Elul 5764 • September 2004 • VOL XXXVII/NO. 7 U.S.A. $3.50 (Outside NY area $3.95)/Foreign $4.50

CLICK HERE FOR TABLE OF CONTENTS THEJJewishewish Elul 5764 • September 2004 OOBSERBSERVERVER U.S.A.$3.50/Foreign $4.50 • VOL XXXVII/NO. 7

THE JEWISH OBSERVER (ISSN) 0021- 6615 is published monthly except July and August by the Agudath Israel of This is the full Table of Contents of the print edition of the America, 42 Broadway, New York, NY10004. Periodicals postage paid in Jewish Observer. The web edition contains only a selection of New York, NY. Subscription $24.00 per articles (indicated in COLOR). Click on the title to go to the year; two years, $44.00; three years, $60.00. Outside of the United States beginning of that article. Navigate using your browser’s menu (US funds drawn on a US bank only) $12.00 surcharge per year. Single and other options. copy $3.50; foreign $4.50. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer, 42 Broadway, NY, NY 10004. Tel: 212-797-9000, Fax: 10 The Branja Conspiracy:The Israeli Elite’s Usurping of Power, 646-254-1600. Printed in the U.S.A. Yonoson Rosenblum NISSON WOLPIN, EDITOR

EDITORIAL BOARD RABBI JOSEPH ELIAS “V’CHOL BANAYICH… AND ALL YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE STUDENTS OF HASHEM…” Chairman

RABBI ABBA BRUDNY 20 Accommodating Children with Special Needs, Mrs. Leah Steinberg JOSEPH FRIEDENSON RABBI YISROEL MEIR KIRZNER 28 Parents at Risk, Rabbi Hal Klestzick RABBI NOSSON SCHERMAN PROF. AARON TWERSKI 34 Avoiding the Risks of Unthinking Parenting, Rabbi Noach Orlowek DR. ERNST L. BODENHEIMER Z”L RABBI MOSHE SHERER Z”L 38 Equal Time:Giving Our Daughters a Chance, Rabbi Shmuel Gluck Founders

MANAGEMENT BOARD AVI FISHOF, NAFTOLI HIRSCH 41 READER’S FORUM – “Confronting the Dangers of the Internet ISAAC KIRZNER, RABBI SHLOMO LESIN NACHUM STEIN – Revisited” (Continued)

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“THE ARROGANCE OF terms of efforts by Israel’s old elites to point of view of democracy…, this poses ISRAEL’S ELITES” – REVISITED maintain their dominant role in estab- a not inconsiderable problem.” lishing public norms. Those elites, she Though Gavison’s focus was the sraelis have coined the term the said,“have a natural tendency to aggran- Supreme Court, she also touched on the branja (clique) to describe a small dize the power of the Court in order to connection between the power of the Igroup of less than a hundred men curb or restrain the process of democ- Court and the media, another of the and women concentrated in the judici- ratization [of Israeli society].” remaining bastions of old elite power. The ary, media, and the law enforcement sys- That Court, due to Israel’s unique accumulation of power by the Court is tem who exercise inordinate influence judicial selection system, which gives the aided and abetted by the sympathetic over Israeli public debate and power over three Supreme Court justices on the judi- media in two ways. First, the media con- elected officials. cial appointments committee virtual con- vey the impression that the judicial phi- Nearly five years ago, we published in trol over the process, has, in Gavison’s losophy of Court President Aharon these pages a lengthy critique of the man- opinion, become “a closed sect, which Barak is shared by all right-thinking ner in which Israel’s traditional elites is uniform and self-perpetuating.” Too jurists worldwide. Deep disputes with- maintain control of the national agen- often, she charged, the Court uses its in academia about the Court’s approach da and seek to thwart various democ- power “to give priority to the values of to specific subjects, and about the ratizing trends in Israel society.1 The one group in society at the expense of Court’s judicial activism, in general, rarely immediate occasion for the earlier arti- the values held by other groups.” reach the popular media. cle was the far-ranging criticism of the And when it does so, its methods recall In addition, both the judicial system Israeli Supreme Court voiced by “the period of the philosopher-king, who itself and its fawning media respond to Professor Ruth Gavison, one of Israel’s informs the citizens from on high what any criticism with dire warnings of threats most respected constitutional law pro- their values are supposed to be.”In sum, to the rule of law posed by such criticism. fessors, in an interview with Ha’aretz’s said Professor Gavison, “one court, As Professor Gavison observed, a system Ari Shavit. Professor Gavison explicitly which effectively appoints itself, that is forgiving of any sharp statement framed her criticism of the Court in creat[es] the constitution by means of made about politicians “is hypersensitive interpreting the Basic Laws, and with- about every critical statement directed at Rabbi Rosenblum,who lives in Jerusalem, is a out any of the control mechanisms that the judicial system.” contributing editor to The Jewish Observer.He is also director of the Israeli division of Am Echad, exist in the United States…. From the Ari Shavit expanded Professor Gavison’s criticism of how the media the Agudath Israel-inspired educational outreach 1 “The Arrogance of Israel’s Elites” (December effort and media resource. 1999.) treats the Court to a more generalized

10 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 critique of how the flow of information over the political echelons. signed off on the indictment, knew that to the Israeli public is filtered through Frequently, nothing more is needed Neeman would be forced to resign as a very specific lens: than to open a file for a criminal inves- Justice Minister as soon as the indictment In present day Israel, there exists an tigation, as in the case of was filed. Even though the trial court almost absolute identity between those Speaker Ruby Rivlin. An investigative file judge summarily dismissed the charges, persons dedicated to the idea of peace on Rivlin lay dormant for four years, with sharp words of criticism for the pros- in its most radical-dovish version and without being closed or a criminal pros- ecution, Neeman never regained his posi- those journalists, lawyers, and aca- ecution initiated. Only when Rivlin, who tion as Justice Minister. In the words of demics, who are charged with setting has been a frequent and sharp critic of Maariv editor Amnon Dankner, those the civic and legal norms and the flow the Supreme Court, was mooted as a pos- “who fabricated a case against an inno- of information…. A certain camp, very sible Justice Minister, did news of the file cent person and obstructed justice to pur- well defined, fulfills three or four leak to select reporters. sue a purely political and ideological functions: they are the players, and the The most egregious case of a crimi- agenda” succeeded. judge, and they both report and explain the process of various media outlets. When Professor Gavison first voiced r. Vicki Shiran, in a study of political her criticisms of the Court, she was viewed as something of a Cassandra. In Dcorruption in Israel from 1948-1997, the last year, however, various aspects of elite power have come under scathing found that not one MK from the ruling party attack from the leading figures within the law enforcement system. had ever gone on trial. Almost all the MKs Last November, Elyakim Rubinstein, prosecuted were religious and/or Sephardi, then the Attorney General and today a justice on the Supreme Court, set off a and viewed as representing subversive storm with a blistering attack on the sym- biotic relationship between certain political forces. investigative journalists, on the one hand, and leading criminal investigators in the police and prosecutors in the State Attorney’s office, on the other. In June, nal prosecution to protect against Nor does the law enforcement sys- current Attorney General Meni Mazuz unwanted elements gaining too much tem treat all prosecutions equally. As created an even greater stir with a frontal power was that against Yaakov Neeman, Professor Gavison observed, “What is attack on the culture of the State Binyamin Netanyahu’s first Justice bothersome is the feeling that an ele- Attorney’s office, in the course of a press Minister. Neeman is one of Israel’s fore- ment of persecution is present in the conference announcing that he would not most legal authorities and a kipa-wear- system. The system denies this, but the indict Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and er to boot. As such, he was viewed as a denial is no longer convincing because his son Gilad on charges of receiving threat to the entrenched forces in the the accumulation of cases has become bribes from businessman David Appel. State Attorney’s office. No sooner was he too great.” Rubinstein and Mazuz have dramat- appointed than an old file was dusted off Dr. Vicki Shiran, in a study of politi- ically reshaped the nature of the Israeli and an indictment filed against cal corruption in Israel from 1948-1997, public debate and subjected the branja’s Neeman. found that not one MK from the ruling exercise of power to greater public Police investigators were not allowed party had ever gone on trial. Almost all scrutiny than ever before. to enter a written recommendation con- the MKs prosecuted were religious cerning Neeman’s case because prose- and/or Sephardi, and viewed as repre- THE BRANJA’S MODUS OPERANDI cutors knew that the recommendation senting subversive political forces. The only would be to close the file. Nor were the two ministers ever convicted of a crime requent recourse to the Supreme police allowed to interrogate the only – Aharon Abuhatzeira and – Court is only one of the means relevant witness in the case, despite his were religious, Sephardi and “subversive.” Fby which the old elites circumvent pleas that they do so, again because the Summing up Shiran’s findings, Ari the legislative and executive branches prosecutors knew that he would fully Shavit observed that whenever a cor- of government. Criminal prosecutions exonerate Neeman. ruption scandal touches upon those close of public officials are another way in Attorney General Michael Ben-Yair to the real centers of power, the scandal which the branja maintains control and State Attorney , who both fades. Either there is no prosecution –

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 11 e.g., Moshe Dayan’s appropriation of THE BRANJA’S DOUBLE STANDARD of the Tax Authority, effectively ending antiquities for his own private collection, any chance of a criminal investigation.2 former president Ezer Weizman’s s censorious as the branja is Nor did the press cover show any acceptance of large unreported gifts from toward those outside the club, it interest in a very strong letter written by a businessman, and those responsible for Ais highly protective of its mem- Aviram Bogat, the Supervisor of Non- Ehud Barak’s phony non-profit organ- bers. The investigation of Yechezkel Profit Organizations, to Attorney- izations; or there is a pardon – e.g., for- Beinisch’s handling of the finances of the General Elyakim Rubinstein, in which mer GSS agent Yossi Ginossar, bankrupt Jerusalem Symphony provides he accused Yechezkel Beinisch of having responsible for framing Yitzchak a good example of the latter. Beinisch is threatened an attorney in his office with Mordechai for the killing of two captured the husband of Justice Dorit Beinisch, dire consequences if she did not drop her Arab terrorists in the ; or who is slated to succeed efforts to have the Jerusalem Symphony the conviction is overturned upon as Supreme Court President. dissolved as a non-profit organization.3 appeal to the Supreme Court – e.g., for- Yechezkel Beinisch and the Jerusalem Only the chareidi newspaper Mishpacha mer Jewish Agency chairman Simcha Symphony, of which he was chairman, even reported Bogat’s letter.4 Dinitz’s conviction for use of business have been the subject of highly critical Usually the media love a mystery. Yet, credit cards to make tens of thousands reports by the Israel Broadcasting it showed no curiosity as to why the of dollars of private purchases, Teva Authority (which partly financed the Movement for Quality Government Pharmaceuticals chairman Eli Hurwitz’s symphony), the Tax Authority, and the leapt to Yechezkel Beinisch’s defense, pub- conviction for income tax evasion.“On Supervisor of Non-Profit Organizations, lishing a report highly critical of the Israel the other hand, when the scandal touch- for a wide variety of potentially crimi- Broadcast Authority’s investigation of es on the religious, Mizrachim, the ‘oth- nal violations. Yet, the media have been Beinisch. The Movement for Quality in ers,’there is a reasonable chance that there virtually silent about the scandal involv- Government had a major petition then will be a conviction or at the very least ing a high-profile figure. pending before a Supreme Court panel, a political execution,” writes Shavit. Even suspicion of a cover-up failed to on which Beinisch’s wife, Dorit, was sit- Not only is there discrimination in rouse the press from its lethargy. State ting. Yet,that fact struck none of Israel’s who is prosecuted, but also in the way Attorney Edna Arbel, who is one of leading investigative reporters, except the media covers different scandals. “In Justice Beinisch’s closest friends and Maariv’s Yoav Yitzhak, as significant. some cases there is a superfluity of cov- whose candidacy for the Supreme Court Police Commander Moshe Mizrahi, erage at the very early stages, in a way that was dependent on Beinisch’s support, chief of criminal investigations, is infringes on the privacy of those in ques- refused to consider criminal charges another darling of the branja and a tion, while in other cases there is repres- against Yechezkel Beinisch, citing her close sion and a ban on publication…. It creates personal relationship with the suspect. 2 That was only part of Arbel’s service to Yechezkel the impression that there is a technique More surprising, she refused to assign Beinisch. When he filed a libel suit against the at work for giving prominence to certain any other prosecutor in the State Israel Broadcast Authority for its coverage of his handling of the finances of the Jerusalem issues and not others,” noted Gavison. Attorney’s office to review the findings Symphony, the State Attorney’s office refused to defend the IBA, as is customary procedure. Only after the IBA hired a private attorney and filed an answer filled with damaging allegations against Beinisch did the State Attorney’s office attempt to intervene in the proceedings to sup- press the IBA’s answer. This strange behavior passed almost unnoticed in the media. 3 Rubinstein, who also needed Dorit Beinisch’s support for his candidacy to the Supreme Court, dropped the matter, explaining lamely that no one had explicitly asked him to open an inves- tigation, a conclusion belied by Bogat’s sharply worded letter. 4 Shortly after Bogat’s letter, Interior Minister Avraham Poraz announced his intention to fire Bogat. Those close to Bogat claimed that Poraz cooled on him only after the latter began an inves- tigation of Yechezkel Beinisch’s handling of the affairs of the Jerusalem Symphony. Yet,the media again ignored the question of why Poraz was deter- mined to fire Bogat, who was generally credited with turning his office from a sleepy backwater to one of the most professional in the Israeli gov- ernment.

12 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 fecund source of leaks to chosen inves- and, in return, those same reporters write THE ATTORNEY GENERAL tigative reporters. The media sprang to glorious profiles of their sources and SHAKES UP THE BRANJA Mizrahi’s defense after then Attorney work to advance their careers. The General Elyakim Rubinstein publicized Attorney General characterized Israel’s he branja’s dominance suffered a a report on Mizrahi’s wiretapping of lead- “new journalism” as “superficial, igno- major body blow in June when ing politicians that recommended his dis- rant, and unethical, with its targets clear- TAttorney General Meni Mazuz missal. Rubinstein’s 68-page report ly marked in advance.” He described issued his final report on whether or not revealed that Mizrahi, in the style of the much of the media as “little more than to indict Prime Minister Sharon and his late FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, a sustained campaign to suppress other son Gilad for bribery in the so-called maintained massive dossiers marked opinions.” Greek Island Affair. “political” of material gathered through Rubinstein’s criticism set the stage for The press had already reported that wiretaps. his successor’s even more fundamental Mazuz would not issue an indictment, Ha’aretz reporter Amir Oren nomi- assault on the culture of the State which would have forced the Prime nated Rubinstein for the Osama bin Attorney’s office. Minister to resign and plunged the Laden prize for the support of interna- tional crime based on his recommen- dation to dismiss Mizrahi. Ha’aretz devoted more coverage to State Attorney Arbel’s 14-page defense of Mizrahi than to Rubinstein’s 68-page report. Readers of Ha’aretz would never have known from the paper’s reporting of the controversy about the dossiers main- tained by Mizrahi, or that those carry- ing out the wiretaps repeatedly complained that they were beyond what was permitted in court orders.5 It was Ha’aretz’s coverage that hen we first opened our doors, we set out to build a first class, out- provoked Rubinstein, in his November of-town yeshivah - including a mesivta, bais midrash and . We 21st speech at a forum on Law and Society Wselected only superb mechanchim for our limudei kodesh staff. We sponsored by the Netanya Inter- accepted the applications of only the finest talmidim, high caliber bnei Torah disciplinary Center, to charge that the self- with excellent midos and a desire to “shteig” in learning. We established a solid styled “Paper For Those Who Think” had Regents-accredited general studies program. And the Mesivta flourished. undertaken “to think for its readers by Since then, we expanded our facilities twice. Finally, we purchased a large placing a wall between them and the building and launched a campaign to prepare it for our future needs. information that would allow them to But the future has caught up to us. We ran out of space make a proper evaluation.” right in the middle of our building campaign. Rubinstein described an entire system based on the principle:“Give me [infor- For this year’s pressing needs, we renovated three floors for our dormi- mation] and I will write favorably tory. We are now in Phase II of the campaign, which will give us a new beis about you.”Senior law enforcement offi- midrash, kitchen and dining facilities, classrooms, multi-purpose rooms, offices and much more. cials – both government prosecutors and police investigators – leak information Reserve your share in the most from ongoing criminal investigations to exciting new Torah institution in the a small group of investigative reporters, New York area. 5 The broad tolerance shown by Ha’aretz,a self- styled defender of personal liberties, for Mizrahi’s wiretapping was hard to square with the paper’s expressions of outrage months earlier when Rubinstein subpoenaed the telephone records of MESIVTA & BAIS MEDRASH OF Ha’aretz investigative reporter Baruch Kra, in an MANHATTAN BEACH attempt to uncover the source of leaks from the ayhc iyvbn’s arsn ,hcu t,ch,n State Attorney’s office to Kra in the Greek Island Y ESHIVA B AIS S HIMON case. (Prosecutor Liora Glatt-Berkowitz subse- quently admitted to leaking the information just Dedication Opportunities Registration & Information prior to the elections to help defeat Prime 718.368.1404 718.368.1333 Minister Sharon at the polls.)

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 13 country into political turmoil. But the truth-finding institutions of the press to lay the responsibility for the Mazuz did not just let matters rest with state, including both prosecutors and prosecution of Yaacov Neeman on a bland conclusion that the evidence the media. Shavit went so far as to com- Arbel. She, in turn, had attempted to against the Prime Minister was insuf- pare the impact of Mazuz’s report to point the finger of blame at Ben-Yair ficient to warrant a prosecution. that of the Agranat Commission in the before the judicial selection commit- Rather, he launched into a blister- wake of the Yom Kippur War, which tee. Implicit in their mutual recrimi- ing attack on former State Attorney refuted the entire conceptzia (paradigm) nations was the admission by both that Edna Arbel, who had submitted a draft upon which Israeli military doctrine the prosecution was unsupportable. indictment against the Sharons, and by was predicated.7 The Neeman prosecution was far implication on the entire culture with- from the only serious charge ignored in the State Attorney’s office. Mazuz THE JUSTICE’S STARTLING by the judicial selection committee. declared as unacceptable the approach LACK OF QUALIFICATIONS Prior to Arbel’s appointment to the “that if the prosecutor has doubts about Supreme Court, Education Minister whether the evidence is sufficient to he implications of Mazuz’s Limor Livnat charged her with having convict, he should submit an indict- report reached far beyond the solicited an appointment for her hus- ment and leave the work to the court.” TState Attorney’s office. The band to a government board, at a time Clearly furious at the way he had first inevitable result of the furor about that Livnat herself was a potential tar- learned of the draft indictment from Arbel was to raise anew questions about get of investigation by the State the media and not from Arbel herself, Israel’s anomalous method of judicial Attorney’s office.9 After initially deny- Mazuz wondered aloud why Arbel had appointments – in particular the ing the charge, Arbel admitted, once chosen to reopen the case against the degree of control over the process of her appointment to the Supreme Prime Minister after three teams of the three Supreme Court justices on the police investigators had recommend- judicial selection committee, and the 6 The Attorney General noted that many of the ed against prosecution, and only last manner in which the decisions are services allegedly performed by Ariel Sharon for businessman David Appel took place before Appel December, a team of senior prosecu- arrived at in private by Supreme employed Gilad Sharon (the alleged bribe), and tors, with Arbel herself fully partici- Court President Aharon Barak and the that many of the payments from Appel to Gilad pating, had reached the same Justice Minister before the committee Sharon took place after Ariel Sharon was already conclusion. He charged her with “tar- ever deliberates.8 in the opposition and unable to render Appel any assistance on his projects. He also noted that wire- geting” the Prime Minister, and said that A long laundry lists of questions taps of Appel showed that he had indeed valued that attitude had spread to the entire were raised about Arbel’s fitness for the the inexperienced Gilad’s services, and that the prosecutorial team she had assembled Court prior to her appointment. Yet the huge salaries paid were commensurate with those for final consideration of the case. judicial selection committee barely of others working on the project. Mazuz picked numerous holes in paused to consider the charges against 7 No one was left with more egg on his face by Arbel’s case.6 In addition, he pointed her once the three Supreme Court Mazuz’s report than Justice Minister Tommy Lapid. On the one hand, Mazuz’s decision was a great out that many of the leaks from the Justices and Justice Minister Tommy relief to him, as his Shinui Party had committed State Attorney’s office to the media were Lapid settled upon her as their candi- itself to resigning from the government if an indict- highly tendentious distortions of the date. After Attorney General Mazuz ment would be issued against the Prime Minister. evidence. Ari Shavit described Mazuz’s issued his report, former Attorney On the other hand, just a few weeks earlier, he and Court President Aharon Barak had been toasting report as a scathing indictment of all General Michael Ben-Yair rushed to the each other upon successfully railroading Edna Arbel’s appointment to the Supreme Court through the judicial selection committee. Now, he was left to explain the dispute between Mazuz and Arbel as nothing more than an issue of legal philosophy over the burden of proof required for commencing a criminal prosecution. 8 On the last round of appointments to the Supreme Court, prior to Arbel’s appointment, Justice Dorit Beinisch nixed the candidacy of Professor Nili Cohen, according to press reports, because she felt it would adversely affect the chances of Arbel, her good friend and successor as State Attorney. 9 The solicitation on behalf of Uriel Arbel was apparently part of a pattern. During the investi- gation of the fake non-profit organizations of the 1999 Barak campaign, Prime Minister Barak sought to nominate Uriel Arbel to be a director of Zim Lines, but was deterred by press reports.

14 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 Court was approved, that such an approach to Livnat had been made, but that it had been made by a third party.10 Now, for the first time, questions were asked as to why the judicial selec- tion committee devoted almost no time to the Education Minister’s accusations. Prior to Arbel’s appointment by the judicial selection committee, Knesset Law Committee Chairman Miki Eitan took the unprecedented step of call- ing hearings on Arbel’s appointment. He was promptly assailed in the media for undermining the Court and the rule of law. Suddenly, his decision seemed like sweet reason. Even Ha’aretz,nor- mally a reliable defender of the judi- Simcha Guidelines cial selection process and Court President Barak, wondered how some- THE VORT • The menu for the seuda is limited to 3 one of Arbel’s mediocre legal talents • The Vort celebration is to be courses followed by a regular dessert. had been appointed. discontinued. The L’chaim (held at The prestige of the Court was itself • No Viennese table and no bar. the time that the engagement is tarnished by having such damaged THE MUSIC goods as Arbel pushed upon it, further announced) should also not turn into a proof of the adage of labor organizer Vort. • A band may consist of a maximum of Saul Alinsky: Immoral enemies make THE WEDDING 5 musicians (one of the musicians may act stupid mistakes. as a vocalist) or four musicians and one • Only 400 invited guests may be additional vocalist. seated at the chassuna seuda. MORE THAN A DAGGER IN THE HEART • A one-man band is recommended. • The kabbolas panim smorgasbord azuz drove a dagger into the should be limited to basic cakes, fruit plat- FLOWERS & CHUPA DECOR heart of one of the bastions ters, a modest buffet, and the caterer’s • The total cost of these items for the Mof the branja’s power, the State standard chicken or meat hot dishes. entire wedding should not exceed $1,800. Attorney’s office. But he did more than that. He took an approach totally at FOR THE FULL VERSION OF THE SIMCHA GUIDELINES variance with that of the branja. As a AND THE ACCOMPANYING KOL KOREH, native of the Negev development town please email [email protected] or call 212-612-2300 of Netivot, he is an outsider to elite cir- cles. Perhaps his background spared We the rabbinical signatories — barring familial obligations — and unusual and him the assurance of the traditional extraordinary circumstances — will not participate in or attend a wedding celebration that Israeli elites that it is their divine right disregards these guidelines. (Rabbinical Listing in formation) 11 to dictate all societal norms. Rabbi Shmuel Birnbaum Rabbi Eli Simcha Schustal Rabbi Elya Ber Wachtfogel Rosh Hayeshiva, Mirer Rosh Hayeshiva, Bais Binyomin, Stamford Rosh HaYeshiva, Yeshiva Gedolah of 10 South Fallsburg Other charges against Arbel included taking a Rabbi Rabbi Yisroel Rokowsky government pension of 200,000 shekels to which Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Gedola of Philadelphia Rabbi Yisroel Simcha Schorr Rabbi Chaim Boruch Wolpin Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Karlin Stolin she was not entitled, and failing to return it after Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetzky Roshei HaYeshiva, Yeshiva Ohr Somayach a public commission found that the pension had Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Gedola of Philadelphia Rabbi Aryeh Rabbi Zecharia Gelley been improper. Maariv’s investigative reporter, Yoav Rabbi Yaakov Perlow , Khal Adas Jeshurun Yitzhak, also accused her of lying on her resume Rosh Hayeshiva, , Lakewood Novominsker Rebbe Rabbi Lipa Margulies about her academic credentials. Rabbi Yisroel Tzvi Neuman Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Feigelstock Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva & Mesifta Torah Temimah 11 Rosh Hayeshiva, Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood A number of the most effective critics of the Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva of Long Beach Rabbi Rabbi Dovid Tzvi Schustal branja come from similar backgrounds. Ben-Dror Rabbi Moshe Wolfson Chairman, Conference of Synagogue Rabbonim Rosh Hayeshiva, Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood Yemini, the op-ed editor of Maariv, is the grand- Mashgiach, Yeshiva Torah Vodaas of Agudath Israel son of a leading Yemenite chacham, and grew up Rabbi Aron Moshe Schechter Rabbi Yeruchem Olshin Rabbi Shlomo Mandel in ’s poor Hatikva quarter. Yoav Yitzhak, Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Chaim Berlin Rosh Hayeshiva, Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva of Maariv’s leading investigative reporter and the prin- Rabbi Yosef Rosenblum Rabbi Mattisyahu Salamon Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman cipal thorn in the side of the branja, is also Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Shaarei Yosher Mashgiach, Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood Rosh Hayeshiva, Mesivta Meor Yitzchok Yemenite.

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 15 The scion of a long line of Tunisian Buzagulo, any more than Elisheva In other words, the Attorney , he began his term in office by Barak would have been appointed to General’s job is not to enforce the law announcing that he is no rav – i.e., his the National Labor Court if she were but to impose proper standards. That job is to enforce the law, not to be a not married to Aharon Barak. But he is why the branja is so unrepentant moral arbiter for the country. He is also did not give himself the task of reform- over the long series of failed prose- the first Israeli Attorney General in near- ing all that reeks in Israeli public life. cutions of public figures. In its view, ly thirty years not to make a practice He would leave it to the voters to cre- the defendants deserved their public of attending every cabinet meeting. ate the unwritten norms and to enforce humiliation and huge legal fees for Mazuz is not such a naïf as to believe them in the traditional fashion: raising suspicions in the eyes of the that David Appel would have hired “Throw the bums out.” branja. Gilad Sharon if his name was The traditional elites showed no tol- Thus far Mazuz has been uncowed erance for Mazuz’s conception of the by his critics. He has completely shak- limits of his office. Retired Justice (and en up the old clique of female prose- former Attorney General) Yitzchak cutors that has dominated the State MASTER DAF Zamir charged Mazuz with having Attorney’s office for more than a • 4-5 blatt per tape opened the doors to bribery of pub- decade, and successfully pushed his • Each Daf is read, lic officials by focusing on the narrow candidate Eran Shendar as the new translated, and explained legal question of the sufficiency of the State Attorney. It was Shendar who slowly and clearly in just evidence against the Sharons, father wrote the original report highly crit- 20 minutes and son. And former Justice Minister ical of the wiretaps of politicians • $4 per tape (plus S&H) Prof. Amnon Rubinstein argued that conducted by Police Commander • Subscription rate: $3 per tape the Attorney General is not permitted Moshe Mizrahi.13 (plus S&H) to limit himself to the narrow ques- But Mazuz’s greatest service has 1-718-435-5438 • 1-800-966-6026 tion of whether or nor a crime was been to deprive the phrase “undermin- A project of the Slabodka Yeshiva committed, but must take into ing the rule of law” of its talismanic power account public norms.12 to delegitimize all critics of the Supreme Court or the government legal system. Now that the official who stands athwart the entire government legal sys- tem has raised fundamental issues about its operations, points out Maariv’s Amnon Dankner, it will never again be possible to accuse critics of “undermining the rule of law.”That, in turn, opens the way for Israel to more rpx fully realize its justified claim to being cegh ,uccus the only democracy in the Middle East. ■ NOW AVAILABLE IN SEFORIM STORES 12 MKs Yossi Sarid and Eitan Cabel did not even ON THE FOLLOWING ,u,fxn: bother to read Mazuz’s report before filing peti- tions in the Supreme Court against his decision. 'tne tcc 'ihaushe 'ihyhd ',ca ',ufrc 'ihkuj That lack of interest in the evidence is strange given ihrsvbx ',uguca 'ohrsb 'tghmn tcc that an indictment would have forced the resig- nation of a prime minister elected by a landslide. Each packed with ,ucua,u ,ukta that Then again, democracy is always viewed by the branja as something of a nuisance – a system in review the thryu tkea of the trnd in which the views of the great unwashed may carry greater weight than the elites’ enlightened opin- accordance with ,upxu, and hWar ions. That is why the branja always seeks to expand written in Hebrew. Volume the powers of the judiciary, the least democratic Discount branch of government. On orders 13 Mizrahi announced recently that his Criminal Recommended and used by ohfbjnv hkusd of 5 or more Investigations Department is giving the highest priority to the investigation of a complaint against as well as ohshnk, and oh,c hkgc for over 20 years. Shendar for his conduct as head of the Police Investigative Unit in the Justice Ministry in a probe of the Deputy Commander of the For more information please call D. Eisenberg (845) 356-4390 (718) 259-9472 Nahariya district.

16 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 “V’CHOL BANAYICH… AND ALL YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE STUDENTS OF HASHEM…” Mrs. Leah Steinberg

I. INTRODUCTION continued: “umorid hageshem – He completely receptive to his words, causes the rain to fall,” the rain fell. and who, nonetheless, would demand The “Alter’s” Approach… Thereupon Rav asked him: “What is from him a tremendous expenditure your occupation?”To which he replied: of energy if they were to understand n his classic work, Mezakeh “I teach the young, the sons of the poor and to progress as they should? Was it Harabbim (To Turn the Many to as well as those of the rich, and I take also necessary that he unceasingly pur- IRighteousness),1 Rabbi Yosef Yoizel nothing from those who are lacking in sue and encourage even the recalcitrant Hurwitz, the Alter of Novaradok, poses means. Also, I have some fish ponds and ones, confirmed in their obduracy?… questions regarding chinuch as spring- if a student is recalcitrant I bribe him Teaching the material is not boards for discussion and clarification, with fish, and accommodate him, and enough. It must be accompanied by bearing messages of guidance that speak conciliate him until he is won over to exertion and zealousness to correct to us, today. study” (Taanis 24a). whatever is in need of correction, as in He opens chapter eight with: “Are The Alter then comments: the instance of the teacher in Taanis, teachers obligated to closely scrutinize How great were that teacher’s who engaged in two activities – study- all of their young charges’ activities and deeds! Not only did he devote himself ing with those who aspired to learn, and to examine whatever they do with an eye to teaching the sons of the poor as well exerting himself to create permanent to help them improve?” He begins his as those of the rich, taking nothing in aspirants. response citing a Gemora: return from those of limited means, but Chapters nine and ten of this sefer Rav once came to a certain place and he exerted himself even further in all question (a) whether involvement in edu- decreed a fast, but no rain fell. When kinds of actions which would draw the cational efforts is incompatible with the prayer leader recited: “Mashiv hearts of the recalcitrant ones closer self-improvement, and (b) how knowl- haruach – He causes the wind to blow,” to Torah. For on the face of it, would edgeable one must be of his charges before however, the wind blew, and when he it not have been sufficient had he embarking on a teaching program. The expended all of his efforts on those who Alter addresses these two seemingly unre- Mrs. Steinberg,ofBrooklyn, NY, serves as Director of Agudath Israel’s Project L.E.A.R.N. desired to learn from him and who were lated questions with an incident record- Her article, “Meeting Every Child’s Needs – It’s 1All quotations are from Rabbi Shraga Silverstein’s ed in the Gemora (Eiruvin 54b): Up to All of Us,” was featured in JO,Apr. ’01. translation, published by Feldheim (1970). Rav Preida once had a certain

20 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 pupil who had to be taught a section current chinuch scene, it is unlikely that developmental in origin. Their caus- four hundred times before he under- teachers like Rav Preida, or like the one es can include genetic, prenatal, peri- stood it. One day, Rav Preida taught his who inspired the rains in Rav’s fast-day natal, postnatal, and central nervous lesson after being summoned to attend tefilla session, would have much oppor- system compromise. Generally speak- to a matter of mitzvah, and the pupil tunity to discover which children have ing, a learning disability is no one’s could not master it. Upon being asked special needs, and then would have the fault; it is a nisayon—a test – visited what the trouble was, the latter replied: time to pursue a program to meet these upon not only the child, but also the “From the time that the master was needs…. At least, that would have been entire family…. summoned to attend to a mitzvah, I the sorry assumption ten or fifteen years The effects of learning disabilities have not been able to concentrate, ago. As of late, however, significant on school performance and the acqui- thinking: Perhaps the master will go changes have been taking place in the sition of academic skills can be pro- now… Perhaps he will go now,” general educational scene in terms of found. Though, as neurological deficits Whereupon Rav Preida said:“Give me meeting the needs of children struggling go, learning disabilities tend to be your attention and I will teach you with individual challenges and difficul- extremely subtle and even mild, they again.” So saying, he taught him an ties in learning, and many of the bene- make normal learning in the traditional additional four hundred times, after fits of these changes are being realized manner almost impossible without which the pupil mastered his lesson. in the yeshiva system, as well. There are intervention in the form of adaptive Thereupon, a Heavenly voice went many more hurdles to be negotiated in learning techniques. [This can affect] forth to Rav Preida: “Would you the yeshiva world than in the public word decoding,… auditory and visu- rather that four hundred years be added school system, but these are gradually al discrimination,… and short-term to your life or that you and your gen- being overcome, and we hope for more and long-term memory… [among eration merit the World to Come?” progress in the future. other skills crucial to reading and cog- He answered: “I would rather that In the pages that follow, we will define nitive thinking]. I and my generation merit the World the nature of special education, present The most important effect of to Come.” At this, the Holy One some of the goals of an effective special learning disabilities, however, is not Blessed be He pronounced:“Give him educational program, enumerate the dif- academic. It is emotional and inter- both.” ficulties that must be overcome before personal. A learning-disabled child The Alter points out how self-nega- a child can benefit from such programs, will feel he is a failure, as though he tion and dedication to public service on and then make some general suggestions is to blame for the problem, even if the part of Rav Preida actually unlocked he is fortunate enough to have been extraordinary storehouses of spiritual II. WHAT IS SPECIAL EDUCATION? told that he is not, but especially if treasure for so many. Moreover, this others have told him that he is.His episode also dramatically shows how an pecial education is basically a mat- self-esteem is profoundly affected, effective rebbi puts no limits on how ter of applying well-honed teach- and he will prefer to suffer day after much effort he will expend to penetrate Sing skills to addressing specific needs day of academic bewilderment in the unyielding mind of a difficult stu- – needs which left unmet, make it dif- silence, rather than experience the dent. We must bear responsibility for all ficult or impossible for a child to shame of admitting,“I don’t under- children; this will prove to be to every- progress within his or her class. stand.”Without awareness of the true one’s benefit. In the words of Dr. Nathan nature of his problem, teachers and Solomon,2 a clinical psychologist who is parents cannot offer the support and … Speaking to Us Today expert in the field: understanding, the patience and The special needs that must be special attention that could carry he Alter of Novaradok did not addressed could be the result of emo- him through school and peer rela- present any chiddushim – no tional disturbance, mental retardation, tionships. Tinnovative or creative insights – physical handicap, or a situational dis- An effective special ed program, in his sefer.His lessons are obvious con- advantage such as a family dysfunction. then, cannot begin until the school clusions drawn from well-known sacred [Dealing with these types of problems identifies the children who require such texts. Yet, when he wrote his sefer close are often beyond the purview of the help, and determines how their needs to a century ago, he felt that it was essen- classroom and require treatment in a can best be met – in the framework of tial to spell out the urgency of includ- specialized setting. The learning dis- a special class, a part-time tutorial pro- ing all children in his mandate to be abilities that teachers do work with gram, or simply by special attention mezakeh harabbim.He,in effect, began effectively]… are physiological and within the conventional classroom a revolution of mass-scaled outreach. setting. The principal then enlists the 2 These comments are culled from Dr. Solomon’s By the same token, in the highly com- article, “Learning Disabilities: A Primer,” which cooperation of teachers and parents, petitive, crowded classrooms in the appeared in JO, April ’01. and the child’s special education pro-

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 21 ceeds. The more “mainstream” the read, yet her teacher doesn’t know it. She is lack of effort is not the norm, and that venue, the more positive the attitude able to keep up with the work because she something must be amiss. If the will to and self-image of the child. has a phenomenal memory. As she strug- learn has been thwarted, the educator’s gles to hide her horrible secret, her problems goal must be to find out why, and give When an Evaluation is Called For are compounded, since her teacher is con- the child a real chance. The first step, of stantly calling on her and finding her lack- course, is testing to determine the he alert and educated teacher or ing. Time and time again, her teacher nature of the problem. parent can often spot the child embarrasses her in the hope that Chany will There are children in our classrooms Thaving learning problems. finally learn her lesson and listen in class. who are suffering because their audito- Sometimes, however, the teacher may The only thing accomplished with this ry processing is not up to par, or they miss the signals that something is methodology is that we now have an angry, are dyslexic, or they have a form of wrong. nervous, disillusioned child. ADHD, which does or does not mani- Chany is a wonderful girl; however, she When children don’t do well in fest itself with negative behaviors, and never has her finger on the place. Chany can’t school, educators must remember that keeps these children from learning. The teacher in front of the class cannot be expected to figure out the exact rea- YomYom ToTovv ReliefRelief FundFund son each of these children seems lost. As soon as the school or parent realizes that Under the auspices of Rav Mattisyahu Solomon Shlita a child is not functioning as expected, an evaluation should be recommended. If this is done at the first sign of trou- ble, the child can get the support he needs as soon as possible, and have a fair chance MEAT STORE to remain in the mainstream environ- HelpHelp UsUs ment. This can help alleviate the horri- ble feeling of repeated failure, which FISH STORE frequently is the forerunner of behav- ior problems. Although waiting to see if the prob- HelpHelp lem will correct itself may work in some CLEANERS instances, there is much more to lose by testing too late than by testing too early. KAPAROS ThemThem Cooperation: A Two-Sided Protocol LULOV & ESROG f it is common knowledge that early intervention is the best cure, why are Iso many children left waiting until they are drowning before they get help? CLOTHING The reason, although simple, is very dif- ficult to correct. Schools are at a loss as how to break it to parents that their child is really not the genius they had SHOE STORE dreamed of, and parents do not want to Endorsed by lose a coveted placement in a prestigious yeshiva by telling the school that their child is anything less than perfect. Yet, Rabbi Malkiel Kotler Rabbi Yaakov Perlow Rabbi Shmuel Berenbaum both custodians of the child’s future – the parents and school – must accept the Rabbi Dovid Schustal Rabbi Yeruchim Olshin child as he (or she) is, and not close their Please send your tax-deductible donation payable to: Relief & Hatzolas Nefoshas Fund eyes to his (or her) specific needs. and send to RABBI MATISYAHU SOLOMON SHLITA A partnership of this sort between par- ents and school is not only beneficial, it 637 Sixth Street, Lakewood, New Jersey 08701 is truly vital to the success of the child

22 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 suffering learning difficulties. This of cooperation would go a long way toward means embarking on a joint effort. It does avoiding such a difficult stalemate. not mean that once the parents accept On the other hand, a parent who is the reality of the child’s status, and the an educator related the following story school accepts the child as one of its stu- about his experience in trying to forge dents, the parents can drop the whole a cooperative relationship with his burden in the principal’s already over- daughter’s school. As you will see, all the crowded lap. Although the school is there right steps were taken, but the plan of to teach every child, parents are obligated action fell apart anyway. to step in with appropriate assistance Rena has a math disability and revers- when anything out of the realm of nor- es her numbers. The parents and child are mal educational needs comes up. And doing everything possible to work on this, when a child’s behavior is disturbing the and have seen tremendous progress, but they class, the school is well within its rights still have a way to go. At the beginning of to ask the parents to join them in pro- the school year, the parents requested a meet- viding the necessary intervention. ing with the principal and teacher to make Schools are often reluctant to accept sure that nothing would happen to make a child with unusual needs because they Rena feel like a failure, which could under- are afraid that they will be left holding mine all her efforts. The parents where reas- the bag. If, at registration, the parents are sured that if an issue should arise, the teacher asked to sign an agreement with the would call them without hurting the child, school that their cooperation can be and the parents could then take the neces- counted on, both parties will be secure, sary steps to work things out. The first test and the child can be assured that the came, and everything fell apart. The teacher adults in his life will be there for him. returned the papers with red marks all over On the other hand, yeshivos may well them. To add insult to injury, “SEE ME” was exercise a policy of zero tolerance of lack written right across the coversheet. of parental cooperation. If all yeshivos The child came home devastated, and the enforced such standards, parents would parent was in a state of shock. What hap- have no choice but to cooperate, and the pened to the promise of cooperation? It end result would be better education for was as if the meeting had never happened! all our children. As one parent later said, “Don’t promise that A school director related the follow- you’ll work with me if you have no inten- ing to me: tion to.” With a bit of extra attention, this A child was acting up, and an evalua- child could succeed in a mainstream class. tion was requested to explore which meas- Teacher and parent must work together, and ures could facilitate the child’s functioning that means much more than lip service. better – even, if absolutely necessary, resort- ing to medication or employing a shadow.3 Seeking the Ideal Venue The parent refused, stating that it was the school’s responsibility to educate the child, f at all possible, the child’s needs and that she would never medicate her, no should be met within the context of matter which professional would tell her to Ihis or her classroom. Only after all do so. While a parent certainly has the right efforts are exhausted in the general edu- to question extreme steps, a signed statement cation system should a child be referred 3 This is a colloquial expression for various para- to a special education classroom. (If this professionals. A health paraprofessional is an indi- revolution of inclusion exists in the pub- vidual who accompanies the child with medical lic school system – and it does – how issues in the classroom and assists him with daily much more so should it exist in our living needs, such as feeding, ambulating, tran- yeshivos!) Our premise should be that sitioning from one activity to another, etc., to make it possible for the child to be educated in the least children who need supportive services restrictive environment. A management para- are no different than other children in professional is an individual who accompanies a their hopes and dreams for the future, child with behavior issues in the classroom to make and parents and educators must work it possible for the child to be educated in the least restrictive environment. together to help fulfill their dreams.

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 23 Unless we are dealing with limitations such cooperation, children who were fail- who could not afford supportive serv- that require special, long-term attention, ing have blossomed beyond anyone’s ices had few choices, and had to accept it is possible that they can be dealt with wildest expectation. Years ago, it would their lot. Today, things are different. If in the conventional mainstream class- have been most unlikely that in the con- a child is not succeeding in school, he room. As mentioned, this can be ventional yeshiva or Bais Yaakov class- can get a free evaluation and services achieved if a partnership is forged room, which can find one teacher from the DOE. Often, the DOE will rec- between parents and school, for, with responsible for 25 to 35 students, the spe- ommend that the child receive servic- cial needs of a disadvantaged child would es in a public school. If it can be proven, be met in the classroom. however, that such a plan would be edu- AN vmg Moreover, funding a supplementary cationally inappropriate, the child can from HAGAON RABBI remedial class or a self-contained spe- usually get the help he or she needs either YAAKOV KAMENETZKY k’’mz* cial ed program would be far beyond the in the school they are in, or in another financial resources of the average school. location from private providers paid for In addition to the vru,v sunhk and As of late, however, in New York City (the by the DOE…. The individual child’s ,ukhp, the we do on behalf of geographic area with which I am most needs can be met “at home,” or on vtupr those in need of a let’s familiar), the Department of Education friendly turf. daven to Hashem that cures be (DOE) has been making special educa- found for all the various ,ukjn affecting ktrah kkf. tion, one-on-one tutoring and many III. SOME RECOMMENDATIONS therapeutic services available in the “Hashem prepares a cure yeshivos under certain conditions. s our yeshivos are constantly before sending a disease (,fxn In the past, standard protocol dictated growing and seeking new meth- d”h vkhdn : ). Therefore a cure must that children who needed intervention ods to reach all children – in already exist in nature and is just A simply were not able to remain in our knowledge, skills, and hashkafa – the fol- waiting to be discovered.” system, and were sent to public school lowing recommendations could truly *Based on a thought brought down in “Reb Yaakov” for their special education needs to be help improve our system as a whole. (Mesorah Publications). met. When a child was failing, parents 1. Standardized testing can be utilized very effectively to identify which children are having problems in school. If a child scores below a satisfactory level, the par- ARE YOU MOVING? ent should be notified. After consulta- IS YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS PRINTED tion with the principal and guidance counselor, more testing may well be in INCORRECTLY ON THE JO MAILING LABEL? order – ideally, at the earliest stage pos- We need your help to ensure proper delivery of the Jewish Observer to your home. sible. Identifying the problem early Please attach current mailing label in the space below, or print clearly your address and very often nips it in the bud, and the computer processing numbers that are printed above your name on the address label. child’s self-worth does not have to suf- fer through repeated, reinforced failure in the interim. 2. Having an enrichment program Affix old label here running parallel to the resource room program4 will allow the child’s self-esteem to stay intact even though he is being pulled out of class. It is very important Name ______that, as a matter of policy, no remark New Address ______should be made regarding what type of session a child is attending. This will cer- City, ______tainly help protect these children from State, ______Zip ______being stigmatized. 3. Let us stress time and time again Date Effective ______that people are not judged on Yom Send address The Jewish Observer Kippur by their grades, but by their changes to: Change of Address 4 42 Broadway, 14th Floor, New York, NY 10004 A resource room is a setting for special educa- tion tutoring that addresses the skills that the child Please allow 4-6 weeks for all changes to be reflected on your mailing label. We will not is lacking to succeed in the mainstream envi- be responsible for back issues missed unless you notify us 6 weeks prior to your move. ronment.

24 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 middos.Recognition of acts of chessed results of the evaluation. it dangers that cannot be ignored. Many should be part of the school’s policy. Top professionals are aware that par- children with issues can and should be By the same token, being cruel should ents and child are attached at the heart- kept in mainstream schools, and not be dealt with harshly, and children strings, and they take parents’ insights referred out to a special class. Yet, our should know that a possibility of into their children seriously. The little classes are often too big, and even the expulsion exists if behavior is anything nuances that parents know about their most dedicated teachers are unable to less than what is expected from a ben child are extremely important – especially give children the attention they all so Torah or bas Yisroel.Often, children with when dealing with a child with special sorely need, let alone children who are issues are clumsy or display behaviors needs. Only when parents and school having difficulties. Strictly limiting that are a little different. They may be work as a team does the child have a our class sizes and making our teach- impaired in some areas, but they are chance at success. ing staffs aware of differences in learn- unimpaired in their ability to under- 6. The breakthrough of special edu- ing styles would go a long way toward stand that they are being ridiculed or cation programs is wonderful and long keeping marginally learning-disabled dealt with in a condescending fashion. overdue. It does, however, bring with children out of special education pro- Often, when these children erupt after months of abuse, they – the victims – get punished for their reaction, not the perpetrators. The justification for teas- ing is “Boys will be boys.” That response may be acceptable in the sec- ular world, but has no place in our Torah institutions. 4. Effort should be rewarded, not just brain capacity. How often do we see children give up because they feel that their grade simply doesn’t matter unless it hits that ever-elusive 100%? On the opposite end of the spectrum, many brilliant children do not reach their true potential because all that seems to matter is the mark, and they just about sleep through class and still win “the prize.”These children are also not taught the art of perseverance and concentration, which are the true benchmarks of learning. If effort were recognized as a respectable measuring rod for success, all children would gain – not only during the years that they spend behind the classroom desk, but as they grow into adulthood, as well, for they will have learned skills and atti- tudes they need to succeed. 5. Evaluations should be an avenue to help a child. Common sense dictates: evaluate the child and get him the sup- port he needs. But reality is not always consistent with common sense. Some parents are simply mortified when faced with the prospect of having an evaluation done. They are concerned that their child’s reputation will be irreparably damaged. They should be reassured that the school will be there to help them in accordance with the

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 25 grams. But due to financial consider- When All Else Has Failed class. Unless addressed properly, their ations, many of our schools do have sense of self-worth can be irreparably large classes, and many of the faculty hat happens when all else has damaged. The schools are working hard members are neither trained to recog- failed and a self-contained to offset any harm by including these nize learning disabilities nor equipped Wclass is the only option? children, who are often very talented, to work with them. It is up to the par- Some of our yeshivos have answered the in school presentations such as choir, ents, then, to provide the support for call, and have introduced self-contained dance, plays etc. a child with special needs if he is to suc- classes into their schools. Although edu- Parents also carry a responsibility to ceed. With everyone’s combined efforts, cationally this is a very sound solution, teach their own children that those kids special education programs could be the issue of the self-esteem of these chil- in “that class” are no different than they reserved for those children for whom dren is much more complicated. are, and should be treated as equals. In every effort has been expended to Learning-disabled children are often my experience, I can attest to the fact keep in the mainstream, and was very bright and perceptive. They are that many schools are accomplishing demonstrated to be unfeasible. fully aware that they are in a special their goals in emotional terms as well as by educational criteria. When asked where they go to school, the children hold their heads up and respond with Sefer “Chazaras Hashas” the names of the most respected By Rabbi Abraham Portal yeshivos.They feel – and are – full- fledged members of our community. This is the Sefer you have been waiting for! Mastering the daf: Now you will have the ability Instead of the embarrassment and It is unique. It will be of great help for everyone to know the Rambam, Shulchan Aruch and the shame these children could have been Me’eri on the tip of your fingers. This sefer will - Baalei Batim, Scholars, Yeshiva and Daf suffering, they are already a great Hayomi students. assist you to master each daf the gemara. We are hoping v’’ht to have all six Sedarim source of nachas for all involved. What benefits can I derive from this Sefer? Our community has come a long Before the Shiur: Preview the daf ahead of time. printed by the beginning of the next Machzor Knowing what it is all about before hand will of the Daf Hayomi - March 2005. Get your set way in truly integrating and educating help you to concentrate and understand fully as soon as possible. Supply is limited. the special education population. the gemara, and will enable you to participate This sefer has the Haskamos of Roshey Hopefully, total success is just around in class discussions. Hayeshivos and Torah Scholars throughout the the corner. ■ After the shiur: Review the psak halacha world. relevant to the daf. Repeat each halacha until On sale: sgun ohgrz rsx and ohab rsx each Editor’s Note: it is clear in your mind. rsx in two volumes - only $35.00 In her capacity as Director of Project Hameor Book Distributors Inc. L.E.A.R.N, Mrs. Steinberg assists parents Tel.# (718) 437-0054 Fax: (718) 437-3514 • Rabbi A. Portal (718) 544-6544 with a broad spectrum of special educa- tion issues that affects their children’s abil- ity to be educated within our community at large. This includes helping parents access DOE services to help their child remain in the mainstream environment, finding a mainstream school which could best address their child’s specific needs, locat- ing special education programs to address their child’s needs within the Orthodox community, and working on creating special programs to address specific needs within our community. The issues discussed in the above article have crossed her desk and should be addressed by the greater com- munity. KARKA IN ERETZ YISROEL Call Rabbi Gavriel Beer for information on obtaining cemetery plots in Beth Shemesh and other locations in Israel. 011-972-2-656-9427

26 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 “V’CHOL BANAYICH… AND ALL YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE STUDENTS OF HASHEM…” Rabbi Hal Klestzick

Many differences exist between the chal- no glory in the phrase “teenage rebellion,” eration, you must be in a state of shock lenges in the life of a child growing up today nor was that phrase seen in anything and awe, wondering how so much of the and those of the child who was being raised other than novels not often found in world has turned upside down so quick- forty years ago. Today, there are more fam- Torah homes? Do you remember when ly. One need not be a rocket scientist nor ilies where both parents are working outside “at risk” was a phrase for the insurance a mekubal to conclude with clarity that the home, more single-parent families, industry? Do you remember when they something in today’s parenting larger families, larger schools, fewer student used to say that children should not only approach differs greatly from the meso- openings, greater social competition for not ignore a parent’s request to help clear ra of our great-grandparents. wealth and opulence, more kosher eateries the table, but should clear it without One, of course, must be very careful – more kosher eateries open until two a.m. needing to be asked? Do you remember not to oversimplify and suggest that every- Years ago, a child who wished to commu- when there were no parenting courses, thing was always perfect and now every- nicate with someone, either looked him in and no workshops at conventions on the thing is completely awful. But we have the eye or had to use his parents’ land line. topic? Yet, most parents somehow man- no right to ignore some obvious truths. Today, inexpensive, readily available elec- aged to raise well-mannered, healthy and tronic communication, both voice and text, productive young adults, as did their par- through computers and cell phones, has cre- ents and grandparents. ated a social climate with challenges If you are a young parent, you unimaginable only two decades ago. Today, probably heard of those there seems to be no such thing as safe media times. If you are my age, or entertainment, neither electronic nor print. you may have some These are but a few of the differences. recollections of It must also be clearly stated that each your own. If and every child is unique and complex, as you are of is each and every parent. Not only is each my par- child different, but even the same child may ents’ react or be affected differently on two con- gen secutive days. It should therefore come as no surprise to see that within the thousands upon thousands of pages of halacha that reg- ulate every area of life, relatively little is said about the details of raising children. “Chanoch lanaar al pi darko – Educate the child in accordance with his ways” is about as specific as it gets. Obviously, we must, with the guidance of daas Torah, think and rethink each act as a parent. The following article seeks to identify what may be two of the most significant and under-reported differences between the culture of today and that of pre- vious generations.

THE WAY IT WAS… AND NO LONGER IS

o you remember when children were expected to love, admire, Drespect and even stand in awe of their parents – even after they turned fif- teen? Do you remember when there was Rabbi Klestzick is principal of the Rudin Torah Academy (K-8) which also includes Shaarei Torah and the Yeshiva of Virginia High Schools in Richmond, Va. This article is based on a pres- entation at a symposium on parenting at a recent National Convention of Agudath Israel of America.

28 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 We need to recognize that we have diate gratification, and superficial hap- tion of the 1960s sought to uproot the allowed a subversive culture to invade our piness. benefits and value of a healthy sense of homes and even our institutions. This The child then has no choice but to guilt from society, claiming it was bad dangerous set of modern-Western ideas conclude that he must be the most for the human personality, the con- promotes two main concepts which important thing, the central focus of life, temporary attempt to remove yira is no together form a powerfully attractive phi- even more important than his parents. less insidious. In an attempt to com- losophy running totally in conflict with After all, their life’s purpose is to make pletely undermine the virtue of respect Torah standards. him happy. He has got to be more impor- for “authority,”parents are being told that tant than they. This notion is readily their children should not fear them. FALLACY NUMBER ONE: accepted by the child, appealing to that Young parents are franticly searching to HAPPY INSTEAD OF GOOD egocentric side in everyone – the part that manage their children’s behavior and to wishes that one really were the center of be mechanech them without instilling he first is that the world ought to the universe. It is our responsibility to awe, lest the child grow up to resent be child-centered. Gone are the convey to our children that they are not “overwhelming parental oppression,”and Tdays when age, experience and the center of the universe, that their pur- rebel. What an awful miscalculation! wisdom were the prizes of life. Now, pose in life is to be ovdei Hashem – ser- Children need to see their parents in a youth and childhood are grabbing all the vants of G-d. This sense of purpose will position of control in order to feel secure attention. We have become obsessed with give real meaning to children and keep and become healthy adults. childhood. Beginning with infant fur- them from the emptiness that so many The sense of awe that I am speaking niture, toys and activities, we employ the experience, for a spiritual void is the of should find expression in a fear of kind of passion previously reserved for breeding ground for misery and rebel- violating the will of authority figures. life-and-death decisions to seek out the lion. That requires a child to recognize the very best and most stimulating educa- So, when you think you are witness- existence of authority, and to relate to tional materials, lest our child be the one ing rebellion in our youth, think again. it in a specific way. From a very early to lose that edge. Despite the fact that You are witnessing children who were age, the child must perceive that there there is no evidence that the youngster really tuned in to their parents’ message. are limitations to his or her impulses who learns to walk earlier as a child runs Why shouldn’t they be? It sounded good and actions. faster as an adult, many parents have to them. Then, when they become Every child is unique and each would “bought into” this pattern and feel intense teenagers and they find out that they are need different experiences to realize the guilt if they are not obsessing about their not quite as important as they had desired results. The younger the child, child’s activities. thought, they become depressed and the easier it is for him to establish a prop- While the Torah community neither angry at the world. er relationship with authority. When a promotes nor appreciates the “Soccer Sadly, this misplaced ordering of pri- father wants his son, let us say, to stop Mom” culture, we must remain on seri- orities leads neither to goodness nor to hitting a newborn sibling, a two or three- ous guard, lest it become attractive to us. happiness. Contrast today’s cultural year-old child may respond to the It may seem at first glance as an exam- climate with the concept of parents being severe tone of the father’s voice and the ple of good parenting – parents show- concerned primarily with the character disapproving look in his eyes. If a par- ing an interest in their children’s lives. of their children, with goodness rather ent waits until the child is seven to Don’t be fooled. It is a prime example than happiness. Children would not only demand that the child submit his will to of our generation’s focus on children’s be “better,” they would be happier. that of the authority, he will likely need happiness instead of their goodness. Being in line with their loftier parts, the more than just a deep voice and a seri- What message does today’s “good” par- tzellem Elokim, they feel more fulfilled, ous facial expression…. I don’t have to ent send to his child? He tells him not more successful… happier. Depression mention the results of waiting until the only how much he loves him, but also is not a symptom of teenage life, but of child is fifteen. how he is the most important thing in a life lacking goodness. And goodness A child’s respectful awe of parents is the world to him – that all he wants is requires dynamic parenting, practicing the prelude to his fear and awe of all for him to be happy. What a tragic mis- a chinuch filled with love and discipline. authority, eventually leading to dealing take! Instead of directing him toward the with the ultimate Authority – and ideals and virtues of a life of goodness FALLACY NUMBER TWO: achieving yiras Shamayim.This impor- (which, not coincidentally, is the only AFRAID OF FEELING AWE tant foundation interfaces with the love path that leads to real happiness), a life and closeness among family members exclusively devoted to reaching a level second destructive element of that all people crave. A parent who nur- where our will is totally in line with the today’s pop culture is the notion tures a respectful child will be able to will of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, too often, Athat yira – fear and awe of share with him the closest and most lov- we focus on the child’s pleasure, imme- authority – is a bad thing. The genera- ing relationship.

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 29 Parents who are struggling with child, or at least “not lose him alto- holic a drink in order to communicate rebellious teenagers may consult ther- gether,” they resort to a strategy that love, in hope of removing his need for apists who might understand the prob- works against their best interests. satisfying his addiction. These children’s lem and mean well, yet neither Worse yet, they often resolve not to let misplaced sense of entitlement, be it in understand our mesora in this area nor this happen to their younger children, the area of freedom, privacy or pursuit prescribe a workable solution. They and unwittingly create even more of happiness, is reinforced by their par- tend to posit that children rebel exclu- destructive conditions for them. ents’ attempts to show love and to sively because of lack of love demon- Showering love and affection on increase lines of communication. The strated by parents and/or poor someone who lacks respect for author- problem is that all the love in the world communication between parents and ity and who over-estimates the impor- will be insufficient, since, as the center children. Overwhelmed with a sense of tance of his own happiness – or of the universe, they feel they deserve guilt and incompetence, many parents overlooking the lack of minimum more. Their appetite for happiness is are all too eager to accept this theory respect due a parent in order to “reach insatiable. as fact. Desperate to “win back” their him” – is the equivalent of giving an alco- SENSIBLE, JUDICIOUS s”xc STRENGTH… AND LOVE

urther, some misguided experts suggest that rebellion invariably Fresults from strict parenting. Rebellion is neither caused nor exac- erbated by strict or strong parenting as long as it is reasonable and flows from the parents’ love for their child. Rebellion can be triggered by the child’s perception of parental weakness. Every child has a natural inclination

ESTABLISHED 1915 to push the limits of restriction. This comes from both a desire to feel “What gives us success in war? Please use my donation to: The spiritual fortresses of Torah.” •Help a young Choson- secure with the knowledge of the actu- Rabbi Yehoshuah ben Levi (Makos) Kallah get married! al limits, and a separate wish to ide- For thousands of years, the Torah has kept Am •Give a Torah scholar in ally remove all restrictions. The more Yisroel alive. need of surgery peace clear and less flexible the limits and Keep the learning of Torah alive. of mind! consequences are, the less is rebellion • Enliven the lives of a bred. The more a child perceives the Due to further severe reductions of up to 80% in To rah family with a Yom Israeli government subsidies, and Torah To v grant! authority to be weak, the more is rebel- families are turning to us with ever-increasing •Help provide a home lion fertilized. This has nothing to do requests for assistance. We cannot let them down. for a newlywed couple! with being open, communicative or Ezras Torah now more than ever needs your help. • Endow a Free Loan warm. Those elements must always be Become partners with Ezras Torah and send in Fund or Medical your generous contribution today! present. Emergency Fund! The ongoing trend to completely DEDICATED TO KEEPING TORAH ALIVE! undermine the beauty and value of DWDESIGNS 845-362-8227 ESTABLISHED 1915 Ezras Torah is a tzedokkah fund endorsed by Gedolei Hatorah authority fosters a continued weaken- ing of the parent. By confusing powerful I would like to help Ezras Torah's needy. and smart parenting with harsh and Yes! Enclosed is my tax deductible contribution for: ❏ $18 ❏ $36 ❏ $50 ❏ $100 ❏ $180 ❏ $250 ❏ $360 ❏ $500 ❏ $1,000 ❏ $______inconsistent parenting – or even worse, Method of payment: ❏ Check ❏ Visa ❏ M/C ❏ A/E Ac. #:______Exp. Date: ______with abuse – some “experts” fool us into Please contact me regarding establishing an Ezras Torah Endowment Fund for a: rejecting, even mocking, the strong par- ❏ Free Loan Fund ❏ Medical Emergency Fund ent. Remember, we are talking about Please send me an Ezras Torah Halachic Pocket Calendar & Guide, for the current year. (checked producing an effective parent, not, below, contributionenclosed) G-d forbid, an abusive one. ❏ ❏ ❏ Pocket-sized Hebrew Luach Pocket-sized English Luach Wall-sized Hebrew Luach After all, strong parenting is not Name Tel. ( ) mutually exclusive of warmth, love and Address City State Zip affection. To the contrary, it is an expres- Please make check payable to: Ezras Torah, 235 East Broadway, New York, NY 10002 • (212) 227-8960 JO sion of these attributes. Further, sensi-

30 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 ble, judicious strength can almost ed to grow into nachas-producing is ripe for effective chinuch. always be expressed with warmth. teens, and then adults, not into self-cen- The reason children do not grow into After all, love and warmth never water tered pleasure seekers? the people we want them to be is that down strength and power. Effective parenting must start with the world is upside down. Instead of In order to have the loving and suc- a dedicated parent. Parents must real- parents focusing on and feeling cessful relationship between a parent ize that they have an enormous respon- responsible for the goodness of their and child continue into the teenage sibility to engender within their children, they focus on and feel years, one must first, at a very young age, children a sense of awe for authority, responsible for their happiness. Instead develop a human being who has a starting with the child’s relationship to of children being afraid of their par- healthy relationship with his world. the parents, as well as an understand- ents, parents are afraid of their children Once this is done, friction is all but elim- ing of and commitment to goodness, – parents are afraid to be parents. If we inated, warmth and deep love can be (i.e., a higher purpose in life) – simply want to address the so-called “at risk” conveyed, and real family-wide happi- put, real yiras Shamayim. Once that is teen, perhaps we should take a closer ness is experienced. done, then you have a relationship that look at the “at risk” parent. ■ It is important to note that a parent must also realize the responsibility to develop within each child a healthy “can do” attitude – a belief engendered with- in the child that he can overcome chal- lenges. The most successful adults were children who, through the warm love and strong support from their par- ents, overcame the natural insecurities of childhood to achieve greatness. This is not at all in contradiction with the previous points. The resolu- tion to the apparent paradox is to be understood by recognizing that the development of ambition requires warm, loving and nurturing parents who truly believe in their child’s strengths and abilities and convey that to him. To turn that child into a healthy, productive and successful adult citizen requires embracing the virtue of seeking goodness over pleas- ure, as well as developing an awe of authority, starting with the fear of vio- lating the will of “the authority.” Clearly, the “love” aspect of this formula deserves a discussion of its own.1 It feels better just to talk about it. That’s why we’re here. Our staff is made up of REVIVING POSITIVE MEMORIES caring and sensitive individuals. Together, we can help you explore your options. We o you remember when parents can refer you to recognized professionals for counseling, legal advice or help in hoped that their children finding a safe environment. We can also Dwould follow the rules and put you in touch with some very special would be afraid that if they didn’t, they Rabbis. But in order for us to reach out to you, you must first reach out to us. would feel excluded from the joys of being part of the family? Do you Confidential Hotline 1.888.883.2323 remember when children were expect- (Toll Free)

1 718.337.3700 We refer the reader to the article by Rabbi Noach (NYC Area) Orlowek which follows, while the above article Do it for yourself. focuses on the discipline part of parenting. – The Do it for your children. Shalom Task Force is a 501(c)(3) charitable organization Editor

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 31 “V’CHOL BANAYICH… AND ALL YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE STUDENTS OF HASHEM…” Rabbi Noach Orlowek

Although I have never met Rabbi to be happy people. By contrast,“Don’t al, and I pray that I will not be Klestzick, I look forward to one day meet- worry, be happy,” or, “As long as it makes misunderstood. ing him, for as someone who is bringing you happy, dear…” – these are not Torah Torah to Jewish children, he deserves, and ideas. FEAR AND AWE receives, my utmost respect and support. We need to teach our children to I will disagree with some points he has appreciate the happiness that comes abbi Klestzick and I are in full made, but first I must strongly agree with from a correctly lived life – that there agreement that parents must Rabbi Klestzick on a vital point that is rarely is no Roccupy a position of authority. stressed. Some of his word choices, however, could be misinterpreted. He points out “GOOD” VERSUS “HAPPY” the need to instill fear and awe in a child. First of all, these words, abbi Klestzick under- although used interchangeably scores the impor- in the article, are not equivalent. Rtance of teaching Fear can be imposed from the out- children the difference side, while awe is a matter of inter- between happiness and nal recognition. I am not saying correctness: we do not that there is no room for fear in strive for happiness, raising children, but, today, as we strive for good- Rabbi Yoseif Shalom Elyashiv ness; happiness is a a”jyls1 pointed out, children are natural byprod- more independent; what worked in uct of that good- previous generations will not work ness. today; children will resist an effort to My Rebbi, impose on them rules based mostly on Rabbi Simcha fear. Eventually, this resistance almost Wasserman, always prevails, unless you succeed l”xz,com- in crushing your child. When we mented that seek to instill fear in children the Era of the today, we are sowing the Moshiach will seeds of eventual revolt, be character- a revolt that, as stated, ized by Avoiding usually succeeds. mankind’s lead- Awe, on the other ing a correct life, hand, is a good thing, not just a happy the Risks of but it requires long and life. If the Era of hard effort for a person Moshiach were to become perceived as merely a happy someone worthy of time, Mori V’Rabbi Unthinking awe.Today,many peo- said, then the Torah ple want to take the would not place such short route in solving a strong obligation on Parenting their problems.2 I often hoping for that time’s arrival. meet people, when I am on The idea can be expressed as fol- my way somewhere, who lows: happiness is not a goal – it’s an 1 asset. In order to accomplish what one greater “Olam Hazeh,” this-worldly See Sefer Hilchos Melamdim, page 273 must in life, and in order to be able to pleasure, than the taste of satisfaction 2 The idea that we must be willing to take the long access the energy needed in order to say that comes from a well-used day. route in establishing a healthy home with healthy relationships is alluded to in the verse “Ve’lo nacham “No” to our baser inclinations, we need There are, however, some hard issues Elokim derech eretz Pelishtim ki karov hu”(Shemos where I feel that Rabbi Klestzick’s arti- 13, 17) – Hashem did not take the route to Cannan Rabbi Orlowek is a Mashgiach in Yeshivas Torah cle falls short, either in content or in through the land of the Philistines because it was Ore, Jerusalem, and is the author of My Child My making certain that issues are clearly the short route. We see that shortness of a route is a detriment. We must be willing to invest and Disciple, My Disciple My Child,and Raising Roses expressed. It is truly a fearsome mat- Among the Thorns.He is a frequent contributor be patient if we are to see meaningful results in to these pages. ter to write an article for public perus- the areas of life that matter the most.

34 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 say to me,“I have a quick question,”and A QUICK ROUTE TO INSTILL FEAR be effective, especially with young chil- proceed to ask for guidance regarding – DYNAMICS OF AN ADDICTION dren. That is, the parent will get the their child. I generally refuse to answer desired effect:GittyGitty obedience. A shout, questions in this venue. The mere fact av Yisroel Salanter l”xz is quoted maybe a “potch,” and things will be “all that people actually are willing to ask as saying that not everything right.”This is the seed for repeating the about their child’s needs in such a man- Rthat a person thinks should he say, pattern ofPinterPinter anger, shouting, and punish- ner bodes poorly for their children. not everything that a person says should ment, until it becomes ingrained. A sim- Often the queries are not thought out he write, and not everything that a per- ple analogy,Experienced I believe, willShadchan make matters properly, and a few judicious probes on son commits to writing should he pub- clearer. for all age groups my part reveal this. In my opinion, most lish. When people read about instilling Thefor the attraction Orthodox Jewishof drugs community. used to questions about a child are “pikuach fear in children, many will take the short induceRabbinical a “happy” references state is availablethat they are: nefesh”– a life-and-death situation route – that is, by expressing anger (1) fast-acting, (2) easy, and (3) have a (non-halachically) – and deserve time through shouting and punishment. The totalHome: effect. (718) 338-1765 and thought. results, in the short-term, are likely to TherePager: is no (917) question 486-5655 that something

RULES AND LIMITS

abbi Klestzick declares that chil- dren need to have “parents in a Rposition of control.”An example of the danger of making such a statement is that parents can take this phrase to heart and proceed with vigor to accom- plish this, without taking the time to truly understand that this must be approached in a very careful and gen- tle manner.3 The reality is that children certainly need rules and limits, and this is increas- lìê=ÅçìêëÉ=áë=í~ìÖÜí=Äó=ÉñéÉêáÉåÅÉÇ ingly hard to achieve in a world where jÉÅÜ~åÅÜáã=~åÇ=éêáåÅáé~äëK=iÉÅíìêÉêë=áåÅäìÇÉ limits are considered “undesirable.”It fol- Rabbi Yoel Kramer lows that these limits should be set with a lot of thought, coupled with a sincere, Providing Rabbi Hillel Mandel long-term investment of love and atten- quality tiveness.4 i~ëí=óÉ~ê Mr. Avi Shulman

3 The Chofetz Chaim, at the end of Hilchos Lashon teacher ïÉ=ëìÅÅÉëëÑìääó ~åÇ=çíÜÉê=äÉ~ÇáåÖ=jÉÅÜ~åÅÜáãK Hara, Klal 8, says that parents must talk to their íê~áåÉÇ=çîÉê=NMM children about guarding their tongues in a soft training qçéáÅë=ÅçîÉêÉÇ=áåÅäìÇÉ o~ÄÄçåáã=~åÇ manner, and only in a soft manner. This, even in and Åä~ëëêççã=ã~å~ÖÉãÉåíI the “good old days” that Rabbi Klestzick is refer- vìåÖÉäÉáí=áå=çìê ring to. éê~ÅíáÅìãI=ÇáëÅáéäáåÉI=ãÉíÜçÇçäçÖóI= in service 4 The Alter of Kelm (Rabbi Simcha Zissel Broyde) _êççâäóåI=nìÉÉåë é~êÉåí=êÉä~íáçåëI=ÅÜáäÇ=ÇÉîÉäçéãÉåí= said (Chachma UMussar, maamar 225) that in ~åÇ=i~âÉïççÇ order for a child to love his parents, he needs to programs ~åÇ=çíÜÉê=ÉÇìÅ~íáçå~ä=íçéáÅëK know two things about them: 1. They know more éêçÖê~ãëK than he does, and 2. the directives that they give for two `ä~ëëÉë=ÄÉÖáå=~ÑíÉê=pìÅÅçë= are for the child’s benefit, not their own. Thus, the expression “love and attentiveness,”for these decades áå=jÉëáîí~=qçê~Ü=sçÇ~~íÜ words convey the concept that the child needs to be – and feel – understood and cared for; then the gçáå=íÜÉ=ÜìåÇêÉÇë=çÑ=ãÉÅÜ~åÅÜáã=ïÜç=ÅêÉÇáí=íÜÉáê advice or rules that the parents provide stand a o~ÄÄá= ëìÅÅÉëë=íç=íÜÉ=íê~áåáåÖ=êÉÅÉáîÉÇ=áå=çìê=éêçÖê~ãK far better chance of being observed. If you are atten- vçÉä=hê~ãÉê tive to your child, if you spend time with bÇìÅ~íáçå~ä=aáêÉÅíçê cçê=áåÑçêã~íáçå=~åÇ=êÉÖáëíê~íáçå= him/her, mostly listening, then even if you don’t éäÉ~ëÉ=Å~ää=o~ÄÄá=vÉÜìÇ~Ü=oìéé know more than the child in any given area, the o~ÄÄá= child will feel that you understand him (or her) `Ü~áã=tÉáå TNUKQPSKTOTO and want to understand him,which means that aáêÉÅíçê

the child will fill you in as to where he is. And your 845-352-1266 YNAGRAFIK rules are more likely to be obeyed. D

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 35 that is easy, quick and total in its our world is not even slightly under our challenges of our generation.5 impact will be used again. And again. The control. Our challenges today are dif- Despite the fact that many people same is true of anger and shouting– it’s ferent, and so must our solutions be dif- want a quick answer to their problems, quick, easy and brings total compliance. ferent. While the age-old principles of this is not to say that they are not inter- It will certainly become a way of life in Torah remain totally relevant, their ested in doing difficult things for their that household – with tragic effects. The application needs to be in tune with cur- children. For the past decade, I have tra- home will not be a secure, happy place, rent realities. Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky versed the world several times, and have and while the parents will be feared and l”xz said that the mitzvah of teaching seen very many Jewish communities, (temporarily) obeyed, they will not be Torah is achieved not (as with other both large and small; the intense desire respected. Certainly the child will mitzvos) in the process (as there is a spe- that parents have to help their children choose not to follow their path in life. cific formula for how we do a mitzvah, grow up to be both good people and While Rabbi Klestzick is correct in such as blowing the shofar or eating good Jews is truly amazing. There is no stating that parents need to be in con- matzah), but rather in the result. If our question that Hashem will reward their trol, there is a short step for people to students, and children, end up developing efforts and respond to their prayers. ■ interpret this as being controlling, and this a love for Torah, a feeling that they belong almost always, in my experience, back- in a Torah world, and a sense of pride 5 See Pachad Yitzchok, Chanuka, 8:6-10, that a wise fires. in being a Torah Jew, then we’ve been suc- man is greater than a prophet in that the prophet cessful in our efforts. If not, then no mat- can tell you what Hashem says, but a wise man can TODAY’S WORLD ter how “well educated” our children will tell you what Hashem would have said; that is, even when Hashem is silent, the wise man can infer what be, even in Torah knowledge, we will have He would have said. So, too, can a devoted stu- ven if we accept Rabbi Klestzick’s failed. Certainly we need a mesora,a tra- dent surmise what his rebbi would have said. near-idyllic description of the dition, but we need to be such good stu- Rabbi Avrohom Yaffen l”xz of Bais Yoseif world forty years ago (I remem- dents of our teachers, zichronam Novaradok is quoted as having explained the Chazal, E “Im shamata beyashan tishma bechadash”(Berachos ber it differently), the reality is that we livracha, that we are able to assess what 40a) as meaning that if you heard how your rebbi live in different times – and we cannot they would have said today, and to proj- reacted to his generation’s trials, then you will know turn the clock back, when so much of ect how they would have reacted to the how to react to today’s newer trials.

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36 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 RUMINATIONS AND REFLECTIONS Eytan Kobre

ell, it’s official – religious Jews are certifiably insane. WOf course, many readers of The New York Times have known this for a long time, having been treated regu- larly to such momentous news items as the Times’perennial fall-time photos of And How They Jewish legal rulings requir- the kaparos ritual being performed in one ing the destruction of or another religious Jewish enclave. Last Got Us Covered accessories to idolatry. year’s picture, for example, captioned The bonfire on “Ready for Atonement,” featured a Williamsburg’s Lee Jerusalem man swinging a hen over his seems, on the heads of Indian women, Avenue wasn’t the sweet-faced little daughter. The accom- who shave their locks and offer them up only thing gener- panying text authoritatively averred as part of a Hindu religious rite. Such ori- ating heat in the that the ritual “expresses a recognition gins, if confirmed, might well render the article, however; of one’s sins before they are transferred wigs impermissible for use, due to the writer’s over- to the hen.” ’s strong abhorrence of any- heated prose was put to So there we have it. No matter that thing connected to idolatrous beliefs and use in his own little roasting effort. Thus, that Orthodox doctor neighbor of yours practices, in this instance of the Hindu we are told that the gathering – seems intelligent and well-adjusted; the polytheistic variety. described as a “demonstration” – was the fact is, he secretly believes in and prac- result of an “emotional upheaval” that tices the old transfer-the-sins-to-the-hen The Flames of Zealous Demonstration “spilled into the streets.” The reporter trick. Perhaps even more outrageous, he notes that people in the crowd said the apparently believes that cherubic four- o be fair, the Times, like The Wall gathering “was not intended to provoke year-olds have “sins” in desperate need Street Journal,often reserves some violence,” an observation that he pre- of such transferal. We’re talking weird Tfront-page space for human sumably would not have seen fit to make stuff, man. interest stories showcasing the quirky and were he reporting on a weenie cook-off But, for the edification of those read- offbeat, which the still-unfolding shei- on the Great Lawn in Central Park. ers who don’t often venture past the first tel saga certainly is. But then again, given And, for the benefit of the more section into the local coverage pages, the the Times’record of portraying the reli- obtuse reader who might not have paper of record has recently seen fit to run gious Jewish world to its readership grasped the ever-so-subtle atmospher- a Page One story on a tempest now through pictures of swinging hens and ic portrait being painted, the piece goes swirling in Orthodox communities over tales of talking fish (another Times front on to note that, in fact, “the demon- the wearing of women’s wigs (by women, pager in March 2003), inhabitants of that stration was not without incident,”but mind you). Nestled among coverage of world might understandably not be included “pushing and shoving” and the the chaotic violence in Iraq, the shifting inclined to give the paper the benefit of detention by police of a man who “dart- trends of the ’04 presidential campaign the doubt. ed inside the ring of people to throw yet and sundry other reportage of interna- The Times itself, however, removed any another wig on the fire…” Jeepers! I tional and national import, is a piece such doubts fair-minded folks might have mean, first the Crips and the Bloods in detailing the uncertainties that have had when, only days later, it saw fit to run our schoolyards, then gangsta rapper arisen regarding the Jewish legal status of yet another sixteen paragraphs on the wig rubouts on the street, and now this? What such hairpieces, known colloquially as shei- story, accompanied this time by two pho- in tarnation is Brooklyn coming to? tels.Many of the sheitels worn by Jewishly tographs. The editors were clearly in a no- No Times coverage of religious Jews observant married women originate, it more-Mr.-Nice-Guy mood, since, this is complete, of course, without a howler time, it chose to focus the attention of – that is, some belly laugh-inducing gaffe Eytan Kobre,ofBayswater, NY, is an attorney in its readership on a public wig burning that reveals this ostensibly most sophis- private practice and frequent contributor to Anglo- Jewish publications – most recently in these pages, that occurred in Williamsburg, ticated of publications in all its breath- “Drawing Lines in the Sky” (Sept. ’01). Brooklyn, in keeping with millennia-old taking ignorance of things Jewish. We are

52 The Jewish Observer, September 2004 speaking, after all, of the paper that is The Times’ Jewish Problem They (Gasp!) Really Care! said to have once, in all seriousness, deemed it “fit to print” that Orthodox here are, it would seem, two hat so unsettles the Times Jewish men shave with rams’ horns. ways to interpret this rather about wig burnings may be And so, not to disappoint, the copy Texcessive magnification of the Wthe very idea that these peo- beneath one of the Times’wig burning miniscule. One is that the Times lavish- ple believe in something deeply enough pictures, captioned “Wigs Burn in es this sort of attention on groups that to want to burn something over it. Such Brooklyn Streets,” tells of “leaders in it admires or that it believes its readers’ passion, so the contemporary credo Jerusalem [who] denounced wigs” made inquiring minds want to know about. goes, is acceptable, even virtuous, when of Indian hair. Now, working with the The other – offered here at the risk of limited to things far removed from one’s Webster’s definition of “denounce” as “to practicing psychotherapy without a personal life, such as politics, the arts pronounce blameworthy or evil,” that valid New York State license – is that the and sports. To assert, however, that term might tend to conjure up images paper exhibits an almost clinically iden- seemingly abstract concepts like G-d and of angry-faced clerics blaming those tifiable fixation, one that Mr. Sulzberger His will exert an impact on life’s myr- nefarious wigs within the Jews’ midst for and his editorial board are almost sure- iad quotidian details, that things truly all their troubles; it’s difficult, however, ly not fully aware of, if at all. It is a not- do matter – and to unabashedly, exul- to see how it relates to the dispassion- altogether-healthy fascination that has tantly live by that belief – is, for many ate legal ruling of a gentle Jerusalem its roots in the paper’s long-standing moderns, insufferable. scholar. Put another way: Tories Jewish Problem, a complex mix of vis- The Times piece on copepods in the denounce Whigs? Happened all the time ceral embarrassment, animus and stan- drinking water is a similar case in point. in the 18th century. Rabbis denounce dard liberal anti-religious bias that has It’s not that such tiny creatures cannot wigs? Not likely. Then again, if the Times surfaced in varied ways. possibly matter at all. Indeed, the arti- version of Jewish religious reality is pop- In an earlier era, the paper’s des- cle quotes an academic whose career is ulated by the likes of hell-bound hens perate flight from Jewish identity devoted to studying the migratory and garrulous guppies, perhaps heinous resulted in true travesties large and patterns of copepods, and one can eas- hairpieces aren’t so far-fetched an idea small, from its inexplicable – and fee- ily imagine a Science Times feature high- after all. bly regretted – failure to adequately lighting the grants and accolades he has report and speak out on the decima- garnered for his abstruse research. The Water Next Time tion of European Jewry to its opposi- But, somehow, for the ingestion of the tion to Jewish Supreme Court minute copepod to be of spiritual sig- hen, about a week ago, and just appointees and the use of initials for nificance is disturbing to some con- when religious Jews thought it its journalists with Jewish-sounding temporary minds. Twas safe to venture out to the names. But times have changed and so Meaning in life, it seems, is a good newsstand, the Times weighed in with has the Times, and now whatever bias- thing, so long as it doesn’t become too yet another front-page “expose,” this es exist are oftentimes of such gossamer meaningful, or, alternatively, we are time reporting on the recent tumult that subtlety as to be ultimately unprovable, given free reign to “create our own ensued within local Orthodox com- and it is left to the sensitive reader to meaning,”as the contemporary mantra munities after it was revealed that the discern whether they exist at all. Only has it. When, however, meaning New York City water supply contains a in regard to Israel, which is a subject becomes a Divinely determined notion, form of zooplankton, known as cope- on which veiled anti-Semitism is yet and one that permeates every last pods, whose ingestion is forbidden by respectable – the world’s proxy Jew, as aspect of human life, it begins to be seen Jewish law. it were – does some of the Times’ ugli- as too much of a good thing. The Assuming the Times’ latest spate of er sentiment begin to emerge. thought that everything we do matters hyper-coverage has subsided, we can now In its coverage of religious Jews, the and, in particular, to Whom it matters, tally the numbers. The paper expended composite portrait that emerges over can be, at once, exhilarating yet pro- three prominently situated articles, time is one of communities and indi- foundly disquieting. In his well-known totaling many thousands of words, viduals who are, by turns, comically work Man’s Search for Meaning, the psy- along with a number of photos, on a pair pedantic and faintly threatening. Above chotherapist Viktor Frankl posited the of arcane, albeit intriguing, religious con- all, they are guilty both of being unself- discovery of meaning as an essential troversies that are of sole concern to a consciously out of step with moderni- human need. Yet, as Rabbi Motty subgroup that comprises 10-20% of ty and of taking life too seriously, two Berger (of Aish HaTorah fame) American Jewry, itself less than 3% of unpardonable sins in a Western liberal observed, modern man is embarked on the overall American population. Don’t canon that preaches pluralism and an equally urgent quest that could well even ask what percentage of the world’s intellectual breadth but practices precious be called Man’s Search for human beings that represents. little of either. Meaninglessness. ■

The Jewish Observer, September 2004 53 COME , HEAR AND TAKE ACTION , THINK , DEBATE ! ...

CONVENTION ND HIGHLIGHTS

■ A ruach-filled Shabbos graced by thethe presencepresence of of Gedolei Torah ■ inspiringinspiring ohjt ,ca — ,ca khk Agudath Israel of America ■ Weekday vehrntc ktrah ,sudt symposia confronting the major THEME: issuesissues ofof ohngv ihc ktrah the hour Living Among the Nations A Part of the World,Apart from the World ■ Divrei Torah from leading rabbonim, DATE roshei yeshiva, and rebbeim THURSDAY THROUGH SUNDAY NOV. 25-28, 2004 v’’xa, ukxf u"y-c"h ■ Festive Melave LOCATION Malka THE STAMFORD WESTIN HOTEL STAMFORD, CT ■ Roundtable discussion groups RESERVATION INFORMATION ■ Shiurim on Daf Yomi, Parsha and other topics Parsha and other topics CALL THE AGUDATH ISRAEL OF AMERICA ■ Special women’s program CONVENTION DESK: 212-797-7380 RESERVE YOUR ROOM TODAY! TO BE PART OF AN UNFORGETTABLE 4-DAYEXPERIENCE To ensure your participation in this year’s Convention, call NOW to reserve your room. Due to limited accommodations, we can only guarantee reservations on a first-come, first-served basis.