Dinner Theater presented by The Alpha-Omega Players

Featuring an Evening of Fun, Wit, and Comedy! Same crime, e~t :Year

GRAB ONE!

Monday, March 25 Alumni-Senior Club Tickets: $6 at LaFortune Dinner: 6:30 pm Show: 8:00 pm STUDENT UNION BOARD

The dinner will be catered by Spaghetti Works. i If you've been complaining about campus publications, now's your chance to make them better. If you want to gain writing experience and see your words in print, it's time to step forward. If you can take-photos, manage a computer system, or draw graphics and cartoons, we'd like to meet you. If you want to work for Scholastic next year (and the remainder of this one), mark this date and location: NOTRE DAME1S STUDENT.MAGAZINE

WEEKLY DEPARTMENTS

2 Editor's Notes

4 On Other Campuses

Nidi Spangler . ENTERTAINMENT 5 7 Week In Distortion o Even if you presently write or take photos * All majors and years are encouraged to Music for the magazine, you still need to come to come. If you've asked to work for us before, COVER Dinosaur Jr. 6 MoWrhead . this meeting. and were never contacted, we apologize and 10 Behavior Modification ask that you attend this meeting. Foodsale~ Reviews ./ If you have already applied for a position at Which dorms satisfy the 8 Scholastic, please come and talk to us: Some ~ In other words, this is the big Qne: Get a munchies? Movies 12 1991-92 editorial board positions are not yet leg up on next year's freshmen and join The Doors Coming Distractions filled, and many section editors have not yet Scholastic now. Cover photo by Paul Webb selected assistant editors. If you are . SPORTS 24 interested in any of thes~ paid positions, you 18 Final Word need to come to this meeting. '5" If you want to work at Scholastic, we need to . Bookstore Hysteria know about it. If for some reason you can't . The annual Notre Dame rite of J'" Working at other campus publications make this meeting but are still interested, call spring heats up , .. does not automatically disqualify you 239-7569 before March 27 and leave your from working at Scholastic. name and number. MMQH21, 1991 1

" --- . i If you've been complaining about campus publications, now's your chance to make them better. If you want to gain writing experience and see your words in print, it's time to step forward. If you can take-photos, manage a computer system, or draw graphics and cartoons, we'd like to meet you. If you want to work for Scholastic next year (and the remainder of this one), mark this date and location: NOTRE DAME1S STUDENT.MAGAZINE

WEEKLY DEPARTMENTS

2 Editor's Notes

4 On Other Campuses

Nidi Spangler . ENTERTAINMENT 5 7 Week In Distortion o Even if you presently write or take photos * All majors and years are encouraged to Music for the magazine, you still need to come to come. If you've asked to work for us before, COVER Dinosaur Jr. 6 MoWrhead . this meeting. and were never contacted, we apologize and 10 Behavior Modification ask that you attend this meeting. Foodsale~ Reviews ./ If you have already applied for a position at Which dorms satisfy the 8 Scholastic, please come and talk to us: Some ~ In other words, this is the big Qne: Get a munchies? Movies 12 1991-92 editorial board positions are not yet leg up on next year's freshmen and join The Doors Coming Distractions filled, and many section editors have not yet Scholastic now. Cover photo by Paul Webb selected assistant editors. If you are . SPORTS 24 interested in any of thes~ paid positions, you 18 Final Word need to come to this meeting. '5" If you want to work at Scholastic, we need to . Bookstore Hysteria know about it. If for some reason you can't . The annual Notre Dame rite of J'" Working at other campus publications make this meeting but are still interested, call spring heats up , .. does not automatically disqualify you 239-7569 before March 27 and leave your from working at Scholastic. name and number. MMQH21, 1991 1

" --- . Ch-ch-ch-changes ... Work for Scholastic/Sarcastic Check out the changes in the list at left: This Check the inside front cover for details on rFRIDAi~APRiL 19 r~ ~ ~~~~~I is the first issue of Scholastic produced by Scholastic's spring organizational meeting. the the 1991-92 editorial board. All majors and years arc encourgaed to NOTRE DAME STEPAN CENTER SCHOLASTIC Another change is this column -- formerly allend. NOTRE DAME'S STUDENT MAGAZINE this was Scholastic's editorial space, and Our annual April Fool's issue is fast opinions written here represented the approaching "- Editor' in chief emeritus position of the magazine's editorial board. Mike Wieber is taking his last bow in this Vol. 132, No. 18 This is now "Editor's Notes" and represents issue -- take a look at the ad on page 23 for March 21, 1991 only my own thoughts. Editorials, when more information on writing for Sarcastic. they are printed, will' run on the page DisceQuasi Semper Victurus Vive Quasi eras Moriturus opposite this one. About this Issue Also take a look at pages 12 and 13. "Coming Distractions" has been expanded This week we present our biennial foodsaIcs EDITOR IN CHIEF to cover 11 days on two pages. The calendar review. Staffers visited all 25 dorms to find Ian Mitchell is printed on the magazine's centerspread so Notre Dame's best place forlate~night MANAGING EDITOR you can pull it out and save it. snacking. . Mari Okuda . More changes are in the works -- next We took some precautions: no critic was week, du.e to Easter break, Scholastic is not assigned his or. her own dorm, and the NEWS EDITOR foodsales employees weren't told they're Kate Manuel published,' and the volume after that is Sarcastic, our humor issue (more on that being reviewed; at least not until the food, SPORTS EDITOR later). The next regulllI' issue of the atmosphere and service·were evaluated. Jon Paul Potts magazine wiII be distributed April 11, and This year our writers faced asbestos, CAMPUS LIFE EDITOR we'll be using the extra time between now frostbite and spoiled food on their culinary Kristine DeGange and then to plan for the future. qUCst for the holy grail of the finest in foodsales. One slight disclaimer: some of ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR the foodsales were' out of some items Dave Holsinger Your Input Please because the reviews were conducted shortly ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT If you have coinpliments, comments or before and after springbrcak. Elizabeth Graner complaints about the magazine, I'd like to Scholastic evaluatcdfoodsaIes in 1975, hear them. Call me at 239-7569 with but since the 19~6-87 school year, we've DEPARTMENTS EDITOR Michael Owen suggestions for future issues, news tips and reviewed them every two years. In 1986-87 story ideas. we gave five stars to Stanford and Zahm, PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Better yet, write a "letter to the editor." while in 1988-89 Keenan and Zahm got that Paul Webb .' The letters policy is printed in tiny type at the ranking. What happened this year? Will Doing Reggae Antf1ems like: COPY EDITOR bottom of this page. If you have a comment Zahm "three-peat" with another five-star Margaret Kenny on an article or column, send it in. rating? How does your dorm stack up? "NO WOMAN, NO CRY II If you have something·to say-.about a Where's the best (imd worst) dorm food? "RASTAMAN VIBRATION" LAYOUT/SYSTEMS MANAGER campus controversy or an issue affecting Patricia Doyle The article begins on page 10. Why not find "EXODUS" and more! Notre Dame students, write a "Final Word." out yourself? ADVERTISING MANAGER This one-page column runs on the last page David Chmiel of every Scholastic, and it's the reader's Ian Mitchell chance to speak to the campus community. BUSINESS MANAGER . Editorin Chief Plus Special Guests ... Scott Ecker . Talk to Mike Owen, departments editor, if Also from Jamaica, also .It!IMn'\ln· you'd like to get in the final word. GRAPHIC ARTS MANAGER Jeanne Naylor Letters 10 Sd.olastic must. "" Iyped cmd includt the writer's ""'"", addTmothers for atleast 15 years after graduation and state killing spree with axes;" he said. "Hell, it's almost cliche! We talked it over for a while and decided that New England would that a rehab center is in the works for thosc who "can't leave the We're supposed to be bright young college men. We can come up be good. The states were small and there were lots of people up nest.'.' with something with a, little more class than axes ... honestly!" and there; that would make our job easier. We'd start in Verinont and w.ith a huff he sat back down. After a moment's pause he asked make a loop up into Maine. That would hit four states. Our killing again, '·~Guns or knives?" spree was taking shape. Weknew when and where and how we were "Well," I said, "let's weigh this rationally. On the one hand guns going to go about it We had thought of how to get rid of the bodies are fast and clean but loud and we'll never get silencers. There's and how to get to Canada without getting caught. It was a plan and Killer Kitties in·KC fingerprints andbalIistics and we'd have to get rid of them. Also, a haIf. we were feeling pretty good about ourselves having thought . . . ".' '. . . -' where arc we goingtoget guns?,' the whole thing out so well. But then, when we were at the peak of "Your roommate's in ROTC, isn't he?" Fred suggested. St!lY far away from Kansas Cityl According to the Daily Kansan, a our demented brilliance, the pinnacle of post-adolescent homicial "Sur~,", I said; "if y'ou want to use an M~.l6 with a grenade man was working on a car in a reprurshop when his.cat shot him in Pressure Mounts in Florida tendency, Fred asked the question that destroyed it all. launcheri" ,F~d thought about this for a second. . "Don?" he began. . the foot. Actually, the little furbag knocked the weapon off of a Academic competitiveness has reached an all-time high in the state "We could have fun with the grenade launcher," he said. ."Yeah?" 1 replied .. workbench,· thus discharging a bullet. "Trigger;" as the tabby is of Florida as the. Board of Regents has decided to allow a public I told.him to shut up and we drank in silence once again. Then 1 "Why do we want to do this?" .. known, offered the alibi ~ta press conference following massive. university to be built in the FortMyers area. The decision has some continued "On the other hand knives arc messy but easy to conceal. The trance exploded like a beer bubble breaching the surface. surgery. In a heatcdrespbnse. to the injury: the man immediately· officials at theVniversityofMiami thinking (right!).· EnrollmentaL We' il nee~ a good sharp knife anyway to cut up the bodies. Oh yeah, "I hadn't ~eally thought about it," ltoldhim. . O· placed kitty in the nearest vice and proceededtodismember her. The the southern mecca of intelligence could decline if the Fort Myers we'ii need a shovel. Make a note."· story furtheremphasi7.esthe urgent need in this country for a" school offers better versions of popular Cosmetology, Auto Theft, "Noted," he said. We both drank. National Feline Elimination policy so these lazy,moody, annoying· or Literacy majors; . . . 0 Don Modica is a sophomore Vermin who wants everyone to know "So it's knives?" 1 asked. little creatures don't damage another auto~rilechanic's foot. .. . . by Michael Owen that everything he writes actually happened to him personally and '.'Sounds good," Fred replied then got up to change the disc. "Petty that writers never, ever ~ake anything up. SC:aOLASTIC MARCH 21, 1991 5 j '- KiUer NO PARTICULAR REASON Hopefully this doesn't happen every time these guys have a couple beers ... Stanford Gives New Meaning to Southwest Missouri Gets a Alternative Scholarships Crime Column sat in a smoke fllied dorm room with me friend Fred. We were or Dylan?" he asked. I chaining Marlboro Lights and drinking Meister Braufrom large Call Stanford what you will, but don't call it unoriginal. According A ruling in fcderal court last week uphcld a 1974 decision that a "Petty," I said. "What else?" glass mugs stolen from Macri's. Tchaikovsky's First pounded to the Stanford Daily, a gay couple has established a $200,000 privacy-protection law should not keep collegcs from publishing "We'll need a car. Where will we get a car?" angrily over the rain pelting window. After about three beers I get scholarship fund specifically for gay and Icsbianstudents at information about student-related crime according to The Chronicle "I hadn't reaIly thought about it," I told him. . moody and philosophical. I was well into my sixth. St.1nford Univcrsity and two other Bay area colleges. Stanford . of Higher Eductation. Traci Bauer, editorofSWMU's newspaper, "Your roommate has a car. Do you know where he leaves his denies that it is discriminating against heterosexual students by brought the suit after the school refused to offer campus crime "Fred," I said. keys?" allowing the scholarship to be offered. III a related story at a well, . statistics. Bauer said, "It was my responsibility to get the . "Yeah," h~ answered~ "Yup," I said . known Midwestern school, an $87 scholarship is in the works for· information to students." ·The paper now rt.lns a "See Your Friends "What are you doing this weekend?" Fred thought for a moment. "Okay, that's no problem. We'll leave at six a.m." Irish Catholic Pre~MCds from the Chicago suburbs named Michael in Print" column of various campus crimes which include assaults, "Nothing," he replic,d, "Set your alarm." I said. who like Billy Joel and order more than half Qftheir wardrobe from burglaries, and obscenely high poofy hairdos. "How about a four state killing sprec?" Our words hung in the air with the smoke from our cigarettes. The J.Crew. So far the scholarship has becn ruled "too general" as A gust of cold Indiana wind blew the rain against the window raincontinued to fall on the roof ofour dorm like drums in the jungle. statistics suggest 2,032 students already qualify. ficrcely.Fred weighed the merit of my suggestion in his mind. The natives were restless. A moment passed. I Miss Mommy . -"Sure" he said and took a pull on his beer. "Where?" "Where?" Fred asked again. ~'I hadn't ~eally thought about it," I told him. "I hadn't really thought about it," I told him. Students at .Graceland College in Iowa couldn't be happier with the We drank in silence for a moment. "We've established that," he said .. "Think about it." I did .. requirement of living on-campus for freshman and sophomore years "Guns or knives?" ,Fred askyd. "Well," I said, "if we're going to do it right it has to end in a according to theNationalOn~Cainpus Report. Graceland operates "What?" dramatic run for the border with the federales in hot pursuit. So I on a 26 year-old "HoUScSysLcm" where'upperclassmen may move "Guns or knives?" he enunciated so I· would. have no trouble. I guess if we're going to make a run for the border there ought to be off-campus yet most do not choose Lo do so. One student defended stared at the wall and considered it. a border to run for. Do you prefer Canada or Mexico?" the system by stating "At least we don't have Frats!" The report "1 hadn't really thought about it," I told him. "Axes mayher' "Oh, not Mexico," Fred said. neglects to mention t~at 72 percent of Graceland's students end up Fred grew angry and stood up. "Any schmuck can go on a four "Alright; Canada then. Pick a spot in the North." . living with their mothers for atleast 15 years after graduation and state killing spree with axes;" he said. "Hell, it's almost cliche! We talked it over for a while and decided that New England would that a rehab center is in the works for thosc who "can't leave the We're supposed to be bright young college men. We can come up be good. The states were small and there were lots of people up nest.'.' with something with a, little more class than axes ... honestly!" and there; that would make our job easier. We'd start in Verinont and w.ith a huff he sat back down. After a moment's pause he asked make a loop up into Maine. That would hit four states. Our killing again, '·~Guns or knives?" spree was taking shape. Weknew when and where and how we were "Well," I said, "let's weigh this rationally. On the one hand guns going to go about it We had thought of how to get rid of the bodies are fast and clean but loud and we'll never get silencers. There's and how to get to Canada without getting caught. It was a plan and Killer Kitties in·KC fingerprints andbalIistics and we'd have to get rid of them. Also, a haIf. we were feeling pretty good about ourselves having thought . . . ".' '. . . -' where arc we goingtoget guns?,' the whole thing out so well. But then, when we were at the peak of "Your roommate's in ROTC, isn't he?" Fred suggested. St!lY far away from Kansas Cityl According to the Daily Kansan, a our demented brilliance, the pinnacle of post-adolescent homicial "Sur~,", I said; "if y'ou want to use an M~.l6 with a grenade man was working on a car in a reprurshop when his.cat shot him in Pressure Mounts in Florida tendency, Fred asked the question that destroyed it all. launcheri" ,F~d thought about this for a second. . "Don?" he began. . the foot. Actually, the little furbag knocked the weapon off of a Academic competitiveness has reached an all-time high in the state "We could have fun with the grenade launcher," he said. ."Yeah?" 1 replied .. workbench,· thus discharging a bullet. "Trigger;" as the tabby is of Florida as the. Board of Regents has decided to allow a public I told.him to shut up and we drank in silence once again. Then 1 "Why do we want to do this?" .. known, offered the alibi ~ta press conference following massive. university to be built in the FortMyers area. The decision has some continued "On the other hand knives arc messy but easy to conceal. The trance exploded like a beer bubble breaching the surface. surgery. In a heatcdrespbnse. to the injury: the man immediately· officials at theVniversityofMiami thinking (right!).· EnrollmentaL We' il nee~ a good sharp knife anyway to cut up the bodies. Oh yeah, "I hadn't ~eally thought about it," ltoldhim. . O· placed kitty in the nearest vice and proceededtodismember her. The the southern mecca of intelligence could decline if the Fort Myers we'ii need a shovel. Make a note."· story furtheremphasi7.esthe urgent need in this country for a" school offers better versions of popular Cosmetology, Auto Theft, "Noted," he said. We both drank. National Feline Elimination policy so these lazy,moody, annoying· or Literacy majors; . . . 0 Don Modica is a sophomore Vermin who wants everyone to know "So it's knives?" 1 asked. little creatures don't damage another auto~rilechanic's foot. .. . . by Michael Owen that everything he writes actually happened to him personally and '.'Sounds good," Fred replied then got up to change the disc. "Petty that writers never, ever ~ake anything up. SC:aOLASTIC MARCH 21, 1991 5 j '- n::[]@~©l@~ 9 [P@@fr@~ 9 [L@M©l@~ IMMATIURE New'releases from Dinosaur Jr. and Motorhead are plenty loud and grungy

\~ r)rTrf lS~·~. its first track, "The Wagon," a dyes, then check out Dinosaur Living Color in the past. Their LlrM.,. ~f I 1,'. I I' 1. . _'"-,.. 1 AND ~...- [1" ...... _,_-"OvA __ ...... #,~ free-spirited psychedelic romp Jr. Besides, they've covered a sound is more diversified, and that screams "college radio hit." , Cure song, a Byrds song, and - gulp - mature, but it is total The single was originruly fea­ "Show Me the Way" by Peter MotOrhead mania all the way tured on a limited-edition 7" Frampton. All within four through. released by Seattle's Sup Pop 1916 launches out with ''The records this summer. One to Sing the Blues," a nerve­ The rest of the album drifts racking blitzkreig of thunderous through a blend of music that drums and guitar. In "I'm So seems pleasantly smooth and Bad (Baby I Don't Care)," Dear Mr. Manners: of support. What I am to do when this terribly embarassing wickedly caucophonous. "Puke Lemmy gives a twisted attempt trauma happens? . and Cry," "Water," and at a bluesy-metal blend, still A purely hypothetical question: Would it be rude to write you Dinosaur Jr. Green Mind "Thumb" are almost relaxing- carrying his angst-strained a letter. saying that you stink most egregiously in comparison to Kathleen, senior, Walsh In the twisted and torrid quite unusual for DinosaurJr. voice. "Make My Day" and Dr. Head? Just wondering. world· of alternative music, one "Puke and Cry" calms down the "Shut You Down" continue the of the rages sweeping the alter­ listener from the previous track, persistent MotOrhead assault, The Trolls, freshmen, Grace Wow. Being a man mysCIf, I really have no idea what kind of trauma native conclilVcs ofwhitesubur­ and the entices him/her into a waging a furious guitar attack you must have when your support bra gives out, and I'm doing bia these days is loud, grungy distorted swirl of aural hallu­ Motorhead 1916 that is guaranteed to melt ear­ everything in my power to hold back from making lewd sexist rock that mixes the power of cinogens. MotOrhead. The word alone drums. The album continues Ah, another case of pansies too unsure of themselves to sign a letter comments, but being the nice and proper individual that I am, I'll seventies hard rock and metal "How'd You Pin That One sends all those wholesome Billy with "Ramones," a fitting trib­ with their own names. If you're going to insult me, you can at least restrain myself. with the attitudes of punk. on Me" is probably the only Joel fans scurrying for their par­ ute to the most persistent punk follow proper etiquette and insult me like a man -let me know who Mter consulting with the female members ofour fine staff here at Amidst the wreckage of song on the album that can be ents' protective arms. In the band of all time, and it will have you are, you little freshmen losers. And what kind of a nickname is Scholastic, I have been advised to tell you that you should first leave Sound garden wanna-bes and . categorized as classic Dinosaur great panthenon of heavy metal, you "Gabba-heying" and bang­ "The Trolls?" You must be really hard up for a social life to think the room, and then seek an adequate supply of ducttape. Youshould long-haired dirtbags arises the Jr. It's loud, warbling, distorted no band evokes as much emo­ ing your head all at the ,same up a name like that. Of course, you do live in Grace, so I suppose this then proceed to use the duct tape to replace your lost support. Be psychedelic wall of noise mani­ and rolls around one's brain ata tion as these veteran rockers. time. is a reasonably accurate assumption. The only thing that impresses advised that this may be somewhat painful to remove, but it should fested in Dinosaur Jr., Their near-frantic pace. This song The College Music Joumal went The most puzzling but eerily me in any way whatsoever about your little insult is the fact that you do the trick. Honestly, I have no idea if this will really work since music can best be described as assures the listener that 'these as far as to call for MotOrhead's haunting track on 1916 is the managed to use a five-dollar word like "egregiously" properly. I am not a wom,an myself, but I'll take the word of my co-workers an acid trip of the ears, and their guys won't be playing stadiums Lemmy Kilmeister's "mug, up title track. Motorhcad actually I know that I'm not quite as popular as Dr. Head, but then again, I on this one. newest release, Green Mind, with The Cure anytime soon. on Mt. Rushmore, or since he's resorts to cellos, and we sec a didn't want this job. Just because Dr. Head mysteriously diappeared I might also prescribe some preventive medicine - maybe you continues as a prime example of The two best cuts on Green British, superimposed on the moresensitivesideofLemmy(I after referring to certain members of the administration as Nazis, I should check your watch a little more often to avoid this type of this legacy. Mind are "Blowing It" and "I face of Big Ben." Let's face it: never knew he had one!). In suddenly have to come out of retirement, where I was perfectly incident in the future. I know you don't want to look like you have Green Mind, the. fourth LP Live for that Day," and they're MotOrhead is in a class by them­ "1916," Lemmy creates a bi­ content to sit and ponder matters of etiquette, to answer the vain and a "Cinderella complex," always rushing out of places at the zero and major label debut by this actually part of one song. By selves when it comes to heavy zarre atmosphere that is more uncouth questions of you dingleberry Notre Dame students. No, I hour, but I think it might be advisable to avoid major embarassment. Amherst, Mass. band, is the lat­ changing the guitar riff and metal. They are the meane,st, reminiscent of Pink Floyd's The am not omnipotent like Dr. Head, and I know that I'm not nearly as Sources tell me that materials engineers are hard at work trying to est in a series of lineup changes vocal pitch a bit, Mascis and Co. baddest and all-around most Wall than MotOrhead's classic, witty. I'm terribly sorry. develop a material which will hold up for more than 18 hours and and breakup rumors dating back are able to blend the two songs vicious of the metal heads, and to "Ace of Spades." In answerto your question, though, yes, it is rude of you to insult me, give you a little bit of extra time. Good luck to them, ~md to you as to their last EP, Just Like into a single, catchy master­ steal from our President, they Like Dinosaur Jr., but if you must insult me, I wish you would do it properly and let me· well, Kathleen. piece. This song (or songs, kick more ass than anybody. MotOrhead ROCKS. But know who you are. Heaven.' The new lineup in­ cludes the original J. Mascis on however one looks at it) peppers 1916, the new MotOrhead LP, harder. Faster. Louder. Remember, you can serid your etiquette inquiries to Mr. Manners at guitar and vocals, but splits the the usual Dinosaur Jr. psyche­ finalizes MotOrhead's glorious Meaner. Long live Lemmy. the following address: . , place in rock and roll history. Long live MoHirhcad. Dear Mr. Manners: drumming duties between Di­ delic guitar jams with a bouncy Mr. Manners, c/o Scholastic, 303 LaFortune, Campus Mail nosaur, Jr. co-founder Murph stop-and-go rhythm. Basicruly, Ian "Lemmy" Ki!meister Letters should be written in any color ink except red (I don't like red, and Jay Speigel of the Velvet IT ROCKS (see MotDon Fleming, ruso of Dinosaur Jr. is back with a Campbell (guitar), Mick· is back to irritate and enter:Ulin. I am forced to wear I8-hour support brassieres more often than take dot-matrix but you'd best have a darn good excuse for using it.) the Velvet Monkeys, plays bass. vengenance, and their new "Wiirzel" Burston (guitar) and He still is Music Director at I would like. My major problem is not that the fact that these Be sure to use gender-inchisive language where relevant, and don't, and some guit<'U's.The album is album, Green/ Mind, attests to Phil "Philthy Animal" Taylor all WVFI and says "Censorship is brassieres are horribly uncomfortable, or unattractive, but that swear; Enclose your letter in a standard, business-sized enveiope produced by Mascis and engi­ this. If loud, drug-induced psy- combine for a spectacular effort Unamerican." He hopes that I often face major embarassment when the IS-hour time limit and make sure that you leave a littlespace uriglued at the top so that neered by studio veterans Sean , chedelia is what you're after, but on1916. The album is produced Ian Mitchell, his beloved Editor runs out and I am suddenly faced with, shall I say, a major loss I can easily use my letter opener (ifyou think this is some kind of Slade and Paul Kolderie .. you'd rather be caught tying by veteran Ed Slasium, who has in Chief, keeps that in mindfor sexual thing, stop it now). ' Green Mind rockets off with combat boots instead of tie- worked with the Ramones and the upcoming year. o 6 SCHOLASTIC MARCH 21, 1991 7 n::[]@~©l@~ 9 [P@@fr@~ 9 [L@M©l@~ IMMATIURE New'releases from Dinosaur Jr. and Motorhead are plenty loud and grungy

\~ r)rTrf lS~·~. its first track, "The Wagon," a dyes, then check out Dinosaur Living Color in the past. Their LlrM.,. ~f I 1,'. I I' 1. . _'"-,.. 1 AND ~...- [1" ...... _,_-"OvA __ ...... #,~ free-spirited psychedelic romp Jr. Besides, they've covered a sound is more diversified, and that screams "college radio hit." , Cure song, a Byrds song, and - gulp - mature, but it is total The single was originruly fea­ "Show Me the Way" by Peter MotOrhead mania all the way tured on a limited-edition 7" Frampton. All within four through. released by Seattle's Sup Pop 1916 launches out with ''The records this summer. One to Sing the Blues," a nerve­ The rest of the album drifts racking blitzkreig of thunderous through a blend of music that drums and guitar. In "I'm So seems pleasantly smooth and Bad (Baby I Don't Care)," Dear Mr. Manners: of support. What I am to do when this terribly embarassing wickedly caucophonous. "Puke Lemmy gives a twisted attempt trauma happens? . and Cry," "Water," and at a bluesy-metal blend, still A purely hypothetical question: Would it be rude to write you Dinosaur Jr. Green Mind "Thumb" are almost relaxing- carrying his angst-strained a letter. saying that you stink most egregiously in comparison to Kathleen, senior, Walsh In the twisted and torrid quite unusual for DinosaurJr. voice. "Make My Day" and Dr. Head? Just wondering. world· of alternative music, one "Puke and Cry" calms down the "Shut You Down" continue the of the rages sweeping the alter­ listener from the previous track, persistent MotOrhead assault, The Trolls, freshmen, Grace Wow. Being a man mysCIf, I really have no idea what kind of trauma native conclilVcs ofwhitesubur­ and the entices him/her into a waging a furious guitar attack you must have when your support bra gives out, and I'm doing bia these days is loud, grungy distorted swirl of aural hallu­ Motorhead 1916 that is guaranteed to melt ear­ everything in my power to hold back from making lewd sexist rock that mixes the power of cinogens. MotOrhead. The word alone drums. The album continues Ah, another case of pansies too unsure of themselves to sign a letter comments, but being the nice and proper individual that I am, I'll seventies hard rock and metal "How'd You Pin That One sends all those wholesome Billy with "Ramones," a fitting trib­ with their own names. If you're going to insult me, you can at least restrain myself. with the attitudes of punk. on Me" is probably the only Joel fans scurrying for their par­ ute to the most persistent punk follow proper etiquette and insult me like a man -let me know who Mter consulting with the female members ofour fine staff here at Amidst the wreckage of song on the album that can be ents' protective arms. In the band of all time, and it will have you are, you little freshmen losers. And what kind of a nickname is Scholastic, I have been advised to tell you that you should first leave Sound garden wanna-bes and . categorized as classic Dinosaur great panthenon of heavy metal, you "Gabba-heying" and bang­ "The Trolls?" You must be really hard up for a social life to think the room, and then seek an adequate supply of ducttape. Youshould long-haired dirtbags arises the Jr. It's loud, warbling, distorted no band evokes as much emo­ ing your head all at the ,same up a name like that. Of course, you do live in Grace, so I suppose this then proceed to use the duct tape to replace your lost support. Be psychedelic wall of noise mani­ and rolls around one's brain ata tion as these veteran rockers. time. is a reasonably accurate assumption. The only thing that impresses advised that this may be somewhat painful to remove, but it should fested in Dinosaur Jr., Their near-frantic pace. This song The College Music Joumal went The most puzzling but eerily me in any way whatsoever about your little insult is the fact that you do the trick. Honestly, I have no idea if this will really work since music can best be described as assures the listener that 'these as far as to call for MotOrhead's haunting track on 1916 is the managed to use a five-dollar word like "egregiously" properly. I am not a wom,an myself, but I'll take the word of my co-workers an acid trip of the ears, and their guys won't be playing stadiums Lemmy Kilmeister's "mug, up title track. Motorhcad actually I know that I'm not quite as popular as Dr. Head, but then again, I on this one. newest release, Green Mind, with The Cure anytime soon. on Mt. Rushmore, or since he's resorts to cellos, and we sec a didn't want this job. Just because Dr. Head mysteriously diappeared I might also prescribe some preventive medicine - maybe you continues as a prime example of The two best cuts on Green British, superimposed on the moresensitivesideofLemmy(I after referring to certain members of the administration as Nazis, I should check your watch a little more often to avoid this type of this legacy. Mind are "Blowing It" and "I face of Big Ben." Let's face it: never knew he had one!). In suddenly have to come out of retirement, where I was perfectly incident in the future. I know you don't want to look like you have Green Mind, the. fourth LP Live for that Day," and they're MotOrhead is in a class by them­ "1916," Lemmy creates a bi­ content to sit and ponder matters of etiquette, to answer the vain and a "Cinderella complex," always rushing out of places at the zero and major label debut by this actually part of one song. By selves when it comes to heavy zarre atmosphere that is more uncouth questions of you dingleberry Notre Dame students. No, I hour, but I think it might be advisable to avoid major embarassment. Amherst, Mass. band, is the lat­ changing the guitar riff and metal. They are the meane,st, reminiscent of Pink Floyd's The am not omnipotent like Dr. Head, and I know that I'm not nearly as Sources tell me that materials engineers are hard at work trying to est in a series of lineup changes vocal pitch a bit, Mascis and Co. baddest and all-around most Wall than MotOrhead's classic, witty. I'm terribly sorry. develop a material which will hold up for more than 18 hours and and breakup rumors dating back are able to blend the two songs vicious of the metal heads, and to "Ace of Spades." In answerto your question, though, yes, it is rude of you to insult me, give you a little bit of extra time. Good luck to them, ~md to you as to their last EP, Just Like into a single, catchy master­ steal from our President, they Like Dinosaur Jr., but if you must insult me, I wish you would do it properly and let me· well, Kathleen. piece. This song (or songs, kick more ass than anybody. MotOrhead ROCKS. But know who you are. Heaven.' The new lineup in­ cludes the original J. Mascis on however one looks at it) peppers 1916, the new MotOrhead LP, harder. Faster. Louder. Remember, you can serid your etiquette inquiries to Mr. Manners at guitar and vocals, but splits the the usual Dinosaur Jr. psyche­ finalizes MotOrhead's glorious Meaner. Long live Lemmy. the following address: . , place in rock and roll history. Long live MoHirhcad. Dear Mr. Manners: drumming duties between Di­ delic guitar jams with a bouncy Mr. Manners, c/o Scholastic, 303 LaFortune, Campus Mail nosaur, Jr. co-founder Murph stop-and-go rhythm. Basicruly, Ian "Lemmy" Ki!meister Letters should be written in any color ink except red (I don't like red, and Jay Speigel of the Velvet IT ROCKS (see Mot

makes no smooth connections between the tality and pretentious, fans who were drawn to Morrison's music- hedonistic frenzies of the band offstage and overwrought crap. What he becomes the shaman who heals them the equally Dionysian orgies onstage. Tnin­ the ultimate verdict will through his music. He is not a superhuman sitions are maM by means of psychedelic be is hard to tell - this figure, merely a human with extraordinary dissolves, abrupt blackouts and flashes in movie, like Stone's other talent, and a human who is painfully aware of and out of consciousness. In fihning, Stone movies Salvador and his own mortality, with death providing has spared no detail in his attempt to produce Platoon, doesn't let it­ another of the movie's major themes. an authentic replication of the times,with self be understood im­ Morrison's major temptation is always to die, Temptation everything from costumes and selS down to mediately. It's very and to give himself a release - the serene the most minute props making this psyche­ ironic that in one of the look on his face at the end is certainly no delic illusion seem more real. early sequences of the mistake on the part of the director. Death was Likewise, the characters are shown in such movie, Stone appears as always the biggest "temptation" to Morrison, a way that everyone seems larger than life. himself as a professor at and this movie leaves no doubt that this, and of Jim The obvious focus of the film is Morrison, the UCLA film school not anonymity or obscurity, was his way of and Val Kilmer plays Morrison so convinc­ who critiques dealing with fame and "success." ingly. that the film grows far beyond the Morrison's filmmaking In the end, there is no clear cut reality about somewhat underdone script. Kilmer even as "very pretentious, Jim Morrison and the situation which lead to Morrl ~~on did his own vocals in the live sequences, very non-linear" but his death and the decline of the Doors. Stone giving them an added intesityand alithentic~ ends' up using the same gives no special bias in his film, and he only ity that helps make the film even more con­ techniques himself. takes the approach of providing as much vincing. Kilmer's supporting actors are. What Stone has not detail and as much intesnity as possible in' ,Sex. Drugs. Musi1:. Dionysius; definitely the inethod which Stone has cho­ oUlSumding as ~en, with band members done, however, is to' in­ trying to play Morrison's biographer. There Nietzsche. Art. Death ... all of these things sen to address his topic. The Doors moves Ray, Manzarek (Kyle MacLachlan), Robby tensify the myths which is no question of authenticity in the IiIm; but blend together in a mindboggling psyche­ in a stream-of-consciousness fashion from' Krieger (Frank Whaley)' and John Dens~ already. surround Jim only a question of reality, and that question is delic spiral in The Doors, Oliver Stone's the beginnings of the band, asRay Manzarek more (Kevin Dillon) providing a balance for Morrison. Morrison is thankfully left to the individual viewer. cinematic portrait of Jim Morrison and his (played by Kyle MacLachlan) and Morrison the character of Morrison which sometimeS not portrayed as a god or Whether Morrison was an artist or not, a god band, in such a way that viewers are left to (in a truly exceptional performance by Val opposes him and sometimes supports him. Billy Idol (believe It or not) portrays ' roadie In The Doors.' as a superhuman figure,' or a human being will be interpreted differ­ sort .out for themselves what the reality of Kilmer) meet on Venice Beach, up until the MorTison's two girlfriends also cause an although there are some ently by each viewer; My advice is to see this the Doors was. This movie does not clear up disintegration of the Doors and Morrison's interesting dynamic which isn't exactly scenes which lend themselves to the creation shameless and blatant Christ images used movie only once and don't try to force an anything about the man or the myth of Jim death in a Paris hotel. Trippycinematogra­ clear-cut between good and evil or life and of the Morrison myth, the Dionysian symbol in various parts of the film •. Instead, ~,e understanding right away. Let the intensity Morrison, but only provides the viewer with phy accentuates .the drugged-out feel of death, but instead blurs these tensions and of excess, the Lizard King, for. which major image which Stone wants the viewer die off and then sort out the perspectives enough authentic details and streams of everything surrounding the Doors, ·and an contributes even more to Morrison's de­ Morrsion has beCome known. Stone does to keep of Morrison is that ,of the shaman, which Stone has provided .. , there. is no right incidents that the reality of what happened especially psychedelic sequence in which cline. The naive and optimiStic Pamela not pull these scenes off withoutseeming. the tribal healerwho, as Morrsion explains, answer. [J is made entirely a matter of perspective.' the entire band trips on peyote in the desert Courson (played by MegR'yan, but a bit too just as pretentioti~ as what the Doors were "has a vision and heals the whole tribe." . by Dave Hol.~inger . "I'm into chaos," says Jim Morrison (or provides a launching point for the real bulk much like some of her other characters) tries trying to do with their music, though, and it is the tribe of 'rock androl;..;,I~== . that was Oliver Stone?), and chaos is of the film. All throughout The Doors', Stone to save Jim from himselfbuteventualIy:gets is this pretentiousness which may .be the drawn into' the same downward· spiral. movie's single biggest flaw. Frequent refer­ Morrison's other girlfriend, Patricia Kenne­ ences.to Nietzsche and The Bacchae ~ are ·aly (Kathleen Quinlan) is a drug-gorged, probably wasted on most film goers, and the cultist freak who eggs him On'inall of his final Scene, in 'which Morrison's grave is • i • • debauchery but in the ,end shows just as shown in the midst of artists like Chopin, much concern for him as does Meg Ryan's Balzac'and Rossini, tries to bring in too 'character. . much intellectuality to something Which is The main source of momeillllrrffoi" the almost entirely devoid of intellect, namely . film is the band's music; which is presented rock and roll. This same attempt to combine. most often ,in extended, enthralling live art and poetry with rock and roll is the reason sequences ranging froin the band's earliest that the Doors were simultaneously wonder­ gigs in Los Angeles to the concert inMiami ful and awful - when it worked,it was at which Morrison was arrested for public' incre

makes no smooth connections between the tality and pretentious, fans who were drawn to Morrison's music- hedonistic frenzies of the band offstage and overwrought crap. What he becomes the shaman who heals them the equally Dionysian orgies onstage. Tnin­ the ultimate verdict will through his music. He is not a superhuman sitions are maM by means of psychedelic be is hard to tell - this figure, merely a human with extraordinary dissolves, abrupt blackouts and flashes in movie, like Stone's other talent, and a human who is painfully aware of and out of consciousness. In fihning, Stone movies Salvador and his own mortality, with death providing has spared no detail in his attempt to produce Platoon, doesn't let it­ another of the movie's major themes. an authentic replication of the times,with self be understood im­ Morrison's major temptation is always to die, Temptation everything from costumes and selS down to mediately. It's very and to give himself a release - the serene the most minute props making this psyche­ ironic that in one of the look on his face at the end is certainly no delic illusion seem more real. early sequences of the mistake on the part of the director. Death was Likewise, the characters are shown in such movie, Stone appears as always the biggest "temptation" to Morrison, a way that everyone seems larger than life. himself as a professor at and this movie leaves no doubt that this, and of Jim The obvious focus of the film is Morrison, the UCLA film school not anonymity or obscurity, was his way of and Val Kilmer plays Morrison so convinc­ who critiques dealing with fame and "success." ingly. that the film grows far beyond the Morrison's filmmaking In the end, there is no clear cut reality about somewhat underdone script. Kilmer even as "very pretentious, Jim Morrison and the situation which lead to Morrl ~~on did his own vocals in the live sequences, very non-linear" but his death and the decline of the Doors. Stone giving them an added intesityand alithentic~ ends' up using the same gives no special bias in his film, and he only ity that helps make the film even more con­ techniques himself. takes the approach of providing as much vincing. Kilmer's supporting actors are. What Stone has not detail and as much intesnity as possible in' ,Sex. Drugs. Musi1:. Dionysius; definitely the inethod which Stone has cho­ oUlSumding as ~en, with band members done, however, is to' in­ trying to play Morrison's biographer. There Nietzsche. Art. Death ... all of these things sen to address his topic. The Doors moves Ray, Manzarek (Kyle MacLachlan), Robby tensify the myths which is no question of authenticity in the IiIm; but blend together in a mindboggling psyche­ in a stream-of-consciousness fashion from' Krieger (Frank Whaley)' and John Dens~ already. surround Jim only a question of reality, and that question is delic spiral in The Doors, Oliver Stone's the beginnings of the band, asRay Manzarek more (Kevin Dillon) providing a balance for Morrison. Morrison is thankfully left to the individual viewer. cinematic portrait of Jim Morrison and his (played by Kyle MacLachlan) and Morrison the character of Morrison which sometimeS not portrayed as a god or Whether Morrison was an artist or not, a god band, in such a way that viewers are left to (in a truly exceptional performance by Val opposes him and sometimes supports him. Billy Idol (believe It or not) portrays ' roadie In The Doors.' as a superhuman figure,' or a human being will be interpreted differ­ sort .out for themselves what the reality of Kilmer) meet on Venice Beach, up until the MorTison's two girlfriends also cause an although there are some ently by each viewer; My advice is to see this the Doors was. This movie does not clear up disintegration of the Doors and Morrison's interesting dynamic which isn't exactly scenes which lend themselves to the creation shameless and blatant Christ images used movie only once and don't try to force an anything about the man or the myth of Jim death in a Paris hotel. Trippycinematogra­ clear-cut between good and evil or life and of the Morrison myth, the Dionysian symbol in various parts of the film •. Instead, ~,e understanding right away. Let the intensity Morrison, but only provides the viewer with phy accentuates .the drugged-out feel of death, but instead blurs these tensions and of excess, the Lizard King, for. which major image which Stone wants the viewer die off and then sort out the perspectives enough authentic details and streams of everything surrounding the Doors, ·and an contributes even more to Morrison's de­ Morrsion has beCome known. Stone does to keep of Morrison is that ,of the shaman, which Stone has provided .. , there. is no right incidents that the reality of what happened especially psychedelic sequence in which cline. The naive and optimiStic Pamela not pull these scenes off withoutseeming. the tribal healerwho, as Morrsion explains, answer. [J is made entirely a matter of perspective.' the entire band trips on peyote in the desert Courson (played by MegR'yan, but a bit too just as pretentioti~ as what the Doors were "has a vision and heals the whole tribe." . by Dave Hol.~inger . "I'm into chaos," says Jim Morrison (or provides a launching point for the real bulk much like some of her other characters) tries trying to do with their music, though, and it is the tribe of 'rock androl;..;,I~== . that was Oliver Stone?), and chaos is of the film. All throughout The Doors', Stone to save Jim from himselfbuteventualIy:gets is this pretentiousness which may .be the drawn into' the same downward· spiral. movie's single biggest flaw. Frequent refer­ Morrison's other girlfriend, Patricia Kenne­ ences.to Nietzsche and The Bacchae ~ are ·aly (Kathleen Quinlan) is a drug-gorged, probably wasted on most film goers, and the cultist freak who eggs him On'inall of his final Scene, in 'which Morrison's grave is • i • • debauchery but in the ,end shows just as shown in the midst of artists like Chopin, much concern for him as does Meg Ryan's Balzac'and Rossini, tries to bring in too 'character. . much intellectuality to something Which is The main source of momeillllrrffoi" the almost entirely devoid of intellect, namely . film is the band's music; which is presented rock and roll. This same attempt to combine. most often ,in extended, enthralling live art and poetry with rock and roll is the reason sequences ranging froin the band's earliest that the Doors were simultaneously wonder­ gigs in Los Angeles to the concert inMiami ful and awful - when it worked,it was at which Morrison was arrested for public' incre

Thursday Friday Saturday March 21 March 22 March 23 Coming Distractions Movies: The Wall. Music: Glee Club Spring St. Patrick's Festivities: Cushing, 8 & 10:30 p.m., Concert Washington see list at right. $2. Hall, 8:15 p.m., Free. Movies:-3 Men and a 11 day calendar White Palace. CarrolV Movies: 3 Men and a Little Lady. Cushing. 8 SMC, 9 & 11:15 p.m., S2 Little Lady. Cushing. 8 &"10:30 p.m., $2. Music: Duo recital with & 10:30 p.m., S2. Jesus of Montreal. Snite, Violin.ist Carolyn Plummer Jesus of Montreal. Snite; 7:15 & 9:45 p.m., $2. Make sure your event gets listed -- send information (including date, Musical: Starlight time, and cost) to: and cellist Karen 7:15 &9'45 p.m., $2. CO'ming Distractions, Scholastic Magazine, Buranskas. Washington Mass Co -Peace, Sacred Express. JACC, 2 & 303 LaFortune, or call: 239-7569. The next Coming Distractions Hall, 8 p.m., frce. Heart,5:1 5 p.m. 8p.m., $13 stud. tickets. calendar will appear in the April 11 issue. Musical: Starlight Windy City Shuttle: Express. ;JACC, 8 p.m., . 9:30 a.m., $10. $13 stud. tickets. Mr. Stanford Contest, Washington Hall, 7:30 Sunday Monday Thesday . Wednesday p.m., $2. March 24 March 25 March 26 March 27 March 28 March 29 March 30 Snite Movies: Aguirre: Dinner Theater: Same Music: Notre Dame' Palm Sunday The Wrath of God. 7:00 Holy Thursday Good Friday Holy Saturday Time Next Year. Senior Orchestra Winter Musical: Starlight p.m. The Gospel Accord- Holy Thursday Liturgy. . Celebration of the Paschal Vigil. Sacred Bar, 6:30 p.m., $6 . Concert. Washington . Express. JACC,I:30 & ing to St. Matthew. 9:45 Sacred Heart, 5 p.m. Lord's Passion. Sacred Heart, 9 p.m . Film: "How Filmmakers . Hall, 8: 15 p.m., free .. 7 pm., 513 stud. tickets. p.m., each $2 . High School BaSketball: Hear~3 p.m. NCAA Final Four Depict Women" series Snite Movies: The 400 Music: Scholastic Meeting. South Bend Tribune Men's Basketball continues with My Blows. 7:00 p.m. Voices of Faith Montgomery Theater, 7:30 Sunburst All-Star Game, semifinal round on CBS Brilliant Career. Chicago Maternity Concert. Washington p.m. JACe, $5. from Indianapolis. Cushing; 7:30 pm. Center Story. 9:45 p.m.. Hall, 7:00 p.m., $1. "Try to Top it" dining SUB Chicago Trip: See discussion follows. S2.50. each $2. Notre Dame/Harvard hall contest: most creative ,. A Chorus Line, stay ."Try to Top It:" day Glee Club Vespers and nutritous topping of overnight at the Hilton, two of this gala event in Concert, Sacred Heart, cereal wins their choice of $35. both dining halls. All . 7:15 p.m., free. breakfast meals named Easter Break entrants have a chance to '. after them. W e ~id you (Begins 4 p.m. Until / wjn door prizes. not; 7:00-9:15 a.m. Monday, April 1.) March 31 Easter Sunday For More Information Call: Easter Buffet. South On Campus Touch Four . Movie Theatres Dining Hall, 1-4 p.m. LaFortune Information Desk: 239-8128 Call 239-2500, then press:: 100 Center Cinema I & 11:.259-0414 Student Union Board: 239-7757 .ext. 2101 for movie information . '. Scottsdale Theatte: 291-4583 SniteFilm Series Hot Line: 239-7361 ext. 2114 for,the music line . Town & Country Theatre: 259-9090 News Line (su!TImary of campus events): 239~5110 ext. 2112 for.concert infmmation University Park Cinema East: 277-7336 J ACC Ticket ~nformation: 239-7354 ext. 2117 for theatre information University Park Cinema West: 277-0441 Notre DameMenuLine: 283-FOOD ext. 2525 for a list of college events

Easter Break '. (Continued) 7

Birthdays of Famous Dead Guys For tickets: March 21 -- Johann Sebastian Bach March 23 -- Schulyer Colfax was born March 26 ~- Robert Frost was born in March 30 -- Rene Descartes was born in was born in 1685 at Eisenach, Germany. in 1823 in New York. Who was he, you 1874 in San Francisco. He's dead. He's 1596 at LaHaye, Touraine, France. His Tickets for most on-campus events are available at the Ahh ... Bach! Celebrate the birth of the ask? ("Who was he?") Good question. a poet. He's a dead poet. Speaking of works of philosophy have been playing master by attending OI'l:e of the many He was the seventeenth vice president of which, Robin Williams taught that with the minds of PLS and Philo majors door orat the LaFortune Information Desk. musical events on . campus: Faculty the United States. All right, so he's nOl literature has one great purpose: "to woo ever' since. He is famous for the Tickets to Starlight Express are sold at the gate 10 JACC recitals, Glee club performances, Voices famous. With a name like Schulyer, he women." Saget your 10, head for the statement "I think, therefore I am." ticket office from 10 a.m. - 5 p.m., or call 284-9190. of Faith concerts and the Notre Dame had to be good. library and ask for "Frost." Obviously, it was pretty easy to become Tickets to Mr. Stanford are sold by Stanford residents. Orchestra round out the week. I famous 400 years ago. 13 12 SCHOLASTIC MARCH 21.1991 ------.

Thursday Friday Saturday March 21 March 22 March 23 Coming Distractions Movies: The Wall. Music: Glee Club Spring St. Patrick's Festivities: Cushing, 8 & 10:30 p.m., Concert Washington see list at right. $2. Hall, 8:15 p.m., Free. Movies:-3 Men and a 11 day calendar White Palace. CarrolV Movies: 3 Men and a Little Lady. Cushing. 8 SMC, 9 & 11:15 p.m., S2 Little Lady. Cushing. 8 &"10:30 p.m., $2. Music: Duo recital with & 10:30 p.m., S2. Jesus of Montreal. Snite, Violin.ist Carolyn Plummer Jesus of Montreal. Snite; 7:15 & 9:45 p.m., $2. Make sure your event gets listed -- send information (including date, Musical: Starlight time, and cost) to: and cellist Karen 7:15 &9'45 p.m., $2. CO'ming Distractions, Scholastic Magazine, Buranskas. Washington Mass Co -Peace, Sacred Express. JACC, 2 & 303 LaFortune, or call: 239-7569. The next Coming Distractions Hall, 8 p.m., frce. Heart,5:1 5 p.m. 8p.m., $13 stud. tickets. calendar will appear in the April 11 issue. Musical: Starlight Windy City Shuttle: Express. ;JACC, 8 p.m., . 9:30 a.m., $10. $13 stud. tickets. Mr. Stanford Contest, Washington Hall, 7:30 Sunday Monday Thesday . Wednesday p.m., $2. March 24 March 25 March 26 March 27 March 28 March 29 March 30 Snite Movies: Aguirre: Dinner Theater: Same Music: Notre Dame' Palm Sunday The Wrath of God. 7:00 Holy Thursday Good Friday Holy Saturday Time Next Year. Senior Orchestra Winter Musical: Starlight p.m. The Gospel Accord- Holy Thursday Liturgy. . Celebration of the Paschal Vigil. Sacred Bar, 6:30 p.m., $6 . Concert. Washington . Express. JACC,I:30 & ing to St. Matthew. 9:45 Sacred Heart, 5 p.m. Lord's Passion. Sacred Heart, 9 p.m . Film: "How Filmmakers . Hall, 8: 15 p.m., free .. 7 pm., 513 stud. tickets. p.m., each $2 . High School BaSketball: Hear~3 p.m. NCAA Final Four Depict Women" series Snite Movies: The 400 Music: Scholastic Meeting. South Bend Tribune Men's Basketball continues with My Blows. 7:00 p.m. Voices of Faith Montgomery Theater, 7:30 Sunburst All-Star Game, semifinal round on CBS Brilliant Career. Chicago Maternity Concert. Washington p.m. JACe, $5. from Indianapolis. Cushing; 7:30 pm. Center Story. 9:45 p.m.. Hall, 7:00 p.m., $1. "Try to Top it" dining SUB Chicago Trip: See discussion follows. S2.50. each $2. Notre Dame/Harvard hall contest: most creative ,. A Chorus Line, stay ."Try to Top It:" day Glee Club Vespers and nutritous topping of overnight at the Hilton, two of this gala event in Concert, Sacred Heart, cereal wins their choice of $35. both dining halls. All . 7:15 p.m., free. breakfast meals named Easter Break entrants have a chance to '. after them. W e ~id you (Begins 4 p.m. Until / wjn door prizes. not; 7:00-9:15 a.m. Monday, April 1.) March 31 Easter Sunday For More Information Call: Easter Buffet. South On Campus Touch Four . Movie Theatres Dining Hall, 1-4 p.m. LaFortune Information Desk: 239-8128 Call 239-2500, then press:: 100 Center Cinema I & 11:.259-0414 Student Union Board: 239-7757 .ext. 2101 for movie information . '. Scottsdale Theatte: 291-4583 SniteFilm Series Hot Line: 239-7361 ext. 2114 for,the music line . Town & Country Theatre: 259-9090 News Line (su!TImary of campus events): 239~5110 ext. 2112 for.concert infmmation University Park Cinema East: 277-7336 J ACC Ticket ~nformation: 239-7354 ext. 2117 for theatre information University Park Cinema West: 277-0441 Notre DameMenuLine: 283-FOOD ext. 2525 for a list of college events

Easter Break '. (Continued) 7

Birthdays of Famous Dead Guys For tickets: March 21 -- Johann Sebastian Bach March 23 -- Schulyer Colfax was born March 26 ~- Robert Frost was born in March 30 -- Rene Descartes was born in was born in 1685 at Eisenach, Germany. in 1823 in New York. Who was he, you 1874 in San Francisco. He's dead. He's 1596 at LaHaye, Touraine, France. His Tickets for most on-campus events are available at the Ahh ... Bach! Celebrate the birth of the ask? ("Who was he?") Good question. a poet. He's a dead poet. Speaking of works of philosophy have been playing master by attending OI'l:e of the many He was the seventeenth vice president of which, Robin Williams taught that with the minds of PLS and Philo majors door orat the LaFortune Information Desk. musical events on . campus: Faculty the United States. All right, so he's nOl literature has one great purpose: "to woo ever' since. He is famous for the Tickets to Starlight Express are sold at the gate 10 JACC recitals, Glee club performances, Voices famous. With a name like Schulyer, he women." Saget your 10, head for the statement "I think, therefore I am." ticket office from 10 a.m. - 5 p.m., or call 284-9190. of Faith concerts and the Notre Dame had to be good. library and ask for "Frost." Obviously, it was pretty easy to become Tickets to Mr. Stanford are sold by Stanford residents. Orchestra round out the week. I famous 400 years ago. 13 12 SCHOLASTIC MARCH 21.1991 foodsales was nonexistent, with just a bargin at .25 cents) and nachos. There's also LYONS: Why wait ~till 12:30 A.M. to MORRISSEY: If you're on South Quad stationary exercise bike parked in front of a prelly good selection of soda, chips and appease your munchies when you can have and in the mood for a great pizza, Morrissey the counter. Well, the bike is still there cookies. The pizza wasn't available for our an afternoon snack at Lyons' foodsales? is the place togo. After first ending in the (though around the comer), needed even review, but while the choice of toppings was Although the.menu is fairly conventional, mailroom looking for the basement stairs, more to work off the calories from their good. (mushrooms, green peppers, much of themediocraty can be overlooked we followed our noses and found the place. reopening which is dominated by a wide­ pepperoni and sausage), there was no pizza due to the factthaLLyons is open fodunch­ The search was worth it. Their 12" pizza range of candy. All the popular sweets are oven-any pizza Knott served would be yet another excuse to aviod the dining hall. gocsTor $4.00 and a small for $2.50, with available at prices a little better than the strictly the frozen variety. All in all a good­ Although the pizza is the garden variety vending machines. We passed on the candy toppings $0.25 each. We tried a pepperoni not spectacular-food sales: fine if you live muffin sort, it has Lasty sauce and is the but went for a couple of their cookies- huge and sausage combo. The sign on their door in the dorm, but definitely not worth a perfect size for one person. Much ofthefood things with your choice of M & M, peanut announced their new crust was gelling rave special visit We give them two and 1/2 items arc do-it-yourself: nachos, with a butter (with peanut chunks), and chocolate reviews. We agreed. The thick crust and stars. choice of spicy or mi Id cheese; soft pretzels; chips. At $0.50 each, they were a good hot, spicy sauce pleased our palates. Another and microwave burritos. Other menu items chewy, concoction when microwaved. plus is their 'zas arc made to order an~1 ca~ be LEWIS: Lewis, the dorm without a quad, is include cere~lI, shakes, malL<; and ice cream. Unfortunately, on our review night, they phoned in. We also sampled their pl.zza practically without a food sales, to boot The workers are exceptionally friendly and wereoutofbagel pizzas (priced atS2.(0) but cal zone, another great cheesy concoction. They're convieniently open on Sunday both because of the afternqon hours, the mini­ we tried their nachos. It was a typical plate Not in mood for "Italian" fast fare, in the afternoon before dinner, and after restaurant becomes the. place to meet and ~ith mozzarella cheese priced atSO.90. We Morrissey's got a big selection with hot dinner. Oddly enough, when we asked one grect betwecn classes. Lyons' also offers also got a special side cup of the spicy dogs, chili dogs, and sub's. We really loved of the residents where the food salse was juice, soda, granola bars and candy. A :'Bueno" cheese for an e~tra $0.15. The rest their 16 oz. sodas in the old-fashioned of their menu was small with few drink returnable bOllles ($0.75)- not just Pepsis choices, though large pretzels were also and Cokes, bllt also Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew and 7up. Though the dining area is available. They do have an account system, one of the reviewers let our cover sl ip as we' so if you're short on cash you can pay up roomy with a radio providing som~ were taking an extended spring break when entertainment, it's not overly clean (but their we were doing our reviews. Sorry P.E. were heading out, we were chased by the later. The atmosphere was fair with their owner cha<;tizing us for not getting our 'za adjoining lounge crammed with old desks first floor lounge has comfy chairs and sofas, maybe next time! if a bit dark). Morrissey's foodsales is open hot and fresh, not ordering the medium sfze and chairs. We gave them two stars. with their new thick crust, and not ordering late and weekends with daily bargain PASQUERILLA WEST: Due to lack of their nachos (we heard its got a special hot specials- check the door as you walk in. We patronage, terrible hours, and a negative KEENAN: North Dining Hall got you salsa). We'll leave that to you. Overall we give them four stars. cash flow P.W.'s foodsales sadly closed down? Try Keenan's foodsales just across gave them four stars. . the grass. They've got a great inviting their doors for the last time just before spring break. We hope that before our next review dining area. It's clean and comfortable with PANGBORN: Pangborn foodsales was SIEGFRIED: Siegfried foodsales suffers' some creative entrepreneurs will reopen it a wide-screen TV to catch the movie of the burglarized during spring break, but high from lack of a kitchen. Most of the goodies and be able to make it work. night while munching down their fresh­ demand still kept foodsales open when found here, such as cracker jacks, trail mix; popped popcorn. It comes in a generous bag, classes resumed. The foodsales is located in or pop-tarts, arc packaged. There are other a great deat at $0.25 a bag. Their pizza is the basement with a pool table and chairs ST. ED'S: We showed up at Santo standard foodsales items such nachos, soft' average (the crust nor the cheese'didn't and tables for dining relaxation. Although Edwardo's about forty minutes after our pretzels, and bagels. Bagels come in several. especially thrill us) with a 14" going for the crust was a bit thin, the pizza was pizza was ready. But even afterreheating, it forms such as plain, cream cheese" $4.50. YOII can also buy it by Ihe slice, satisfying and it was ready immediately still Lasted great. The crust is excellent and sandwich, and pizza. The pizza bagel is which is good if you can't swallow a whole after order. The pretzels areadeal,three for the pizza contains cheddar cheese which is nothing exciting, just Ragu and shredded pie or have no one to share it with. Also a dollar. The nachos on the other hand were different, but it still works. A variety of cheese smothered on top and thrown in the offered arc pizza bagels at a greHt price of located, she informed us that it was located definite highlight is the gourmet hot disappointing. Although the quantity was toppings can be added such as sausage, microwave. At $1.25, my stomach and 50.75 for two halves or SO.50 for one. in a 24-hour parietal zone-no boys chocolate in mint and mocha flavors. The impressive, the cheese sause was cold and pepperonni, or double sausage an~ doubl~ wallet fell deprived. There are two treats in They've got a fair selection of munchies, allowed. They offer a sparse menu adjoining kitchen/sitting room (where the the chiRS were a bit stale, like someone left 'roni (even pineapple for you tropIcal frUIt the foodsales, though. First is the hot including nachos with salsa. Dairy producLc; including candy, soda, nachos and, bagels. . microwave is located for the nachos, etc.) is, the chip bag open over spring break. The pizza topping fans.) Impressive is the chocolate at only .25 cents a cup, the drink are also offered for health conscious folks AlLhough THERE IS NO PIZZA, they do large enough to accomodate all of your variety could improve also. Only about five variety of drinks here. These include pop, comes through on cold days. Second is Aunt, (milk, yogurt, and cream cheese- for the offer a soggy pizza bagle substitute .. Bagles . closest friends. while .also providing a different food items could be purchased. juice, milkshakes, orange julius, and Beth's cookies, which come in peanut bagels). We were disappointed we didn't Pangborn foodsales is open only for an hour also come with cream cheese, a definitc., rclaxingplu~etoeal.. The outstanding "spittle", all under the heading of "fr~sty butter chocolate chip, or M&M. These get a chance to try the buffalo wings -they and a halfbulthat.'s probably good for them. I' . . , bonus. Lewis food sales ,is very small and feature of Lyons' food sales is its convenient libations". The milkshakes are outstandmg. morsels arc a treat. Siegfried foodsalcs Isn t arc so popular, Keenan was sold out. With the break-in and Pangborn rcsidenLc; seems to be struggling to eke out a profit. It hoprs. The more yoil can aviod the dining They ~ire extremely'thiek and you get a lot bad, it's justthut Lheeffort is minimal. We Overall, we gave them three and half SUlrs. reportedly owing foodsales mucho dinero, was shut down for several weeks in the hall, the better. Another plus: the prices are more' ('or your money than you would at must admit though, it is the only place on beginning of the semester but seems to be extremely reasonable so even though you Pangborn necds 10 save all the money they Azar's. The service is friendly, they wil,l campus we've secn where we can. buy KNOTT: Like all the female mod quad making an attempt at a comeback.· The might cat there for lunch and dinner, the can in labor cosL<;. Three and a hal (' stars. even unscrew tough caps on the pop bottles Clearly Canadian. Two stars .. dorms, Knott's food sales is assigned a tiny. Lewis Chickens getstarpoints for effort, but pinch to your pocket won't be too bad. We for you. There is nowhere to sit at S1. room near' the hall lounge. The menu is Edwardo's but there is always the hall's they just ,can't compare with the gave it four stars. PASQUERJLLAEAST: Wewerenotabl~ SORIN: Father Sorin would be proud of the typical-pizza, pizza bagles,soft pretZels (a competition. We give them one star. to review P.E.'s foodsales because they clean and parietal-free TV lounge. After noble gents who slave over the .hot oven .in 14 SCHOLASTIC MARCH 21, 1991 15 foodsales was nonexistent, with just a bargin at .25 cents) and nachos. There's also LYONS: Why wait ~till 12:30 A.M. to MORRISSEY: If you're on South Quad stationary exercise bike parked in front of a prelly good selection of soda, chips and appease your munchies when you can have and in the mood for a great pizza, Morrissey the counter. Well, the bike is still there cookies. The pizza wasn't available for our an afternoon snack at Lyons' foodsales? is the place togo. After first ending in the (though around the comer), needed even review, but while the choice of toppings was Although the.menu is fairly conventional, mailroom looking for the basement stairs, more to work off the calories from their good. (mushrooms, green peppers, much of themediocraty can be overlooked we followed our noses and found the place. reopening which is dominated by a wide­ pepperoni and sausage), there was no pizza due to the factthaLLyons is open fodunch­ The search was worth it. Their 12" pizza range of candy. All the popular sweets are oven-any pizza Knott served would be yet another excuse to aviod the dining hall. gocsTor $4.00 and a small for $2.50, with available at prices a little better than the strictly the frozen variety. All in all a good­ Although the pizza is the garden variety vending machines. We passed on the candy toppings $0.25 each. We tried a pepperoni not spectacular-food sales: fine if you live muffin sort, it has Lasty sauce and is the but went for a couple of their cookies- huge and sausage combo. The sign on their door in the dorm, but definitely not worth a perfect size for one person. Much ofthefood things with your choice of M & M, peanut announced their new crust was gelling rave special visit We give them two and 1/2 items arc do-it-yourself: nachos, with a butter (with peanut chunks), and chocolate reviews. We agreed. The thick crust and stars. choice of spicy or mi Id cheese; soft pretzels; chips. At $0.50 each, they were a good hot, spicy sauce pleased our palates. Another and microwave burritos. Other menu items chewy, concoction when microwaved. plus is their 'zas arc made to order an~1 ca~ be LEWIS: Lewis, the dorm without a quad, is include cere~lI, shakes, malL<; and ice cream. Unfortunately, on our review night, they phoned in. We also sampled their pl.zza practically without a food sales, to boot The workers are exceptionally friendly and wereoutofbagel pizzas (priced atS2.(0) but cal zone, another great cheesy concoction. They're convieniently open on Sunday both because of the afternqon hours, the mini­ we tried their nachos. It was a typical plate Not in mood for "Italian" fast fare, in the afternoon before dinner, and after restaurant becomes the. place to meet and ~ith mozzarella cheese priced atSO.90. We Morrissey's got a big selection with hot dinner. Oddly enough, when we asked one grect betwecn classes. Lyons' also offers also got a special side cup of the spicy dogs, chili dogs, and sub's. We really loved of the residents where the food salse was juice, soda, granola bars and candy. A :'Bueno" cheese for an e~tra $0.15. The rest their 16 oz. sodas in the old-fashioned of their menu was small with few drink returnable bOllles ($0.75)- not just Pepsis choices, though large pretzels were also and Cokes, bllt also Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew and 7up. Though the dining area is available. They do have an account system, one of the reviewers let our cover sl ip as we' so if you're short on cash you can pay up roomy with a radio providing som~ were taking an extended spring break when entertainment, it's not overly clean (but their we were doing our reviews. Sorry P.E. were heading out, we were chased by the later. The atmosphere was fair with their owner cha<;tizing us for not getting our 'za adjoining lounge crammed with old desks first floor lounge has comfy chairs and sofas, maybe next time! if a bit dark). Morrissey's foodsales is open hot and fresh, not ordering the medium sfze and chairs. We gave them two stars. with their new thick crust, and not ordering late and weekends with daily bargain PASQUERILLA WEST: Due to lack of their nachos (we heard its got a special hot specials- check the door as you walk in. We patronage, terrible hours, and a negative KEENAN: North Dining Hall got you salsa). We'll leave that to you. Overall we give them four stars. cash flow P.W.'s foodsales sadly closed down? Try Keenan's foodsales just across gave them four stars. . the grass. They've got a great inviting their doors for the last time just before spring break. We hope that before our next review dining area. It's clean and comfortable with PANGBORN: Pangborn foodsales was SIEGFRIED: Siegfried foodsales suffers' some creative entrepreneurs will reopen it a wide-screen TV to catch the movie of the burglarized during spring break, but high from lack of a kitchen. Most of the goodies and be able to make it work. night while munching down their fresh­ demand still kept foodsales open when found here, such as cracker jacks, trail mix; popped popcorn. It comes in a generous bag, classes resumed. The foodsales is located in or pop-tarts, arc packaged. There are other a great deat at $0.25 a bag. Their pizza is the basement with a pool table and chairs ST. ED'S: We showed up at Santo standard foodsales items such nachos, soft' average (the crust nor the cheese'didn't and tables for dining relaxation. Although Edwardo's about forty minutes after our pretzels, and bagels. Bagels come in several. especially thrill us) with a 14" going for the crust was a bit thin, the pizza was pizza was ready. But even afterreheating, it forms such as plain, cream cheese" $4.50. YOII can also buy it by Ihe slice, satisfying and it was ready immediately still Lasted great. The crust is excellent and sandwich, and pizza. The pizza bagel is which is good if you can't swallow a whole after order. The pretzels areadeal,three for the pizza contains cheddar cheese which is nothing exciting, just Ragu and shredded pie or have no one to share it with. Also a dollar. The nachos on the other hand were different, but it still works. A variety of cheese smothered on top and thrown in the offered arc pizza bagels at a greHt price of located, she informed us that it was located definite highlight is the gourmet hot disappointing. Although the quantity was toppings can be added such as sausage, microwave. At $1.25, my stomach and 50.75 for two halves or SO.50 for one. in a 24-hour parietal zone-no boys chocolate in mint and mocha flavors. The impressive, the cheese sause was cold and pepperonni, or double sausage an~ doubl~ wallet fell deprived. There are two treats in They've got a fair selection of munchies, allowed. They offer a sparse menu adjoining kitchen/sitting room (where the the chiRS were a bit stale, like someone left 'roni (even pineapple for you tropIcal frUIt the foodsales, though. First is the hot including nachos with salsa. Dairy producLc; including candy, soda, nachos and, bagels. . microwave is located for the nachos, etc.) is, the chip bag open over spring break. The pizza topping fans.) Impressive is the chocolate at only .25 cents a cup, the drink are also offered for health conscious folks AlLhough THERE IS NO PIZZA, they do large enough to accomodate all of your variety could improve also. Only about five variety of drinks here. These include pop, comes through on cold days. Second is Aunt, (milk, yogurt, and cream cheese- for the offer a soggy pizza bagle substitute .. Bagles . closest friends. while .also providing a different food items could be purchased. juice, milkshakes, orange julius, and Beth's cookies, which come in peanut bagels). We were disappointed we didn't Pangborn foodsales is open only for an hour also come with cream cheese, a definitc., rclaxingplu~etoeal.. The outstanding "spittle", all under the heading of "fr~sty butter chocolate chip, or M&M. These get a chance to try the buffalo wings -they and a halfbulthat.'s probably good for them. I' . . , bonus. Lewis food sales ,is very small and feature of Lyons' food sales is its convenient libations". The milkshakes are outstandmg. morsels arc a treat. Siegfried foodsalcs Isn t arc so popular, Keenan was sold out. With the break-in and Pangborn rcsidenLc; seems to be struggling to eke out a profit. It hoprs. The more yoil can aviod the dining They ~ire extremely'thiek and you get a lot bad, it's justthut Lheeffort is minimal. We Overall, we gave them three and half SUlrs. reportedly owing foodsales mucho dinero, was shut down for several weeks in the hall, the better. Another plus: the prices are more' ('or your money than you would at must admit though, it is the only place on beginning of the semester but seems to be extremely reasonable so even though you Pangborn necds 10 save all the money they Azar's. The service is friendly, they wil,l campus we've secn where we can. buy KNOTT: Like all the female mod quad making an attempt at a comeback.· The might cat there for lunch and dinner, the can in labor cosL<;. Three and a hal (' stars. even unscrew tough caps on the pop bottles Clearly Canadian. Two stars .. dorms, Knott's food sales is assigned a tiny. Lewis Chickens getstarpoints for effort, but pinch to your pocket won't be too bad. We for you. There is nowhere to sit at S1. room near' the hall lounge. The menu is Edwardo's but there is always the hall's they just ,can't compare with the gave it four stars. PASQUERJLLAEAST: Wewerenotabl~ SORIN: Father Sorin would be proud of the typical-pizza, pizza bagles,soft pretZels (a competition. We give them one star. to review P.E.'s foodsales because they clean and parietal-free TV lounge. After noble gents who slave over the .hot oven .in 14 SCHOLASTIC MARCH 21, 1991 15 neat and clcan and open until 12:30 (thollgh Walls painted in primary colors andcurtains pizza-inaking stops at midnight). We gave in red gingham create a cozy atmosphere for them three and a half stars. eating or for socializing. Walsh gels awards for wonderful snacks and congenial WALSH: Walsh has the best popcorn on atmosphere. We;: give it four and 1/2stars. campus. It's better than Orville's and it comes in salted/unsalted, buttered/ ZAHM:Nodoilbt. If you're in the mood for unbuttered. Served in brown papcrbags, the pizza, Zahm's foodsales should be your portions are very· generous-our lips and destination. At $4.50 for a whole sausage or fingers were shrivelled by the time we $0.85 a slice (1/6 of a pizza), not only is this finished. If your appetite calls for more than pizza a good deal, but it is also the most popcorn, (which is not only delicious, but tasty-with crisp crust; zesty sauce, cheap) Walsh also serves enormous flavorful (not the usual dog food style) helpings of hand-packed ice cream. sausage, and a large helping of mozzarella (Cookies and Cream was the "/lavor of the night" when we were there.) Even though the icc cream and· the popcorn arc oUL<;tanding, the pizza is average at best. It is the do-it-yoilrself-in-the-microwave the foodsales of his namesake dorm. ranging from $1.75 to $7.25). With a good kind, and a little soggy. The nachos are just Although the location is poor and the seating . topping selection they can be made to' order O.K., too Although you are served an area nonexistent, th~ variety of menu items and called in from your room.. For enourmolls mound of delicious chips, the and the quality of the foocl makes. this somcthinga little different, you've got your cheese is pretty goopy and in need of foodsales well worth t~e extra walk. pick from an organized menu offering reheating. Anotherpius: Walsh hasa health As an appetizer, one might try the burritos, chimichangas, nachos, egg rolls, food menu including pickles, raisins, wheat breads ticks ($1.50)· with pizza sauce or and "bun length" hot dogs. Despite the. crackers and granola bars. The basementof nacho cheese sauc~ (our ,personal favorite). sparse atmosphere; ¥ourMother'sWhat? is this donn also wins points for atmosphere. , They warmed in the oven while you wait so that they are crispy on the outsid<;l and soft and warm on the inside. Next we would recommend ~he nachos. . . '" cheese on top. Also, unless you arrive at a They are either served with nacho cheese rare "off' time, pizza is ready andwaitingso, sauce orJor.a completely new taste (and a you can geta slice and get rightback to work.· total of $2.00) try pizza nachos. Covered with mozzarella cheese, pizza sauce and Other than the pizza, this is youraverage either pepperoni or sausage, they are a foodsales. They have a fairly good scfes:tion. of chips, candy, and socia ($0.60 for a 16.· creative and new twist to nachos~a must- ounce bottle), and serve Nachos for $1.00 a try. " plate· (we think they were topped with Sodas arc reasonable ($0.60) and a wide CheezWhiz) .. There is ample room to sit vru:iety is available. The pizza ($4.00) is while you eat, although the decor is less than good (fot foodsales). The crust and sausage . . lcave something to .be desir~I'(like a .real extravagant. , Zahm foodsales, nonetheless, is worth a crustand re.1Isausage), but the sUllce is spicy . and the cheese.is plentiful. try. ·This, in fact,isthe only place we liked Because oftheir innovations in. breadsticks so much we returned on our own later on and nachos, and.their pizza, we give Sorin a .during the week. The pizza gelS four or five stars, but overall we give it four slars. ' whopping 4-1/2 stars. Reviewed by Kristine DeGange. Patti STANFORD: Your Mother's What? Doyle. MariOkuda. Jim Fitzgerald. Mike provides ample space with the potential for a IVieber. Tony Porcelli. Paul Webb. fan good diriingarea but has only a pool table­ Mitchell. KateManuel with no cues. But don't let thill detcfyoll. Stanford offers better than average pizza in a range of 4 sizes from 7" to 16" (prices

16 SCHOLASTIC MARCH 21, 1991 17 neat and clcan and open until 12:30 (thollgh Walls painted in primary colors andcurtains pizza-inaking stops at midnight). We gave in red gingham create a cozy atmosphere for them three and a half stars. eating or for socializing. Walsh gels awards for wonderful snacks and congenial WALSH: Walsh has the best popcorn on atmosphere. We;: give it four and 1/2stars. campus. It's better than Orville's and it comes in salted/unsalted, buttered/ ZAHM:Nodoilbt. If you're in the mood for unbuttered. Served in brown papcrbags, the pizza, Zahm's foodsales should be your portions are very· generous-our lips and destination. At $4.50 for a whole sausage or fingers were shrivelled by the time we $0.85 a slice (1/6 of a pizza), not only is this finished. If your appetite calls for more than pizza a good deal, but it is also the most popcorn, (which is not only delicious, but tasty-with crisp crust; zesty sauce, cheap) Walsh also serves enormous flavorful (not the usual dog food style) helpings of hand-packed ice cream. sausage, and a large helping of mozzarella (Cookies and Cream was the "/lavor of the night" when we were there.) Even though the icc cream and· the popcorn arc oUL<;tanding, the pizza is average at best. It is the do-it-yoilrself-in-the-microwave the foodsales of his namesake dorm. ranging from $1.75 to $7.25). With a good kind, and a little soggy. The nachos are just Although the location is poor and the seating . topping selection they can be made to' order O.K., too Although you are served an area nonexistent, th~ variety of menu items and called in from your room.. For enourmolls mound of delicious chips, the and the quality of the foocl makes. this somcthinga little different, you've got your cheese is pretty goopy and in need of foodsales well worth t~e extra walk. pick from an organized menu offering reheating. Anotherpius: Walsh hasa health As an appetizer, one might try the burritos, chimichangas, nachos, egg rolls, food menu including pickles, raisins, wheat breads ticks ($1.50)· with pizza sauce or and "bun length" hot dogs. Despite the. crackers and granola bars. The basementof nacho cheese sauc~ (our ,personal favorite). sparse atmosphere; ¥ourMother'sWhat? is this donn also wins points for atmosphere. , They warmed in the oven while you wait so that they are crispy on the outsid<;l and soft and warm on the inside. Next we would recommend ~he nachos. . . '" cheese on top. Also, unless you arrive at a They are either served with nacho cheese rare "off' time, pizza is ready andwaitingso, sauce orJor.a completely new taste (and a you can geta slice and get rightback to work.· total of $2.00) try pizza nachos. Covered with mozzarella cheese, pizza sauce and Other than the pizza, this is youraverage either pepperoni or sausage, they are a foodsales. They have a fairly good scfes:tion. of chips, candy, and socia ($0.60 for a 16.· creative and new twist to nachos~a must- ounce bottle), and serve Nachos for $1.00 a try. " plate· (we think they were topped with Sodas arc reasonable ($0.60) and a wide CheezWhiz) .. There is ample room to sit vru:iety is available. The pizza ($4.00) is while you eat, although the decor is less than good (fot foodsales). The crust and sausage . . lcave something to .be desir~I'(like a .real extravagant. , Zahm foodsales, nonetheless, is worth a crustand re.1Isausage), but the sUllce is spicy . and the cheese.is plentiful. try. ·This, in fact,isthe only place we liked Because oftheir innovations in. breadsticks so much we returned on our own later on and nachos, and.their pizza, we give Sorin a .during the week. The pizza gelS four or five stars, but overall we give it four slars. ' whopping 4-1/2 stars. Reviewed by Kristine DeGange. Patti STANFORD: Your Mother's What? Doyle. MariOkuda. Jim Fitzgerald. Mike provides ample space with the potential for a IVieber. Tony Porcelli. Paul Webb. fan good diriingarea but has only a pool table­ Mitchell. KateManuel with no cues. But don't let thill detcfyoll. Stanford offers better than average pizza in a range of 4 sizes from 7" to 16" (prices

16 SCHOLASTIC MARCH 21, 1991 17 and wanted to create a new event that would ated rules the next year limiting the number as "Meatless Cheeseburgers, ND Girls, and appeal to the more athletic students on cam­ of varsity basketball players to one per team Three Other Slimy Things" and "Beer, pus, over and above the fun, but frivolous and total varsity athletes to three per team. Broads and Bookstore: Two Good Reasons events such as the Keg Toss and Jcllo Wres­ . The last major rule change occurred in 1979 to Go to Nolie Dame," team names from last tling that characterized most of the events of when the NCAA ruled that varsity basket­ spring, may not be theclassiestofnames, but Notre Dame's annual celebration of spring. ball players could not participate in Book­ a person on the inside can get a chuckle or Dubbed "The Bookstore Hysteria Tour­ store because it violated an obscure rule grimace in disgust (depending on their gen­ nament" and governed by the first commis­ governing off-season tournament play by der). The first team name, in fact, combines sioner, Meconi, Bookstore adopted its rules NCAA basketball players. Now those se- two problems at Notre Dame - dining hall from the un- derstood rules of pick­ up basket­ ball which are prevalent on so many courts in America, especially at sports-crazy Notre Dame. "Iron man fives" would compete­ that is, no substitutions for the whole game. If there was an injury, the team played on with only four players. The .games were to be played. in all weather, rain

Scholastic Photo Files or even snow (which often As the weather warms and "Domers" emerge from winter hibernation, falls in the early .spring Coming soon to a Bookstore court near you, "5 Guys Who Aren't Afraid to Wear Tutus w~i~e Playing Basketball," Bookstore Basketball, the annual Notre Dame rite of spring, heats up in the tropi­ a group of young men obviously in touch with their true selves (and their basketball ability!). calpara9ise of South Berid), to a score of21, win by two lectfew who do play varsity hoops must wait food, and male/female relations. baskets. All baskets were worth one point until after their last season, senior year, to John Austin, a senior this year, played for By Jon Paul Potts and players called their own fouls. All of participate in this event. And so, since "Monsters: Disciples of the Death Ball," in these rules are common on any court where Bookstore VII, the rules have not changed, Bookstore XIIX when he was a sophomore. Editor's Note: This article is a revised store" conjures up images of slamdunks and ball crazy for a period of five or six weeks pickup basketball is played, Meconi merely only the faces and ever-growing number of The team had an odd-looking sphere which and edited version of a paper the author jumpshots, and dreams of glory on the every spring? formalized the rules and adopted them to his teams. they kept in their room and they named their turned in for Dr. Barbara Allen in an Stepan basketball courts. What started as an The first ever Bookstore Basketball tour­ tournament. One of the most endearing aspects of team after it, developing a full-blown legend American studies department class in add-on to the events of An Tostal, the annual nament was played in the spring of 1972, The first champion of Bookstore was a Bookstore is the wonderfully wacky and to explain the "Death Ball." folklore. spring festival at Notre Dame, has blos­ making 1991 's version Bookstore XX. The team who dubbed themselves "The Family." descriptive names which the students come "It seems that the death ball originally ookstore. .• somed into the biggest basketball tourna­ brainchild of Fritz Hoefer and Vince Me­ They were four varsity basketball players, up with each year. The names reflect inside came from a volcano. It's been dated back to B For some, this is merely a building on ment anywhere in the world and a regular coni, Bookstore has grown from the original John Shumate, Dwight Clay, Gary Brokaw jokes or ideas of the people of Notre Dame. pre-man by scientists," explained the phi­ the South Quad of the Notre Dame campus cultural phenomenon. What function does it 53 teams to an astounding 703 teams last and Pete Crotty and Cliff Brown, the foot­ For instance, a fair amount of the names losophy major. "They hypothesize that it that charges exorbitant prices for textbooks. serve here at Notre Dame? And why is it the· spring. Hoefer and Meconi were student ball quarterback. This squad so dominated reflect the common gripes by Notre Dame came from a certain volcano in Egypt ... no For others, however, the very word "Book- whole student body suddenly goes basket- commissioners of An Tostal for 1971-1972 the tournament, however, that Meconi cre- . men aboutNotre Dame women. Teams such India. It was a piece of volcanic rock that got 18 SCHOLASTIC MARCH 21, 1991 19 and wanted to create a new event that would ated rules the next year limiting the number as "Meatless Cheeseburgers, ND Girls, and appeal to the more athletic students on cam­ of varsity basketball players to one per team Three Other Slimy Things" and "Beer, pus, over and above the fun, but frivolous and total varsity athletes to three per team. Broads and Bookstore: Two Good Reasons events such as the Keg Toss and Jcllo Wres­ . The last major rule change occurred in 1979 to Go to Nolie Dame," team names from last tling that characterized most of the events of when the NCAA ruled that varsity basket­ spring, may not be theclassiestofnames, but Notre Dame's annual celebration of spring. ball players could not participate in Book­ a person on the inside can get a chuckle or Dubbed "The Bookstore Hysteria Tour­ store because it violated an obscure rule grimace in disgust (depending on their gen­ nament" and governed by the first commis­ governing off-season tournament play by der). The first team name, in fact, combines sioner, Meconi, Bookstore adopted its rules NCAA basketball players. Now those se- two problems at Notre Dame - dining hall from the un- derstood rules of pick­ up basket­ ball which are prevalent on so many courts in America, especially at sports-crazy Notre Dame. "Iron man fives" would compete­ that is, no substitutions for the whole game. If there was an injury, the team played on with only four players. The .games were to be played. in all weather, rain

Scholastic Photo Files or even snow (which often As the weather warms and "Domers" emerge from winter hibernation, falls in the early .spring Coming soon to a Bookstore court near you, "5 Guys Who Aren't Afraid to Wear Tutus w~i~e Playing Basketball," Bookstore Basketball, the annual Notre Dame rite of spring, heats up in the tropi­ a group of young men obviously in touch with their true selves (and their basketball ability!). calpara9ise of South Berid), to a score of21, win by two lectfew who do play varsity hoops must wait food, and male/female relations. baskets. All baskets were worth one point until after their last season, senior year, to John Austin, a senior this year, played for By Jon Paul Potts and players called their own fouls. All of participate in this event. And so, since "Monsters: Disciples of the Death Ball," in these rules are common on any court where Bookstore VII, the rules have not changed, Bookstore XIIX when he was a sophomore. Editor's Note: This article is a revised store" conjures up images of slamdunks and ball crazy for a period of five or six weeks pickup basketball is played, Meconi merely only the faces and ever-growing number of The team had an odd-looking sphere which and edited version of a paper the author jumpshots, and dreams of glory on the every spring? formalized the rules and adopted them to his teams. they kept in their room and they named their turned in for Dr. Barbara Allen in an Stepan basketball courts. What started as an The first ever Bookstore Basketball tour­ tournament. One of the most endearing aspects of team after it, developing a full-blown legend American studies department class in add-on to the events of An Tostal, the annual nament was played in the spring of 1972, The first champion of Bookstore was a Bookstore is the wonderfully wacky and to explain the "Death Ball." folklore. spring festival at Notre Dame, has blos­ making 1991 's version Bookstore XX. The team who dubbed themselves "The Family." descriptive names which the students come "It seems that the death ball originally ookstore. .• somed into the biggest basketball tourna­ brainchild of Fritz Hoefer and Vince Me­ They were four varsity basketball players, up with each year. The names reflect inside came from a volcano. It's been dated back to B For some, this is merely a building on ment anywhere in the world and a regular coni, Bookstore has grown from the original John Shumate, Dwight Clay, Gary Brokaw jokes or ideas of the people of Notre Dame. pre-man by scientists," explained the phi­ the South Quad of the Notre Dame campus cultural phenomenon. What function does it 53 teams to an astounding 703 teams last and Pete Crotty and Cliff Brown, the foot­ For instance, a fair amount of the names losophy major. "They hypothesize that it that charges exorbitant prices for textbooks. serve here at Notre Dame? And why is it the· spring. Hoefer and Meconi were student ball quarterback. This squad so dominated reflect the common gripes by Notre Dame came from a certain volcano in Egypt ... no For others, however, the very word "Book- whole student body suddenly goes basket- commissioners of An Tostal for 1971-1972 the tournament, however, that Meconi cre- . men aboutNotre Dame women. Teams such India. It was a piece of volcanic rock that got 18 SCHOLASTIC MARCH 21, 1991 19 ...

!.hrown into the air so high that when itcame shower caps, green safety glasses, rubber appear on campus like that alone, but Book­ The University president Fr. Edward "Monk" down it got polished. And inside of it, there gloves and fluorescent green jockey briefs. store can bring out the best (or !.he worst!) of Malloy leads a team Into the tournament every developed !.his toxic gas from the volcano. Then to top it all off, they smeared the re­ Notre Dame's creative·energies~ year called "All the President's Men." And !.hus, it appears to be a ball. mainder of their mostly naked bodies with Mike Connor, a junior, played on a joke "Somehow, !.hrough !.he ages, a deadly­ Crisco Cooking Grease. Obviously high team in Bookstore XIX that featured a mot­ letic dreams. After all, 80 percent of all the looking face has been inscribed on it. And concept! Probably none of them would ley collection of hoopsters. undergraduates earned some type of varsity it's spiritually inhab- letter in high school. The student body as a ited; there's sort ofa whole is very competitive -- whether in !.he demon force that classroom or on the basketball court -- and dwells wi!.hin it. !.his great drive to win is evident in Book­ "So, before each store games. They can get very competitive game- and we played and some of !.he best stories people tell four- we would revolve around players who took !.his com­ huddle together and petitive nature one step too far. Pat Kelly, a have a little seance junior, tells of a game which football run­ with a star, an upside­ ning' back Ricky Watters played in last down star, in the spring. middle of us," he "During one particularly physical Book­ continued. "Then store game last year, !.he score had been tight, we'd roll !.he Death- . !.he whole game, and !.he game was coming Ball to the other team, to a close," he remembered. "Ricky Watters and invariably, !.he went up for a rebound against his opponent, team would be dis­ but when his opporient came down with' ihe tracted . by this, be­ ball, Watters tried to take a swipe at the ball. cause !.hey'd look into MariOkuda He slapped his opponent in !.he stomach, and the eyes. They'd just "We were all at Dancer's party one which surround Bookstore is !.hat it is a place !.hen proceeded to punch him !.hree times in be distraught for the night, drinkin' some brews, and we'd had a for frustrated athletes to play out their ath- succession in the stomach and shoulder! rest of the game, and few. Well, we saw little Anita "His opponent complained they dido't know (Anita is a girl who stands all to the ref, but no!.hing hap­ why. of 4'8") standing there, and pened," explained Kelly. "The only time we thought, 'Now wouldn't "The rest of the game was that it failed was that be funny if she were on a wild, and Watters team lost -­ against "Malicious basketball team! '" laughs and the crowd cheered!" Pros ti tu tion" (the Connor. "And we asked her, It would seem that lost in eventual champion). and 'she said Okay. And she this action are the women, bur They basically just thought it was funny because they assert themseives in the kicked !.he#@*% out she was drunk also. tournamen: ' There is it sepa­ of it, and blatantly "So we got together the rate tournament for the ignored it's powers. I worst basketball players women but, oftentimes, don't even know if who'd ever been assembled in women field teams in the' !.hey noticed it, and the history of man. Little men's tournament. In at­ !.hey beat us 21-5 and Anita, big Joe (who is 6'3"), tempting to break into a pretty broke one ofthe guy's me, Jay and Andy! We tight-knit male activity, noses on our team," wanted to go all the way! women . also express thcm~ he remembered. Seven games for five doilars!" selves through their team "When they ignored Thes~ five friends knew names. "Five Lewis Girls !.he. Death-Ball,. we that. they weren't basketball with Attitude Problems," kinda' knew that players, but they wanted to "Amazons from Hell" and some!.hing was awry, partiCIpate. Given a few "Five PW Girls Who Like to and from there, it was drinks, suddenly they were a Play with Boys," (names from all downhill." team, albeit it motley squad, Bookstore XIX) are creative Last year, "Pre­ and they had fun with it. Many reproaches to names such as Pubescent Ectomor­ of !.he team names probably those mentioned earlier which phic Zygotes" enter­ developed among friends after men. use' to disparage. the tained the crowd a few drinks got the creative women. playing their game juices flowing. After all these stories and wearing nothing but One of the great legends Lou Holtz dribbles through the rain In Bookstore XVII. anecdotes, one would have to

20 SCHOLASTIC . MARCH 21,1991 21 ...

!.hrown into the air so high that when itcame shower caps, green safety glasses, rubber appear on campus like that alone, but Book­ The University president Fr. Edward "Monk" down it got polished. And inside of it, there gloves and fluorescent green jockey briefs. store can bring out the best (or !.he worst!) of Malloy leads a team Into the tournament every developed !.his toxic gas from the volcano. Then to top it all off, they smeared the re­ Notre Dame's creative·energies~ year called "All the President's Men." And !.hus, it appears to be a ball. mainder of their mostly naked bodies with Mike Connor, a junior, played on a joke "Somehow, !.hrough !.he ages, a deadly­ Crisco Cooking Grease. Obviously high team in Bookstore XIX that featured a mot­ letic dreams. After all, 80 percent of all the looking face has been inscribed on it. And concept! Probably none of them would ley collection of hoopsters. undergraduates earned some type of varsity it's spiritually inhab- letter in high school. The student body as a ited; there's sort ofa whole is very competitive -- whether in !.he demon force that classroom or on the basketball court -- and dwells wi!.hin it. !.his great drive to win is evident in Book­ "So, before each store games. They can get very competitive game- and we played and some of !.he best stories people tell four- we would revolve around players who took !.his com­ huddle together and petitive nature one step too far. Pat Kelly, a have a little seance junior, tells of a game which football run­ with a star, an upside­ ning' back Ricky Watters played in last down star, in the spring. middle of us," he "During one particularly physical Book­ continued. "Then store game last year, !.he score had been tight, we'd roll !.he Death- . !.he whole game, and !.he game was coming Ball to the other team, to a close," he remembered. "Ricky Watters and invariably, !.he went up for a rebound against his opponent, team would be dis­ but when his opporient came down with' ihe tracted . by this, be­ ball, Watters tried to take a swipe at the ball. cause !.hey'd look into MariOkuda He slapped his opponent in !.he stomach, and the eyes. They'd just "We were all at Dancer's party one which surround Bookstore is !.hat it is a place !.hen proceeded to punch him !.hree times in be distraught for the night, drinkin' some brews, and we'd had a for frustrated athletes to play out their ath- succession in the stomach and shoulder! rest of the game, and few. Well, we saw little Anita "His opponent complained they dido't know (Anita is a girl who stands all to the ref, but no!.hing hap­ why. of 4'8") standing there, and pened," explained Kelly. "The only time we thought, 'Now wouldn't "The rest of the game was that it failed was that be funny if she were on a wild, and Watters team lost -­ against "Malicious basketball team! '" laughs and the crowd cheered!" Pros ti tu tion" (the Connor. "And we asked her, It would seem that lost in eventual champion). and 'she said Okay. And she this action are the women, bur They basically just thought it was funny because they assert themseives in the kicked !.he#@*% out she was drunk also. tournamen: ' There is it sepa­ of it, and blatantly "So we got together the rate tournament for the ignored it's powers. I worst basketball players women but, oftentimes, don't even know if who'd ever been assembled in women field teams in the' !.hey noticed it, and the history of man. Little men's tournament. In at­ !.hey beat us 21-5 and Anita, big Joe (who is 6'3"), tempting to break into a pretty broke one ofthe guy's me, Jay and Andy! We tight-knit male activity, noses on our team," wanted to go all the way! women . also express thcm~ he remembered. Seven games for five doilars!" selves through their team "When they ignored Thes~ five friends knew names. "Five Lewis Girls !.he. Death-Ball,. we that. they weren't basketball with Attitude Problems," kinda' knew that players, but they wanted to "Amazons from Hell" and some!.hing was awry, partiCIpate. Given a few "Five PW Girls Who Like to and from there, it was drinks, suddenly they were a Play with Boys," (names from all downhill." team, albeit it motley squad, Bookstore XIX) are creative Last year, "Pre­ and they had fun with it. Many reproaches to names such as Pubescent Ectomor­ of !.he team names probably those mentioned earlier which phic Zygotes" enter­ developed among friends after men. use' to disparage. the tained the crowd a few drinks got the creative women. playing their game juices flowing. After all these stories and wearing nothing but One of the great legends Lou Holtz dribbles through the rain In Bookstore XVII. anecdotes, one would have to

20 SCHOLASTIC . MARCH 21,1991 21 -

, wonder, why all the fuss about a basketball was going on they were running around and that these guys didn't understand any Eng­ Ii : ! tournament? "Domers" are a select group. talking in some Oriental language. We lish! 'I Notre Dame is a relatively small school couldn't understand anything they were "They looked at him, then they looked at when you consider some of the massive saying, and they were actually winning at each other and started to laugh because they So, you think you're pretty funny, 'I public institutions in the Midwest which halftime, something like 11-10. ... Now knew what the deal was - the deal was we surround it Yet Notre Dame has a higher na­ these guys were alI about this tall (about were an illegal team," he said. "So they went e.'h? Gotta gripe to get off your chest? tional profile than any of these. Why? 5'6")! running over to the officials, and, sure Because of athletics. The football and, bas­ "In the second half we got serious and enough, we had to forfeit. I couldn't believe Want to make enemies on campus ketball programs reflecta it!" sports crazy student body The outside has taken really, really fast? Then contribute that finds an. almost ca­ notiCe of Notre Dame's • thartic release through the little basketball tourna­ to this year's Sarcastic Issue. Ideas many athletic programs ment In 1981, the na­ on campus - from in­ tional sports cable net­ NOW being accepted for this terhal( full-contact foot­ work ESPN approached • ball to the grandaddy of the tournament commis­ journalistic bastion of aggression them all, the cherished sioner about televising Bookstore Basketball. the final game to a na­ relief! Call Mike Wieber for further Domers participate in and tional audience. The watch sports constantly; it commissioner Rob Si­ info' at 239-7569 or 283-1663. Want is vital to a true Notre mari turned this offer • Dameexistence. Even the down. To accommodate to remain anonymous? Slide ideas ii Ii UIliversity president, Fa­ their network schedule, ,! ther Edward "Monk" ESPN requested that the under ,the door of 303 LaFortune. Malloy participatesannu­ championship be played "jI ally in BookstOre as cap­ .' on Tuesday night, instead ,I tain of"All thePresident's of the customary final ,I Men." 'I Sunday afternoon of An " Another important Tosta!. The commis­ j:l :i value reflected in Book­ sioner, in a bold move, H store is the great Notre 'I rejected the offer on the >11 Dame sense of commu­ grounds that it was not in -,1 nity. ,Anyone affiliated the true spirit of Book­ -1 with the school, from store which frowns on fA 1r1r1EN1rJI([))N~ undergrads and dining rescheduling ofgames for hall workers, to 40-year any reason. To change the STUDENT ,CLUBS and old professors can partici­ date of the championship 1-80 at Exit 77 pate. Yet" outsiders are for a national audience ORGANIZATIONS 52825 us, 33 N. excluded and the rules are would be unthinkable. South Bend, IN very strict about this par­ . "Domers" were playing ticipation. A long-time their tournament, and Scholastic is again 272-9000 participant and employee ' they would not change of the university recalls a their plans for a paltry sending out a summer humorous story from his national television ap­ *FREECONTINENTALBREAKFAST Bookstore days. ' pearance. issue to all the new, *PRNATE IN ROOM JACUZZI SPAS "The funniest thing BO,okstore BaSketball that ever happened to me ' Marl Okuda incoming freshmen. *FREE HBO, CNN, ESPN If you are a partlclpant,an avId supporter of your favorite team, or Just is a vital pari or what' , in Bookstore happened a *IN ROOM MOVIESNCR (over 50 titles) curIous, check out the actIon and particIpate In a great Notre 'Dame . , Notre Dame is all about few years ago," recalled tradItion, Bookstore XX. ' Ifyou are a freshman, orif *FREE LOCAL CALLS the 'person who preferred you've lived under a rock " Interested in advertising in *KrrCHENEITFS notto be nam~d. "I was playi~g with a friend started playing some ball, and we ended up during your springs here at Notre Dame, this issue? ,Contact Dave ' of mine an~ his three sons, who could play, *LAUNDRY winning. Well, one of the kids went up to check out the ~ction. As the tournament Chmiel at 239-7,569 or stop but were ail still in high ~chool. We played one of these. Asian guys after the game and hurtles toward' the exciting championship by one game and won, and then we played our started running his mouth, saying, you game on April 28, take a walk out to Stepan, Scholastic's office, 303 LaFortune. second game. ' , II know, 'We beat you guys, you can't even Lyons or the Bookstore courts and partici~ -III'" Office hours are 2-5, Monday-Friday. PRIVATE ,IN ROOM SPAS "The learn was a team of five Asians, speak English! We're not even Notre Dame pate in or just watch the Notre Dame tradi­ m...• maybe Japanese or Chinese, and as the game students, we're in high schooH' He thought tion that is Bookstore. 0 22 SCHOLASTIC

" -

, wonder, why all the fuss about a basketball was going on they were running around and that these guys didn't understand any Eng­ Ii : ! tournament? "Domers" are a select group. talking in some Oriental language. We lish! 'I Notre Dame is a relatively small school couldn't understand anything they were "They looked at him, then they looked at when you consider some of the massive saying, and they were actually winning at each other and started to laugh because they So, you think you're pretty funny, 'I public institutions in the Midwest which halftime, something like 11-10. ... Now knew what the deal was - the deal was we surround it Yet Notre Dame has a higher na­ these guys were alI about this tall (about were an illegal team," he said. "So they went e.'h? Gotta gripe to get off your chest? tional profile than any of these. Why? 5'6")! running over to the officials, and, sure Because of athletics. The football and, bas­ "In the second half we got serious and enough, we had to forfeit. I couldn't believe Want to make enemies on campus ketball programs reflecta it!" sports crazy student body The outside has taken really, really fast? Then contribute that finds an. almost ca­ notiCe of Notre Dame's • thartic release through the little basketball tourna­ to this year's Sarcastic Issue. Ideas many athletic programs ment In 1981, the na­ on campus - from in­ tional sports cable net­ NOW being accepted for this terhal( full-contact foot­ work ESPN approached • ball to the grandaddy of the tournament commis­ journalistic bastion of aggression them all, the cherished sioner about televising Bookstore Basketball. the final game to a na­ relief! Call Mike Wieber for further Domers participate in and tional audience. The watch sports constantly; it commissioner Rob Si­ info' at 239-7569 or 283-1663. Want is vital to a true Notre mari turned this offer • Dameexistence. Even the down. To accommodate to remain anonymous? Slide ideas ii Ii UIliversity president, Fa­ their network schedule, ,! ther Edward "Monk" ESPN requested that the under ,the door of 303 LaFortune. Malloy participatesannu­ championship be played "jI ally in BookstOre as cap­ .' on Tuesday night, instead ,I tain of"All thePresident's of the customary final ,I Men." 'I Sunday afternoon of An " Another important Tosta!. The commis­ j:l :i value reflected in Book­ sioner, in a bold move, H store is the great Notre 'I rejected the offer on the >11 Dame sense of commu­ grounds that it was not in -,1 nity. ,Anyone affiliated the true spirit of Book­ -1 with the school, from store which frowns on fA 1r1r1EN1rJI([))N~ undergrads and dining rescheduling ofgames for hall workers, to 40-year any reason. To change the STUDENT ,CLUBS and old professors can partici­ date of the championship 1-80 at Exit 77 pate. Yet" outsiders are for a national audience ORGANIZATIONS 52825 us, 33 N. excluded and the rules are would be unthinkable. South Bend, IN very strict about this par­ . "Domers" were playing ticipation. A long-time their tournament, and Scholastic is again 272-9000 participant and employee ' they would not change of the university recalls a their plans for a paltry sending out a summer humorous story from his national television ap­ *FREECONTINENTALBREAKFAST Bookstore days. ' pearance. issue to all the new, *PRNATE IN ROOM JACUZZI SPAS "The funniest thing BO,okstore BaSketball that ever happened to me ' Marl Okuda incoming freshmen. *FREE HBO, CNN, ESPN If you are a partlclpant,an avId supporter of your favorite team, or Just is a vital pari or what' , in Bookstore happened a *IN ROOM MOVIESNCR (over 50 titles) curIous, check out the actIon and particIpate In a great Notre 'Dame . , Notre Dame is all about few years ago," recalled tradItion, Bookstore XX. ' Ifyou are a freshman, orif *FREE LOCAL CALLS the 'person who preferred you've lived under a rock " Interested in advertising in *KrrCHENEITFS notto be nam~d. "I was playi~g with a friend started playing some ball, and we ended up during your springs here at Notre Dame, this issue? ,Contact Dave ' of mine an~ his three sons, who could play, *LAUNDRY winning. Well, one of the kids went up to check out the ~ction. As the tournament Chmiel at 239-7,569 or stop but were ail still in high ~chool. We played one of these. Asian guys after the game and hurtles toward' the exciting championship by one game and won, and then we played our started running his mouth, saying, you game on April 28, take a walk out to Stepan, Scholastic's office, 303 LaFortune. second game. ' , II know, 'We beat you guys, you can't even Lyons or the Bookstore courts and partici~ -III'" Office hours are 2-5, Monday-Friday. PRIVATE ,IN ROOM SPAS "The learn was a team of five Asians, speak English! We're not even Notre Dame pate in or just watch the Notre Dame tradi­ m...• maybe Japanese or Chinese, and as the game students, we're in high schooH' He thought tion that is Bookstore. 0 22 SCHOLASTIC

" Next Year's WE. \.\E.L..P -mE. W£,j.J~p ~E Et-.1VIRONMEt-.Ir f)JVIROI>JM~T BY ElY COI\lSUMI~G CONSlJMI~G \...OTS OF L.E:S5· ENVI R.O~Mo-rr-At.-LY GSU Agenda SAFt PRODUCTS.'

Graduate Student Union President Kurt Mills shares his plans for thefuture

irst and foremost, Vice-President In addition, an area where there is can go for medical and other advice, and find F Karen Slawner and I would like to ex­ great potential for improvement is in support a nonthreatening atmosphere for the discus­ press our gratitude to the graduate student for professional development. To a large sion of their concerns. Most major colleges body for electing us to serve you next year. degree, this includes training for teaching. and universities have some sort of women's We hope we are able to live up to the confi­ The adminislration has been very supportive center, and we will further explore the pos­ dence expreSsed in our abilities. There are this year of the GSU's Professional Devel­ sibility of establishing one on campus. several issues which we perceive as being opment Seminar, and we will work with Finally, while there have been ~'Cla:kCPS important to graduate students as well as to them to. develop a more institutionalized many activities sponsored by the GSU So­ the U!1iversity as a whole which we plan to program of training, either in the form of de­ cial Committee, there is still a need for a Retarded· SpecK.- £I)~1e ·Whtte.y- Krau.t·Ni~e.r·K1ke.·Hynr work on during our tenure in office. partmental programs or a university teach­ permanent social space for graduate stu­ 1:\:2£ atlddwnb· r'a.OtTCK· O.1.E!~~' '. 1.-l.::Jtro· 'Dyke· G.oy. 'Flame.r· First, the University is working to­ ing center, or both. This would help not only dents. There is a real possibility that Wilson CripP.e.d· ~ai:d ~:;'t: ..... -:" : ,; .'.' ~ J ·Whit~, ColoY'r 1· G.ccir.. 13' wards developing Notre Dame as a majorre­ graduate students, but undergraduates as Commons will be turned over to theGSU for Lootle.y ·1&:.'!.~iui,J· . ::~r1:;' ing the graduate school. Thus, we see this as We would also like to see more support for sity support to renovate Wilson Commons, ~'ie.'UJQ.lJS.' \.:1w..L ,I".". .' I,' .. a very opportune time to discuss and get ac­ other professional development activities possibly 'including a snack shop along the Jiga~ . 'W.ail,.p,:' tion on several issues directly related to such as conference attendance. lines of what the Law School has, and make Bckalt1'ltlJ' ...,.,"':~\:":: graduate academic life. This includes, first, Several other non-academic issues it a more permanent place where graduate Chink· "F\~~I~'1 :;: the institution of a minimum level for all will be on the agenda for the next year. First, students can gather. Over thenexi y~ar we Spk ·1a\\1e)\' .. ":.' stipends throughout the University. The ad­ we will be making recommendations to the will work to implement this proposal. ministration has made a commitment to this administration regarding changes in Du Lac We feel'that there are many possi­ Mick .Yd~~; (1:-· .: ' and we hope to see this implemented by the which we feel are necessary to recognize the bilities for graduate students to participate in Jap • u.cke~ ·.~l~~"'" end of our term .. Another concern for gradu­ fact that graduate students have sole respon­ the ongoing development of their overall "Da@P • 'Be8!l~.lI...U"". ate students is that of summer funding. sibility for their lives and are able to make graduate experience. Our agenda shows the Wop· Cttf'··Jtc. ..· , Many other universities have such funding, intelligent, moral decisions regarding their possibilities we sec for responding to gradu"' bmey . Col1gre'~~'1'?'~ either in the form of fellowships or assistant­ personal lives on their own without Univer­ ate student needs. At the same time, we will ships, and we feel that in order to be a sity interference. Second, the issue of be open to other suggestions from students Frog' - Greato"· .. competitive graduate institution, as well as daycare is a perennial problem, and we hope and hope to include'more graduate students Yank . torcYll!~\~-'f to ensure that graduate students can make to see some sort of day care system worked in thedecision-makingprocess. Onceagain, R~hE: ... i - JI.:. '~~l:.~'lf! ' speedy progress toward their degrees, sum­ out.. This might be in the form of a Univer­ we thank the graduate students for their mer funding is vital. We are especially sity-sponsored daycare center or a coopera­ expression of suppott and look forward to a Ni.u1~~'~I.~ interested in seeing the opportuni'ties for tive of students and faculty. Third, therehas fruitful year. 0 0Jnei JQ.2. ; students to engage in research for professors been a need felt on the part of many women By Graduate Student Union President over the summer increase. at the University fora center where women Kurt Mills

24 SCHOLASTIC Next Year's WE. \.\E.L..P -mE. W£,j.J~p ~E Et-.1VIRONMEt-.Ir f)JVIROI>JM~T BY ElY COI\lSUMI~G CONSlJMI~G \...OTS OF L.E:S5· ENVI R.O~Mo-rr-At.-LY GSU Agenda SAFt PRODUCTS.'

Graduate Student Union President Kurt Mills shares his plans for thefuture

irst and foremost, Vice-President In addition, an area where there is can go for medical and other advice, and find F Karen Slawner and I would like to ex­ great potential for improvement is in support a nonthreatening atmosphere for the discus­ press our gratitude to the graduate student for professional development. To a large sion of their concerns. Most major colleges body for electing us to serve you next year. degree, this includes training for teaching. and universities have some sort of women's We hope we are able to live up to the confi­ The adminislration has been very supportive center, and we will further explore the pos­ dence expreSsed in our abilities. There are this year of the GSU's Professional Devel­ sibility of establishing one on campus. several issues which we perceive as being opment Seminar, and we will work with Finally, while there have been ~'Cla:kCPS important to graduate students as well as to them to. develop a more institutionalized many activities sponsored by the GSU So­ the U!1iversity as a whole which we plan to program of training, either in the form of de­ cial Committee, there is still a need for a Retarded· SpecK.- £I)~1e ·Whtte.y- Krau.t·Ni~e.r·K1ke.·Hynr work on during our tenure in office. partmental programs or a university teach­ permanent social space for graduate stu­ 1:\:2£ atlddwnb· r'a.OtTCK· O.1.E!~~' '. 1.-l.::Jtro· 'Dyke· G.oy. 'Flame.r· First, the University is working to­ ing center, or both. This would help not only dents. There is a real possibility that Wilson CripP.e.d· ~ai:d ~:;'t: ..... -:" : ,; .'.' ~ J ·Whit~, ColoY'r 1· G.ccir.. 13' wards developing Notre Dame as a majorre­ graduate students, but undergraduates as Commons will be turned over to theGSU for Lootle.y ·1&:.'!.~iui,J· . ::~r1:;' ing the graduate school. Thus, we see this as We would also like to see more support for sity support to renovate Wilson Commons, ~'ie.'UJQ.lJS.' \.:1w..L ,I".". .' I,' .. a very opportune time to discuss and get ac­ other professional development activities possibly 'including a snack shop along the Jiga~ . 'W.ail,.p,:' tion on several issues directly related to such as conference attendance. lines of what the Law School has, and make Bckalt1'ltlJ' ...,.,"':~\:":: graduate academic life. This includes, first, Several other non-academic issues it a more permanent place where graduate Chink· "F\~~I~'1 :;: the institution of a minimum level for all will be on the agenda for the next year. First, students can gather. Over thenexi y~ar we Spk ·1a\\1e)\' .. ":.' stipends throughout the University. The ad­ we will be making recommendations to the will work to implement this proposal. ministration has made a commitment to this administration regarding changes in Du Lac We feel'that there are many possi­ Mick .Yd~~; (1:-· .: ' and we hope to see this implemented by the which we feel are necessary to recognize the bilities for graduate students to participate in Jap • u.cke~ ·.~l~~"'" end of our term .. Another concern for gradu­ fact that graduate students have sole respon­ the ongoing development of their overall "Da@P • 'Be8!l~.lI...U"". ate students is that of summer funding. sibility for their lives and are able to make graduate experience. Our agenda shows the Wop· Cttf'··Jtc. ..· , Many other universities have such funding, intelligent, moral decisions regarding their possibilities we sec for responding to gradu"' bmey . Col1gre'~~'1'?'~ either in the form of fellowships or assistant­ personal lives on their own without Univer­ ate student needs. At the same time, we will ships, and we feel that in order to be a sity interference. Second, the issue of be open to other suggestions from students Frog' - Greato"· .. competitive graduate institution, as well as daycare is a perennial problem, and we hope and hope to include'more graduate students Yank . torcYll!~\~-'f to ensure that graduate students can make to see some sort of day care system worked in thedecision-makingprocess. Onceagain, R~hE: ... i - JI.:. '~~l:.~'lf! ' speedy progress toward their degrees, sum­ out.. This might be in the form of a Univer­ we thank the graduate students for their mer funding is vital. We are especially sity-sponsored daycare center or a coopera­ expression of suppott and look forward to a Ni.u1~~'~I.~ interested in seeing the opportuni'ties for tive of students and faculty. Third, therehas fruitful year. 0 0Jnei JQ.2. ; students to engage in research for professors been a need felt on the part of many women By Graduate Student Union President over the summer increase. at the University fora center where women Kurt Mills

24 SCHOLASTIC Dinner Theater presented by The Alpha-Omega Players

Featuring an Evening of Fun, Wit, and Comedy! Same crime, e~t :Year

GRAB ONE!

Monday, March 25 Alumni-Senior Club Tickets: $6 at LaFortune Dinner: 6:30 pm Show: 8:00 pm STUDENT UNION BOARD

The dinner will be catered by Spaghetti Works.