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Stop Surviving and Start Living RRabbiabbi BBenen TTzionzion SShafierhafier typesetting & design by DESIGN TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 1 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:02:28:02:28 PPMM ISBN 978-1-58330-326-9 Copyright © 2010 by Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier & The Shmuz All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be translated, reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, re- cording or otherwise, without prior permission in writing from the publisher and author. distributed by: Feldheim Publishers Nanuet, NY Printed in The United States of America Typesetting & Design by: Sonnshine Design 732-573-4168 Email [email protected] Cover Design by: Raizel Grossman GroGraphics Inc. 845-290-0080 Email [email protected] Editing by: Kressel Housman 845-371-0176 2 The Shmuz On Life TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 2 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:02:52:02:52 PPMM THE KORNGOLD FAMILY EDITION This book is dedicated to our precious children, Shmuel Zev, Dovid Eliezer and Yosef Meir, שיחשיחיי It is our hope that the message in this book will inspire you to walk in the ways of Hashem and become a source of nachas to Klal Yisrael. In the zechus of our involvement with this project, may you be blessed with Yiras Shamayim, long life, health and the courage and clarity of mind to truly live Torah. May you merit seeing generations of your own children going in the ways of Hashem. Your Loving Parents TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 3 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:02:52:02:52 PPMM In loving memory of our grandparents, who were survivors of the Holocaust. If not for them, we would not be who we are today. We hope to continue to give to our children what they have given to us. יהיהיי זכרזכרוו ברוברוךך אלתא לאה בת אורי צבי הכהן ע״ה עזריאל בן יצחק שמואל ע״ה חיים בן אליעזר ע״ה גאלדא בת מתתיהו ע״ה שרה בתיה בת ניסן ע״ה ירוחם פישל בן משה חיים ע״ה Matis & Ronit Blisko TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 4 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:02:54:02:54 PPMM Haskamah 5 TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 5 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:02:55:02:55 PPMM “ 2018 Upland Way Home: 215-473-2798 Philadelphia, PA 19131 Study: 215-473-1212 October 5, 2010 Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier 10 Mariner Way Monsey, NY 10952 Dear Rabbi Shafier, Thank you for sending your manuscript, the “Shmuz on Life - Stop Surviving and Start Living.” It is enjoyable reading and clearly and easily understandable. May it benefit the entire . My sincere to you is that your forthcoming book will fulfill your wish to help find true meaning and happiness in their lives. May you be blessed with in all your endeavors. 6 The Shmuz On Life TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 6 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:02:57:02:57 PPMM Haskamah 7 TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 7 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:02:59:02:59 PPMM 8 The Shmuz On Life TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 8 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:03:00:03:00 PPMM Acknowledgements PREFACE “ Chazal tell us that there is no comparison between a sin- gle person doing a mitzvah, and a multitude doing a mitzvah. A community working together is elevated into a tzibbur, and their impact is of a different order of magnitude. In that vein, it is most heartening to be part of a tzibbur that gives its time, energy, and talent to promote the Shmuz. From the professionals who work pro bono, to the volunteers who distribute the CDs and Parashah Sheets, and the many, many others who each make a unique contribution, it is a real grass roots effort, and without them the Shmuz could never have reached the level of success it now enjoys. To them I say yasher koach, and thank you. There are, however, a number of people who stand out for their contribution, and deserve to be acknowledged individu- ally. They are Michael and Gavriel Abrams from Queens who are the inspiration, energy and backing of the entire CD dis- Acknowledgements 9 TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 9 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:03:00:03:00 PPMM tribution program, Chezky Eider for conceiving, marketing and driving the Lakewood Shmuz and for the energy that he infuses into the Shmuz.com, and Chanan Gordon from L.A., for all that he does. Much of what happens behind the scenes goes unno- ticed, but if things proceed smoothly, it is because of two individuals: Mrs. Zweig who does an outstanding job at single-handedly running the Shmuz office, and Shaul Hen, our webmaster, who does a fantastic job of maintaining the site. The “Shmuz Live” in each location starts with one or two motivated individuals who say, “I will make it happen,” and it does. For that, I would like to thank: Yisrael Schwartz, Jeff Katz, Akiva Bookman and Moshe Miller, who spearhead the Baltimore Shmuz; Yehuda Frager for his efforts to take the Shmuz to the next level; David Markowitz and Zvi Ginsberg for bringing the Shmuz to Teaneck/Bergenfield; and, finally to Alex Levy for making things happen and Rabbi Singer and Rabbi Bodenheim of Passaic Institute of Torah for their sup- port — the Passaic Shmuz owes them a deep debt of grati- tude. In regards to the content of this work, I am indebted first and foremost to my rebbe, the Rosh Yeshiva, R’ Alter Hanoch Leibowitz, zt”l. It is his derech ha-limud and his approach to mussar and to life that you see in these pages. My deepest thanks to R’ Davidowitz, Rosh Yeshiva of the Rochester Yeshi- va, for his wisdom, guidance and direction during my forma- tive years when many of these concepts were taking shape. Also to R’ Yisrael Rakowsky, Rosh Yeshiva of Ohr Somayach, Monsey, for taking the time to read through and offer his di- rection; and to R’ Shalom Kamenetsky, Rosh Yeshiva of the Philadelphia Yeshiva, for generously giving of his time to read through and comment. And to R’ Tzvi Berkowitz, Rosh Yeshi- va of Ner Israel, for his insightful guidance and direction. 10 The Shmuz On Life TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 1010 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:03:00:03:00 PPMM In regards to the presentation of the material in this book, I owe a debt of gratitude to my editor, Mrs. Kressel Housman. The text that you see in front of you is vastly improved be- cause of her passion and talent for expressing things in the most effective manner. To Mrs. Raizel Grossman, who does almost all of the Shmuz artwork, for her magnificent cover — it is a work of art befitting both her talent and the book that it adorns. To Shaya Sonnenschein of Sonnshine Design for his expertise and attention to detail that he put in to mak- ing the layout of this book as user-friendly as it is. To Chaim Zipper who put together the Shmuz index by chapter. And to Moishe Grossman — both he and Feldheim Publishers have been good friends of the Shmuz. Special thanks to Mrs. Yael Miller from Miller Design for her help with the title and message of the book cover. Finally, on the home front, I would like to thank my daughter Sara Leah for her skillful read-through and the cor- rections that she offered, and my younger children for toler- ating Abba’s strange schedule. More than anyone, the per- son deserving recognition and thanks is my life’s partner, my wife. It is her tireless devotion to me and the mission that the Rosh Yeshiva, zt”l, set forth for me that allows it all to happen. Acknowledgements 11 TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 1111 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:03:00:03:00 PPMM 12 The Shmuz On Life TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 1212 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:03:00:03:00 PPMM Table Of Contents FOR MORE ABOUT THIS PAGE CHAPTER LISTEN TO: 15 Chapter 1 | Introduction SHMUZ #23 & #45 25 Chapter 2 | The Foundation Of It All SHMUZ #116, #14, 39 Chapter 3 | Immutable Laws Of Nature SHMUZ #4 41 Chapter 4 | Appreciating This World SHMUZ #4, #148 53 Chapter 5 | More Money Equals More Happiness SHMUZ #5, #36 63 Chapter 6 | The Pursuit Of Pleasure SHMUZ #97 75 Chapter 7 | Let Us Make Man SHMUZ #24 87 Chapter 8 | Understanding Life Settings SHMUZ #24 101 Chapter 9 | The Gym And The Spa SHMUZ #16 109 Chapter 10 | The Animal Soul SHMUZ #13, #103 127 Chapter 11 | The Princess And The Peasant SHMUZ #13 141 Chapter 12 | Travel Brochures & The World To Come SHMUZ #91 155 Chapter 13 | The World Of Peter Pan SHMUZ #135 167 Chapter 14 | Hello, This Is My Funeral SHMUZ #23 173 Chapter 15 | WYSIWYG SHMUZ #23 189 Chapter 16 | Two Worlds, One Chance SHMUZ #16 201 Where Do We Go From Here? 203 TheShmuz.com Catalog Table Of Contents 13 TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 1313 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:03:00:03:00 PPMM 14 The Shmuz On Life TThehe SShmuzhmuz OOnn LLifeife BBook.inddook.indd 1414 111/9/20101/9/2010 55:03:01:03:01 PPMM Introduction CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER I get a chance to speak in different communities, and from time to time I get reactions that are… well… let’s say a bit interesting.