Intimate Partner Violence Through The Eyes Of A Child

Sue Michalski RN, MS, SANE Practical Applications, Inc. 3270 South 74th street Omaha, NE 68124 [email protected] Office: (402) 393-4166 Cell: (402) 290-6887

Why You Are So Important •Over 50% IP victims live with kids under 12 years •30-60% overlap between child , animal abuse, IPV •$4.1 billion direct medical-mental health care •$9 billion in lost work productivity

•Females age 16-24 experience the most physical assault

•1:5 females, 1:71 males raped in their lifetime

•1:6 females, 1:19 males will experience

•Many victims (child and adult) will never disclose

•Victims minimize to maximize their survival potential

•Treat every IPV victim-child as a potential homicide

1 It is estimated 3 Million children witness violence in their homes every year. Wiemann, Berenson, Pediatric Adolescent Medicine 1997.

Generational family violence • • Child • -aggressive behavior • Teen • Intimate partner abuse-violence • Workplace violence • Vulnerable adult abuse • IP violence in later life

Methodic Isolation Is A Systematic Disconnect That Creates Traumatic Bonding

• Intentionally created vulnerabilities • Strong emotional ties even if episodes are sporadic • Re-experiencing trauma interferes with daily functioning • Mental health, used against the victim • May have left in the past unsuccessfully. • Feels incapable of defending them self or the children • Staying may be viewed as the only viable option • Biggest reason for staying is the kids • The “F” words

2 Pregnancy-Sexual Assault Connection

• -Rape after a beating • STI-UTI- Hepatitis C-HIV-PID-intrauterine pregnancy • No control over sexual decision making • Unwanted, unintended or untimed pregnancy • 51% of mothers on public assistance experience birth control sabotage by a partner. Leading cause of all types of death during pregnancy and first year postpartum (Cheng and Horon, 2010) • Spontaneous abortion-Forced abortion • Sporadic-late prenatal care • Uncontrolled co-morbidity: Diabetes, HTN, Toxemia

Parental Risk Factors

Witnessed or experienced violence as a child Experienced corporal as a child Disadvantaged socio-economic status Little or no community connections Generational history of violence Substance abuse-addictive behaviors Chronic physical illness One or both parents has a mental illness One or both parents has been incarcerated

3 The Offending Parent Abuse tactics often increase with separation

Exerts control by sending mixed messages to kids Show a very different public-private face Negatively portray the non-offending parent Uses MH issues against non-offending parent Calls CPS-PD with unfounded allegations Critical of victim’s parenting skills Sabotages-undermines parenting time Deny-withhold child support or any financial care Seeks sole custody

Children are exposed to IPV in a variety of ways Sense of Safety Is Threatened (Source-National Survey of Children’s Exposure to Violence)

•Witness the violence-Multiple exposures •Physical assault-Child’s attempt to protect a parent •Feel the tension in the home from stressors •May feel like they have to choose sides-pressure •May feel the violence is their fault •Difficulty with boundaries or establishing boundaries • Stress Reactions: anxiety, poor concentration, , overly sensitive, fearful, secretive • Physical symptoms: headaches, belly aches • Regress: Bed wetting, thumb sucking, stuttering • At risk for sexual abuse

4 The Role Of A Trusted Provider

Ask Direct Questions regarding abuse/violence. Point out what you see or hear in an objective, caring manner. Directly address abusive, harmful behaviors. Do not discount or minimize any level of escalation. Act immediately on eminent threats.

Direct to appropriate community supports. Insist on medical care for injuries, sexual assault. Clearly state your responsibility and duty to report, including law enforcement, CPS notification.

Recognize Indicators of Escalation

• Increase in controlling behaviors • Increased non-physical forms of violence • Initiating physical violence • Any increase in frequency-intensity • Abuse or increasing abuse toward animals • Increasing terror tactics-threats to harm, death threats • Use of weapons or threatening with weapons • threats by the perpetrator

Related Crimes: destruction of property, robbery, burglary, theft, arson, kidnapping, sexual assault, hostage taking, workplace violence, strangulation, stalking

5 Strangulation is often present in victims of Intimate Partner Violence. Kids often witness.

50% of victims physically abused are sexually abused. 50% of sexual assaults involve strangulation. 50% present with head injuries. 60% of injuries to the head, face, and neck. 35% present with orbital (eye) fractures. 20-30% Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) have visual problems.

Stalking statistically leads to assault, rape, murder 76% of murdered females were stalked by their intimate partner before they were killed. Fueled by anger and resentment Enraged at losing control-Intended is to instill • 1:12 women, 1:45 men are stalked in a lifetime • 21% stalked before leaving a violent relationship • 43% stalked after leaving a violent relationship • 2/3s pursue the victim at least 1x week • 78% use more than one approach • May continue stalking behavior when PO is enforced

6 Planning Safely: Never give your plan away. Change your plan as needed. Practice! Important documents and records in a safe location. Open a savings or checking account if possible. Special code word or phrase. Packed bags in a safe place. Rehearse escape plan-teach kids 911 if age appropriate. Security system. Change Locks. Bolt locks. Locked mailbox. Good outside lighting and/or alarm system. Install fire, smoke, CO2 detectors, fire extinguishers. Extra PO copies give to all need to know: Work, school, landlord, daycare, neighbor, family, friend. Call police every time there is an incident or sighting

Empowering Questions

WHAT DO YOU NEED? Who can you talk to? What are your choices, options? How can you take care of your health? Are you eating, sleeping uninterrupted? What has worked for you in the past? How will you stay safe? Keep your children safe? Identify additional support options.

7 Love is what makes you Life Saving Messages smile when you are tired. Terri-age 4 No one deserves to be abused. I’m concerned for your health. I’m concerned for your safety. I’m concerned for your kids. There’s no excuse for abuse. The abuse could get worse. This is a common problem. You are not alone. I’m here for you.

National Center for Victims of Crime www.ncvc.org Bureau of Justice Statistics www.bjs.gov FBI National Data Base www.fbi.gov Center for Disease Control www.cdc.org NE. DV/SA Coalitionwww.ndvsac.org Iowa DV www.icavda.org Iowa SA www.icasa.org Nat. Coalition Against www.ncadv.org Child witness to DV www.childwitnesstoviolence.org Men Stopping Violence www.menstoppingviolence.org Rape, Abuse and Network www.rainn.org www.prostitutionresearch.org Missing and Exploited Children www.ncmec.org Animal Abuse/Youth Violence www.ncjrs.org Campbell RN, PhD Johns Hopkins www.son.jhmi.edu

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