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The Student Newspaper of Imperial College

1 JJ JJ 1 ilIssu e 959 26th February 1993

Steward fracas Homophobic Hassle by Declan Curry became increasing violent as it Up to five members of Imperial approached Beit Arch. Rebecca College Union staff were assaulted Land, a Steward, and David in a 'near- riot' situation in Beit Henderson- Begg, a member of Quad last weekend. Imperial ICU Bar Staff, arrived as the group College Security apparently failed reached the Arch. to respond to calls for assistance Mr Wilkinson closed the gates from the Stewards. The incident has between the Arch and Prince provoked another internal review of Consort Road, while Miss Land Union security. moved other students and guests The series of attacks took place away from the fracas. Mr in a running brawl which developed Newhouse tried to restrain one of till! early on Saturday morning. Just the group attacking Mr Govier, and after 2.15am, an unidentified young was himself punched. Another of male was hit a heavy blow to the the group attempted to strike Mr rear of his head. His assailant, a Newhouse, but he was restrained by 5'4" male, was removed from the Miss Land, who was physically building by Simon Govier, a Union threatened. Mr Wilkinson moved Steward, and Dominic Wilkinson, away from the gates, which were a sabbatical officer. The male, who then opened. The group escaped was not believed to be a student, through the open gates. Mr was asked by Mr Govier to show Newhouse's glasses were damaged, positive identification. He refused and Mr Govier lost his watch in the to do so, and mumbled that he was scuffles. One of the defaced posters found in Selkirk Hall a guest of the band playing in the The incident was reported to Ents lounge. It is now thought that Union authorities on Monday by D.Spooner and G. Light single culprit being suspected over the assailant was admitted to the morning. As a result of an internal One of the presidential candidates the incidence in Selkirk. Union Building after signing the security review, the 'paid guest list' in the forthcoming sabbatical When asked if he thought the 'paid guest list'. has now been scrapped. This list elections is at the centre of candidate was being victimised, While the man refused to produce allowed friends and guests of the controversy this week. Miss Rachel Dominic Wilkinson, Honorary identification, a group of five others band, or guests of the Union, to Mountford, a third year civil Secretary (Events) said there was no gathered around Mr Govier and Mr attend functions for the normal fee. engineering student and this year's evidence of a deliberate smear Wilkinson. Scuffles broke out when The current 'signing in list', where rag chairperson, claims that a campaign, adding that 'Anybody the man grabbed Mr Govier by the Union members can sign in two concerted smear campaign has been found sabotaging or defacing throat. Mr Govier called for guests, and reciprocal members one directed against her by unspecified posters will be dealt with as assistance over his security radio, guest, is unaffected. The decision members of college. appropriate'. Mr Andrew Wensley, and he and Mr Wilkinson tried to to scrap the 'paid guest list' was Miss Mountford alleges removal Miss Mountford's opponent in the stop the group from leaving the apparendy suggested by Andy Kerr, and defacement of election publicity presidential election, said he had Quad. Ents chairman. posters, with her sexuality being the been aware of the anti-gay lobby, As the group moved towards the College security is also reported specific issue targeted. Independent and that trying to make a political centre of the Quad, Steven to have tightened security for Friday witnesses later confirmed that there issue out of sexuality was Newhouse, another Union Steward, nights. Felix understands that two was homophobic propaganda on her 'disgraceful'. Miss Mountford was arrived to assist Mr Govier. At this College security officers will be on posters in Selkirk Hall. Miss unavailable for comment. point, Mr Govier was restraining duty in Beit Arch each Friday. Only Mountford herself, and other Further developments in the the assailant, who grabbed him by one College security officer was on independent witnesses have also sabbatical race concern the the hair, kicking and punching him. duty last Friday. Union Stewards cited examples in the Royal School candidates for the position of Mr Govier was also punched by will be briefed on crowd control of Mines and Civil Engineering. Honorary Secretary (Events), with others among the group. The melee later this week by Rick Bilby, Similar handwriting has led to a Charles Leary out of the running.

7 9 10/11 14-17 Rag Rag Russian Reviews Returns Revenge Baskets Round-up N ews 26 February 1993 Felix 959 Turner turmoil

In a highly controversial move, the includes 2 Shakespeare folios and Tory MP Judith Royal Holloway College has this the earliest English printing by week sold its masterpiece, a Turner, Wynkyn de Worde. Mr Christopher to the John Paul Getty Museum in Foley, Managing Director of Lane California, for £11 million. This Fine Art, decided 12 years ago to Chaplin dies at Mary's has led to the resignation of one of leave the thousand books to the the 25 members of the ruling College in his will. Following the council of RHC. sale, he has written the RHC out of by Ian Davies in that year's General Election, she The Turner was part of a his will, leaving the amassed works Judith Chaplin, the Conservative was elected MP for the safe collection of 77 paintings to his sons. MP for Newbury, died at St Mary's Conservative seat of Newbury, in bequeathed to the College by Royal Holloway College looks Hospital last Friday. Mrs Chaplin place of the retiring Sir Michael Thomas Holloway, the College's set to sell another two paintings died following complications McNair-Wilson. Mrs Chaplin had founder. The College's action has which are expected to raise another arising from routine minor surgery. a majority of 12,357 over the been felt to be against the wishes of £9 million, towards an endowment A Cambridge economics Liberal Democrat candidate. No the donor. Professor Geoffrey fund for the maintenance and graduate, Mrs Chaplin became John date has yet been set for the by- Alderman, who resigned from the refurbishment of the College. The Major's Political Secretary when he election, which must take place ruling council in protest said, 'such principal, Professor Norman Gowar succeeded Nigel Lawson as within the next three months. sales are a gross and unforgivable said, 'Naturally we are sad that we Chancellor of the Exchequer. When The Prime Minister, who said breach of trust'. have had to make the sale at all, but Mr Major became Prime Minister Mrs Chaplin would have had a As a result, the College looks set the cost of preserving Thomas in 1990, Mrs Chaplin remained as 'wonderful career', was saddened to lose a collection of a thousand Holloway's main benefaction left us his Political Secretary. She resigned at the loss of 'a dear friend and a historical books. This hoard with no alternative.' from this post in March 1992, and trusted advisor'. Catering £]4 million short Nicked

An attempted bicycle theft was stopped in Imperial College last Friday 19th February. The incident took place after a bike was left next to a van full of Police behind Central Libraries. On observing the theft, the police quickly apprehended the young man as he was making his escape. Later, Terry Briley, Deputy Head of College security, said he was pleased at this 'active reduction' of cycle theft in College. Mr Briley added his thanks to all the people who had cooperated during the Mountbatten Services at the Royal Albert Hall last week.

Southside Bar yesterday. by Gareth Light year, some 7 per cent down on their justified by caution, if in this case Davidson refused to be drawn News Editor projected income. unfounded. except to say that 'ICU was not at The Imperial College Catering The College's Bar and Catering Gordon Marshall, in overall fault.' department has lost approximately Advisory Committee has control of catering, has been Roger Pownell, Southside's £450,000 over the last financial complained to ICU about there rumoured to be interested in manager, refused to comment on year it was revealed this week, and being unfair competition due to the offering the college's contract out the size of the reputed losses, but may be related to the financial number of 'happy hours' and other to private tenure - possibly to ICU, did say that 'Southside is misunderstanding that closed promotions available in the Union but Rodney Eastwood of the Bar desperately in need of Linstead Hall's bar this Tuesday. Building which displaces trade from and Catering Advisory Committee refurbishment,'and that 'the This department has had a history Southside. Allegations as to the has said that 'There is no intention recession is also a major factor in of financial difficulties and in an motives behind the closure of of going outside' of the college for any losses ensued.' attempt to rectify the situation, Mr Linstead Hall's bar earlier this week these services. This does not Mr Westerman, who is currently Simon Westerman was appointed being an attempt to curb this exclude ICU. at home on holiday, was unavailable Catering manager two years ago. competition appear unfounded. As In an interview with Felix, ICU for comment. However, Linstead The service to students, in spite of Mr Westerman is a licensee of all president Chris Davidson told us bar was reopened this Tuesday with this, has remained under constant the hall bars, the financial errors that 'ICU, in it's present form, is the Catering Department reputedly criticism, and competition from the that initiated the closure may reflect incapable of undertaking such a 'eating their hats' according to one ICU's bar, Da Vinci's, has done on him personally and his future huge contract due to it's size. It may Linstead Re-app. nothing to aid their plight. licence tenability. Mr Westerman is be possible in ten years time, but Southside bar has reputedly lost in not in direct control of these bars certainly not now. Over the issue of the region of £25000 so far this and so the closure may have been Southside's loss of custom, Mr

Page 2 Opinion Felix 959 26 February 1993 Editorial Weeks weak problems never fully corrected. student want to spend his thesis broke down on the long-suffering Recently it came to my attention If this rumour is even remotely describing how to survive Imperial members of staff who work in that new residents in Weeks Hall near the truth, every member of the College halls. This ridiculous Felix. Normal service could be have been informed by their College Estates division should situation cannot continue for one back at a later date. wardens that they should not have immediately commit themselves to moment longer, and for those of Credits too many people in their rooms. ritual suicide. It is ludicrous that you who live in Weeks, tread News: Gareth, Declan, Andrew, This is fair enough, order must be such a deathtrap be allow to contain carefully. Jacob, David Spooner. Reviews: upheld, but as long as you have a any human being, let alone those Technophobia Sara, Mario, Richard, Phil, group of friends around to chat until who are meant to be the cream of This has not been an easy week for Kristine, Ian 'Poddy' Davies, four in the morning and, provided our scientific and engineering the Print Unit. Taking a casual David, Glyph. Features: Annette. they don't make too much noise, no talent. That this state of affairs has glance around the office, it is much Clubs and Sports: Ismail and one really minds. gone on for so long is unforgivable, easier to Count those pieces of Sarmad. What's on: James, Wrong. The reason that you are and should be rectified equipment which have seen fit to Poddy, not allowed to have large numbers immediately. end the week in a condition that Thanks: Simon. James, Rose, of people in your own room in I cannot deny that this sort of could be described as 'working'. As Andy, ChrisRickDom, Beccy Weeks Hall is because you and your change costs money, but compared you may have gathered, I am 'Bland' Land, Steve Newhouse, mates could end up crashing to the alternative it would be a making excuses; Felix will very Joe Baguley, Josh, Mike through the floor, and into the room pittance. If one such floor-crashing probably be late this week, and you Chamberlin, Alex T, Ian Hodge, below. If there are only a few incident were to occur and the event poor souls could be reading this Whiskas the Mouse, Greg lies, people present, it is advised that you hit National Press, we might as well issue on Monday as opposed to the Kevin Rushbroke, Dave Cohen, all stay away from the centre of the wind up Imperial College right normal early Friday morning Steve Dunton, Donna, Andy room to avoid the same effect. The there and then. No self-respecting lecture filler. For this, my Lords Wensley, Rachel Mountford, building was designed badly, with parent would let their child go to a and Masters, I can only apologise Tamsin, Ben Marrs cause he's poor materials, and has been left University that allows such floor- and point, ever so 'umbly, to the ace! structurally unsound with the hopping antics, neither would a Phd pieces of equipment that faithlessly

votes? a good service, but will his pussy- Rebecca Land (Felix Editor/Print Beit Andrew Wensley (President) footing and middle-of-the- road Unit Manager) as Features Editor always has much more to say for approach work with College this year was responsible for not himself. He is predictably short on management? including an article that was anti- Back proposals, but yet again there is the Maxim Jalil, now the only religious. This was finally printed Lies, Damn Lies and Election old favourite of cheaper beer prices. Honorary Secretary (Events) in the Christmas Issue. Manifestos. Will he be able to move away from candidate, is best known for his The St. Mary's Block Vote. Elsewhere in this edition of Felix the shadows of his mentor Chris personal interest in testing Each year most candidates spend you will find the manifestos from Davidson and be his own man? chemicals and his ability to sign his the month before the Election at St this years candidates. If anyone can Highly unlikely. proposers signature. Vote NEW Mary's drinking in their bar and remember last year's manifestos, David Goddard (Deputy ELECTION and bring back pretending to take an interest in poor you. However none of them President) lacks the deep Dominic. their bit of Imperial College. The have yet carried out any of their background knowledge to do a good Ian Davies (Felix Editor/Print hypocrisy of this situation is election promises except Dominic job for the first 6 months. By which Unit Manager) otherwise known as amazing as once elected they forget Wilkinson and Jonty Beavan, who point its too late to do anything. Yet Poddy, Lise Yates and probably a all about them again. The block fulfilled part of theirs. again no real proposals, but then few other names that we don't know vote is decided by the performance And this year? again that is not surprising as he about, has a rather chequered past. in the hustings and how the voters Rachel Mountford (President) only wants to be sabbatical to spend Controversy surrounded his time as are told to vote at the ballot box. failed to build on Rag's previous another year drinking with his RCS Music Editor and it was also The hypocrisy with which the brilliant year. Rag Week came and buddies. revealed on IC Radio this week that election system runs is disgusting. went. A new post of catering officer Hugh Eland (Deputy President) he has faced a college disciplinary Views expressed in this article are - is this an attempt to grab OSC has the knowledge to do the Union committee. not necessarily shared by anyone.

being the RAG Secretary and hence across with warmth, plenty of would take no legal action. The smiles and 'gentle hand gestures', Red Jeans Cat's Eyes second is that they did not want to (though what hand gestures the I have been asked to write give the impression that I was women used were not described). something about anyone who wears singled out for an attack. red jeans (or burgundy for the more Rachel, FLEM. Trig 3) Speaking for Gareth Light: the TWAT colour conscious among you). To With regards to your letter on page term 'RAG Twat' applies directly Gareth Light, News Ed., has no help me, I interviewed a member of 4: to specific Raggies who happen to grip on reality. Read the letter from the college. Mr. X (no relation to 1) It is not ridiculous that someone be twats, as well as the fake Raggies G. McCord. It's very weird that Malcolm), as he wishes to be in RAG or the RCS must take who performed the lobotomies. Gareth writes anonymously in Beit known, claims that they look vile, responsibility, since it was due their Back, admits to it the week later, repulsive and nauseating, and worse inadequate statute that the two Sex and then writes a letter another when someone is wearing them. He incidents occurred. In yet another study on human week later, using a pseudonym, in said 'I don't know what drives 2) I feel the need to point out that behaviour, it seems that women which he slags himself off. Beware people to buying a pair, they're the other person that was who take the soft approach when of him, he is dangerous. hideous!' After removing the lobotomised was none other than arguing with men, are more likely sickened look on his face, he added Lorna Mountford, younger sister of to change the minds of their male RAG Cartoon 'You have admire such people, they Rachel. This was done for two sparring partners. The study, Mega thanks and praise to the guy certainly have courage.' reasons: The first is that the three highlighted in last weeks JVew who sent in the RAG cartoon on Mr. X is currently taking evening classes in design and fashion. mentally insufficient lobotomists Scientist (issue 1861), concludes page 9. I love it. It's excellent. P. J.Dodd knew that she would not mind, that women must get their views PLEASE do another one. Next week...Election Special

Page 3 opinio n 26 February 1993 Felix 959

How to save your soul The sound of his own voice Dear Jonty millionaires in Britain. Dear Jonty, Womble and Josh. He probably If we examine the basis of Western Just a word on the accusations of leads a secret double life as a Rag Civilisation we see that the roots of It doesn't take a genius to pusillanimity levelled against Twat come to think of it. I bet at this not-so-long established tree is comprehend that this fallacy of Gareth 'Beit back and don't give a the weekends he wears and anorrak 'freedom and benefit'. The freedom and the viewpoint of shit' Light last week. I reckon that and goes around squirting people branches of this tree which bear the benefit are destroying this society. his excuse for not signing the article with water pistols, and saying fruits are very apparent: What Islam has to offer is a about Rag Week—that he's the 'RAH RAH RAH' a lot. different set of criteria for action— Felix News Editor, and can't write I mean why bother to get out of -5 million crimes reported each based on the rational conclusion of opinion on the news paper, nor bed in the morning if you're going year the Creator's existence. The write the Editorial/Cat's Eyes bits to be so transparent? -50% increase in crime over the Muslims criteria for action is not because they're not his turf—is a Get a life Gareth. Look here's a last three years one of individual benefit, but rather load of old toss. fiver, go out and buy some Animal -Less than 10% of criminals are one of accountability. The Islamic It's perfectly obvious that he's Nitrate for yourself. caught system has been implemented for 13 just shit scared of getting twatted by Yours, as ever dear boy, -Only 1 in 10 people will help a centuries providing peace and all those hard core raggies like G McCord. person who is being victimised security for the non-Muslim and the -40% of British people live under Muslim alike. What Islam has to the poverty line: £3,000 or less a offer is not what we see in the Letters by 1 pm on year Middle East nations today; rather -68,000 lost their homes in 1992 these nations are enacting the orders Monday -3,000 homeless sleeping on the of their Western masters and streets of London alone compromising the Islamic way of still holds. Surely, if the ConSoc or them to attempt to defend it!! -3 million unemployed, and half life. any other society believes in the Yours sincerely, a million companies bust in 1991. Graciously, the ignorance of the Fruits of the Western Civilisation, Abdullah. There are, comaparatively, 95,000 ConSoc is forgiven, and the invite isn't this the perfect opportunity for

Mistaken Identity

Dear Jonty, I find this behaviour extremely I was very dismayed when I irresponsible, especially since the turned up at the Felix Office to person concerned is standing for collect two Metallica videos I had Felix Editor, so should show some won in a competition to find that reliability and if Felix runs a they had disappeared. After some competition it has a right to make investigation I found that your sure the prizes are available. music Editor Ian 'Poddy' Davies Yours, Seeing -

Page 4 O pinion Felix 959 26 February 1993

Use of English

Dear Jonty, Before passing petty remarks Reading the 'Jehad' article in about matters of global importance Felix 958 has left me exasperated and having them splashed on the and upset. pages of Felix for all to gawk and Why? gape at, it is advisable to consider Because of the frivolous manner for at least a moment, the feelings by which this word has been used. and sentiments of the human beings Frivolous is also the word I must who read them. use to describe the manner by which Long live Democracy. a member of the Islamic society and Long live Respect for of the Conservative society have Humankind. treated a religion held in esteem by Yours, many student members of this Muzaffar Qureshi, Biology. college.

Library service

Dear Jonty, Yesterday I went in search of a there were two librarians just sitting there. I did come away with my Mergers and Aquisitions PhD thesis which was stocked there there gossiping away); not even thesis—but only after arguing for It would be interesting to know I found the procedure I had to being allowed to stand at the several minutes that I could, in fact, whether the IC library has merged undergo simply astonishing: fdling librarian's desk and leaf through the take it out on loan (do libraries not with the Science Museum library, in pink slips of paper and putting thesis until I had signed two pieces actually lend books out any more?). or has taken it over. Having them in designated boxes; waiting of paper. Yours, exasperated with civil- recently come into contact with the for fifteen mintues which the I just couldn't believe the servant types, Science Museum library I can only librarian whose task it was to fetch pettiness, the bureaucracy, the Saimin Ishtiaq, Computing 2. hope that they are being taken over. the thesis to appear (and all this time patronising attitude of the staff Violent objection Does the RCA have an Engineering Magazine? Dear Jonty, such movies—but there are people Beit Back, complaining about the who gets kicks from watching NO recent stupid sentence passed on a violent movies and commit violent fifteen year old rapist said: 'Music crimes partly due to violent movies, leads to rape, films lead to rape, TV (to some extent we all have this violence leads to rape—crud!' streak in us, but control it with Does the LSE have a Science Magazine? Not so, many studies have shown revulsion for violence). if you expose people to TV etc Increasing the realism of violence NO violence there is an increase in their in a movie to the level of that in violent behaviour. (On an aside, Reservoir Dogs will turn on the Beit Back recommended castration violent types even more—not make for habitual rapists. Well, them stop out of disgust! Does the RSM have a Medical Magazine? remember that capital punishment The Editorial said 'It is not too never acted as a deterrent, so I'm hard to point to evidence of murders NO not sure if fear of castration will and assaults, aggravated by deter habitual rapists while they still glamorisation by Hollywood...' have their balls. But a habitual Part of the huge problem of rising rapist who is castrated won't rape levels of violent crime over the last Does Imperial College have an Arts Magazine? again, so I'm for it). few decades must be due to violent (Back to violence:) movies of the last few decades. YOU BET!! The Editorial argued that Censoring Reservoir Dogs and its censoring violence was narrow- ilk would be part of the cure for the minded and short-sighted; that problem because I think the increase honest films like Reservoir Dogs (as in violent attitudes caused by Phoenix, the Imperial College Art Magazine is to be opposed to glossy Hollywood hype showing such movies is more films) did not paint an attractive harmful to society than the published later this year. Contributions are very welcome. picture of violence; and proposed suppression of freedom of thought that honest films help us look caused by showing them. Send your articles, poems, plays, reviews, photographs honestly at ourselves. True, I don't think this is narrow- Reservoir Dogs makes most of us mindedness or short-sightedness- (anything without an equation in it!) to Samin Ishtiaq, realise guiltily that there's a lot of it's a long term view trying to ugly stuff inside us, and, true, minimise harm done to people. Phoenix Editor via the Felix Office. people like the Editorial writer xxx, don't turn into killers after watching PJ.

Page 5 u nion 26 February 1993 Felix 959 Ents

As sabbatical elections reach fever pitch and you raise your head for another yawn, why not come down to the Union and escape the boredom. Tonight, Atmosphere will be taking over the Union to provide a whole night of great music for you to shake your body to. There'll be a guest DJ in the form of the 'marathon man', ROB BLAKE. He's manned the decks at many of the top London clubs such as Third Base and Club Da Da. Yet again we're keeping the prices down to only £1. (Ents card holders free.) All this and a bar til lam, disco til 2am (playing everything under the sun) and a happy hour and a half from 8.30pm to 10pm (all drinks reduced by 20%). There will be no readmission and please remember to bring student ID.

And Coming Soon... On Friday 5th March, we'll be having Emperor Sly playing live in the Union building. Their club College Union, the sun can P.S. The World Music Night last those who helped make it a great reggae sounds have received great sometimes shine. Tickets are Friday was a rip-roaring success, night. acclaim and they'll be accompanied available now from the Union with the event being completely Andy K. by some fine dancehall DJ's to Office and again are only £2. Buy sold out. Sorry to those people we make sure that even in Imperial early to avoid disappointment. had to turn away and thanks to all

Travelling

Summer Vacation Training- The Mind! Small Ads opportunities are now available in CTS TRAVEL...Reduces the Cost! PRINCESS IDA The first the Careers Service. Over 90 meeting for the IC Operatic employers have supplied details. Society's tour to Devon (July 24th Details of the UROP scheme are NORTH AMERICA EUROPE LONG HAUL to 8th August) will be held on available in Departments and in the 071-323 5180 071-637 S601 071-323 5130 Tuesday 23rd March from 7.30pm Careers Service. in Room 308 Huxley. Anyone Penultimate Years—start flunking interested in joining us on tour (on about your future now. If you don't stage, back stage, front-of-house) or know what you want to do, come MEXICO 205 360 AMSTERDAM 44 79 AUKLAND 359 657 helping with the preparation, is to the Careers Service and try BOSTON 97 192 CAIRO 108 219 BANGKOK 199 399 invited to join us for an informal PROSPECT—our computer aided CHICAGO 93 186 MUNICH 60 115 KATHMANDU 239 439 gathering. Hope to see you there. careers guidance system. For info contact Laura Hudson Careers Seminars are being held DALLAS 122 241 BRUSSELS 35 71 CARACAS 202 398 (Chem Eng 2) or Ali Aber on each Wednesday afternoon from LOS ANGELES 124 240 PRAGUE 75 129 DELHI 205 329 081-552 2880. 2-4pm. Topics include Second MIAMI 112 224 GENEVA 57 107 HONGKONG FOR SALE: Mountain Bike. Interviews and Assessment Centres, 267 469 Ridgback 602 LX SIS. New peddles Test Practice and psychometric tests NEW YORK 93 186 MADRID 60 83 JO-BURG 264 473 and saddle, 18 months old £250. and the Job Market for International ORLANDO 118 235 MILAN 57 99 NAIROBI 206 379 Phone Dan 4357/4447. Students, sign up in the Careers SAN FRANCISCO 124 247 PARIS Service. 35 69 RIO 284 547 Careers Info For further information come to TORONTO 122 226 ROME 62 120 SINGAPORE 231 435 the Careers Service, Room 310 VANCOUVER 171 318 TEL AVIV Milk Round—details of interviews 99 169 SYDNEY 334 661 Sherfield—open from 10am to are put up on the noticeboards WASHINGTON 93 186 VIENNA 63 125 TOKYO 265 489 5.15pm Monday to Friday. A Duty outside the Careers Service a few Careers Adviser is available for days before the interview date. quick queries from l-2pm daily. Don't worry if you are too late to ROUND THE WORLD You can also book a SHORT apply for the Milk Round, we shall £799 APPOINTMENT of 15 minutes be writing to 800 employers in May between 2-4pm on Tuesdays and and you can apply for their Thursdays. 44 Goodge Street 220 Kensington High St. remaining vacancies when you have London W1P 2AD London W8 7RA completed your finals. e GOODGE STREET ^HIGH STREET KENSINGTON IATA Licensed

Page 6 Dirty Deeds SPONSORED

You will all, of couse, remember details closer to the time: Fisher are PARACHUTING last term's spectacular Dirty Dozen intending to go to Dorking and challenge, where a dozen eager collect for BIBIC, whilst Garden, collectors from each hall set out to Weeks, Tizard and Southwell are for raise as much dosh as humanly all staying closer to home and using possible in twelve hours. Mind you, the Cystic Fibrosis Trust's Greater Multiple Sclerosis Society I'm sure there are some people who London licence to collect in the would rather cast a veil over the capital. Falmouth Keogh are whole event - namely the team from returnng to the scene of their former Falmouth Keogh, who staggered off triumph, Guildford, where they will Applications & deposit cheques with a barrel of beer at the end of be collecting for the Leonard the day. If you think you could raise Cheshire Foundation, which helps must be handed into Rag Office more than they did, have more fun, severely physically and mentally or think up some stunt far sillier handicapped people to live fuller by than doing the conga in Covent and more independent lives. Garden, then Dirty Dozen Two is Bernard Sunley are planning to for you. collect for WWFN at the QPR v TODAY Teams are already being mustered, Norwich match, and Willis Jackson ready for the event, on March 6th. will be in Reading collecting for the Secrecy appears to be everything, same charity. Linstead and Selkirk CONTACT MIKE CHAMBERLAIN TODAY AT RAG as Hall Reps are keeping their ideas are both keeping their destinations closely guarded from the under wraps for the time being, but MEETING, 1.10pm ENTS LOUNGE competition. As yet, only the if you fancy joining in with the team destinations and intended from your hall, pop along to your benificiaries are known, although Hall Rep and force them to tell you we may be able to publish more what they're up to! DON'T FORGET THIS NUMBER: 8214 Running ahead IT'S THE NEW RAG OFFICE EXTENSION On April 18th, when most of us will the race, Alex has had to undertake Last year, Red Nose Day didn't be enjoying our Easter break and to raise a thousand pounds for Tusk GET happen, leaving those of us with an having a well-earned rest, one crazy Force, a charity primarily irrisistible urge to cram a sweaty student from IC will be running the concerned with protecting the S PLATTED A red plastic ball on our noses London Marathon. Alex Taverner dwindling populations of elephants completely in the lurch. But '93 is hopes to complete the gruelling and rhinos, and so far he has different! Not only is Red Nose Day course in under three hours, which obtained pledges for over £600. So RED back, but as you may have noticed, would put him amongst the top two if you see Alex around college, it has also undergone a revamp - hundred runners. To get a place in please sponsor him, and watch out NOSE instead of the normal nasty nose, for him on the telly on the day! that cut into your nostrils and made DAY blowing yur nose almost 4 impossible, March 12th this year offers you the opportunity to wear, Free tickets Red Noses with pride, a red, plastic 70p min. donation TOMATO! Buildings, such as the in the Union lounge on Friday at Free tickets for Suzanne Vega, all from IC Union Office Natural History Museum, can have lpm for more details. Eric Clapton Deacon Blue tour dates, Bon Jovi, their very own glowing tomatoes, tickets also a possibility. Jesus Jones and Sting are available. NOW and the usual car version is already Simply turn up at the Rag meeting present on the streets. And what, I hear the voices of a thousand HALL LEAGUE TABLE Wednesday 17.2.93 students cry (those that aren't asleep in their lectures at this very Hall Total No. of Total per moment, anyway) are we at collected residents head Imperial College going to do for Falmouth Keogh £4903.40 (184) £26.64 this amazing and fantabulous event? That is for you yourselves to decide Willis Jackson £2001.51 (78) £25.66 - already the Chaplaincy have begun Fisher £3229.90 (185) £17.46 collecting money to try to put a Red Garden £1451.41 (89) £16.31 Tomato on the Queen's Tower - this Tizard £1931.09 (120) £16.01 has never been done before, so please throw your loose change Weeks £777.13 (66) £11.77 their way (collecting tins can be Linstead £2088.04 (188) £11.11 found in the Union bar). Any silly, Southwell £1673.74 (174) £9.62 preferably tomato-related, ideas will be welcomed, and you can Selkirk £383.65 (72) £5.33 voice your suggestions at the Rag Bernard Sunley £171.92 (101) £1.70 meeting on Friday.

Page 7 FRIDAY, MRRCH 5TH

FOOD FAIR 6.8Bpm - 7.30pm Main Dining Hall CULTURAL SHOW 7.45pm- 1 B.BBpm Great Hallw DISCO 7.BBpm - I.BBam JCR LIUE DRND 1 B.BBpm- I.BBam Main Dining Hall

TiCketS for £5 (Food Falr.Cultural Shoiv.Disco.Llue Band) £3.58 (Food Fair.Disco.Liue Band)

Tickets auallable from Sherfield Foyer, OSC members, Union Office 'eature Felix 959 26 February 1993

ye a a

Page 9 Feature 'eature 26 February 1993 Felix 959 Felix 959 26 February 1993

Basketball in the USSR

The Imperial College Basketball team recall their trip to Moscow to play against the world's finest and indulge in a little of the Russian social life

Pia's only jump At last, a chance to sleep

In typical Imperial College Although it took some time to get -Sir Eric Ash tradition, we tried hard to keep up accustomed to the accommodation, -The IC Trust As you have probably gathered, the where we lost after fighting very with the Russian drinkers. Monica catering (which was of a good -The development office IC basketball club went to Moscow hard against the Russian 'Ice continuously gave performances of Russian standard) and the general -Liza Carr, marketing office for an international basketball Woman' (see Olympics). The lack Portuguese songs and gymnastics if way of life we all had a great time -Chris and Rick, Union President tournament on invitation from of height in our team was she could stand up long enough. and made many friends. The and Dep Pres MGIMO (the sports club of the compensated for by sound technical Ines and Ralph concentrated on opportunity to play good basketball -Carl and Ben from ACC Moscow State Institute of abilities (Pia's jumping, Natasha's strengthening international relations was much appreciated. -Daiju Shoji International Relations). IC played bivot and Nellie's sharp shooting). with the Russians while Annette An experience never to forget. -Michelle against teams from Norway- We ended up in second place after was hiding from Alexie who tried Nastrowje, Re!!!!! -The Union hard to improve the German- Tromso, Norway-Oslo, University the Russians who defeated The basketball club would like to -The Harlington trust Russian relations. Sally and Tom of Queensland—Australia, everyone. thank the following: gambled for rubels with the Scottish University of Essec—France, the The men secured a third place team and got stripped. Sociable national team of Iran, University of victory in an easy game against the Mike was having a snowball fight Aberystwyth—Wales, University of Russian team after having lost against himself as no one would join Sterling, Scotland and the against the Australians and the in (we love you Mike, really). MGIMO—Russia. Iranians. Our men showed their George gave a brilliant performance excellent offensive play in the HAIRDRESSERS Our team was by far the most of Greek dancing to Russian music match against the Iranians but were international, with members from breaking his arm in four places in 15A HARRINGTON ROAD, later to lose after their opponents Cyprus, England (2Vi members), the process, Opa! It was worth it took advantage of gaps in our SOUTH KENSINGTON Germany, Greece, Japan, Norway, George!! Portugal, Spain, Venezuela and the defence and shifted to the 'run and 071-823 8968 USA. The excitement began upon gun'. Impeccable shooting and good The trip was the first visit to We have a fantastic offer for all you arrival at Moscow airport where My Grandad's longjohns team play by the Iranians ensured Russia for all the players and we all our bus was 'arrested' and held up During the week, we visited the yet another close victory at the really appreciated having had this students, a cut wash and blowdry for one hour while our driver was Kremlin, The Red Square, the finals against Australia. once in a lifetime opportunity. threatened with a gun. Finally, Pushkin Museum, the Moscow Lenin, Stalin, by our top stylist 'connections' enabled us to get to State Circus, the Bolshoi Theatre (which normally costs around £21) the Olympic village where we and two famous markets; Arbat and stayed. We were greeted by a Izmailevo. We found Russian For only £11 Men £12 Women committee of friendly (?) native architecture very interesting cockroaches. By the end of the especially Natasha who took loads Check us out ! week, most of them were given a of pictures of corroding reinforced name by Ines by which time Nellie concrete. She kept telling us it was had been convinced to refrain from for her Phd but she got so excited keeping watch. Our first meal about it that we wondered. The consisted mainly of Russian mineral unbearably low temperatures of water (Vodka) and very different —13 °C made .nearly all our team foods. A number of people put into members buy one of those action the diet plans they could extremely fashionable Russian hats. never fulfil in London; others just Also acquired were medals, ate. Favourite substitutes for food uniforms, Vodka, caviar, chess were chocolate, Vodka, vitamin sets, Matrioschakas and only two pills, Vodka, cake, Vodka, Australian t-shirts (sorry Nelly), no Nurofen, glucose, Vodka. They caps, you had to sleep with an tried hard to please us in every Australian to qualify for that. aspect but the Russian canteen food On the basketball front, our was difficult to cope with while the women strolled through the initial food in restaurants was first class games. The only challenge came in including caviar and champagne. the final against the Russian team

Up and over! Page 10 Page 11 Clubs & Societies 26 February 1993 Felix 959 Third World Poverty Anti-Poverty Action hits IC next Poverty Action scheme. IC Third The other half goes directly to There will be a display in the JCR week beginning on Monday, March World First will provide you with support a Project of your choice. all week providing a glimpse of the 1st. For the first time, IC Third the Bankers Order Form, you The projects are concerned with work of the project. Also a worker World First has decided to diversify simply have to fill it in. people fighting back against involved with the project will be its many activities and try We are asking you to commit a poverty, injustice, and coming to speak on Thursday 4th fundraising. minimum of £1.50 a month to Anti- environmental destruction. Of the March. Poverty Action. £1.50 to you could 6 or 7 projects which you may - What is Anti-Poverty Action? be a drink and a packet of crisps. choose to support IC Third World Where do I sign up? This campaign was started by To the people you are supporting First will be focusing on one project If you are fortunate enough to live students in 1979 with the aims of it's the opportunity to get basic in particular, but if you would in Prince's Gardens, then don't call tackling the root causes of poverty educational and medical resources, rather sponsor another project, then us we'll call you! On Monday Anti- and injustice. It does this. and to carry out important come along and see us to find out Poverty Action leaflets and forms 1. by directing financial support environmental and development which projects Third World First will be distributed around halls of to grass roots projects—not just in work. has links with. residence. On Tuesday evening the Third World, but also within canvassers will be calling round to Britain—offering immediate help. Where will the money go? Which Project is IC TWF talk about Anti-Poverty Action and 2. by education and campaigning Half goes to the educational and backing? to collect any forms that have been in Britain—offering long term help campaigning work of Third World We are focusing on a women's filled in. i.e. through change in government First (the national organisation not health and literacy project in India There will be a stall for others aid policies, debt cancellation, fair the IC group). For this you receive sponsored by Third World First and wanting to sign up in the JCR every trade relations, human rights, and at least three mailings a year—with Oxfam. This is a community based lunchtime from Monday 1st to environmental protection. newsletters, publications, campaign project concentrating its efforts on Friday 5th March. updates and information on the working with women and children Making a difference has never What can you do? Project which you have chosen to in the slums of Mysore, a large city been so easy, so if you do give a You can help by joining the Anti- support. to the south of Bangalore. damn, join Anti-Poverty Action. The Japanese experience On Saturday March 6th, The IC fighting techniques of the Samurai, is an opportunity for them to talk Japan Soceity will be taking part in warriors of the feudal age. and get to know each other but not Japan Night, organised with the Throughout the evening, we will in the biblical sense, yet! At a Free Gig Japanese Societies of UCL, QMW have Karaoke available. Literally specified time, all the females will and Goldsmith's Colleges. It will translated Karaoke means 'empty line up on the stage facing the men. take place at Paul's restaurant on the orchestra' and is one of the more Each guy, in turn, then approaches As you may or may not know ICU 4th Floor of the ULU building. It unusual aspects of modern Japan— a girl of his choosing and basically Jazz and Rock club has been staging will be an ideal opportunity for any Come and see the normally quiet asks her out. At this point any other gigs in the Union Lounge every non-Japanese student to meet face and reserved Japanese sing to their contestant who also likes this girl, other Thursday for some time now to face with the Japanese people and hearts' desire or you may even want is given the opportunity to woo her. (though this is the first time I've got culture. The festivities begin at to impress your friends with your The girl will then have to decide on round to writing about them). Note! 7.00pm, when we will be offering vocal talents, not! one of them or neither. The These gigs are FREE, right under everyone a taste of both traditional We also hope to be able to do a remaining contestants continue and your nose, and, not wishing to and Modern Japanese cuisine, from Japanese style Blind Date, based on try and win someone's heart. Any shatter your preconceptions or maki-sushi and miso soup to the TV programme 'Neutron!' by successful couples will be given a anything, but some of these bands chicken kara-ape and Yaki-soba. the comic duo 'Tumels'. This has prize and hopefully romance will are rather hot (but Poddy will not Later on there will be a a totally different style from the blossom! be able to verify this!). This time, demonstration given by IC Karate English Blind Date, a major The tickets for Japan Night are £4 Thursday 4th March, 8.30pm, we Club, showing us the way of the difference being that there is an and are available at the Japan have Hermits Hat (Smiths and empty hand. This will be followed equal male to female ratio. For this Society social gatherings at 12pm Dylan in a folky blender), some by a Kendo (bamboo sword event, the 'contestants' will be on Wednesdays in the ante-room of people who sound like All About fighting) demonstration. This is a given a badge with their personal the Main Dining Hall (level 1, Eve or something and we finally sport based on the old sword details and allowed to mingle. This Sherfield). progress to Tasmanian Devil. ICSF-The Exorcist This coming Monday, ICSF is it sparked a-furious debate on Max Von Sydow, who featured in (The Godfather and The Hunger) proud to be showing the single most censorship laws that has lasted right several Ingmar Bergman films, from the neck up, which infamous horror film ever. The up until the present day: as a result Flash Gordon, Never Say Never remarkably few people have ever Exorcist starts with Regan of this, it is incredibly difficult to Again and the Oscar-winning Pelle noticed. MacNeil, a young girl with an see it in this country. The film was the Conqueror and gave another The screaming starts at 6pm in apparently undiagnosable illness. based on William Peter Blatty's great performance for this. It's Chem Eng LT1 on Monday. Entry After medical help is found to be bestseller, of which about thirteen notable for its use of Mike is £1 for members whilst futile, Father Damien Karras, a (!) million copies have been sold Oldfield's original 'Tubular Bells', membership is just £3 and includes Jesuit priest, is called in. So begins worldwide. It was directed by which sold extremely well, partly the first event entry fee. If you're a rollercoaster ride of satanism, William Friedkin, who went on to as a result and also boasts likely to throw up, then don't bother possession, an incredible test of do The French Connection, extraordinarily good special effects, and remember—you have been religious belief and lots and lots of Cruising, The Guardian and including one actor encased in warned! green vomit. Not for the squeamish, Rampage, and stars veteran actor prosthetic rubber by Dick Smith

Page 12

> Clubs & Societies Felix 959 26 February 1993 Culture Shock-Roots Culture from the root is a collection of works by Nigerian artist, Oladimeji Adisa's vision of life in images. The works shows a selection of facts and definite day to day social, economic and political aspects of African Culture and Tradition. Oladimeji's contemporary works bridge the gap between the past and the presentand at the same time focuses on future expectations. His style is a mixture of realism and abstraction that tries to draw upon the subconscious, with emphasis on the hands and legs because those who have neither of them, strive hard to make their lives meaningful. His compositions, colours, titles, images all play a specific function in bringing an intelligible meanings and messages about African beliefs, ideas, values and knowledge. The works include; The Twin Mother (Iya Ibeji), Announcement (Ikede), Under one Umbrella and Pride of Puberty. The exhibition is presented by ICU Gallery, South Kensington between Third World First, ICU Nigerian 8-22 March 1993 between 10.00am Society and the Imperial College and 6.00pm Mondays to Fridays Consort Gallery and will be held at Pak Soc with a private view on Monday 8th the Imperial College Consort March from 6.30- 8.30 pm. Today at 5.15pm in the Union shall be followed by the Pakistan Dining Hall, you are invited to Society Committee elections for attend the Pakistan Society Iftar 93/94. This is sure to be a fiery Dinner. Tickets can be obtained occasion—one not to be missed at on the door, so come early to any cost. FilmSoc-Friends avoid disappointment. The dinner

Next week, FilmSoc, is proud to Emmanuel) who has been involved present one of the most popular with a series of married men and Finance Election films from last year's London Filmwhos e latest suitor is Brian (Tony The Annual General meeting & This was followed by a very Festival, Peter's Friends. StarringSlatery) . Finally, there's Andrew Elections for the Finance ociety touching speech given by Maana most of the 'luvvies' of the British (Branagh) and his wife Carol were held on Wednesday, 17th Feb. Ruia on behalf of the leaving thespian establishment, directed and(Rudner ) who have both achieved The ex-chairman arrived a bit late committee to thank their chairman produced by Kenny Branagh, it is fame in Hollywood. (20 mins), obviously we all for all the things he had done for the ultimate exercise in how to These old friends gather at understand his grief about leaving them and the society without whom make a movie for all those ThirtyPeter' s house for New Year's Eve his post. The Finance Soc. has had the society would not be where it Something and Big Chill junkies. and re-evaluate their lives. Despite around 420 members making it the is today. All was over within three The extremely witty script, co- much laughter, there are quarrels, largest Society at IC, but it was hours resulting in the emergence of written by Rita Rudner and loaded reconilations, and drama. quite disappointing to see only a the new chairman, Salman Ali. with marvellous one-lines, is about The acting from such talent, as handful of them turn up for the We are still looking for committee the reunion of six friends from the expected, is first rate with Time Out elections. Last year the elections members who would like to join our Cambridge Footlights. Ten long saying that it reached were quite successful because of the friendly, lively and hard working and eventful years have passed 'extraordinarily emotional depths' buffet after the event. Next year we society. Joining the committee since they graduated and headed off and Branagh once again proves shall definitely consider holding a requires no previous experience. in separate directions to encounter himself to be one the best British buffet to improve the attendance. Meetings are held every Tuesday at what life has in store for them. director/actors around. The film The meeting started with a talk 1.00pm in the Huxley Building (Rm Peter (Stephen Fry) has frittered also features a soundtrack from the given by the out-going chairman 410). Members from all away the promises of his youth and likes of Queen, Tears for Fears, Amer Hasan. He gave the members departments are welcome to the is unable to commit himself either Springsteen and Eric Clapton. a detailed review of how the society meetings and to join the committee professionally or personally. Roger Peter's Friends will be shown in started two years back, how it has (first years are more than (Hugh Laurie) and wife Mary Mech Eng 220 at 7.30pm on progressed within that period and welcome). Being a committee (Imelda Staunton) have been Thursday 4th March. Entry is 90p the potential it has to go even member has a few priveleges and shattered by a family tragedy. for members and £1.90 for non- further (the speech was well it's not all work. It's fun and Maggie (Emma Thompson) has members. Remember that detailed - he went on for an hour enjoyable to work for the society. grown ever more eccentric, sharing membership is now only £3.50 or so !!). Elections were held after So see you soon. a solitary existence with her cat. which includes your first film free. the Chairman's report. Speeches Shashikant Lakhotia Math H Then, there is Sarah (Alphonsia were made and questions asked.

Page 13 M US1C 26 February 1993 Felix 959

ska fans, who have arrived to find five germans armed with guitars and phrasebooks rocking out on stage. But there's more to this band than that cover. Every other song, Terry Hoax—New Cross mostly from their 1992 album Venue 'Freedom Circus', are finely crafted Third on the bill to The Selecter, on rock songs, with a melody hiding a sortie for the investigations unit, in the basement, and banging on the we find Terry Hoax, totally doors, set free. This band, damn unsigned, unmanaged in the UK, this band, this band should be and purveryors of the massively signed very soon. MTV-played Depeche Mode cover, Lise Yates. 'Policy Of Truth', bringing a Releases stocked at WOM, harsher metallic acrimony to the Sonnenstrasse 12, Munchen, climatic chorus, always lacking in Deutschland, and all over the original. This received long and Germany. loud appreciation of the earlybird

Rainer— Roadhouse Slithy Toves Ex Giant Sand man with only two These guys gimbled and grooved in Dobros at a very yuppie 50s the Union Lounge on Thursday Americano diner. Damn, should've night and sounded excellent. gone yesterday at the Borderline. The lead guitarist/singer— Ry Cooder once said spiritual blues looking like an escaped hippy from gives chicken skin, well Rainer the first Joy of Sex manual—did (Robert Johnson incarnate) kitted some nifty guitar work, while some with old baseball cap and Budweiser droog with a sax slunk a few slickly blows me away completely. Modest soulful solos in now and again. This as he is, he played sturming country droog, together with the bass player blues with total indifference, maybe occasionally went into Hare Krishna Wendy James, because Colorama fucked up and couldn't develop he doesn't realise the magnitude of mode, with blissful expressions and photos to save their life. his power, or is put off by the happy bouncing up and down to the Wendy James: the nameless she is attempting a Madonna-like crowd too busy tucking into their music, and while this was kind of one metamorphosis from petulant trashy steaks after a hard day in the city. corny, it was also infectious. Got Ah, so The Seductive One returns, schoolgirl hanging out with sweaty Give a shit, the man is a genius us bopping. having astutely dumped Tex and the boys to clever manipulator of pop and that is all that matters. Musically, they were a mixture brothers Vamp, with a Costello- iconography, but if she attempts to Lucas. of Frank Zappa, Ozric Tentacles penned single, and a promo photo establish this miracle with another and Rush... sort of, that is. They had which suggests her to be mildly lumbering rock motif and Carter- Joi—IC Union an impressively tight rhythm guitar embarrassed by her attributes. I ask esque puns (read 'Lesley-Anne It hurts to say this, you know. I and drums very like those bands, you, is this credible? I tend to think Down in the tube station at really don't want to. I've got a anyway. this 'I suffer. I am the soul of all midnight' for a laugh), we're in reputation as a miserable git who Good shit. womankind' stuff would carry more abso-fucking-lute non-starter hates everything to keep up. so I PJ. weight if dear ol' Wend didn't get territory. The song 'the nameless apologise in advance for the her tits out at every available one' would appear to be generally following statement. I enjoyed this exciting mix of atmospheric opportunity. Maybe I'm getting the concerned with would-be stars, band. I'm sorry, it has to be said, melodies and pounding rhythms, all photo all wrong. Maybe she's nearly-was' and also rans'; with this and I don't care if they haven't got topped with one of those ethereal 'touching herself erotically' for in mind, I think this should be any guitars and such, just a load of female voices, that used to make David Bailey's camera (who's he? catalogued as 'that blonde tart who tapes and stuff like that. It's the first Everett True go weak at the knees. - sic. Ed). Maybe she's trying to used to sing with that band, now time I've danced at an Ents do this A sort of harsh, more vibrant form cover up that rip in her plastic what was their name?' year, and I'm rather ashamed of it, of eighties music. trousers that she bought from that David. so I'm going to end now. Bloody At worst I thought a lazy review dodgy stall in Camden. good, Mr. Kerr, and I think I want would make a few comparisons just Hmmm. It concerns me that I don't Suzanne Vega—When to kill you for it. to avoid having to describe the actually know what she's trying to Heroes Go Down L. Yates-Davies music. I was even thinking of achieve here; I would speculate that Suzanne Vega is great. She was mentioning the Charlottes or an great when introspective and Ask—Preview, ICU, 4 March extrovert Cocteau Twins myself, Rubicon—Before My Eyes intense, and is equally great now Strange really, they asked me to But no. Apparently a good review Considering this is the product of she is happier with life. write a review about the band describes a wild party that you had the ex-members of Field of the 'When Heroes Go Down' is as playing the Union on Thursday to go to instead of listening to the Nephilim who happen to be on tour uptempo as she's been; being short, night. But, I've never written a record or the new t-shirt you with Fish (spit, spit), this isn't spritely and not involving lyrical music review, so like a good little bought. Music seems to have little actually that bad. Not really what gymnastics. Just like a single should boy I decided to look at some to do with the review. So if I tell you'd expect though; it being a be. previous reviews from Felix, you about the time I got completely fairly standard rock issue. An In case we'd forgotten the old Melody Maker, NME and I must wrecked will you all pay a little incessantly repeated chord sequence Suzanne, the B-side is a live version say I was quite shocked. more attention to this and go down bridged with a quieter middle bit, of the earlier 'Knight Moves'. Both I thought the review should tell to the Union to emulate some of my and the general cry of 'Lord have toe-suckin' good. you what the music was like. That amazing feats. Oh, whilst you're mercy on me now'. Easy, it's called Tintin. Ask offered a refeshing change there, check out the band, they're a power switch. Just depress. Released 22 Feb by A&M from the run of the mill indie bands good (and I was sober at the time. Tintin. touring Hammersmith Apollo, 5th about at the moment and played an Gareth. Released March 1st. April.

Page 14 Life, time of our own. M US1C Felix 959 26 February 1993 Albums iBffllllil' *^^tIJ1

The Clouds (Aus) —Penny Century Somewhere along some merry little line (playing at powdering my nose), someone told me that this all- mixed-gril band are antipodean. Now I don't wish to slag off our bastard cousins, though to be sure, they are our bastard cousins and should always be regarded as poor relations (i.e. hide the silver when they call round, pretend you're not in and hope they go away without shouting 'It's Auntie Mona and Uncle Bruce' for the neighbours to hear). In fact, if it were not for The Birthday Party and Prime Minister Paul Keating (Man of the Year for What? Talented Australians? that little spot of Queenfeeling), I there, so I'll return to those puns and the collective noun for a could quite happily see all 'differentiy sexy' Australians. The bunch of self-publicising Julie G W McKennan —Fireboy Australians sentenced to death for Clouds (Aus) are one of those Burchill wannabes (watch 'em use G.W. McKenna is another nurse drugs running in Malaysia. glorious universally unprecedented the word 'smorgasbord'), decided cast in the mould of a No. You're quite right. This events, in that they are utterly to give it their critical thumbs down. singer/songwriter from a pointless antagonism towards sublime. This is like Julianne Well, 'poo' to their judgement. Commonwealth principality, colonials isn't fair, and I should be Regan's infamous 'Starfucker' Reactionary bastards. There are Australia in this case. Despite being severely reprimanded for it. After letter to Sally Margaret Joy of some great songs on here; notably well known there as the frontman all, unlike Yanktwats and Melody Maker, like Edwina 'Hieronymus', 'Immorta', of the now defunct Go Betweens, Afrikanershagnasties, these people Currie, ripping the horrid 'Visionary', 'Foxes Wedding'. he is probably best known in didn't ask to go. They didn't run off Christopher Monckton to pieces Jesus, 'Foxes Wedding' is brilliant, Europe for supporting Lloyd Cole for the New World when the old before insulting him, in a televised a St Vitus Dance through a hazy last year. one got a little rough. But lucky debate prior to last year's election. May day of dimension-spanning Nevertheless 'Fireboy' is his fucking them all the same. This is It is the absolutely marvellous from guitar work and sun-drenched second solo slbum, following his going to be a record review, by the the absolutely unexpected. 'Penny rhythm. Notice I have not stooped critically accalimed debut of 1991, way. I've just got to get Melbourne, Century' has moments when it to using 'Ausome'... Head, 'Watershed', 'Fireboy' exhibits a John Farnham, one-dimensional sounds just a tad jangly guitar pop shoulders, torso above Inxs, melange of undercurrents ranging surf kids and the Earl's Court clone with Belly/Throwing Muses Midnight Oil, even Rolf Harris, this from the bitter dark pallor of 'The zone out of my system before pretensions, but the occasional is an ebullient and auspicious debut. Pawnbroker', through the lunchtime, maybe get down to some lurch towards protometal territory I can even forgive them for Rupert workmanlike 'Whose Side Are You swoony harmonies, not a vegimite and a simple thing like beautifully Murdoch. No, scrub that. On?' to the delicate sparseness of sarnie or BBQ'd shrimp in sight. I crafted songs dispel any misgivings. David. 'Signs of Life'. However, for all the reckon I've fdled enough space The N.M.E., one of my favourite Out now on Polydor. professionalism displayed throughout the album, there is still a sneaking lack of real commitment Radiohead —Pablo Honey to the material. Notable exceptions Ragged, lustful, naked, violent, are 'Bathe (in the water)' and 'The vitriolic, diverse, hateful, hurtful, Dark Side of Town' but these are spineless, cadaverous. islands in a sea of indeterminancy. Thorn E Young is the epitomy of Perhaps it needs time to mature the emotional retard. Loving at the and capture our tastebuds for there drop of a hat, hating his friends,an d is a quality surrounding it which is making the most powerful, thought- too easy to dismiss. Certainly provoking and exciting music of the McKennan is gifted with a neat if last eighteen months. somewhat pun-oriented lyrical 'Pablo Honey' asks questions. It poise. I mean how can you rhyme packs a punch as hard as anything Bonaparte with blown apart without before it, but with an almost wincing? orchestral articulation of dynamics At the end of the day, I think it's as I have ever heard. one of those records you end up The converted will note that there borrowing from the library rather are six 'new' songs, but will be glad than rushing out to buy. that the three 'Drill EP' songs have Tintin. been re-recorded, with 'Thinking Released 1st March on Beggars About You' totally stripped back to Banquet. its acoustic skeleton. Rosehill underage drinkers rule OK. Of the unreleased material, 'Blow foot and bob and head on the planet. Ever been blown out, cheated, Out' is the outstanding track, 'All the things you Ve got/you lied to? surprisingly complex and lyrically will never need/All the things Buy it and live it. succinct, the album ends with you've got/1 plan and I bleed to Glyph Mac. driving, raging guitars and please you/Been thinking about Out now on Parlophone. thrashing drums enough to tap any you.'

Siblings & Groucho. Page 1 5 Review s 26 February 1993 Felix 959

Under Siege Ryback (Steven Seagal) is an ex- SEAL (SAS equivalent), working as the cook on board the USS Missouri, a soon to be decommissioned ship manned with only a skeleton crew. The ship is hijacked by two psychotics - the commander of the ship itself and another SEAL guy, who aim to steal the ships nuclear arsenal and threaten all-out nuclear war. So Ryback, aided by his kitchen assistants, fights back. This is your prototype big budget, feel good, mind-numbing entertainment movie. It has all the necessary and sufficient ingredients - the martial-arts expert good guy with a sense of humour and a firm chin who's acting talent consists of Roger Moore style eyebrow wiggling coupled with a impressive sneer, the bit of skirt in the form of Erika Eleniak playing a Playboy centrefold who stunningly overcomes her fear of weaponry (fhaar, fhaar) to save Ryback's life, and the wavering pyschopath (Tommy Lee Jones) who leaves you in no doubt he's the baddie. Add lots of large explosions, plenty of m machine-gun fire, a good bloody unarmed combat scene and a tense, melodramatic finale, et voila, a L_ - - _ - : ; guaranteed box office success. mw Aralia Elegantissima. Under Siege. Out now in London. The songs in the first half had the all, one could have been on in yet another spectacular scene, common theme of love with all its Broadway. This small theatre made unveils his bandages. trials and tribulations. It involved their roles even more demanding The show is written and directed some exceedingly humourous and and with only three of them, there by Ken Hill who has a string of Theatre acute observations especially those was no room for mistakes. It was impressive productions behind him. on the true relations of couples in, a well performed piece and if Paul Kieve designed the illusions Starting Here, Starting Now 'I don't believe it'. After the musicals are your scene—well go which are, on the whole, quite Being a musical revue this was a interval the show became a little and see it. superb. The acting is brilliant,«nd collection of songs and therefore the tedious, some songs were obscure Sophie. especially good were Caroline Bliss poor plot commonly associated with and the humour began to fail. The Link Theatre, Holborn Centre, (as the School Mistress), Brian Broadway musicals was thankfully cast however did an exceedingly 3 Cups Yark, Sandland Street, Murphy (who starred in George and absent. good job, complete with actions and Mildred), and Philip Newman. The Invisible Man The show starts off much like a The Invisible Man is a comedy, a pantomime and without much of an magic show and a musical - all in involved storyline. Via brilliant one. It is about the naive inhabitants special effects, it progresses into a of a small English village in the year more seious and complex world of of 1904. Everything is peaceful, greed, violence and obsession with until, on a dark, winter's night, a power. mysterious man, covered from head There seemed to be mixed to toe in clothes and bandages, feelings about the show among the arrives. He claims to have had a audience. "The best show in serious accident, and this seems to London," said one man, who was satisfy the villagers until a series of scornfully looked upon by another. burglaries occur. In a spectacular But for me - better than a kick in scene, which would impress even the teeth. the great Paul Daniels, the vicar Bill witnesses an attempted robbery of Vaudeville Theatre, Strand his week's collection by an unseen WC2, Charing Cross Tube. Box spirit. The plot, thankfully not too Starting Here Starting Now. Office 071-836 9987. Tickets: simple, unfolds when the stranger, £5-£20

Page 16 Reviews Felix 959 26 February 1993

Entertaining Mr Sloane waggling. The insubstantial score is Don Giovanni Set completely in the sitting room belted and eeked to gratingly If you have ever thought of opera of a house straight from the 50s, this repetitive triviality. as something elitist, heavily play is a classic comedy from Joe Essentially unsuited to all but the dramatic (on the edge of boredom), Orton. With an ostensibly Don Pasquale most intimate and understated of hardly understandable and a quite straightforward plot, it really is Donizetti's comic opera seems fated productions; venue, director expensive form of entertainment, quite amazing how complicated to 'For-all-me-family...' treatment. (Andrew Greenwood) and designer you will certainly change your things can get! Mr Sloane is Two painful productions in as many (Joe Varek) have here succeeded in opinion after listening to this new employed by Eddie, and then lodges months have left the jaunty operetta exposing every flaw of a potentially staging of Don Giovanni. with Eddie's sister, Cathy and reeling from ridicule. amusing and pretty piece. Skilled Music Theatre London adds Dadda, their elderly father. An Following in the hobnailed-boot- delivery from Andrew Shore, another dimension to Mozart's interesting development is the prints of the English Touring Opera Rosemary Josua and Alan Opie did timeless opera. A tale of murder, sexual relationship that builds up the ENO takes the 'amenable' little to alleviate the depressing lust and betrayal is transported to between the frumpy, middle-aged approach i.e. suits, sunglasses and vulgarity and insensitivity which is a London of portable phones, Cathy and the young and vibrant Mr Sesame Street subtlety. Don fighteningly prevalent in much of Porches and Chinese take-aways. Sloane, which also involves Pasquale is a soufle-light comedy of today's theatre. Don Giovanni is seen here as a mother/son role playing. Twists and manners embelished with some Sara. lascivious city slicker with an turns in the plot reveal past events, enchanting, if predicable tunes. The London Coliseum, St enormous sexual appetite. and show that history has a habit of Here the 'young-lurvers-fool-an-old Martin's Lane, Charing Cross tube. According to Leporello's (his repeating itself in the lives of three duffer'-plot is mercilessly flogged Box Office 071-836 3161. Tickets guv'nor and minder) personal of the characters and leads to the to flippancy by frenzied eyebrow £8-£42.50. organiser, only in London Don death of the fourth. A completely conquered 1003 ladies, not counting unexpected ending gives the play an Birmingham, Nottingham, extra edge. Brighton...Led by his life motto: A lot of the humour leaps up from 'Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll' he behind and grabs you by the throat, falls into all sorts of awkard the jokes being enhanced by situations. But there is always excellent acting from the cast. Mr Leporello, to get him out. Sloane was very convincing as a Translations (Tony Britten and petulent young man, filling the Nick Broadhurst, Director as well) stage with his easy going charm and are hilariously funny, and very up- the occasional outbursts of violent to-date. Although the stage was anger. Cathy showed her loneliness somehow empty (small anyway), and her search for love well. She eight singing actors managed to fill asks Mr Sloane if she disgusts him up space with their acting and in the same breath as saying 'My singing and to conjure up the party teeth are inthe kitchen in Stergene!'. atmosphere, Don's home, or Sloane As such a classic everyone should Square. see this play at least once in their If you are traditionalist you might lives and here is an opportunity to find this approach heretical. If you do so. And the male nude photos in are not, Don Giovanni guarantees the 'Art' gallery ('pornography' an evening of pure entertainment. gallery) may attract a few of you to Elena. this theatre as well. The Drill Hall Arts Centre, 16 Laura. Chenies Street, Goodge Street tube. Greenwich Theatre, Croams Box Office 071-637 8270, Tickets Hill SE10, Greenwich BR. Don Giovanni. £8-£15.

No.2 in F is a compilation concerto: around the two Milton poems and end. a sort of slightly-less-than-greatest- alternates between the 'mirth and It has to be said that I enjoyed the hits of Handel (for instance, the melancholy' throughout, in a series evening, so maybe I'm on the road third movement is also known as of recitatives, arias and choruses. to appreciating music in it's own 'Lift up your heads, O ye gates' For the choral sections, the Tallis right, without it having to conjure Handel from the Messiah) orchestrated for Chamber Choir was on hand, and images or stir emotions, which as Truth be known, I'm not much of strings (with continuo), oboes (and for such a small group, made a Bernstein once stated is the highest a Baroque fan, nor Classical for that bassoons) and horns, and resulting large volume of excellent sound. form of musical perception. matter. For sure, it is all very in a delightful array of competitive Most of the work however, was Anyway, my pretentiousness is pretty, complete and to the greater displays between the three sections. carried out by the soloists, unimportant; That the ECO are extent, logical and perhaps it's Mackerras' strongest attribute has comprising two sopranos and one good - very good - is and it is partly this predictability, coupled always been (for me anyway) the each of a tenor and bas s. Although definitely worth seeing one of with the lack of outright passion ability to exact the kind of quality they both sang beautifully, Yvonne Europe's elite chamber orchestra's when compared with such as sound from an orchestra in the Kenny had to brush over some in action when the chance arises. Tchaikovsky, Rachmaninov or manner of say, Karajan or Abaddo, dubious pitching with clever vibrato This event was the first of a season Bruckner which fails to entice me. and it is a delight to both watch and and Patrizia Kwella didn't look too at the Barbican for the ECO which Whatever my preferences, I listen to. On this occasion his jovial pleased to see us all until it was time finishes in June. Splash out on one. sacrificed my love for the nature coincided with that of the to go home. Thus it was that the Kermit-the-Garf. Romantics in the name of art last music, and the musicians were most men won on points: David Wilson- Tuesday and trundled off to the evidently enjoying themselves, as Johnson's rich and powerful tones Barbican to witness a concert of well as putting on a fine display. being complemented by Neil Barbican Centre, EC2, lesser known Handel works, The showpiece was the oratorio Mackie's sprightly and humour- Barbican/Moorgate tubes. Box performed by the English Chamber which old George Fredrick filled expression. The night Office 071-638 8891. ECO series Orchestra under the charismatic composed in 1740, just before he belonged to the players and Sir continues with Gluskchenko leadership of Sir Charles started work on the Messiah. Charles however, and this was conducting Part, Shostakovich, Mackerras. The Concerto a due cori L'Allegro ed il Penseroso is based recognised by the audience at the Matthews and Tchaikovsky.

Page 17 What's On What's On 26 February 1993 Felix 959 Felix 959 26 February 1993

FRIDAY Reservoir Dogs 1.15 9.50. Late Fri, Cinema Sat 12.15 What IC Radio Schedule Camden Plaza Bram Stoker's Dracula 3.25 6.25 Day FRI 26 SAT 27 SUN 28 MON 1 TUE2 WED 3 THU 4 211 Camden High St, NW1 9.25. Late Fri, Sat 12.25 Oxford Arms 265 Camden High St SUNDAY Delicatessen 6.30 College Time (071-485 2443) Camden Town Leon The Pig Farmer 2.00 4.30 NW1, 071 482 4857. Cinema Flight Of The Swan 9.00 Tenpin Bowling Club tube. Seats £5; 1st show daily 7.00 9.30. Late Fri, Sat 12.00 Killing him 9.30 Sun Mat 5 pm till Electric Cinema Scala meet 2.15pm in Aero Foyer or 8-9 Manor Vic & Ni Greg Steve DaveC £3.80; cones £2.30 1st perf only. Damage + Sun. £4-5 Trusa.lO The cruel woman 4.30 9.20 contact Pete Sharpe Bio PGx 7488 This week: The Cutter 1.05 3.55 6.45 9.35. The Gate Simple men 4.00 My Father is coming 3.00 7.40 Fitness Club 9-10 Morning Mean Streets 1.15 3.40 6.10 8.40 Late Fri, Sat 12.25 Prince Albert, 11 Pembridge Road Virgin machine 6.00 1.15-2.15pm Southside Lounge. Mean Streets^.30 8.40 WEEKEND Chelsea Cinema Prince Charles Wll, 071 229 0706. Prince Charles Music Intemediate/Beginner 10-11 Music MORNING 206 King's Rd , SW3 (071-351 Leicester Place, WC2 (071-437 Snow Orchid 7.30 pm, Not Sat, The Playhouse The Love Nest Delicious Monster, Me, The CLub Libido!!! 3742) Sloane Sq tube. Seats £5.50; HIT BIT MUSIC JAM 8181) Piccadilly /Leicester Sq tubes. £5-8. Sherlok Junior 1.45 Inside. Sex on a stick with the Ents kiddies 11-12 Jam 1st show daily £3.80; cones £2.80 Seats £1.20. Today: Link Theatre Raise The Red Lantern 4.00 Orange, £4. partying in full effect boyeeee! late 1st perf only. This week: Night On Earth 1.30 Holborn Centre 3 Cups Yard, WC1 Dr Phobes & The House of Wax bar and Disco till 1 am Delicatessen 6.30 12-1 Mr B Robin Richard RSaw Penguin Dan the Damage 1.15 3.40 6.10 8.40 Soft Top, Hard Shoulder 4.00 071 405 2661. My Little Eye 9.00 Equations. Electric Cinema Romper Stomper And A Nice Starting here, starting now. 8 pm, Scala Camden Palace £4/£2. THURSDAY 191 Portobello Rd, Wll (071-792 Arrangement 6.30 to Sat, £5-6 Phamtom of liberty A. 30 Clive Gregson, Eddi Reader, Boo Cinema 1-2 Griffiths Saw & Phil Man 2020) Notting Hill/ Ladbroke Unusual Ground Floor Lyric Hammersmith The Milky Way 2.40 Hewerdine. Electric Cinema Grove tubes. Seats £4.50. Today : Dave Kev& Sedgw'k Conversation 9.15 King StW6 081 741 2311. Strictly Ballroom 9.00 Hermit Club, Brentwood, £7.50. Prince Charles 2-3 Lofty Mean Streets 2.10 4.20 6.30 8.40 Lane Doa &Cook Scala Greasepaint 7.45 Not Sun Sat Mat Saturday night fever 6.40 Marxman, etc. Tetsuo 3 BodyHammer 1.30 Gate Cinema 257-277 Pentonville Rd, Nl 2.30 pm, £7.50-13.00 Music Jazz Cafe, £7. Twin Peaks 3.30 3-4 Globe Lofty 87 Notting Hill Gate, Wll (071-278 0051) King's Cross tube. Tricycle Theatre Alice In Chains, Screaming Theatre Base Instinct 6.15 (071-727 4043) Notting Hill Gate Seats £4.50; cones £3 Mon-Fri 269 Kilburn High street, 071 328 Trees. BAC Life's A Gas 9.00 4-5 Trotter Album Top 40 Cath Greg & tube. Seats £5.50, Sun mat £4; before 4.30pm for students. This 1000 T&C, £7.50. Divine Words 8 pm, £6-7.50 Music cones (card required) £3 Mon-Fri week: Anna Karenina 8 pm, Wed and Sat Why is John Lennon wearing a skirt St Etienne, Pulp. Bryan's Theatre 5-6 Chart Charts B Crotaz Mellissa before 6pm, Sun mat £3. This Nekromantik 4.10 9.00 Mat 4 pm, £5-11.50 BAC 8.30 pm £5-6. Equinox, £8.50. Classical week: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.35 College Sean Hughes 8.30 pm £5-8 Etcetra Theatre Radiohead, etc. Oli & Happy Damage + 6-7 Jaymz Show Bruce 7.35 Atmosphere College Krapp's last Tape 8 pm £5.50 Underworld, £5. Paul Rea Hour The Cutter 1.40 (Sat only) 4.05 Deranged 5.50 Guest DJ Rob Blake, Party till 2 am Fitness Club College College David Mission 6.30 8.55. Late Fri, Sat 11.20 UCI Whiteleys French Soc Jazz 7-8 DJ FA PaulE M&S Jase with the Ents Crew. 2.00-3.00pm in Southside Lounge. Mac Impossible Pint Break + Whiteleys Shopping Centre, (071 Rag Meeting Club meeting, 12 noon Clubs with promotion of Ruddles in the Intermediate. News Monday 8 o'clock White Men Can't Jump Sun mat at 792 3324/3332). This week: 1.10pm in the Ents Lounge oppsite Literacy Week Comittee Room Union Bar. 8-9 Rob Desk Proqram Edition Marcus 11.45am Bram Stoker's Dracula 12.45 3.35 Da Vinci's. Third World First Start thier Free Juke Box and Music Bible Study Adam & MGM Chelsea 6.25 9.20 Third World First Literacy and Health Week in the Union Building. in the following departments, 9-10 Adam & Chris Eitaroh Alan Alex 279 King's Rd, SW3 (071-352 Under Seige 11.45 2.20 4.45 7.10 weekly meeting 12.45 Southside Riding Club physics lecture theatre 1 12-lpm. Niae 5096) Sloane Sq tube then bus. 9.35 Meeting 12.30-1.30, Southside Maths/Chem/Computing Huxley Ian Upper Lounge MONDAY 10-11 Lemmy Neil Neil Seats £6; cones £3.50 Mon-Fri The Bodyguard 12.55 (not Sat, Sun) Fitness Class Cinema Upper Lounge 413 12-lpm. Mech Eng 709 l-2pm. Parish before 5pm. This week: 3.45 6.35 9.25 5.30pm in Southside Gym step Prince Charles Radio Modellers Club Civ Eng/Mines Civ Eng 444. Elec A Few Good Men 3.10 (not Sat, Stay Turned 12.25 2.45 Class take your student card. Basic Instinct 1.30 meet in Southside Upper Lounge Eng/Life Sciences Elec Eng 407a Sun) 6.10 9.10 Honey, I Blew Up The Kid 12.35 IC Christian Union The Outlaw Josey Wales 4.00 l-2pmor contact David Walker in 12-2pm. Strictly Ballroom 2.15 7.20 2.55 5.15 Grace and Works part 1 in Huxley Soft Top Hard Shoulder 6.45 Chem Eng 3. Fitness Club 5.30-6.30pm in Reservoir Dogs 5.00 9.45 Reservoir Dogs 7.35 9.55 308 starting at 6.30 till 8.00. Make The Cutter 9.00 ICSF Southside Gym Intermediate level MGM Fulham Rd Honeymoon In Vegas 11.15 2.35 of that what you will, they '11 say it's Scala open their Library every lunchtime Dance Club STUDENT Fulham Road, SW10 (071-370 5.00 7.25 9.45 devine inspiration. Faster pussycat kill, kill 4.40 9.20 to members who join for £3 Beginners Ballroom 6-7pm. 2636) South Ken tube then bus. A River Runs Through It 12.10 3.10 Mudhoney 3.00 7.40 SPLOTSOC Improvers Ballroom/Latin 7-8pm in ACCOMMODATION Seats £6; cones £3.50 Mon-Fri 6.00 8.55 SATURDAY Motorpsycho 1.30 6.15 Every Tuesday 12.15pm-1.30pm in the JCR. Intermediate before 5pm. This week: Lorenzo's Oil 12.20 3.20 6.15 9.10 Cinema Music Southside Upper lounge Ballroom/Latin(Social) 8-9pm. OFFICE Under Seige 1.10 3.40 7.00 9.30 Music Prince Charles My Life Story, Store In A Cool Fitness Club FilmSoc A River Runs Through A 1.10 3.50 Alice in Chains, Screaming Trees The Playhouse The Love Nest Place, Dead Beat. 5.30-6.30pm in Southside Lounge. 7.30pm Mech Eng 220. We have the following vacancies in 6.35 9.25 T&C, £7.50. Sherlock Junior 1.30 Marquee, £5. Advanced The Soup Run Lorenzo's Oil 1.00 3.45 6.35 9.25 Sheep on Drugs, Eskimos & Alien 3 3.45 Theatre Dance Club deliever Soup to homeless people Halls of Residence: The Bodyguard 1.00 3.45 6.35 9.25 Egypt, Drum Club, Aphex Twin Universe Of Dermot Finn 6.30 Etcetra Theatre Beginners Ballroom/Latin 6-7pm. meet at Weeks Hall 9.00 pm Hall Room Student Minema Rocket (PNL), £10. The Zebra Men 9.15 The Man in the Welsh lunatic Intermediate Ballroom/Latin Spanish Society 45 Knightsbribge, SW1 (071-235 Peter Stewart, Appleberry Electric Cinema Lunatic asylum and the man in the 8-9pm. Advanced Ballroom/Latin Meeting in Southside Lounge at 1 Type Required 4225) Knightsbridge/ Hyde Park Crescent, Experiment. Bugsy Malone 12.00 English Lunatic Asylum 8 pm 8-9pm. pm. tubes. Seats £6.50; cones £3.50 1st Splash @ Water Rats, £3. Mean streets 2.10 4.20 6.30 8.40 College Stoic Stoic Olave House Share (double) Female PG perf Mon-Fri for students. This Deep, etc. Scala Dance Club 1.15 Stoic News 1.15 Stoic News. 7.00 onwards week: Orange. Man bites dog 2.30 5.45 9.00 Beginners Rock and Roll 6-7pm in STOIC present Films, Features, Olave House Share (double) Male PG Cabaret to Sun 3.00 6.00 8.50 Theatre Henry, portrait of a serial killer JCR. Latin Medals 7-8.30pm WEDNESDAY Competitions and (of course) news Performance Late Fri, Sat at 11.30 BAC 4.15 7.30 Fitness Club Cinema Olave House Share (triple) Male PG Death In Venice Mon to Wed 3.00 176 Lavender Hill, SW11 071 223 Music 5.30-6.30pm in Southside Lounge. Prince Charles Southwell Hall Share (double) Female UG Notting Hill Cornet 2223, Membership £1. Dinosaur Jr, Come, Bettie Beginner Raise The Red Lantern 1.30 Notting Hill Gate, Wll (071-727 Sisters 8 pm till Sun £6-7.50, The Adjuster 4.00 Serveert. IC Cricket Club Clayponds Single M/F UG 6705) Notting Hill tube. Seats £5. Separtation 7.30 pm, till Sun, £5-6 Brixton Academy, £9.50. Meet Mech Eng foyer at 7.15 pmfor Patriot Games 6.30 FREE This week: Yerma 8.30 pm, till Sun, £5-6 Secret Life, Deja Vu, Aloof, training at MCC Cricket School. No Need For Heights 9.00 Fisher Hall Share (double) Female UG The Crying Game 3.20 6.00 8.30. Bush Workshy. Whites are Essential. Scala TICKETS TO SEE Late Sat at 11.00 Shepards Bush Green, SW11 071 ICA, £9. Live Football The MagikLantern Cycle 3.30 8.30 Deacon Blue—any UK dates over Odeon Kensington 223 2223 The Tragically Hip, The 4 Of And it's St David's Day so 10 Welsh Tongues untied 2.30 7.20 Easter 263 Kensington High St, W8 Sodom, L 'Amour fou, Boys life, Jesus Jones—30-31 March For further details, please call into the Not Fade Away 8 pm Not Sun, £6-9 Use. Beers will be promoted! Suzanne Vega—5 April (071-371 3166) Ken High St tube. Drill Hall T&C, £8.50. Ecco Homo, The place between our Sting—8-9 March Accommodation Office at 15 Prince's Gardens Seats £5.80 and £6.30 This week: 16 Chenies Street WC1, 071 637 Revs, Various Vegetables, Guns TUESDAY bodies 5.50 Bon Jovi—14-16 May, Wembley Under Seige 1.45 4.25 7.00 9.35. 8270. 'n' Wankers. Music contact: Cinema Lorna or Womble in Rag Office. Late Fri, Sat 12.10 THe Marriage of Figaro 7.30 pm, Bull & Gate, £3. Prince Charles The Wise Wound, Steve Carroll. A Few Good Men 1.10 9.20 £8-12 The Adjuster 1.30 Bunjies, £1.50. Hellraiser 3 4.30 7.00. Late Fri, Sat Etcetera Theatre Tetsuo 2 Bodyhammer 4.00 12.15 Page 18 Sport 26 February 1993 Felix 959 Basketball Hockey 10 Pin Bowling After beating Reading 6-3 in the IC 1st vs CXWMS Trios League First team report second round of the UAU the Cup semi-finals only mean one The trios league recently reached its The firsts recently defeated Brunei Imperial ladies team travelled down thing: you either win or you lose; climax when Wibble (M Bell, M University 8-2 in the first running to Exeter on Wednesday to play either the stirring vision of the 'twin Turner and H Al-Qassab) clinched of the Phil Wren Memorial Trophy. their quarter finals match. Exeter towers' or the slow team back from the title in a tense finish by just 2 The match was a high scoring were last year's runners-up after defeat. Fortunately our train came points from Hedgehog II (T Lee M one, which saw the C team break beating our ladies team in the in last week, today we were Lodero and S Chen) Going into the the club record high game semi-finals. dreaming of the hallowed (astro) last week any of the top three teams (previously equalled by this year's This year they again proved turf and the roar of 8 (thousand) could clinch the title and it was A team). The C team registered a tough opposition and although the fans. Our rare early one-nil lead delicately poised with 1st v 3rd and 3-1 win, thanks mainly due to an games were close ended up beating was soon knocked down through a 2nd v 4th. Both leading teams inspired (or was that just a fluke?) us 6-3. rare defensive debacle. We later scraped 6-2 victories. Hedgehog series by Ian Dogett (535) and Dave Big thanks must go to Debbie poked our heads above the coming back well after being Wilkins (508, with a 205 game) Shawcross from St Mary's quagmire long enough to fire a short hammered by the first game. providing the major contributions in badminton team for filling in at the corner past the sprawled goalie and Despite losing to Wibble, Swan an otherwise below par last moment for one of our players began our birthright. The second Vesta (R Tay, D Wilkins and J performance. who was unavailable. The other half was a limp affair but we Joyce) held onto third place. The A team came back from team members were Madhu dominated territorially at least Wibble took the high handicap losing the first game to register a Bhabuta, Jennifer Lau, Barbara through Samin and his amazing game with 449 whilst Hedgehog 3-1 win. Siang-Yong Lim (554), Spence, Uta Boltze and Wendy sword of Dobber. It ended 3-1, see took the high handicap series with Sam Chen (511, including a 200 Yates. you in the final. 1816. Both scratch awards go to 5th game) and Melvin Curran (490, in Unfortunately the men's first place Turkeys (P Sharpe, P West hitting a 444 series). team met their match in the second nd L Brockless) who bowled a new The ladies held on to get a 2-2 round then they played Nottingham club record 557 game and 1551 draw, although had Rachael Tay at home. Nottingham proved first If anyone wants to come along series. managed a strike with her last ball, class opposition and despite a brave and have numerous games of We now move on to the annual they could have won the match battle the men's team were badminston at very little cost then Spring Doubles Tournament, to be 2.5-1.5. In a very low scoring overpowered 9-0. The men's team new members of any standard are followed by the quest for club contest it is only worth mentioning were Captain Caveman, Martina, welcome at club nights on Mondays champion. Finally the season that only Rachael managed to bowl Bill and Ben the headband men, the and Fridays in the Great Hall or finishes with the inter CCU over 400, hitting a 444 series. beast man and Rudolph, otherwise Volleyball Court at 7.30pm. tournament in which RCS are Overall a very satisfying victory, known as Alan Craw, Martin Finally the AGM will be held on confident of removing the trophy with the team pinfall of 7229 very Sevenoaks, Jinyee Lim, Chai Lai Tuesday 2nd March at 1.00pm in from the vice like grip of C&G. The respectable by current student Tan, Richard Langford and Steven the JCR to elect next year's big question this year is will Mines standards (although we demolished Trussell. committee. manage to field a full team? this total in the Quarters against Scummers!). IC Football -Week 2 The final games of the first round Raks! Cypriot's topped group 2 with their group games took place this week, On Monday the Lebanese team unbeaten record. with all to play for. With the qualified for the quarter finals by The quarter-finals, semi-finals P W D L F A Pts competition for places at an default, by being awarded a 10-0 and final games will all be staged Pakistan 3 3 0 0 37 10 9 optimum the games were played at win due to the Malaysian team not next week (beginning 1.3.93) at the Lebanese 3 1 1 1 23 22 4 a thrilling pace and were full turning up. Also on Monday the times stated below. Teams who Chem Soc 3 1 1 1 22 22 4 blooded. Pakistani team topped group 1 with have qualified for the later stages Last Thursday saw a thrilling their third successive win. This will be notified to when they will Malaysian 3 0 0 3 5 33 0 game between the Sri-Lanka and week they beat Chem Soc 11-3 with be playing next week. They should GROUP 2 (final table) Chinese team. It was close all the their leading goal scorer getting make careful note of the times way to the end, with the equaliser another hat full. Wednesday below. P W D L F A Pts being scored by the Chinese team evening saw the Hellenic team beat The winners of the tournament Cypriot 3 3 0 0 31 14 9 with 15 seconds left. Friday evening the Indian team 11-6 with a will be presented with the winning Sikh 3 2 0 1 33 14 6 saw another good performance by numerous number of goals scored trophy, medals and cash prize on the Anti-Apartheid team beating a by Tellis (IC FC 1st Captain). On International Night on Friday 5th Hellenic 3 1 0 2 20 28 3 good Islamic team 12-5. The Anti- the same night a hard fought game March. The runners-up will also Indian 3 0 0 3 9 27 0 Apartheid team look very strong, saw the Cypriot team beat the Sikh receive medals and a cash prize on GROUP 3 especially when playing their team in a hard fought and the same evening. aggressive game by 11-6. The passing game, and are led well by Kuldip Sandhu. P W D L F A Pts RESULTS Chinese 2 1 1 0 13 6 4 Fixtures for the week beginning 26th February 1993 Group 1 * Sri Lankan 2 1 1 0 13 11 4 Pakistan 11 Chem Soc 3 Latin Amer. 2 1 0 1 13 14 3 Friday 26th Lebanese 10 Malaysian 0 6.00pm Anti Apar'd vs IC SEDS SEMI-FINALS (times) Group 2 CSSA 2 0 0 2 12 20 0 7.00pm Iranian vs Islamic Thursday 4th March Indian 6 Hellenic 12 QUARTER FINALS (times) 4.30pm Game A Sikh 6 Cypriot 11 GROUP 4 Tuesday 2nds March 5.30pm Game B Group 3 P W D L F A Pts 1.00pm Game 1 FINAL (time) Latin Amer. 11 CSSA 5 Anti Apart'd 2 2 0 0 19 8 6 2.00pm Game 2 Friday 5th March Sri Lankan 4 Chinese 4 Iranian 2 1 0 1 12 9 3 Wednesday 3rd March 3.00pm Group 4 7.30pm Game 3 Iranian 9 IC SEDS 2 Islamic 2 1 0 1 17 16 3 8.30pm Game 4 Anti Apar'd 12 Islamic 5 IC-SEDS 2 0 0 2 6 21 0

PB J— Felix is produced for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board and is printed by the Imperial College mm h I Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (Tel: 071-225 8672). Editor Jonty Beavan, Business Managers mm kl #% Simon Govier and James Grinter. Copyright Felix 1993. ISSN 1040-0711. Don't Felix 959 26 February 1993

MANIFESTO GUIDE The following pages should be approached with caution. They contain attempts to convince you to vote for certain people. Don't believe a single word, question everything that is written. Use your vote, but make sure the candidates earn your support THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC HEALTH ANNOUNCEMENT.

ALL POSTS New Election proposed by Winona Ryder

Are you finding yourself reading In the current political climate there the manifesto s of the other is no room for failure, candidates and wondering, who are STAND BY THE CANDIDATE these people? YOU CAN TRUST. VOTE NEW Do you feel that any of them ELECTION, possess the qualities necessary to be successful Sabbaticals? If the answers to these questions are no then VOTE NEW ELECTION. As the New Election candidate I am your opportunity to reject the other candidates. If I win then I promise you the chance to vote again and hopefully for the candidate you want. The coming year will prove to be a difficult one. Our Union will face a great deal of pressure, pressure that will focused on the Sabbaticals; their abilities will be tested and they will have many opportunities to fail.

Page 1 Believe

PRESIDENT Rachel Mountford proposed by Nicky Fox

I am a third year Civil Engineering of responsibility, the most notable wanting to serve food at events, and student, although most of you will being RAG Chair, and have sat on at Carnivals. probably know me better as the ICU Council, UFC and the Working 2. A review of sabbatical posts to RAG Chair. Party on Voluntary Membership. make them more relevant to the The Job I've also organised numerous events students they serve and more useful The Union president's job is over the last two years. to the clubs and societies they help. basically one of organisation and My Ideas I am standing for Union President representation. Within the Union I aim to make this union, the union because I think I have the right the president oversees organisation you want by: attitude and experience to do a good of the union and its staff and 1. Continuing the work started this job for all Mary's and IC students. officers. Within college, the job year in opening up the union to the I intend to do the job to the best of becomes one of representation of students. my ability and for the benefit of the the student body. By sitting on 2. Actively finding out what you students. various college committees the want from us. president ensures that student views 3. Working to provide the services are put across and student you want. requirements fulfilled. Other ideas I have include: 1. Creating the post of Catering Me Officer to help overcome problems During my time at college, I have caused by the new Health and gained a lot of experience in the Safety regulations. This would be union. I have held several positions of great use to overseas clubs

PRESIDENT Andrew Wensley proposed by Paul Holmes

My name is Andy Wensley and I The greatest change that students iii) To continue investment in the want your vote come election day. face is Voluntary Membership. If union building, from the toilet People may recognise me from we do not change now, we will all facilities and Ents lounge to working behind the Union bar, lose out, clubs and societies lose investigating a permanent 'night however I have also helped to run funding, Union services may be club' clubs, the financial side of our lost. If we start changing now, we iv) To improve the service of union Union, aside from being the Dep win a Union offering services and outlets, wherever possible and to Rep for Maths. Due to this events that we all want. develop shop outlets on the experience I was asked to help My experience puts me in good walkway review our Union and recommend stead to serve our students and aid I am standing because I believe changes. changes needed. I am easy to work that I would do a good, unbiased job The job of ICU president with, however I would not 'toe the and create a Union that serves all involves liaising within the Union College's line' but would work IC and St Mary's students. and College on matters such as where ever possible to further academic affairs, overseas students, student interests. Cheers, Andy sport and finance; being the public Not promises that can't be kept, face of our students to visitors, but general policies for next year whether they be from industry, i) Greater communication on Union charities; coordinating the 'arms' of activities and events around IC and our Union, facilitating good St. Mary's communication and initiating ii) To keep bar prices as low as is change. possible DEPUTY PRESIDENT David Goddard proposed by Sarah McCarthy

Election manifestos tend to be all interesting. security arrangements. the same - someone telling you what In reality, the people who do I haven't the space here to they think you want to hear in order most of the essential running of the elaborate further, so please read my to get your vote. They normally Union are the permanent staff, and flyer and feel free to have a chat contain various promises, often I plan to work with their experience with me. ones which sound good but are and knowledge. I believe that Proposer's bit: impractical, which they hope you'll continuity is important, and wish to Dave has set himself realistic forget after the elections are over. build on the successes of the past targets for next year, and he is one As manifestos seem to be pretty and prepare more for the future, of the easiest people to get on with obligatory in these elections, correcting any problems that occur that I have ever met, so I will put though, here's mine: along the way. This includes my neck on the line and say he will I'm currently a third-year physics increasing the value for money of DEFINITELY be the best man for student, planning a career in the trading outlets (while still the job. research. I have done a fair bit over keeping them financially viable), my time here for the Union, and I increasing the attractiveness of the currently work as a Union Steward, Union for all students (including in addition to other positions. I'm overseas students, postgraduates afraid I'm not a committee hack - etc.), ensuring fair, and good, I've sat on a number, and would be funding for clubs and societies, and lying if I told you that I found them further improving the Union

Page 2 DEPUTY PRESIDENT Hugh Eland proposed by Daniel Shields

Hugh really wants to be Deputy experience as a Union Steward and across the campus. President. He recounts his as Treasurer of a number of achievements; starting as a brown- societies. Specifically, I would like Accommodation:- With fiascos eyed bush-baby in STOIC, his to address the following areas: such as student accommodation meteoric rise through the serried during the holidays I shall be taking ranks of the Union and now the final Communications:- The a firm stand against ill-thought-out challenge. This year more than ever communication between the intentions of the College this job demands the competence, students and the Union is Accommodation Office. experience and motivation that only notoriously bad. The 'Reaching he can provide. From being at his Out' stalls which I organised Voluntary membership:- The desk at 9am to coping with the perils initially in the JCR and imminently government wants to put an end to of voluntary membership—Hugh at St. Mary's are the first steps to the NUS and in the process they would lead from the front. Vote providing easy access for students may well stop funding for many CCC. Vote Hugh! to the facilities. societies. I shall oppose any changes that would reduce the The responsibility of the Deputy College day:- The Union has not worthwhile activities of the Union President is, first and foremost, yet reacted to the new college and ensure that all concerned financial. I have been involved in hours; leaving students with wasted understand the benefits of Unions the creation of the new financial time whilst libraries, labs and the to a broad University education. procedures and could competently JCR stalls close during the students ensure their smooth introduction working day. I shall press for better and running. Furthermore, I have timetabling and improved services

HON SEC Max Jalil proposed by Demi Jones

Got a manifesto? Put it to the testo. accountable to you, and in order to and play together in the brave new Hi there, all you happy free gather your opinions I will make world that is Imperial College. thinking students of IC. I am Max myself available for questions and Currently an active Ents kiddy, Jalil, and I hope to be YOUR suggestions at least once a week to BroadSheet editor, second-year 1993/94 Hon-Sec. It has become try and get some feedback. Physicist and habitual patron of the increasingly apparent that current I will try to address the problems Union, my latent psychic powers I.C. events although adequate (and with the current Friday night Union (those strange voices in my head) occasionally excellent), are still in door charge and admission policies, tell me that I definately am the Max dire need of some added zip, and investigate the legal difficulties for the job. Cheerio. sparkle and pizazz, and a new minty that CCUs and societies have in taste. I feel that being approachable, preparing and selling food. friendly, responsible, committed I will revive the CCUs' now and experienced, I am the candidate nearly extinct role in staging events, to deliver this "bottled Pontin's encouraging joint events with Ents atmosphere". and Rag to diminish the risks of As Honorary Secretary I will be making a large loss. in a position to decide who gets I will encourage wide publicity which rooms in the Union when, for ALL ICU events. I will and for how much. I will use this publicise at ULU and at all the power to ensure only the best, most London colleges, so that arts sought after events are staged. students, science students, students I believe Ents should be of every sex and subject, can laugh HON SEC Charles Leary proposed by Graeme Hay

Page 3 FELIX EDITOR Ian Davies proposed by Mark Jackson

'I've known Ian 'Poddy' Davies every other task involved in the I'll think about it. since our first year, and have lived production of Felix. To try, and I know everyone says with him for two years. During this This is what I want to do next this, to make Felix a more open, time I have discovered that he year... v friendly place to be. almost never sleeps, a qualification A weekly london section,' If you want to know more, either vital for Felix editing. Life with him detailing the various bargain stores, come to the hustings, or accost me is never boring, always colourful cheap eateries, and assorted other in Felix, the bar, or anywhere else and full of surprises. I know he will junk in the areas of our lovely city, you see me - just look out for my bring all these attributes to the pages spreading out from Kensington and hat. If not, be sure to use your vote, of Felix, and I believe that there is Paddington to the outer reaches of and be sure to vote for Ian Davies. no-one better for the job' London. Cheers Mark 'Trig' Jackson, C&GU To encourage more input from Vice President. clubs and societies, to keep students informed of the amount of activities I've been writing for Felix since the available to them. rjegirining of 1991, mosdy under the To negotiate for an office in St. pseudonym Lise Yates, and I've Mary's, equipped to enable students edited the music pages since there to contribute, something that December 1991, reviewing, will never happen while Felix interviewing and pasting-up. I've remains trapped south of Hyde also taken photographs, written Park. front-page news stories, and almost If it's legal, I'll print it. If it's not,

FELIX EDITOR Rebecca Land proposed by Stuart Rison FELIX meetings separately. Make the PRINT UNIT time for the last three years in a News. Summarise national and section more readable. The Print Unit is mainly used for print shop, I have experience in international news and printing Felix, but it is not used to design, layout and running a developments in science, Clubs and Societies. Cover special its full potential. By publicising the printing business. technology and medicine. Run events. Give more details of sports cost of the facilities, it would features explaining the background results. Advertise future matches. become more accessible to students. to major news items. Cover news Printing for societies is at cost, so from other colleges and Union. Highlight more of the it is cheaper than external universities. Union's activities, including companies. By highlighting this, Council and other committee money could be saved. Reviews. meetings. Music: feature a wider range of ABOUT ME music. Work with IC Radio, Features. Try to get articles about I am a third year physicist and have reviewing playlist records etc. research within College and more been involved with Felix for the last Theatre, Cinema: Try to review 'arty' features, like short stories. two years. I am Features Editor this more popular films and shows. year and was Co-Editor of the last Books: review more scientific Delivery. After 1 l?m on a Friday, Handbook and Alternative books. Ask the Bookstore about there are no copies of Felix left in Prospectus, so I have experience in new publications. most departments. This has been a producing publications and working long-running problem. Solutions to deadlines. I can use most What's On. Highlight special include a second delivery or equipment in the Felix Office and events by societies. List regular increasing the number printed. Print Unit. Having worked part- FELIX EDITOR Whiskas the Mouse proposed by Jonty Beavan

Ever since my ingenious escape successfully produce a quality Felix and the RAG and Union pages from the Biology Department in every week but let me assure you, will have to go; a complete waste November 1991, I have gained the hours that have been spent on of space. The News pages are very refuge from the Felix office. But my wheel were not to kill time. Oh good although Declan Curry will instead of just running around in my no, they were toning up my muscles have to improve if the quality is to wheel and eating and sleeping, I and preparing me for the job. be raised to new heights. have been watching the editor Although this years Felix was So vote me, Whiskas T. Mouse, perform the day to day to task of good, it could be better. The for a year of Felices you'll never compiling Felix. Being editor seems Music pages need less photos, forget! a fairly easy job, with the added more quality reviews and possibly perk of unlimited caffeine although a new editor while the Features I will need plentiful supply of that are often long and boring need cheese. This will be my salary: to aimed at a more wider audience, Cheese and coffee. I require no for example, us mice. The What's money since not many shops accept On pages look absolutely shite with cash from a white mouse. Bastards! the appeal of a mousetrap and badly Some of you may be thinking that need changing. There also needs to I have not the required stamina to be more Opinion pages with a put in the long hours needed to limit set on the length of each letter

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