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How Much I Feel

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How Much I Feel PRAISE FOR MARIE FORCE “I will never be the same after reading this book.” —5-star review for Five Years Gone from As You Wish Reviews “There is not a doubt in my mind that this book will be one of the top books of 2018 for me.” —5-star review for Five Years Gone by Julie from Hey Girl HEA “Simply put: One Year Home made my heart happy. Through all of the ups and downs, angst and darkness, unexpected love and insurmountable odds, this powerful novel pulled at my heartstrings and left me breathless.” —Top pick from Sara at Harlequin Junkie for One Year Home “Treading Water isn’t your typical romance where you’re positive you’re going to get the happy ending you were hoping for at the beginning. It will rip your heart out at times and have you weeping for joy at others. A stunning story about learning to love again and learning when to let go of those you love.” —Night Owl Reviews, reviewer top pick “I love, love, love anything to do with the Gansett Island residents! They are real! They love, suffer, and succeed just as any human being would. Following this group of characters through all their ups and downs is addicting.” —As You Wish Reviews OTHER TITLES BY MARIE FORCE The Gansett Island Series Book 1: Maid for Love (Mac & Maddie) Book 2: Fool for Love (Joe & Janey) Book 3: Ready for Love (Luke & Sydney) Book 4: Falling for Love (Grant & Stephanie) Book 5: Hoping for Love (Evan & Grace) Book 6: Season for Love (Owen & Laura) Book 7: Longing for Love (Blaine & Tiffany) Book 8: Waiting for Love (Adam & Abby) Book 9: Time for Love (Daisy & David) Book 10: Meant for Love (Jenny & Alex) Book 10.5: Chance for Love (Jared & Lizzie) Book 11: Gansett After Dark (Owen & Laura) Book 12: Kisses After Dark (Shane & Katie) Book 13: Love After Dark (Paul & Hope) Book 14: Celebration After Dark (Big Mac & Linda) Book 15: Desire After Dark (Slim & Erin) Book 16: Light After Dark (Mallory & Quinn) Book 17: Victoria & Shannon (Episode 1) Book 18: Kevin & Chelsea (Episode 2) Novella: A Gansett Island Christmas Book 19: Mine After Dark (Riley & Nikki) Book 20: Yours After Dark (Finn & Chloe) Book 21: Trouble After Dark (Deacon & Julia) Book 22: Rescue After Dark (Mason & Jordan) The Quantum Series Book 1: Virtuous (Flynn & Natalie) Book 2: Valorous (Flynn & Natalie) Book 3: Victorious (Flynn & Natalie) Book 4: Rapturous (Hayden & Addie) Book 5: Ravenous (Jasper & Ellie) Book 6: Delirious (Kristian & Aileen) Book 7: Outrageous (Emmett & Leah) Book 8: Famous (Marlowe & Sebastian) The Treading Water Series Book 1: Treading Water (Jack & Andi) Book 2: Marking Time (Clare & Aidan) Book 3: Starting Over (Brandon & Daphne) Book 4: Coming Home (Reid & Kate) Book 5: Finding Forever (Maggie & Brayden) The Green Mountain Series Book 1: All You Need Is Love (Will & Cameron) Book 2: I Want to Hold Your Hand (Nolan & Hannah) Book 3: I Saw Her Standing There (Colton & Lucy) Book 4: And I Love Her (Hunter & Megan) Novella: You’ll Be Mine (Will & Cameron) Book 5: It’s Only Love (Gavin & Ella) Book 6: Ain’t She Sweet (Tyler & Charlotte) The Butler, Vermont Series (Continuation of the Green Mountain Series) Book 1: Every Little Thing (Grayson & Emma) Book 2: Can’t Buy Me Love (Patrick & Mary) Book 3: Here Comes the Sun (Wade & Mia) Book 4: Till There Was You (Lucas & Dani) Book 5: All My Loving (Landon & Amanda) Single Titles Five Years Gone One Year Home Sex Machine Sex God The Wreck Georgia on My Mind True North The Fall Everyone Loves a Hero Love at First Flight Line of Scrimmage Historical Romance The Gilded Series Book 1: Duchess by Deception Book 2: Deceived by Desire Romantic Suspense The Fatal Series One Night With You (A Fatal Series Prequel Novella) Book 1: Fatal Affair Book 2: Fatal Justice Book 3: Fatal Consequences Book 3.5: Fatal Destiny (The Wedding Novella) Book 4: Fatal Flaw Book 5: Fatal Deception Book 6: Fatal Mistake Book 7: Fatal Jeopardy Book 8: Fatal Scandal Book 9: Fatal Frenzy Book 10: Fatal Identity Book 11: Fatal Threat Book 12: Fatal Chaos Book 13: Fatal Invasion Book 14: Fatal Reckoning Book 15: Fatal Accusation Book 16: Fatal Fraud This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Text copyright © 2020 by HTJB, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher. Published by Montlake, Seattle www.apub.com Amazon, the Amazon logo, and Montlake are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates. Marie Force is a registered trademark with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. ISBN-13: 9781542021319 ISBN-10: 1542021316 Cover design by Hang Le CONTENTS CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 6 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 8 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 11 CHAPTER 12 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 14 CHAPTER 15 CHAPTER 16 CHAPTER 17 CHAPTER 18 CHAPTER 19 CHAPTER 20 CHAPTER 21 CHAPTER 22 CHAPTER 23 CHAPTER 24 EPILOGUE AUTHOR’S NOTE ABOUT THE AUTHOR ht CHAPTER 1 CARMEN It took only one day for my dream job to turn into a nightmare. Actually, that’s being generous. In reality, it took one fifteen-minute meeting with the hospital president to throw years of studying, planning and dreaming straight out the window into the blistering South Florida sunshine. Nowhere in the elaborate job description I was given at my interview to be Miami-Dade General Hospital’s assistant director of public relations did the word babysitter appear. Let’s face it, if I’d known what they really wanted me to do, I wouldn’t be wilting in the scorching early-morning heat waiting for Dr. Jason Northrup to arrive for his first day. “Anything he wants or needs, get it for him,” Mr. Augustino instructed. “Just keep him away from the executive offices.” “But today’s my first day, too. Wouldn’t it be better to have someone who knows the facility meet and escort him?” “I want you to do it,” he said, leaving no room for further argument. “Should I bring him up here to speak with you?” “I’m with the board of directors all day. Don’t bring him anywhere near the conference room.” Something stinks to high heaven about this whole thing. Why isn’t the hospital rolling out the red carpet to welcome Dr. Northrup? Mr. Augustino referred to Northrup as a world-class, board-certified pediatric neurosurgeon. If he doesn’t warrant the red carpet, who does? Most puzzling of all is why Mr. Augustino would let the newest person on his staff handle such an important task and not want to be there himself. My boss’s late directive gave me no time to research my first “assignment,” which has me unprepared and out of sorts as I wait for him. Mr. Augustino gave me a photo of a sinfully handsome man with dirty- blond hair, golden-brown eyes and the perfect amount of scruff on his chiseled jaw. I can only imagine Northrup’s type: privileged, pampered and pardoned for his sins. Now it’s my job to kiss up to him and make him feel “welcome.” After years of waitressing and taking care of actual children to put myself through college and graduate school, being told to babysit him infuriates me. All the carefully cultivated marketing and publicity plans I put together in anticipation of wowing the bosses on my first day are still stashed inside the leather-bound portfolio I clutch to my chest, useless in light of the task I’ve been given for the day as I roast in dense late-June humidity. One thing I’ll say for Miami-Dade General Hospital is the grounds are gorgeous, with lush landscaping, colorful flower beds and grass kept green in the summer heat thanks to artfully hidden sprinklers. Naturally, the good doctor is late, which gives me far too much time to consider my limited options as I try not to completely wilt in heat that makes my armpits feel swampy and has my ruthlessly straightened hair starting to curl. I could go to HR and tell them the position isn’t a good fit after all. With less than a day on the job, it won’t show up on my permanent record, especially since I only just completed the paperwork needed to enroll in the hospital’s payroll system and health insurance program. I could still put a stop to it. But then I recall how proud my parents and grandmothers were when I landed my first big job following years of school. After moving back home when Tony died, I’m finally on my own again in a new apartment I recently rented near the hospital in Kendall. And there’s the wardrobe of power suits I purchased on credit so I could present a professional appearance at work. Paying for all of that is dependent upon my new cushy salary, which will be lost if I quit. Quitting isn’t an option. Not when I haven’t even given the job a chance. Besides, I’m not a quitter. My beloved Abuela would be so disappointed. She and my equally beloved Nona were happier about me landing this job than I was.
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