A Rhnhm METHOD WORLD EXCLUSIVE: MEMBERS of HOTTEST BOY BAND in U.S
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POLICE FREEMAN BAFFLED: LOCKED UP: DEAD HOOKER FOUND BEHIND HIS WilD WEEKEIID, IN ADMINISTRADON ARREST - 1IIAL II BUilDING, DR!' FEY BEIUTIFUL IISCOISII! ADMITS TO CRIME 1HIS IS Ill STORY Mt IN CAMPIJS-WIDE E-MAIL ADDRESS ·.···· --·DIES- I I I I I I I . ~ ·• I • e ' • I VOLUME 35, ISSUE 22 OVER A BILLION SCHOLARS SERVED! APRIL 1, 2001 A RHnHM METHOD WORLD EXCLUSIVE: MEMBERS OF HOTTEST BOY BAND IN U.S. BREAK SILENCE ON BACKSTAGE DRAMA! .....~ I ; l ~ I • &. • -I ~ ~ l : : -··-IIY! , SlED IEIIID FITHEII. liRE IIIII 1.111 11118? PAGE 2 THE DECEIVER WEEKLY WORLD NEWS • History April 1, 2001 + April 1, 2001 THE DECEIVER WEEKLY WORLD NEWS • History PAGE 3 The Word Of God In Action Bondage Show Draws Catholic Community ALEXANDRA VALENTINE longer so innocent, however - the shirt is power the Devil still Deceiver Russian Princess tied in a way that shows off her lacy red holds in our lives, bra. A large crucifix pendant hovers in her and where we could You never saw that many bondage ample cleavage, and she is sucking on a red end up if we're not enthusiasts in the Catholic community, but lollypop. She does not look a day over 12. careful." members of local churches have recently Satanica kept her hostage tied up and But Saint does not embraced with open arms the lifestyle for whipped her for days, but rather than see it that way. "Fuck merly shunned by the faithful. The fault lament her misfortune, Saint soon began to Catholicism," she lies in an inconspicuous white cottage enjoy the bondage. "Anna and I have a says as she takes a whose basement is transformed on a night great friendship," she says with a giggle. deep drag off her cig ly basis into a dungeon where a scared lit "We've bonded." arette. "I know now tle Catholic schoolgirl is chained to over From there, the two decided to perform that God is bullshit. hanging pipes and whipped by a domina together. Luis Bastille, the Way Station's Anna has shown me trix while an audience filled with upstand proprietor, was more than happy to hire the how good it feels to ing members of the Catholic community act after catching an impromptu perform be bad." She only drools at the action. ance. The "Wanton Way Station" act, as he smiles at the idea that The Way Station Gentlemen's Club is dubs the Saint-Satanica duo, has astronom she might go to Hell Catonsville's premier spot for kinky fetish ically boosted attendance - so much so, for her sins. "I think shows. These are performed every evening that he has recently changed the admission Satan is sexy," she and twice on the weekends. Anna Satanica, format from open to invitation only due to comments as she and wearing a red bodice over a flowing black the large numbers of people who want to Satanica share a dress, accessorized with a dog collar, see the show. Most of these are devout smoke between per chains, handcuffs and a black leather whip, Catholics who continue attending church formances. Off stage, is the Medieval-style dominatrix. For every every Sunday. One of the regular patrons is their relationship car performance she drags Stephanie Saint, a Father Johnson, a priest at a local church. ries no trace of the local Catholic Schoolgirl, down the stairs ''This is a wonderful spectacle," he says violence and fury Adam Craigmiles I Deceiver Staff and proceeds to cuff her in various posi after the show, blushing slightly. "This sort apparent during the Good to Be Bad: Anna Satanica whips Stephanie Saint tions and whip her. of thing demonstrates a lot of Biblical prin show. Saint nods her into submission at the Way Station Gentlemen's Club. Saint was Satanica's first victim. The ciples, like the way that Satan always head as Satanica former freelancing dominatrix abducted temps us weak humans and tries to lure us explains the appeal of their act. pletely to a woman. Other men want to the girl on her way to Sunday school a few to the other side. I don't really see "The two of us are the extremes of dominate. I feed the first fantasy and months ago. Saint still wears her uniform Stephanie as a sinner- she's just demon men's fantasies. Some men want to be tied and pigtails for the shows. The outfit is no strating for us good Christians what kind of up and beaten; they want to submit com- see BONDAGE, page 5 UMBC and High Times Unite in Research Venture Smart LSD, Rose Pot to Put UMBC on Map JOANA GOMES DACRUZ through acid. It's just great!" said Dr. K. Deceiver Staff Writer Kesey, the project's head researcher. Kesey hopes to perfect the drug at UMBC, pre Students at UMBC will be able to par venting rare occurrences in which test sub ticipate in a growing field of biological jects see reruns of Saved by the Bell rather research, which has been proliferating on than their studies. other college campuses and inner city ghet The Marijuana research project is more tos for years. High Times magazine is spon sophisticated, involving a new gene dis Coutesy of UMBC soring the construction of a state-of-the-art 'covered by UMBC's own Dr. Richard Meat University: The new SPAM logo closely resembles the old UMBC logo, with drug research center in the new UMBC Gethman. Through a complicated proce only one minor change, the substitution of SPAM for UMBC. Research Park with the ground breaking dure, Gethman incorporates t:l}e new gene scheduled to occur April 20. into the DNA of a regular marijuana plant. "The new research park will provide The gene therapy makes the plant's off UMBC Changes to SPAM top-notch drug testing and research facili spring resemble rose bushes. Gethman has ties, allowing breakthroughs in marijuana been breeding these plants in his personal Name Change Remembers Deceased Poodle and LSD that have not been made since the lab for some time now. 1960s," Dr. Freeman H. Hrabowski said in "The great thing about this is that we INMATE #00746A was just a clear sign to me of what I had to a campus-wide announcement regarding get to smoke the flower petals or roses Deceiver Staff Writer do. I called up [UMBC President] Freeman the facility. instead of the regular looking weed," said [Hrabowski] the very next day." The LSD research project could benefit Gethman. ''The main benefit is that we can In a sudden and unexpected move, Rumors of a name change have circu college students worldwide. The project grow our own plants and never get caught. UMBC officials announced last week that lated for months. The phrase "Baltimore will develop a form of LSD that will help You can grow them in your back yard and the university would be taking on a new County" has caused confusion and conster students ace their exams. no one will suspect that you are growing name. Beginning immediately, the nation over the years, since it leads some The "smart acid," as it has been nick pot because they look like roses. All you University of Maryland Baltimore County, people to believe that the university is a named by researchers, is taken when the have to do is dry up the petals and role up commonly known as UMBC, will be community college. student sits down to study exactly 24 hours a joint! ... It smells great too." known as Stalwart Peeter Alton McEwan, One rumor said that UMBC might solve before the test. After reading his or her Gethman hopes to use the new lab orSPAM. this problem by becoming "UMBC" with notes once, the student simply goes to sleep space to perfect the process and perhaps The university will retain the tag "An the letters standing for nothing. That rumor and the acid will take full effect at the time move into other plants as well. Honors University in Maryland." was discounted, however. of the exam. While taking the exam, the Once the Research Park is fmished, stu The name change is the result of a $100 Recently, Hrabowski quipped that the student will hallucinate all of the things dents from all majors will be encouraged to million donation given to the university by university would change its name if some that he or she read the night before. If the sign up for human trials. The park is also Boise, Idaho resident Dale Frye. Frye one offered him $100 million. "I was total student was studying for a math or a chem seeking students to fill several research agreed to make the financial contribution ly amazed. I never expected anyone to istry exam, the formulas will appear in internships. only if the university would name itself actually do it," he said. front of his face. If the student is studying If any students are interested in filling after his recently departed pet poodle. For reasons that remain unclear, Frye for a literature exam and has to remember a such positions, or want more information "I wanted to. do something special for has been a faithful Deceiver reader for the poem, the smart acid will cause the poem to regarding the Research Park, they can call old Peeter," Frye said in a telephone inter past several years. Frye said that when he appear in front of him during the exam. (800) 420-4200. view. "When I heard that UMBC would "All majors can benefit from this break- change its name for $100 million, well, that see SPAM, page 6 PAGE 4 THE DECEIVER WEEKLY WORLD NEWS • Hrstory April 1, 2001 ehind the Scenes Harvard Ends Financial Aid, Dr.