you’ll notice that he has no strength. Do you want to try it again? Thank you very much. Okay.

Now, the reason for that is, is that just by—and this is role playing. But the reason is that not only does a child get affected psychologically, but physically as well.

And that’s an important concept to understand. That you’re sarcastic to a student, if you make fun of a student, if you label children, this is the sort of thing that goes on both in mind and body. And that’s what happens when a child is under stress. Both psychologically and physically you become weakened. And there isn’t a child in this world that can learn when they’re under stress. And I want you all to understand this concept.

So language is very powerful; and the way you talk to students, the way you approach students, does make a difference. And always remember that if a child is stressed out that that is not a time to start screaming and yelling. That is the time to sit down and have the child relax, to rethink some of the thoughts, to get themselves together, and to have them think about what they’re going to do next in a positive way.

And we’ll discuss that later on also.

Clip 4: Changing Student Beliefs Helps Change Behavior

TONY SCANELLA: As we said before, we think that behavior does not change at the behavioral level; it’s changed at the belief level. If you changed the belief, behavior follows almost www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 13 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

automatically. I know this is true, and in terms of therapy—been doing therapy for a number of years and working with lots of destructive kids and kids who are struggling through school.

So what we’re saying is—if we could remember we went back to that model that we showed you with identity and values and beliefs and capabilities and behavior environment—you look at that model that says that you need to concentrate in the behavior—and, believe me, change occurs in an instant; it doesn’t take years to change.

Any change that you’ve ever made, occurs in an instant. And what I would like to explain to, if you and refer to your handout, "Belief and Behavior Change," you’ll see that this is a model that was developed by a good friend of mine, Dr. Joseph Jaeger, of Linguistics in Newtown, Pennsylvania. And what this model says is that you have a present state for the state of misbehavior and you want to reach, you want the student to reach a desired state where the state where the good behavior is apparent.

So what you’ve got to do, if you look at the handout—it’s divided into sections:

Goals, assumptions or beliefs—they’re basically the same thing—rules, behavior, and outcomes. And the way this works is this. You sit down with a student and you say

“Okay, you’re behaving a certain way, and you need to improve your behavior.” So you map out on a piece of paper from left to right, this model. And here’s how it goes. What are you doing now? The student will respond, "Well, I’m hitting Suzie all the time in the classroom. Okay, that’s your goal; and you explained it in the language that's appropriate for the student. Cause we’ve done this with kindergarten, first grade, all the way up to seniors. So that’s what you’re doing and that’s like a goal and as you do that, this is what www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 14 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

happens. And then you point to the outcome. Because you hit Suzie, you get in lots of trouble. Your parents are called and you may get suspended from school, you may have to leave the classroom, whatever the consequences have been. You continue to do this, this is the outcome, this is what will happen.

So we have to change that. But basically, let’s look at what you’re doing. You’re hitting Suzie, and you’re getting in trouble. Then you go to the part that says "behavior."

And you say, “What are you actually doing physically?” And you have the student demonstrate—Well, I'm I’m walking over to Susie, and I’m hitting her over the head.

Okay, now, what rules are you playing in order for you to do that? And you explain rules. Children understand what rules are. You may say, “You know what rules are.”

For example, in a baseball game, if you hit out of the line, then it’s a foul ball.

So what are the rules that you’re playing by in order for you to do this kind of behavior. Well, the rule is that I can hit anybody I want. Okay And what is the belief that you have to have and explain beliefs. What do you feel inside that makes you do that? Well, that it doesn’t matter who people are; I don’t care about people. Okay.

That’s a belief that you have that people don’t matter. Now, we want to change that. As long as you keep doing this, you’re going to get in trouble. Now, let’s work, let’s work this through together. Let’s get a different goal. What could the goal be?

Now this is the desired state. You map it out again. Goal, assumptions, rules, behavior, and outcome. What’s a different goal? What’s something that you could do differently? Well, I could sit there and mind my own business and keep my hands to myself. Okay. That’s good. What will that get you? What is the outcome? The www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 15 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

outcome is that I won't get in trouble. Okay. That’s good. And what is the actual behavior? What will you be doing? Well, I’ll be sitting. And have the student actually act out, behaviorally, what he or she will be doing? My hands will be like this. I’ll be paying attention to the teacher. Great.

Now what are the rules? Well the rules is that that it’s not okay to hit people.

Very good. And what’s the belief that you have to have, or how you have to feel inside.

That I respect people or I think everyone is a good person or everyone is a worthy person whatever the language is. See. Okay. That’s the new way we’re going to behave. Now picture what you would actually do. I want you to sit down with your eyes opened or closed, and imagine you doing that behavior for a few minutes in the classroom. And you have the child visualize that kind of behavior, the proper behavior— and particularly younger children can do this real well. They have highly developed visual skills in most cases. Okay, if they can't have trouble visualizing say, "Pretend it’s a movie, and you’re seeing yourself on a movie screen in front of you—or more television screen—and have them explain to you verbally out loud what they are actually doing. I’m listening to the teacher, my hands are folded, my feet are on the ground, I’m sitting still in the seat.

And you have them do that for a minimum of three times until they feel comfortable and then you say to them, "Okay. Now, what would you be hearing?" And then, "How would you feel inside?" And it should be a positive feeling. When you go through all three modalities—the visual, the auditory. and the kinesthetic—and they feel comfortable, what you say at that point is, "Okay, we’re going to try this out. You are

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 16 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators going to class tomorrow; and you’re going to sit for five minutes; and you’re going to imagine yourself sitting that way' and that’s what you’re going to do." And you do a little bit at a time. Start with five minutes and say, "I’m going to come past the room,"— if you’re the assistant principal—"and if you’re doing well, you’re going to turn around and you’re going to give me the good sign. If you’re not, you’re going to give me that sign and we're going to have to start all over again."

So you try 5 minutes. If the behavior is okay, you try for 10 minutes, then 15; and you work your way up. The idea is that a belief has to occur that way within the structure of the mind and the body, and visualization is a good way of changing a belief and behavior at the same time.

Now you’re saying to me, "Well, how long does that take?" Well, we recommend this with highly disruptive kids. And in most cases, you are going to be successful with this. It takes about 45 minutes to go through this process. Sometimes it will take about

90 minutes. But it’s worth it, and you do one child at a time. You don’t try to solve all of your problems. One child at a time. Find out the personality style, find out the motivational style, the decision making through the profile, find out what their hot buttons are, and then you work through particular communication patterns, and you work with this belief change.

So all these things come together with this one exercise; and it’s a very powerful exercise in changing behavior. Now, you may be saying “Oh, can you really change a person’s belief like that?” Absolutely. How many of you at one time believed in the tooth fairy or Santa Claus? And I hope most of you realize now that, well, it may make a

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 17 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators difference for somebody—but I apologize if I revealed something that I wasn’t supposed to. But most of you wouldn’t believe in Santa Claus today or the tooth fairy. But at one time that was your reality.

Okay. Well, can you change that that quickly? Let me give you a little story.

You have to picture this. I was brought up in the city of Newark in the cold‐water flats, the apartment buildings. And there were relatives in every one of the apartments—like grandfathers, aunts, uncles, eight cousins—in the house all running around this little miniature apartment house. And it was Christmas Eve, and I was very young. And I remember my grandmother yelling up that, "Everybody downstairs. Santa Claus was coming, Santa Claus is coming." So I’m saying, "Whoa! Santa Claus is coming to

Newark." That’s great. I figured he’d get mugged on the way. But anyway, we all run downstairs. And we can’t wait to get into the kitchen. And they lined us up in the kitchen—and I was the youngest—and I remember looking at the door saying, "Ooooh

Santa Claus, Santa Claus!" And I said to my mother, “Ma, how is Santa Claus going to come into our house? We don’t have a chimney.” We had smokestacks. She said, “Oh, he’s very magical, he’s big and round, and he shrinks. He comes down the smokestack, and he appears in the kitchen door." And I said, "Well, okay." I’m buying that because I want Santa Claus. Now, just then out of the pantry—we had pantries back in those days where they kept the food—the door opens up, my grandfather walks out. He’s this big.

He has a Santa Claus suit on, no pillow, and he says, “Hey, I’m Santa Claus.” And I went “What? That’s not Santa Claus, that’s grandpa." He goes “Shut up, I’m a Santa. .

.” And he starts running after them and my cousins going “Hit ‘em, hit ‘em." And I’m running for my dear life. And my grandmother’s screaming, “Don’t you hit him.” Now,

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I ask you a question. Did I believe in Santa Claus after that? That’s how quickly it can occur. So that’s how quickly your belief can change and then the behavior follows.

A third way to change is to be positive. Now, I don’t know how you’re going to do that. Tell yourself a joke in the morning when you get up every single morning.

However, happy people do make a difference in the classroom as I alluded to in the beginning of the program.

Clip 5: Overcoming Negativity

CHUCK SCANELLA: Have you ever been around someone who has been extremely negative? Do you enjoy being around these people? Do you wake up in the morning saying to yourself,

"Well, I know Joe is a very miserable person and very negative, I think I’ll hang around with that person for six hours and be miserable all day long." You wouldn’t want to do that. And miserable, negative people are contagious. So, my advice is to stay away from them.

And if you find yourself getting into a negative state and feeling kind of down, try to pop yourself out. Literally tell yourself a joke. Be happy. You have to be happy around children. That’s how you start off setting up a caring and nurturing environment.

Children don’t like adults that are negative. They don’t like negative children.

My grandfather, who was born in Italy, came to this country and wanted to return to see his family years after he was in this country. And he had a barber that used to cut his hair and was a very negative person. The kind of person—he was the kind of person who you would say, "Isn’t it a beautiful day today?" And he would say, "What’s the

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 19 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators matter, you didn’t you see that one cloud in the sky?" That kind of miserable person.

One day my grandfather was sitting down getting a haircut, and he asked my grandfather, he said, "So, Tony where you going on your vacation?" He says, "I’m a going to Rome."

He says, "Rome?" He said, "What airline you gonna take?" He says, "I’m a gonna fly

Air Italia." He goes, "Oh, my goodness, because that’s a terrible airline because they lose your luggage, the food is terrible." He said, " So, what hotel are you going to stay at?"

My grandfather responded, "Well, I’m a going to stay at the Hilton." He goes, "The

Hilton? That’s the worst hotel in Italy because the food is bad, the service is terrible. You're going to have a miserable time." He says, "So, what are you going to do when you get to Rome?" He says, "I’m a go see the Pope." He said, "The Pope? The Pope doesn’t want to see you. The Pope wants to see kings and queens, not you."

So anyway, my grandfather ignored that, took off for Europe, came back a about a month and a half later to get another haircut. The barber saw him and says, "Hey, Tony, how was your vacation?" My grandfather says, "Hey, I had a good time, I had a wonderful time." He says, "Did you fly Air Italia?" He says, "Hey, I float a like a butterfly, nice a people, good a food." He said, "Did you say at the Hilton?" He goes,

"Hey, they treat me like a king, big a fluffy bed, chocolate on the top, nice people." He goes, "Did you see the Pope." He goes, "I see the Pope." He goes, "You did? What happened?" He says, "I seen the Pope, I walk over to the Pope to kiss his hand and kneeled down. And he looked down and he looked at the back of my neck, and he went,

'Hey, who give you that crummy haircut?'" So the idea is how you tell the joke. Stay away from these people.

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And the last thing that I want to talk about is being flexible. We have one sort of overriding theory in the CLICK program. It says—on the idea of being flexible‐ ‐ it says this: If something doesn’t work, do something else. It doesn’t even matter if it makes sense. Do something else. We have a tendency in education that if something doesn’t work we do it louder, we do it harder, or we do it more often.

I had an assistant principal come up to me one time and he said, "Hey, this in‐school suspension really works. I got two kids booked into next year." That is not working. I’ve been in classrooms where they, as a means of punishment, they put the name on the board of the child who has misbehaved. And they put checks next to the name. And I’ve seen these checks go around the room. That’s not how you deal with the problem. If something doesn’t work, do something else. That is something that you must keep in mind when you’re dealing with kids in terms of discipline.

So what is the model that we’re using? What is the behavior model? Well, we do know that there are a number of programs that are out there that aren’t working. And we know this because teachers come up to us frequently saying that "I’m using this program; it doesn’t work. "What can I use?" Well, the model that we’re using really is not a behavior modification model. However, there are some things built around behavior modification.

But the behavior model that we’re using has lots of ingredients to it. And the first one is—as I said before—the key is how to get rapport with someone. When you’re out of rapport with someone, you’re usually having some kind of a conflict. Would it be useful for you to know how to get rapport instantly within one or two minutes if you’re out of rapport with a student; or if you have rapport and you lose it, how to get it back.

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Or how to establish a classroom. Or working with a student one‐on‐one.

Clip 6: How Body Language Impacts Rapport

TONY SCANNELLA: What Denise and I would like to do for you right now is to show you the impact that body language has on rapport. Now, we’re going to do a typical role play, a typical scene that would occur between a student and teacher. Or it could be a parent and a teacher; an administrator and a teacher. It really doesn’t matter who the players are. The first thing I’d like you to do is to get out of your mind all of the old concepts about body language that you might have read about in the '60s and '70s. For example, one of the things I would say is that if you were sitting like this or standing like this, this meant that you were closed or defensive. It doesn’t mean that at all. What this means is that you’re sitting with your arms crossed. That’s what this means. And if you start putting things in your mind about a person being closed and it sort of—you’re getting off to a bad start right at the beginning in terms of a relationship.

So, what I’d like to do is to demonstrate how powerful your body is; the body language in terms of relationship. Now remember, this is the basic level. We’re at the very basic level of the whole concept of discipline, and that is establishing trust and rapport with another person. So, Denise is a student; I am a teacher, or I’m an administrator. And what you want to do is as you approach the student—or if you’re sitting next to someone—you want to look at them and notice how they’re sitting and match how they are sitting as closely as possible.

So, if I walk into a room and I have a little conversation with Denise who’s just misbehaved in her classroom, I would say, "How you doing, Denise? It’s good to see www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 22 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

you." I quickly glance at the way she’s sitting, and I notice that her feet are sort of together. She’s leaning a little forward, and her hands are sort of resting on her lap. And I would start to talk. And I'd start to talk, "So, I heard you had a little problem with so and so." And that’s all you would do. As opposed to—now watch the difference. If you are mismatching, and when you mismatch you cause a little tension in a relationship. So

I come in and I say, "Hi Denise. I heard you had a little problem in the classroom?"

Now, right away you notice that Denise sort of pulled back a little and she said, "No. I really don’t want to talk to you now." So what happens is I’m in her space. And this is quite obvious even looking at this. There is something wrong with this picture.

Or, for example, if you came in and you were sort of noncommittal; if you were sort of blasé about this whole relationship. "Hi, Denise. I heard you wanted to talk to me?" And you notice this position. So my back is almost toward her. And it really doesn’t show that I’m interested in what she has to say or I’m interested in this whole conversation at all. So what you do, again, is you match the person's body posture as closely as possible. And you start to talk, blah, blah, blah; and you start to talk.

Now, what happens if she moves? So she’ll shift her position. I don’t want you to do this right away because now you’re mimicking. Okay. So you were sitting like this because she was. Now she moves. What you do is you wait about 20 to 25 seconds.

And in the course of conversation, if you can, you say, "Oh, that’s an interesting idea."

And you match the body posture again. So what you’re doing is you’re matching at this point. You’re matching and you're pacing. That’s the technical—those are the technical terms. Now, what if she moves again, let's say, go back to the same position. Okay. So what you do is you go back to the same position after about 20 seconds and you take on www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 23 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

that position again. All right.

Now, how do you test for rapport? Now, there is a test. The way you test for rapport is after you’ve matched body posture for about a minute or so what you have to do to test to see whether or not she’s in rapport with you is you make a very dramatic move. So you’ll do something like this. "Oh, you know something? I wanted to talk to you about this before." Now, you notice I've crossed my legs. Now, what happens very often is that they come into the very same position that you are or something very similar.

When that happens you have rapport. Or, for example, if she doesn’t come in exactly at this position, she could have been sitting like this and perhaps she just shifts a little bit or she moves her arm. You’ve got her; you still have her. So you make a dramatic move, and you watch that person within 20 to 25 seconds, okay? That person should shift. If she does, you’ve got rapport.

What happens if he or she doesn’t shift? Then you go back to matching again as best as you can. All right? Within one or two minutes you make a shift again. You might lean back, or you might lean forward. If that person moves forward with you, you’ve got rapport. Now this works strictly at an unconscious level. This is well researched, and it is absolutely 100 percent. And all of the things that we are showing you in the CLICK program have been tested, or you can test them immediately as we are doing right now.

Now, are there some problems? Yes. There are always some problems. Ladies, a lot of men sit like this for example. So why don’t you just lean back. And if you come into the room and, you walk and say, "Hi, Denise. "I heard you wanted to talk to me." www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 24 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

And you take on the same position, you’re gonna have a little problem. Because now you’re mimicking. Now what do you do? So stay like that. What do you do? Because I said to match as closely as you can. There’s something called cross matching or cross mirroring. Okay. You walk in, and you see the arms up. And she's sort of sitting back.

So, notice my elbows? I rest them here. Her legs are together. I’m really in the same position, only I’m cross matching. That’s the technical term.

So, for example, if the legs are open, you don’t want to open your legs, you keep your arms open, cross your legs. That’s cross mirroring. If a person is tapping—a lot of teenagers will do this kind of thing—you don’t want to come in and start going, "Hi. I wanted to talk to you." What could you do? Well, you could do with a head nod. You just sort of nod your head at the same pace that they're nodding. And that’s called cross mirroring. And I think this is a very powerful technique. The way I learned it, I learned it as working as a therapist. And when people come in for therapy or counseling, they need to be relaxed; and you need to get rapport with them right away. And we were taught this skill to help with the rapport and the relationship with patients that were coming in. So it’s a very useful skill.

Now you could do this sitting down. We happen to be sitting down. You could do it standing up. You could do it from across the room. Or, for example, you could do it with your entire class. But, most likely if you’re going to deal with a student who’s extremely disruptive or you’re having a problem with, what you want to do is to get in a one‐on‐one position. This also gets you to listen and to look at the person. Very often, you’ll see teachers disciplining students, pacing, or walking like this, or doing something

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 25 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators like this. This is mismatching, and this is not the way you get rapport with someone. You sit down and you listen to them, and you talk to them, and in this fashion. So that’s the whole thing about rapport and trust.

Now, the next thing that we’d like to talk to you about is this whole idea of communication.

Clip 7: Good Disciplinarians Speak In Positives

TONY SCNALLEA: The second part of our behavioral model that we did that we modeled after teachers was a communication model. We noticed how they talked and what they said to kids. One of the things—just to recap in the behavioral model—is that they all got rapport with the kids that they worked with. They were sort of matching them with the same body posture. The second thing we noticed was the communication patterns that they used. I mentioned before about the difference between what are you doing and what should you be doing. And that was very noticeable.

Another thing that teachers who are good disciplinarians did when we observed was that they spoke in positives. So they framed their rules in positives; they spoke in positives. They avoided saying things like, "Don’t yell; don’t run." I think we all understand what happens to the brain when we say don’t do something. If you tell a child not to do something or don’t touch this, his immediate response is to touch it. If you have kids running through a hallway and you say, "Don’t run." What they have to envision in their brain, in their mind, is running. So if, for example, you wanted to stop smoking and

I said, "Don’t smoke." You immediately see yourself smoking. However, if I reframed it and stated it in the positive and say something like, "Think of pink, healthy lungs." Well, www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 26 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

that’s a different image. So all of your vocabulary—most of it—should be stated in the positive in terms of setting rules. And that’s an important concept that we learned from teachers.

In writing rules, most of the rules that we found were stated in the negative,

"Don’t curse; don’t yell." And when you do that you are actually imbedding in the human brain what you don’t want kids to do.

The second thing is that we found that listening was very important. All good disciplinarians listen to their students. When they’re in trouble or when they’re trying to communicate a problem or a conflict, they listened intently. That was the whole purpose of the rapport exercise to actually get you to sit down and match the body posture and look at the person in the eyes as much as you can and communicate. The number one psychological need for kids today is the need to be listened to. It’s also the number one psychological need, by the way, for adults. It’s very important. In our recent school shootings and some of the disruptions that we’ve had in schools, if you talk to kids, what they’ll always say—kids who are in trouble, particularly the disruptive youth—they will say, "No one every listens to me." And we have to understand what that means. So, we’re sort of telling you how to listen to kids. Get rapport with them first, establish some kind of a relationship, and then communicate in a positive way to them in everything that you do.

Let me give you a little story about communication and how we communicate with each other. A man pulls in a gas station, and the gas station attendant comes out and looks in the back seat and notices there are three penguins sitting in the back seat. And www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 27 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

the man looks and he says, "Do you know you have three penguins in the back seat?" The guy says, "You know, I got in the car today, jumped in, turned around, and there they were." He said, "Do you know something? You better take them to the zoo." And the guy says, "Wow, that’s a great idea. And he takes off."

The next day the same guy comes, pulls in the gas station, and the penguins are still in car. Only this time they have sunglasses on. So the gas station attendant comes out he goes, "Hey, what are you doing? I told you to take them to the zoo." And he responds by saying, "You know I did. And we had such a good time. Today we’re going to the beach. "

And that’s how we listen to each other. We really don’t communicate. We use words that are very big sometimes, so to speak; words the kids don’t understand. Or we think they understand what we are saying. So you have to be clear, particularly when it comes to telling kids how to change and what to do and how to follow the rules.

The other thing is body congruency. This is real important. We found, for example, that teachers who are very congruent with their body language were more successful at discipline. Now, body congruency means this: If I’m saying no, my head goes in this direction back and forth, east and west. If I’m saying yes, it means this.

Unless you’re from Brooklyn. People from Brooklyn go, "Oh, the show was great." And they shake their head east and west. And I don’t know why they do that, but there’s no research to prove why that happens. But most people, if they’re going to say yes, they go up and down. When they say no, they go this way. So, if you say to a student, "You know, that was a great report you had the other day," and you’re shaking your head east www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 28 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

and west, then that means that that’s incongruent. It’s an incongruent message, and it’s registered on an unconscious level. And the student says, "You know, something’s wrong here. I don’t think that’s sincere."

You know, there was a very interesting experiment they did in New York City.

They had 30 convicted muggers in a room, and they showed on a screen people walking in the streets of New York City. And they said to the convicted muggers, "Which ones would you mug?" And they all picked the same people. And when they debriefed, they said, "Why did you all pick the same people? What was it that led you to believe that those people could easily be mugged?" They said it was the way they walked. And the ones that sort of walked with a strut, sort of like well, "We wouldn’t touch that person then. It looks like he owns the city." They wouldn’t mug that kind of a person because they didn’t look like they could be mugged.

However, the ones that they said they would mug had a little lift in their walk, sort of like this. They go, "Yeah, we’d get that guy right over there." Now, I’m exaggerating it. But if I come into a classroom, and I'm incongruent, and I go, "Good morning class,

I’m your new teacher," you’re going to get a very funny response. So if you’re serious about something, you should act like you’re serious. You don’t scream across the room.

You don’t smile when you’re trying to give discipline. That’s incongruent. And those are the things that we noticed physically with disciplinarians that were really good in the classroom.

And the last part of our behavior model is the personality profile. And what I’d like to do is to bring up Denise to discuss tha t part of the program. The idea that to be www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 29 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

fair in discipline is to really know the kind of child that you’re dealing with. Every child is different; every child is unique; and every child has a unique personality. In order to discipline students you need to know the kind of child you’re dealing with. We don’t think that you can discipline kids properly unless you know the kind of child that is responding to the kind of discipline that you’re giving. So I’d like to bring up my colleague, Denise, to explain the personality profile, which is probably the most powerful piece of the whole program.

Clip 8: Mastering Discipline Through Personality Profiling

DENISE HECHT: Hi. It feels great to be here. I’d like to tell you about the CLICK profile. It’s been used in many parts of the country already. And we have actually profiled over

25,000 educators in the United States. It’s been very successful, and I am really happy and proud to share it with you.

Just let me ask you a few questions because the profile is really about understanding yourself first as an educator. Because in order to really be successful as an educator and get to where you need to go, you have to understand who you are. Now let me ask you this. How many of you out there knew exactly what you were going to wear when you woke up this morning or last night? And think about it. And think about how many of you just woke up and got dressed right away. And you didn’t really have to think about it. How many of you woke up and said, "Oh no, I don’t know what I’m going to wear."

And how many of you also think right now, "I don't even know what I’m wearing right now. " How many of you balance your checkbook every single month to the penny no www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 30 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

matter what happens? How many of you balance it, but if it’s off my 50 cents you go, "Oh well, that’s okay." And how many of you never balance your checkbook? And how many of you keep opening up new accounts every month? So, you know, proposing this question to a group of people you would know that we'd have many different answers.

As you can see from the first illustration of Life Magazine, the DNA represents your personality style. You are basically who you are when you’re born. Your core personality is there. You can change it up to 40 percent by your environment, but 60 percent of the DNA predicts who you are when you’re born. And truthfully, that’s why there’s no right or wrong to the profile.

What I'd like to do right now is to turn to the illustration that shows your position.

As you notice, there are three positions, when it comes to communication, that you can be in at any given time.

If you could imagine that there are three cylinders right here. As I step into first position, this is all about me; this is my profile; who I am and what my goals are. When I step into the second cylinder, that second position, and this is who the student is. And we very often need to be here. To be a good, excellent educator, what you need to do is know yourself first. Once you know your own profile, you can come into second position and identify the students. The best place to be as an educator is third position.

But in third position, we turn around a little bit sideways; and we disassociate from second position; and we look at our first position as well and connect the two. So we know our profile as well as the students'. You don’t want to stay in second because then we become an enabler or caretaker. We don’t want to stay in first because there’s no www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 31 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

movement made at all unless you understand the students' profile.

So right now what I’m going to ask you to do is to turn to your profile, the

CLICK profile that looks like this, and turn to the page where the questionnaire is. We’ll do the first question together. And what I’d like you to do is be as honest as you can be.

You’ll know if you’re honest because you’ll get a very flat score if you’re not. We built that in so that we know what’s going on as far as your survey or your profile.

Try to think of your focus as you are in your position at school. And what we want you to do is to answer one question at a time, only one line at a time, reading from left to right. Let’s do the first question together and the rest you can do on your own.

Which quality describes you best at school? Are you goal oriented, enthusiastic, steadfast, or analytical? Which quality describes you best? Put a four next to that.

Which quality describes you least? Put a one next to that. Which quality describes you second best? Make sure that you put a three next to that. And you’ll have a two in the last empty space. Try to do it in this order because it’s the easiest way to do it. What describes you best is a four. What describes you least is a one. You’ll have a four, three, two, and one on every single line. Okay. Now, you can move on to the second line, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth. When you finish all the questions, please be sure to tally your score and circle the highest score.

Clip 9: Exploring Different Personality Types

DENISE HECHT: And for those of you who are directors, that means your highest score was in group one. That makes you really into challenge and change. You’re wonderful at www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 32 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

solving problems. You can look at the illustration that it actually shows director. These are the people who really get to the bottom line quickly. And it takes them a long time to trust people. They will trust you, but not until they actually test you over and over again.

I think you know who I mean. These are the people that you don’t want to get in front of at a traffic light because as soon as you are there and the light turns green, they have their hand on the horn. Those are the people who are always changing lanes on the highways.

You know who I’m talking about. But you know what? There isn’t anybody better at crisis management than those that are directors. They just have quick decisions. They love change. And if they’re not changing, they’re not happy. I think you, again, know who I’m talking about. Director children always want to know when. When is very important to them.

As far as the influencer, well, look at the illustration of the influencer. You can tell. That’s me. We’re very enthusiastic, caring; we love people. We’re all about people, and image is very important to us. Actually we think about—we're programmed by people. It’s important to us as far as what people think about us, and we’re not very organized. If your score is less than 15 in column three, then you’re not as organized as you’d like people to think you are. For me, if you come to my office on any given day, let me tell you, it’s always a mess. Years before I knew the profile I tried to cover up and say, "My office is not usually like this." But now that I know the profile, I've come to terms with who I am. And I can tell you this—and if anybody comes into my office now, I will say to them, "My office is not usually like this, it’s usually worse." So, you can see we love to shop. And when I’m in a shopping mall, when I come out if I can find my keys, I can’t find my car. It’s either the keys or the car. And you know if you’re an www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 33 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

influencer that that's true.

As far as a stabilizers—you can look at the stabilizer illustration right now. Those are the team players of the world. They are very affiliated, very friendly, and very caring.

They do not like change. You’ll find that a lot of teachers are stabilizers or a combination of stabilizers and influencers. Although influencers do like change, stabilizers are uncomfortable with change. They will change if they have to or if they have a good reason to. Of course, you have to think of the stabilizer children who are constantly worried. They like to be reassured, and security is very important to them.

They’re family oriented; and they will attach to a peer group at any given time, based on what their family ties are all about.

As far as the perfectionist, you can look at that picture. And some of you will recognize who you are. Or, perhaps, some other people who are perfectionists. You never want to argue with a perfectionist because they’re always right. You don’t want to criticize them either because they criticize themselves. They’re very critical and what we call the objective thinkers of the world. They’re cautious; they’re diplomatic. And they analyze, analyze, and analyze. They love information and research. They’re into quality and thinking about standards and rules.

Those are basically the four profiles. And, of course, later on, you can look at the illustration and research a little bit more of your surveys to see exactly what each profile is all about.

Let’s look at the illustration that shows us the plans. If you have a basic five‐step

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 34 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators plan, you’re all going to practice differently. I don’t know how you do this directors. It’s amazing to me. But if directors have a five‐step plan, what they will do is look at step one, look at step two, and do the two of them—step one and step two. They’ll skip step three and four and they will get to number five. I don’t know how you do it, but you just have a way of processing by skipping steps.

If an influencer had a five‐step plan, what they would do is look at step one and do step one. Do step one and step two, and then they’d start something else. You see influencers can do two or three things at a time. They’re very good about doing that.

The only problem is, when they get back to step three they forget where they are; so they start all over again. And what happens is they go to step four and they go, "Wait a minute, why am I rushing to do this? This isn’t due until next week." You see, influencers work very well under pressure. So what they'll do is they'll go back to step two, three, four, stop and wait till the very last minute. They could actually be up till

2:00 in the morning that evening finishing the project. They’ll finish it well, come back into school; nobody even knows that they didn’t get very much sleep. They come in smiling, they come into school smiling.

As far as the stabilizers, they love a plan. If they don’t have a plan, they’re not happy. They do step one, two, three, four, and five. And then they move on. In fact if you’re a stabilizer, right now, I bet you have a list right by your desk or right near you because they love lists and they love achievement and checking things off. They’re extremely structured.

And if you’re a perfectionist, this is what you do, which is amazing. I wish I

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 35 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators could do this. I really wish I was a perfectionist, but it would never happen in this lifetime. Perfectionists actually look at the entire plan first. They look at step one, two, three, four, and five; and then integrate all of the steps. Once they’ve looked over the plan and integrated the steps, then they start the plan. But you can be sure that when they finish it’s exactly right.

Let’s just think of a typical scenario if we’re all going out to purchase a toaster.

Certainly, this perfectionist would probably read some research report to find out which is the best toaster to buy. As I said, they’re into quality and excellence, so they want to make sure they get the right one. Once they’ve read the research report, what they’re going to do is go to the store and purchase the model that the research report quoted or stated. So, if the research report said buy model 23B, that is what they’re buying. They will go into the store, buy 23B; and if the store happens to be out of that model, they’ll just go to another store to get the right one. They will take the toaster home and open the box very carefully. They will read all the instructions. And if they were never, ever going to toast an English muffin in their whole life, they would be learning how to toast an English muffin. They’d read the directions, they’d fill out the warranty—probably photocopy it—and finally file it under T for toast. If anything ever happened to that toaster you could be sure that they would know where the warranty is and how to get their money back.

Stabilizers? Well, as I said, they don’t like change. So they’re going to buy the same toaster they've already had. And if they had one wind of a specific toaster that’s lasted for twelve years, that’s what they’re going out to buy. If they decide that they need more information, they’ll ask people. Because stabilizers get their information, gather www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 36 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

their information through people. They will ask somebody, "What did you buy, what did you buy, or what did you buy?" And that way they will get the information they need.

They’ll go to the store, and they’ll take the directions out to be sure that there’s nothing happening that would be a problem. But they will only read what they need to know for that moment. You see, stabilizers like to save time; and they like to save money. So they’re not going to waste time actually reading about an English muffin if they won’t be toasting an English muffin. They’ll read what they need to know right now.

Clip 10: Matching Personality Profile With Learning Style

DENISE HECHT: Influencers? Well, I know what I would do. I would go to the store and look at all of the toasters and say oh that one matches the kitchen. "That’s the one I’m buying because that looks good." By the way, we have really integrated all of the profiling with the modalities that Doctor Scannella was talking about before, and we have found that there are tendencies to connect the modalities with each specific profile. So, if you are an influencer like me, you will tend to be very visual. If you are a stabilizer, you’ll be more kinesthetic. Directors tend to be more auditory, and perfectionists use all of their modalities together. Now, that makes a lot of sense because perfectionist students need a lot more wait time; and that’s because they integrate the modalities constantly. They also integrate the tenses. See, perfectionists are into the past, the present, and the future at all times. So, if you think about how they process almost as if they were on a computer constantly, using all their modalities and all the tenses.

As far as the stabilizer, they’re into what did happen and what could happen. And they don’t take too much time to enjoy the present right now. Stabilizers do worry a lot. www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 37 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

In fact, they’re the type of people who, when they go on vacation, what happens is they actually take two suitcases, one for what they need and one for what they may need. But you could be sure if a stabilizer is on vacation, they’ve got the raincoats, the suntan lotion, and everything that they need.

As far as the influencers, they’re into the present. They’re into what’s good right now and what I need to know right now. As far as the directors, sure, they’re always in the future because, as I said, they’re asking when. Directors will ask when; influencers will ask who; stabilizers will ask what if; and perfectionists tend to ask why and how.

You can see or hear or feel all those differences as I speak about them. That’s how we view different personality styles.

And you may say, "Well, how will I ever learn this? There’s so much to know and so much information." Well—all I do—all I can say to you is start going to the shopping centers, go to the food stores, and start watching people. The person on the line which is twelve items or less and has a shopping cart full, 25 items at least, that’s usually the director. The person standing behind him or her is usually the perfectionist. And they’re standing like this; and they won’t be saying anything because, as I told you, they’re very diplomatic. So, they’ll be standing behind the director; and they’ll be counting silently as everything rolls by the conveyor belt. And you know what else they’ll be doing? They’ll be looking because they’re curious. They’ll be looking to see what you’re buying. And they will find it very incongruent if they see, perhaps, potato chips and low fat yogurt going down the same conveyor belt.

If you want to find a stabilizer, look for the person with the list and the coupons www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 38 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

checking everything off. They have such an order to what they do, sometimes they actually put the list in order of each aisle. They also have a very neat and organized shopping cart. As I said, they don’t want to waste time. So when they package everything, they make sure that all the vegetables are in one place, the detergent is in another place so everything is ready to go when they come home.

Influencers. Just look for me because I’m the one on the line who goes, "Oh, I forgot the milk." But I’m the one who came in for the milk. That’s what I came into the store for. But it’s OK because being an influencer I have made friends with everybody behind me. So I just get someone to kindly save my place. And that’s who it is.

If you want to know if this works, it’s one of the most powerful tools there is. My daughter—in fact, I have four children; and all of my children know this profile well. We can go into a restaurant and know what kind of service we’re getting specifically based on the profile of the waitress or waiter. My daughter is an attorney, and she recently went for eleven interviews. And what happened with her is she used this profiling technique to actually interview the interviewer. And, if the attorney was a director, she was a lot more—she used her bottom line approach, cut to the chase. If the attorney was an influencer, she acted a little more enthusiastic; stabilizer, she told him or her all of her—talked about her organizational skills; and perfectionist, she gave them every detail since birth. Do you know that she got nine of the eleven positions? Isn’t that amazing?

The only problem is she is a stabilizer and didn’t know which position to take.

In any event, I can tell you that this works. When you know who you are, it just changes

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 39 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators the whole picture of all of the people around us. As far as educators, very often we go back to that first position; and we want our students to be exactly the way we are and behave exactly the way we are. That is not going to work when you think that we are programmed pretty much at birth.

We all have tendencies to have any one of these personality attributes at any given time. It’s a combination of profiling that we’re talking about, but you always have one core personality that you seem to go back to, especially under stress. So you can have any of these personality traits at any given time, but know that we’re talking about your basic core personality. Also, if you turn in to your illustrations on your books, if you turn to your exercises, you will see that there’s an exercise that actually shows you four different students. Read over each one and decide which personality describes that particular student best. This is just a little review for you to see how this works. So take some time to do that, and you’ll find the answers on the following page. Okay.

So how’d you do? I hope you did well. And we’ll have a little more of this so that you can feel even more comfortable with the personality styling.

If you look at the illustration that talks about CLICK and matching, you'll understand basically how these profiles go together.

Clip 11: Suggestions for Disciplining Specific Personality Types

DENISE HECHT: Now think about it, if you are a director teacher and you had a director student, there’s going to be an automatic clash. The director is one of the easiest personalities to identify because when he or she walks into your classroom in the beginning of September you will know. There’ll be no second guessing. And, by the way, we don’t recommend www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 40 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

that you give this profile to your students, although we’ve given it to our graduate students and our undergraduate students as well as seniors and juniors. We just particularly think it’s better that you take the profile, take a copy of it, and profile the student by, perhaps, working with another teacher. But make sure that you answer the profile the way you think your student would. And we don't say that you should do this for every student, but for those who are giving the worst discipline problems.

So, you have a director and a director, there’s always going to be a clash. To avoid that clash, remember, what a director needs is to be in control. When he or she feels that there are in control, guess who’s really in control? You are. Director students as an intervention absolutely need to form their own goals, to buy into the rules, things to help formulate the rules and really work with you as far as what is their goal to make their own changes. But they need to have some input into the goal.

Directors and influencers—that’s a wonderful combination. Influencers look up to directors, and directors look towards influencers as far as their communication skills.

So, when you have an influencer student and a director teacher, that works very well together.

Director teacher and stabilizer—that can be a problem because a director teacher sometimes has a tendency to intimidate the stabilizer. A stabilizer shuts down under pressure. You may not even realize that they are having internal problems because they will never tell you. They will just shut down. So, if you’re a director teacher, you might want to think about bringing out the best in the stabilizer by actually showing them appreciation. The intervention for stabilizer children is showing them constant www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 41 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

appreciation for what they do well.

As far as the director and the perfectionist, watch out. That’s the worse possible combination imaginable. The director teacher wants to get on with it, work within the framework; and the perfectionist is going to be the one who is will slow the director down. They need that wait time, and they will be asking all the questions. Directors tend to have a lesser amount of patience especially with the perfectionist. Give the perfectionist the time to ask their questions and then get on with it. That’s where the balance can be reestablished between director and perfectionist.

Influencer teacher and influencer student is one of the best possible combinations.

They love each other. The only problem is, if you have influencer instructor or teacher what happens is the whole classroom—if the classroom is filled with many influencers— you can get off task very quickly. So that’s the problem that happens there. But if you’re an influencer, and you think back to your most favorite teacher, it probably would be an influencer because they connect very well.

Influencer and stabilizer—very good combination as far as teacher and student.

Stabilizers are very helpful, very supportive. They can get along with anybody in the classroom. They are the best little students or older students to welcome the new student.

So influencers and stabilizers—wonderful combination as far as teacher student relationships.

Influencer perfectionist—that can be a problem. Perfectionists want to know all of the details, all of the research that’s involved with any given subject. Influencers are

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 42 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators extremely intuitive. They're very into getting to a reaction based on a personal response.

So sometimes they will go into certain details, but not enough for the perfectionist. So you have to be aware of when you’re teaching—when you're teaching, you need to be aware of what these student needs as far as a varied amount of research, a varied amount of information depending on your classroom.

As far as your stabilizers—well, they will go well with every single student in the class. They love teaching, and they love their students. Stabilizer and stabilizer— wonderful combination. As I said, if you have a stabilizer and an influencer, a student that works well, the only thing that aggravates a stabilizer teacher with an influencer student is influencers tend not to be organized. Stabilizers are very organized, and they want their students to be. And, as I said, they can get off task; not do their homework; lose their assignment pad; or whatever that may be. It aggravates the stabilizer. But stabilizer teachers, if you know who these influencers are, you can get them where they need to go, basically with one intervention. And that is recognition. They need to be recognized. That’s very important to any influencer.

As far as your stabilizers and stabilizers—that's great. Stabilizers and director, uh oh. The director can really—a student can really intimidate that teacher. The teacher doesn’t want confrontation because stabilizers love peace and harmony. So they will avoid that situation. I always say that you can try to move a mountain, you can go around the mountain or cut right through the mountain. Stabilizers tend to go around the mountain by avoiding the confrontation. You need to confront the director as stabilizer.

Call him or her personally by their name—that sometimes diffuses them; and also ask

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 43 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators them, as Dr. Scanella said, "What should you be doing?" That’s an imbedded command that just directs them to what they should be doing.

Perfectionists and stabilizers—great combination. They seem to have a natural way of working together. Going back to the perfectionist teacher, they will have the most problems with their director and perfectionist students. Director students are impatient; they want to move on; they do not like the lecture technique. Influencers also seem to be very talkative; that’s not the rule in the classroom. Perfectionists are into their rules.

Perfectionists, again, and stabilizer students do really go well. Perfectionists and perfectionists really love each other, but they can go off on a tangent when it comes to research.

So those are the combination of different personality styles.

Clip 12: Intervention Strategies Based On Personality Types

DENISE HECHT: Let me review the interventions with you. I touched on them briefly. But when you have a director student, again, they are goal oriented. You do not want to attack their character. You want to avoid attacking their character. Believe me, a director student knows when they’re out of control, knows when they’re doing something that they shouldn’t be. You don’t need to attack their character because you will absolutely alienate them when you do that. You need to set goals with them and let them feel like they’re in control.

As far as influencers, they need to be recognized. That’s very important to them.

And you certainly can do that in front of a classroom and recognize what they're doing www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 44 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

well. Stabilizers will shut down if they’re uncomfortable. They have a very quick way of shutting down and going into their internal feelings when they don’t feel right about something. When they feel appreciated, they will go anywhere you need to take them.

It’s all about appreciation.

Perfectionists—the basic intervention is, first of all, make sure that they have the wait time and they can have the time to create whatever they want. They can be extremely creative and they need the time to finish their projects. Also, just going back to stabilizers for one second, they don’t like to be interrupted. They do not like change.

And if you’re skipping over a unit, you can do that; but make sure you explain to the stabilizer student why you’re doing it. Once they have a reason, they’ll go right over the unit; but they need to know why. Perfectionists cannot be criticized. If you criticize them, you will lose them; you will alienate them. Be real careful about the feedback— not criticism—feedback that you give them.

Now, we will talk about some of the patterns because I’m sure many of you are saying, "Well, I have a score of 21 in column one; and I have a score of 20 in column two. Is that too close and does that mean anything?" Absolutely not. If you have a high score in column one and a second high score in column two, that gives you a very inspirational pattern. That means you’re a magnet. When you walk into a room people just gravitate to you. You have a natural way of motivating; you’re very good at motivating people.

If you have a high number two with a second high score of number one, that also lets you motivate people well. You get along with people very well, and you have a way www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 45 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

of getting things done based on what people need. And you work with people’s needs already. In fact, if you have a high two one, you’ve been profiling all your life; you just don’t know you’ve been doing it.

If you have a high two and three or high three and two, that means you are a natural counselor. You are a very good listener. Stabilizers are great listeners, and you are very intuitive. You'd make an excellent therapist as long as you don’t get stuck in that second position where you forget to get out and find out what you really need to do to make changes.

So, and again, you can’t change people. You can only change the way you react to people. That’s what the profile is about. That’s what interventions are about. If you change the way you react, the person will make the changes that are needed.

As far as a high three and four, that's what we call the physician's pattern, the practitioner's pattern. These people who have a high three and four or four and three are very diagnostic. They will find problems way before anybody else, and they will fix them. The good thing about three and fours or fours and threes, you can be sure that they will find the problem and also fix them. A lot of people find problems, but they don’t do anything about implementing change. These people have a natural way of making sure change is effective.

Okay. Let’s think of any others that we’ve missed. A high one and three. That’s a wonderful pattern as well as the others. One and three means you’re very achievement oriented. You’re all about goals and structure and getting things done. You work well with people. You make great leaders because you do work well with people. And peace www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 46 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

and harmony are still very important to you.

A high one and four, well that’s what we call the innovator pattern. It also can be stressful if you are a one and four in the sense that what happens is you want everything done yesterday, and you also want it to be done right. So you stress yourself out with getting things done quickly and also getting them done right. And you become very intense. Only five percent of the population has this pattern. It’s a very unique pattern in the sense that we find a lot of leaders having this pattern; a lot of principals, superintendents, also CEOs of the country. We see that. It’s a high one and four. It’s intense and when ones and fours become—get involved in communication skills that we're giving you; that Doctor Scannella's giving you—it changes your whole outlook.

Because as a one and four, very often you wait for people to catch up to you. Now you know why they’re catching up. So they’re never going to catch up to you unless they have your profile. So just leave them alone and they will get there.

Another pattern that we have is a high two and four. That’s what we call the appraiser or the evaluator. One of my best friends has that pattern, and she has high influential skills; but she also has a high amount of analytical skills. And together what happens is she appraises and evaluates the world. When we go shopping, we have a lot of fun at lunch; but then when we get into shopping, it’s serious shopping. So, she will tell me if the seam's not straight or the pattern doesn’t match.

So that’s what that is as far as all the different combinations of profiles. Now I can go on and on with that because I’m an influencer, but I think we ought to stay on task and get to the next area. www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 47 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

Clip 13: Instruction Based On Personality Type

DENISE HECHT: If you turn to the last page of your profile, you’ll see that there’s an easy way to recognize style. And many of you that want a quick way—especially the directors—this really works. So we won’t go over all of them, but we can review a few of them. You’ll notice that the rate of decision is very different. The directors, influencers, stabilizers, perfectionists, depending who they are. You’ll see very quick decisions from a director.

An influencer would be somewhat quick as well. Stabilizers are extremely indecisive.

And perfectionists are very methodical, that’s how they make their decisions. You’ll see under emotions, a lot of anger outbursts are from the directors. And you’ll see some signs of emotion from influencers. They get excited easily and then can have some emotional outbursts. As far as the stabilizers, they hide their feelings. And the perfectionists will not show you their feelings at all.

Just going back down to the hand gestures, there are plenty of hand gestures on the part of the directors and influencers. The stabilizers have some, but you’ll see a minimal amount from the perfectionists. And if you start watching people, you’ll know that what we’re saying is true because we've watched a lot of people to develop this kind of research. You’ll see a much faster speech in the directors; a fast pace for the influencers; the stabilizers are slower; and the perfectionists seem to speak slower. So that makes a lot of sense as far as trying to identify different styles.

If you turn to your books where it says "Instructional Methods," we turn to your instructional method illustration. You can look at all of them, and we'll give you time to

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 48 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators look at each individual model and decide which form of instruction would be well received based on the different personality style.

And we’ll do the first one together so you understand what we’re doing. Which personality would like behavior modeling; which is a technique in which behavior is demonstrated to learners? Then learners practice the behavior with guidelines and feedback. If you said stabilizer, you’re absolutely right. That would be stabilizer. They love to see demonstrations, sometimes participate in demonstrations as well; but most likely, they'd like to go through the moment. They're kinesthetic. They need to feel comfortable with whatever the lesson is before they feel prepared.

So take some time now and actually go through the rest of the models and put the letter that you feel would be most suitable to the different instructional model. When you get finished, we’ll tell you where you can find your answers.

Your answers will be on the next page. See how well you did. I’m sure by now you feel most comfortable learning and knowing about the different personality styles.

When you think about the personality styles, it’s just a different way of doing things.

You heard what Dr. Scanella said. This program is about looking at things that work. If something’s not working, you want to do something different.

When I was a young girl, I had very long hair. And back then, we didn’t have

CDs and we didn’t have tape recorders; we had record players. I bent over and got my hair caught on the spindle. My head starting to go around and around. I don’t know if

I’ve ever been the same since. But I can tell you this, that the neighbors came in when they heard my mom screaming saying, "Denise is in a record player; Denise is in a record www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 49 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

player." When they looked at me, they realized that my head was spinning around. So what did the neighbor do? She cut my hair away from the spindle. And I had a big bald spot on the back of my head. What I want to know until this day is why didn’t she just pull the plug? The profile is all about pulling the plug. If you understand what the child’s needs are, what the interventions are, that makes the biggest difference in the world.

Clip 14: Why Behavior Modification Does Not Work

TONY SCANELLA: So, as you can see, using the profile as a tool to identify personality is invaluable when it comes to discipline. And the whole idea is that most of the discipline programs that are out there are one shoe fits all mentality. And we don’t think that’s the way it works. For example, there are a number of programs that deal with behavior modification. Behavior modification works with less than one percent of the population.

It’s A very controlling kind of discipline program. If behavior modification were that successful, then our prisons wouldn’t be so filled. And I think that’s evidence enough that it deals more with punishment and obedience than really changing behavior.

There are other models out there. There’s an awareness program that says that all kids are unaware, and we know that’s not necessarily true. There are some kids that may be unaware, but not necessarily all kids. There are numerous programs that talk about logical consequences and so on. And what we’re trying to say is look at the kid first, look at the child first, understand what motivates that child, how that child makes decisions, what their hot buttons are, what depresses them, what gets them excited, what www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 50 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

gets them enthusiastic, and then make a decision on how to motivate that child. Because it’s really more about motivation and motivating children than it is discipline.

We are telling you to keep the hierarchy that you probably have. Most schools have a hierarchy. If a student misbehaves, then they stay after school. If it goes further the parent is called, then there’s a conference. There might be suspension; there might be expulsion. We’re not telling you to do away with that structure. What we’re saying is look at it another way. Be flexible. That’s not the only way and that has more to do with punishment than anything else.

This leads us to how do we know what kids need. You know what motivates them based on their personality. We know about their hot buttons and how they respond.

I also told you about the psychological need. The number one psychological need for kids today, and adults—this is my own editorial—and adults is that; the need to be listened to. What are the basic needs? What are the things that we then look at to make this program a little more viable in terms of teachers changing behavior?

Well, we found out that in addition to that one psychological need, that the three basic needs for kids—it's something that we call power, affiliation, and achievement. Power means the sense of empowerment and control in their life; affiliation meaning that they need to be connected to somebody or some activity or something in the school. And the third is achievement. High‐risk kids, disruptive kids, need to experience success every single day. That is not necessarily true with kids that aren’t high risk. But high risk kids, in particular, those that we have labeled disruptive, need to experience a sense of achievement. And that could simply be, "That answer for number three was great.

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Keep up the good work." You don’t need stars and you don’t need cookies and you don’t need all that other – the reward system. You just need to recognize.

Incidentally, when we talked about the SIGNS program, we’re going to mention these three things again. Power, affiliation, and achievement. And this one affiliation seems to be very powerful, particularly for males. As you notice, most of the violence in our society has to do with males; although there is an increase now with females committing more and more violent crimes. But mostly it’s boys that commit violent crimes. And the key seems to be that empowerment and that affiliation, that sense of connectedness. All kids that have been looked at in terms of violence and disruption say the same thing. They don’t feel like they were connected, they alienate themselves, and then they go off on a tangent and become disruptive and violent. So we really have to consider those things.

So, kids need to feel a sense of empowerment. One way to do that, as Denise mentioned before, is to involve them in creating the rules in your classroom. Kids from kindergarten to the twelfth grade—we have worked with teachers and students in all those levels—they are able to create rules that they can live by on a day‐to‐day basis, even the children. So I think it’s really important for kids to know that they have something to say, some sort of control on how behavior is supposed to be in a classroom.

And that’s real important.

The second thing. Being connected. There must be somebody or some activity— when a student starts to feel alienated or become disruptive, there’s gotta be somebody in that school or some activity for that child to connect to dispel that disruption. I remember

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 52 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators in a personal situation we had a senior who rebelled on graduation day and became very violent and disruptive on graduation day. And later on when he was asked why he behaved that way, he said that he was getting back at everybody because he never felt connected to the school. And this is happening more and more.

The sense of achievement, I think I've explained that. And I would make sure after you identify high risk kids that these are the ones that you have to make sure that they feel that they are succeeding in school.

Clip 15: How Student Self Identify Impacts Behavior

TONY SCANELLA: I have a chart here that will explain the different levels of learning and how they interact with each other. And as you can see on this chart, it starts with an environment level. Learning takes place at a particular location—in the school. That’s the environment. Or it could be at home. A child behaves in a particular way. They have certain capabilities, IQ, writing strategies, reading strategies. They have a belief that fosters or pushes that behavior. And they have certain values. For example, they value education or they don’t. And they have an identity. Everyone has a particular identity or personality.

Now, the way this works is this. I think there are two ways that kids sort of get out of hand. Now if you look at this chart—let’s use an example. Let’s say we have little

Tony here sitting in the classroom. And little Tony has a 190 IQ, so he is very capable.

He is a very capable student. He also has very good writing strategies, reading strategies, spelling strategies; and he behaves like an excellent student, takes his books home, listens

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 53 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators to his teacher. And he goes to so‐and‐so high school, the best high school or the best middle school in the entire country. So we’ve covered the environment, the behavior, and the capabilities. He also believes that he’s a good student. And he has good values.

Parents talk about education is a valuable asset. Get educated. Treat people well. So he has good sense of values and morals; and he thinks he’s an excellent student. So this chart shows you sort of the different levels that learning takes place within an individual.

Now, the teacher from hell comes walking into the classroom. And the teacher from hell says to the students, "Now, students, what we’re going to do is have a spelling test today. And, of course, Tony, little Tony, the smart kid who has a 190 IQ will spell for you because most of you kind of spell okay. But Tony’s a really good speller. So,

Tony, let me ask you, spell ukulele." Tony looks at the teacher and has a grin and starts laughing; and the teacher says, "Excuse me. This is not funny. Spell ukulele." He says,

"I can’t." And the teacher gets very excited and says, "What do you mean you can’t?

That’s not the way you behave here, not with your IQ," and starts to really pound that student. Very similar to what I did with Chuck before in insulting him and making fun of him. So he says, "Okay, I’ll give you another chance. Spell Echinacea." And of course, he’s stumped again.

Now, what happens is this. And this is interesting. If you look at the chart, this is working in a very unusual way. The next day Tony comes in, sits down, and he misspells three words on his spelling test. Where do you think he’s going to be affected on that chart? Most likely he’s going to say to himself, "Maybe I’m not a good speller." Now that absolutely is at the belief level.

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Now, here’s the interesting thing. When that occurs, it rips right through the system up and down and it stops at identity. After a while if that keeps occurring, Tony’s going to think he is not a good student. And when it goes through that system, his identity will change. He will become disruptive, he will lose interest in school, and so on.

On the other hand, you could do it a different way. And I know this from a personal point of view. You say, "Tony, come over here. Do you want to be part of this clique over here? Do you want to be part of this group? Well, that’s okay, but I’ll tell you what—take your hat, put in on backwards, wear baggy clothes. And you know what? We don’t pass our spelling tests. You know why? Because that’s not cool. So if you want to be cool and part of this crowd, then you will fail your test." If Tony wants to be a part of that group, if he really does, he will say, "I want to be a bad person." That’s at the belief level. Again, it rips right through the system and stops at identity.

So we have to look at this. This is really important. This is why we are saying you cannot change behavior at the behavioral level as effectively as if you change it at the belief level. Knowing a child’s personality, values—which are inherent in the personality profile—knowing the motivating factors, and knowing that behavior change at this belief level is crucial to understanding how to change a child’s behavior. And this is the position that we’re taking. And this is the position that we’re finding that teachers that adopt this kind of thinking and working with students, particularly disruptive students, are having a great deal of success. So, later on we will talk about, in a little while we will talk about how to change the beliefs of a person, changing a negative or limiting belief to something that’s positive and productive. www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 55 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

Clip 16: How Should Teachers Set Classroom Rules?

TONY SCANELLA: Which leads us now to rule setting. There are three reasons why teachers are out of control in the classroom if they are out of control. And there are three reasons that parents are out of control. Now, when we do this program for a live audience, what we like to do is involve parents—there is a parent component. The reason I’m bringing this up is that parents are the most powerful role models for students, and we have to remember that at all times as educators. But discipline is everybody’s business, and we have to understand that in a school it’s not the teacher in the classrooms business only, it’s the administrator and the teacher and the parent and the student and the community.

We can’t operate our schools in isolation any more. We must involve as many people as possible. However, if you’re in a school and you make a rule; and you’re at a faculty meeting and you come to agreement on a rule, and two or three teachers sort of say,

"Well, I’m not sure that I agree with this rule, throw the rule out." You either agree on rules or you don’t. There’s no in between. You can’t have that inconsistency in the system, in any system. So you either agree, come to agreement, take the time to agree and talk about this, or throw the rule out. It won’t ever work because it’ll corrode the system.

But getting back to rules. Rules—teachers are out of control when they’re out of control and parents and so on—if you’re in any kind of rule making environment for three reasons. One, they don’t write rules or they don’t set forth rules that are specific enough. They’re very generalized. And what happens, of course, particularly with teenagers, is they just fill in the gaps or they make up their own rules. www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 56 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

The second reason is that they’re not consistent with the rule. That means that one day the rule goes, the next day it doesn’t. Or, for example, in a parenting situation, the father says one thing, the mother says another. And the child is put in between. Or if you’re a single parent, one day you say yes, the next day you say no. You cannot do that to children. They must have some sense of consistency in rules and rule‐making.

And the last thing is that there is no follow up. If you’re going to make a rule— and many, many educators, particularly administrators, seem to forget this piece. If you’re going to make a rule and there are consequences and there are things that have to occur within that rule structure, you must follow‐up. For parents, if you want to know if your kids are taking drugs at the party and then you say to them that the rule is you are not to take drugs, it’s dangerous. Then show up at the party. Will you embarrass them?

Absolutely. It’ll be worth it. You'll embarrass them for a second or two, but you will know whether or not there are drugs or alcohol at the party. So that’s what we mean by follow‐up. So, if you make a rule. and you’re talking to children about changing behavior, then follow it up. It’s very important.

So in terms of setting rules and expectations, what we want you to do is to set your expectations—whatever they are—and discuss this the first day of school with your students. And say it in your own words—depending on the age level you’re working with; whether it’s kindergarten or 10th grade or 11h grade. Say it in language that’s appropriate for them. "Here are my expectations." And only have two or three, four at the most. An expectation would be worded simply like this, "I expect you all to do excellent work or produce work or to do your homework or to follow routines."

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Whatever that might be. Okay? Break it down. Explain those expectations. Once you have your expectations set, then you start talking about what kinds of rules should we have in this classroom. The question you could ask is, "What is a good student? How does a good student behave? What is a good teacher? How are you supposed to act in assembly programs? How are you supposed to act in the classroom? What are you supposed to do when someone is angry? What is each individual to do?" Those are the kinds of questions that you want to gather with your students in a classroom setting to get them involved in setting rules. You should have no more than five to seven rules per classroom.

And, incidentally, I think where we go wrong with rules also is that we make too many rules. You know darn well that in a teacher’s handbook sometimes—especially in the high school handbooks—it may have 150 rules. No one is going to read 150 rules.

You can’t remember that many. So limit your rules. I would say—and I don’t know the source of this, but I did see this someplace, and I think it’s a good idea—there are only two rules you really need for school rules. And you could plaster them all over the school. But people, even kindergarten children, can remember two rules.

The first rule is this, respect all people and property in the school. That’s your first rule.

The second rule is, listen to all the adults in the school. Now you—o f course for the younger children, you have to explain what adults means. It means teachers, custodians, and so on.

But just think about that. That covers just about every type of behavior that you www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 58 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

could imagine. Two rules. Everybody can remember this. When you meet with the students the first day of school or whenever you meet them in an assembly program or in the classroom, you can go over what that means. And take the time. But you only need two rules. And that will guide you very effectively throughout the whole school year.

And in the classroom, you’ll make your behavior rules. And you must separate behavior rules from routines. We’re not talking about, for example—at a high school level‐ ‐lab routines. You need to go over specific routines that they must follow for safety factors and so on. So you separate rules from routines. But very basic rules. Come to school prepared with a pencil, paper, and pen. Be very specific. Saying just, "Be prepared," is not a good rule. Saying, "No cursing in the classroom," is not a good rule.

It doesn’t tell them what to do. You must tell students what to do. That’s stated in the negative. It says no cursing. So what do you want the students to do?

So there are certain factors that we follow when we’re setting rules. One, I already mentioned that it must be a shared process. Make the rules with the students.

Number two, model the rules. If you want students to raise their hand before they ask a question, then this is what you should do. I’m going to ask a question, I wonder who knows the answer? But do you see? I’m modeling that behavior. And you keep repeating it over and over again. If you had parents like I did, you always remembered those rules because they repeated them endlessly. I mean, you could even finish the sentence when they started it. You knew what they were going to say. And the same is true with rule‐making in the school. You can’t just give kids a list of rules and say,

"Memorize these," and then expect good behavior to follow. It won’t happen. You need

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 59 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators to keep repeating it.

Clip 17: Connecting Rules and Consequences

TONY SCANELLA: Another thing that you have to consider is that rules must make sense. They must make sense. If a student throws paper on the floor on purpose, the logical thing to do is to have him clean that up or pick that paper up. Detention doesn’t make sense. Writing

"I will not throw paper on the floor" a hundred times does not make sense. It’s silly. So try to connect rules and consequences if you have to go over consequences. In our program that we talk about later is that we like the students to come up with the consequences, so you don't have to worry about that.

Another thing that's important is make sure your rules are clear and specific and stated in the positive. And I have a chart here that goes over each one of these criteria for making good rules. And I think if you abide by these criterion—you could change it if you want—but it covers most of this whole concept of how to write good rules.

Another thing, too, is that—and this may be controversial—but we want you to be fair, not necessarily equal. Now, I know that zero tolerance—there’s a lot of talk about zero tolerance and a lot of schools have adopted it because of students bringing guns and weapons to school. I’m not opposed to that. Anyone that brings a gun into school or attempts to use any kind of a weapon should be suspended or expelled immediately.

What I’m talking about is that you should set it up so the students understand that I am going to be treating each of you differently because you have different personalities; you have different needs. And I would explain that thoroughly to them. But it’s not right to give the same kind of punishment for every kind of kid. Each kid reacts in terms of his or www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 60 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

her own needs and motivations. All discipline is, is a cry for help. But people are crying for help because of different reasons. And we have to understand that. So be fair, not necessarily equal. That’s an important concept.

Now, for example, what do you do the very first week of school? Well, we’re saying that it would take—what we’re discussing right now, teaching rapport skills; going over personalities; and asking questions about what makes a good student would take, at the elementary level, about a week and a half to two weeks of just doing what we’re doing right now. Now, I know some administrators and some teachers may fall off their chairs if they’re sitting down or they might faint. However, take the time to set your classroom and your school up at the beginning of the year. Do it right, and you'll have far fewer problems the rest of the year. You do it right in the beginning, you have great benefits at the end.

So, what we’re saying is at the high school probably a week; but the elementary and middle school levels, about two weeks. What do you do? Well, we believe in seating charts. We absolutely believe in seating charts. We don’t necessarily think that kids need to sit where you tell them to sit, but you must know where they’re sitting at all times. We’re strong advocates of seating charts. You must know where your students are at all times in the classroom.

The second thing is that you would start immediately with something like rapport building. We actually teach students how to get rapport. That is an excellent skill for students to have. Because, for example, if two students argue and one is standing like this and the other is standing like this, they could simply look at each other and say, www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 61 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

"Whoop, you're out of rapport. Look at the way you’re standing." And it sort of diffuses the anger.

But rapport building is very important. We have a list of at least 12 or 13 icebreakers. And we suggest that you would start with one of these icebreakers and use one each day. Now, these icebreakers are devised in a very special way. And I think there are many icebreakers out there; there are books in bookstores and libraries that are filled with icebreakers. However, we have some conditions for good icebreakers to help build rapport. And that is that we want thinking skills or critical thinking skills or highly developed skills to be attached to the icebreakers.

Now, for example, if you look at number two on the chart where it has the icebreakers. This is a very unique activity. What is supposed to happen is you two students—and this can work at any level. You have student A and student B. And student A talks for two minutes and tells why he or she is unique. They maybe have a unique hobby; they may do something very unusual. And person B listens for two minutes. And, as they’re listening, they have to make up a book title or a song title or a film title or just make up a title that captures the uniqueness of that person talking. So, for example, if the person’s talking, and they go, "dadadadadadadada," you go, "Oh,

Jaws, that captures the whole idea." So you would explain why that is the—why that person is unique in terms of Jaws.

However, what’s involved in this activity is something very unusual. First of all, there are speaking skills attached to it. One person speaking; the second person is listening. It forces kids to listen for about two minutes. It involves an analysis. It www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 62 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

involves synthesis, taking all these ideas and condensing it down to one book title.

That’s a very difficult skill.

So each one of the icebreakers has these kinds of things attached to it. It’s important to look for those kinds of icebreakers. Why? Harvard University did a study a couple of years ago and it said this—this was the major conclusion—students who think critically have fewer discipline problems. Now, that’s a real important piece of information for educators, both administrators and teachers. And parents. And I’ll tell you why. Kids who are disruptive, kids who are character disturbed, kids who tend to get into a lot of trouble—the recidivists—don't have necessarily the same logical system that you have. Now, I know this from experience from working with kids who are former gang members, kids who are in trouble, kids who are incarcerated. They don’t necessarily have the same logic system that you have.

I’ll give you an example. If you ask one of these boys or girls, "Why did you rob that 7‐11 store?" This is the kind of response you’re going to get. "Well, you know, I would have never robbed that 7‐11 store if the manager didn’t go in the back to get the beer for the customer." And then you go, "What?" That doesn’t even make sense. And you know something? To them it does; to you it doesn’t. And that’s part of the problem dealing with kids that have serious problems. Because you’ll hear administrators and teachers say, "That doesn’t make sense to me. I want you do to this." And inside that child's head he or she is saying, "Well, that doesn’t make sense to me either." So you have two systems. So, we know that if you teach kids how to think critically or to think in a logical way, they will have fewer discipline problems.

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So that, at the very beginning of the year, helps them. And your whole system should be built around that. Having kids think about what to do. When we get into the communication patterns, we’ll talk more about that. But that’s an important concept.

When you don’t understand what someone’s saying, don’t impose your values, don’t impose your logic on them. You need to match them in their model of the world or you will never get through to these kids. That’s the whole idea of building rapport with them.

We’re matching them where they are. Once you match a student, where they are, okay, then you can lead them to where you want to take them or where they want to go.

Otherwise, you’re going to have constant conflict. You will have no movement.

So that’s the whole idea of pacing and leading and taking and matching, and taking kids from what they’re saying, what they’re doing. Don’t impose your values on students. It doesn’t work that way.

Another thing that we suggest that you do is that you write your rules on a piece of paper, send it to the principal, assistant principal—now, this is for classroom teachers.

So you have five to seven rules written down. The assistant principal or principal will clip them together. You will put them in little booklets. And in the first week or so—or the second or third week—at your first faculty meeting, you will distribute everybody’s rules. You will look at them, you will go through them, and you will discuss them.

That’s the way of building consistency. And if you wonder why teacher A has a particular rule, you ask, "Why do you have this rule?" That’s how you start to come to a consensus and know what’s going on in the entire school. And that makes—that's a powerful message to kids.

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The next thing you do is you take those set of rules, and you send them home for parents to sign. So you know the parents must sign off on those rules, they come back.

And I would even suggest that you give a little test—true false test—on the rules, so every child knows what the rules are. And if you built in the consequences, what the consequences are if you break those rules.

Clip 18: What If A Student Breaks the Rules?

TONY SCANELLA: Now, what happens if you set your rules up, and a student breaks the rules? Let’s say a student comes into class late every single day. Our suggestion is to have what we call a CLICK meeting with the students. You could stop your work at any time you want to for 15 minutes and sit down and talk about why this behavior is occurring. And have a discussion about it. And also give alternatives. So, you go around the room, "Why is this going on? Well, Mary is coming in to school every single day late. She’s breaking the rules. We have to work together because this is a team." You discuss the behavior; discuss the alternatives. Seek help. What else can we do? How can we get her here on time? And, so, what you have established is something like this. If there’s a problem in the room, they have to solve the problem. They have to think about it. So you’re doing your thinking skills, your problem solving skills, and they’re feeling empowered and a sense of control in what’s going on in their classroom.

The other thing that we’re advocating is what we called partnerships, or timeout rooms. This is a concept that we’ve been working with for a number of years—and very successfully, I might add. And it goes something like this. At the beginning of the year, you establish a partnership with another teacher. Hopefully, it’s right next door to you.

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So it must be a room that’s in close proximity. And there’s a chair in the back of the room. And if a student misbehaves in your classroom and gets a little out of hand, you don’t send the student to the assistant principal's office or the principal's office. You send that student to the next door neighbor, and they sit in the back of the room. And they just sit there. They may do their work or they may not do their work. My preference is just to have them sit there and think about alternatives to what they were doing. So you sit here, think about what you did, and now think about how you’re going to avoid that kind of behavior. And when the time is up—if it’s in an elementary school there’s a certain time period; or at the end of the time period in high school—the teacher gets the student, talks about what has happened in the classroom; and the student’s allowed back into that classroom after that discussion.

The thing that’s good about this is that it avoids teachers sending kids to the assistant principal's office. Discipline takes place in the classroom for the most part. If the teacher is constantly sending a student out—or a group of students out—to the assistant principal's, that is a negative message. We don’t believe that message should be sent. Try to deal with all your discipline problems in your classroom. And the timeout gives you a sort of a safety valve where you can sort of shift it for a moment. But the student knows that this is something the teachers are working together. It’s a much healthier concept. The administrators have to know though that if a teacher’s that frustrated when a student is sent to him or her, the worst thing to do is to send a student right back to the teacher. If the teacher’s that frustrated, find out what’s going on. Keep the student there until the appropriate time, and then talk to the teacher about why he or she is sending that student to the office so many times.

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Let me mention a few other things regarding moving students from a classroom.

There’s been some controversy about in‐school suspension, whether or not they’re worth it, whether or not they work. Let me say that I think in‐school suspensions will work if you have a strong disciplinarian in the room at all times and that individual person can deal with interpersonal relationships and has some good information, some counseling experience. I think in‐school suspension is an excellent way of dealing with kids to give them sort of a timeout, make them go over what they’ve done. And there should be involved in that some sort of a contract or some kind of a behavior change on paper regarding how they are to improve in terms of discipline.

Clip 19: Powerful Strategies to Deal With Disruptive Students

TONY SCANELLA: Another thing that we’ve experimented with and have been very successful in a number of schools is this idea of focus groups. You know, in the advertising world, they have what they call focus groups. They gather a group of people together to find out whether or not some product is valuable and what they think of the product, and they talk about it for a period of time. If students become disruptive in the lunchroom, very often what we do is either suspend them if it’s a repeated kind of behavior; or we move them to another part of the room. It's the same thing as if you had two talkers in a classroom, what teachers tend to do is to put one talker over here and another talker in another part of the room. Then you have four talkers. So you’re not really solving your problem. So by putting a disruptive student in the lunchroom to another table, there may be some disruption over there. www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 67 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

What we suggest is that an appointed person—usually an assistant principal or a teacher appointed to this period of time—during lunch meet with students who are disruptive. They are removed from the lunchroom. They are put into a special room or a classroom. And for 20 minutes they talk about good behavior; they talk about individual behavior; and they talk about group behavior. And for the next 20 minutes, if you have that time of forty minutes, they are allowed to eat their lunch. They do this every single day until the assistant principal or the teacher or the principal or whoever is in charge of that group decides whether or not that child can go back into the lunchroom, then that child can go into that room. But it gives an opportunity to get kids out of a disruptive environment to talk about their problems, and to solve problems both individually and collectively. So, this is a better alternative to what we usually do in terms of lunch room misbehavior.

What I’d like to do is to talk about when students really start to misbehave. What are the strategies or what are the solutions? What are some of the things that you can do‐

‐ sort of a list of what you can do step by step if a student becomes very disruptive. And

I’d like for you to refer to your handouts and to the one that says "The CLICK Strategies to Eliminate Misbehavior."

The first thing that you could do is look for the nonverbal cues. If a student comes into a classroom, and his hands are balled up into a fist and he looks angry—or she looks angry—and she goes to the chair and kicks the chair, sits down. The worse thing you could do is confront that student and say, "Hey, nobody misbehaves in my class that way. Nobody acts like that.: What you should do—and we recommend you do—is walk www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 68 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

over very calmly to the student, whisper in her ear, "You seem really upset. Just relax.

You don’t have to do anything. You just can sit there and do nothing. Just don’t bother anyone. And I’ll talk to you about this later." And walk away. That shows a sense of respect; it eliminates screaming and yelling at students.

Incidentally, when we were observing good disciplinarians in schools, we found that the screamers were usually the ones that had more of the most problems with students. Screaming doesn’t really get you anything except screaming back. I mean, if the model is screaming, that’s what you’re going to get in your classroom. The teachers that were calm and had a very calm presence about themselves were very successful. So one of the things you should do is to think about that. There is no room for screaming and embarrassing students in the classroom.

Number two, moving close to a student. As you approach a student, you will get closer and closer. That generally—or it stops misbehavior. Sometimes it doesn’t. And then there are other things you can do. You may go over and whisper, "Please stop what you’re doing.' Say something very calmly into that child’s ear; just whisper it. Change your tone of voice, or rate of speech. So, if suddenly I start to talk like this, and I look in the direction of a student who is misbehaving, that may stop the particular behavior. Stop talking and wait; just pause. The pause is a very powerful, very powerful intervention.

What you should do is pause for five seconds, turn and look at that student, and then slowly walk toward that student. Very calmly and very slowly. And you may even start talking at that point. But generally that stops a lot of misbehavior.

One of the things that teachers do is they contaminate their classroom. What www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 69 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

they’ll do is they’ll scream and yell over here, they’ll scream and yell over here, they’ll run over here and scream and yell over here. Meanwhile, they’ve contaminated the entire classroom. If you‘re going to do something like that, we suggest a little better way. It’s called anchoring. It’s a visual anchor. At the beginning of the school year, put a hula hoop or paint a red circle in this area of the room in one corner. And you say to the students, "Students, you see that red circle over there? If anyone is off task or if anyone is misbehaving, I’m going to walk very slowly to this red circle. When I stand in this red circle and I look at you, you’re in trouble." So, you’ll be teaching and you'll conduct the class. And all of a sudden someone is misbehaving. You stop; you pause; and as you’re walking, they're probably saying, "Oh, my goodness, what did I do?" And when you get in this circle, and you talk about the behavior—but calmly, no screaming.

So that’s another idea that we had that we've tried. And we know that it’s very successful in most cases. Always ask, "What should you be doing?" It redirects the brain. Not, "What are you doing? What should you be doing?"

Number seven, use a pattern interrupt. You could make a strange noise, drop a book. Very often if a student gets very violent and he or she is standing in front of you say, "Excuse me one minute." And you bend down and tie your shoes. That often—that stops that violent behavior in some. Just keep your eyes peeled though in case you might get popped on the head or something.

The next one, make a distracting noise.

The next one, remind students of the rules before they are broken. All right.

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Raise your hands before you speak. And you model the behavior. Move the child to a timeout room next door if that agreement is working.

The next one, remind the student of the rules. And if the misbehavior continues, give a choice to either stop the misbehavior or suffer the consequences. You don't have to say it that way. But when we talk about communication patterns, you’ll understand when I give an example of that. Always remain calm. Always remain concerned. Okay?

Try to redirect the behavior. That’s successful discipline. Distraction and redirection.

Clip 20: Effective Methods to Handle Student Confrontations

TONY SCANELLA: If you look at the next page on your handout where it says "When a Student

Becomes Confrontational, What Should You Do?" Number one, be assertive. Don’t back down. Make eye contact with that student, but keep your distance. And communicate clearly what you want to happen. What is the behavior that you want that child or that student to do? And repeat it. "Please get back to your seat." Or if you don’t want to say please, just say, "Get back to your seat," which I think is more effective.

"Get back to your seat." And repeat it calmly. Be congruent with your body posture.

Don’t do something like this—"Get back to your seat," and walk away and start teaching again. I want you to be assertive, look the student straight in his or her eye, and repeat the behavior that you want. If the student is a small student—elementary school—if you have to get down a little bit, make eye contact, do that. Okay. That’s also very powerful.

Use a lower voice than normal. "Get back to your seat. Get back to your seat." That’s all you have to do. Keep your voice rhythmical, all right. Lower it. Experiment with

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 71 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators using your voice tones because they are very powerful.

Clip 21: COMMUNICATION PATTERNS

TONY SCANELLA: Now, we would like you to look at the basic communication patterns in the

CLICK program. We’re only going to give you five basic patterns. We don’t think you need to have hundreds of basic communication patterns. These are very effective and very powerful. What we want you to do is to study them; experiment with them. Use a good class to experiment with to be more successful at the very beginning. And they come in handy. You need to have some kind of an arsenal, some kind of communication that you could use; some sort of communication tool kit.

The first pattern, first communication pattern, is called the computer mode.

There’s a book called “Back in Control” by Gary Bodenhamer; and this is sort of a variation of that. There are also a number of books that talk about being in computer mode repeating the same thing over and over again. Let me give you an example of how powerful this is. And this is what I call the "one word discipline program," and it’s very powerful and very effective. And it works for all ages, kindergarten through 12.

Let me give you an example from something that a parent might be doing.

Parents in the living room doing something, reading. And her 12‐year‐old daughter comes walking in and says, "Mom, I’m going out." "Oh, where are you going?" "I’m going out." "Going out? Who are you going out with?" "I’m going out with Betty."

Betty, who’s Betty?" You know Betty. You met her the other day." "I’m not quite sure if I know Betty." "Oh, come on ma. You know Betty. The one who’s hair is shaved on the side that had earrings all over her body that was smoking a cigarette and cursing and www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 72 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

hanging around with 25‐year‐old boys." "Yeah, that’s Betty, that’s—oh, I don’t think so." "Well, what’s the matter?" "Oh, you’re not going out with Betty." "Well, what’s the matter? Don’t you trust me?" "No, honey, I trust you, but you are not going out with

Betty. I don’t trust her." "I don’t believe this. What is this the FBI? Are you checking up on me?" "No, this is not the FBI; but you are not going out. Forget about it. That’s the end of the conversation." "Well, didn’t you choose your friends when you were 12 years old?" "Yes, but I didn’t choose anybody that looked like that; and you are not going out." "I don’t believe this. I’m going out." And the daughter gets very defiant and starts to walk out and gets into a wrestling match with the mother.

Now, how do you stop that kind of defiance? Well, you stop that kind of defiance this way. One word. Let me repeat the scenario. "Mom, I’m going out." "Who you going out with?" "I'm going out with Betty." "Oh, Betty the one with—" Now, that part was good. She was giving her child criteria. And parents should do that, should say, "I don’t like the way that person looks." So she did that part right. Now, here’s where she falls down. "Betty. You are not going out with Betty. I don’t want you going out with

Betty." Well, what’s the matter? Don’t you trust me?" Now here’s the word— regardless. "Regardless if I trust you or not, you are not going out." "Well, I don’t believe this. What is this, the FBI? You don’t trust me? Checking up on me?" "No, regardless of whether this is the FBI, you are no going out." "Well, I don’t believe this.

Didn’t you choose you friends when you were 12 years old?" "Regardless, what I did when I was 12 years old, you are not going out." "Well, I can’t stand that word

'regardless'". "Nevertheless, you are not going out."

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You see, in the first scenario, who is in charge? The daughter is in charge. She’s taking her mother for a ride. She’s going "trust" and "FBI" and this. And then the mother is just following along. And in the second scenario, she’s saying that’s it, regardless of this. You say it calmly. "Teacher, teacher, may I sharpen my pencil?"

"Oh. we don’t sharpen our pencils." "Well, all the teachers—" "Regardless of what other teachers do, you are not sharpening your pencil." So it works in every situation. It works at home; it works in the school. So the one word. It’s called the computer mode.

The second pattern. What we like to do is—especially it works well at the elementary level. We give the illusion of choice. This is a hypnotic pattern. It's taken from hypnosis. What you do is give the illusion of choice. Kids love choice. So, you could say, "You could either carry your jackets outside or put them on now. You can either study here or study with a friend over there." See, the goal is to get that student to study. It doesn’t matter if it’s here or over there. And we’ve given you some illusions of choices that you could use in the classroom. "You could turn your assignment in now or you can turn it in after the class. You could read your book here at your desk or on the floor." The object is—or the goal—to get that child to read. So, kids love choices. And especially young ones, they think, "Oh ,I got a choice. Now I have control. Which one am I going to use?"

The third communication pattern is called redirecting, and we’ve eluded to that several times. "What should you be doing?" Not, "What are you doing?" Okay. Or directing it this way. "John, I like the work you're doing. That’s going to turn out to be a great project." But looking at a student who is off task, so you’re redirecting behavior that way. www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 74 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

The fourth pattern is called reflection. Reflecting it back onto the student. So, you say something like, "Okay, you misbehaved—" Whatever that might be, you coming in late—now, w what do you think I can do to you now? What do you suppose I can do to you?" "Well, you can call my parents." "Yes." "You can give me detention." "Yes."

"You could have me get a new alarm clock." "Yes." And come up with a few more.

Okay. Have the student pick one. This way they’re solving their own problems and coming up with their own consequences. So, in this situation—in communication pattern four—it’s used to get kids to think about consequences and to solve their own problems.

It’s a very powerful intervention.

And the last one is what I call the praise phrase. It goes something like this. A student misbehaves and you say to the student, "Just because I like you do you think I should let you get away with this?" So that sort of flips the brain around real quick. It confuses the student. Say, "You know, you’re coming into the classroom every day late, you’re hitting a student." Whatever the behavior is, say, "Well, what’s the big deal?"

And you suddenly say, "Well, because I like you, you think I should let you get away with this?" And it’s sort of a shock therapy for students.

Those are the five basic patterns that I think are very powerful interventions for a classroom to keep kids on task and to diffuse anger.

Clip 22: Faculty Meetings for Chronic Student Misbehavior

TONY SCANELLA: Let me tell you about an intervention we think is very powerful and very

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 75 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators effective. And in many schools, this is all they’re doing to improve their discipline problem. It’s called the CLICK Faculty Meeting. And let me see if I could sort of explain this in brief.

If any teacher has a problem with a student, and he or she has exhausted all possibilities with that student and they become exasperated and they run down to the principal's office and say, "I don’t know what to do with this child. I have tried everything. I’m an experienced teacher. I’ve given it everything and I am failing with this child." Then it’s time for a CLICK Faculty Meeting. The principal says, "Would you like to have a CLICK Faculty Meeting?" "Yes, I would."

And here’s the idea behind this. And it doesn’t have to run by the principal or assistant principal. It could be run by a teacher, anyone that wants to do this. The faculty is assembled. Say you have 50, 60 individuals on the faculty. The teacher has consented to go through this process. There’s a chair in front of the room. The teacher sits down and says, "I have a problem with a student. I would like your help."

This entire process takes about 12 minutes. And I really think this is what should be done in faculty meetings instead of some of the other things that are usually done.

This is really a very helpful process for teachers—particularly new teachers or teachers that have been in the system a long time and have sort of exhausted their possibilities with some of the students that they’re dealing with today. The teacher sits down. She first describes the student in terms of age and grade—no names are allowed, but most of the time you’ll probably know who that student is—a and the behaviors that are causing a problem in the classroom. So, the teacher might say something like, "I have this child. www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 76 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

She’s a female. She’s in the sixth grade. And the major problem is that she is always out of her seat. She answers back continuously. She doesn’t do her work, and she’s roaming all over the classroom. And I don’t know what to do." "And I’ve tried everything." The facilitator says, "Okay. Of all of those behaviors, which one would you like to resolve first? Which one would you like to solve first?"

You need to solve one thing at a time. Very often the problem is we try to solve all of the problems and we get nowhere. So choose the problem that you think is causing the most problem. Okay, the answering back. What could I do in terms of helping the— help this child to change this attitude of answering me back? At that point, she is given a pad and a pencil and then the rest of the group is directed as follows. You are going to break up into groups of five or six, and I would suggest a minimum of five. And I’m going to give you two minutes. In that two minute time you are going to—each group is going to come up with two solutions to solve her problem. Now these solutions should be out of the box. We want you to brainstorm, and we want you to be extremely creative.

Even the wildest things sometimes could be the most appropriate to change behavior. So put on your thinking caps, you have two minutes. And at the end of two minutes, I’m going to call time.

At the end of the time limit what you do is this. You go from group to group, and you do this quickly. What are the two solutions? And they are not to discuss the solutions. They are to give the description as quickly as possible of the solution. You can do thus and so with this child. Have you tried it? If the answer is yes, you go quickly to the next one. If the answer is no, this teacher who has the problem writes it www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 77 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

down. You don’t need to describe it or discuss it at length. She can do this after the faculty meeting if she wants to find out. When that is a yes or a no, you go to the next group. Have you tried it? Yes? Next one. No? Put it down. Next group. Within the

12‐minute period, less than 12 minutes—you will come up with at least 10 to 20 new solutions to solve her problem.

Now, what she does is she goes in the first day and tries the first one. If it doesn’t work, what is our theory? If something doesn’t work, do something else. The next day, you try the second solution, the third solution. Sooner or later one of these is going to work. And you will be surprised at how many teachers are stunned at saying, "Wow, I never knew that I could do this. I never thought of that." The nicest thing about this is while you’re doing this everyone else is hearing this. So someone is having a similar problem, so she will say, "Oh, that’s a good idea. I’ll write that down." And he or she will write that down.

This is the way to build consistency in a discipline program. It’s very powerful.

It’s working together. It’s team concept. And it’s helping each other. We spend more time trying to solve our own individual problems without the help of people who are more experienced and smarter than we are. And then we don't. This is the only profession in education where a teacher is sent into a room, you lock the door and say,

"Okay. Take care of it." We need to start helping each other. We need to start talking to each other. And this CLICK Faculty Meeting is a very powerful intervention; and it helps everyone, particularly new teachers. So, that’s the CLICK Faculty Meeting.

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Clip 23: Student Misbehavior: Things that DON'T Work

TONY SCANELLA: What we’d like to do now is to end this session by having Denise come up and reading things that don’t work. And these are some general ideas that we’ve listed down.

And things that do work. And we’ll start with things that don’t work. These are things we think sometimes cause more problems than not. And Denise will read them one at a time, and I’ll have to add my two cents in when it comes time.

DENISE HECHT: Of course, because he’s a director.

Things that don’t work: ‐Sending students alone into the hall.

‐Sending notes home to parents who don’t care or cannot control their kids.

‐Mailing notices of pupil misconduct. Why? Kids intercept the mail. ‐Generalized shouting at individual students or groups. Just think about that. You have a whole group and you have these stabilizers, perhaps, being well‐behaved. And you’re shouting and contaminating, not only the room, but having these stabilizers feel very uncomfortable as if you are talking specifically to them.

‐Using students as office monitors after they are sent to the office for misconduct.

‐Not reporting criminal activity of any kind.

‐Scheduling after‐school detention at the student's convenience.

‐Not following up on consequences.

‐Setting timelines for new behavior.

‐Ignoring students breaking school or class rules. Stabilizer teachers have a habit of doing that, just kind of overlooking, ignoring. And it’s very important that these school rules are kept up with. www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 79 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

‐Being inconsistent or favoring certain students over others.

‐Giving athletes or drama students a break. That not only affects the athletes or drama students, it affects all the students around them.

‐Calling students to the office over sound systems when they’ve broken school rules. Some students like having their name called so that everybody can hear that they’re the ones breaking the rules.

TONY: This is not good practice because it becomes a badge of honor, just like putting a student's name on the chalkboard and checks next to it. It, in some cases, becomes badges of honor and is not an affective strategy.

DENISE:

‐Boring instruction. That goes without saying.

‐And not having a plan of action in the classroom.

TONY: We have found that successful disciplinarians have a plan every single day when they walk into the room, in addition to the general plan that we talked about. They’re good communicators. They have some kind of a communication system that meets the needs of kids, and that hits with kids at every level. And the most important thing is that they were very caring professionals. Good disciplinarians are very caring people. And that’s the difference that makes the difference in all cases.

Clip 24: Student Misbehavior: Things That DO Work

DENISE HECHT: www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 80 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

And just as Doctor Scanella said, "Things that work."

‐Having a definite plan.

‐Being consistent and fair.

‐Depriving students of recess.

‐Keeping pupils after class for one minute or keeping them after school for 10 to

15 minutes.

‐Saturday detention.

‐Immediate detention or within 24 hours of the violation.

‐Signed punishment notices.

‐Promptly calling a parent at home or work on certain violations.

‐Having students write notes to their parents and explaining their misbehavior.

‐Have it signed.

‐Sending unruly students to another class for a period of time under prearrangement with a cooperating teacher.

‐When a criminal violation occurs, promptly calling the police.

‐Having students carry timecards which are assigned by teachers that attest to promptness to classes and school. This is checked daily by assistant principal or principal.

‐Insisting parents come to school for meetings when a student’s behavior doesn’t change.

‐Mentors contracts.

‐CLICK meetings.

‐Class meetings.

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‐Expulsion when necessary.

‐Calm teachers and administrators.

‐Incentive cards and rewards for students who perform well. Work out incentives with surrounding businesses, for example.

‐Predictable and consistent classroom routines.

‐Seating charts.

‐The CLICK Faculty Meeting.

‐Cheerfully decorated rooms and schools.

‐Student involvement. ‐Teaching students problem‐solving steps when difficulties arise.

‐Saying no when you have to.

‐Finding out the belief of behind a student's behavior.

‐Before and after tutoring programs.

‐CLICK classes.

‐Convenience groups.

‐Groups that place in homerooms.

‐Activity periods.

‐Community service groups.

‐Peer mediation.

‐And anything else that you can gather from your Faculty CLICK Meetings.

TONY SCANELLA: One of the things that I think was very effective. When I was an administrator, I had mentor programs. I think for a lot of students that one‐on‐one personal interaction is extremely important. And I had mentor programs for lots of different groups—for gifted www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 82 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators

and talented, for high risk kids—and they always worked. I was very fortunate, however, to be near a university, And when you have that setup, the students are extremely gracious in giving their time.

One of the things that I did as a principal—and carried it out very few times once the word gets around, and it may or may not hold up in your community. However, everything is legal until someone challenges it.

One of the things is to get parents involved with a student who is extremely disruptive is to suspend the student in the school. Have that parent come into school— father or mother or both—and follow that student. "I don't know what to do with your son or daughter. They're out of control. You need to be; you need to proctor; you need to be here at all times.

And you'd be surprised how quickly the behavior changes when the student knows that the parent's going to be following them, shadowing them, all day long.

So you can do that. And many parents that want to be involved do that. If parents aren't involved, go out and reach out to them. Many parents are intimidated today, especially the parents who are not sure about what's going to happen in terms of differences—racial differences, ethnic differences, language differences. Reach out to all of the parents if you can.

We'd like to leave you with this one thought. When I was 17 and ready to graduate high school—incidentally, I graduated last in my class; and I had some problems along the way. And I wasn't a very good student. And I got into a lot of

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 83 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators trouble.

However, I went into my guidance counselor's office—and I'll never forget this— and I walked in and I said, "I would like to go to college." And he looked at me in disbelief, and he said, "A stupid jerk like you can't get in college. Get out of my office."

So I said, "Oh, okay. That was good counseling." And I started to walk out rather embarrassed; but hurt inside. And then, by the time I got to the outside door of the high school, I was enraged inside. My first thought was to go back and to injure that person. That was my first thought. Then I said to myself, "Just forget this. Go home.

You've got to get out of this school. You didn't have a good experience."

And I started to walk. And I usually would take the 57/Divine Street because I lived very far from the school. And I walked home.

I walked for about three hours. And to this day, I don't remember how I got home; but I do know that I was fully enraged inside.

When I got to my house, I walked up the stairs—I lived in a four‐family house—I walked up the stairs, opened the kitchen door. The first thing I said to myself was,

"Maybe I am stupid." And I didn't think I could get into college. It took me about two‐and‐a‐half, three years to get into college because I really believed that I was stupid.

And that's what I was referencing to before. That your belief changes your behavior. And it was a struggle for me.

So what I'm saying to you is this—if any student ever comes up to you and says,

"Please help me," for goodness sake, don't turn your back on that child—even if you

www.educationalimpact.com 800.859.2793 PAGE 84 Creating Online Professional Development for Educators think they're not sincere. Reach out.

But I want you to do something that no one ever did for me. I want you to say to that student, "Okay, you want me to help you, you do something first; then I'll do something." Holding students accountable is a sign of respect.

Thank you very much for listening to our program.

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