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Seeking Truth N 2007, a Noted and Well-Respected Newspaper Closed Its Doors

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Seeking Truth N 2007, a Noted and Well-Respected Newspaper Closed Its Doors By Dave Myers; March 8, 2020; Southwest Kansas Catholic Newspaper Seeking truth n 2007, a noted and well-respected newspaper closed its doors. Although it didn’t publish what one might call “the truth,” it Iprinted fiction without the desire to deceive. In doing so, it boldly shed light on the absurdity of a world that took itself way, way too seriously. The demise of this supermarket mainstay was, as one Catholic editor put it, “a real bummer.” That Catholic editor was me, and I stand by those indelible and heart-felt words now more than ever, what with the line between truth and fiction having become more increasingly less visible ... when truth is termed fiction and fiction, truth, and we’re left scratching our heads. Or picking our teeth. Whatever you do when your puzzled. In the world of tabloid news, the Weekly World News stood out. They didn’t seek to harm anyone. Embarrass? Maybe a little. But only insomuch as Hillary Clinton might have been embarrassed by a headline highlighting her adoption of an alien baby, complete with a photo of her holding a tiny extraterrestrial. Most stories had little to do with celebrity. Included were headlines such as, “Man’s 174 mph sneeze blows wife’s hair off,” “Mermaid found in sardine can,” “Santa goes to rehab,” and “World’s fattest cat gets buff,” showing a cat with its arms flexed in a “Mr. Universe”-like pose. These were important stories—stories we need more than ever, today. Do I really care how much time Roger Stone gets in jail? Not really. But I very much would like to know if my sneeze is one day going to blow my wife’s hair off. Or if Santa Clause was finally able to work through his issues and get cleaned up. Do I need to lock up the liquor cabinet next Christmas Eve? The fun was in the joy of considering the ridiculous. You see, the Weekly World News didn’t bother with stories stemming from greed, moral bankruptcy and corruption at the highest levels, or the world-wide dehumanization of select groups of God’s children. Those are sick, frustrating, and all too common stories. No, the Weekly World News instead dealt with stories like ... well, like the bat boy! You gotta remember the infamous “Bat Child”, said to have been discovered in a mine in West Virginia. The little part-bat/part-boy went on, in subsequent issues to: lead police on a high-speed chase, fight in the war on terror, lead the troops to capture Saddam Hussein, bite Santa Claus, and travel into outer space. “In 2000, he gave his endorsement to Al Gore,” a Wikipedia submission reads. “It was foretold that bat boy would become president in 2028.” In looking up information on the now defunct newspaper, I discovered just moments ago (literally), that in 2009, theWeekly World News initiated an online version that still thrives to this day. How did I not know that this beacon of truth was still producing news? Finally we can find truth with a small “t” when truth with a capitol “T” remains ever-muddled. The first headline I read when I discovered the newspaper’s website was, “Miley Cyrus and Bigfoot; Together on Valentine’s Day.” Ahhhh. In our society, where the top news offers a daily reminder that our world is in dire need of healing on multiple levels, the Weekly World News is bringing you the feel-good news. Truth with a small t. We know what we’re getting, which is very rare these days. Truth is truth, fiction is fiction, and never the tween shall meet. The second headline? From Feb. 12, 2020: “Strong finish for bat boy in New Hampshire.” Our friend the bat boy – forever with that wide-open, silent-shout on his face – just can’t stand to be out of the spotlight for long. Now he’s running for president. His running mate is Bigfoot. I don’t know if it’s the same Bigfoot who is dating Miley Cyrus. Probably is, I imagine. Can you imagine Bigfoot as president and Miley Cyrus as the first lady? Three years ago that would have been considered strange. Personally, I welcome bat boy in the next debate and look forward to hearing his ideas on balancing the budget. Other, more recent headlines include one that should be of great concern to Kansans: “Aliens fixed the Superbowl.” The story claims that “Police in Miami, acting on a tip, arrested four beings in a South Beach hotel Monday afternoon and charged them with using mind control to precisely direct the events of the game.” I’ve contacted the U.S. Space Force, informing them of the interference in the Superbowl game. Could the Chiefs have won without their interference? Yes, and by a much higher margin. The aliens, it seems, were working for the 49ers! The joy in these stories is that they are clearly fiction. We’re not asked to believe. Remember when Mrs. Clinton was pictured with a wide grin holding up the cover of the Weekly Word News with the photo of her and the alien baby? No harm, no foul. This in itself is a stark reminder regarding those who would spread lies that aren’t so obvious, and with a far more dangerous agenda. We see false morality used to condone greed; fear to justify inhumanity; and, saddest of all, religion to validate hate. These are at the heart of much of the world’s conflicts. Look at the incredibly sad and tragic news in Syria. Or the rise of hate crimes across the globe. Where is the real truth? Here’s how to find it: weigh the events of the world not through the voice of politicians and the news, but through the prism of total, unconditional love created by our dear Lord. That is the only way to see through to the real truth. Unless you’d rather read about the bat boy. That’s okay, too..
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