Wiseyes LLC [email protected] Title: Listen To Your Intuition And Avoid Making Mistakes Free! Introductory offer 3 Pages: 245

Language: English

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Description: 21st century street smart survival skills. Grooming your offspring to successful navigate safely away from home.

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Wiseyes LLC Series pre-publishing peek! Entertaining * Educational * Empowering * Enlightening *

Introductory Offer: 3 free! EBooks Listen to your intuition and avoid making mistakes

Series 1: Research Before Romance Or Finance

*Listen to your intuition and avoid making mistakes *Do your homework! *The dark side of silence

Series 2: Fight Or Flight?

*Securing your home *Know when and how to break up *Happily ever after requires communication

Series 3: What Are You Bringing To The Table?

*Body image 1 *How well do you really know you? *Love, money & independence

Series 4: Fatal Flaws

*Familiarity *What/who are you attracting into your life? *Deal breakers/Red Flags that shouldn’t be ignored

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Kitchen Table Politics: Including Your Kids In The Conversation Nourishing bodies and mind October 2016 Toledo Parent

I love my kitchen table. A few friends of mine made it out of wood left over from the repairs the front porch of our old house.

It’s one of those “trendy” farm style tables, but it was also quite cheap because it was repurposed from an intense building project. It seats 8-10 people and will be in our house for a long, long time.

Recently, my wife and I have been thinking about the role his table plays in our kids’ lives.

Heart of the home We have three daughters and they eat and draw and read and write at that table. They also laugh and scream and argue and spill and smear food at that table.

It holds a significant place in their life and whether they know it or not, it fills an important role in their development.

How to clean up and how to have fun with your family.

And while they are learning manners and listening skills they are also learning how Mommy and Daddy interact with each other.

Learning about conflict and resolution and sustenance and contentment and lack and want. It is the place our children are filled. We have some really great moments around this table. But what else our little ones are learning at this table?

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A few nights a week, after the kids go to bed, this table transforms into the space where my wife, Lindsey, and I discuss all different issues.

Sometimes we’re talking about what homeschooling might look like in upcoming weeks.

Sometimes we are talking about family and friends or what’s happening in the neighborhood or what bills we need to pay.

Sometimes we are talking about current events and headlines and political candidates and campaigns. And while the subjects may change, around this table everything is in some way connected.

Yet, we have found that sometimes there can be a hefty, and not so healthy, distance between the kitchen table experience our kids have and the kitchen table experience we have.

We want to merge the two. How can we talk about the issues that really matter to us with our kids? And especially in this election season, how can we talk to our girls about the political issues that matter to our family?

How can we begin to merge those two conversations when appropriate and formative to our young children?

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Recipe for success I think the best way to form some of the most central habits and perspectives in our children is to begin with those topics and issues that are most central to them.

Want to talk about poverty? Talk about hunger at the dinner table and see what conversation emerges. Sure, it may be easy to talk to my three daughters about the possibility of the first woman president in U.S. history, but what about crumbling infrastructure and pot hole ridden roads and tap water with microcystin?

Go to the lake and ask them what color the water should be. Then start to explore how the water became that shade of neon green.

The next time you are on a bike ride together ask them who should take care of the roads? All of these conversations, bit by bit, add up to something.

As we have started to explore these discussions, we found we need our children in this dialogue. They are the most creative, intuitive and imaginative people on the planet. Why not give them a shot at thinking about these things?

When we teach our kids, we force ourselves to become more informed. We gain perspective. By talking to our children we discover the issues that really matter.

It is an active practice that forces us to be involved. It forces us to research and dig for answers to those questions your kids ask that leave you stumped.

“Kitchen table politics” is a common term in political circles referring to issues that immediately affect our lives.

What is more immediate than our kids? What has a deeper effect than their well being? What if kitchen table politics referred to the issues that mattered to you so much that you had to talk to your children about it?

What would that list look like for you? I encourage you to explore it. Sam Meldon

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The Shocking Unbelievable Truth About Everything December 2010 Men’s Health

The Myth: Back talk cannot be tolerated

The Truth: Congratulations, your kid isn’t afraid of you. Back talk isn’t always a sign of disrespect or a harbinger of delinquency. He’s just not happy at the moment. The best antidote is disengagement.

Convey with words or body language: “I’m shutting down this conversation.” Give his fire no fuel, and walk away. He may follow you, but the heckling will die down. “They’ll learn it doesn’t accomplish anything,” says Anthony Wolf, PhD., Author of Get Out Of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl To The Mall?

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Question: Greg’s son, Matthew was expelled from school for arguing with a teacher. Isn’t the school required to readmit him?

Answer: If Matthew’s only offense was arguing with a teacher, he will probably be allowed to return to school soon. Students who disobey reasonable rules may be punished, but the punishment must also be reasonable.

Only those students who are so disruptive that they prevent the school from performing its functions may be expelled permanently.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Boy, 14, 900 block Hancock St. unruly juvenile Monday January 30 1: 42 p.m. 2100 block Hayes Avenue

Staff member spotted student walking hall during lock down drill, told him to go to the main office until drill was over. Boy mumbled something; staff member asked what he said. Boy said, “You don’t put no fear in my heart (expletive), I’ll slap the (expletive), out of you.”

Single Sensation: 4 Secrets For Single Parenthood Success Reviewed By: Brunilda Nazario MD WebMD Senior Medical Editor Raising children on your own? Family therapist William Doherty, PhD, offers these tips for avoiding solo parents’ top mistakes.

Be the leader. You’re exhausted after a long day at work. The kids are antsy for attention. It’s so much easier to cave and let them eat pizza in front of the TV while you retire to your room and recoup, or to trade sarcastic quips when they resist your authority --- but you mustn’t. “Don’t give up that position, or things will quickly degenerate,” Doherty says.

Pick your battles --- and your policies. Be willing to give on small things --- “how tidy their rooms are, or the crazy haircut,” suggests Doherty.

Tell your kids: “I’ll do my best to work around your schedules, too, but these are my rules and they will not be bent.”

Maintain rituals. Whatever you did together before as a family --- dining out every Tuesday night, following special holiday traditions, or reading stories before bed --- be sure to continue after a separation.

“You will be doubly exhausted now, but it’s doubly important,” says Doherty. “And most studies on the subject indicate the family dinner is the most important family ritual to maintain.”

Monitor your teens. “A big mistake single parent families make is losing track of their teenagers,” Doherty says. “Know who your child’s friends are.

Know where she’s going. Insist she check in whenever you ask her to.” Lauren Paige Kennedy

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Good Storybooks Help Instill Appropriate Social Behavior In Young Readers July 2012 Toledo Reads

We hear a great deal lately about the importance of social and emotional development in children. The State Of Ohio’s newest version of the Early Learning Content Standards will include indicators and the latest release of the Core Knowledge And Competency documents for early childhood professionals is a Social Emotional Field Guide.

Appropriate social behavior is a learned skill even though children are born to connect to others.

While we might think of children’s books as “good stories,” or entertainment, or a way to help a child become a better reader, there are some books for children that are so much more.

Reading any book with a child is sharing time one on one, of course, and helps build a positive, trusting relationship between child and adult.

However, some storybooks where characters face a moral dilemma, or are selfish, or greedy, or unkind, can allow children to think about what they might do faced with a similar situation. It is also a time for an adult to question the character’s behavior and help the child work through what might have been a good solution.

In Jamaica’s Find by Juanita Havill, a young girl finds a stuffed dog at a park. She takes it home and makes it her own. After some encouragement from her family, who remind her that perhaps someone else is missing the dog very much, Jamaica reluctantly returns it to the park ranger.

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The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle reminds children that being greedy and unkind to others usually does not end well. Stellaluna by Janell Cannon is a story of acceptance, when a mother bird raises a baby bat with the rest of her chicks. Swimmy by Leo Lionni teaches children cooperation.

The Bossy Gallito: A Traditional Cuban Folk Tale retold by Lucia M. Gonzalez, (a bilingual book) is a lesson in what happens when you think you can tell everyone else what to do.

Every family should read Mama Do You Love Me? by Barbara Joose. In this story an Eskimo child stretches the boundaries of independence, but regardless of behavior, has the unconditional love of his mother.

In learning discipline, a child needs guidance and a trusting relationship with the adults who care for him or her. Good storybooks can help parents and supporting adults ask questions in a comfortable setting.

The more practice a child has in sorting out actions that go with feelings, the more likely he or she will make good choices.

Ask your librarian for help in finding these stories and others like them. It just might play a part in helping you raise a socially competent and respectful young adult. Kathy Smith WGTE Public Media

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It’s NOT All Good: The Decline Of Manners In America By: Tami Jackson on February 22, 2015 Email Featured, Family, Featured

It was a sunny day and I decided to walk the couple blocks to Starbucks for my weekly treat … a cappuccino.

Along the way I passed some grungy looking teens, smiled and tried to get their attention and say, “Hi!” No luck.

I did, however, receive a friendly wave and good morning from, Bill, the sole indigent member of my little community who turns in cans daily for a living.

Bill, a Vietnam era fellow, with his dog Red (who rides in a trailer) bikes everywhere, never panhandles, drinks nor smokes. Bill is like the welcome wagon at the local gourmet supermarket: people all over the township love seeing the guy.

At Starbucks, I was waited on by a new face. The 20-something girl looked cranky and barked, “NEXT!”

I hurried up to her register, noticing her pierced metal nose thingy. I’ve since found out it’s called a “Septum barbell.” (Piercing code for grosser than gross.)

All I know is, the gal who took my order kept sniffing, and I couldn’t help but wonder if her nose would run and drip off those metal protrusions into cups of coffee. My stomach lurched at the mere thought.

(I was remembering, but felt it would be rude to share, about my Great Uncle Freddy’s bull named Wooly Bully who had a nose piercing. The big difference? It never was nauseating to see the Hereford with his piercing.)

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After I gave my standard order that the regulars all knew by heart, “grande, whole milk, free-pour cappuccino,” I scanned my iPhone card and cheerily told the nose- pierced-girl, “Thank-you so much!” Her response? “Oh…yea. No worries.”

Also no enthusiasm, no smile, and certainly nothing resembling good manners.

Maybe she was grumpy because she was forced by cruel parents to put that horrible looking thingy in her nose? Maybe it was painful and I should have offered to dial 911?

Later I asked the manager if the nose piercing was OK with her, and was told that Starbucks employees are instructed NOT to wear nose piercings while on shift. But I kept thinking about the experience. I am not a teenager, but I’m also not elderly. I guess I’m somewhere in the middle.

And I suddenly felt as though I was living in an alternate universe where ugly was thought to be attractive, and manners were antiquated.

Am I the only one who felt this way? Why don’t young people know the correct response to “Thank-you!” is a courteous “You’re welcome”?

I recollected a conversation about a decade earlier with a curmudgeon teen who, in response to a good manners comment, spat out:“What’s the big deal about manners? Manners are stupid! People ought to be able to do whatever they want with no one judging them ever. It’s all good…YA KNOW?” No. I don’t know. And it is NOT all good.

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That’s the trouble with dumbed down schools and too-busy parents. That’s what happens when the nuclear family is broken, let alone the extended family.

And that’s what happens with a society devoid of transcendent truth and values, a culture where situational ethics rule the day.

That culture raises up generations of rude and inconsiderate young men and women who haven’t a clue what etiquette means.

I was taught manners by my parents, my grand-parents, my great-aunts and great- uncles, by Sunday school teachers and pastors. And by the Bible.

I’ll never forget the day I was shopping with Grandma and learned a lesson in good manners. I was 10, my Grandma Eleanor was 53, and she was taking me to buy some clothes, then a treat. Treats in those days were always frozen Alta Dena Yogurt.

As Grandma and I approached the mall, I yanked the door open and started to enter first, when suddenly a hand firmly grasped my arm. I looked up to see Grandma, eyebrows raised, who admonished me:

“Tami…it’s polite to open doors FOR your elders.”

I was a little red in the face and embarrassed, but conceded and held the door and rebounded with, “AFTER you Grandma!” I never forgot that.

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I learned how to be a thoughtful driver from my dad.

To always write thank-you notes from Mom.

To visit elderly family members in the hospital or nursing homes from Grandma and her sisters.

I learned respect and (I know I’ll be castigated for using this outmoded word) obedience to authority from Dad and Grandpa Ole.

I learned how to set a table and good table manners from my parents and my extended family.

I even learned to be grateful for my blessings, meager though they might seem, and cheerfulness in spite of circumstances. When was the last time you saw a millennial and called them “cheerful”?

And what was at the heart of all these manners? The ability to put others first. Or in the words of the Apostle Paul to the Philippians: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

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Our civil society in America was founded on Judeo-Christian values which included HOW to treat others.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Somehow in the last few decades it’s become un-cool to have good manners. What a shame.

I asked my wonderful step-mom if she noticed a societal lack of manners. She did. And just a few days earlier had had someone respond to her, “Thank-you!” with: “No problem.” WRONG ANSWER. Again.

I guess this is what we can expect from 30 years of educators trying to tell kids that they are the center of the universe and using every modern method to give them high self esteem.

What these educators SHOULD be telling the kids is, IF you work hard and IF you give 100%+ effort, you have a chance to excel and the by-product will be self- esteem.

What the teachers should be teaching the youngsters is, IF you are polite and IF you treat others with kindness and deference, you will be blessed with friends and a by-product will be self-esteem.

What I don’t know is, how do we re-train 3 decades of selfish, impolite young people?

The death of manners in America signals more than rudeness and incivility.

The death of manners is the expected outcome of a nation abandoning its moral underpinnings and spiritual heritage.

Call me old-fashioned. Say what you will.

But oh how I yearn for the good manners my parents and grandparents revered. Emily Post where are you?

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Love & Laughter! Father reading to son at bedtime

“And because he kept his room clean, the prince grew up to become a shortstop in the major leagues.”

Direction And Respect Are Key Eric Young LISW-S Clinical Manager Early Childhood Mental Health Service

Did you know … that children typically follow directions 66%-70% of the time? Did you know … that you can improve your chances of your child following your directions 66% just by how you give the direction/command?

Be direct! Say, “Please put your shoes on.” Avoid indirect statements that ask questions such as “Can you put your shoes on?” “Will you put your shoes on?” “Would you …”

These are questions and young children often honestly answer with “no.” Tell him what TO DO rather than what not to do. Say, “Please walk” instead of “Don’t run.” “Keep your hands to yourself,” instead of “Don’t hit.”

Give her one direction at a time instead of several at once. Say, “Brush your teeth” instead of “Brush your teeth, put your pajamas on and get a book.” Be specific. Say, “Please put your cars away” or “Say please” instead of “Pick up all your toys” or “Be nice,” “Be good.”

Make sure it is age appropriate and you’re sure the child can do what’s asked.

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Be polite Say “Please” before the command. It models respect and your child will imitate your good and (bad)! Behaviors.

Use a neutral tone of voice instead of yelling or pleading

Limit explanations Give a brief explanation before the command. Say, “It is time for bed, please brush your teeth.” Or, “There are lots of cars moving in the parking lot, please hold my hand.”

Give choices when appropriate “Please pick up the red blocks or that book.” “You can wear the blue shirt or the yellow shirt.”

Save direct commands for important times. Wearing a seat belt. Brushing teeth. Putting on a jacket. Holding your hand when necessary.

Wait Give 5-7 seconds to respond

Give a consequence for following or not following the direction It is important to immediately praise the child for following directions. “Thank You for following directions!” I love when you listen right away!” Or follow through with removing an activity or toy or place in timeout for not listening.

Practice with little, easy requests at first and work your way up. Be sure to praise and then watch the compliance go up! Good Luck!

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Ask Laskas Jeanne Marie Laskas

Question: I have been married only a short time and I love my wife dearly. She has a daughter who’s 8 and a son who’s 17.

The boy is very lazy.

When he’s told to do chores, he does a half hearted job.

He’ll step around everything as if he can’t see that it needs to be cleaned up.

My wife tells me to speak to him, but she also says I complain too much.

We’ve had several fights about this. I’ve taken everything away from him, but he just sits there doing nothing. Out Of Patience Pop

Dear Pop: Blended families can be enormously difficult, so cut yourself some slack.

Give yourself bonus points because you’re handling a teenager --- life’s trickiest personality package.

Good job! See how good that feels?

Now please apply this same lesson to Slacker Boy. If he doesn’t get some positive reinforcement from you soon, you’re going to lose him for good. He actually does his chores? This is advanced! Tell him to notice. Tell him “Good job!” Tell him you expect more of him because you love him and value his role in the family.

Tell him, specifically, one extra thing you’d like him to do.

When he does it, praise him out the wazoo.

Repeat often. [email protected]

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Dear Annie: I am engaged to an intelligent, beautiful, loving woman. We both work full time and see eye to eye on just about everything. However, we are becoming increasing frustrated with her four kids when it comes to doing their laundry, putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher, walking the dog etc … If a trash can is overflowing, they simply pile more on top of it instead of taking it outside.

These kids are between 13 and 21. We want them to take responsibility for their actions and take pride in their home. We have tried making lists and assigning tasks, punishments, and rewards, to no avail. During our most recent conversation with the kids, one said, “It’s too difficult to remember.” Another said, “You can’t make us do it.” Two of these kids are working.

Any suggestions? Frustrated In The Midwest

Dear Frustrated: Some children need to be reminded to help around the house, and the reminder has to stick. Mom should tell them that neither of you nor she is a servant and they all need to care for their living space. Any children over 18 should be nicely encouraged to move into their own places, which will highlight their choices. The younger kids should have privileges restricted if they do not follow the house rules.

But Mom has to enforce these rules, or nothing will change. [email protected]

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Life In These United States

“Our teenagers weren't happy when we put our house up for sale. It meant they had to keep their rooms clean for prospective buyers.

After realtors stopped coming by, the kids got suspicious.”

“I've been cleaning my room for six months,” complained our son. “When is this house going to sell?”

My wife laughed. “Oh, we meant to tell you --- we took it off the market three months ago.” Peter N.

Four Six Packs To Consider When You Consider Fatherhood June 17, 2013 The Press

Research has shown that fathers can have a dramatic impact on society, by teaching their children responsibility, discipline, independence, and a quiver of other skills and attitudes that can target success.

Unfortunately, fatherhood does not require a license, a degree, or any training.

And there's no penalty for doing it poorly.

Do the right thing.

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Ask Laskas Jeanne Marie Laskas

Question: My 16 year old daughter never picks up her room. It’s her only “chore.” My husband, however, feels we should clean her room for her “so it doesn’t get out of control.”

Every morning, he goes in her room and picks something up or turns off her lights. Because I’m a stay at home mom, he gets angry with me for not helping.

Should I take my husband’s advice and clean up her room daily, or should I just close the door on her mess? How do I convince him it is not our responsibility? Help! Worried Mom

Dear Worried: How did a kid’s messy room become an argument between the parents? You and your husband have been outmaneuvered.

You must sit down immediately and hammer out a united strategy. As long as the grownups are divided, Sweet Sixteen will have all the power in that house.

Your instincts are correct: Hubby’s “help” is enabling yet another teenager to live like a slob. The girl needs to clean her own darn room.

She needs to take responsibility for her stuff, and she needs to know the pride that comes from getting mastery over her living space. I prefer positive rewards to punishment when it comes to room cleaning.

Help your messy teen get organized the first time, and then make a huge fuss each day she keeps it that way. Involve ice cream, chocolate, and other rewards that worked when she was six. They still work! [email protected]

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Ask Laskas Jeanne Marie Laskas

Question: Our son and daughter, both college grads, live at home.

My wife makes all their meals, does their laundry, and even cleans their rooms. This really annoys me --- our kids aren't contributing, and my wife and I have less time together.

I've made my feelings known, but apparently I'm the only one who thinks there's a problem. Any suggestions? Furious Father

Dear Furious: Usually, if someone thinks there's a problem, there's a problem. Tag, you're it! Call a family meeting.

Explain yourself again, and keep your (understandable) anger under control. Make the point that Mom has done her job, and the kids must start taking responsibility.

Suggest changes: Have your kids take turns making dinner; tell them that if they don't do their laundry, it doesn't get washed. And tell your wife to stop enabling these slackers --- then plan a date night to back it up. [email protected]

Police: Mom Burns Son’s Dirty Clothes June 6, 2014 The Register

Crossville, Tenn. --- A Tennessee woman ended up in jail after she burned her grown son’s clothes in an apparent attempt to persuade him to clean up after himself, police said. Cumberland County sheriff’s deputies were dispatched to a house in Crossville early Saturday morning to respond to a report of a domestic disturbance.

When they arrived, they found a pile of clothes burning in the carport.

According to Deputy Chuck Hennessee, the son, Daniel Hill, said he and his mother, Theresa Marie Conley, 53 had been drinking, and while he was passed out on the couch, his mother gathered up several articles of clothing he had left lying around the house, including his work uniforms, carried them to the carport and set them on fire.

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Book: Chicken Soup For The Soul Think Positive By: Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen October 2011 Woman’s World

A blessing in disguise Melanie feared that losing her job was the end of the world, but it was really just the beginning of a brand new --- and even better one!

When my staff and I were named the number one unit in our company, we went out for a celebratory lunch.

It was fun, and the camaraderie at the table made me smile. After lunch, I checked my e-mail, and a message popped up for a teleconference later that afternoon.

Two o’clock came --- time for the teleconference. Our associate director’s voice was somber as he told us, “You are all being relocated to Ohio, if you cannot move, you will be given a severance package and sixty days notice.”

I felt numb. Most of us had been with the company for years. None of us, for various reasons, would be able to relocate. My team and I would be out of work.

I was scared. My husband had a good job, and the severance and our savings would keep us going for a while, but I had worked full-time my whole life. My job was my identity. Who would I be with that taken from me?

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The first few days after my job ended, I moped around the house. I sent out resumes, but job postings in my field were few and far between.

One day, while feeling sorry for myself, I watched a TV show about a group that helped children and hungry people. I felt guilty knowing that even though I’d lost my job, we had food on the table every night.

I realized I’d been wallowing in self-pity when I had so much to be thankful for --- a loving husband, beautiful children, family and friends. I could either continue to focus on what I had lost, or count my blessings and bless others.

I decided to cook a great meal for my family that night. I was assembling the ingredients when one of my daughters walked into the kitchen and asked if she could help. As we basted and baked, we laughed and talked. I told her how my mother and grandmothers had let me help them cook when I was a little girl.

After dinner, it occurred to me that I had never taught my children to cook.

I’d always cooked for my family, but I’d always been too busy to give them the gift of learning how to prepare a meal for loved ones.

I announced to my children that I was going to start a “cooking school” for them. They groaned, but I convinced them to try.

The next day, we put on our aprons. Instead of rushing to put something quick on the table between business meetings and reports, I got to take time to enjoy cooking and eating the meal we created.

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Plus I got to share the company of my four children. They brought so much joy to my life. Because I had based my worth on my career, I had forgotten what was really worthwhile and who I really was --- a wife and mother to these amazing people who deserved my time and affection.

Cooking school became a time of laughter, love and learning.

I did eventually go back to work, but I found a job that allowed me to spend more time with my husband and kids.

I had thought losing my job was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. But, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

While I had thought losing my job was the end of who I was, it was really only the beginning of discovering the real me.

Excerpted from Finding The Real Me a story by Melanie Adams Hardy

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Kids Health: Teach Your Children Well April 2012 WebMD the Magazine

Adult role models are crucial to a child’s emotional development and well being.

“We have the important task of teaching children to grow up to be good citizens of the world,” says Bonnie Maslin, PhD, a Psychologist and Author of Picking Your Battles: Winning Strategies For Raising Well Behaved Kids.

“Life is a team sport, and you want them to be really good members of the team.” Maslin offers a few tips for parents: Be consistent

“You don’t need to punch a time clock or be Mother Teresa, but children need a sense of rhythm and predictability.

It gives them a feeling of calm and internal organization, which is at the core of personal success,” says Maslin. Whether you promise a child an hour a week for a certain activity or your family three weekly dinners, make it a priority.

Apologize when you let them down “There’s no shame in saying you’re sorry, and that teaches children they can discover a better way to approach something later,” she says.

Teach them to reach out “The best antidote to bullying is friendship,” Maslin says. “Teach a child how to be a good friend and also how to extend helping hands to strangers.”

Be an available source “Let them talk about whatever they want with their friends. But make sure you are the one giving them the information about important subjects,” she advices.

Don’t just give respect --- ask for it “Respect is a two way street, and I think we lose track of that,” says Maslin. “It’s important to teach children that you are a person just as they are. Otherwise, life is like bumper cars, and we’re just crashing into each other.” RAW

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Books: The Best Parenting Advice Ever: You Will Make Mistakes May 2009 Redbook

Ayelet Waldman’s Bad Mother explores how it feels to be a parent in a world where your every maternal move is judged. Here, she wonders how her sexual past will affect her kids’ expectations.

“I want my kids to understand how important sex is, but also how unimportant it is. It’s a part of life, a delightful part of being a grownup.

But having it or not shouldn’t define you … This is another one of those tightrope walks that make up so much of parenting. One misstep in either direction and you’re bouncing in the net (or lying on the ground in a crumpled heap --- depending on how bad you’ve blown it).”

Notebook: Mother Load April 2012 More

Anne Enright’s Making Babies (Norton) is at once a memoir, a reference manual and a cautionary tale about the conflicting emotions of parenthood.

After 18 years of marriage, Enright, best known for her brilliantly perceptive fiction, decided to start a family.

She recounts her experience with darkly funny commentary, describing impulses that most mothers would prefer to conceal.

Enright’s honesty can be brutal, and people without a wicked sense of humor will certainly cringe. But for those who’ve grown weary of hyped up super parents and their relentless positivity, her candor is welcome. Meredith Norton

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Raising A Reader Don’t limit conversations with your children

Were you raised with the adage that “children should be seen and not heard?” While that might imply that children should not be disrespectful, it should never mean that we limit our conversations with them.

Talking with children not only helps them build vocabulary, but is also the basis for a lasting relationship, where learning can take place.

Betty Hart and Todd Risley concluded in their preface to the 2002 printing of Meaningful Differences In The Lives Of Young Children, “By giving children positive interactions and experiences with adults who take the time just to talk to them, children will get vocabulary, oral language, and emergent literacy concepts to have a better chance to succeed in school and in the workplace.”

That means talking with children beyond the “business language” of “brush your teeth” or “time for bed.”

Talk with a child about something that is interesting to him or her. That might be about becoming a princess or driving a cement mixer! Kathy Smith WGTE Public Media

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Book: Straight Talk No Chaser By: Steve Harvey

Question: For single mothers raising boys, what is the number one thing we can teach them to help them form healthy relationships with the opposite sex?

Mr. Harvey: Avoid sharing with your young sons the reasons you and your man aren’t together.

Doing this accomplishes little more than dumping information onto a person who is too young to process it.

Instead, talk to him constantly about how you like to be treated --- what makes you feel good as a woman and a mother.

He’ll remember that you like to have doors opened for you, chairs pulled out, a person who listens respectfully when you’re talking, and who tells the truth when he’s asked questions --- all things big and small that he’ll need to remember and practice when he gets into his own relationships with women.

The best thing you can do for your sons, though, is get them strong male role models they can emulate --- men who can supplement the incredible job single moms everywhere are doing with their boys.

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Elle says December 6, 2010 at 11:05 pm

Barry raised an interesting, if not slightly confusing, issue about from whom and how men learn to treat women.

He suggested this is internalized from lessons (formal and informal) in the household, ideally from the father (I am inferring that it was his father who beat him senseless).

But then, later, he says that we, adult women, have to teach men how to treat us. As an armchair sociologist, I think we do, but this is only as an unfortunate result of fathers avoiding this instruction of their young sons (and probably many other variables in the family set-up).

The AC’s I know often have absent fathers (either not there or present in the house, but weak disciplinarians) and mothers who infantilize and indulge. Basically, I am more and more of the view that you should (as much as possible) meet someone already well-socialized because training someone is tiring and usually thankless.

Anyway, there’s a lot to think about and take from these comments --- manipulation is easy, and drama and vanity contaminates and creates distance and space for all sorts of dysfunctional behavior.

Some of this is gendered --- women --- on the whole --- are at least ostensibly more interested in a serious relationship and tend to be more sensitive to outward judgment (and therefore more likely to approval-seek, engage in fantasy and be more easily malleable), but, once you know how to do it, it’s not that hard to use people, and, quite frankly, I have found the men I have dated in recent weeks to be ridiculously dramatic and worried about the future (and what things mean and what I think about them).

In any case, I am with Grace, it’s essentially a human issue. Humans can be real sh*ts if they want to be.

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Interview With Steve Harvey A Jamie Foster Brown Interview

Mr. Harvey: I know they like the boy. So once they come home to introduce them to their father, who they know is …

Ms. Foster-Brown: Crazy! (Laughs)

Mr. Harvey: Oh, and they know I know the game. My daughters’ know when you come in here with my father; you’re going to have to shake his hand. You cannot call him Steve Harvey. See boys come to the house, “Steve Harvey, hey man.”

I’m Steve Harvey when you see me in the street. But you’re dating my daughter --- probably going to need to call me Mr. Harvey because that’s how I’m going to act.

I’ve told every last one of them boys, you can argue with my daughter, you can not like her anymore, you can break up with her, but if you put your hands on her I’m going to beat you’re a## like you ain’t never had it whupped before.

Ms. Foster-Brown: What do they do when you say that?

Mr. Harvey: First of all, they throw it back. Like, why you telling me this? One dude told me, “Mr. Harvey, you don’t even have to tell me this.” Yeah, I do, because I want you to know the rules upfront. My daughter got a crazy mouth because she’s just like me. So she’s going to get on your nerves shortly. Break up, fall out, quit speaking to her, but if you put your hands on her, I’m kicking you’re a## every time I see you. I’m jumping on you.

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N.C. Central Football Coach Fired Week Before Opener August 23, 2013 USA Today

Henry Frazier has been fired as football coach at North Carolina Central, nine days before the August 31st opener at Duke. The school gave no specific reason for the firing Thursday, but it cited personal issues Frazier was facing. Those matters caused the school to shift attention from athletics and student athletes.

Frazier was suspended in May 2012 after his arrest on a charge of assaulting a female. At the time, authorities said Frazier and his wife were arguing at their home when the alleged assault occurred.

Frazier was reinstated as head coach two months later. The school said assistant head football coach Dwayne Foster would serve as interim head coach.

Ravens’ Rice Suspended First 2 Games Of Season July 25, 2014 The Blade (Associated Press)

Owings Mills, Md. --- Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rick received a 2 game suspension from the NFL on Thursday, following his off season arrest for domestic violence.

The six-year veteran was arrested following a February 15th altercation in Atlantic City, New Jersey, in which he allegedly struck his then fiancée Janay Palmer.

“It is disappointing that I will not be with my teammates for the first two games of the season, but that’s my fault,” Rice said in a statement issued by the Ravens. “As I said earlier, I failed in many ways. Update: Rice fired

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Today In History: September 16th

In 2007, O.J. Simpson was arrested in the alleged armed robbery of sports memorabilia collectors in Las Vegas. (Simpson was later convicted of kidnapping and armed robbery and sentenced to nine to 33 years in prison).

90 Years Of The ENQUIRER October 10, 2016 The ENQUIRER

Not only did the The ENQUIRER grab O.J. in handcuffs in 1994, but we cracked the case on his infamous Bruno Magli shoes, which matched a print at the murder scene.

Johnson Released Early From Jail June 18, 2013 The Blade

Fort Lauderdale, Florida --- A contrite Chad Johnson apologized Monday for disrespecting a judge when the former NFL star slapped his attorney on the backside in court last week and was released from jail after only a week instead of 30 days.

Broward County Circuit Judge Kathleen McHugh accepted Johnson's apology and cut back his jail term for a probation violation to the seven days he had already served since the rear swatting.

Johnson, a flamboyant wide receiver formerly known as Chad Ochocinco, said in court that he'd had time to think about why his flippant attitude was wrong --- especially in a domestic violence case.

“I just wanted to apologize for disrespecting the court last time,” said Johnson, wearing a tan jail jumpsuit with his hands shackled at the waist. “I apologize. I did have time to reflect on the mistakes I made in this courtroom.”

Johnson walked out of jail shortly after 4 p.m. and was met by his attorney Adam Swickle, and sports agent Drew Rosenhaus. Johnson told reporters he was thankful to McHugh because she was the first person to get him to slow down and think about the path his life was taking.

“No one has been able to do it, not even my parents,” he said. “I thank her. Everything she did was justified.”

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Refresh Your Parenting Style

You’re trying to get things done, your kids won’t leave you alone and you’d do anything for a little peace.

Karen Maezen Miller, the Author of Momma Zen: Walking The Crooked Path Of Motherhood, says the first step toward being more patient is to focus on what’s happening right at this moment.

“Children are always asking for things, and you say, “Not right now.”

In return, you are asking them things and they say,” not right now.”

It’s a message of resistance and conflict,” she says. Because Zen is all about paying attention, Miller’s remedy is to give your kids one hour of your undivided attention every day.

She sets a kitchen timer for 60 minutes and then does whatever her daughter wants --- often playing Barbie’s.

This isn’t about getting your child to do a chosen activity, she cautions, but about following her agenda. If the thought of playing dolls for an hour throws you into a panic, the timer will remind you there’s a way out.

Then you can relax and give in. Do this regularly and you may find that children don’t need the full hour and aren’t acting up as often. If you pay attention, they won’t have to misbehave to get it.

Says Miller, “I have come to view attention to magic elixir.”

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Ways To Show Love For Your Child On Valentine’s Day February 13, 2012 The Press

Thinking of giving chocolates, greeting cards and other tokens of affection to your child this Valentine’s Day.

The American Academy Of Pediatrics offers these tips for Feb 14th and every day.

Use plenty of positive words with your child. Try to avoid using sarcasm. Children often don’t understand it, and if they do, it creates a negative interaction.

Respond promptly and lovingly to your child’s physical and emotional needs and banish put downs from your parenting vocabulary.

Be available to listen to your child when he/she want to talk with you even if it’s an inconvenient time.

Make an extra effort to set a good example at home and in public.

Use words like “I’m Sorry,” “Please,” and “Thank You.”

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When your child is angry, argumentative or in a bad mood, give him a hug, cuddle, pat, secret sign or other gesture of affection he favors and then talk with him about it when he’s feeling better.

Use non-violent forms of discipline. Parents should institute both rewards and restrictions many years before adolescence to help prevent trouble during teenage years.

Allowing children of any age to constantly break important rules without being disciplined only encourages more rule violations.

Make plans to spend time alone with your young child or teen doing something she enjoys. Send a Valentine’s Day card to your older child or teen.

Make Valentine’s Day cards together with your preschool or younger school aged child.

Mark family game nights on your calendar so the entire family can be together. Put a different family member’s name under each date, and have that person choose which game will be played that evening.

Owning a pet can make children, especially those with chronic illnesses and disabilities, feel better by stimulating physical activity, enhancing their overall attitude, and offering constant companionship.

One of the best ways to familiarize your child with good food choices is to encourage him to cook with you. Let him get involved in the entire process, from planning the menus to shopping for ingredients to the actual food preparation and its serving. It is wonderful when families eat together as much as possible.

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Good food, good conversations.

As the child grows up, she’ll spend most of her time developing and refining a variety of skills and abilities in all areas of her life.

You should help her as much as possible by encouraging her and providing the equipment and instruction she needs.

Start reading to your child beginning at six months.

Avoid TV in the first two years, monitor and watch TV with your older children and use TV time as conversation time with your children.

Limit computer and video games. Your child’s health depends significantly on the care and guidance you offer during his early years.

By taking your child to the doctor regularly for preventative health care visits, keeping him safe from accidents, providing a nutritious diet, and encouraging exercise throughout childhood, you help protect and strengthen his body.

Help your child foster positive relationships with friends, siblings and members of the community.

One of your most important gifts as a parent is to help your child develop self esteem. Your child needs your steady support and encouragement to discover his strengths.

He needs you to believe in him as he learns to believe in himself. Loving him, spending time with him, listening to him and praising his accomplishments are all part of this process.

Don’t forget to say, “I love you” to children of all ages.

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Mommy & Me Time April 2011 WebMD the Magazine

Be a “good enough” mother Rosenberg cites Donald Winnicott, a mid 20th century English pediatrician and psychoanalyst who made the concept of the “good enough” mother famous.

“You don’t need to be Super Mom,” she says.“Your job as a parent is to provide your children with healthy food, safe shelter, good education, love, respect, and nurturing. But no one ever said it all has to come solely from you.”

Lauren Forcella: Straight Talk For Teens Toledo Mom Asks For Advice

Dear Straight Talk: There is something going on that my daughters don't want me to know about. They've started locking their room and I hear them talking in hushed tones I can't understand.

When I asked why they're locking their door, they said they need “privacy.” They aren't shy about my seeing them nude, so what are they hiding? I worry it could be drugs, though I haven't observed any symptoms.

I haven't forced the issue, but I'm not sure how to best handle it. Mom

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Taylor 17: My parents always knew when I was lying. I planned a secret Halloween outing freshmen year, but my mom suspected and went through my texts. Snooping has its place, especially with younger teens, and I see why she did it.

She goes through my 13 year old brothers texts, Face book, etc … because he's younger and has a bad track record. I'm almost 18, own my car and phone, and have earned her trust.

If you're really worried, ask about it. My brother and his friend started closing the door to talk and Mom was all worried, until she overheard them, and I kid you not, they were talking about a girl he liked.

Justin 17: Casually check their room while they're away. If you find signs of drugs or alcohol, knee jerk anger can push them toward the problem versus a calm, firm resolve.

Most likely it's a relationship issue, possibly even friends. If they're underclassmen, let them figure it out. If they're younger, emphasize your desire to help, not hurt or embarrass them.

Elle 19: Some girls don't feel safe sharing guy issues, friend issues, or what really happens at school. I've kept many things from my parents due to lack of trust and disrespect for certain decisions they made which indirectly hurt me. Because parents erroneously chalk up everything to “hormones,” I just yelled, “I'm PMSing OK?” when they showed concern.

Beware this diversion tactic. Do your daughters have a clean track record? Maybe they're planning a surprise. Ask, conversationally, what kind of privacy they're referring to. Share from your own past the relief of ending a secret. It's up to your to discern if they need help. Teens often don't ask for help even when they know they need it. Be the parent.

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Kira 22: This could be something serious. But probably not drugs. Your daughters sound close. One could be protecting a secret for the other, something they're afraid you'll react to. Note behavior changes and see what happens.

Ultimately, trust your gut.

Stephanie 23: Teens naturally want privacy and take some risks. Parents take risks when they snoop. Many friends with snoop happy parents were resentful and rebelled outside the home. Plus, snooping can be addictive. That said your teens' safety comes first.

My mother told me, “If you make the biggest mistake in the world, tell me. I'll still love and help you.” Say something similar, plan some special outings, and share your concerns. If you get nowhere and alarm bells keep ringing, it's time to snoop.

Dear Mom: I hope the panel was helpful. If there's legitimate cause, even teens want you to snoop. We've done columns on it. Conspiratorial whispering behind locked doors is hardly cause in itself but prolonged, or combined with a bad track record or other “off” behavior, including avoidance and/or isolation (generally timed so you won't see drug symptoms), it is.

And I would never ignore a gut feeling. It's your job to constantly delve. Their casualness around nudity rules out abuse (bruises), anorexia, and cutting/burning. FYI, it's not snooping to check social media pages regularly and I recommend it. Use www.urbandictionary.com for translation. Lauren www.straighttalkadvice.org

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Toledo Parent: Mother Mayhem: Motherhood Only the brave need apply: Job title: Mother

Job description: Responsible for assisting, nurturing, guiding and protecting offspring safely into adulthood and possibly beyond (if said offspring need additional time to “find themselves” or other random disasters).

Physical requirements: Must have the ability to support a 26 pound clinging appendage that is limited to single word requests such as “juice,” “blanket,” or “cookie.”

Ability to play Chutes and Ladders while simultaneously constructing Lego creations, all while balancing infant in lap and keeping a large canine away from food products held by anyone present in the room under three feet.

Must be capable of suppressing gag reflex when faced with dirty diapers, vomit, snot, reaching in garbage disposals and anything that comes out of either end of a canine; dock spider removal, water snake “relocation” and talents in eradicating rodents are a plus.

Must be capable of wheeling carry on suitcase while like a heat seeking missile, keeping track of offspring, paperwork and plastic container full of Cheerios.

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Knowledge skills and abilities: Communication and PR skills mandatory, as you must convince teens that the zit on their nose is not as big as it appears.

Also, it may be necessary to look the offspring in the eye while grasping a steering wheel with white knuckles and tell them that although they may not be able to see a darn thing from the passenger side while driving through a horrific storm, from your seat as the driver, things are crystal clean and everything will be OK.

Proficient coaching skills necessary in athletic endeavors. Skills may also be needed to encourage first time tampon users through closed door, urging child out of house after catastrophic haircut or telling child that even after staring at the same pine tree while kayaking in a wind storm, that you are really making progress.

Must come equipped with “Buck Up Beaver” speeches such as “F” does not stand for “failure” but rather “find out” and “follow through” as well as the standard “Success comes in a “can” not a “can’t.”

“Someday we will think this is hilarious” will be used numerous times. It is especially helpful if child does not sufficiently back up, pulls forward and rams into the car parked next to them in front of the Department Of Motor Vehicles BEFORE taking the driver’s test.

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Educational requirements: A junior engineering degree helpful, especially while putting together anything that comes in directions and small parts.

Nursing skills a must for diagnosing a real ailment versus “I didn’t do Brit lit homework it is.”

Must have a keen sixth sense to enable you to know where every charger for every electronic device, clothing and assorted missing items are located.

Please Note: Performance reviews will be given randomly by the older generation, in laws and other women with the “mother” title, especially those who have memorized the school calendar, volunteer at every event and know how to make cute costumes on a budget.

As you progress, the offspring may contribute their opinions on your performance as well.

Compensation: Once entering the mothering profession, you will find that every time your wallet opens, the money will fly out. However, the more love you give the more you will receive.

Position summary: This job is highly demanding. Your body (things that once headed north may venture in the opposite direction, and whose bright idea was it to have hormonal fluctuations the same time teens get behind the wheel?) and mind (a few cells have to shrink after keeping track of everyone’s schedule while at times sleep deprived) may take a beating, but your spirit will soar with every payment of a hug, laugh and “I love you.”

The major downside of the position is that it goes by far too quickly and your heart may break a bit as you see the offspring gain greater independence and your job responsibilities diminish.

If you are a passionate, idealistic, adaptable woman who does not wince at words such as “carpool,” “team rep mom” or “sleepover,” be assured “Motherhood” is the opportunity of a lifetime that comes with endless benefits and priceless payments. Mary Helen Darah

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Advice For Getting Through To Your Kids August 2013 Book Page

As anyone who's ever raised a child will tell you, they don't come with instructions.

Well, that may be true, but this fresh new crop of parenting guides offers stellar advice to help you raise healthy, happy, creative and productive kids.

Creativity for life Julia Cameron has sold millions of copies of The Artist's Way, her seminal book on how to find and embrace your creativity. In The Artist's Way For Parents (Tarcher, $26.95 288 pages, ISBN 9780399163722), Cameron helps parents unleash their children's creativity and sense of wonder.

The beauty of Cameron's advice is that she offers very specific, un-daunting exercises for the, shall we say; less artistically inclined among us.

For example, she suggests spending an entire evening with no screens: no iPads, no TV, no movies. That's it.

Don't force watercolors and canvases on your child. Just spend time together and see what happens. “This may cause a great deal of resistance and anxiety, but if you can power through, the connection you will ultimately make with yourself and your family members will be deeper for it,” she says.

There is definitely a spiritual bent to Cameron's work --- readers of her memoirs know she is a Christian. But hers is a gentle, ecumenical approach, and she is never off putting. Rather, her interest is in supporting calm, loving environments where children are free to explore and express themselves.

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What do you say? I've been dreading certain questions since my first child was born nine years ago, so I was happy to find some guidance for navigating those tricky conversations.

Mom, I'm Not A Kid Anymore (The Experiment, $14.95, 256 pages, ISBN 9781615190782) by Sue Sanders offers funny and useful advice on how to answer everything from “Do you believe in God?” to “You and Dad do that?”

Sanders has a teenage daughter, which I'd say is pretty much the only expertise required for someone writing this kind of book.

She takes on bullying, materialism and slang (which she calls “the lingua franca of adolescence”) with a firm, positive and loving approach.

She unflinchingly examines her own foibles in the service of making a larger point (like the time her daughter, then 4 years old, skipped down the city street shouting, “Mommy loves wine!”).

Sanders, who is based in Portland, Oregon, clearly loves parenting and has her eye on the end goal: raising a daughter who will become a productive and independent adult.

But not too quickly: “She will soon be pulling away, literally, down the driveway and seeing us and her childhood in the rear view mirror. I know that one day in the not too distant future, I'll give her the keys and let go. Or maybe not. Our city does have a fine public transportation system, after all.”

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Reap the rewards It's hard to beat advice from the director of the Yale Parenting Center. In The Everyday Parenting Toolkit (HMH $25; 208 pages, ISBN 9780547985541), Alan E. Kazdin starts with the premise that “you have to know what behaviors you would like, and when you want them.

That also gets you out of the habit of just noticing what you don't want, and unwittingly reinforcing it with your exasperated attention.”

Kazdin's method begins with the use of “antecedents,” a fancy word for anything that prompts a specific behavior. It could be verbal instructions, a note on the refrigerator door or the demonstration of a certain skill, such as using a fork.

When the antecedent brings about the behavior you want, give your child positive reinforcement.

Eventually, when the desired behavior appears regularly, you can fade out your use of the antecedent.

Lest you get the impression that Kazdin equates parenting with training a puppy, rest assured that he does not suggest using biscuits as rewards. He clearly relishes his work and is intrigued and excited by child and family dynamics, using real examples from his work with families at Yale to demonstrate his advice.

This toolkit is jam packed with solid advice any parent can use. Amy Scribner

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Families File Lawsuit Against School Shooter July 3, 2016 The Register

Hamilton Ohio --- Three students and their families are suing the family of the teenager who opened fire in a southwest Ohio school cafeteria.

The lawsuit alleges that negligence by James Austin Hancock’s family led to the February shooting at Madison Local Schools near Middletown in February.

Two students injured in the shooting are involved in the more than $350, 000 lawsuit filed last month.

The sister of one of the victims also claims she suffered emotional distress.

Readers' Forum: Series Points Out Need For Parenting October 1, 2014 The Blade

Compliments to The Blade for its (“A Grave Outcome”) series. It identified parental modeling and parents taking responsibility for directing behavior as primary contributors to the moral and ethical development of a child.

Although external circumstances are critical, too often such conditions as poverty, ineffective schools, and single parentage are given excessive weight as excuses for poor choices made by our youth.

To paraphrase Harry Truman, “the buck stops with the two people who conceived the child.” I hope the series will encourage more of them to take ownership of the life they produced. Paul Rothermich

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Readers’ Forum: Parents Must Be Held Responsible January 15, 2012 The Blade

If a person who causes a problem is under the age of 18, his or her parents should be arrested. If a youth is out after curfew, has a gun, uses that gun, and has injured or killed someone, the parents should go immediately to jail.

The youngster should go to the Juvenile Justice Center, without bail, until a trial date is set. What are Toledo Police Chief Derrick Diggs and Mayor Mike Bell waiting for? Arrest the parents. They are responsible for underage children and have to be held accountable. Toledo residents deserve to feel safe and to know that city officials are doing the job they were elected or appointed to do.

City officials should keep any more Toledo residents from becoming crime statistics, no matter how much money it takes. That includes assigning more police officers to the streets. William Schroeder

Readers’ Forum: Toledo: Look Abroad For Help January 15, 2012 The Blade

Toledo has sought foreign investment. I wonder whether city leaders have looked overseas as well for clues about how to battle the city’s crime rate. I spent many years living and working overseas. In the United Kingdom, major streets and problem areas are lined with cameras. A high percentage of criminals are arrested based on film footage.

In Japan, crime among young people is controlled at the school level. Students are required to wear uniforms unique to their school. When a crime is committed, the perpetrator is identified first by school uniform, then by approximate age.

Police and witnesses use school yearbooks to identify culprits. Consequences for the young criminals are severe, and include corporal punishment.

In Russia, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin helped turn around a lost generation by making it cool to become part of a government run youth organization based on the Young Pioneers of the communist era.

Popular and successful entertainers and businessmen were called on to sponsor events and summer camps to convince youth that civic organizations were hip. Amy Wexler

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Officials Respond To Mueller Park Junior High After A Student Fired A Gun Thursday, Dec. 1, 2016 (Ravell Call/The Desert News via AP)

Bountiful, Utah --- Police said two fast-acting Utah parents disarmed their 15-year-old son in the hallway of a Utah junior high school Thursday after the teenager brought the family's shotgun and handgun to school, discharging at least one round without injuring anyone.

Bountiful Police Chief Tom Ross said the boy's mother and father became concerned about their son Thursday morning. They went to Mueller Park Junior High in the northern Utah city of Bountiful when they noticed a handgun and shotgun were missing from their home.

Ross said the parents confronted their son in a school hallway and disarmed him.

Police were still trying to learn whether the student intentionally fired the gun or if the weapon went off accidentally while the parents intervened. Ross said he's “extremely grateful for the parents for their involvement and the fact that this ended without any loss of life.”

Police did not immediately release the student's identity. Ross would only say that the student was a 15-year-old white male.

Ross did not immediately have details about whether anyone else was around when the incident occurred but he says students were in classes nearby. Ross did not know whether a gun fired more than once or how the parents disarmed their son or their specific concerns about him.

Ross did not know why the student brought the weapons to the school or what he intended. Police had not been contacted before about the boy, Ross said.

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As the parents intervened, a teacher called 911 and a police officer who happened to be down the street arrived and took custody of the student soon after, police said.

Davis School District spokesman Chris Williams praised the parents, saying “It's all of our jobs to keep kids safe.”

Williams had no immediate information about the student or whether the student had any history of trouble or incidents at the school, but, “Whoever it is certainly faces a lot of trouble.”

Ross said the student was in custody Thursday morning, but he did not know if the student was still being questioned at the school or in another location. He did not know if the student had been arrested on suspicion of any specific charges.

Ross said the student's parents remained “with their son through the process.” The school, about 11 miles north of Salt Lake City, remained on lockdown as more than 100 officers went room-by-room through the building to ensure it was safe.

Police found a backpack in the hallway and wanted to ensure it did not contain any explosives, Ross said. It was unclear if the backpack belonged to the student. Ross said no other student appears to have been involved.

Several hundred parents arrived and waited in the snow across the street from the school for word from police and administrators about when they could pick up their children. They later packed into a church across the street to sign up to take their children home.

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School officials began allowing parents to take students home around 11 a.m. Candy Beckstead said she was at a dentist's office when her sister called to tell her that there was something going on at her son's school. She didn't hear from her 8th- grade son but rushed to the school.

“I freaked out and went into panic mode,” she said. “Screaming, crying.” The incident comes about two weeks after another Utah student stabbed five random high school classmates and himself before he was cornered by school workers, according to police.

The victims and the 16-year-old suspect survived the wounds. The teen has been charged with five counts of attempted murder in connection with the Nov. 15th rampage at a school in Orem, about 50 miles south of Mueller Park Junior High.

Police also arrested a teenager in late October after he shot an older boy twice in the head in a fight over a girl near another Utah middle school. Charges against the 14-year-old include attempted murder and weapons violations.

The Associated Press is not naming the boys because it does not normally name juvenile defendants. Lindsay Whitehurst in Salt Lake City contributed to this report.

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State By State: September 5, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Tim Wendel & Dennis Lyons

Mississippi, Jackson --- The City Council is considering imposing fines on parents when their children skip school in a bid to reduce crime and dropout rates, The Clarion Ledger reported.

Readers' Forum: It's Parents' Job To Ensure Attendance September 14, 2012 The Blade

As a parent and a 7th grade teacher at Byrnedale Elementary School, I am confused by the statement at the end of an otherwise unbiased article on Toledo Public Schools and its problem with truant students (“TPS Struggles With Issue Of Truant Students; Absences At Core Of Controversy About State Report Card Scores,” August 12th). The reporter wrote: “Maybe schools can find better ways to get kids to show up.”

I disagree. It's my job as a parent not only to make sure my child is prepared for school, but also to make sure he attends school on time.

It is the school's job to inform me if my child does not show up on time, or at all.

Suggesting that it is the school's responsibility to get kids to attend is as asinine as suggesting it's the pediatrician's responsibility to get patients to show up for yearly checkups. Ashlie Dempsey

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest Question: Whose responsibility is it to see that children attend school?

Answer: Parents of school age children, as well as foster parents and guardians, are required to see that their children attend school regularly.

Question: Can parents be held criminally responsible if their child doesn't attend school?

Answer: Yes, A parent or guardian who fails to send a child to school commits a misdemeanor, and a court may impose a fine or even a prison sentence in unusually blatant cases.

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Adolescents And Mental Health Fall 2014 Unison

According to the Substance Abuse And Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), one out of every eight U.S. children (13.1 percent) met the criteria for a mental health disorder in the past year and 11.3 percent of children aged 8 to 15 met the criteria for a severe mental impairment.

Adolescence is a critical time period for prevention and early intervention, counseling and service delivery.

Signs and behaviors to look for include, among others: Poor grades in school despite trying very hard

Frequent physical complaints

Marked changes in sleeping and eating habits

Extreme difficulties in concentrating that get in the way at school or at home

Sexual acting out

Severe mood swings

Strong worries or anxieties that get in the way of daily life, such as at school or socializing.

Repeated use of alcohol and/or drugs

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Internet Post December 1, 2016: Son, 28, stabs and dismembers his parents before dissolving them in acid over Thanksgiving when they tried to cut him off financially following decade-long college stint.'

Signs Of Mental Illness In Youth December 23, 2012 The Blade

Mood changes --- Look for feelings of sadness or withdrawal that last at least two weeks and for severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships at home or school.

Intense feelings --- Be aware of feelings of overwhelming feeling for no reason --- sometimes with a racing heart or fast breathing --- or worries or fears intense enough to interfere with daily activities.

Behavior changes --- This includes drastic changes in behavior or personality as well as dangerous or out of control behavior.

Fighting frequently, using weapons or expressing a desire to badly hurt others also are warning signs.

Difficulty concentrating --- Look for signs of trouble focusing or sitting still, both of which might lead to poor performance in school.

Unexplained weight loss --- A sudden loss of appetite, frequent vomiting, or use of laxatives might indicate an eating disorder.

Physical harm --- Sometimes a mental health condition leads to suicidal thoughts or attempts at self harm or suicide.

Substance abuse --- Some youths use drugs or alcohol to try to cope with their feelings. Source: The Mayo Clinic

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Mind Matters: Harm's Way Some kids embed objects under their skin. What's behind this disturbing behavior? August 2012 WebMD the Magazine

A 17 year old girl jammed six metal staples into the soft skin near her wrist.

A 15 year old girl pushed a length of pencil lead under the skin of her forearm.

One 18 year old inserted 35 objects over a period of two years, including staples, a comb tooth, a fork tine, a cotter pin, and nail polish wands.

The dangerous practice of pushing objects directly into the flesh or inserting them into cuts is called self embedding.

While it's not a new trend, it's often misdiagnosed, ignored, or under reported.

Why do people do this? Self embedding is a psychiatric disorder involving deliberate, non-suicidal self injury, or NSSI, says Peggy Andover, PhD an assistant professor in the psychology department at Fordham University and a clinical psychologist.

It's most common among teenagers, but new research shows children as young as 7 self injure. Andover has found a fairly even split between the genders.

While some researchers consider embedding and other forms of NSSI a symptom of borderline personality disorder, Andover says it happens in people with other disorders, as well as in people without another diagnosis.

Her research has discovered a troubling connection: Many people who report self injury also report suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts.

Researchers have not given much attention to self embedding, according to Andover, but psychologists have some theories about why people do it. It may be a coping strategy: a way to calm anger, anxiety, or stress. It may be a way to signal emotional distress, or it might be a behavior learned from others.

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Interview with Dr. Phil Quote: Mother of Columbine shooter: “It never occurred to me, to ask him what was going on inside his head.”

Bring On The Myth Busters Olivia Leverich; Licensed Psychologist January 2015 Toledo Parent

Myth: “Young people and children don't suffer from mental health problems”

This is a common misconception. It is also one that is easily maintained, likely for two reasons.

First of all, young children are often unable to verbalize or explain how they are feeling or what emotions they are experiencing because they just do not have the language skills to do so.

Secondly, school aged children with average language skills may be able to tell you what they are thinking or feeling, but may not realize that what they are experiencing is not typical or even that it means something is wrong.

Often children stay silent about what they are experiencing.

However, the alarming truth is that nearly 25% or 1 in 4 children, experience some form of mental health problem, ranging from Adjustment Disorders, anxiety, and behavioral problems, to Autism Spectrum Disorder, Major Depressive Episodes, and suicide attempts (Merikangas, Nakamura, and Kessler, Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 2009).

These are only just a few examples and each disorder or problem can range from mild to severe and impact the individual differently than it impacts others, often making these problems even more difficult to identify.

Fortunately, many effective treatments for children exist and seeking treatment early can lead to a higher quality of life. www.harbor.org

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Internet Post December 1, 2016 Book: A Bus To Nowhere By: Ann Rule

I would have liked to have known more on Silas Cool. Who knows what madness was raging in this man's mind before he did what he did to that bus and its' passengers. I find it very odd that his parents didn't see anything weird about him growing up. The things the authorities found in his home were very weird too.

All I Really Need To Know --- I Learned … From Stephen King’s The Shining: You Don’t Go Crazy Overnight

Yes, a couple mired in marital unbliss should find a way to regain their intimacy and spend more time together. Be that as it may, a six month stay locked inside a secluded, empty hotel for the winter is not the best solution.

Especially when the husband’s a wacko.

Jack was a dull and troubled boy long before he and his family checked into the haunted Overlook Hotel in The Shining. How could his wife not have noticed?

If movies have taught us anything, it’s that there are always tell tale signs that your loved one is losing it (think every other movie shown on the Lifetime Channel).

Since I do wonder just how Jack like my husband and I would end up being if we were confined to the middle of a snowy nowhere for six months, I have taken the saga yet simple lesson gleaned from The Shining seriously: Keep close tabs on your spouse, or you might wake up one day next to a maniacal stranger. Marti Resteghini

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My Father Was The BTK Killer December 2016 Reader’s Digest

He had murdered the Otero’s: a mom, a dad, and two children, ages 11 and 9. He had tortured victims, sexually defiled several.

He had taken Hedge’s body inside Christ Lutheran Church where he was congregation president. He posed her and took photos. Roy Wenzl (From the Wichita Eagle)

True Crime: Innocent Blood On Their Hands! November 28, 2016 Globe

A South Carolina man, who kidnapped a woman and chained her up in a metal storage container like a savage dog is now the prime suspect in seven murders, cops say. But tragically the brutal slayings could have been prevented if the murderous monster had been properly sentenced for a prior crime.

Kohlhepp’s reign of terror began years earlier. A judge remarked Kohlhepp was “preoccupied with sexual content” as early as the age 9!

During his violent youth, he killed a goldfish with bleach, shot a dog with a BB gun and smashed things in his room with a hammer. Kohlhepp was even kicked out of the Boy Scouts for being too twisted!

At age 15 he was convicted of kidnapping and sexually assaulting a 14 year old Arizona girl by tying her up, sticking tape over her mouth and forcing himself on her.

Shockingly, Kohlhepp was never charged for the assault --- as prosecutors allowed him to plea bargain to kidnapping and committing a dangerous crime against children.

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Man Who Killed 4 At Sign Business Fired Hours Earlier September 29, 2012 The Blade (Associated Press)

Minneapolis --- A man fired hours earlier from his job at a sign making business walked into the company’s loading dock and began shooting, killing the owner and three others before turning the gun on himself, police said Friday.

FBI Probes Beheading At Oklahoma Workplace September 27, 2014 The Blade

Oklahoma City --- A man fired from an Oklahoma food processing plant used a knife to behead a woman and was attacking another worker when he was shot and wounded by a company official, police said Friday.

Factory Employee Kills Co-Worker, Self Chrysler officials, police say 2 had ongoing disagreement September 21, 2012 The Blade (Associated Press)

Fired UPS Employee Kills 2 Bosses, Self September 24, 2014 The Blade

Birmingham, Ala --- A recently fired UPS employee on Tuesday shot dead two supervisors at the facility where he had worked before turning the gun on himself, police said. The gunman, identified as Joe Tesney, had been terminated earlier this month and had learned a day earlier that he had lost his appeal to get his job back, police said.

Mall Shooting Suspect Faces 5 First Degree Murder Charges September 27, 2016 The Blade

Mount Vernon, Washington --- A 20 year old man was charged Monday with five counts of first degree murder after confessing to a shooting rampage at a shopping mall over the weekend, prosecutors said. He shot all five victims in one minute and left the rifle with a 25 round magazine on a counter before fleeing, court documents said. The victims ranged in age from a teenage girl to a woman in her 90’s. Arcan Cetin’s stepfather, David Marshall, said afterward that his stepson “has mental health issues,” He did not elaborate.

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S. C. Mom Arrested In Death Of 4 Day Old Son August 24, 2016 The Blade

Chester, S.C. --- A South Carolina mother killed her 4 day old son by putting him in the refrigerator for three hours, authorities said. Angela Blackwell is charged with homicide by child abuse. Ms. Blackwell, 27, was arrested nearly six months after her son died.

Settlement Conference In Case Of Fairfield Mom Accused Of Killing Newborn Son

A settlement conference took place Thursday for a Fairfield woman accused of killing her newborn son.

21-year-old Kayla Stewart is charged with murder and manslaughter. The Attorney General’s Office won’t comment on what happened at the conference. But a spokesperson says another court date will be set and more information could be revealed then.

Prosecutors say Stewart gave birth to a healthy boy on New Year’s Eve. They say she either suffocated or smothered the baby or left it to die in the garage of her house.

A lawyer for Stewart says she had a miscarriage and panicked. She’s scheduled for trial without a jury in February. Stewart remains in the Somerset County Jail.

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Mom Who Decapitated Her Baby Faces Aggravated Murder Charge March 26, 2015 The Blade (Associated Press)

Cincinnati --- Deasia Watkins, 20, was diagnosed with postpartum psychosis, and doctors declared her unsafe around the baby unless she took prescribed medication, the documents say.

Social workers had placed the baby in the temporary care of the aunt, who authorities say was warned to keep Watkins away from the baby unless social workers were present.

Prosecutors said the county welfare agency followed court orders in finding a relative to care for the baby and checking on her numerous times.

But they said social workers didn’t know the mother apparently moved into the aunt’s home about a week before the slaying.

Watkins was arrested last week after her daughter was found decapitated on a kitchen counter in the Cincinnati home.

In a 911 call, the aunt can be heard crying hysterically and asking for help while repeating, “Oh, my God!” “My niece killed her baby,” she says.

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It’s Time To Address Our Students’ Mental Health Problems Robin B. Reaves Deputy Director of the Mental Health And Recovery Services Board of Seneca, Sandusky and Wyandot Counties September 26, 2016 The Press

It is that time of year again and we would like to focus our attention toward the parents and caregivers of our youths who are returning to school. If your children’s thoughts, feelings or behaviors were causing them to struggle, would you know how to talk to them about it?

What if you discovered they were engaging in activities that were potentially destructive or even harmful? If they came to you looking for help, would you know what to do?

Recent studies have found as many as one third to one half of adolescents in the U.S have engaged in some type of non-suicidal self injury.

Self injury often begins around the ages of 12-14, and it is most commonly the result of feelings of sadness, distress, anxiety, or confusion. Many often use self injury as a way to cope with these negative emotions.

Some may find themselves with a constant preoccupation with a perceived defect or flaw in his/her physical appearance, which may not be observable to others, or appears only slight.

Some may focus on the numbers on the scale, and develop unhealthy eating habits that can put both mind and body at risk. Others may engaged in body focused repetitive behaviors like hair pulling or skin picking, which are related to obsessive compulsive disorder and cause shame and isolation.

If you think your son or daughter is dealing with low self esteem or poor body image, is feeling depressed or is engaging in risky behaviors like disordered eating, self injury or body focused repetitive behaviors, there is hope and there is help.

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How To Help New High School Grads Transition Into Adulthood July 10, 2013 The Sojourner's Truth Educational

Transitioning from high school to the next life stage can be a time of excitement for young people, but it can also be a time filled with uncertainty.

Whether one is off to college, entering the workforce, or starting another big adventure, he or she may need extra emotional support at first. Experts say that parents and care givers can play a big role in ensuring the transition is a success.

“Whenever your child is going through a major life change, it's important to consider his or her mental health and general well being,” says Dr. Thomas K. McInerny, president of the American Academy Of Pediatrics (AAP).

With that in mind, the (AAP) is offering the following tips for parents and youth navigating this important time of life: If your child is going to college, make sure he or she is familiar with the health and mental health support services on campus.

If your child has a mental health diagnosis, such as ADHD or depression, be sure to ask the college staff what kind of medical information they will need related to your child and how to set up prescription refills if needed.

Talk to the college about special housing and academic accommodations, if necessary.

Contact your child's pediatrician, who can be a good source of advice. In addition to ensuring your graduate has had all the vaccines and other preventive health care recommended for this stage of life, your pediatrician can also help you prepare the way for your young adult's continuing mental and emotional health.

Once your child is settled into his or her new routine, keep in close contact and try to get frequent readings about how he or she is doing academically and socially. While you can't stand sentinel outside the dorm room, you can remain supportive from a distance.

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Is your child entering the workforce? Even if he or she is remaining at home for a time, life will still change dramatically. Be sure to give your son or daughter extra space as a young adult, but offer help navigating new responsibilities, such as paying bills and managing health care responsibilities.

Once a teen graduates and leaves home, alcohol, drugs and sexual activity may become much more accessible. Making poor choices can have life changing results. Continue to have conversations about peer pressure, good decisions and consequences.

As always, stay connected and be attuned to the warning signs of depression and other mental health issues.

Look for “RED FLAG's” such as excessive sleeping, excessive moodiness, excessive body image concerns and personality shifts.

When it's time to “graduate” to an adult doctor, your pediatrician can arrange for the transition to care by an adult health care provider. Parenthood doesn't end when your child turns 18. By offering emotional support, you can make the transition from high school to the next life stage a smooth one. www.healthychildren.org

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Mental Health America (MHA) has developed tools and resources to inform both students and parents about why mental health matters, and how self esteem, self image and the disorders that affect the way young people see and treat themselves can affect a student’s overall health.

Visit http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/back-school to learn more.

There are also things as parents and caregivers you should try to avoid. Parents and caregivers often feel comfortable question or criticizing a young person’s choices --- and generally do so with the best of intentions.

Sometimes though, the way the words come out ends up doing more harm than good. When it comes to self esteem and body image, it is important to remember that words matter.

Try not to criticize or point out flaws, but rather encourage your child to talk to you about his/her feelings about their body or self image. Know that issues of low self esteem, self injury, and body focused repetitive behaviors, and distorted body image are treatable and should be addressed as soon as possible. Just like physical illnesses, treating mental health problems early can help to prevent more serious problems from developing in the future.

If you are concerned that you or someone you know may be experiencing a mental health problem, it is important to take action and to address the symptoms early.

Start the conversation. Your child will be glad you did. There are also serious signs that someone is in crisis and needs more immediate help. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 1-800-826-1306.

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Police Blotter: Perkins Police 12: 43 p.m. 2200 block Westward Drive Friday June 3

Woman and juvenile daughter argued after daughter told her she felt like she wanted to hurt herself.

Mother said she could only go to the detention home or back to Kentucky to live with her father. Perkins Fire Department delivered daughter to Firelands Regional Medical Center.

Your Child’s Emotional Health How to spot when kids may be struggling --- and what you can do October 2008 Woman’s Day

Any parent will tell you she’d do anything to make her sick child feel better --- fast. But that can be especially difficult when the problem is a mental health issue.

And the mental illnesses affecting 1 in 10 children in the U.S. today, it’s a reality that millions of parents are grappling with.

Diagnosing and treating mental illness in kids can certainly be a stressful process; an important step is finding a good clinical child psychologist and/or psychiatrist who can diagnose and give your child talk and behavioral therapy.

Find a psychiatrist at the American Academy Of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry www.aacap.org.

Start with a physical If you suspect your child is having emotional or behavioral issues, first schedule a complete physical exam to rule out any medical problems.

For example, a child with frequent ear infections can have temporary hearing loss, and that can make him become inattentive and hyper.

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Police Blotter: Perkins Police Boy, 15, 1000 block Brandon Blvd. unruly juvenile. 9: 21 a.m. 3700 block Campbell Street Thursday April 25

Boy caught sleeping in class refused to go to school suspension room; staff called parent. Parent said he had similar problems at home.

Mental Illnesses: Shooting Thrusts Disorder Into Light December 23, 2012 The Blade

His outbursts frightened teachers and classmates, but his parents said he was just being a teenager.

Her crying fits and awkward sleeping habits worry her friends, but her mom says she's just emotional and lazy.

“There's nothing wrong with my kid,” mental health professionals hear it every day --- the sentiments of parents in denial about their child's mental illness.

The reality, however, is that the line between teenage growing pains and unusual behavior is murky, experts say.

One in 10 American children suffer from mental illness, often characterized by declining grades, conflicts with family and peers, spending too much time alone, and changes in level of functioning.

More common in adults, mental illness affects one in four people ages 18 and older.

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Straight ‘A’ Religiously Devout Boy, 14, Shot Dead His Mother And 8 Year Old Brother And Then Tried To Blame His Army Veteran Father For The Murders’

Jacob Remaley, 14, charged as an adult with two counts each of criminal homicide and third-degree murder. Remaley has allegedly confessed to shooting dead his mother, Dana Remaley, 46, and brother, Caleb Remaley, 8, in their sleep.

The teen allegedly said had his Iraq War veteran father, David, been at home, he would have killed him too. Court documents state after gunning down his family; Jacob called 911 and said his father shot his mother and brother.

He met paramedics in the front yard wearing a T-shirt and boxer briefs, and repeating the word, 'Mom'. Police say Jacob and his parents were not getting along well lately. A family friend described Jacob as a straight-A student and a 'good kid' who was devout and involved in sports.

Jacob's step-grandmother said months earlier, he told her he was bothered his mother was 'mad at God' for the death of her own mother. Snejana Farberov Dailymail.com

Teen Woes December 2016 WebMD the Magazine

Warning: Nearly 1 in 4 teenagers who visited an emergency room for any reason from 2013 to 2014 reported symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, says a survey of 350 teens.

More than 1 in 10 had symptoms of depression. About that same number had contemplated suicide.

Half the kids surveyed reported bring victims or perpetrators of cyber bullying. Half also reported instigating or enduring physical violence with their peers.

More than half said they saw violence in their communities. Untreated, PTSD can lead to health problems, depression and suicide. Source: General Hospital Psychiatry

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Viewpoint February 5, 2016 The Register

Thumbs up to the Mental Health And Recovery Board Of Erie And Ottawa Counties and to Bayshore Counseling Services for receiving a state grant of about $270, 000 to provide mental health services to young children. The Ohio Department Of Mental Health And Addiction Services awarded the grant.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 11: 38 a.m. 1300 block Tiffin Avenue Sunday June 12

Boy, 14, tried to hang himself with shirt off basketball rafters inside Erie County Detention Home. Officials talked him down.

Teen Pregnancy Much More Likely For Girls Who Have A Mental Illness bp Magazine Spring 2014

February 10, 2014 Toronto, ON --- Adolescent girls with mental illnesses are three times more likely to become teenage mothers than those without major mental illnesses, a new study has found.

Canadian researchers said their findings highlight the importance of considering major mental illness when developing pregnancy prevention programs, along with greater integration of reproductive health care into adolescent mental health care programs.

The study, which appeared in the journal Pediatrics online ahead of print, was entitled “Fertility Rate Trends Among Adolescent Girls With Major Mental Illness: A Population Based Study.

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Gunman’s Rampage Kills 20 Grade Schoolers Assailant kills mother, takes own life at Connecticut scene December 15, 2012 The Blade

“The only clue we have is that his mother once said to a babysitter never turn your back on him.” Kelly J. Kaczala

WebMD: DYK? ½ of all mental health disorders show first signs before a person turns 14 years old, and three quarters of mental health disorders begin before age 24.

Over 50% of students with a mental disorder --- age 14 and older drop out of high school. The highest dropout rate of any disability group.

Less than 20% of children and adolescent with diagnosable mental health problems receive the treatment they need. Early mental health treatment can help a child before problems interfere with other developmental needs. Source: Unison

Mental Illness By one estimation, one in four Americans has a mental illness such as depression or post traumatic stress disorder.

That's more people than those living with high cholesterol or who break an arm each year. But as common as mental illness is, there's still a stigma surrounding it. People don't like to talk about it for fear of being judged. The first full week of October is Mental Health Awareness Week, aimed at putting an end to stigma and advocating for treatment and recovery.

While millions of Americans struggle with mental health problems, those who need help are too often afraid to seek it or see it as a weakness --- not the sign of strength that it is. I recently joined a conference at the White House aimed at starting a national conversation about mental health.

Speakers included actor Glenn Close, who co-founded a non-profit organization to confront the stigma and discrimination associated with mental health disorders.

Kristy Hammam Editor In Chief [email protected]

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 1: 45 p.m. 900 block Ontario Street Monday April 26

Boy acted unruly in class; staff said it was ongoing problem

Shooter Had Violent Past In School June 18, 2016 The Blade

Fort Pierce, Fla. --- As early as third grade, the Florida nightclub shooter talked frequently about sex and violence and before finishing high school was suspended for a total of 48 days, including for fighting and hurting classmates, school records showed.

Mateen, whose attack on the Pulse nightclub left 49 people dead and 53 wounded, enrolled in Florida public school after his parents moved in 1991 from New York City to Port Saint Lucie, on Florida’s Atlantic coast.

Teachers “couldn’t seem to help him,” said Dan Alley, retired dean of Martin County High School. “We tried to counsel him and show him the error of his ways, but it never had the effect that we were hoping for.”

At least some of his suspensions were for fighting that involved injuries. For elementary and early middle school, Mateen attended class in neighboring St. Lucie County, where teachers said he was disruptive and struggled academically.

A third grade teacher wrote that he was “very active --- constantly moving, verbally abusive, rude, aggressive.” The teacher described “much talk about violence and sex,” with Mateen’s “hands all over the place --- on other children, in his mouth.”

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 5: 13 p.m. 100 block West Sprucewood Drive Friday May 1

Complaint of children, ages 5 and 6, being unruly. Mother said her children won’t listen to house rules, cursed at her and act out.

Police Blotter: Perkins Police 3: 26 p.m. 300 block Douglas Drive Monday May 9

Boy, 7, had apparent change in mental status at school, took off clothes, and didn’t listen to officials. Parents notified.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 2: 51 p.m. 1000 block Shelby Street Tuesday May 17

Unruly 8 year old

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Boy, 9, 100 block East Jefferson Street unruly juvenile 6: 28 p.m. 200 block Meigs Street

Boy screamed at mother, refused to do homework, ate snacks when told to wait for dinner.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 7: 44 p.m. 900 block Stone Street Sunday June 7

Boy talked back, slammed doors, was disrespectful to grandmother.

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New Charges Weighed In Soccer Referee Death Youth, 17, in Utah could be tried as an adult May 7, 2013 The Blade

Salt Lake City --- Authorities say the 17 year old boy struck Ricardo Portillo, 46, in the head last month during a recreational league match after the referee called a penalty against him. Hours later, the referee went into a coma. He never regained consciousness and died Saturday.

Johana Portillo said he doesn't care what punishment the teenage gets --- saying nothing will bring her father back. “When he did that, he took a part of me with him,” she said crying. “He took my daddy away from me.”

She added: “I feel sorry for him. I feel for his family. But if he was old enough to do what he did, then he's responsible to pay for it.”

Relative Suffers Broken Bones From Teen’s Assault July 10, 2016 The Register

Margaretta Township --- A Margaretta Township teen was arrested for allegedly pushing his relative down, causing the man to suffer multiple broken bones.

The 14 year old boy was charged with domestic violence and felonious assault. Erie County deputies were called to the home at about 2: 30 p.m. after his aunt reported the teen injured her husband 62.

The man’s wife said her nephew got upset while he was playing with another boy at the home. When she told the teen to keep his hands to himself, he became upset and allegedly called her profanities.

As the argument escalated, the woman asked her husband to intervene. He tried to smack the teen “for behaving in such a disrespectful manner, (but the teen) stood up and shoved (the man), causing him to fall into a heater and staircase,” the report stated.

Deputies said the boy could offer no explanation for his actions. He was arrested and taken to the Erie County Detention Home. Courtney Astolfi

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Wanted ‘Affluenza’ Teen Nabbed In Mexico, Will Return To Houston December 30, 2015 USA Today

The case gained worldwide notoriety when Couch’s lawyers claimed that their client suffered from “affluenza” after his well to do parents shielded him from the consequences of his actions.

In June 2013, Ethan Couch, then living in the Fort Worth suburb of Burleson, was driving drunk when he crashed into a disabled SUV off to the side, killing four people and injuring several others.

He was 16 at the time, so he wasn’t certified as an adult for trial and a judge sentenced him in juvenile court to 10 years’ probation and a stint in a rehabilitation center.

Tarrant County Sheriff Dee Anderson said he believes the two fled in late November after a video surfaced that appears to show Ethan Couch at a party that included alcohol.

Drinking is a violation of the teen’s probation, which if revoked could result in his being sentenced to up to 10 years in prison.

Jim Douglas, Lauren Zakalik & Todd Unger WFAA-TV Dallas-Fort Worth

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Toledo's Bad Boys December 15, 2012 The Blade

Fans assert that such shows are important because they remind us that police officers put themselves in danger every day to protect law abiding citizens.

In a world in which crime often appears to go unpunished, the bad guys in these TV shows get what they deserve --- which can include beat downs, Tasings, and being bitten by police dogs.

Viewpoint: Criminals Are Destined To Be Arrested March 17, 2016 The Register

Success in any career takes a determined mind, a survival instinct, specialized training and a willing attitude. Even with these attributes, some are destined to fail. They just are not up to the tasks of their chosen job. If you don’t have what it takes, find something else to do.

Jail rosters are full of people who just didn’t have the moxie to be career criminals, or even hobby criminals. A few cases in our area within the last few weeks can be cited as proof of the last statement.

Take, for instance, the Milan man who approached a Perkins Township jewelry store in search of a flashy gold chain. He engaged a salesperson, filled out a credit card application, chose an $850 necklace, tried it on and asked the salesperson to check that the clasp was properly engaged. And then he ran from the store.

Let’s just look at the sequence of events to see where he went wrong. Easy, huh? The fact that he had left behind his name and address on the credit application didn’t occur to him . Clearly not suited for a life of crime.

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Then there were the three guys who thought it would be a good idea to have a few stiff drinks and climb the cell phone tower in Perkins Cemetery.

No big deal --- boys will be boys, right?

Except these “boys” are 29, 29 and 31 years old. Turns out it was a big deal after all. The “boys” were charged with criminal trespassing and disorderly conduct.

One of them was charged with improperly handling a firearm because he had a loaded gun in his car.

Another was charged with having marijuana, hashish and a pipe for smoking them. Another group of winning adventurers somehow forgot to engage their common sense.

No list would be complete without the Milan man, not the same one as the necklace guy, who just wanted to do a little target shooting in a Huron Avery Road backyard. His buddy had a .223 caliber rifle, which is legal to possess, and a bit of Tannerite, which is also legal to possess.

What happens when a projectile from the rifle meets the sensitized ammonium nitrate (Tannerite?) Let’s just say the BOOM was heard for miles.

The marksmen now face felony charges for that little incident. They apologized and said they didn’t know what they were doing was illegal.

What is that saying about bliss? We have no intention of making light of these crimes; neither are we making fun of others’ departure from common sense.

In fact, we want to thank the chosen few who help make the rest of us look good.

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Aaron Hernandez ‘Victim’ Speaking Out

A onetime friend of Aaron Hernandez who claims the former NFL star shot him in the face in Florida filed a lawsuit Monday against CNN, alleging the network invaded his privacy when it aired images of him recovering from the gunshot wound in a West Palm Beach hospital.

Lawyers for Alexander Bradley filed the lawsuit in federal court in Connecticut.

The 12-page civil filing alleges that CNN obtained images of Bradley lying unconscious in his hospital bed at St. Mary’s Medical Center, where he was being treated after the February 2013 shooting.

The network obtained the images without Bradley’s consent and aired them, also without his permission, in a CNN documentary last year entitled “Downward Spiral: Inside the Case Against Aaron Hernandez,” the civil filing says.

Representatives for CNN could not be reached for comment late Wednesday.

“Because St. Mary’s disclosed the photographs of (Bradley’s)medical condition to CNN ... or improperly provided access to CNN, CNN was prohibited from further disclosing or publishing (the images) “without the expressed written consent” of Bradley, the filing says.

His lawyers said airing the photos of Bradley, “seemingly unconscious, bloodied, bandaged and intubated, was and would be considered highly offensive to a reasonable person of ordinary sensibilities.”

The attorneys said Bradley has suffered damages and emotional distress, including “anger, confusion, frustration, shock, sleeplessness, depression, stress, and anxiety about CNN’s accessing his private hospital room while he was unconscious, bloodied and intubated.”

He is seeking compensation in excess of $100,000, according to the filing.

The hospital is not named as a defendant in the lawsuit and could not be reached for comment on Wednesday night.

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Bradley alleges that Hernandez, a former New England Patriots tight end, shot him in the early morning hours of Feb. 13th, 2013 in Riviera Beach, Fla. after they left a local night club.

Hernandez was convicted last year of first-degree murder in the June 2013 fatal shooting of Odin Lloyd, of Dorchester, in a North Attleborough industrial park.

Hernandez is serving a life sentence in that case, but an automatic appeal will be heard before the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court.

Next year, Hernandez is scheduled to stand trial in Suffolk Superior Court for allegedly killing Daniel de Abreu, 29, and Safiro Furtado, 28, during a drive-by shooting in Boston’s South End in July 2012.

Authorities say Bradley was a passenger in Hernandez’s vehicle when he committed the murders, and Bradley is expected to testify for prosecutors during the upcoming trial.

Hernandez is also charged with witness intimidation in the case, for allegedly shooting Bradley in the Florida incident in an effort to silence him.

Hernandez has pleaded not guilty to all charges.

Bradley had also sued Hernandez in Florida for the alleged attack in Riviera Beach, and the civil case was settled in March. Terms were not disclosed.

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Tattoo Good To Be True! Cops solve 4 year old murder AFTER SPOTTING CRIME SCENE INKED ON GANGBANGER’S CHEST May 2011 The ENQUIRER

The murderer’s guilt was written all over him! In one of the most bizarre pieces of detective work ever, Los Angeles cops solved a 4 year old homicide --- when a sharp eyed officer spotted an image of the crime scene tattooed on a gangbanger’s chest!

L.A. County sheriff’s homicide investigator Kevin Lloyd was flipping through snapshots of tattooed gang members when the image caught his eye, and triggered his memory of a 2004 liquor store slaying that he’d worked.

The tattoo contained key details of the crime --- the Christmas lights lining the roof of the liquor store where 23 year old John Juarez was gunned down, the direction of how his body fell and a nearby street lamp.

The scene was laid out under the blood chilling banner “Rivera Kills” --- a reference to the notorious gang Rivera 13. Looming over the entire scene was a helicopter spitting bullets.

Cops later learned the copter represented the murderer’s gang nickname “Chopper,” and in gang slang, the word “peanut” is used to describe a rival gang member.

The tattoo was inked on the chest of Anthony Garcia. It was photographed after Garcia was arrested during a routine traffic stop in 2008 and booked on suspicion of driving with a suspended license.

After officer Lloyd spotted the tat, a major investigation was launched. Garcia, now 25, was tracked down, arrested and eventually confessed to the killing. He’s since been convicted of first degree murder for a killing that cops had virtually given up on solving. Garcia has not yet been sentenced.

One cop believes the case was bound to be cracked. “Think about it,” said Captain Mike Parker. “He tattooed his confession on his chest. You have a degree of fate with this.”

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Man Convicted Of 2012 Shooting Indicted In Rape June 22, 2016 The Blade

A Toledo man who just spent three years in prison for his part in the 2012 shooting of two toddlers at a Moody Manor apartment was indicted Tuesday on multiple felonies stemming from an alleged sexual assault.

The victim reported to police that she was sexually assaulted at gunpoint.

James T. Moore, 24, as part of a plea agreement that required him to testify against two co-defendants, Moore pleaded guilty in 2013 to involuntary manslaughter and was sentenced to three years in prison for the fatal shooting of 1 year old Keondra Hooks. Her sister, 2 year old Leondra Hooks, was wounded in the attack.

Moore said he drove the getaway car for fellow Manor Boyz gang members. Both men were convicted at trial of aggravated murder and other charges and sentenced to life in prison with parole eligibility after 40 years.

State By State: September 13, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Tim Wendel & Dennis Lyons

Nebraska, Omaha --- A federal judge dismissed a lawsuit against the city of Bayard and its police chief filed by the wife of a man who died after being arrested. The widow of Daniel Driscoll, 31, said she told Police Chief Zakary Douglass that Driscoll was scared of being handcuffed. An autopsy showed Driscoll died of a heart attack after being arrested on suspicion of disturbing the peace.

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Fugitive Chews Off Fingertips To Avoid Identification February 27, 2016 The Blade

Tallmadge --- Police say a fugitive from Tampa, Fla., chewed off his fingertips in an attempt to avoid being identified by fingerprints during a traffic stop in northeast Ohio. Kirk Kelly, 24, was jailed on felony counts of evidence tampering and obstructing official business and misdemeanor charges of falsification and resisting arrest. A message was left for his listed attorney after business hours Friday.

Police said Kelly gave false names as they tried to identify him. They figured out who he was after photos of his tattoos were provided by police in Florida, where he’s wanted on firearms and drug charges.

Spotlight: No Escaping The Cold January 20, 2014 Time

An inmate who escaped from a Kentucky prison wearing only a thin jacket and khaki pants turned himself in on January 6th rather than brave the frigid temperatures.

Florida Investigation: 7 Prisoners Used Forged Papers In Bid To Escape October 23, 2013 The Blade (Associated Press)

Tallahassee --- At least seven inmates in Florida have used forged documents in attempts to escape from prison, including two killers who were mistakenly freed because of the paperwork, authorities said Tuesday.

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2 Plead Guilty In Brutal Assault August 23, 2016 The Blade

Two Toledo men entered guilty pleas Monday in Lucas County Common Pleas Court for their roles in the brutal assault on a 17 year old boy who they mistakenly believed had raped a woman they knew.

They face up to eight years in prison when they are sentenced September 26th by Judge Dean Mandros.

In May, Tyrus Thompson was sentenced to seven years in prison for felonious assault stemming from the same December 9th, 2014 attack on a young man who was dragged into a vacant house, stripped, beaten with board and fists, and sodomized.

Toledo Inmate Indicted In Prison Attack, Murder June 20, 2013 The Blade

Three months after an inmate at Toledo Correctional Institution was strangled and another inmate attacked with boiling water, a convicted murderer was indicted by a Lucas County grand jury for both incidents.

Lynch is serving 20 years to life for killing JoLynn Mishne, 17, at her Medina County home in 2002.

Miss Mishne was bludgeoned and stabbed to death in her bed. According to court documents and news reports, she had persuaded her father to allow Lynch, at the time a 15 year old runaway, to stay at their house. She was killed a week later. Jennifer Feehan

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State By State: August 16, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Tim Wendel & Dennis Lyons

Wisconsin, Waukesha --- A man who's been institutionalized since killing two police officers as a teenager in 1975 could be a free man next month. Alan Randall won tentative release in April after mental health experts testified that he hasn't suffered from mental illness since 1989.

State By State: September 5, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Tim Wendel & Dennis Lyons

Washington, Tacoma --- A Pierce County sheriff's spokesman said a 19 year old man who reportedly waved a chain saw at his father's girlfriend and made threats about cutting people was shot and killed. Sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer said the woman's 27 year old son is believed to have fired the shot.

State By State: September 4, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Tim Wendel & Dennis Lyons

Iowa, Logan --- A western Iowa teenager has been charged with first degree murder in the death of a 5 year old boy. Cody Metzker-Madsen, 17, of Harrison County and the boy lived together in a foster home. The identity of the boy and his cause of death have not been released.

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South Toledo Teen Held Following Arraignment May 7, 2013 The Blade

A Toledo teen accused of shooting into a South Toledo home Friday and slashing a police officer the next evening remained in the Lucas County jail Monday night.

Deleno Stine, 18, was ordered held in lieu of $750, 000 bond on charges of improperly discharging a firearm into a habitation and two counts of felonious assault.

He was arraigned Monday in Toledo Municipal Court, with his next court date next Monday. Mr. Stine is accused of shooting into a residence on Friday night.

A woman told police a bullet grazed her left arm.

Saturday night, Toledo police Detective Deb Hahn was leaving an off duty project in uniform when she was stopped by a woman who said a man had assaulted her.

As she and the woman spoke, the suspect allegedly ran up and attacked the woman again.

The detective stepped in and wrestled the suspect to the ground, at which point the man got on top of her and cut her face with a knife, police said.

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Book: Prepared For A Purpose By: Antoinette Tuff February 2014 PEOPLE

A memoir from the Atlanta woman who talked down a would be school shooter, co-written by former PEOPLE writer Alex Tresniowski

Details Emerge Of Shooting Witness says suspected gunman looked as if he ‘was willing to kill’ August 22, 2013 USA Today

Timothy Hill, 22, the brother of Michael Hill, told ABC News that the suspect has “long history of medical disorders” including bipolar disorder.

He said Michael Hill was taking drugs for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder as early as age 6. William M. Welch & John Bacon

Police Blotter: Perkins Police 5: 06 p.m. 200 block Doerzbach Avenue Saturday June 22

Man knocked mother’s plate of tacos on the floor when she asked him to cover the food up.

State By State: September 5, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Tim Wendel & Dennis Lyons

Pennsylvania, Allentown --- A man accused of leading police in two states on a wild chase involving stolen police cars has pleaded guilty to a burglary charge in an unrelated eastern Pennsylvania case. Blake Bills, 25, entered the plea Tuesday in the August 2012 Macungie break in, The (Easton) Express Times reported.

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Sandusky Diary June 15, 2016 The Register

25 years ago, 1991: A college student with a history of mental illness barricaded himself in a Capitol office in Tallahassee, Fla., for five hours, demanding liquor, marijuana and 666 jelly doughnuts.

He surrendered without incident, telling police he was concerned about homelessness and poverty and had consumed LSD and hallucinogenic mushrooms.

Castile Ruled Not Guilty March 26, 2015 The Register

Sandusky --- The Sandusky man who fatally stabbed his 11 week old cousin almost two years ago was found not guilty by reason of insanity Wednesday in an Erie County courtroom.

Denzel Castile, 21, will remain in a secured treatment facility indefinitely, though a judge will continue to regularly review his condition over the coming years.

In May 2013 Sandusky police were called to a Dewey Street home after Castile began to scuffle with relatives there.

In the chaos, Castile was able to wrestle away his cousin’s 11 week old daughter, Athena Castile, and stabbed the infant multiple times, resulting in her death.

Family members later told police Castile had not been himself since returning home from his first year of college.

At Castile’s Wednesday morning hearing before Erie County Common Pleas Court Judge Tygh Tone, one of those doctors --- Dr. Lucia Hinojosa --- told the court about Castile’s ongoing mental health issues.

“He suffers from a profound mental condition that’s --- probably going to deteriorate as he progresses through life,” Erie County prosecutor Kevin Baxter said. Courtney Astolfi

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BGSU Student Held In Shooting Threat August 31, 2011 The Blade

Bowling Green --- A freshman at Bowling Green State University was arrested on campus yesterday, accused of making threats to shoot people, university authorities said. Branden Markevich, 18, of northeast Ohio’s Rittman was charged with aggravated menacing and was booked into the Wood County jail pending arraignment today in Bowling Green Municipal Court, according to jail records.

Man Charged In Crash Competent For Trial February 28, 2015 The Register

Toledo --- A man accused of driving more than 125 mph and causing a crash that killed two people on the Ohio Turnpike is now competent to stand trial, a judge has ruled. Andrew Gans pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to vehicular homicide charges. He has a history of mental health issues and has been hospitalized for psychiatric care before, his attorney says.

Troopers said Gans, who was not seriously injured in the crash, told them that he had been drinking and took prescription drugs, but authorities later said blood tests showed he did not have either in his system.

Witness Says Motorist Celebrated After Crash Driver on trial in CSX worker's death January 29, 2014 The Blade

Bowling Green --- One after another, co-workers of a CSX Transportation employee who was struck and killed by a speeding motorist testified Tuesday that the alleged driver emerged from his car with his hands raised in victory, “celebrating” as they saw it.

“He was hootin' and hollerin' saying this was great,” James Parsons of Johnson City, Tenn, told the jury. “I'm not exactly sure of the wording, but it was like he scored a touchdown.” Jennifer Feehan

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Today In History: June 13th

In 1981, a scare occurred during a parade in London when a teenager fired six blank shots at Queen Elizabeth 11.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Boy, 16, 500 block McDonough Street aggravated menacing, trespassing charges pending. 2: 28 p.m. 2100 block Hayes Avenue Thursday May 12

Boy caused disturbance at school, then threatened to blow it up.

What A Difference A Gun Makes April 25, 2012 The Toledo Journal

In February 2012, a 17 year old high school senior, who other students described as an outcast who’d been bullied, shot and killed three fellow students and injured two more at Chardon High School in suburban Cleveland, Ohio, Would this have happened without a gun? Marian Wright Edelman NNPA Columnist

Dear Abby: I’m a student in eighth grade. In September we had a shooting at the high school in my district. Honestly, I have no clue what to think. My dad always said that being in South Dakota; we are safer from the craziness that happens in more populated areas. We have little to no bad/dangerous kids in our district, so I still can’t wrap my mind around it. It feels surreal.

I’ll be in high school next year, and I don’t know how I’m going to cope with the idea that it could happen again. Scared In South Dakota

Dear Scared: The student who acted out so violently may have suffered from a severe mental illness that wasn’t properly treated, or may have been angry because he was bullied, excluded or felt discriminated against. While no one is 100 percent safe from violence these days, the chances of it happening to you are less if you treat others with the same respect and kindness with which you would like to be treated.

If these concerns are preoccupying you, it’s important that you continue to discuss them with your parents so they can give you the assurance you need. www.dearabby.com

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Laughs And Giggles Pathway Christian News

Son: I can’t go to school today. Father: Why not?

Son: I don’t feel well Father: Where don’t you feel well? Son: In school!

4 Hurt As Student Opens Fire In Cafeteria March 1, 2016 The Register

Hamilton, Ohio --- A 14 year old boy pulled out a gun in a school cafeteria Monday and opened fire, hitting two students, and then ran from the school, threw the weapon down and was apprehended nearby with the help of a police dog, authorities said.

WebMD: DYK? In 13 of 15 U.S. school shooting incidents between 1995 and 2001, the shooters had been ostracized at school. Source: WebMD

Sentencing Set For School Shooter June 6, 2016 The Register (Associated Press)

An Ohio juvenile court judge is set to sentence a 15 year old boy who pleaded guilty to charges after police say he opened fire on fellow students in a school cafeteria. Two students were wounded and two others were hurt in the shootings.

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2 Students Injured During School Shootings In Ky., N.C. Both were isolated incidents, officials say; suspects in custody October 1, 2014 The Blade (Associated Press)

Louisville --- Two students were injured Tuesday in shootings at high schools in Kentucky and North Carolina. Dajon Rhodes, a 17 year old junior at the school, was on the third floor when she heard shots fired. “I just heard a loud pow-pow and I took off running,” young Rhodes said. The Rhodes youth, who said she has a class with the student who was shot, said she ran from the room away from the sound.

Study: Mentally Ill Inmates Stay Longer In Ohio Jail May 18, 2015 The Register (Associated Press)

Columbus --- Mentally ill inmates at central Ohio’s biggest jail stay longer, return more frequently and often aren’t connected with the treatment they need after they leave, according to a new report. The Council Of State Governments Justice Center provided the report to county commissioners following a yearlong look at the mentally ill in the Franklin County jail

The council used data from the sheriff’s office and the local mental health board to determine 7 percent of people booked into the jail had been treated for a serious mental illness, the Columbus Dispatch reported.

About 60 percent of Franklin County jail inmates with a serious mental illness returned to the jail within three years, compared with 51 percent of those who are not mentally ill, according to the council’s report.

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The mentally ill stay in jail an average of 32 days, compared with 20 days for other inmates, the report said. Treatment of the mentally ill extends into prisons, where one in five Ohio inmates has been diagnosed with a mental illness, the newspaper said.

The report recommends reducing the population by taking the mentally ill to treatment facilities instead of jail, not sending them to jail to await trial, and providing more intensive treatment in jail and afterward.

The report also recommends more training to help police officers and sheriff’s deputies identify mental illness and recommend area resources. It calls for expanding intervention programs and providing more information to judges who decide whether a person should be jailed or released while awaiting trial. The sheriff’s office also needs to screen for mental illness at booking, the report said.

The county could save $5 million to $12 million a year by reducing the number of people in jail with mental illness by 40 percent, said Michael Daniels, policy director for Franklin County commissioner Marilyn Brown.

The Franklin County Municipal Court’s mental health docket has 40 to 50 people in its program at a given time with room to grow, said Judge David Tyack. It reaches just a few of the 1, 900 people who are in the jail at any time.

The sheriff’s office already has starting making some changes, said Chief Deputy Geoff Stobart. It is negotiating for software that would allow deputies to alert local service agencies when their clients are in the jail, and a new jail will include additional mental health cells.

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State By State: August 22, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Tim Wendel & Dennis Lyons

Missouri, Kirksville --- A judge said a man accused of stabbing and dismembering an elderly neighbor is not competent to stand trial. Adair County Prosecuting Attorney Matt Wilson said the judge found Paul Potter, 49, incompetent for trial after he underwent a psychiatric evaluation.

Toledo Police Claim Inroads Against Rise In Gun Violence December 23, 2012 The Blade

Role of jails As many as 559, 000 mentally ill people were housed in state mental hospitals in 1959. During the 1990's, a shift to deinstitutionalize mentally ill people had dropped that number to about 70, 000, according to the National Institute Of Corrections.

With fewer mental health institutions operating, jail has become the alternative for many people with mental illness.

In a 2006 report, the Bureau Of Justice Statistics estimated that 705, 600 mentally ill adults were incarcerated in state prisons, 78, 800 in federal prisons, and 479, 900 in local jails.

To combat those numbers, the National Alliance On Mental Health has teamed with local law enforcement officials and the county board on mental health to train officers on how to handle the mentally ill when responding to an emergency.

The program called the Crisis Intervention Team, consists of both single day and weeklong seminars at which officers learn skills to improve safety when a mental ill person is involved.

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“The skills officers are taught on the job have a counter effect on the person having a psychiatric emergency,” said Scott Sylak, executive director of the Lucas County Mental Health And Recovery Services Board. “Obviously, we believe anybody who breaks the law should be held responsible for their actions, but sometimes when those actions are due to a psychiatric emergency, there are different levels of responsibility that should be considered, such as diversion or treatment.”

To date, more than 450 Lucas County officers of various levels have been trained. Toledo police spokesman Sgt. Joe Heffernan said the department aims to de-escalate situations and seek help for youth who may be mentally ill.

“If it hasn't reached the point of being violent, or a crime hasn't been committed, we'll work through (Children Service Board) and juvenile court to get them and their family some help,” Sergeant Heffernan said.

“Obviously, if someone is threatening harm, they can be arrested, but we use some discretion and see what would be best for the child.”

Education and treatment are key when it comes to tackling mental illness.

Knowing risk factors and following through with care plans can help. “Treatment can work, but it has to be taken seriously,” Dr. Carroll said. “I know doctors that have Bipolar Disorder and ADHD and they function just fine, because they're educated on their disorders and because of treatment.

“Mental illness is only a problem if you don't get treated.”

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Michigan's Bad Mental Health System Weighs Heavily On Judge February 27, 2015 The Blade

Detroit --- Wayne County Chief Probate Judge Milton Mack is frustrated with the mental health system in Michigan.

He's seen a lot of mentally ill people pass through his courtroom in his nearly quarter century on the bench. Many show up, again and again. Some are jailed, treated for a brief time, and released, to start the cycle all over.

Soon after he got to the bench, Michigan closed most of its mental hospitals, part of a wave of deinstitutionalization that swept the nation. Unfortunately, arrangements never were made for adequate facilities for outpatient care.

“Legally, we still have an inpatient system in an outpatient world,” he told me during an interview in his chambers last week. State lawmakers haven't been willing to do what needs to be done.

In some quarters, talking about mental illness is still difficult. Many people who would admit readily to a physical ailment have great difficulty admitting or even recognizing they are mentally ill.

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Worse, the judge said, “policy makers don't understand that mental illness is treatable.” They are reluctant to establish programs and appropriate the needed money,” he said.

Concerns about not infringing on people's right of self determination also have come into play. Now, “it is easier for me to order an amputation” than mental health treatment, the judge said.

This tragically cockeyed system is costing the state heavily, both in terms of money and in wasted human potential.

Michigan has about 43, 000 inmates in state prisons, who cost the state nearly $2 billion a year. Judge Mack estimates that perhaps one fourth of inmates are treatable mentally ill. He believes county jails may have even a higher proportion.

Inmates get mental health treatment in prisons and in some county jails, though the standard of care can be uneven and expensive. Some inmates have racked up hundreds of thousands of dollars in costs at state expense.

Sometimes, the failure of Michigan's system takes on ludicrous proportions.

Judge Mack's wife, Laura Mack, is a district judge in the small Michigan city of Wayne. She had a case where a prosecutor and a defense attorney agreed to bargain down an inmate's sentence to time served and released him. But the proceeding was interrupted by the prisoner.

“Excuse me, your honor, but could you sentence me to a little longer?” he asked. “I'm getting treatment for my mental illness here, and it makes me feel better.”

Startled, she offered him another 30 days. “Could you make it a little longer?” he said. Milton Mack said: “What we really need to do is to move to a recovery model for mental health care.” He has studied the situation and consulted the nation's top experts.

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“Some people, yes, are beyond recovery,” he said. Michigan has fewer public psychiatric beds per capita than all but five other states --- and far too few for the need. The Washington based Treatment Advocacy Center found a few years ago that Michigan had less than one bed available for every 10, 000 people, less than a fifth the recommended number.

Outpatient resources aren't much better. Ten years ago, the Michigan Legislature passed Kevin's Law, named for a graduate student who was killed in a public restroom by a paranoid schizophrenic who had stopped taking his medication.

The law was supposed to make it easier to allow judges to order outpatient care, to make sure people who need medication are taking it. Judge Mack was originally enthusiastic about it. But as a report by a Detroit TV station last year revealed, the law has failed. Mentally ill patients' guardians or family members need to file a petition with a court to order outpatient care, but few seek to have treatment ordered under Kevin's Law.

Kevin's Law was passed with little funding. Money for mental health and community health programs has been cut repeatedly. Judge Mack looked out of his window on the 13th floor of Detroit's government complex. He is about as authentic an old Detroiter as they come. Two of his ancestors were in the canoes with Antoine de la Cadillac when the French explorer founded the city on July 24th, 1701. From this office, he can see the site where they landed.

“I've always been interested in systems --- how they run, how to make them work better,” he said. He is proud that in the 1980's, before he was on the bench, he helped get rid of Wayne County's old and inefficient drain commissioner's officer.

Now 66, he has a resume full of recognition for his probate work. But improving Michigan's broken mental health system would be a far greater achievement, which potentially would save the state millions of dollars and restore thousands of people to productive lives.

“There's nothing partisan about this,” he said. Yet bafflingly and tragically, common sense approaches to reforming a broken mental health system have proven hard to sell, no matter who is in power. Jack Lessenberry

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State By State: March 15, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Robert Robinson & Dennis Lyons

Oregon, Salem --- Four more lawsuits have been filed against prison inmates by correction officers. The lawsuits are part of an effort by the Association Of Oregon Correction Employees to hold inmates accountable for treating officers badly.

Quarter Of Michigan Prisoners Need Mental Health Care

About a quarter of Michigan’s 43, 000 state prisoners are mentally ill, and new Michigan Corrections Director Don Heyns says he wants to shift responsibility for their treatment from his department to other agencies.

“Corrections has had a kind of mission creep over the years,” Heyns told The Detroit News for a story published online Sunday http://j.mp/pC9Gbh

“We’re doing mental health stuff, we’re educators and job trainers, you name it. “We need to bring the Michigan Correction Department back to its original mission, which is corrections.”

Heyns said he doesn’t expect he can hand off the mentally ill prisoners he has now, but he wants to work with sheriffs, prosecutors and other local officials to try to ensure fewer mentally ill people come to prison.

“I’ve got institutions that are just packed with people who are very, very seriously mentally ill,” he said. “These aren’t stress cases.

I can’t exactly provide a therapeutic environment. We’re struggling with that.” Mental health has become a particular burden, Heyns said.

Information from The Detroit News http://detnews.com/

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Sandusky Diary February 13, 2015 The Register

25 years ago, 1990: Custom agents in Miami saw a six fold increase in a single year in cocaine seized from people smuggling the drug into the U.S. by swallowing it in balloons or condoms. In 1989 they recovered 136 pounds of cocaine from 84 swallowers.

Inspirational Message Of The Week: Finding Hope

A study conducted by researchers at the University Of Minnesota found that almost 15 percent of American teenagers felt it was “highly likely” that they would die before their 35th birthday.

Those with this pessimistic outlook were more likely to engage in reckless behavior.

Dr. Iris Borowsky, Author of the study published in Pediatrics magazine, said: “These youth may take risks because they feel hopeless and figure that not much is at stake.” No one is immune to feelings of despair. The Psalms express repeated pleas for help when life seems dark.

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence” (Ps.42:5 NASB).

In a defiant step of faith, the psalmist tells himself not to forget about God, who will never forsake him.

Curtis Almquist has written: Hope is fueled by the presence of God … (It) is also fueled by the future of God in our lives.” We can say with the psalmist, “I shall yet praise Him” (v.5).

No follower of Christ should feel reluctant to seek counsel for depression.

Nor should we feel that faith and prayer are too simplistic to help.

There is always hope in God! David McCasland

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Book: Dare To Live Without Limits By: Bryan Golden A Basis For Change Is Built On A Person’s Self Control

The usual meaning of self control is being able to limit or resist indulgences.

This can apply to overeating, excessive drinking, or anything else that might be considered a vice. Appropriate self control also determines your level of success.

Having self control requires discipline, desire, and awareness. You need the discipline to act with intention rather than impulsively. You can achieve your goals when your life has a specific direction.

Those who live impetuously lack focus or persistence. They change direction on a whim.

Suppose you want to dig a foundation. A prudent way to construct it would be to first mark its size and location. Then you would consistently dig in the defined area until you reached the desired dimensions.

However, someone who lacked the requisite discipline would dig a shovel full of dirt in one area and then move to another location and dig a little more. They would keep digging in different places. In this scenario, the foundation would never be completed, regardless of how much time was devoted.

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As the basis for persistence, desire keeps you going.

It enables you to solve problems and get through adversity.

Desire provides energy when you are exhausted. If you set out to dig your foundation but don’t really care if it is ever completed, the chances are you will never finish. Even when you are digging in the correct location, you will get tired or discouraged.

What happens in the event you encounter a boulder while digging? Without adequate desire, you will give up and move onto some other project. But if you really want to complete your foundation, you will grab a sledgehammer and go to work on the boulder until it cracks.

Awareness allows you to understand what it is you want. Without this awareness, you won’t know what to build.

Each person has their own unique likes and dislikes. In order for you to pick a meaningful goal, you must first understand yourself.

Self control helps you avoid distractions that will derail you from achieving your goals. Reaching your destination takes effort and hard work. It is very tempting to want to engage in those activities that are fun or take less effort. This is not to imply that you shouldn’t enjoy yourself.

The point is to make sure you don’t allow your behavior to sabotage your success.

Bob has a great job he really enjoys. His friends like to party on weeknights. Bob works hard and enjoys unwinding by accompanying them. He usually goes out with them once or twice a week. Bob has a lot of fun but doesn’t get much sleep on those nights. Although he is never late to work, his productivity suffers.

Bob is jeopardizing his future with his current employer.

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Without the self control to avoid staying out too late during the week, Bob runs the risk of missing out on promotions or even losing his job.

All it takes is a lack of self control in just one area to undermine your future.

In terms of self development, self control means taking responsibility for your situation. You are in control of your life.

There are people who don’t believe this to be true. But it doesn’t matter. The principle still applies. You can choose not to exercise self control and live by happenstance. It’s your choice.

It’s never too late to begin exercising self control. Even if you have some bad habits or have made some bad decisions, you can begin to get back on track today. Past behavior doesn’t have to dictate your future.

The sooner you make positive adjustments, the sooner you will begin to enjoy the results. www.bryangolden.com

Get A Grip You can improve self control at any age, according to Marc N. Potenza MD. For grown-ups: “Trying to foster good habits in people at an early age is helpful but it’s never too late.

People can change --- particularly if they are motivated to change,” says Potenza.

To fight temptation, try substituting a healthier immediate reward for the less desirable treat you crave.

For example, put a dollar into a vacation fund every time you resist the urge to have a drink.

If it’s a problem: Medications combined with Cognitive Behavior Therapy can reduce compulsive behaviors, including gambling and substance abuse.

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WebMD: Mind Matters Think you’ve got no self control? You can learn to curb your impulses

Alison Zollars-Arthur knows better. As the owner of a skin and body wellness center, the 44 year old Houston resident regularly counsels her clients about the importance of a healthy diet.

But too often, she pigs out on fast food, salty snacks, and wine.

“If I have one glass of wine, I will have more,” she says.

“The voice saying, ‘You really shouldn’t,’ shuts down, and I can do anything I want to.

That “voice” is the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain that handles planning, making choices, and suppressing urges.

It coordinates with another region of the prefrontal cortex called the right orbitofrontal cortex, an area involved in regulating emotions.

When you encounter a potential reward, these areas of the brain do some quick math to determine whether you’ll be better off going for it or putting your energy toward a bigger payoff later.

“Often one is faced with small immediate rewards versus larger delayed rewards. Individuals who choose to wait for larger delayed rewards are typically seen as less impulsive,” says Marc N. Potenza MD, associate professor of psychiatry and child study at Yale University School Of Medicine.

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Impulsivity has two main characteristics: rapid, unplanned reactions and reduced concerns for the consequences of actions.

Clearly, poor impulse control can have all sorts of negative effects on your life, Potenza says.

For example, being unable to control your anger can lead to problems at work and with your family.

Lack of impulse control can cause compulsive disorders involving such things as gambling, shopping or sex.

And it has been linked to type 2 diabetes.

There also seems to be a genetic component. A 2008 study suggests that genetic factors influence the size of the right orbitofrontal cortex.

Teenagers with less volume in this area were more susceptible to alcohol abuse.

You can, however, learn to control yourself better, Potenza says. It may be as simple as paying better attention to the voice of your prefrontal cortex.

“Now, Arthur says, my main trick is just reminding myself, as I’m beginning to go down the decision making road, how I will feel afterward.” Susan Kuchinskas

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Today In History: June 30th

In 1859, French acrobat Charles Blondin walked back and forth on a tightrope above the gorge of Niagara Falls as thousands of spectators watched.

Internet Post December 1, 2016: Horrifying moment animal tamer is fatally savaged by a lion in front of screaming audience at Egyptian circus.

London Base Jumper Leaps Safely Off EU’s Tallest Building March 13, 2016 The Register (Associated Press)

London --- Witnesses said a base jumper safely parachuted from the European Union’s tallest building, the Shard in London, and evaded police by jumping on the subway.

Passersby captured the stunt on social media Saturday. Video footage and photographs showed the man with green chute deployed floating from the Shard onto a street near the London Bridge station.

They say the unidentified man folded his chute, handed it to an accomplice, and ran into the station minutes before police arrived. It’s the first documented base jump since the 2012 completion of the Shard, a spire shaped skyscraper that stands 95 stories and 1, 016 feet high.

Sandusky Diary June 8, 2015 The Register

25 years ago, 1990: A 28 year old Tennessee man rafted by kayak over Niagara Falls in a stunt that took a decade to plan and apparently killed him. Onlookers watched in horror as the man rafted over the falls. He went over the 160 foot high Canadian Falls, and hours later there was no trace of him, although debris from his kayak was recovered.

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A Teenage Daredevil Who Climbed The World Trade Center’s Centerpiece Tower In 2014 Has Surrendered To Police

After videos posted on social media showed him dangling from other New York skyscrapers. Police say 19-year-old Justin Casquejo turned himself in Friday at 12:30p.m. and faces charges of reckless endangerment and trespassing.

Man Jumps Off Bridge, Dies Friends: Port Clinton resident didn’t want to hurt himself May 21, 2015 The Register

Port Clinton --- Two of Brandon Jesse’s friends witnessed the jump and told police they were walking back from Mr. Ed’s Bar And Grille when it happened.

They told police it looked as if Jesse came to the surface and went for a nearby platform and was hanging on as if he was coming out of the water. The friends ran down to help him, but Jesse was gone, according to the report.

One of the friends told Port Clinton police Jesse didn’t want to hurt himself and he just wanted to jump in the water.

A paramedic later found a body floating near a public boat dock, which turned out to be Jesse. They performed CPR on him and transported him to the emergency room at Magruder Hospital. Jesse was later pronounced dead.

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Mind & Body: The Fear Factor Learning to manage risk and embrace the danger May 2013 Men's Journal

Over the years, I've learned that two distinct forces lead people to put themselves in dangerous situations: ignorance and experience.

When a seasoned veteran approaches a precarious situation on a mountain or in the ocean, he usually knows what he's getting into and understands how to assess the risk. The other side of the coin is ignorance --- when people just don't know enough to understand that they're getting themselves into trouble.

Obviously, I've paid enough attention to risk so that I'm still here. I think I've always been scared enough to make it through. The majority of my most death defying episodes weren't anywhere near the water.

I once fell through a cornice in Russia riding behind these crazy French snowboarders who had warned us about the danger beforehand. And just as I was getting ready to yell to the guy in front, “Hey, I think we're on the wrong side of the rocks!” I fell into a hole in the cornice and landed down inside it, on a ledge.

Complacency is your enemy. Just because you think you can handle a situation, don't disrespect the fact that it can hit you hard or that you can be the first to fall.

When we first started riding Jaws, Maui's monster break called Peahi by the locals, all the best surfers, the guys who had the skill and experience to handle it, were the most conservative. In fact, the more skilled the surfer, the more cautious he was.

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It was all these less skilled yee haw guys who would go out and throw themselves into these situations that they really didn't understand. It was a certain kind of ignorance --- they didn't have the experience to know exactly what they were getting into. Watching these guys can make it feel like the angels are busy protecting all the fools.

That's why if you know what you're doing, you have to be really smart.

When I'm going into a situation I don't understand or have experience with, I find somebody who knows what he's doing, and I hang next to him. I watch, listen, I study, and I take advantage of his time, because even though I might not have the luxury of having his experience, if I'm smart, I can benefit from him and use him as an adviser.

Anyone who knows what he's doing takes a serious attitude toward a risky situation and doesn’t take it lightly.

You know that saying “There's bold pilots, and old pilots, but there's no old, bold pilots.”

There's a certain truth to that. It's a traumatic experience getting caught in an avalanche or getting held down by a wave, and often the punishment is more emotional than physical. Even before something happens, our minds can become a source of irrational fear --- when imagination is more powerful than reality.

All the people I know who have been bitten by sharks now. Every one of them. I think they imagined being attacked by a shark would be so much worse than it actually was.

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Of course, you will fail. But if you can endure the punishment when you get in over your head, you'll benefit and be able to apply the experience to other situations. This makes it less scary. You've watched, learned, tried, and survived it --- and it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be.

Risk has been exponentially accelerated because of the Internet and the notoriety that comes from all the daredevil videos.

When you see guys jumping from outer space, riding 100 foot waves, and doing triple back flips on dirt bikes, you're kind of like, “OK, now what am I going to do?” Remember, these phenoms are one in a million.

The rest of the guys are all being hauled away on gurneys.

When it comes to risk, a good rule of thumb is: “Would you do it if no one was watching?” I have to ask myself that. Maybe I need at least one buddy to see me, though, so I can ask him how it looks! Laird Hamilton

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Downstream Towns Brace For Floods N.C. Governor warns thousands to flee and go to higher ground October 12, 2016 The Blade

Greenville, N.C. ---Tens of thousands of people, some of them as much as 125 miles inland, have been warned to move to higher ground as Hurricane Matthew pushed downstream, two days after the storm blew out to sea.

Mr. McCrory angrily asked people to stop ignoring evacuation orders and driving around barricades on flooded roads: “That is unacceptable. You are not only putting your life in danger, you are putting emergency responders’ lives in jeopardy.”

Uncommon Knowledge: How Dumb Turns Deadly May 2015 Men’s Health

Lots of idiotic acts start with “genius” ideas. Those that end in carnage fall mostly in the guy realm.

In fact, the authors of a new BMJ study have coined a term for this: Male Idiot Theory, or MIT. (The Massachusetts Institute Of Technology is so grateful.)

After analyzing two decades’ worth of Darwin Award winners, they determined that 282 of 318 epically dumb moves were perpetrated by guys.

That’s an 89 percent stake in bizarre deaths and dismemberments. The gravestones below show the number of boneheads whose actions ended in death or castration. Use it to keep yourself out of the body and eunuch count. Rachel Swaby

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Morbid miscalculations 60 idiots: Setting up your own bungee jump? Don’t. But if you insist, remember to factor in how far the rope stretches before you take the flying leap.

Vehicular violence 56 morons: Maybe the stupidity of riding on top of a car or getting towed in a shopping cart isn’t apparent until someone hits the brakes or yells, “Speed bump!”

Explosions and fire 45 numskulls: Whether it’s shoving a firecracker up your butt or juggling grenades, don’t forget how easily combustibles can accidentally (and fatally) ignite.

Man, 63, Burned In Explosion July 2, 2015 The Blade

Sandusky --- A 63 year old man suffered third degree burns over most of his body after pouring gasoline into a hot fire pit, according to a police report. According to a Sandusky police report, Mr. Roth was at a home on McEwen Street, when around 9: 15 p.m., Mr. Roth poured gasoline into a metal fire pit that he thought had cooled. As he poured the gasoline, the can exploded, sending gas and flames onto Mr. Roth, the police report states.

Self inflicted wounds 26 dummies: A pen gun or stab proof jacket might seem cool. But unless you’re on a secret mission to oblivion, do not test them on anyone --- including yourself.

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Fatal falls 26 dolts: Doing planks atop a balcony railing or pull-ups while hanging over the edge: That’s probably taking the idea of a killer workout a bit too far, OK?

Outdoor endings 25 boneheads: The wild is wild enough. Do not go on a desert hike without water, or a rafting trip during a flood. Also, don’t try to create your own fish suit. ‘Nuff said.

Accidental electrocutions 23 dimwits: Oh zap! Illegal acts like tapping into a power grid, stealing live copper wire, or tagging the rooftop of a train can incur the instant death penalty.

Animal attacks 21 fools: Don’t mess with Mother Nature. No taunting snakes or stealing honey.

And trust us: An elephant can literally stomp out your attempt at a selfie.

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Natasha Richardson’s Final Night Of Joy The heartbreaking mistake that killed her

Experts say “The Parent Trap” star suffered the tragic “Talk And Die Syndrome” when a person with a head injury seems normal despite a blood build up between the skull and brain. “This problem is basically caused by growing pressure put on the brain caused by internal bleeding. When the pressure becomes too great, brain damage occurs,” Dr. Malloy, who is based in Illinois. “But if you can remove the growing pressure on the brain, you can prevent serious brain damage.”

“If she had been correctly diagnosed, she could have been treated, and her death could have been prevented.”

Rangers Halt Attempt At Recovery Of Body June 9, 2016 The Blade

Billings, Mont. --- Rangers suspended their attempts on Wednesday to recover the body of a man who wandered from a designated boardwalk and fell into an acidic hot spring at Yellowstone National Park.

“They were able to recover a few personal effects,” a park spokesman said. “There were no remains left to recover.”

Officials said Colin Nathaniel Scott, 23, had traveled about 225 yards off the boardwalk on Tuesday when he fell into the hot spring.

Teen Blows Off His Hand June 15, 2016 The Register

Milan Township --- A firework detonated in the hand of a Norwalk teen who was attempting to launch it at a co-worker driving behind him on Ohio 2 Tuesday morning. He underwent surgery Tuesday afternoon, but Erie County Sheriff Paul Sigsworth said he sustained “very, very extensive injuries to his hand.” Courtney Astolfi

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 4: 49 a.m. 300 block Camp Street Monday July 20

Children shooting off fireworks. Officer spoke with homeowner.

Boy, 15, Dead From Apparent Electrocution April 20, 2016 The Register

Vermilion Township --- Erie County deputies said it appeared the boy was electrocuted while in the process of conducting an experiment he saw on YouTube --- something called a “Jacob’s Ladder,” defined as a high voltage traveling arc of electricity between two points.

Death In The Desert July 23, 2012 PEOPLE

As the sun began to rise over the Desert Mountains of southern Arizona on April 22nd, Christie McNally desperately activated an emergency beacon outside a cave where her husband lay.

More than five hours later rescuers from a search helicopter rappelled down to the cave, in which they found camping equipment and food, but only a bit of dirty water in a jug --- and a frantic McNally. “Christie was delirious,” says Sgt. David Noland of the Cochise County, Ariz., sheriff’s office.

McNally believed her husband was very ill; in fact, Ian Thorson, 38, was dead. A coroner’s report determined the cause: dehydration. “This was a couple who thought they could live off the land,” says Noland.

“Obviously they made a terrible mistake.”

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Dangerous Moves March/April 2012 WebMD the Magazine

Walking while listening to an iPod or other MP3 player can be dangerous, a new study shows.

After analyzing records of pedestrian injuries and deaths between 2004 and 2011, researchers at the University Of Maryland School Of Medicine say 116 pedestrians had been hit by a car or train while wearing headphones.

Eighty one died. And the yearly death rate tripled from 16 in 2004-05 to 47 in 2010-11.

Nearly 90% of the accidents took place in urban area; more than two thirds of those injured or killed were men under age 30.

Researchers suggest that wearing headphones endangers pedestrians two ways: by distracting them because they're listening to and operating the device rather than paying attention to their surroundings and by preventing them from hearing the honking horns of approaching cars or trains. Source: Injury Prevention

Woman Struck, Killed By Fire Truck June 30, 2016 The Register

Green Springs --- A woman walking around Beaver Creek Reservoir Tuesday evening died after being struck by a Green Springs Volunteer Fire Department truck. She was wearing ear buds as she walked the tip of the reservoir on Township Road 196.

Police Blotter: Perkins Police 4: 22 p.m. 200 block Boston Road Monday May 23

Girl riding bike using earphones swerved in front of police car.

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Taking A Storm Photo? Better Safe Than Viral September 13, 2013 USA Today

Emergency officials in Colorado are fed up with people going to risky flood areas for a new profile picture or to score some re-tweets.

Bronson Hillard, a spokesman for the University Of Colorado, says students are flocking to Boulder Creek to photograph one another with water cascading around them.

“Don't risk your life for Face book or Twitter or Instagram,” he says. “You don't know how deep pools of water are. There could be electrical wires, glass, metal, tree limbs,” he says. “It's not worth it.” Natalie DiBlasio

Beachgoers Warned: Don’t Take Selfies With Seals May 29, 2016 The Register (Associated Press)

Boston --- The feds have a warning for beachgoers in New England over Memorial Day weekend: Don’t take selfies with the seals.

Federal officials said people who approach a seal pup can put both themselves and the animal at risk.

In a statement Thursday, the Greater Atlantic Region Of The National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration Fisheries said it’s not unusual for a mother seal to leave her pup on the beach for up to 24 hours while she feeds.

But if the mother sees people near her pup, she might feel it is too dangerous to return and abandon her young. The statement also notes that wild animals act unpredictably and seals can leave a “lasting impression” with their powerful jaws.

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The Shocking Truth About NFL Shipwreck Tragedy

The national media reported on March 17th that a fistfight broke out during the doomed fishing excursion that claimed the lives of two NFL players and a friend. But that was old news to ENQUIRER readers! In our issue that hit newsstands March 12th, we were the first to report that one of the NFL players lost at sea snapped and traded punches with his pals.

Our story also revealed exclusive details about the tragic voyage that were blacked out in an official 23 page Coast Guard report.That report did not name the boater who attacked his sea mates. But The ENQUIRER’s exclusive reported survivor Nick Schuyler told authorities it was boat owner and Oakland Raiders linebacker Marquis Cooper who became unhinged and attacked Schuyler and their fishing buddy Will Bleakley.

“Cooper just flipped out. Schuyler said he was acting ‘insane,’ screaming and throwing punches at him and Bleakley,” our sources revealed. Cooper then stripped off his life jacket and dove into the water. He never resurfaced. Detroit Lions defensive end Corey Smith had swam off earlier, and Bleakley swam off and vanished just hours before Schuyler was rescued. Don Gentile

Man Out To See Sunrise Drifts Miles Away On Piece Of Plywood June 10, 2016 The Register (Associated Press)

A man getting ready to watch the sunrise on a piece of plywood in a marina was swept out by the Hudson River current and wound up about 2 nautical miles away near Governors Island.

The man was sent drifting into the river on an 8 foot long piece of plywood on Thursday around 4: 45 a.m., a little more than half an hour before the sun came up, Fire Department Of New York Captain Louis Guzzo said. “At first, we just thought it was debris,” Guzzo said. “You wouldn’t put this thing on a lake much less New York Harbor.”

The man told rescuers from the fire department marine units that he went out to the dock at the Newport Yacht club and Marina in Jersey City to watch the sun come up. Guzzo said he believes the man stayed on the piece of wood because he didn’t want to jump into the water and lose his cell phone while swimming back.

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Getting Away With Murder The unexplained deaths that remain a mystery to this day August 18, 2014 The ENQUIRER

John Denver The “Rocky Mountain High” singer, 53, died in 1997 when his plane crashed into the Pacific Ocean.

Denver lacked an aviation medical certificate, a requirement for a valid pilot’s license at the time.

A National Transportation Safety Board investigation showed that the leading cause of the accident was Denver’s inability to safely switch fuel tanks in flight.

State By State: August 5, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Tim Wendel & Dennis Lyons

Wisconsin, Burlington --- Pilot error causes a plane crash November 18th west of the municipal airport that killed a father and daughter from Illinois.

A National Transportation Safety Board report points to Todd Parfitt’s lack of recent flight experience to explain the uncontrolled spin that led the single engine plane to crash.

Passages: Update

The Learjet crash that killed four people and seriously injured Travis Barker, 34, and the late DJ AM nineteen months ago was caused by under inflated tires, federal safety investigators said on April 6th.

The National Transportation Safety Board concluded that a design flaw in the Learjet 60 and the pilot’s decision to abort takeoff in Columbia, S.C., were also factors in the disaster.

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Internet Post December 1, 2016: Doomed Colombia crash plane had been flying for 20 minutes longer than its four hour fuel capacity BEFORE it was told to circle as it is revealed desperate pilot pleaded with air traffic control for help as he declared 'We're going down.' bin Laden Wove Network Of Terror Around The World Son of wealthy Saudi insisted U.S. targeted Muslims May 2, 2011 The Blade (Reuters)

London --- Born in Saudi Arabia in 1957, one of more than 50 children of millionaire businessman Mohamed bin Laden, bin Laden’s father died in a plane crash, apparently from an error by his American pilot.’’

Advertisement: 500 Million Lighters: Let The Sparks Fly!

1944: A World War 11 pilot lands a disabled plane solely by Zippo lighter illuminating the instrument panel. www.zippo.com

MailBag: Iran Hikers

Am I the only one who wonders what the heck these three hikers were doing on the Iranian border in the first place? Countries where Americans are not welcome are extremely bad vacation choices. I’m as happy as anyone about their release and eventual return to the U.S., but next time tell them to please use some common sense. Kathy Fugate

Woman Unhooked From Line Before Fall August 26, 2016 The Blade

Dover, Del. --- A woman who fell 35 feet to her death from a zip line platform had disconnected herself from the safety system, the attraction’s operator said Thursday.

Delaware State Police investigators are probing how Tina Werner, 59, tumbled off the platform at the Go Ape Treetop Adventure attraction in Lums Pond State Park Wednesday.

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The Case Of The Deadly Avalanche Should a resort pay damages to the family of a man who died while skiing? December 16, 2016 Reader’s Digest

On January 22nd, 2012, 28 year old Christopher Norris was skiing alone at Winter Park Resort in Winter Park, Colorado. When he didn’t meet up with his father in law at the time they had planned, the ski patrol was dispatched.

Sadly, they found Norris’s body buried under several feet of snow just off a black diamond run in an area of the resort that was known as Trestle Trees.

Norris had died after being overcome by an inbound avalanche --- one occurring within the boundary of a ski resort.

Four months later, Norris’s wife, Salynda Fleury, filed a wrongful death lawsuit in the Grand County District Court on behalf of herself and the couple’s two children.

In the complaint, Fleury claimed that IntraWest Winter Park Operations Corporation, which runs the resort, had been negligent because, despite avalanche warnings released that day by the Colorado Avalanche Information Center for areas with conditions similar to those on Trestle Trees at the time, IntraWest failed to close the area or warn its skiers of the danger.

She said that her husband “could rightly assume the Trestle Trees area was safe from avalanche danger when Winter Park did not close the area.” Fleury asked for an unspecified amount in damages.

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IntraWest claimed it was not liable for Norris’s death, since its resort was protected by Colorado’s Ski Safety Act, enacted in 1979 “to establish reasonable safety standards for the operation of ski areas and for the skiers using them.”

The act outlines a list of the “inherent dangers and risks of skiing” that a skier should expect as part of the sport, which include “changing weather conditions,” snow conditions as they exist or may change,” and “variations in steepness or terrain.”

“This triad describes the building blocks of avalanches,” says IntraWest’s attorney, Peter Rietz, “Avalanches are an inherent risk of skiing.” The district court judge, Mary Hoak, agreed with him and dismissed the case.

Fleury then appealed to the Colorado Court Of Appeals.’ “If the legislature had intended to include avalanches in its list of inherent risks of skiing, it would have included the word avalanche,” says the widow’s attorney, James Heckbert.

“It did not.”

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Lighting The Fuse: The Witless And The Witness

There is a death in America about every 14 seconds. Many of those losses are senseless, many are tragic, and many are a blend of the two descriptions. But the human mind cannot dwell on each loss and maintain any quality of life.

That does not discard the grief and consequence for those affected, but it is a necessary survival function to --- nine times out of 10 --- ignore for whom the bell tolls. Life is for living and moving to the future, not for preparing to die by mourning the past.

Tragic death is the insistent knock upon the door that interrupts the bliss of everyday life. How loud does that knock have to be to get through to you?

When the very young die? When someone famous you admire dies?

One of those loud knocks broke my reverie July 5th, when it was reported that Jesse William Burley died in a Fargo N.D. mobile home park.

Burley, 41, was foolishly setting off commercial grade fireworks --- a neighbor reportedly said some of them were labeled, “If Found, Return To The U.S. Government.”

Burley was seen setting off one of the explosives, which sent “visible shock waves in the air,” The Grand Forks Herald reported.

He lit the next firework. There was a cloud of smoke and a bang. The neighbor who ran to help made a grisly discovery.

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“When I walked up to his body, it was nothing but his shoulders down,” he said. Burley literally blew his head off with the firework, a bizarre but at least lightning strike quick death.

The next paragraph of the story made my breath freeze in my throat. “His children, 2 and 3 …” it began, and I had miserable, horrific visions of Burley’s kids sitting on the front steps of Burley’s mobile home, covering their ears and marveling at the fireworks, when their father shuffled off his mortal coil.

But God was looking down on the Burley family through the smoke of the fireworks. “We were not at home when the accident happened,” the sentence finished. And while there are still two young children without a father, at least they were spared the scarring experience of seeing the tragedy.

Another knock that continues to echo through my thoughts was accompanied by a horrific video. Michael S. Miller is editor in chief of Toledo Free Press and Toledo Free Press Star. [email protected]

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Must Bikers Wear Helmets?

In the last 10 years, the number of motorcycle fatalities has increased 125% and 300% for riders over age 50, with more than 4, 800 deaths in 2006.

Of those killed, 42% were not wearing helmets. “About 700 lives a year could be saved if people wore their helmets,” says Secretary Of Transportation Mary Peters, an avid biker.

11 Things You Should Never Buy Used Here are items you should never buy used, according to experts

Safety helmets: “When you buy a used bike or skating helmet, you don’t know what it’s been through,” Gordon said.” It may not have a visible crack on the outside, but it could still be damaged structurally.” S.D. Hubbard

Police Blotter: Perkins Police 2: 39 a.m. 6000 block Milan Road Sunday May 17

Warning for no motorcycle helmet.

Man Ejected From Motorcycle June 6, 2015 The Register

Benton Township --- A man remains in critical condition after he was ejected from his motorcycle Thursday.

Paul Johnson, 66, was flown by medical helicopter to Mercy St. Vincent Medical Center in Toledo for incapacitating injuries after he failed to negotiate a curve and went off the right side of Toussaint North Road, according to a related report.

According to the report, Johnson was not wearing a helmet, and alcohol is also believed to be a contributing factor in the crash.

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1 Dies, 1 Hurt In Monroe Motorcycle Accident April 26, 2016 The Blade

Monroe --- A woman was killed and a man was injured in a motorcycle crash Sunday in Monroe, authorities said.

The woman, who was a passenger, was pronounced dead at the scene, Monroe police said. She did not wear a helmet, police said.

The motorcycle was northbound on I-75, exiting at the East Front Street ramp about 8 p.m. when it went out of control at the curve and crashed, according to police. Patrick Pfanner

Your Voice On The Street: Stephanie Szozda What is the scariest thing you've ever done?

Bob Sondergeld (Genoa) “My wife and I were riding our motor scooters and I got to the gas station before her and when I looked back I saw her on the ground.

She had been hit by a car and walking up to the accident is the scariest thing I've ever done.”

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Outrageous: Pets Gone Wild

In the early morning of July 1st, 2009, Charles Darnell found his girlfriend’s eight and a half foot Burmese python loose in their living room.

He stuck it in a sack and dropped it back in its terrarium, attaching a quilt to the top with clothespins. But when Darnell and Jaren Hare awoke later that morning in their Oxford, Florida, home, they made a terrible discovery.

Their pet had escaped the sack and slithered out of the terrarium and into Hare’s daughter’s crib. It had coiled itself around two year old Shaianna, sunk its fangs into her head, and slowly strangled her to death.

Of course, you shouldn’t need a law to prevent irresponsible parents from keeping man eating snakes near their babies. Last August, Hare and Darnell were charged with third degree murder and involuntary manslaughter (they pleaded not guilty). Michael Crowley

Florida Fugitive Lying Low After Slithery Escape September 4, 2015 The Blade (Associated Press)

Orlando, Fla. --- Wildlife officials in Florida say they’re searching for an 8 foot long king cobra snake that escaped from a home in Orlando. Florida Fish And Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Greg Workman said the snake was reported missing Wednesday by its owner.

Officials said the non-native, venomous snake is green and yellow. Mr. Workman said the snake’s owner has the proper permit to keep it as a pet and officials said the owner is an experienced snake handler.

Wildlife officials said they’ve been canvassing the area looking for the snake. Officials warn residents not to approach the reptile if they see it and instead urge them to contact the agency’s alert hot line.

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Disney Posts Warnings After Alligator Attack June 19, 2016 The Blade

Orlando, Fla. --- Days after an alligator dragged a 2 year old boy to his death in a lagoon at a Walt Disney World resort, the company installed warning signs and temporary barriers at beaches on the property.

The company’s actions follow the death of Lane Graves, who waded into a lagoon near Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa on Tuesday. As the toddler stood in about a foot of water, an alligator grabbed him and dragged him underwater.

The child died from drowning and traumatic injuries, the Orange County Medical Examiner’s Office said.

Man Killed In Alligator Attack At Texas Marina July 4, 2015 The Blade

Orange, Texas --- A man was killed Friday when an alligator attacked him during a late night swim at a Texas marina, according to police.

The owners of the marina recently had spotted a large alligator on a few occasions, and put up a sign warning people to stay out of the water, Captain Enmon said.

Man Charged After Petting Cougars July 26, 2015 The Register

Columbus --- Ohio zoo officials say they are pressing charges against a man who jumped a fence to pet cougars, then posed his video on YouTube.

The video posted earlier this week shows an outer fence being jumped, then two cougars being petted through another fence as a voice says things such as “kitty, kitty, kitty.”

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5 Questions For Sara Gilbert August 22, 2013 USA Today

Sara Gilbert, 38, co-host of The Talk, spoke with USA Today's Lindsay Deutsch about her new self help book, The Imperfect Environmentalist (Ballantine).

Question: What was the most shocking thing you found?

Ms. Gilbert: I was shocked to find out that kids are going through puberty five years earlier than they did 100 years ago because of hormone disruptions in our environment.

The Moment I First Felt ‘I’m A Mom’ I became a mom when … I realized it was my job to teach my daughter about becoming a woman. May 2009 Redbook

“When my kids were little, I was focused on establishing their routines, dressing them up in cute outfits, and buying the latest toys. Motherhood was new and exciting, and I felt like I was playing house.

I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with the ‘serious stuff’ for a long time.

Then, about a month ago, I basically freaked out when my 8 year old, Ayden, was getting dressed and I realized that her body was already starting to change.

Kids are maturing physically so much earlier than when I grew up.

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After Ayden left for school that morning, I thought, I really am a mom --- I’m the one responsible for teaching her about her body and period and all those changes.

And based on recent discussions I’d had with friends who have daughters a year or two older than Ayden, I knew that other hard talks --- about the cattiness that can happen between girls, relationships with boys, and sex --- weren’t far behind.

Ayden was clueless about all this, and I didn’t know how to explain anything, but it was my job to get her prepared.

I just wished I could take everything I knew as an adult and put it in her 8 year old brain.

That day, I bought Ayden her own deodorant and two books about her body that we could read together.

Then, I called my friend who has four girls and asked her for the titles of other books that could help me out.

Ever since then, I’ve seen my job as a parent in a whole new light --- and it scares the crap out of me. But I’m up for it.” Stacey Cohen

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The Bad Mother August 2004 Good Housekeeping

It had been a pretty uneventful afternoon at the Meriden police station.

Veteran detective Gary Brandl, then 51, was finishing up paperwork when he got his last assignment for the day --- a “sudden death” involving a 12 year old boy.

Uniformed officers had already gone to the scene, but Brandl knew it was routine to send a detective whenever a report like this came in.

As Brandl drove up to the residence, he remembers thinking that it looked like a nice home. Once he opened the door, however, “it was a total shock … The whole house was just chaos, with heaps of clutter from the front to the back,” he says.

Clothing, wrapping paper, dirty dishes, and newspapers were scattered everywhere. Brandl picked his way through a narrow path from the front door to the kitchen.

With dirty pans and spilled food, the kitchen “was absolutely disgusting,” he continues. In the bathroom, he found a foot and a half of clothing on the floor; the bathtub, also filled with clothing as well as toys, “looked like it hadn’t been used in a long time.”

Worst of all, according to Brandl, was the stench. “It was like sticking your head in a stinky clothes hamper and then compounding that smell with rotting garbage.”

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In Daniel’s oversized closet, where clothes and bedding covered the floor, officers on the scene had discovered several long kitchen knives and a homemade spear.

A boy could get hurt sleeping in here, Brandl said to himself.

Days later, still shaken by what he’d seen, the detective launched a formal investigation into Daniel’s death.

It immediately became clear that the seventh grader had missed or been late for 74 out of 78 school days that year.

When Daniel did show up, he was often taunted by school bullies. Classmates and teachers complained that he was unwashed and would often soil himself.

In late April, nearly four months after Daniel died, Judith Scruggs, then 51, was charged with three felony counts and one misdemeanor related to endangering her son. The living conditions in the decedent’s home were “appalling and unsafe,” Brandl wrote in the arrest warrant application.

The case made headlines throughout the country. It was the first time in Connecticut, and perhaps in the United States, that a mother had been convicted in connection with her child’s suicide.

Whenever Judith complained about the bullying, she says, school officials countered that Daniel brought the bullying on himself because of his poor hygiene. Gary Jervey

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Dear Abby: I am 24 and still a virgin. For the past 10 years I have had a vaginal infection. I’m scared that I can’t have children. Because of this I have never allowed myself to date.

I’m terrified of going to a doctor. My father died of cancer when I was 17, and the thought of being diagnosed with cancer prevents me from going to get this looked at.

I am very depressed about this and the stress is causing my hair to fall out. I need help, but I’m scared.

What should I do? Anonymous In Santa Barbara, California

Dear Anonymous: You MUST see a doctor. If you need moral support, ask a trusted friend or relative to come with you.

The only thing worse than dying of cancer would be to die of a disease that could have been cured had it been diagnosed early enough.

Although I am not licensed to practice medicine, allow me to suggest that if what you have is cancer, you would have known by now. That’s why I’m urging you to act like the adult you are and talk to a gynecologist.

If you don’t know of one or can’t afford one, contact Planned Parenthood. It has clinics that provide the help you need. The caring people at Planned Parenthood will help you as they have helped many others, and they’ll do it on a sliding payment scale, if necessary.

Please let me hear from you again so I’ll know you’re OK. www.dearabby.com

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Health Read: Lessons From The Ob/Gyn Files August 2012 Redbook

Hilda Hutcherson MD is an Ob/Gyn and a professor at Columbia University in New York City Myra Wick MD Ob/Gyn at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN

She forgot about her tampon “A woman once came to me because she noticed a strange odor coming from her vagina.

I ended up using forceps to retrieve a tampon from when she'd had her period several weeks before.

My patient was lucky that she did not develop toxic shock syndrome, a potentially fatal infection.

Instead, she had bacterial vaginosis, which is typically treated with antibiotics. If you ever smell an unusual odor, especially if you also have itching, burning, or discharge, call your doctor right away. And keep track of your tampon situation!” With Reporting By: Lisa Mulcahy

British Soldier Gives Birth In War Zone September 21, 2012 The Blade (Associated Press)

Hours after a British soldier in Afghanistan told medics she was suffering from stomach pains, the Royal Artillery gunner unexpectedly gave birth to a boy --- the first child ever born to a member of Britain’s armed forces in combat.

Britain’s defense ministry said Thursday the soldier told authorities she had not been aware she was pregnant and only consulted doctors on the day that she went into labor. Major Heyman said it may have been “that the excitement of the tour masked the symptoms of the pregnancy.”

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Health Read: Lessons From The Ob/Gyn Files August 2012 Redbook

Hilda Hutcherson MD is an Ob/Gyn and a professor at Columbia University in New York City Toni Stern MD an Ob/Gyn in New York City

She got pregnant while on the pill “I had a patient come in one day because she had missed her period. I gave her a pregnancy test, and yes, she was pregnant. She couldn’t believe it, because she was faithfully taking the Pill.

In my experience, this happens because the Pill isn’t being taken correctly, so I asked her what she had been doing.

She admitted she didn’t like the Pill --- it was making her gain weight --- but she was still taking it every day, either in the morning or at night, and when she forgot, which was often, she doubled up.

That meant if she forgot one day, she was possibly taking two pills the next night and then another the following morning, so her hormone levels were fluctuating wildly --- and that’s not going to protect you against pregnancy.

What’s more, when you repeatedly take a large amount of hormones at once, it can put you at risk for dangerous blood clots.

You need to take the Pill exactly as prescribed, at the same time of day every day.

If you have concerns about side effects or aren’t clear on what to do if you miss a dose, ask your doctor; there are many different formulations of birth control pills.

Finally, if you’re not taking the Pill as prescribed, take the added precaution of using a condom.” With Reporting By: Lisa Mulcahy

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Health Read: Lessons From The Ob/Gyn Files August 2012 Redbook

Hilda Hutcherson MD is an Ob/Gyn and a professor at Columbia University in New York City Tara Poulin, a DONA certified birth doubla and owner of Birthing Gently in Bradford, MA.

She was mortified by labor “First time moms can’t possibly know what happens during labor.

For example, it’s common to poop a little while pushing, because the baby is rolling over your rectum. Many women get embarrassed, although they don’t need to be --- and one mom I worked with got pretty confused.

We were in the delivery room with her doctor, several residents, her husband, and both sets of grandparents.

As our mom started to feel rectal pressure, she yelled at the top of her lungs, ‘help, someone! I’m giving birth out of my butt, not my vagina!’

To make things even crazier, her dad slapped on his eyeglasses and leaned in for a look.

We pulled him away, wiped her up, and assured her that it’s impossible to give birth out of your butt.

So now everybody’s clear on that!

But more seriously, birth is full of unexpected stuff that’s normal but sometimes shocking to patients, so think carefully about whom and how many people you’re inviting into the labor room.” With Reporting By: Lisa Mulcahy

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Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Question: John does not want his daughter to participate in the sex education classes in her junior high school. Does he have a right to keep her from going to the classes?

Answer: At one time courts gave their consent when parents insisted that their children be excused from sex education classes.

Recently courts have been stricter about this issue and have been requiring students to attend a class even when they or their parents object to its contents. But many school authorities recognize that the issue of sex education is a sensitive one, and have established guidelines for excusing students who object. John should contact his local school board to learn its policy regarding sex education classes.

Ask Rosalind Book: Queen Bees And Wannabes By: Rosalind Wiseman Smart ways to help your tweens & teens navigate the real world

Question: My 10 year old son is asking me a lot of questions about sex. I managed OK with our daughter but was hoping my husband could handle this one. My son says he feels more comfortable talking to me. Do you have any suggestions?

Rosalind Wiseman: Here’s the deal: If your son wants to talk, you talk. Yes, it can be awkward. My personal favorite, from one of my boys, is, “Wait, do people have sex even when they don’t want a baby?

Why would they do that?

Do you and Dad do that?”

Even if you’re blushing, tell your son how glad you are that he approached you, and reassure him that you’re happy to discuss whatever is on his mind.

But when the conversation is winding down say, “I also want you to feel good about going to your father, so next time the two of you are hanging out, ask him your questions too.”

Then privately let your husband know he’s on deck. www.rosalindwiseman.com

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Dear Abby: Do you or your readers think it's acceptable for a father to ask his 21 year old college student son whether he and his girlfriend of one year are sexually active?

This is his first girlfriend. I am his mother, and I say it's none of our business. My husband says it's a reasonable question; he just wants to give him fatherly advice --- like “be careful.” Mom In Colorado

Dear Mom: Would you still say it's none of your business if your son made his first girlfriend pregnant?

I would, however, caution your husband to be more tactful about how he approaches the subject because a blunt question like the one he's contemplating could be off putting. If he has birth control information he wants to impart, a better way to approach it would be to raise the subject without putting his son on the spot. www.dearabby.com

Dear Abby: I finished college a year ago and officially moved out of my parents' house. I then moved across the country for a job. For the past three months I have been dating this great guy. I never dated as a teenager, and while I talk to my parents frequently on the phone, I have yet to mention him because I'm shy about it and don't know how they would react to me dating.

I don't want the relationship to go on for months and not tell them because I feel like they will treat it as if I'm a teenager dating for the first time. This is a serious adult relationship and not like a teen's first boyfriend. How do I tell them? Adult Relationship In Arizona

Dear Adult: While you're not experienced, you’re no teenager. Your parents can minimize the importance of your relationship only if you allow them to. Granted, you are a late bloomer --- but you are also an adult. The longer you keep this a secret, the harder it will be for you to open up.

One way to introduce the subject would be to start saying “we” when you talk about where you're going and what you're doing. If they ask who the “we” is, you can tell them you met a man named “John” a short while ago, that he seems nice, that you are seeing him, etc … Be prepared for questions and don't be defensive. They should be overjoyed at the news you are dating. www.dearabby.com

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WebMD Checkup: 10 Questions About Your Life And Well Being Actor; Jennifer Garner

Question: Have you given any thought to how you’ll teach your kids (who are 8, 5, and 2) about sex?

Jennifer Garner: I’ve given it a lot of thought, especially for my daughters.

I’ve gone to hear specialists talk.

I’ve read books.

It doesn’t mean that I have anything more figured out than anyone else.

I want them to see sex as something joyful, as a gift, as a celebration of love and of their bodies.

And it makes me feel really cool and hip to think of it that way.

Question: Did you ever get “the talk” as a kid?

Ms. Garner: I have the best parents in the world, but no.

We’ve still never addressed it.

I’m waiting for the talk, Mom, Dad! Belinda Luscombe

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Submitted By Jasbir T. Singh on December 17, 2013 - 10:15a.m.

My children will become teenagers before I know it.

This has made me reflect upon what life used to be like as a teenage boy.

After sharing my teenage experiences with my wife, I was surprised to learn that she knew very little about what teenage boys have to go through.

I think many teenage girls could benefit from knowing how the minds of teenage boys work, and how little maturity they have at this stage in their life.

This is what has motivated me to write this letter. Perhaps one day my own daughters will read this when they become teenagers, and I hope it will benefit them.

Dear Teenage Girl: When you start to become interested in teenage boys, and when they become interested in you, it is important that you be aware of some important facts about them.

I hope this letter will help to protect your fragile heart, emotions, and body from getting hurt or being used.

It takes a lot of effort, courage, and perhaps even pain, to go against the hyper- sexualized and immoral secular culture of our time, and so much is at stake.

It can mean the difference between a life of joy and a life of misery. http://jasbirtsingh.blogspot.ca/2013/12/teenage-boys-cant-be-just-friends-with.html (link is external)

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Facts Teenagers Need To Know About Sex As awkward as it may be, educating your daughter about sex can keep her healthy --- and even save her life.

Unfortunately, most teens have different views than their parents when it comes to what constitutes a sex talk. About 90% of parents nationwide say they've spoken to their teens about sex, according to a 2006 ABC News poll.

But something is getting lost in translation, because only half of their teens agree. Here are six facts that every teen should know, along with specific ways to get your point across.

Talking point: Using a condom isn't as effective --- or as easy --- as you think.

Fact: Condoms are almost as effective for preventing pregnancy as the Pill when they are used correctly. Condoms also drastically reduce the chance you'll pick up a sexually transmitted infection --- and you can't tell by how someone looks if they have one.

Additional advice: “A couple may not put on a condom until the last minute,” says Paul Fine, MD, associate professor of gynecology at Baylor College Of Medicine in Houston, “and in the heat of passion, he might not have the control he usually has, so that's never foolproof.”

Besides, you can get pregnant before ejaculation; so-called pre-ejaculate is “loaded with sperm,” says Dr. Fine.

A 2002 study of college students documented typical condom misuse, slippage, and breakage. Of the men surveyed, 40% said that they had failed to leave space for ejaculate at the tip of a condom, for instance, and 15% had taken the condom off before completing intercourse.

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Talking point: If you have unprotected sex or the condom breaks, emergency contraception is an option.

Fact: Plan B is a high-dose birth control pill that is available over-the-counter and can prevent pregnancy if taken within 72 hours, though it is most effective when taken right away.

Additional advice: Many women's health organizations recommend purchasing it before you need it, so that it's readily available if you ever do. Call a doctor, a health clinic, a pharmacy, or a Planned Parenthood office, or place an overnight order from www.drugstore.com

Talking point: Teens and young adults can be at high risk for STD’s.

Fact: Young people ages 15 to 24 represent 25% of the sexually active population- -- but they account for almost 50% of new STD cases, according to a 2006 Centers For Disease Control And Prevention surveillance report.

Additional advice: Depending upon your child's sexual behavior, testing might vary from frequent (once every few months) to occasional (once every two years, in the case of a monogamous relationship, for example).

“Young people ought to get tested once a year for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea,” says H. Hunter Handsfield, MD, a clinical professor of medicine at the University Of Washington and a nationally recognized STD expert who has helped develop HIV testing guidelines for the CDC.

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Talking point: Some STD’s have few or no symptoms.

Fact: Women can have gonorrhea, Chlamydia, hepatitis, HIV, and syphilis without having any obvious symptoms.

Chlamydia is a sexually transmitted bacterial infection that usually starts out with no symptoms but it is very destructive in the long term, especially to women's reproductive systems.

Additional advice: Jeanne Marrazzo, MD, a STD specialist at the University Of Washington medical school, advises annual Chlamydia tests for younger women.

“If you have multiple partners, you may want to be screened more often,” she adds. Since Chlamydia can be detected with a simple urine test now, a full pelvic exam isn't necessary. You can also request a gonorrhea test at the same time, if you are concerned that you may have been exposed.

Talking point: If you're a sexually active adult, you've probably contracted several of the 100 different types of the human papillomavirus (HPV) out there---more than 30 of which are sexually transmitted---and you probably had no idea.

Fact: HPV is the number-one cause of cervical cancer and genital warts.

Additional advice: To screen for possibly HPV-caused, potentially precancerous abnormalities in the cells of the cervix, all women should get annual Pap smears. Women under 26 should also consider getting the HPV vaccination, says Dr. Handsfield.

Talking point: The Pill does more than prevent pregnancy.

Fact: The Pill is so safe and effective these days that it is available over-the- counter in some countries.

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The Birds, The Bees And The Young May 10, 2015 The Wall Street Journal

In her review (“Birds, Bees And Bureaucracies” of Jonathan Zimmerman’s “Too Hot To Handle” May 1st), Naomi Schaefer Riley describes sex education as a “vast apparatus” and “regime.”

But sexuality education is far from being universally available, despite the critical role it has been shown to play in improving public health and social development. Too many governments aren’t yet willing to invest in evidence based comprehensive sexuality education.

A new study published in a Guttmacher Institute journal shows that comprehensive sexuality education that fosters critical thinking on gender norms and human rights is highly effective in reducing adolescent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

In fact, from South Africa to the U.S., the evidence is astounding: 80% of sexuality education programs that address gender and power are associated with a significantly lower rate of sexually transmitted infection or unintended pregnancy.

Research also shows us that sexuality education does not lead to earlier initiation of sexual activity. And we know that despite their parents’ views, many adolescents will become sexually active.

While school isn’t the only venue to reach them, it is a critical opportunity to foster gender equitable attitudes that are associated with positive behaviors and better health outcomes and to present young people with factual information that could have long term impact on their lives.

Susan Wood International Women’s Health Coalition New York

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Sex & Relationships: 6 Things To Say During “The Talk” You really don’t know performance anxiety until you have to talk sex with your kid. Here’s your script May 2015 Men’s Health

“99.9 percent of the time, sex is not about babies.”

When Dan Savage’s son D.J. was 9 years old, he confronted his two dads. “You and Daddy have sex for no reason! Two men can’t make a baby!” That’s when Savage, the author of several sex advice books and arguably America’s most prominent syndicated sex columnist, realized he may have botched the talk.

“I left out the most important part: pleasure,” he says. But those communication fumbles are fine, he learned, as long as you correct them.

Don’t rush it --- but when it happens, use a condom.”

Young people often think good sex is “just something that breaks out, that impulsiveness is evidence of authentic feeling,” says Savage.

They may even feel that actively planning to get into someone’s pants is dirty. “We need to flip that,” he says. If your kids do want their first time to “find them,” warn that it could happen when they’re drunk or lack protection. Stress the importance of having a condom handy and knowing how to put it on

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“If talking to me is too weird, talk to Aunt Claire.”

Don’t be afraid to delegate in a pinch. When Savage and his three siblings were teenagers, their mother appointed aunts to be their confidantes on all matters sexual.

Those relatives were told not to report what they heard back to Savage’s parents. “They weren’t in our lives every day, so we didn’t have to see them constantly,” he says. “It wasn’t like we had to go to an adult who we would have to look in the eye every morning.”

“Whatever you want to watch is your business.”

Yeah, this part of the discussion may feel especially awkward. But your teen is online, so he’s probably seen hours of porn. “Beginner” activities, such as mutual masturbation, aren’t typically emphasized in porn; but advanced, intense sex acts are. A lot of porn also has an undercurrent of anger.

Tell your kids that porn doesn’t represent real life sex. “Teach them to have a critical eye --- to be thoughtful porn consumers,” Savage says.

“Everyone is into different things. I’ll leave it at that.”

“People who are kinky need to know that their life isn’t over because they’re into diapers or whatever,” Savage says. If you’re uncomfortable talking about, say, bondage to your 13 year old, just mention atypical sexual interests when you bring up another must discuss topic: consent.

Savage’s script: “The craziest thing two people want to do together --- if it’s consensual and they take steps to assure their mutual safety --- is fine.”

“Whichever way you lean, I’ll always love you.”

Teenagers are riddled with insecurities --- and sexuality ranks high among them. “Kids have attempted suicide because they assumed their parents would have a problem with their being gay, and the parents actually didn’t, says Savage.

“But the parents never said anything about how they would accept them.” So make some acknowledgment of homosexuality to show you’re OK with it --- and that they should feel the same way. Nick Keppler

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An Rx Of Sound: Physician Uses Hip Hop To Stress Positivity March 25, 2015 Toledo City Paper

If South Toledo physician Dr. Anthony Atkins could issue prescriptions for what really ails many of teen patients, he would not be scribbling out the typical remedies.

His pad would read something like this: “Pull up your damn pants, son.”

“Young ladies, keep your legs closed and don't give it up so quickly.”

“What in the @#% are you doing with a gun?”

Since that may fall beyond the purview of a typical physician's advice --- the Doc created his own conduit for those messages, communicated through hip hop, recruiting rappers from cities like Detroit and New York to record songs to his lyrics, rooted deep in Atkins' medical experience, where the term “at risk” refers to a deadly virus instead of a socio-economic designation.

The 57 year old physician-activist from the west side of Detroit served in the U.S. Air Force before graduating from medical school at Ohio State University, and has since spent his career passionately influencing youth on the perils of being uninformed and uneducated.

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Real problems, real music A long time practitioner in Toledo and Lima, Atkins sees patients with an array of challenging medical concerns, everything from a 15 year old boy's emergency room visit caused by gun violence, to an office visit where a sexually transmitted disease is diagnosed in yes, a 7 year old girl.

“That's when I went on a rampage,” Dr. Atkins said.

“I'm talking to kids in the ER, 'how old are you? Sixteen?

How many baby daddies do you have? Three?

Where the f**k are they? That's when I started Lifestoryz.”

Atkins created Lifestoryz, a self produced, positive message focused hip hop initiative designed to make teenagers comfortable with their life decisions, rather than just blindly and recklessly making choices that lead to lifetime consequences. And by consequences, Atkins means death, jail and unwanted pregnancy.

Lifestoryz: State Of Emergency, a 16 track, 2005 CD release, gained instant credibility due to the popularity of its message and delivery quality. This translated to public speaking opportunities and presentations at area schools for Atkins.

The video for State Of Emergency went viral across www.YouTube.com. The group would eventually open for Grammy winning hip hop and R&B artist Common.

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Getting to the point And while that was a great boost for Lifestoryz, for Atkins, the message needs to be told repeatedly, on a daily basis. “It's what I do. I just talk straight up. Just stop being stupid,” said the physician, who is more comfortable in his Timberlands and skull cap than anything else.

“This is how parents are dumb. They come to me, angry, saying 'I don't think my daughter needs to be seeing pictures of penises with sores on them.”

“Oh really?” I say to them. 'OK. How old is your daughter? Thirteen? What's her name? Tanya?

What I can't say (due to the Federal Health Insurance Portability Accountability Act), but I would love to say is, “Your daughter came to my clinic last week and was treated for gonorrhea.

So, I guess she is doing more than just 'seeing' that imagery from me,” Atkins explained.

“With prevention, I come down harder on the girls, because they are usually the ones stuck with the baby,” Atkins said. “Let's just be honest. That's how it happens.

Atkins is passionate and firm with his disdain for reckless sexual activity, involvement with violence and crime, and a general sense of learned helplessness he sees in the Toledo and Lima communities.

Frankly, he's tired of it. Lifestoryz designated a galvanized pipeline of positive communication to young people through hip hop. Now, Atkins continues to stress the rigors of prevention and common sense.

“To the females, I say 'leave open your brains and your books,” Atkins said.

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“To the males, black and Hispanic: Stop drawing negative attention to yourself. You are emulating the wrong people.”

“I am about prevention,” he said. “Where are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson when the prevention rally is going on? You don't need a big rally or march after the fact. Open sores on the genitals of 11 year old girls. Where is the rally to prevent that?”

Dr. Anthony Atkins is a family practice physician. He sees patients at Primary Care Network, 1421 S. Reynolds in South Toledo 419-725-6290.

He also works out of Northwest Ohio Urgent Care 1015 Conant Street, Maumee 419-891-0525. Lifestoryz tracks are available at www.myspace.com/lifestoryz

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Police Investigating Sex Offense June 10, 2015 The Register

Sandusky police are investigating an alleged sex offense between a 19 year old local man and a 13 year old girl.

The girl had stayed with a friend while she was visiting the area, and she met the 19 year old through that friend, Sandusky police Detective Ken Nixon said.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Boy 15, obstruction 3: 05 a.m. 1400 block West Monroe Street Tuesday July 15

Runaway girl found hiding in boy’s home; he at first claimed she wasn’t there.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Girl, 15, unruly juvenile charge pending 11: 01 p.m. 1000 block Pearl Street Thursday March 18

Girl left home late at night after mother told her not to; mother later learned she left with older boy.

Police Blotter: Erie County Sheriff 3: 24 p.m. 2700 block Camp Road, Huron Thursday April 25

Car parked by Ohio Edison building, didn't have Ohio Edison logo; on further investigation deputies spotted two nude people rolling around in car. Deputies told them to get dressed and called the girl's father.

Police Blotter: Perkins Police 12: 06 a.m. 4200 block Autumn Ridge Lane Sunday May 17

Boy and girl moving around in backseat of parked car. Officer called their parents.

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Second Look: New Views On Week's Top Talkers August 23, 2013 USA Today

Irresponsible parenting Parents who would encourage a 14 year old to live with a boyfriend in their home should be reported to the Department Of Children And Family Services without delay (“Should Parents Allow Romantic Sleepovers?” Your Say, Wednesday).

Child endangerment and neglect charges should be filed immediately against any irresponsible parent who does not realize the complications of sexual relationships for a child who is in eighth grade!

A condom cannot protect the heart and soul. Parents, churches and schools need to step up and teach our children the best way to go, and it is not sleeping around when you can't even smoke, drink, drive or marry. What are these people thinking? Dianne Kinzer

Sex Education Should Begin Before Kids Start To Experiment

Dear Abby: I know you provide a booklet to help teen with questions about sex. But when should I talk to my son or give him a copy? He will turn 9 soon. I know that is young, but kids today are exposed to so much so early. Kristen In Maryland

Dear Kristen: You’re absolutely right; they are. They also mature earlier than children of previous generations. That’s why it is so important for parents --- and guardians --- to begin discussing subjects like alcohol, drugs, sex and family values well before their children start experimenting. So talk to your son now.

Do not be shocked if he tells you he has already heard it all from contemporaries. If he has, ask him to tell you what he knows, because what he heard may be inaccurate, and it will give you a chance to correct any misinformation.

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My booklet “What Every Teen Should Know” can help to start the conversation. It has been distributed in doctors’ offices and by educators and religious leaders, as well as parents like you who may find it uncomfortable to discuss these topics with their children.

It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby Teen Booklet P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL. 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

Before giving your son the booklet, first read it yourself. The more information you can provide, the better prepared your son will be to make informed choices in the future. www.dearabby.com

Police Blotter: Erie County Sheriff 7: 03 p.m. 2900 block Huron Avery Road Wednesday December 9

Classmates told Sandusky teen they’d burn down his girlfriend’s home, and sexually assault her.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 6: 30 p.m. Seavers Way and Hayes Avenue Wednesday December 9

Classmates’ added teen’s girlfriend on Face book, told him they were going to rape her.

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Grade School Talk About Sex Needs Guidance From Parents

Dear Abby: My daughter is in fifth grade at a very small, rural school. She’s outgoing and makes friends easily.

My problem is, when she comes home from school, she tells my husband and me about the conversations the other fifth grade girls are having. Most of them involve boys. However, recently the conversations are about sex and things these girls say they want boys to do to them, which include rape.

My husband and I are appalled. My daughter knows that it’s not appropriate to discuss these topics, but she is forced by these girls to listen. What should we do?

Should we discuss this with the other parents involved? Please help. Concerned Parent In Oklahoma

Dear Concerned: While discussing sexual matters may not seem appropriate to you, that’s what some children in grammar school do.

The problem, however, is that a lot of misinformation can be transmitted among them. Be glad your daughter trusts you enough that she’s willing to tell you what is being said.

If this was my daughter and I had not yet had “the talk” with her, I would waste no time in initiating it.

Her classmates may say some of the things they do for shock value and have no concept about the violence and physical and emotional damage that a rapist can inflict.

Not only should you bring this to the attention of the parents of these classmates, also talk to the school principal. (Could these girls have been exposed to rape, pornographic movies, etc …?)

The best way to combat screwed up thinking like this is through frank, open discussion and education. www.dearabby.com

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Your Child’s Health: Television And Teen Pregnancies

Experts say talking frankly to your kids about sex and keeping a close eye on their friends and extracurricular activities are key ways to help prevent pregnancies.

Now, a new study reveals another potential factor: TV teens who watched the most television with sexual content were twice as likely to be involved in a pregnancy during the following three years as those who watched the least, according to a recent Rand Corporation survey of roughly 2, 000 kids ages 12 through 17.

Banning Gossip Girl may be unrealistic, but lead researcher and behavioral scientist Anita Chandra, PhD, says it helps if parents “get smart about the TV shows their kids are seeing and watch with them.” Dr. Chandra recommends visiting the websites of organizations that monitor these shows content, like Common Sense Media www.commonsensemedia.org

“Watching with your teen can create opportunities to talk about sex, its emotional and physical consequences, and the risks and responsibilities associated with it,” Dr. Chandra says.

“And the more you know about the shows beforehand, the more prepared you’ll be able to talk to your teen about it,”

You can start a discussion about how the characters are dealing with the issue --- say, “So what do you think of so and so’s decision to have (or not to have) sex with her boyfriend?” Madonna Behen

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Being A Teen Mom 'More Difficult Than People Think' July 13, 2013 The Register

“It's a lot more difficult than people think,” 19 year old Corrine Engel said during a recent interview. “I'm not with the father. I'm not able to see my friends. I'm not able to work. Just trying to find baby sitters so I can get things done is tough.”

Birth control Erie County's plunging teenage birth rate could be partly attributed to better access to birth control, said Dr. Laurie Rousseau, a Berlin Heights family medicine physician affiliated with Firelands Regional Medical Center.

“Access is probably improved due to increased education about how and where to obtain birth control,” Rousseau said. “Within the past 10 years, the cost of birth control has become much more affordable for those who do not have insurance or if their plan doesn't cover birth control.”

Case in point: A variety of generic prescription oral contraceptives can be purchased for about $9 a month at most convenience stores and pharmacies, Rousseau said.

And while it's cheap and effective, birth control is also relatively safe, Rousseau said. Most birth control medicines, however, require a prescription from a health care professional. But condoms can be purchased over the counter at most pharmacies and convenience stores.

“When used consistently and correctly, they are an excellent form of birth control,” Rousseau said about condoms. Andy Ouriel

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IUD’s Implants Are Best Birth Control Methods For Teenagers October 1, 2012 The Blade (Associated Press)

Chicago --- Teenage girls might prefer the pill, the patch, or even wishful thinking, but their doctors should be recommending IUD’s or hormonal implants --- long lasting and more effective birth control that you don’t have to remember to use every time, the nation’s leading gynecologists group said recently.

The IUD and implants are safe and nearly 100 percent effective at preventing pregnancy, and should be “first line recommendations,” the American College Of Obstetricians And Gynecologists said in updating its guidance for teens.

Both types of contraception are more invasive than the pill, requiring a doctor to put them in place. That, and cost, are probably why the pill is still the most popular form of contraception in the United States.

But birth control pills often must be taken at the very same time every day to be most potent.

And forgetting to take even one can lead to pregnancy, which is why the pill is sometimes only 91 percent effective. Lindsey Tanner

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In Control Reviewed By: Brunilda Nazario, MD WebMD Lead Medical Editor October 2012 WebMD the Magazine

Forget about it! If you want “forgettable” birth control, you might choose an intrauterine device (IUD) or implant.

Hormonal IUD What it is: Hormonal IUD

How it works: A small amount of a progestin (a synthetic form of the female hormone progesterone) is released every day, which thins the lining of the uterus and thickens cervical mucus, acting as a barrier to prevent sperm from entering the uterus.

Effective rate: 99%

Drawbacks: The hormonal IUD can cause irregular bleeding for the first few months of use, but that typically decreases by the fourth month, Nelson says

Benefits: Menstrual bleeding is usually less heavy with a hormonal IUD. In fact, about one in five women will stop menstruating within a year of beginning use, which is medically fine and often beneficial for those who have heavy periods, Whitaker says. The IUD may protect against endometrial and cervical cancers.

Side effects: Some women may have side effects caused by the hormones, such as headaches, nausea, and breast tenderness, but this is rare, says Whitaker.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 5: 29 p.m. 1100 block Cleveland Road Wednesday June 18

Couple tried to steal a pregnancy test, returned it when employee called them out.

Book Challenges Stereotypes Of Poor Fathers June 12, 2013 The Toledo Journal

Across the political spectrum, unwed fatherhood is viewed as the scourge of American society with inner city fathers often dismissed as “dead beat dads.”

Scholars Kathryn Edin and Timothy J. Nelson say the significant economic and cultural shifts that have transformed society at large also have revolutionized the meaning of fatherhood and family life among the urban poor.

In their new book, Doing The Best I Can: Fatherhood In The Inner City, the Authors take a comprehensive look at fatherhood and examine how couples in financially challenging circumstances come together and get pregnant quickly without planning.

It outlines obstacles faced by low income men in the familial process --- from difficulties in their romantic relationships to the dilemmas at conception to the celebratory moments surrounding the birth of a child to the hardships that accompany raising and providing for a child in its early years.

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Fatherhood At Young Age Can Lead To Death At Middle Age September 7, 2015 The Press

Researcher’s study 30, 500 men Any man who holds his sleeping, helpless newborn in his arms knows the enormity of the task ahead of him: Make money

Teach independence

Serve as a role model

Imprint a moral code

Encourage participation in activities that teach discipline, teamwork, sharing and leadership

Most importantly, work with a partner to instill a certain set of life skills that will allow that newborn to develop into an adult who can compete and contribute to society.

To be sure, some fathers get lost along the way.

Some think they are raising a drinking buddy

Others have the misguided notion they are cloning themselves.

But, with few exceptions, a father wants to raise a child to be better than himself, to have what he didn’t have and to avoid the mistakes he made.

So, it should come as no surprise a recent Finnish study concluded that men who become fathers before age 25 have a higher risk of dying when they reach middle age.

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Fatherhood is not a job for boys.

The study, which was published this summer by researchers at the University Of Helsinki, concluded the stress and financial burden of raising a child increases the risk of heart and alcohol related diseases when those young fathers reach ages 45-54.

Researchers tracked 30, 500 men born between 1940 and 1950. Men who had their first child before age 22 had a 26 percent higher risk of death than men who fathered their first child at age 25. On the other hand, men who became fathers between the ages of 30 and 44 had a 25 percent lower risk of death in middle age.

The study concludes that the stress of providing financial support so early in life restricted a young father’s ability to invest in his education or attain marketable job skills.

In addition, the burden of fatherhood can retard a young man’s desire for adventure and self exploration, which can lead to depression and the normal pathologies a depressed man indulges in --- alcohol, drugs and other forms of escapism.

While the study suggests a casual relationship between fatherhood at an early age and death at an early age, I suspect the burdens of fatherhood are not the only reasons for an early demise. I suspect poor choices. One such choice can lead to a litany of poor choices.

Take drug use, for instance. Accomplishments in career, education and hobbies result from the hard work it takes to achieve them. These achievements lead to a sense of self esteem and satisfaction with life.

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A drug high, which takes little effort, can provide a few moments of satisfaction. The user receives the benefit without the work, so he delays his development and makes poor choices after poor choice to feed his habit.

One poor choice made without realizing its ramifications can also lead to a lifetime of limited options.

Take driving while intoxicated. The billboard campaign a few years ago showed a young man taking a breathalyzer test. Under it was the caption “You just blew $10, 000.”

You will find few young men who believe this. However, after paying to have your car towed and stored, attorney fees, court fines and costs, court ordered education classes, license reinstatement fees, an ignition interlock system, “party plates,” and higher insurance rates you could easily blow past that $10, 000 figure.

In fact, two years ago, an experienced DUI attorney I consulted for a column, pegged the total at $14, 762.

That’s a big hole for a young father to dig out of working for a little more than minimum wage and paying for diapers, pack n plays, bassinets, cribs, swings, jump ups, walkers and later sports, music lessons or an education.

If researchers look deeper, I think they will find a young man who becomes a father when he is not mature enough or financially stable enough to handle the job has compiled a history of bad choices.

On the other hand, if he hasn’t screwed up too bad, when he holds that sleeping, helpless newborn in his arms, he will discover that natural calling to protect and nurture and he will wake up each morning with these words from Spike Lee reverberating in his head, “Do the right thing.” John Szozda

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Citywide Baby Shower At Polly Fox Academy Reaches Out To Pregnant And Parenting Teens August 3, 2012 La Prensa-Ohio

The Academy is free of charge to all pregnant and parenting teenage girls in northwest Ohio. Its mission is to help young mothers graduate and achieve financial independence so they can support themselves and their children.

Besides the usual high school curriculum, Polly Fox offers classes that prepare students to cope with the special challenges that face teenage mothers. 419-720-4593

Book: The Orchardist By: Amanda Coplin To what extent are we responsible for the people around us?

It is the late 1800’s in the American West. Tallmadge, who has been tending his groves alone in the decades since his sister’s mysterious disappearance, discovers two feral pregnant girls stealing his fruit.

Rather than chase them off, he feeds them and prepares beds made of leaves.

All is calm until the girls’ fraught past forces its way into the orchard. Talmadge will spend the rest of his life trying to atone for how he believes he failed one of them on that crucial day.

“He has got it into his mind that he is to be the savior of that girl, and it won’t let him alone.

He is going to die of it,” says Caroline Middey, the local midwife and Talmadge’s confidante.

A novel of missed opportunity, courage and revenge, Amanda Coplin’s debut, The Orchardist (Harper Collins), gathers quietly like a storm, rages and then recedes, leaving the reader shaken yet standing in a place of calm. Katherine Dykstra

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State By State: March 15, 2013 USA Today Compiled By: Robert Robinson & Dennis Lyons

Connecticut, Hartford --- An infant boy has been given up at a hospital in New London under the state's “safe haven” law, which protects parents from being prosecuted for abandonment. The boy is staying in a foster home and will be put up for adoption.

Sandusky Diary March 12, 2016 The Register

25 years ago, 1991: A Sandusky man discovered a full term newborn baby girl in the front seat of his pickup truck, Perkins police said.

The 6 pound, 8 ounce baby was found wrapped in a towel. Perkins Rescue Squad rushed the baby to Firelands, where doctors worked to stabilize her. Her body temperature was just 84 degrees.

Polish Troops Find Baby On Afghan Road September 21, 2012 The Blade

Warsaw --- Polish troops on patrol in southern Afghanistan have found a newborn baby abandoned on the side of the road.

The towel wrapped girl was found Wednesday by soldiers who were checking the safety of a route near their Waghez military base, according to Defense Minister spokesman Janusz Walczak. It was unclear who had left the baby there and why.

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Teen Gave Birth To Baby Found Dead In Car Trunk July 25, 2013 The Register

An Ohio police chief said a 17 year old girl told officers she was the one who gave birth to a baby whose remains were found in the trunk of a car at a repair shop.

Shelby police Chief Charlie Roub said the girl told investigators Tuesday night she didn't know she was pregnant and gave birth at home in late January or early February. The Mansfield News Journal reported the infant's body was inside a copy paper box in the trunk of the car taken to the repair shop in northern Ohio. Investigators said a mechanic found the infant's body after noticing an odor coming from the trunk Tuesday.

Ex Student Found Guilty Of Killing Baby May 14, 2016 The Register (Associated Press)

Zanesville, Ohio --- A former college student accused of giving birth in a sorority house bathroom and killing her baby girl by disposing of her in a trash bag was found guilty of murder on Friday.

A jury issued a quick verdict finding 21 year old Emile Weaver guilty of aggravated murder, abuse of a corpse and tampering with evidence. Prosecutors argued Weaver purposefully caused the death of her newborn daughter after giving birth in a bathroom at the Delta Gamma Theta sorority at Muskingum University on April 22, 2015.

They said the baby girl died from asphyxiation after Weaver put her in a plastic trash bag and left it outside the sorority house. Weaver testified Friday she had been in denial about the pregnancy and thought the baby was already dead when she discarded the trash bag. She pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity, but a judge ruled she was mentally competent.

Hours after disposing of the baby, Weaver texted the man she thought was the father and said “no more baby,” and the situation had been “taken care of.” She told him she had gone into labor the night before but the baby died of complications.

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2 Arrested After Baby’s Body Found In Freezer

Kenisha Pruitt, 20, and Antonio Cervantes, 18, are in Lucas County jail charged with child endangerment.

The woman charged with child endangering after the discovery of a frozen infant corpse in a freezer was shown to have given birth on Feb. 9th, 2011, to a girl, although it is unclear whether the baby in the freezer is the same child

Kenisha Pruitt, one of two people who were arrested on charges of child endangering, gave birth in Toledo Hospital, according to birth records published in The Blade on Feb. 11th, 2011.

Ms. Pruitt, 20, of 2631 Scottwood Ave., and Antonio Cervantes, 18, of 5324 Rector St., were being held in the Lucas County jail, awaiting arraignments in Toledo Municipal Court on Monday.

Police spokesman Sgt. Joe Heffernan had said Saturday investigators did not know the infant’s approximate age, other than to describe her as “very young.” He could not be reached for further comment on Sunday.

Sergeant Heffernan said more charges were possible against the pair once an autopsy was performed. The frozen corpse was discovered by the landlord, who was cleaning the house at 116 Paine Ave. after renters had moved out.

Officers were sent to the house at 8 p.m. Friday. In a court affidavit signed by Toledo police Detective Lawrence Anderson, family members told police Ms. Pruitt was thought to be pregnant in November, but no birth was ever reported. The dead baby “appeared to have been a full-term birth,” the affidavit said.

The Lucas County Coroner’s Office said an autopsy was planned Monday, once the body has thawed out from refrigeration.

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50 States, 50 Babies, 50 Dumpsters

It’s hard to imagine a crime grislier and more depressing than disposing of one’s newborn infant in the trash.

Pioneering hip-hop group Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, who dealt with all sorts of unpleasant subject matter, zeroed in on the topic in their 1983 single “New York, New York”: The sky was crying, rain and hail

When you put your baby in the garbage pail Then you kissed the kid and put down the lid

And you tried to forget what you just did, Huh! The muffled screams of a dying baby

Was enough to drive the young mother crazy So she ran in the rain trying to ease the pain

Huh huh, And she drove herself insane

One can rationalize why it happens --- poverty, depression, insanity, negligence, or a gruesome sense of entitled irresponsibility --- but the practice became so prevalent that most states enacted “Safe Haven” laws that allow parents to drop off their newborn children at places such as hospitals and police stations without legal repercussions.

Most of the following cases involve newborn infants, both living and dead, who were disposed of by their parents, most often their mothers.

Not every case involves Dumpsters --- yes, the word is capitalized because it’s a brand name --- but most involve garbage receptacles of one sort or another.

The idea of “Dumpster Babies” is so prevalent that it has become a cliché, so I decided to run with it.

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1. Alabama

In 2008, a 19-year-old girl in Birmingham reported to police that she delivered a stillborn baby and placed it in a Dumpster.

2. Alaska

In 2013 a female Army Specialist allegedly gave birth to a girl without medical assistance and abandoned it while still alive in a public park north of Anchorage. A dog-walker discovered the infant and notified police. The baby was dead when police arrived.

3. Arizona

Allegedly seeking to hide her pregnancy from her husband --- who had undergone a vasectomy five years previously --- a 28-year-old woman in Scottsdale, AZ held her newborn baby under water until it was dead, placed it in a plastic bag, and drove with her three children to a gas station, where she dumped the bag into a trash can. The incident happened in 2007.

4. Arkansas

In 2014 in Altheimer, AR, 22-year-old Brittany Cole was accused of arguing with her child’s father about how she no longer wanted to care for her nine-month-old baby, whereupon she ran out of the house and dumped him in a garbage bin.

5. California

In September 2013, a dead baby boy was found in a Dumpster near his mother’s house in South El Monte, CA. When police interviewed the mother, she claimed that she had dropped him off at the hospital rather than dumping him in the garbage, but local hospitals reported “no record of a baby being voluntarily surrendered.”

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6. Colorado

In December 2012 in Colorado Springs, a passerby found a dead baby in a trash can with the umbilical cord still attached and its hair “kind of sticky.” The baby was still alive and was apparently still dressed in its blue hospital gown.

7. Connecticut

Early in January 2012 with the streets covered in snow, a dead baby was found in a Dumpster in the town of Huntleigh. It was wrapped in jeans and reportedly placed there by its 13-year-old mother. The Dumpster was only a two-minute drive from a police station, where the baby’s mother could have legally surrendered it while still alive.

8. Delaware

Amy Grossberg and her boyfriend Brian Peterson delivered their baby together in a Comfort Inn motel in Newark, DE one day in November 1996. Peterson threw the baby in a nearby Dumpster and they both wound up serving prison sentences.

9. Florida

In the summer of 2014, Maria Castillo of Brooksville, FL was accused of giving birth to a baby in a shower, then placing it in a trash bag in her bedroom in a way that concealed it from view. When police responded to a 911 call, the infant was already dead.

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10. Georgia

During a 12-hour shift in January 2002, a Savannah trash-truck driver spotted a baby’s hands moving around amid garbage in a Dumpster. He saved her mere seconds before lifting the Dumpster and emptying the garbage into the back of his truck, where she would have been squashed to death under 100,000 pounds of pressure.

11. Hawaii

In January 2013 at a park in Honolulu, a man who was collecting recyclables found an infant that had been placed in a box and dumped in a garbage can. The male baby had been “carefully wrapped” in paper towels and the box had been inscribed with the words “love,” “forever,” and the phrase “forget me not.” It is unknown whether it was a stillborn fetus or a baby that had been murdered at birth.

12. Idaho

In October 2000, a 65-year-old man in Idaho Falls discovered a dead infant in a Dumpster behind an apartment complex. The baby’s umbilical cord was still attached. It is thought that the child’s 18-year-old mother had tried to conceal her pregnancy from relatives before she allegedly gave birth and disposed of her spawn.

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13. Illinois

Acting on a tip from a doctor, police in 2012 found a prematurely born baby dead in a trash bin at a mall outside Chicago. The infant’s mother allegedly put the infant in a trash bag, placed it in her trunk, went to school, and then disposed of the baby before going to her job at the mall.

14. Indiana

Thirty-two-year old Purvi Patel of Mishawaka, IN, was charged with feticide after she went to a hospital for treatment, claiming she had given birth to child. Hospital workers became suspicious because the child was not with her at the time; it was found in a Dumpster behind a shopping center that included a Babies “R” Us store.

15. Iowa

A resident of the small town of Greenfield found a newborn boy’s corpse in a metal trash can near an alley in 2002. The infant was thought to have been murdered by his mother, a high-school junior.

16. Kansas

When a 17-year-old Wichita girl went to the hospital with unexplained bleeding, workers were able to determine she had given birth a week prior, then placed her infant in a trash can at a local mall.

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17. Kentucky

In the summer of 2010, a Louisville woman noticed a large clump of newspaper moving next to a Dumpster. Wrapped inside the newspaper was a live male infant estimated to be around two days old.

18. Louisiana

In February 2014, Joann King of Baton Rouge was sentenced to 12 years in prison after finally admitting to a 2002 incident in which she had given birth, dropped the baby on its head, and disposed of its corpse in a Dumpster. The infant was found with a crushed skull.

19. Maine

A security guard in the town of Castine found a dead infant in a Dumpster behind a dormitory at the Maine Maritime Academy in 1990.

20. Maryland

During the winter of 2012, a woman in the town of Bel Air told police that she’d delivered a stillborn child, wrapped its corpse in a plastic bag, and threw in a Dumpster.

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21. Massachusetts

In April of 2006, alleged alcoholic Amanda Harris of Westfield, MA, gave birth to a son in her apartment bathroom, shoved his head into a cereal box, wrapped him in a bath mat, placed him inside two bags, and tossed the bag into a Dumpster. She received a prison sentence of only two and a half years.

22. Michigan

One morning in the Detroit winter of 1963, someone discovered a newborn male infant in a snow-covered Dumpster. The infant was still breathing but was turning blue. When he arrived at the hospital, his body temperature was so low it did not register on thermometers. He survived.

23. Minnesota

Seventeen-year-old Nicole Marie Beecroft in the town of Stillwater gave birth to a daughter in the laundry room of her house then stabbed her 135 times before disposing of the carcass in a garbage can outside her home. She was found guilty and given a life sentence

24. Mississippi

In early 2014, 25-year-old Cora Watkins allegedly delivered a baby by herself, wrapped him in a blanket, dropped him in a storage shed, and went to work. The baby was found alive by local children who heard it crying. Watkins had previously served jail time for abandoning another one of her infants at a Salvation Army.

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25. Missouri

In 2008, a St. Louis man who was emptying yard waste heard an infant’s cries and discovered a newborn baby in a Dumpster. Its umbilical cord was still attached. The baby was taken to a local hospital and given a good prognosis.

26. Montana

In a trash can outside a Billings bowling alley “under a full, cold moon” in March 1999, a live infant was discovered and taken to a local hospital. She survived and was named Grace.

27. Nebraska

A woman in Omaha heard an infant’s cries in May of 2007 and found a black male infant wrapped in two shirts and a “Total Rewards” bag between a Dumpster and a broken television set. The infant, less than a day old, was rushed to a local hospital and survived.

28. Nevada

In October 2013 outside the Planet Hollywood hotel and casino in Las Vegas, workers who were sorting recyclables discovered a dead infant in a Dumpster. It was not known at the time of discovery whether the infant had been born alive or was stillborn.

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29. New Hampshire

In the middle of the night in May 2012, a newborn male was dropped off at a hospital in the town of Portsmouth, NH. Police were investigating whether a crime had been committed, since technically hospitals are “safe havens” according to state law.

This is perhaps the least grisly case on the entire list, so I’ll compensate by noting that in 2008, police found a dead baby in a black trash bag on New Hampshire Avenue in Takoma Park, MD. Yes, I realize that’s not technically New Hampshire. If you’ve ever visited some of the seedier parts of that tiny New England state, you’d think there’d be a Dumpster baby on every block.

30. New Jersey

In 2013 in Jersey City, teenagers hanging outside an apartment complex heard rustling coming from a Dumpster and discovered a male infant wrapped in a trash bag with tissues stuffed in his nose, presumably to make him suffocate. The baby was covered in garbage and his umbilical cord was still attached. He survived.

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31. New Mexico

On November 7th, 1947, a group of boys playing in Albuquerque discovered a dead female baby in a box. She had died of exposure. The previous day, another female infant had been discovered in Albuquerque. She had been “strangled and burned in a trash can.”

32. New York

While sorting through garbage in December 2011, a Manhattan apartment-building superintendent discovered a dead male baby. The infant’s 20-year-old mother was charged with “self-abortion” after “reportedly drinking an herbal concoction to end her pregnancy.” She had been carrying the fetus for at least six months and possibly longer.

33. North Carolina

In 2007, a homeless man found the cadaver of a dead male infant who had been born alive and was then murdered, placed inside “a yellow plastic Cheetos bucket,” and discarded in a Dumpster in the town of Rocky Mount.

34. North Dakota

In 1999, Diana Deegan of the Fort Berthold Indian Reservation gave birth to a male infant who came to be known as “Baby Moses.” She diapered, dressed, and fed him, then wrapped him in a blanket and placed him in a basket.

She then left her house and didn’t return until two weeks later, at which point the boy was dead. She then placed him in a suitcase and tossed him in a ditch. Deegan was convicted of second-degree murder and received a prison sentence of ten years and one month.

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35. Ohio

In October 2013 the Cleveland mother of a one-year-old girl and a four-year-old boy allegedly told a neighbor that she intended to “duct-tape the kids and was sick of them.” She tossed her female toddler into a garbage can. Police were notified and rescued the child. The mother was arrested all while insisting she was a “good mom.”

36. Oklahoma

In 1991, Oklahoma City resident Gayle Heather Hoey was charged with child abandonment and attempted murder after reportedly placing her male infant --- who was less than one hour old --- into a garbage bag, tying a double knot, and throwing him in a Dumpster outside an apartment building. A passerby heard the infant’s wails and rescued him, whereupon he was delivered to his father’s custody.

37. Oregon

Late in 2013 a dead six-month-old baby was found in a Dumpster outside a Budget Inn in Gladstone, OR.

A man and a woman had checked into the motel with the baby earlier in the week but checked out without the child. A staff member reports finding bloody baby clothing in their room. A motel resident named Jennifer Dalbey claims to have observed the man and woman fighting while at the motel. She interrupted the fight, and after the man left, she says the woman told her, “I wish I could tell you what he did. He’s sick. He’s a sick dude … He killed my baby. He suffocated my baby with blankets.” Dalbey drove the woman to a police station.

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38. Pennsylvania

Twenty-year-old Karen Mako, a female college student at Clarion University, gave birth to a male baby in a dormitory shower in October, 2002. She then wrapped him in paper towels, shoved him into a duffel bag, and tossed him into a Dumpster. She was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and was sentenced to two years in prison.

39. Rhode Island

In the summer of 2002, a Providence woman named Martha Cedeno discovered that a newborn male had been placed in a cardboard box and left in her driveway. She rescued him and delivered him to a local hospital.

40. South Carolina

In Greenville, SC early in 2014, a man noticed a trail of blood leading to a trash can in which had been placed a live newborn male inside a plastic grocery bag that had been wrapped in a pink blanket. The baby’s mother, Sharon Ferguson, was apprehended outside a liquor store and taken in for questioning. Ferguson’s son survived the ordeal, and she was charged with attempted murder.

41. South Dakota

A garbage collector in Rapid City discovered a “suspicious container” inside a Dumpster in the summer of 1999. Inside the container was a dead baby.

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42. Tennessee

One morning in October 2013, a pair of joggers in the town of Bartlett discovered a dead infant inside a bag located behind a business Dumpster.

43. Texas

In the spring of 2004, a 24-year-old woman in the town of Durant gave birth to a female infant inside the apartment of a friend. She then placed its corpse in a plastic bag, stored it in a closet for two weeks, and finally threw the remains in a Dumpster.

44. Utah

In May of 1993, a mildly retarded 16-year-old gave birth to a child and placed it inside a trash bin outside a nursing home in the Salt Lake area. She reportedly had been raped nine months earlier.

45. Vermont

In 1996 in the town of Poultney, 18-year-old Eula Dickerson delivered a four- pound male infant in a friend’s dorm room. A student later heard the baby crying in a dormitory wastebasket and rescued him.

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46. Virginia

Last May, Richmond police arrested 27-year-old ShaVaughn Robinson and charged her with felony concealment after she allegedly wrapped her newborn girl in plastic and tossed her in a Dumpster. The child was already dead when it was discovered.

47. Washington

State authorities combed through an estimated 60 tons of trash before finally discovering the remains of a baby boy who was thought to have been killed on December 30th, 2009 and then dumped in a garbage can by his 16-year-old mother. The trash was picked up day after the infant’s suspected murder and delivered 80 miles from where the infant’s mother was living in Port Angeles.

48. West Virginia

In 1986 a dead male infant with his umbilical cord still attached was found inside a Dumpster at a landfill in Preston County. The police determined it was a homicide.

49. Wisconsin

Mere moments after giving birth in a restaurant bathroom in August 2010, Breanna Gering fetched her baby daughter out of the toilet, placed her in a plastic bag, and went behind the restaurant to dispose of the child in a Dumpster, where she died of asphyxiation. Gering was sentenced to nine years in prison.

50. Wyoming

In April 2014, a Cheyenne woman was charged with murder after she allegedly killed her newborn male infant and tossed him into a ditch. Jim Goad

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Dear Annie: I have a 2 year old son whom I love very much and wouldn't give up for anything in the world, but I had him when I was 17 years old. I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't become pregnant.

To all the parents of teens out there, it is better to be open about sex than to expect your child to be abstinent. When I was 16 and in love for the first time, I thought my relationship with my child's father would last forever.

I was afraid to talk to my mom about birth control, because she expected me to wait until marriage.

But rampant hormones and a desire to be accepted often outweigh parents' expectations. Please, talk to your kids. Teach them about STD’s and pregnancy. Let them know it's OK to be frank. I don't regret losing what should have been the most fun years of my life. Too Late Smart

Dear Too Late: Thank you for making it clear how important it is for parents to discuss sex, and all the repercussions, with their children. Children must feel secure talking to the adults in their lives and know they will not be dismissed, punished, or judged for bringing up any subject. [email protected]

Your Voice On The Street: Stephanie Szozda What advice would you give your younger self?

Shannon Aikman (Oak Harbor) “Don’t have kids at an early age. I had mine at 16. I have no regrets but I just wish I would have waited a little longer.”

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Book: Wake Up And Smell The Coffee By: Ann Landers

Back in 1959, I advised a young girl not to marry. She was pregnant, and her parents were urging her to wed a very reluctant boy.

Here's what my readers said: Dear Ann Landers: Do you believe in fate? Well, I do --- now.

That letter in your column on whether or not a young man should be forced to marry a girl appeared just in time to decide a crushing problem for us. Now, we feel we're doing exactly the right thing.

Your words “an unwilling groom makes a poor husband” made a lot of sense. When we showed it to our daughter, she said, “Ann's right. I know in my heart Nick doesn't want to marry me. That settles it.”

You'll never know what a favor you did for us, Ann Landers. For the first time in months, there is peace and contentment in our home.

The baby will be put up for adoption through an agency, and our daughter will start life over in another city. God Bless you. Grateful Folks

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Book: Wake Up And Smell The Coffee By: Ann Landers

Dear Ann Landers: I was one of those foolish girls who let my folks push me into marriage because I was in a family way at 17.

My boyfriend told me if he was forced to marry me, he'd make me sorry. He's kept his word.

He has told our son, who is now 9, that he had to marry me and has warned the boy against getting mixed up with a woman like his mother. The poor child is too young to know what he’s talking about, but he'll know someday. I've had to work since the boy was 5 weeks old because my husband says his money belongs to him. Our religion is against divorce. My life is ruined and I'm only 26.

Your advice is excellent, but it came too late for me. Miserable

Book: Married To The Ice Man By: Barbara Kuklinski

Barbara fell pregnant and fled New Jersey but incredibly her mother told Kuklinski --- who had divorced his wife --- where she was hiding, because she didn’t want her daughter to raise her child alone.

Feeling she had no option, Barbara reluctantly married Richard in 1962.

She said: “That was the worst day of my life. I should have thrown myself in the ocean and drowned rather than marry Richard.”

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Girl, 17, 7: 37 p.m. 1000 block Carr Street Wednesday April 22

Mother said 17 year old daughter was smoking marijuana and using amphetamines. Girl tried to strike mother during argument, so mother took the teen’s infant to a relative’s home to keep the child safe.

Teen threatened to report mother as having kidnapped the baby.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 10: 44 a.m. 600 block Columbus Avenue Thursday December 10

Teen said she was pregnant and man pushed her. Prosecutor reviewing case for possible charges.

TV’s Biggest Jerk: 16 And Pregnant

After daughter Aubree’s birth on MTV’s March 9th episode, Adam made his Face book status “Chelsea is such a whore.” And in a text to the new mom, he called her a “fat stretch mark bitch.”

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 8: 22 a.m. 100 block West Cowdery Street Sunday June 12

Couple fought while infant was present.

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Police Blotter: Port Clinton Police 8: 56 p.m. 200 block Buckeye Blvd Tuesday July 2

Man threw diaper bag at woman.

Mom Talk Radio Join the conversation Moms with kids of multiple ages www.momster.com/fc/pregnantdaughter www.momster.com/group www.momswithkidsofmultipleages

Conversations You May Never Hear … April 25, 2012 The Sojourner’s Truth

“Too many teenage girls walking around with their bellies ballooning out and about to give birth to another generation of kids who could have a tough time making it, with their personhood intact, to adulthood.” Lafe Tolliver Esq. (Guest Column)

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How To Communicate With Your Teenager January 2013 Awake!

The quest for independence To become a responsible adult, your teenager must, in a figurative sense, gradually move from the passenger seat to the driver's seat and learn to navigate life's treacherous roadways.

Of course, some teenagers want more freedom than they should have; on the other hand, some parents grant less freedom than they could. The tug of war that may result can create considerable turmoil for parents and teens.

“My parents try to micromanage every aspect of my life,” complains 16 year old Brad. If they don't give me more freedom by the time I turn 18, I'm moving out!”

The Shocking Unbelievable Truth About Everything December 2010 Men’s Health

The Myth: Be his parent, not his friend

The Truth: It’s all in the timing. Lay down the law if he takes your Norelco to the family Labrador, because he needs (and wants) limits. But pick a time when he commits a misdemeanor to show some love, affection, and even goofiness, says Cohen.

You’ll build closeness and influence. “They’ll actually confide in you more because they’ll know you won’t automatically flip out,” Cohen says. Steve Calechman

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Catching Up With Steve Schirripa June 14, 2013 USA Weekend

This Father's Day, take tips from a wise guy dad. Steve Schirripa, known for playing Tony Soprano's loyal but dense brother in law, has written a new book, Big Daddy's Rules: Raising Daughters Is Tougher Than I Look.

“There were about 10, 000 rules” for his girls, now ages 17 and 21. A prime rule of the 6 foot 2, 290 pound Big Daddy: “Being a good parent is not about being a popular parent.” He explains: “Kids have to rebel. It's their nature. It's their job.

Your job (as a parent) is to give them something to rebel against. It's not to be their friend.” The parenting phrase that works best for him is “the most underrated sentence in a dad's vocabulary: “Because I said so.” Bada bing!

Dear Abby: My 15 year old son, “Todd,” has started seeing a girl he goes to school with. “Winona” seems to be a nice girl from a good family. However, my son confided that her parents (mostly the mom) have started asking him all sorts of questions like, “I thought you were a good student.

Why aren’t you on the honor roll?” Do you keep your room clean?” Would you change for our daughter?”

Todd is a good kid and a good student (A’s and B’s mostly). He has strong morals, lots of friends and is a typical teen. He isn’t asking for that girl’s hand in marriage! It’s their first “boyfriend/girlfriend” relationship. They just like each other. Is the mom out of line, or am I being too sensitive? Dumbfounded Dad In Illinois

Dear Dad: Because this is her daughter’s first boyfriend, the mother may ask these questions because she’s protective, and it’s her way of trying to get to know your son better. Please try not to take what’s happening so seriously, because she’d probably ask the same questions if Prince Harry were seeing her precious daughter.

That’s how some mothers are --- until enough boys become so uncomfortable that they disappear and the daughter finds it so embarrassing she puts a stop to it. www.dearabby.com

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Erika Riley says: March 12, 2015 at 1:19 p.m.

This post was somewhat hard to find, only because I didn’t really know what to look for…

I have a 14 year old daughter that started dating a 17 year old boy after they met in band … My daughter was dating another band member who was her same age and all of a sudden this guy showed up telling her how beautiful she was and that he would give anything to be her boyfriend, etc… (Now none of this I knew until the end).

Long story short, she broke it off with the other guy and started dating the 17 year old. I was very leery about letting her date someone so much older than her. Three years in teenage years is a big different and she was not that mature anyway.

After meeting him, he wasn’t so mature himself. Was just a little guy, I guess if I could use one word, I would call him “cute.”

He seemed harmless … so we let her have a relationship with him.

He did not have a license or a job but blamed his mother that she would not let him and gave every excuse of why he couldn’t get his license. So anytime they wanted to see each other, we either had to pick him up or drop him off, etc…which we did because at first we liked him!

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After a few weeks we saw a huge change in our daughter … wasn’t participating in family time, and when she did, she had her phone and was texting the whole time, was asking to see him all the time, anytime she could…

Started not hanging out with her friends both at school and in her free time, only wanted to be with him…she didn’t want to play sports anymore or be on the ski club …

She started to get disrespectful, rude, and sassy with everyone in our house.

She only would wear sweatpants and leggings and no makeup or anything to school anymore, which was strange for her because she always looked nice… and of course, her grades were going down.

I would catch her on her phone past midnight texting him. At that point, we stepped in.

The next time he came to our house, we sat down and talked with them both about the fact that their relationship was affecting our daughter negatively and that it was too serious and they needed to cool it.

They both shook their head and agreed….hmmmmm. Things only got worse from there.

We finally decided we would take her phone and find out what was going on. There are days that I wish I would have never done that … I don’t want to know what I know now …

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We found out she had sex with this boy at his house in his room while his mother was there. I was very against letting her go to his house at all because I don’t trust that other parents have the same values that I do.

And of course I was right and should have listened to my gut.

I even called the mother before she went over there to make sure she would be supervised and that I do not want my daughter in his room, etc… I got, “of course they will be supervised”…

There were many texts, pictures, nasty things on her phone, not to mention the sheer number of texts, in one day, she sent 580 text messages.

I couldn’t believe it, my innocent daughter; I would never ever see her that way again.

In these text messages I started to understand why she had started acting the way she did …

He showered her with compliments (which she had never even had a boyfriend more than a week before), told her how much he loved her and they would be together forever.

Played on her immaturity… calling her Baby about 10, 000 times, etc...

I also saw so many texts from her apologizing and saying how sorry she was for who knows what … when I say many texts, I mean the word sorry showed up 200+ (I couldn’t count anymore) in those 580 texts that happened in one day…what????

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I also saw that she would ask him every day if it was OK what she wore to school and he would always reply, I like it better when you just wear sweats and no makeup, etc…additionally, there were texts that said, “I didn’t run track so that I could spend time with you, but now you are going off every Friday with ski club and I don’t get to see you, I guess you don’t love me”

So now I see the pattern! Of course we cut it off.

I wanted to call the mother and let her know what was going on, and my husband wanted to call him and tell him he was going to hunt him down, but we decided to let our daughter take the responsibility to break it off (while we were in the room sitting next to her).

The first thing he said was can we sneak around? We won’t get caught! The hard thing is that she goes to school with this guy and sees him every day! How do you control that?

We cut off her connection with the outside world for a while, no phone, no ipod for music, no computer, etc …we tried to make her realize what had happened so that she could start putting 2 and 2 together that this guy was just manipulating her and that he was not good for her.

She started to come around, see the light … at least we thought! After about a month, I gave her the ipod back and said no texting, emailing, social media… nothing except music! She agreed.

Then last night I walk into her room unexpected and found her emailing him … now he tells her he is going to ask her to marry him.

I told her if she had anymore contact with him that I would make her change schools…

This emotional predator will not leave her alone. He is not 18 until November so I cannot MAKE him leave her alone… I just don’t know how to save her from him. Any suggestions would be great!

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Teen Upset With Parents For Quashing Tryst

Dear Annie: I’ve known Owen for four years, and we are in various classes together. We e-mail regularly and chat all the time, and I consider him my best friend. Our parents are good friends, too. Recently, Owen and I have become closer than “just friends” and privately expressed our feelings for each other. However, once our parents found out, they promptly shut us down, saying we were “unqualified” and “underage.”

We didn’t even kiss, let alone have sex. My parents have always been protective, and I appreciate that, but this is upsetting to me. Owen is a great guy. We are both very responsible kids. I don’t have a fantastic relationship with my parents, so I tend not to be that open with them .It’s not comfortable for me. Both my parents and Owen’s seem to have brushed aside the whole thing as if it never occurred. What should I do? A.

Dear A: It depends on how old you are. If you are not yet 16, your parents are wise to put a lid on this. The reason is, these things can get out of control, even though you are both responsible. It starts with expressing your feelings, and then kissing, and then one of you will undoubtedly want the relationship to progress to the next level.

As teenagers, your emotions tend to get ahead of your brain. (This can happen even after you are 16, but that is a more acceptable age to begin dating). Your feelings for Owen are perfectly normal, but please don’t do too much too soon. And it would be unwise to hide your activities from your parents. If you don’t think you can talk to them about this, confide in an older sibling, an aunt or uncle, or a grandparent, favorite teacher or family friend. It will help. Promise. [email protected]

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 10: 12 a.m. 400 block Mc Kelvey Street Friday December 11

Domestic violence reported. Woman denied it, said her mother was upset about whom she was dating.

Living With Children: Teenagers Despise Being Micromanaged January 8, 2012 The Blade

Question: Our 17 year old daughter is an honor student who has been accepted to three colleges.

She has not been a risk taker, except with boys. Her most recent boyfriend is a wonderful kid and very smart.

Apparently, they both resent our rule that a parent must be home when either of them is visiting at the other one’s home, but they’ve gone along with it.

We just found out that they’ve been texting about sneaking out to be alone.

What should we do?

Answer: Your question drips with evidence that you are guilty of world class micromanagement. Your daughter is a senior in high school, an honor student, and a generally sensible person whose only “crime” is wanting to be alone with her boyfriend. Sounds normal to me. In fact, it sounds downright reasonable.

For purposes of the present discussion, micromanagement is the attempt to control someone who 1) cannot be controlled or

2) has demonstrated the ability to exercise reasonably good self control. For micromanagement to work, both of those conditions must be false. If either condition is true, however, then micromanagement will not work and the anxiety driven attempt to make it work will create a wagonload of problems.

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There are times in a child’s life when micromanagement is feasible and necessary --- during infancy and toddlerhood, for example.

As a child matures the need for micromanagement decreases.

It can be argued that some teens, because they have demonstrated an inability to make good decisions, may need to be micromanaged. Regardless, the teen that needs it is not going to submit to it either. Therefore, micromanagement does not work with teens.

Your daughter has obviously demonstrated the ability to exercise reasonably good self control. The attempt, therefore, to control her is going to cause lots of problems and solve none. In fact, your attempt to micromanage your daughter is likely to result in the very problems you are trying to prevent.

Invariably, micromanagement results in four problems: Deceit, disloyalty, conflict, and communication problems.

You have discovered that your daughter is right on the edge of trying to deceive you. You and she are having conflict concerning your rules.

Deceit and conflict go hand in hand with communication problems. From here, it’s a short step to disloyalty --- the increasingly likely possibility that your daughter will decide to reject your values.

That’s all four down.

Is the price worth it?

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I strongly encourage you to sit down with her and say words to the following effect: “We hope you know we have only your best interests in mind, but we have to admit we’ve made a mistake.

We’ve been acting like you can’t be trusted when in fact you’ve given us no reason to believe that’s the case.

We’ve made our values and expectations perfectly clear to you. You’re a smart person. You know what the consequences might be of violating them.

So, we trust you to do the right thing where this boy is concerned. From now on, we’re going to stop trying to control your relationship with him. We are convinced you are capable of controlling it yourself. We love you!”

Does this approach guarantee that no problems will develop? No. But believe me; these two people are far more likely to do what you don’t want them to do if you keep doing what you are currently doing.

So, the solution is quite simple: Stop! Psychologist John Rosemond answers parents’ questions at: www.rosemond.com

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Mom Bars Teen From Wedding Of Old Friend Marrying Young

Dear Abby: I am 16 and my old friend from grammar school is getting married next month. I just received a wedding invitation in the mail.

However, my mother does not approve of her getting married at such a young age (she’s 18) and has forbidden me to go or even talk to her. I haven’t seen this friend in more than two years because she moved away and has only recently returned.

I want to attend her wedding. How can I go about convincing my mom to let me go? Invited In Las Vegas

Dear Invited: At 18, the bride to be is an adult, and while marriage at such a young age isn’t advisable for many reasons, there’s nothing immoral about it.

I’m sorry you didn’t mention what might have happened in your friend’s life in the last two years, because it may be the reason your mother is worried about your associating with her.

Your mom may want to protect you, but she’s going about it in the wrong way. You could learn a lot about life by simply observing what happens to your friend after she has reached the altar. www.dearabby.com

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Dating Behind Parents’ Back Won’t Prove Teen’s Maturity

Dear Abby: My boyfriend, “Aidan,” and I have been dating for three months. I want to tell my parents, but I don’t know how.

They say I’m too young and immature to date. I’ll be 16 in five months.

They say Aidan is obsessed with me and they don’t want me staying in an unhealthy relationship. My parents think I’m not talking to Aidan, but I really am.

I want to show them I’m mature enough for a relationship. All they keep saying is I need to be “realistic” and “respectful.”

I’m more respectful than half the people I know. I don’t want to keep this from my parents anymore. What should I do? Teen Girl In Illinois

Dear Teen Girl: When parents say a teen is too young to date, they aren’t talking about the number of candles on her birthday cake. If your parents are worried that Aidan is “obsessed,” they must have a reason. Sneaking around isn’t a way to gain anyone’s confidence.

Teens show they are mature and responsible enough to handle the privilege of dating by being open, honest, communicating their feelings, listening respectfully to the opinions of others, and shouldering responsibility. If you start now, you may be able to convince your parents that you’re ready. www.dearabby.com

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Parents Insist Best Friends Must Wait To Date At Sixteen

Dear Abby: I’m a 14 year old girl and I have a boy best friend who is also 14. I liked him the moment I met him, which was exactly a yare ago. He says it’s the same for him. We established that we both liked each other months ago, but we’re still only friends.

The reason is his parents have a rule that he can’t have a girlfriend or go on dates until he’s 16. He’s the only one I want, but we have to wait until he can ask me out. For now we are best friends, but it’s hard not to wan to hold his hand and kiss him and stuff like that.

He doesn’t like his parents’ rule just as much as I don’t, and he totally doesn’t want to wait, but he will. It’s also very hard to not tell him how much my feelings have grown, because I’m afraid he will react strangely if I tell him I think I might love him. What should I do? Teen In California

Dear Teen: If your intuition is telling you not to be the first to say, “I love you,” then listen to it and you may be pleasantly surprised one day to hear him say it to you first.

As to the fact that his parents are strict, you really don’t have much choice other than to respect their rules. That said, younger teens aren’t usually restricted from having any special contact at all. Before they start dating one on one, they usually get together in groups for movies; sporting events, school dances, etc …

This should give the two of you opportunities to see each other outside of school. While this may not be the answer you’re looking for, for the time being, it may be an acceptable compromise. www.dearabby.com

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Dear Annie: I am a retired naval officer. Two weeks ago, my 16 year old daughter had a date with a young man I had never met.

My wife, a teacher at the school, said he was a good kid.

When the young man showed up to get my daughter, he sat in the car and honked the horn (strike 1).

I went out and told him she was not ready, and he should come into the house. He did, and then proceeded to call my wife by her first name (strike 2). When he tried the same with me, I very sternly said, “You can call me ‘Sir.’

Finally, when my daughter came down, he blurted, out “It’s about time” (strike 3). At this I blew my stack.

In military fashion, an inch from his face and speaking loudly, I proceeded to tell him that I will not allow anyone to treat my family this way.

I grabbed his coat and threw it outside and informed him that unless he also wanted to end up on the ground, he would leave and never see my daughter again.

My daughter cried, as expected, but my wife has not spoken to me in two weeks. She says I should remember that I no longer wear a uniform. She thinks I owe “Junior” an apology. I told her he owes our family an apology for his lack of respect.

Tell me Annie, was I wrong? My wife and I will do whatever you say. Lost In Lainsgsburg

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Dear Lost: Your disciplinary tactics are too harsh for civilians.

Such severity may keep all young men at bay, and while it could protect your daughter’s chastity, it also will isolate her from normal socializing.

She needs to learn how to manage these young men on her own, so that she will be prepared for adult relationships.

Your daughter should have known your “date fitness” requirements in advance.

It’s OK to say that you did not like the boy’s attitude and let HER tell him to be more respectful, or even calmly explain the rules to the boy yourself.

But you should not have gotten in his face.

Still, we don’t believe you owe him an apology, although you might apologize to your daughter for throwing her date out the door. [email protected]

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Dear Deanna! I disagree with teen dating and feel kids shouldn’t have dates until they finish high school.

All of the young teens in our family are dating and they are all a mess. The girls are going through stress, crying and wearing a lot of makeup. The boys want to be thugs and are going through many girls for the notches on their belt.

I’m viewed as the old maid in the family, but my children are stress free because I don’t let them date. When is the right age to begin dating? Anonymous

Dear Anonymous: With a good foundation, teens can successfully have friends of the opposite sex. Regardless of the word dating or relationship, the younger generation needs to learn bonding and social skills as they interact with each other. Juniors and seniors do well with dating because their life skills are becoming sharp and defined.

There is no set age, but you need to loosen your strings because when your kids get out there, they may get wild and cause you heartbreak. [email protected]

Dear Gwendolyn: My husband is really acting strange. My daughter is 17 and he refuses to allow her to date. She graduates from high school this spring and he thinks she should not date until she has finished.

He says, “She needs to get her education first.” I don’t know where he got that ridiculous theory.

The grandmother used to talk with my husband at length when my daughter was growing up. I can remember when I was young my mother and grandma had that same harsh conversation about me. Grandma wanted me to date at 17 and my mother said I could date at 16. My husband constantly claims he is not going to raise grandchildren.

Gwendolyn, because of my husband’s actions, I seem to have lost my love for him. Also, he is my daughter’s stepfather. He says she should have discussed her dating with him. Alma

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Dear Alma: A discussion of when to date is a conversation between a daughter and her mother. Inform your husband that people at some point in time used to be concerned about their daughter getting pregnant. I must admit that thinking was not in every home. There are parents that believe when their child is in trouble, come home.

Think about it. Men are known to wait around bus stations for teenagers who have no place to go. These men force young girls into drug addiction and introduce them to the life of prostitution.

Alma, I agree with you and disagree with your husband and your grandma’s belief. As for your husband (your daughter’s stepfather) it could be innocent, but it looks bad for that much attention to be given.

It is good to be concerned, but the teen years are when the apron string is cut --- and children grow into adults, successful or unsuccessful. www.gwenbaines@hotmailcom

Age Is An Issue For Senior Girl Dating Sophomore Boy

Dear Abby: I’m a senior (girl) in high school and have been dating a sophomore even though he’s less than a year younger than I am. (I’m very young for my grade.) We have a lot in common and think we both love each other a lot.

Next fall, I’m planning on going to a local community college, but I won’t be too far away. I think my boyfriend has more interest in the military or a vocational career than college, but he’s very serious and mature for his age.

I know college will be a chance for me to meet new people and I don’t want to limit my chances, but if I’m still interested in dating him, would it be “proper?”

I was already hesitant about dating him because he was younger, although I knew if the situation was reversed it wouldn’t be a problem. Assuming everything still works out between us, is it OK for a college girl to date a high school boy?

I’m not sure how to handle this. I know things may change before fall, but I’m getting anxious about it now. He has already said that he would still like to date me if I want to, so it’s basically up to me. Anxious In The Midwest

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Dear Anxious: As far as I know, there is no rule forbidding a college freshman continuing to date someone who is still in high school. Because the choice is yours, I suggest you just let this play out.

College will present you with a chance to widen not only your range or interests, but also your circle of acquaintances. You owe it to yourself to take advantage of everything that college offers. If you wish to continue seeing your current boyfriend, do so. However, it would be better for both of you if it is done on a non- exclusive basis for the next few years. www.dearabby.com

Couple’s Difference In Age Causes Girl’s Family To Worry

Dear Abby: I’m 17 and dating this older guy. Everyone is afraid that one day I’ll just disappear, but he isn’t like that. I know him from when I was younger, and my dad and his dad were really close.

People just don’t trust me, even though I have told them nothing but the full truth from the start. I’m happy. What should I do Misunderstood In Massachusetts

Dear Misunderstood: It might help if you ask this young man to talk to your parents about his interest in you. If he is nice, respectful and employed or in school, they may be less suspicious about his intentions. www.dearabby.com

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Miley’s Racy Birds And Bees Talk Sets Parents Buzzing

Billy Ray Cyrus and wife Tish struggle to keep mega star daughter Miley Cyrus’ image squeaky clean, but lately they’re getting a blistering earful from parents of Miley’s teen gal pals, who charge that their brat’s telling their kids they should start cranking their love lives into high gear, bragging that at age 16, she’s already romancing grown up guy Justin Gaston 20.

Worse, the parents complain, Miley’s flat out advising the wide eyed girls that they’d better find themselves a guy, or they’re gonna be left by the side of the road, and they’d better be ready when it’s time to go all the way, reveals a family friend.

That sure ain’t music to the ears of parents of Miley’s girl posse, many of whom aren’t in show business.

Dear Abby: My family doesn’t seem to approve of my taste in who I date. I prefer to go with older guys, but I’m 14.

My parents actually reported my last boyfriend to the police when they found out his real age.

I am now with another guy in high school who respects me, but my parents don’t approve of him either. What should I do? Confused In Missouri

Dear Confused: Start concentrating on school, sports and group activities. In other words, wait to date until your parents agree you are old enough and you can find someone of whom they approve. www.dearabby.com

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Police Blotter: Erie County Sheriff 10: 31 p.m. 15700 block Darrow Road Monday May 18

Man wanted to document relationship his 17 year old daughter is having with 22 year old.

Teen’s Friendship With Older Man Draws Fire From Parents

Dear Abby: My 18 year old daughter, a junior in high school, is still living at home. She had befriended a 51 year old man at her first job (a burger place).

We have told her that although she is kind to be friendly with him at work, we feel it’s inappropriate to do things with him outside of work. She’s now upset with us and claims we “don’t understand,” nothing romantic is going on,” and she thinks of him like a “second father.”

Although they have not gotten together yet outside of work, she announced last weekend that she was going to meet him for lunch. We put our foot down and told her no way, and she was forbidden to borrow either of our vehicles to go. (She doesn’t have her own car yet.)

She relented, but how can we convince her that this is a bad idea with the world the way it is nowadays? I have suggested to her father (with whom my daughter had a close relationship) that he speak to this man one on one.

My husband feels this is something she has to learn for herself. She’s very naïve. What do you think? Mom Of A Teen

Dear Mom: Frankly, I think your husband is right. While you may wish to protect your daughter, she’s an adult now. People learn more life lessons from experience than they do from lectures. www.dearabby.com

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My Night With Elvis Kitty Stuart tells the surprising tale of her romp with rock and roll’s first sex symbol

It was actually my husband Dick, who sent me to Elvis --- sort of.

I had been with Dick since I was 15 and he was 37.

He was an A-class grafter and I was his bait, though I was too young and inexperienced to see it at the time.

All I knew was that I wanted to be an actress more than anything, and I trusted Dick’s judgment to help me with my career.

It wasn’t a happy or healthy marriage to say the least, so I left him several times. But I kept going back.

Eventually, in 1973, when I was 21 years old, I left him for good and moved to Hollywood.

Penniless and homeless, I stayed wherever I could, often sleeping in my car.

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My Ex-Husband Tried To Kill Me October 17, 2016 PEOPLE

It was Valentine’s Day 20056 when Jana Kramer was attacked by her husband for the first time.

Just 20 years old and married for less than a year to Michael Gambino, a charismatic man 17 years her senior, Kramer was terrified as he slammed her 5’4 frame up against a wall at their Studio City, California., apartment and wrapped his hands around her neck.

“I didn’t know what I had done wrong or why he was suddenly so angry, but I just cried and said I was sorry, because I believed it must be my fault,” says the country star, now 32. “

And then I tried even harder to get him to love me.”

But things only got worse. In fact, the handsome boyfriend she wed on a playful whim in Las Vegas in early 2004 developed a routine that led Kramer to sleep in her car some nights or hide in the bushes until he calmed down.

Easily angered and frequently jealous, “he’s come home at 3 o’clock in the morning and pick me up out bed, throw me onto the ground and start yelling and hitting,” says Kramer, who hid bruises with makeup and kept the abuse a secret from family and friends.

“Then the next morning he’d be like, ‘hey baby,’ as if nothing had happened.

While she called police after he first threatened to kill her, the then aspiring actress didn’t pursue charges. “I was so ashamed,” she says now. Things escalated to a breaking point on August 6th, 2005.

Incensed that she’d made what was an innocent call to a male co-star on her movie Click, Gambino strangled her into unconsciousness and left her bleeding on the gravel outside their home. Gambino was convicted of attempted murder and sentenced to six years in prison. He was released on parole in 2010 and committed suicide two years later. Elizabeth Leonard

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Dear Gwendolyn: A year ago I went to live with my mother. We were enjoying each other as when I was a child. I thought everything was going fine until last week when she asked me to leave and not return.

This is the problem: As a teenager, I treated my mother badly.

My father left when I was a baby at least that's what my grandmother told me. My mother worked two jobs to support me and we had a happy home.

When I turned 18, I met a man who was 47 and ran away from home, but not before having horrible bouts with my mom. The day I ran away, she tried to stop me and I cut her on the arm with a kitchen knife. What I didn't know is that the wound became infected, and her arm was amputated.

The man mistreated me by trying to make me into a sex slave.

I lived in and out of shelters for about 10 years and fell victim to sleeping on the streets for about 5. Down and out, I was able to meet a preacher's wife and she helped me to get my life together. Why can't people forgive? I guess I never should have trusted my mom's reactions. I felt our past was left in the past.

Gwendolyn, please give me your opinion. Don't you think it is wrong for my own mother to turn her back on me? Gladys www.gwenbaines@hotmailcom

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True Crime: Killer Taped Torture Chamber Horror! Officers needed counseling after viewing SADISTIC SCENE November 28, 2016 National Enquirer

In stomach churning video footage, twisted Craigslist killer Brady Oestrike is seen setting up a basement torture chamber where he sadistically abused a pregnant 18 year old before brutally murdering her.

Police in Wyoming, Michigan, have released never before seen tape that showed Oestrike, 31, preparing a dog kennel, testing ropes and chains and holding handguns.

On July 12th, 2014, the creep arranged on Craigslist to meet Brooke Slocum, who was eight months pregnant, and her boyfriend, Charles Oppenneer, 25, in a sex for cash deal in a park, cops said.

Oestrike decapitated Charles in the park, and then handcuffed Brooke, drove her to his ramshackle house of horrors, stuffed her in the dog kennel and viciously assaulted her for five days before killing her, police said.

The sicko taped most of the torture on four surveillance cameras, and police confirm video of Brooke’s gruesome strangling also exists.

Oestrike, an energy company linesman, hoarded whips, swords and ammunition, and kept restraints, ropes, sex toys and cattle prods in his home cops said.

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Besides all that, police recovered a “sex slave contract,” stuffed toys tied with handcuffs, blood covered panties, a medieval mask, chain mail gloves, medical gloves and syringes.

Wyoming Police Chief James Carmody described the case as “one of the most brutal” he’d ever seen. “I think it was pure evil from start to finish,” he said, adding that officers who saw the torture video needed counseling afterward.

“It definitely had a profound effect on all of us,” he said. “It’s very disturbing. There’s no way you can say that you get used to that stuff, because you don’t.”

Police tracked Oestrike down through Craigslist, and as they were closing in on him on July 17th, 2014, the pervert fled in his car. But he crashed and shot himself to death before he could be captured.

Brooke’s body was found inside a suitcase in his car trunk. Her baby, who she had already named Audi, did not survive. Her boyfriend’s head has not been found. Carmody added: “We always try to find a reason for someone acting like this. Sometimes there isn’t one.”

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Refuge After Parents’ Divorce Turns Into A Prison For Teen

Dear Abby: I’m 17 and have been in a relationship since I was 13 with the same person on and off. I have been with him since my parents divorced, so you might say he’s been my crutch for a long time.

He makes it clear that without him I am an emotional mess. I spend every day isolated from friends and family, while he spends his time with his friends.

(I’m not allowed to be with them.) If I’m out with a friend, it is a huge issue.

I love him and I don’t want to break up, but it feels like I’m alone even when I’m with him.

I’m sick of letting a man make me feel like he’s my reason for being alive.

I want better. I deserve better. I am so confused. Please help me. Deserves Better In New York

Dear Deserves Better: I am crossing my fingers and hoping that you are still living with one of your parents. If you have been living with this person, I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is for you to make other arrangements.

You acknowledge that he has been your “crutch.” Well, unless someone is severely disabled --- which you are not --- crutches are meant to be temporary.

Among the warning signs of an abuser is being controlling and preventing his victim from forming healthy relationships with other people.

Another Red Flag is if the person chips away at his victim’s self esteem by saying she/he “can’t survive with him.”

That you want something better for yourself and know you deserve better is a sign that you still have some healthy self esteem. So please act on it. End this relationship and don’t look back. www.dearabby.com

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Boy 16, 1500 block Clinton Street marijuana possession, curfew 2: 18 a.m. 1000 block Camp Street Friday April 1

Witnesses said boy was punching female, threw her to the ground, and dragged her around. He was found to be carrying marijuana, but girl claimed he didn’t assault her.

Ask Amy Teen’s Friend In Abusive Romance

Dear Amy: I’m in high school. I have a group of 10 friends who are so close that we often joke about being family. We are generally a very happy group, but ever since school started, a guy, “Steve,” has been dating “Catherine.”

It has recently come out that Steve is manipulative and abusive with Catherine. On multiple occasions she has tried to break up with him, but he has threatened suicide.

Since these arguments between them often happen in the middle of the night, she has often woken us all up to beg for help, only to then tell us that things calmed down.

We have learned that Steve is bipolar and on medication, but it seems to be having no effect. Amy, I’m only 16. I worry for Catherine’s safety and everyone else’s, but she won’t break up with him because Steve threatens suicide.

Recently, he had a meltdown in which he slammed his head against the ground and walls, screamed and cried and begged Catherine to change her mind.

This was because she had picked a partner for a group project other than him. He seems extremely jealous of her friends. They have very long and vicious fights over small things and it is beginning to affect the rest of us.

What should I do? I can’t back off because they are in many of my classes, and talking to either of them has no effect. Worried In Oregon

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Dear Worried: This is frightening, and it is important that you (and other friends) do something --- now.

I want you to skip your next class and go to your counselor and/or dean of students. Tell that person everything you have reported in your letter.

Teenage intimate partner violence is too common. A 2013 survey noted that 10 percent reported sexual victimization from a dating partner in the 12 months before they were surveyed. Teens that experience abuse in high school are at risk for risky relationships later.

A 2011 Centers For Disease Control And Prevention nationwide survey found that 23 percent of females and 14 percent of males who ever experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age.

You must contact an adult to intervene. You and your friends are simply too young to stop this, but you should raise the alarm --- with your school counselor, your parents, and hers.

Text the Crisis Help Line at 741-741. Write this text number on your forearm --- and your friend’s. [email protected]

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Teens' Attempted Murder Trial Delayed July 13, 2013 The Register

The trial date has been moved back for two Bellevue teens accused of attempting to kill another teen over issues with a woman. Jessica Cuffman

Ask Amy High School Friends Face Boyfriend Tension

Dear Amy: My best friend and I are high school seniors and I strongly dislike her boyfriend. He treats her horribly, tells her “no promises” about cheating on her when they’re arguing, entertains other girls and doesn’t shut it down and then makes jokes about it. Recently she asked who the girl he was texting was, and he said, “Oh, I don’t know. I have three.”

When I told him he’s made her cry, he bragged to his friend about how cool that is. She doesn’t open up to him because she says he doesn’t care. They fight over the same things over and over. She knows she should leave, but she can’t imagine her life without him and she wants more time with him.

She used to tell me that since he doesn’t cheat on her it’s fine, but now she says things like she doesn’t know if he’s cheating or not. At this point, I don’t think she’d leave him even if he did cheat.

She puts up with this and I don’t know if it’s because she does love him or if it’s because he’s her first boyfriend. No matter what I do I can’t make her see that he’s not good for her and she deserves so much more. She doesn’t believe that there’s someone out there who’s going to show her what she’s been missing.

I hate watching her hurt herself. I get so angry over this, I’ve even cried because she was crying over him. Do I stay out of it or do I help her? Nothing I say or do changes her mind. How can I be a better friend and help her out? Sad Best Friend

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Dear Sad: According to the very helpful website www.loveisrespect.org, 1 in 3 teens report being in a toxic or abusive dating relationship.

Based on what you say, I would put your friend in this category. Continue to support her, but understand that she may continue to stay with him, even though he is an emotionally abusive jerk.

Understand that on many levels she knows this, but she is making a calculation: She would rather have stale crumbs from this guy than be on her own. You can help make sure she knows she deserves better.

She sounds vulnerable and insecure. You should continue to be her supportive friend but you can stop urging her to leave (this choice needs to come from her). Only continue saying to her, “You deserve so much better …”

Some abusive relationship patterns start with that first relationship, and, unfortunately, if she thinks this is acceptable or “normal,” she may continue to have relationships with guys who bully and treat her badly.

You cannot change this, but you should continue to be her loyal friend, even if this is incredibly frustrating and hard for you.

Urge her to do some research about relationships; www.loveisrespect.org offers a very helpful online chat, as well as a free texting hotline: text loveis to 22522 or call 866-331-9474. [email protected]

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Teen Dating Abuse All Too Common (Young Love's Dark Side) March 17, 2013 The Blade (Chicago Tribune)

Book: In Love And In Danger: A Teen's Guide To Breaking Free Of Abusive Relationships By: Barrie Levy

Book: But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost Of Non Physical Abuse To Girls And Women By: Jill Murray

Abuse during the teen years, the (CDC) says, can lead to lifelong unhealthy relationship practices, disrupt normal development, and lead to chronic mental and physical health conditions in adulthood. Heidi Stevens

Police Blotter: Perkins Police 1: 01 a.m. 1800 block Buchanan Street Monday June 1

Woman didn't approve of daughter hanging out with boyfriend and friend at house; boyfriend and friend argued with mother outside.

Police Blotter: Erie County Sheriff 9: 47 pm. 2500 block Seminary Road, Milan Wednesday June 5

Girl, no age available, domestic violence. Girl kicked and scratched mother when she was not allowed to visit boyfriend.

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Teen Gets Life In Prison For Murders July 22, 2016 The Blade

“Devonte is a danger to society,” Josianne Thomas told the judge as she recalled the horrors of how Brown first stalked and assaulted his daughter, Joscelyn Jones, 16, then --- after he broke into their home last August 10th --- used a knife in the most violent of ways to kill not only her daughter but also her son, Johnny Jones 111, 14.

Judge English meted the sentence upon Brown for each of two counts of aggravated murder for the slayings, as well as an additional 22 years for the attempted murder of Ms. Thomas.

Ms. Thomas was stabbed at least 15 times but survived.

Shynerra’s Law Protects Youth

State Representative Edna Brown is making needed change when it comes to combating teen dating violence.

In March, her bill to give young people the opportunity to file for Protection Orders in Juvenile Court was approved by the Ohio House Of Representatives and soon after signed by Governor Ted Strickland.

The new legislation, called “Shynerra’s Law,” is named in honor of 17 year old Start High School graduate Shynerra Grant, who died at the hands of an 18 year old man she once dated.

When Shynerra tried to end the relationship, the young man continuously harassed and injured her until taking her life in 2005.

Shynerra had received a “No Contact Order” against her ex-boyfriend (restricting him from coming into physical contact with her), but Protective Orders (Restraining Orders) were only available in court for adults.

The new law, effective in mid June, will also allow an adult family member to file for a Protection Order on behalf of another household member.

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90 Years Of The ENQUIRER October 10, 2016 The ENQUIRER

1963 We stunned the nation with a September 8th story about the murder of Olympic alpine skier Sonja McCaskie by high school student Thomas Lee Bean.

Need To Know: The Stalking Danger You Don’t Expect

You’re going along, living your life --- until suddenly; someone you barely know is harassing you, shadowing your every move.

Here’s why acquaintance stalking is so common and so dangerous. In the beginning, Johanna Justin-Jinich and Stephen P. Morgan’s connection seemed friendly enough.

They met during the summer of 2007, when both were enrolled in a six week course on human sexuality at New York University. Johanna, then 19, was between her freshman and sophomore years at Wesleyan University in Connecticut; Morgan, 27, had just completed a semester at the University of Colorado.

They reportedly saw one another casually outside class, going out to eat a few times as friends.

But when Johanna went away for a three day weekend, things got weird --- fast. According to news reports, Morgan became angry, sending her e-mails asking where she was and why she wasn’t answering his calls.

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Insistence turned into insults as he began criticizing, among other things, her religion and looks, saying she wasn’t attractive and knocking what he called her revealing clothes.

“You’re going to have a lot more problems down the road if you can’t take any (expletive) criticism, Johanna,” he wrote, according to police.

After receiving 38 e-mails in one week, she filed a harassment complaint against him.

Police interviewed both of them, but then Morgan left New York. Johanna, perhaps assuming that distance would resolve the matter, decided not to press charges and returned to Wesleyan.

Although at press time no one could comment on whether the two had been in touch since that summer, a former roommate told reporters that Johanna had only mentioned Morgan in passing, suggesting, that she’d put the ordeal behind her.

Judging by what happened next, however, Morgan hadn’t done the same.

In the early afternoon of May 6th, 2009, he allegedly walked into a bookstore near the Wesleyan campus where Johanna worked and fired several shots at her. She was pronounced dead at the hospital that day.

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Fending off a stalker

If a near stranger’s creepy behavior is scaring you, don’t hesitate to take action.

Trust your instincts

Don’t downplay the danger or tell yourself you’re overreacting. If you feel unsafe, you probably are.

Keep evidence

Save e-mails, phone messages, notes; write down the time, date, and places of contact. Documentation will help you obtain a protective order.

Don’t communicate

You might be tempted to say something --- anything to stop the stalker’s upsetting behavior, but any response may be misread as encouragement.

Contact a hotline

The National Center For Victims Of Crime Line is 800-FYI-CALL. Consultants can help with legal options and a safety plan (which might include changing your routine, moving temporarily, and/or having friends go places with you.)

Tell everyone you know

Inform roommates, co-workers, friends, and security staff at home and work so they can watch out for you.

Call the police

Every state has stalking laws, and bringing in law enforcement is a key step in building your case. National Center For Victims Of Crime: Stalking Resource Center. Kimberly Goad

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Daughter Needs To Learn How To Break Up September 16, 2011 The Blade

Dear Annie: My daughter, 19, has been dating “Thad” 21, for four years. Thad recently admitted that he cheated on her, and now she is breaking up with him.

She discussed it with me and then sent him a message that it was over.

He texted her multiple times, but she didn’t respond. He wants to get back together and keeps calling her, sometimes keeping her up at night arguing about it.

Thad walked over to our house, and when my daughter said she didn’t want to see him, my husband sent him away. My husband then immediately blocked Thad’s phone numbers from all of our cell phones, and the next day, he blocked the boy’s mother’s phone number, as well.

He told my younger children to call the police if Thad comes over.

I told my husband his reaction was extreme, and now he’s furious with me. He thinks I’m taking Thad’s side and not protecting our daughter.

I think this is her first boyfriend, and she needs to know how to break up with someone --- how to express her feelings, say, it’s over, hang up a phone and not answer annoying texts or e-mails. Thad is not a violent kid. He’s just hoping my daughter will reconsider.

Now my younger children are afraid they will have to call the cops if he comes over.

I don’t think my daughter is learning anything when Daddy takes over. He says I don’t live in the real world. Do you think my husband’s actions are extreme? Want My Daughter To Be A Strong Woman

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Dear Want: Yes. We understand his desire to protect his daughter, but he should not be swooping in to handle the unpleasant parts of her love life. It is her responsibility to tell Thad that it’s over, in person, and with conviction. The choice to block his calls belongs to her.

Of course, there is the very rare ex-boyfriend who becomes a stalker and potentially dangerous. If your daughter believes the situation could get violent, she should not see Thad without others present.

Daddy should back off and let her grow up. If she needs his help, she will ask for it. [email protected]

Dear Abby: I’ve been on and off again with this boy for about a year now, and he is socially awkward whereas I am not.

He is extremely funny and loyal.

I’m 13 and I think he wants to move to the next level of our relationship, and I’m not ready for that.

He talks a lot of crap about my friends, too.

I feel like I need a break from him.

How do I let him know how I feel without sounding rude? Teen In Alberta, Canada

Dear Teen: Be clear in your messages to him. Tell him you don’t like the way he talks about your friends, and you don’t want to hear him do it again.

If he pushes you to do ANYTHING that makes you uncomfortable, tell him NO and that he should stop immediately.

It is not rude to create boundaries for yourself; in fact, it is healthy.

It is more important to be forthright than to be polite. www.dearabby.com

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Dear Annie: I'm 17 and currently in a long distance relationship with this awesome girl from California. We've never met in person, but we have Skyped a lot. We've been together for more than a year.

Here's the problem: I've been having doubts that we'll ever really be together. On top of that, there’s this nice girl from my old school who recently admitted that she really likes me, and I'm sad to say, I like her too. I don't want to leave my girlfriend, but I don't know what our next step would be. What should I do? Chris In Chicago

Dear Chris: Long distance romances can work, but they are complicated and challenging even for experienced couples. And if you are not likely to meet this girl in person for months, if not years, it doesn't give you the opportunity to learn the real life requirements of a solid relationship.

We think you should remain friends, but give yourself the chance to meet girls in your area and allow her the same freedom. You may reconsider a romance should you ever end up in the same part of the country.

If she's as awesome as you say, you will be able to discuss this with her and reach an understanding. [email protected]

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Lauren Forcella: Straight Talk For Teens Girl Doesn’t Know How To Break Up

Dear Straight Talk: Last week I moved seven hours away from my boyfriend of two years. We are at different colleges and agreed to make it work. But I am having my doubts. He was my first and only boyfriend and I’m feeling like I need to branch out and see what life is like. However, he is deeply in love and texting me like every two seconds. Does anyone know how to tell him without hurting him? I can’t even break up in person! What should I do? Tammi (now in Los Angeles)

Lara, 21: Completely pain free breakups are impossible. But unhappiness or cheating hurts worse. If you break up by phone, write a letter also. I broke up with a long distance boyfriend over Skype. He has not forgiven me. Nonetheless, we both deserved more than a lopsided relationship, where one loves more than the other.

Brandon, 20: I’ve been on both sides of this. The first time was with my girlfriend of two years. A faraway college changed everything.

Ask yourself some questions: Were you completely happy with him? (Two years is enough time to know). If so, he might be the perfect person --- and chasing other guys can (and will) backfire. If not, a clean breakup is better than a dragged out one. Don’t point fingers, and don’t make false claims like, “I just need a break, maybe we can try later.”

Katherine, 18: I’m now 3, 000 miles from my boyfriend. To cope, we built some slack into the “boyfriend-girlfriend” label in case one of us does something stupid --- not that we plan to. Honestly, this is the hardest thing I’ve been through and Skype is saving our relationship. Give yourself time. Being far away is very emotional.

Colin, 18: Be sensitive, but not timid. Start with, “What I’m about to say is as difficult for me as it will be for you.”

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Nate, 18: The world won’t end. College is educational, and falling for new people is part of it. Many of my friends have tried long distance romances but none have worked.

Matt, 18, Boston: All last year, I dated an amazing girl who I love dearly. Knowing I was moving 2, 000 miles away, we had many discussions. Ultimately, we decided to encourage each other to fully experience life. Our decision wasn’t easy, but it took the pressure off. We still talk quite a bit, but there are no restrictions, demands, or prying. I miss her immensely, but we did the right thing.

Katelyn, 17: Everyone says listen to your heart, but college hearts today are subject to enormous peer pressure to “see what life is like.” Do you really want to cave in to this feeling to date guys you hardly know? Slow down! In time you’ll know if breaking up is best.

Dear Tammi: You must make a difficult choice and carry it out. Welcome to the wonderful world of adult life. Your options: Commit

Break up

Change the parameters

Chill --- but only if you’re truly not sure; procrastination or secretly wanting to control him isn’t allowed.

The best way to deliver a painful decision is to stand up (for the option true for you) while being kind and compassionate toward the other.

Accepting the fact that they will have pain, rather than glossing over it, or feeling annoyed, actually honors them. Lauren www.straighttalktnt.org

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Crime Stories 911 Doctor Says Teen Was Predisposed To Murder Due To Head Injury

A forensic psychiatrist testifying for the defense in the trial of a 20 year old man accused of murdering his ex-girlfriend says the defendant was unable to control himself and may have been suffering the effects of a high school football injury when he strangled and stabbed the victim.

Nathanial Fujita is charged with strangling and finally stabbing Lauren Astley in July 2011. They were both 18 at the time and had just graduated from high school.

Fujita’s lawyer has not disputed that his client killed Astley, but has said he did so during a brief psychotic episode.

Forensic Psychiatrist Wade Myers told the Middlesex Superior Court jury on Friday that Fujita “was unable to control what he was doing” and could have been suffering from traumatic brain injuries from playing high school football prior to the murder.

Myers, a Forensic Psychiatrist at Rhode Island Hospital, told the court he had interviewed Fujita after the murder and determined Fujita had suffered from several mental problems, and didn’t know the severity of what he did, the station says.

Myers said Fujita confessed to him and went through all the steps of the murder, from the strangling and stabbing to dumping Astley’s body.

Fujita, Myers said, used a bungee cord to choke Astley and that “she quit moving” and then he went into the house and got a knife and cut her throat.

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After the murder, Myers said, Fujita smoked pot, “took a shower, went downstairs, and watched TV with his parents.”

Myers said Fujita told him “he had this feeling that his mind was no longer controlling his body” and that he was “disconnected” when he murdered Astley.

The doctor told the court some of Fujita’s symptoms are consistent with what happens when the brain is injured from repeated blows to the head while playing high school football, the station reports.

The hits to the head “can predispose you to having this sort of break with reality,” Myers testified.

Combine that with the history of mental illness in Fujita’s family --- paranoia, schizophrenia, anxiety, and depression throughout every known generation --- and Fujita’s mind was not in control of his actions, Myers testified.

Testimony will continue Monday from another forensic psychiatrist, this one a rebuttal witness for the prosecution. Edecio Martinez

Added Note: Described on Dateline as breakup violence; the victim was called to the ex's home, for closure, after their breakup. She arrived, and was killed, and then deposed of miles away. The young man was sentenced to life in prison.

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Cops Said: College Football Player Shot Teen As She Slept

Knoxville, Tenn. --- A college football player faces a first-degree murder charge in the shooting death of a 16-year-old girl.

Knox County Sheriff's Office officials announced Wednesday that William Riley Gaul, a freshman wide receiver at Division III Maryville (Tennessee) College, was arrested in connection with the killing of Emma Walker.

Officials said Gaul was being held at the Knox County Jail on $750,000 bond.

Sheriff's officials said Walker was found dead of a gunshot wound inside her house Monday morning.

Officials said evidence at the scene indicted Gaul fired shots into her bedroom from outside the house while she slept.

Walker was a student at Central High School in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Maryville's football roster indicates Gaul graduated from Central High.

In a statement, Maryville athletic department spokesman Chris Cannon said: “Our thoughts and prayers are with the victim's family and friends and other individuals affected by this tragedy.”

Maryville coach Shaun Hayes said through a spokesman that Gaul has been dismissed from the football program.

Maryville already has completed its season.

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Real Life Reads: The 3 Most Dangerous Party Mistakes Dorothy Edwards PhD Director of the Violence Intervention And Prevention Center at the University Of Kentucky

Kicking back with friends, having a few drinks, hitting the clubs --- it’s all good, but it can turn terribly wrong in an instant. Here, the factors that leads to scary partying dangers --- and how to protect yourself while having a great time.

She had moved from her hometown in Texas just a few months before, and the thrill of the newness hadn’t yet worn off.

According to friends, Laura’s dream was to go to dancing school and eventually become a professional dancer. But for the moment, she was working at a shoe store and exploring the neighborhoods --- and the nightclubs. At some point during the evening, Laura’s girlfriend left the club.

Laura reportedly can be seen on the security tape dancing and laughing with a man later identified as Michael Mele. Authorities discovered Mele is a convicted level 1 sex offender with a rap sheet of sexual crimes.

Laura was reported missing the next day by her roommate, and police soon became concerned that she may have met with foul play.

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Numerous news reports described his apartment about 70 miles north of the city, had recently been cleaned and wiped down with bleach. And supposedly, a strip of carpet large enough to wrap a body in was missing. Mele also reportedly had bite and scratch marks on his hands and neck.

Too often, young women who begin an evening in high spirits have it end in peril or tragedy --- raped, killed or in bed with a stranger with no idea how they got there.

Angela Drake 25 was drinking with a new acquaintance 24 year old Michael Desalvo. Angela was a regular at the Dry Bean’s karaoke nights, but Desalvo was a new face.

The two left together and went to Desalvo’s apartment and had sex.

Then allegedly Desalvo put Angela still intoxicated and wearing only socks and a sweater into his truck and drove her to a snow swept field. He left her there in 15 degree weather. Her body was found two weeks later.

22 year old college student Kelly went out bar hopping with friends, but left them about 11: 30. She was last seen walking downtown with a man in the early hours of Saturday morning. Her body was found 16 days later. Although the police have refused to reveal the cause of death, they are reportedly treating it as a homicide.

A suspect has still not been identified.

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A deadly mix Jennifer called Talia for the last time on her cell at about 5 a.m. and said she had gotten lost but “met this nice man and he was going to help her get home,” Jennifer’s strangled body was found in a dumpster two days later.

Draymond Coleman 34, and his girlfriend Drystal Riordan 20, were arrested and charged with her murder.

The keys to staying safe A night out doesn’t have to end tragically if you set up some basic safety systems, experts insist. Friends are your best tool, says Dorothy Edwards, PhD, because it’s easier to recognize something being off if you’re one step removed.

One stay safe tactic B.F. on call: Make a male pal your designated boyfriend for the night, just in case a guy gets too pushy.

She offers these rules Discuss an explicit plan for the evening while everyone is sober. Talk about exit strategies, what to do if someone resists leaving, and a code word to alert your pals that someone’s bothering you.

Watch out for your friends, and have antennas up for sketchy behavior, like a guy ordering her new drinks too hastily --- and vice versa. “We can’t always see signs from up close,” says Edwards.

Never leave someone behind at a bar or party --- drag her out if you have to. “Or invite the guy she’s with to join the group,” Edwards says. “If he’s dangerous, he will want to be invisible and say no.”

Appoint one person the baby-sitter or designated driver for the night. It’s her job to stay sober and in control.

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Police Blotter: Perkins Police Kris Jennings, 49, disorderly conduct, intoxicated 10 p.m. 3700 block Columbus Avenue Thursday February 12

Jennings began hanging out with a group of strangers at bar. She then began yelling “You think that’s funny? You think it’s funny to touch my butt?

Man Robbed, Severely Beaten In Clyde

Clyde --- The victim --- 23 year old Cory Corbin --- told investigators he was out drinking when he agreed to return to the Maple Street home with some people he’d encountered at the bar, Clyde police chief Bruce Gower said. Once they arrived at the residence --- where two women and four or five men were hanging out --- the men began assaulting him, Corbin told police.

The group ultimately stole $300 in cash Corbin was carrying. They then forced him to change out of his bloodied clothing before dropping him off at a Clyde park, Gower said. Courtney Astolfi

Student Reports Rape At Apartment September 16, 2002 The Ann Arbor News

The woman said she went to the bar with friends, and then couldn't find them, so a man she had met offered her a ride home. She said he asked to use her bathroom, and then sexually assaulted her in her apartment.

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Woman Wounded During Hotel Shooting March 3, 2015 The Blade

Toledo Police continue to investigate a weekend shooting in which a North Toledo woman was grazed in the head.

Shortly after midnight Sunday, a group of four unidentified people were refused entry to a birthday party at the Red Roof Inn according to police.

A man from the group then fired once into the room and struck a party goer on the top of her head, police said. The suspects then fled.

Bar Owner: Student Was Incapacitated As She Left September 26, 2014 The Blade (Associated Press)

Charlottesville, Va. --- Ms. Graham went missing September 13th after a night of partying in the college town.

Michigan Man Ruled Competent For Trial August 27, 2016 The Blade

Monroe --- A man accused of killing Chelsea Bruck and raping another woman had been deemed competent to stand trial. Daniel Clay, 27 is charged with second degree murder in the death of Miss Bruck, 22. The Maybee woman was last seen leaving a party in the early morning hours of October 26th, 2014.

Warehouse Fire Survivor: ‘People were dying right in front of me’ Internet Posting: December 10, 2016

Hazards were many. It was a cluttered labyrinth built with scrap wood. Electrical cords snaked between appliances, musical equipment and lights. A set of stairs was assembled with stacked pallets and a wobbly ramp.

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Board Denies Parole For Rapist December 28, 2015 The Register

Question: What happened to Larry Taylor, the man convicted of abducting, raping and leaving a woman for dead in 1995? Pete in Sandusky

Answer: Earlier this year, a board denied parole for Taylor, who remains in a Marion prison. His next hearing to possibly have his 180 year sentence reduced is scheduled for 2025.

He’s convicted of felonious assault, kidnapping, burglary, two counts of felonious sexual penetration and three counts of rape.

Here’s an excerpt from a Register story published earlier this year providing some context to the situation: On April 2nd, 1995, a fight broke out amongst (Carrie) Caudill’s acquaintances at a West Perkins Avenue bar, so she slipped outside and began to walk away to avoid the situation.

Taylor, the bar’s doorman that night, followed Caudill as she went.

He eventually grabbed her, pulled her into an alley, bound her, and then loaded her into his vehicle. So began several hours of torture.

Taylor drove the woman to his Stacy Road home in Groton Township, and proceeded to repeatedly and violently assault her.

“He beat me, he raped me, he tortured me,” Caudill said. Taylor even raped the woman with a burning hot soddering gun --- an act he later claimed was accidental.

He eventually strangled Caudill and, thinking she was dead, dumped her in a farm field. “I went in and out of consciousness throughout the attack, but at that point I knew I had to play dead. I felt him check for my pulse on my neck.

I held my breath so he didn’t know I was (alive),” Caudill said. “I knew I had to stay alive for my kids.”

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6 Tell Tale Signs Of A Predator

Book: From Pain to Power: Overcoming Sexual Trauma & Reclaiming Your True Identity. By: Mary Ellen Mann

“My companion attacks his friends;

He violates his covenant.

His talk is smooth as butter,

Yet war is in his heart;

His words are more soothing than oil,

Yet they are drawn swords.” --- Psalm 55:20-21

How often do you hear a story about someone bringing horrible suffering into the lives of others?

Or perhaps you think about the person who brought so much trauma into your own life. The natural human response to such horror is to wonder, how can anyone do such things?

Sex offenders can look into the faces of their victims and dominate their will and individuality. The offenders are not harmed by the effects of their behavior because they carry a dark entitlement to rule another person.

Sex offenders believe that you, the victim, cannot fight and that you don’t know the difference between your person and their need to dominate you. Sociopaths seek out different types of targets, from infants to children to adolescents to adults.

The predator could be someone who assaults his date, his spouse, his co-worker, neighbors, or a younger person he has authority over as a coach, priest, youth pastor, teacher, or professor.

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Below are 6 tell-tale signs of a sexual predator.

The most important thing to sexual predators is to act coercively, persuasively and out of range of an observer.

They do this because they are addicted to being predators.

If caught, they can’t keep victimizing.

Thus, they target unsuspecting, untrained people who need them in some manner -- - for grades, for coaching or playing time, for a potential job or promotion, for family unity, for financial stability, for community acceptance.

People who prey on others look and act like everyone else. In fact, they often go out of their way to appear trustworthy to gain access to those they seek to victimize.

Let’s take a deep breath, open our minds and allow ourselves to accept that there are people who truly think and act this way.

They’re people we or our families and social groups trust or have trusted.

You’re not alone and this is your opportunity to be “wise as a serpent (grasp the cunning of the predator) and gentle as a dove (live directed by the Spirit).”

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Here are 6 tell tale signs of a sexual predator: 1. Sexual predators set the trap for their targeted victims by reassuring them that they are indispensable in meeting their needs. They volunteer their services and time. They see you as “special,” “gifted,” “talented,” and “worthy” of their one-on-one attention.

The attention they give you is swift, generous, flattering, and constant. An expectation of secrecy, which is rewarded with gifts and privileges, along with threats that telling would result in injury for those involved, or those who know, is introduced here.

This is also where sexual contact often begins.

2. Sexual predators isolate you by convincing you that others are not as “for you” as they are. You might hear one of them say, “Do you see how your family doesn’t really celebrate your accomplishments? You deserve so much more.”

“Did you see how your friend left early and didn’t even make you a priority when you were talking with her?”

3. Sexual predators feel entitled to you. Often asking the person they’re targeting for favors or developing a quid pro quo: “I helped you with your paper, now you need to give me your time on Friday night.”

These are expectations that are not arranged in advance, but, instead, are sprung on the person who is positioned to feel guilty for saying no.

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4. Sexual predators set up a double standard.

For instance, you can’t be late but they can. You can’t spend past the budget but they can.

They need you to be friendly and welcome them home at the end of the day, but they can be withdrawn, moody and unavailable.

You can’t need a break from sex, but they can demand it of you.

You can’t have a life outside of them, but they can do as they please with their time, interests and activities.

He will crowd out your legitimate wants and needs to the point where there is room for only him. You will begin to not exist.

5. Another top priority of sexual predators is to create Stockholm Syndrome in their targets. This is a sympathetic play on the target’s compassion and pity. When you don’t do his bidding (i.e., by making him your top priority), he will sulk, stalk you, harass you through social media, or even threaten suicide.

He may say you’re rejecting him “like everyone else in his life.”

A violator, once caught, has confessed to researchers, psychologists and officers of the court that his favorite part of violating you was getting you to feel sorry for him.

If you take pity on a person who has major character flaws, he will use your pity to trespass all over you, your values, your priorities and your other relationships.

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6. He lies about big things and insignificant things. Anything from what he picked up at the grocery store to his grade-point average in school to the sport he played to where he was after work.

The best wisdom here says after the person has lied to you three times, move on. Over time, the lies will become more costly and damaging.

Protect yourself from more serious violations by reading the signs early and accurately. Take the decisive action needed to remove yourself from a suspect relationship.

Remember that true love looks out for our long term best interests, has our back and gives us the benefit of the doubt.

Love has nothing to do with control, subjugation, or fear of reprisal.

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13 Characteristics Of A Date Rapist: A List You Need To Share

In response to the Steubenville rape trial, I want to share one of the most powerful lists you’ll ever read.

Before photography, I spoke around the country on the topic of sexual assault after publishing my first book, Beauty Restored: Finding Life And Hope After Date Rape.

Whenever I would read this list, the room would go silent.

And I heard the cry of my own heart as college student after college student, teen after teen, said “If only I had heard this list before I was raped.

Maybe I would have known.”

Below are thirteen characteristics of Date/acquaintance rapists. If you know someone who is displaying these characteristics, does that make them a rapist? No.

But if you know someone who is in a relationship with someone exhibiting several of these behaviors, and especially if that someone is you, you can be affirmed through this list that this person is not a safe or healthy person to be in intimate relationship with.

This is the list I wish I would have known before my own date rape. This is the list I’ve shared with thousands of youths, college students and women conferences over the last twenty years.

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Below this list, I will share how these characteristics looked in my story with the numbers of the specific characteristic inserted at different points, so you can see how this list plays out in real life.

In light of the current news, I encourage you to share these thirteen characteristics with all the young people in your life --- especially those in a place of vulnerability.

Characteristics of date/acquaintance rapists Although there is no profile of a typical date or acquaintance rapist, experts have identified behavioral characteristics that tend to be exhibited by date and acquaintance rapists.

1. Displays anger or aggression, either physically or verbally (The anger need not be directed toward you, but may be displayed during conversations by general negative references to women, vulgarity, curtness toward others, and the like. women are often viewed as adversaries.)

2. Displays a short temper; slaps and/or twists arms

3. Acts excessively jealous and/or possessive (Be especially suspicious of this behavior if you have recently met the person or are on a first or second date.)

4. Ignores your space boundaries by coming too close or placing his hand on your thigh, etc … (Be particularly cognizant of this behavior when it is displayed in public.)

5. Ignores your wishes

6. Attempts to make you feel guilty or accuses you of being uptight

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7. Becomes hostile and/or increasingly more aggressive when you say no

8. Acts particularly friendly at a party or bar and tries to separate you from your friends

9. Insists on being alone with you on a first date

10. Demands your attention or compliance at inappropriate times, such as during class.

11. Acts immaturely; shows little empathy or feeling for others and displays little social conscience

12. Asks personal questions and is interested in knowing more about you than you want to tell him

13. Subscribes excessively to traditional male and female stereotypes *excerpt from Beauty Restored: Finding Life And Hope After Date Rape and Adapted from Carol Pritchard’s book, Avoiding Rape On And Off Campus

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I met him the first week of my college freshmen orientation. He was charming, funny and a leader on campus.

He was studying to be a Youth Pastor. I had never been away from home, and due to a painful relationship with my dad, I was hungry for love and attention.

The same week, he showed up at my dorm room. I remember wondering how he knew where I lived, but pushed the question aside.

He asked if I wanted to go out on a date. I suggested a group date, but he pushed for time alone.

I ignored the uncomfortable feeling inside and agreed (#9). The older girls were excited for me. They knew him, and he was funny with everyone.

Why should I worry?

Soon after, we started dating more consistently. At first, he loved everything about me. But after a few weeks, things shifted.

I remember coming out to the dorm lobby to meet him for dinner, and he asked me why I had chosen to wear something so awful. I went back to my dorm room embarrassed, in tears, and changed my clothes.

He began telling me that my friends were talking about me and were not to be trusted (#8). I should spend more time with him, and after all, I hardly knew these new college friends.

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One day, while driving in the car, I disagreed with something he said. He grabbed my thigh and squeezed tightly. While holding my thigh and smiling, he calmly told me that I was out of line. I felt trapped and afraid, but again, I didn’t listen.

Then he let go of my leg and laughed. This was the beginning of him grabbing my thigh with an iron grip when he wanted me to pay attention (#4 and #7). If only I had known this was an actual characteristic of date rapists.

When I finally broke off the relationship, he followed me everywhere. He wanted another chance, another date, another opportunity to make up for how wrong things were going.

No matter how many times I said no, he didn’t give up.

Flowers showed up at my door, cards with confessions of love. He felt that God had brought us together.

I was being too uptight, unforgiving.

How could I not give him another chance, he asked.

The girls around me swooned. Was I making a big deal out of nothing? He would not accept no for an answer. (#5 and #6)

So I agreed to one more date, as friends, on Valentine’s Day. But after dinner, he didn’t take me back to my dorm. He took me to an abandoned parking lot.

I remember being trapped, unable to get free from the car.

I remember the moment I gave up fighting and went far away in my head to survive what was happening to my body.

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I remember him driving me back to my dorm, telling me that he’d give me a call sometime soon, with a casual smile and wave goodbye.

I remember standing in the shower with all my clothes on, shaking and crying.

I remember changing the way I dressed, so that baggy clothes and dark colors hid my shape, my joy, hid me.

I remember hearing that he had done this before. I was number four.

I remember standing in the court room. Alone. And a woman judge asking me why I didn’t just get out of the car if things were “that bad.”

I remember feeling raped a second time by the court system.

It was Valentine’s Day, over 21 years ago.

If someone would have told me about these thirteen characteristics, I may have realized my gut instinct was in fact, telling me the truth.

I may have thought twice about spending time with him. And even though everyone on campus seemed to love him, I may have given this list a second look and decided not to date him. But I never saw the list, and I was a broken nineteen year old who had zero self worth.

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Before I became a photographer, I authored the book Beauty Restored: Finding Life And Hope After Date Rape.

I spoke wherever I could at women’s conferences, college campuses, and youth groups and did over 40 national TV and radio interviews to bring awareness to a topic that is often kept quiet.

In my many years of speaking, I have witnessed how far reaching date rape is. I have held high school girls in my arms as they have sobbed uncontrollably.

I have seen junior high boys weep under the chairs of the church.

I have had grandmas confess that they have not told anyone of their rape for over 60 years. The loss in their voice, the grief, believing that swallowing the shame year after year was necessary.

These characteristics came to me after my rape. But you can share this list with friends, young people, youth groups, and college students to help prevent this horrible crime.

Awareness is the key. Awareness has the power to make all the difference.

Date/acquaintance rape is never about sex, but power. The mind often feels crazy, second guessing everything, wondering if you are making a big deal out of nothing.

And too often, I have found that the victim has been deprived of healthy love to know the difference. But we can change that. With our culture struggling to know how to respond to rape, you can have a powerful conversation with the young people you know. Working together, we can stop the shame and confusion. And even speak a word of hope to the one who is already hurting in silence. Me Ra Koh

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Steubenville Verdict Due Today Teen accuser recalls ordeal as trial ends March 17, 2013 The Blade (Block News Alliance)

Steubenville, Ohio --- In a soft voice, a 16 year old high school student told Saturday of waking up scared and naked in an unfamiliar house after a night of drinking last summer. Much to her horror, she soon realized her troubles would grow only worse. Mark Belko

Stanford Victim’s Letter Gets Attention June 9, 2016 The Blade (Associated Press)

San Francisco --- She was attacked as she lay unconscious behind a dumpster in January 2015, after drinking at a fraternity party, authorities said. She said she did not remember the assault.

Women Tell Their Tales Of Being Touched For The Very First Time Whip Smart: A Memoir: Like A Virgin

Initially, Kincaid’s intention was to publish only humorous and entertaining essays, but then she received a devastating submission from a woman who lost her virginity to a date rapist.

“When I read the story, she says, “I knew it was one that should be included, some might choose to dispose of their virginity in a manner that seems fairly careless, some don’t get to choose at all.” Melissa Febos

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The Most Important Thing To Give And Receive In Sex Leslie Kantor, PhD Vice President of Education, Planned Parenthood [email protected]

Consent should always be at the forefront of conversation about sex, and it’s important to know exactly what it means.

Consent means that both people feel good and are excited about what’s happening and aren’t just letting something happen.

Both people are clear about what’s going to happen next, and are happy about it.

Each partner is checking in with one another before any sexual activity occurs and throughout to make sure both people want to continue.

Sexual assault is any sexual contact without consent, and unfortunately it happens too often.

The truth is, many people simply don’t know how to talk about consent.

People rarely learn about consent in school or from their parents, and we almost never see movies or TV shows where people talk about what they want or don’t want to do before things get physical.

We don’t have enough examples of what consent looks like or skill building about how to communicate, so it’s no wonder there’s confusion.

So how do you know if you have consent from another person?

Giving and getting consent is as easy as “FRIES.”

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Freely given

Doing something sexual with someone is a decision that should be made without pressure, force, manipulation, or while drunk or high.

If a person is drunk, high, don’t know” is not consent.

Without a freely given and clear “yes,” you do not have consent and sexual activity should not happen. Reversible “Everyone has the right to say ‘no’ to anything at any time or change their mind about what they want to do.”

Yes, even if you’ve been sexually active with this person before or are in the middle of having sex.

It’s not enough to get consent one time --- you need consent every time, throughout. So if someone says “stop” you need to stop immediately.

Informed

Be honest and open with your partner both about what you do and don’t want to do, and about using birth control and have safer sex.

You should also let partners know if you’re sexually active with other people.

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Enthusiastic

The only way to know if you have consent is if the person you are with is enthusiastically saying “yes” in a way that is totally clear to you.

Not sure?

Ask.

Don’t get a “yes?”

Stop.

If someone isn’t into it you shouldn’t have sex with them.

Specific

Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean someone has said yes to other things (like oral sex).

That’s why you need to talk with your partner before and during sexual activity to make sure you’re both comfortable.

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Watch Drink Avoid Rape April 15, 2002 Detroit Free Press

Dear Ann Landers: I was recently a victim of date rape. I attended a campus party, and a so-called friend offered me a drink. I accepted without a second thought.

A few minutes later, I began to feel odd. I woke up the next morning in my dorm room, undressed and there was evidence that I had been intimate with someone.

Please warn your readers, Ann never to accept a drink from anyone at a party. Women should drink only from cans or bottles they opened themselves and should keep an eye on their drinks at all times. Coed In Virginia

Dear Coed: There are some unscrupulous predators out there, and it pays to be vigilant.

The ground rules are as follows: Do not accept any drink that is already poured or comes from a can or bottle that has been opened.

Do not take a drink from a punch bowl.

Do not let go of your drink until you are done.

If you notice one of your friends acting strangely, keep an eye on the situation, and if necessary, offer to escort her home (And please remember that too much alcohol, even without added drugs, can lead to problems.)

Girls Survival Guide

GHB is a colorless and odorless drug that can make a victim unconscious within 20 minutes. Victims frequently have no memory of what happened and the drug is difficult to trace, often leaving the body within 24 hours. GHB has been linked to at least 58 deaths since 1990, and more than 5, 700 recorded overdoses.

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Bar Owner: Student Was Incapacitated As She Left September 26, 2014 The Blade (Associated Press)

Charlottesville, Va. --- The owner of a bar where a missing University Of Virginia student was last seen with a man charged in her abduction says she could barely walk that night without the man’s support.

Mr. Matthew briefly re-entered the bar, ordered what credit card records suggest were two beers, and rejoined Ms. Graham outside. The bar’s door monitor told police they walked off with Mr. Matthew’s arm around her for support, he said.

Lourdes Student Says She Was Drugged October 2, 2014 The Blade

A 19 year old Lourdes University student reported she was drugged during a party at the university's apartments.

Sylvania police Captain Rick Schnoor said the woman reported September 22nd that the incident happened about 10: 30 p.m. September 19th inside one of the buildings at Lourdes Commons, the university's residential quarters at the corner of Brint and McCord roads.

Captain Schnoor said the victim felt ill while attending a party and received medical treatment. Although no one was physically injured, he said, a report of someone being drugged is considered an assault because the person was harmed.

He could not say whether the victim knew the suspect.

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Police Blotter: Put In Bay Police 10: 07 a.m. Mojioto Bay Friday June 20

Two women said they were drugged. They said they did not remember the rest of the day after a group of strangers asked to take their picture.

Alleged Roofie Rapist Arrested August 29, 2014 The Register

Put-In-Bay --- The manager of Mr. Ed's Bar And Grill in Put In Bay was indicted on two counts of rape Wednesday, his attorney said.

Chris Blessing, 32, of Port Clinton, pleaded not guilty during his arraignment Thursday in Ottawa County Common Pleas Court.

He is charged with raping a woman after she told authorities she lost consciousness one night in early May when they were out drinking on the island, and gained consciousness during the alleged rape.

Blessing and his attorney, Tom DeBacco, say the allegations are false. DeBacco told The Register several witnesses saw Blessing and the woman flirting the night of the alleged rape. They were seen in public and according to one witness, her lipstick was all over his face,” DeBacco said.

According to the report, the woman told Ottawa County Detective Amanda Cross she took several shots of alcohol during stops at four island bars. They then went back to Mr. Ed's, the woman said, where she went unconscious for under an hour, the report said.

She said she felt as though she could not move once she gained consciousness, the report said, and the next day she could not sleep and did not have an appetite while feeling the opposite of how she feels when hung-over. Alex Green

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Former NFL Safety Darren Sharper Appears In Los Angeles Superior Court

(APS) --- Former NFL star Darren Sharper was sentenced Tuesday to 20 years in prison for drugging and raping two women in Los Angeles, capping a case in which the athlete was accused of attacking more than a dozen women across the country.

Sharper was sentenced as part of a plea deal he reached last year --- a “global resolution” that his attorneys said helped resolve sexual assault cases filed against him in multiple states.

“I can only imagine myself lying there like a vegetable while he took advantage of my body without my permission,” one of the victims said in a downtown Los Angeles courtroom on Tuesday.

“I have lost every bit of self confidence I've ever had and am always in fear while alone. It doesn't matter whether it's day or night, I can see a guy and automatically in my head think, 'What if this guy tries to rape me?”

Superior Court Judge Michael E. Pastor noted the statements she and another victim gave as he sentenced Sharper.

“I daresay that I cannot speak more eloquently or passionately about the horrible misconduct of Mr. Sharper and the unfathomable effect he has had on the two alleged victims,” the judge said. “I think their individual statements speak volumes as to this disgraceful abuse of trust and the behavior of Mr. Sharper.”

Superior Court Judge Michael E. Pastor noted the statements she and another victim gave as he sentenced Sharper.

After Los Angeles authorities arrested Sharper on suspicion of sexual assault in January 2014, women in other cities came forward, alleging similar attacks.

The former New Orleans Saints safety has been convicted of drugging and raping nine women in Los Angeles, Nevada, Arizona and Louisiana.

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In August, a federal judge in New Orleans sentenced him to more than 18 years for the attacks. The judge said a federal pre-sentencing report indicated there were 16 victims. The sentence in Los Angeles is to be served at the same time as others around the country.

Sharper, a five-time Pro Bowler and a Super Bowl winner who retired in 2011, went on to work as an analyst for the NFL Network until his arrest in Los Angeles.

He pleaded no contest in March 2015 to the Los Angeles charges accusing him of drugging and raping two women. Details about the allegations are laid out in police reports obtained by The Times.

One woman told LAPD detectives about an Oct. 30th, 2013 incident at a Century City hotel, according to one of the reports. She said she was introduced to Sharper through a mutual friend.

About 2 a.m., the woman told detectives that Sharper asked if she would go with him to his hotel “so he could get something.” The woman said she went with Sharper to the hotel in an Uber car.

Inside the hotel room, Sharper poured her a drink, the woman told police. Sharper was “insistent that she drink it,” according to the report. She said she did not recall anything after going to the restroom.

The next morning, the woman told police, she woke up naked, with Sharper on top of her. The woman said she felt groggy and told Sharper that she had to leave, but told police that he “continued having sex with her,” the report said.

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Two other women told detectives about an incident a few months later, on Jan. 15th, 2014, after they met Sharper at a nightclub, according to police reports.

The women said Sharper gave them a ride to a party at a Hollywood Hills home, after which he invited them to another party.

But first, he told them, he “had to go to his hotel room and pick something up,” according to the report.

When the three arrived at Sharper's hotel room, the women told police that Sharper made them vodka and cranberry shots, which he had mixed while they were in the bathroom.

The women told police they initially declined, “but Sharper kept asking them to take the shots.”

“The shots didn't taste like normal vodka shots,” the women told police.

The women told detectives they blacked out within 10 minutes of drinking and woke up the next morning on a pullout bed in the living room.

One of the women said she felt pain in her vagina; the other “couldn't remember anything.” Times staff writers Richard Winton and Kate Mather

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Real Housewives Stars Drugged By A Fan!

Stranger danger! The Real Housewives Of Orange County’s Tamra Barney and new cast member Peggy Tanous learned the hard way that you should never accept drinks from someone you don’t know.

The duo --- along with cast mate Vicki Gunvalson and Real Housewife Of New York City Ramona Singer --- were having a great time with fans at a NYC bar recently when a middle aged man approached them with “special drinks” explains Ramona.

“Tamra drank only part of her drink, but Peggy drank all of it, poor thing” Tamra believes she “got roofied” --- referring to the date rape drug Rohypnol --- because within 30 minutes, she says, she and Peggy “got very sick and passed out on the floor of the hotel lobby bathroom. I woke up at 5.a.m. not knowing how I got there.

I am mad at myself for drinking that drink. I knew better!

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 5: 13 a.m. 1000 block West Washington Street Tuesday August 9

Man thought woman and her friend put ecstasy in his drink.

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Rape Victim Released From Quatari Jail June 15, 2016 The Blade

Dubai, United Arab Emirates --- A Dutch woman jailed in Qatar for nearly three months after telling police she had been raped there was released on Monday after receiving a one year suspended prison sentence, a Dutch diplomat said.

The 22 year old woman was on vacation and was drinking at a hotel bar.

Her lawyer says the woman thinks somebody “messed with her drink.”

She woke up alone with her clothes torn.

The man she accused of raping her was arrested. But so was she.

In Qatar, it is illegal to have sex out of wedlock.

Special Investigation: Girls Were Offered 'thigh opener' Sedative July 13, 2015 The ENQUIRER

Former bunny Jill Ann Spaulding sensationally claimed Hef gave sedatives to the girls in his limo to help them shed their inhibitions.

Holly Madison lived in the mansion from 2001 to 2008, spending several years as Girlfriend #1. She claimed Hef offered her a Quaalude as a “thigh opener” the first night he met her at a club.

Bill Cosby, once a regular Playboy visitor, has been accused in a lawsuit of assaulting Judy Huth at the mansion in 1974 when she was 15. The comedian has denied the claims.

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McCaskill Backs Push To Revoke Medal From Cosby July 17, 2015 La Prensa-Ohio

St. Louis, July 9, 2015 (AP): U.S. Senator Claire McCaskill of Missouri says she supports efforts to have President Barack Obama revoke Bill Cosby's Presidential Medal Of Freedom.

The Promoting Awareness Victim Empowerment advocacy group launched the campaign Wednesday, saying it is working with women who have accused Cosby of drugging and sexually assaulting them.

In newly unsealed documents, Cosby testified in 2005 he obtained Quaaludes with the intent of giving them to women before sex.

President George W. Bush presented the nation's highest civilian honor to Cosby in 2002, citing his revolutionary portrayal of blacks on television and his interest and dedication to education.

McCaskill, a Democrat, says she doesn't believe that somebody who has admitted to doing what he said he did merits a medal, and that “he probably deserves to go to prison.”

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Cosby Admits Affairs In Deposition Details July 20, 2015 The Blade

New York --- The portrait comes from Mr. Cosby’s own words in a transcript of a 2005-06 deposition taken in Philadelphia.

It is the only publicly available testimony he has given in response to accusations that he drugged and sexually assaulted dozens of women over four decades.

In his testimony, the comedian told of how he tried to gain women’s trust and make them comfortable by talking about their families, their education, and their career aspirations. He seemed casual about his affairs, describing his relationship with one woman this way: “We had sex, and we had dinners, and sex, and rendezvous.” Asked how it ended, he said: “Stopped calling for rendezvous.” Why? “Just moving on.”

Bill Cosby: Will He Go To Prison? January 18, 2016 PEOPLE

Bill Cosby seemed to be feeling every one of his 78 years as he inched his way into a Pennsylvania courtroom on December 30th to be charged with drugging and sexually assaulting a woman nearly 12 years ago.

The comedian, who says in court documents that he is legally blind, was supported by two of his lawyers and carried a cane. Yet his lead attorney, Monique Pressley, dismissed any notion her client isn’t strong enough for what promises to be a grueling legal battle. “Make no mistake,” she said. “We intend to mount a vigorous defense against this unjustified charge.”

While more than 50 women have accused Cosby of drugging or sexually abusing them, or both, this is the first time he’s been criminally charged. No one was more surprised than Andrea Constand, the alleged victim, when authorities reopened her case last summer. “This is not something she sought out,” a source close to Constand tells PEOPLE exclusively.

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“The D.A.’s office came to her.” Constand was a 30 year old Temple University basketball administrator in 2004 when, she alleges, Cosby gave her pills at his house and sexually abused her while she faded in and out of consciousness.

The prosecutor at the time didn’t charge Cosby, citing a lack of evidence.

Kevin Steele, Montgomery County’s newly elected district attorney, says his department reopened the investigation after Cosby’s deposition in Constand’s long settled civil suit against him became public last July. Cosby’s admission that he obtained Quaaludes for women he wanted to have sex with was a “significant” factor, Steele says.

Will Cosby be convicted? A key issue will be whether a judge allows other women who say he abused them to testify. “I think if it’s just the one victim, it’s a not guilty,” says Rich DeSipio, a defense attorney and former sex crimes prosecutor.

“If other victims are allowed to testify, he’ll be found guilty.” The aggravated indecent assault charge carries a maximum sentence of 10 years.

Meanwhile, Constand, who lives in Toronto and revealed in court papers last year that she’s gay, is coping with a new round of scrutiny.

“She’s grateful for all the support she’s gotten but does get upset when misinformation is printed about her,” says the source close to her.

“She’s not comfortable in the public spotlight, but she will continue to cooperate.” Nicole Weisensee Egan with Elizabeth Leonard

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EEOC Releases Online Tools To Educate Youth About Discrimination September 28, 2012 La Prensa-Ohio

Washington DC --- The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) released a video and accompanying classroom guides to educate working age students about sexual harassment and other forms of employment discrimination.

These tools were developed as part of EEOC's Youth @ Work, an effort to educate U.S. America's youth about their employment rights and responsibilities and help employers create positive work experiences for young adults.

The tools are free to the public and are posted online at www.youth.eeoc.gov under “free downloads.” Educators may request the video and classroom guides by e-mailing [email protected]

The video and the classroom guides provide a series of vignettes to help teenagers entering the work force understand some of the issues they may face. The vignettes show typical workplace settings for teens, such as a retail store and a fast food restaurant. The classroom guides help teachers and students identify illegal discrimination and harassment.

EEOC will provide one copy of the video and one set of classroom guides per person, while supplies last.

The EEOC developed Youth @ Work in 2004 to help educate teens about their rights and responsibility at work and to help employers create positive work experiences for young adults. Since then, the federal agency has hosted nearly 6, 600 Youth @ Work events nationwide, reaching over 400, 000 students, education professionals, and employers.

Further information about Youth @ Work is available online at http://www.youth.eeoc.gov/

The EEOC enforces federal laws prohibiting employment discrimination. Further information about the EEOC is available on its website at www.eeoc.gov

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Today's Topic: Equal Employment Our View: No, Sexual Harassment Isn't Dead, As San Diego Mayor Is Proving August 23, 2013 USA Today

The EEOC doesn't keep statistics on where abuse is occurring, but Feldblum's experience and a cruise through EEOC files suggests it is centered these days in male dominated workplaces and in low wage jobs, often with young workers.

Consider, for example, the 89 women, many of them teenagers, who worked for a Burger King franchisee and charged that they were subjected to harassment, including “exposure of genitalia, strip searches, stalking and even rape,” often by managers.

Some were fired when they complained.

Others quit.

The company, in a consent decree in January, admitted no wrongdoing but agreed to pay $2.5 million in damages and lost wages.

Or the eight former workers of a Florida travel agency that were touched and repeatedly propositioned for sex.

A male manager who tried to help them was fired.

In April, a jury awarded the victims $20 million in back pay and damages.

Or the Hispanic kitchen workers, many of whom spoke no English, who charged that their male bosses at a Las Vegas resort forced them to perform sexual acts under the threat of being fired.

The resort finally agreed to pay them $850, 000 in 2007, after the EEOC sued.

The agency's files are full: Women have filed an average of 6, 500 harassment complaints a year since 2010. And those are just the ones who decided to make a federal case out of it.

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Stanford Victim’s Letter Gets Attention Woman assaulted while unconscious June 9, 2016 The Blade (Associated Press)

San Francisco --- Her widely shared statement has been held up as a must read for boys and young men.

BuzzFeed and the Washington Post posted it online, and CNN’s Ashleigh Banfield read nearly its entirety on the air.

Dear Miss Manners: I made a blunder by going out with a friend, and as one thing led to another; I ended up kissing and caressing her.

I thought she was into it but then she suddenly got up and abruptly ended it all.

I apologized for what happened. But she said I have taken advantage of her. I said I wasn’t.

My only probable reason to her was I got carried away by the romantic notion of the encounter.

I felt very bad for my actions and I could feel her cold and unenthusiastic response when I call her, unlike before.

I want to make amends and hope we can be friends again. I am married with no children. Miss Manners, what would be your advice?

Gentle Reader: Miss Manners’ advice is for you to keep your hands off the telephone and everything else.

Otherwise, the next advice you seek should be on the legal, rather than the etiquette, aspect of your behavior. www.missmanners.com

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Bad Judges: The Victim Blamer (Judge Jeanine Howard) Dallas, Texas Most jurists warrant our respect. Then there are those who shake public trust. November 2014 Reader's Digest

Contrary to his name, Dallas high school student Sir Young was anything but a gentleman. In 2011, the 18 year old raped a teenage girl at the school they both attended. The girl's family notified police, Young was arrested, and in 2013, he came before Judge Jeanine Howard in his criminal trial.

He pleaded guilty, admitting that the girl had repeatedly told him “No” and “Stop” and the prosecutor pushed for a five year prison sentence. Young, who had another rape case pending (brought by another classmate), was sentenced by Howard to only 45 days in jail, and followed by five years of probation and 250 hours of community service --- at the Dallas Area Rape Crisis Center.

When Bobbie Villareal, the center's executive director, heard that the judge had ordered a convicted rapist to volunteer there, she was livid. “We're a safe place for victims,” she says.

“It's like telling a pedophile to go work in a day care.” Howard changed Young's community service order, but in the newspaper interview, she defended her original sentence. The victim, she said, “is not the victim she claims to be,” nor is Young “your typical sex offender.”

She based her reasoning in part on her understanding that the girl had had three prior sexual partners and had already given birth. (The girl's family adamantly denies both of the claims).

Not only were Howard's remarks distasteful, but they also may have been illegal. In Texas, as in many other states, “rape shield laws” prohibit a rape victim's sexual history from being considered as evidence.

If Howard gave Young a short jail sentence and probation because she thought the girl was promiscuous, she might have done so in violation of the law. The victim's mother has reportedly filed a complaint with the State Commission On Judicial Conduct; the trial for Young's next rape case is scheduled to start this month.

Meanwhile, Howard is running for re-election this fall --- un-opposed. Derek Burnett

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Four Ex-Vanderbilt Players Plead Not Guilty Of Rape August 22, 2013 USA Today (The Nashville Tennessean)

Four former Vanderbilt football players pleaded not guilty Wednesday to charges that they raped an unconscious 21 year old woman in a campus dorm this summer.

None of the four appeared in Davidson County (Tenn.) Criminal Court but entered their pleas through their attorneys.

Meanwhile, in a separate courtroom Vanderbilt wide receiver Chris Boyd, charged as an accessory after the fact in the case, pleaded not guilty.

Boyd, who has been suspended from the team pending review, also waived his appearance.

Brandon Vandenburg, Cory Batey, Brandon Eric Banks and Jaborian McKenzie each is charged with five counts of aggravated rape and two counts of aggravated sexual battery.

Vandenburg, who remains in jail, also is charged with one count of unlawful photography and tampering with evidence. Duane W. Gang & Adam Tamburin

Off Color Signs Not Welcome At OSU August 21, 2016 The Blade

Columbus --- Freshmen were moving in this weekend at Ohio State University, and neighborhood leaders don’t want a repeat of the lewd signs that greeted newcomers last year at some off campus house. Signs such as, “Fathers, drop your daughters off here.”

Ohio started a program called BuckeyesACT last year that requires all students to take three training sessions on preventing and responding to sexual violence.

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Gathering Aims To Combat Campus Sexual Assaults February 26, 2016 The Register

Columbus --- Ohio education officials are gathering ideas from state and national experts for improving sexual violence prevention and response on college campuses.

Their summit Thursday at Columbus State Community College was organized through the state Changing Campus Culture initiative. All of Ohio’s public institutions and several private ones were signed up.

The Ohio Department Of Higher Education launched Changing Campus Culture last gall amid concerns that, despite existing programs, almost 150 sexual assaults were reported on Ohio’s public campuses alone in 2014.

The initiative provides resources and guidance for combating the problem to both public and private colleges and universities, whether two or four year.

A 2015 survey found almost a quarter of undergraduate women at more than two dozen participating universities reported experiencing unwanted sexual contact sometime during college.

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Recall Of Judge In Rape Case Pursued Former Stanford University swimmer’s 6 month sentence drawing outcry as too lenient June 11, 2016 The Blade

Mr. Shallman has worked for the president of the California Senate, who spearheaded passage of a law requiring colleges and universities to apply a “yes means yes” standard in sexual misconduct cases.

Campus Rapes September 30, 2014 The Blade

Police discovered as many as 17 sexual assault victims whose cases never were reported to federal education officials --- a gross violation of a law that requires colleges to count and report crimes on and near their campuses.

What happened at Elizabeth City State is one of many examples of what’s wrong with the Clery Act, a complicated law fraught with loopholes that can allow colleges to make their campuses and neighborhoods look safer than they really are.

The law --- inspired by the slaying of Lehigh University freshman Jeanne Clery, who was unaware of a rash of burglaries in her dorm in 1986 prior to her death --- was enacted in 1991 to alert students to dangers on campus, but it often fails at its core mission, a joint investigation by the Columbus Dispatch and the Student Press Law Center found.

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California Passes Bill Changing Consent Mandate For College Rape Investigations August 29, 2014 The Register

Sacramento, California --- State lawmakers on Thursday passed a bill that would make California the first state to define when “yes” means “yes” while investigating sexual assaults on college campuses.

The Senate unanimously passed SB967 as states and universities across the U.S. are under pressure to change how they handle rape allegations. The bill now goes to Governor Jerry Brown, who has not indicated his stance on the bill. Senator Kevin de Leon, D-Los Angeles, said his bill would begin a paradigm shift in how California campuses prevent and investigate sexual assault.

Rather than using the refrain “No Means No,” the definition of consent under the bill requires “an affirmative, conscious and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity.” Earlier versions of the bill had similar language.

“With this measure, we will lead the nation in bringing standards and protocols across the board so we can create an environment that's healthy, that's conducive for all students, not just for women, but for young men as well too, so young men can develop healthy patterns and boundaries as they age with the opposite sex,” deLeon said before the vote.

Silence or lack of resistance does not constitute consent. The legislation says it's also not consent if the person is drunk, drugged, unconscious or asleep.

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Campus Rapes September 30, 2014 The Blade

One is too many It takes only one unreported incident for a college to violate the law.

At Urbana University, a female student reported she had been gang raped by three male students in March 2012.

A nine page report from the Urban city police department details the sexual assault that happened in a dorm.

After a three month investigation, no criminal charges were filed, partly because of a reluctant victim.

Urbana University reported zero sexual assaults in 2012 --- just as it had done the previous 11 years.

At least one student has filed a federal complaint against Toledo for its handling of her rape case. The student, who as a victim of a sex related crime is not identified by The Blade, said the university belittled her allegations that a male student --- and once a good friend --- raped her in his apartment near campus in September 2013.

The 23 year old woman had four beers and fell asleep on the man’s couch. Later, she accepted an offer to join him in bed.

She had stayed there before with no problems. But this time, she woke in the night and saw him putting on a condom. She was still drunk.

“It happened so fast, it felt like an out of body experience, like I was watching it but trying to stop it at the same time,” she said. She fought.

She said no, over and over. He didn’t stop, she said.

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Dear Abby: I’m a girl in my early teens. Recently I attended a family gathering at my grandparents’ home. While I was upstairs alone, my 14 year old cousin “Jared” asked to see my boobs. When I told him no, he immediately made me promise not to tell anyone.

I’m afraid of Jared now and I need help. What should I do? Freaked Out In Indiana

Dear Freaked Out: Some promises are supposed to be kept. Others can be dangerous. It is important to know the difference.

What you should do is tell your mother what happened. Jared’s parents need to be aware so they can talk to him about appropriate behavior because his wasn’t, and he could land in serious trouble if he doesn’t learn about boundaries. www.dearabby.com

Police Blotter: Erie County Sheriff 4: 35 p.m. 12700 block Ohio 13 Wednesday June 4

Young boy grabbed girl inappropriately on school bus.

Police Blotter: Erie County Sheriff 8: 38 a.m. 2800 block Columbus Avenue Wednesday March 9

Boy sent inappropriate photos to other students.

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Young People Ask … How Can I Deal With Sexual Harassment? January 2013 Awake!

“In middle school,” says Coretta, “boys would pull on the back of my bra and make derogatory comments --- like how much better I would feel once I had sex with them.”

Dear Abby: I’m a female in my mid 20’s. I have recently hired a personal trainer at my local gym. So far, it isn’t working out as I had hoped.

My trainer isn’t really training me. He spends half the time trying to flirt. He says we could have a great time together when we aren’t in session.

I’ve recently heard he does this with most of his female clients. I am a nice person, but it’s getting out of hand. What do I do? Should I tell his boss? Still Out Of Shape In Alabama

Dear Still Out: Do not report your trainer to his boss immediately. Talk to him first. Tell him that when he flirts it makes you uncomfortable, and you prefer to keep your relationship with him strictly professional.

However, if he continues after that, you should not only report it to his boss, but should also hire another trainer. www.dearabby.com

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Police Investigate Alleged Sex Assault July 30, 2013 The Register

An Erie County prosecutor is reviewing possible sexual assault charges against a 14 year old Vermillion boy. Vermillion police received information about an alleged sexual assault at about 11 p.m. in the 4900 block of Oakview Drive.

The alleged victim was a 16 year old girl who was with the boy in a garage.

According to a Vermillion police officer, the boy was trying to kiss and touch the girl inappropriately, when a friend walked by the garage.

The friend told officers she saw the boy's hands wrapped around the victim's neck, and the boy was attempting to sexually assault her, according to police.

“It's a case of he said, she said,” one officer said. The case was forwarded to the Erie County juvenile prosecutor's office to decide on possible charges.

Police Blotter: Erie County Sheriff 1: 37 a.m. 7000 block Kalahari Drive Sunday June 5

Man grabbed woman’s breasts, butt while walking her to hotel room.

Police Blotter: Put In Bay Police 1: 30 a.m. 300 block Bayview Avenue Sunday July 21

Two men arguing at boat dock, one said he was upset because another man touched his buttocks while he was waiting in line.

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Police Blotter: Put In Bay Police 6: 29 p.m. 200 block Erie Street Saturday July 20

Woman said man took her hand and put it on his genitals at a swim up bar.

Man Arrested For Grabbing Woman In Meijer May 4, 2016 The Register

Sandusky --- A Sandusky man was arrested for grabbing a woman’s buttocks in Meijer, and is believed to have done the same thing to other women at Wal-Mart. Edward Usselman, 19, was charged with sexual imposition Tuesday morning.

He said “he did not think it was that important if he did touch someone else,” the police report stated. According to Ohio law, any unwanted sexual contact is unlawful. During his interview with police, Usselman further admitted sexually assaulting other women, the report stated.

Court: Officer Fired For Sexting Should Get Job Back February 27, 2016 The Register

Cleveland --- An appeals court has ruled that a Cleveland police officer fired for sending thousands of sexually explicit texts to female crime victims should get his job. Detective Vincent Lucarelli was fired in January 2013 after an internal affairs investigation found that Lucarelli had committed numerous department violations that included the text messages and having contact with women at their homes while on duty and inside his police car.

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Air Force Officer Accused Of Groping May 7, 2013 The Blade

Arlington, Va. --- An Air Force officer who led the branch's Sexual Assault Prevention And Response unit has been charged with groping a woman in a parking lot. Arlington County Police said Monday that they charged Lt. Col. Jeffrey Krusinski with misdemeanor sexual battery following an alleged assault about 12: 30 a.m. Sunday in the Crystal City section of the county.

A police report says that Colonel Krusinski, 41, was drunk and grabbed a woman's breast and buttocks. Air Force spokesman Natasha Waggoner said Colonel Krusinski was removed from his position in the sexual assault unit after the Air Force learned of his arrest.

Koebel’s Improper Touching Charge Dismissed April 29, 2016 The Register

Fremont --- A state court on Wednesday dismissed a misdemeanor charge against a Fremont City councilman accused of inappropriately touching a city employee.

Elected official Mike Koebel no longer faces a disorderly conduct offense after he allegedly held recreation superintendent Molly White in a way which made her feel uncomfortable. A police report indicates Koebel in mid-February walked into the city’s recreation center and went behind an employee counter.

He approached White, and placed his hand around her pregnant belly. Andy Ouriel

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Akron Mayor Admits Improper Actions June 6, 2015 The Register

Cleveland --- The recently appointed mayor of Akron said Friday he acted inappropriately with a city employee when she tried to congratulate him on his new job and he will not seek election this fall as he had previously announced.

Garry Moneypenny, who was council president before being sworn in as mayor Sunday, said at a news conference in Akron he “turned a goodbye hug into a too personal encounter.” I have known this employee for over 14 years,” Moneypenny said. “We have always had a very professional relationship.

And I clearly violated a professional and personal boundary.”

Local School Custodian Allegedly Exposes His Genitals To A Co-Worker May 20, 2016 The Register

Perkins Township --- A Perkins Schools custodian allegedly exposed himself to a co-worker and showed her a video of himself masturbating.

The alleged victim, who is employed with the Perkins Schools maintenance staff, said Corey Laughlin’s, inappropriate behavior occurred on two different days this month.

On the afternoon of May 5th, both she and Laughlin were in the Meadowlawn School boiler room when she heard an unusual noise coming from his direction.

“She turned around and observed Corey striking his penis on the desk,” the report stated.

The woman told Laughlin she was embarrassed and walked out of the room. She later informed police she didn’t know what to do about the situation. Courtney Astolfi

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Spanking Crosses The Line During Sibling Roughhousing

Dear Abby: My grandson “Kyle” is in his early 20’s, 6 foot 1 and weighs about 230. His sister is a very sweet 15 year old and a devoted churchgoer.

At a recent family get together, they were goofing around and he got her down on the floor on her stomach, sat on her knees to hold her down, and proceeded to reach his hand into her trousers to jerk her panties up and out of her pants. He then pulled her pants down almost to the bottom of her buttocks and spanked her.

The whole time, I was trying to get Kyle to stop acting so disrespectfully to his sister, but he ignored me. This happened in front of several people, including my husband, a male cousin in his 40’s and the kids’ great aunt.

I was shocked and I’m still angry. Kyle’s aunt agrees with me and wonders whether molestation is involved. Is this normal behavior between brothers and sisters?

Are we old fashioned? Are we overreacting? Shocked In The South

Dear Shocked: While I don’t think that what happened was molestation, Kyle’s behavior was extremely inappropriate.

I can only guess how humiliated that poor girl was. I can’t imagine why anyone would allow it to happen without putting a stop to it.

Kyle is an adult, even though he acts like a 13 year old.

What he did amounted to an assault of a minor, which at his age could land him in the pokey, and he needs to be “reminded” of that fact. www.dearabby.com

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Buckeyes Behind Bars: Man Attacked And Spanked 16 Year Old Girl August 22, 2012 Vol. 2 No. 46

A Park Ridge man was ordered held in jail on $250, 000 bond on Thursday after police say he assaulted a 16 year old girl the previous day.

Anthony M. Nugent, 37, has been charged with felony aggravated battery and possession of cannabis following the assault on a 16 year old female who was walking in the 900 block of S. Home Avenue in Park Ridge at around 5 p.m. Wednesday, police said.

Authorities said Nugent approached the teen and asked her what she was carrying in her black case. The girl responded that it was a musical instrument and continued walking, police said.

Nugent followed the teen and began acting aggressively when she refused to show him the instrument, police said. “He continued to harass and badger the victim,” said Police Commander Jason Leavitt.

Investigators said Nugent then grabbed the teen by the neck and head and threw her to the ground. The struggle ensued between the girl and Nugent and during the struggle, Nugent grabbed at her shorts and ripped them, police said.

He then struck her several times on the buttocks with his hand, police said.

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My Hard Core Obsession November 2011 Gentleman’s Quarterly

Threesomes, Fishnets, Dirty Talk --- those are the vanilla sorts of fantasies we admit to. Then there’s the truly filthy porn we actually watch when we’re alone. Shalom Auslander decided to track down the movies that made him feel very good and then very bad about himself.

And soon discovered that everyone has his guiltiest pleasure.

XXX I was raised in an Orthodox Jewish household in New York, where the Old Testament was believed to be the literal word of the Almighty God and where we obeyed, as closely as we could, all 613 commandments elucidated within its holy pages. To us, God was not simply a concept, but a very real, everyday presence in our lives and our community.

Which is to say, I know pornography. Hard-core, graphic pornography.

My father had it buried beneath his mattress. My brother had it hidden under his dresser. Pornography, like God Himself, was everywhere.

Sex was dirty. Pornography was worse.

The really bad news was this: God, my rabbis told me, could only grant me forgiveness for the sins I had committed against Him; sins I had committed against my fellow humans could only be forgiven by them personally. If they didn’t forgive me, my rabbis said, when I died and went to heaven, God would cause me to suffer in the exact way I had caused them to suffer.

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At the time, though only 14 years of age, I had already tired of the porn magazines I found in my house and decided it was time for full motion video. I went to Times Square, where a group of women stood outside a porn shop, protesting and carrying placards. On one placard was a picture of a naked woman tied to a bed. She had a ball gag in her mouth and clamps on her nipples. I ducked into the store, spent every dollar I’d stolen from my father’s wallet, hurried home, and hoped the videos wouldn’t work.

They worked. F*&%

I wondered what was wrong with me. I wondered how many gang bangs I would have to suffer in heaven. Was it like an eye for an eye --- a gang bang for a gang bang that never ended? Would I be anally violated? Would I be spanked? Did they have ropes and ball gags and Ron Jeremy in heaven?

I decided to watch them again. If I did, and they didn’t work for me, surely I would be forgiven. I watched them again. F*&%

It has been a guilt filled few decades. A while back, I read that a pornographer named Max Hardcore, having been convicted of obscenity charges two years earlier, was serving time in a federal prison in Texas.

A few Googles later, I learned that over the course of his career, Max had made hundreds of films, ranging from the mildly rough in his early years to the truly disturbing before his conviction. A few more Googles later and I was watching one of his scenes.

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Ext. --- Somewhere in California --- Day. Open on wooden deck. A bright yellow couch. Max and his co-star appear. Max wears his trademark cowboy hat, white tube socks, and nothing else. The woman wears a ponytail and pink high heels. She lies supine on the couch, legs spread, her head tilted back over the armrest, mouth open. This video seemed to be about a 5 on the Max Hardcore 1 to 10 scale of F*&%ed Upitude.

Still, it was shocking. It was outrageous.

I didn’t want it to work. It worked. F*&%

It wasn’t any one thing they did, not one specific act or position, and I suppose with fantasy it never is; it’s a triggering thought, a concept that runs through the mind at just that apical moment, and for me that triggering thought was this: I can’t believe she’s letting him do that.

I hoped the woman was OK. I hoped she was acting. I hoped she hadn’t been forced. I wondered if the founders of Google knew they were contributing to an exploitative, misogynistic industry that lets strange men watch this woman do these strange things. I wondered if I could find her and apologize.

And I wondered, most of all, what the hell was wrong with me.

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Reference Materials: series 3 free Listen To Your Intuition And Avoid Making Mistakes

Book: A Memoir: Like A Virgin

Book: All Fall Down By: Jennifer Weiner

Book: Bad Mother By: Ayelet Waldman

Book: Big Daddy's Rules: Raising Daughters Is Tougher Than I Look By: Steve Schirripa

Book: But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost Of Non Physical Abuse To Girls And Women By: Jill Murray

Book: Chicken Soup To Inspire A Woman’s Soul By: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Stephanie Marston

Book: Doing The Best I Can: Fatherhood In The Inner City By: Kathryn Edin and Timothy J. Nelson

Book: Fear Of Flying By: Erica Jong

Book: Finding Your Way In A Wild New World By: Martha Beck

Book: Get Out Of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl To The Mall? By: Anthony Wolf, PhD

Book: Girls Survival Guide Book: Hustle And Heart By: Kailyn Lowry

Book: In Love And In Danger: A Teen's Guide To Breaking Free Of Abusive Relationships By: Barrie Levy

Book: Jamaica’s Find By: Juanita Havill

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

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Book: Listen To Your Mother Edited By: Ann Imig

Book: Making Babies By: Anne Enright

Book: Mama Do You Love Me? By: Barbara Joose Book: Married To The Ice Man By: Barbara Kuklinski

Book: Meaningful Differences In The Lives Of Young Children By: Betty Hart & Todd Risley

Book: Miss Manners: Communications By: Judith Martin

Book: Miss Manners Guide To Excruciatingly Correct Behavior By: Judith Martin

Book: Miss Manners: What Do I Say? By: Judith Martin

Book: Mom, I'm Not A Kid Anymore By: Sue Sanders

Book: My Night With Elvis By: Kitty Stuart

Book: Queen Bees And Wannabes By: Rosalind Wiseman

Book: Stellaluna By: Janell Cannon

Book: Swimmy By: Leo Lionni

Book: The Artist's Way For Parents By: Julia Cameron

Book: The Bossy Gallito: A Traditional Cuban Folk Tale retold by By: Lucia M. Gonzalez

Book: The Everyday Parenting Toolkit By: Alan E. Kazdin

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Book: The Grouchy Ladybug By: Eric Carle

Book: The Imperfect Environmentalist By: Sara Gilbert

Book: The Orchardist By: Amanda Coplin

Book: The Woman Men Adore And Never Want To Leave By: Bob Grant www.relationshipheadquarters.com

Book: Wake Up And Smell The Coffee By: Ann Landers

Reference Materials: series 3 free

Associated Press Awake!

Block News Alliance BookPage Bp Magazine Buckeyes Behind Bars

Chicago Tribune Columbus Dispatch Crime Stories 911 Detroit Free Press Gentleman’s Quarterly Globe

Good Housekeeping La Prensa-Ohio Men’s Health National ENQUIRER Pediatrics online ahead of print, was entitled “Fertility Rate Trends Among Adolescent Girls With Major Mental Illness: A Population Based Study PEOPLE Redbook

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The Ann Arbor News The Blade The Mansfield News Journal The Nashville Tennessean The Press The Register The Sojourner’s Truth The Toledo Journal The Wall Street Journal Toledo City Paper Toledo Parent Toledo Reads

USA Today USA Weekend

Washington Post WebMD the Magazine

“What Every Teen Should Know” It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby Teen Booklet P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL. 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

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Reference Materials: series 3 free ABC News American College Of Obstetricians And Gynecologists www.americanfamilyinsurance.com American Red Cross www.redcross.org/mobileapps Peggy Andover, PhD assistant professor in the psychology department at Fordham University and a clinical psychologist

Apple App Store

Dr. Anthony Atkins is a family practice physician. He sees patients at Primary Care Network, 1421 S. Reynolds in South Toledo 419-725-6290. He also works out of Northwest Ohio Urgent Care 1015 Conant Street, Maumee 419-891-0525. Lifestoryz tracks are available at www.myspace.com/lifestoryz

Ashleigh Banfield CNN anchor Governor Jerry Brown BuckeyesACT Busch Gardens in Tampa www.buschgardens.com/bgt curator Laura Wittish

President George W. Bush BuzzFeed

Centers For Disease Control And Prevention (CDC) Changing Campus Culture Chandra, PhD lead researcher and behavioral scientist Anita Clery Act Common Sense Media www.commonsensemedia.org Crisis Help Line at 741-741

Dallas Area Rape Crisis Center executive director Bobbie Villareal Dateline (TV Show) Senator Kevin de Leon, D-Los Angeles www.drugstore.com

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) www.eeoc.gov

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Face book www.facebook.com Federal Health Insurance Portability Accountability Act Paul Fine, MD, associate professor of gynecology at Baylor College Of Medicine in Houston

Sara Gilbert co-host of The Talk Google Play Store Guttmacher Institute H. Hunter Handsfield, MD, a clinical professor of medicine at the University Of Washington and a nationally recognized STD expert who has helped develop HIV testing guidelines for the CDC.

Homeboy Industries, 130 W. Bruno St., Los Angeles, CA 90012www.homeboyindustries.org

Hilda Hutcherson MD Ob/Gyn and a professor at Columbia University in NYC www.loveisrespect.org 866-331-9474

Mary Ellen Mann She is also a licensed clinical social worker and President of Mann Counseling Group, P.C., a private practice operating in Denver. She received her Bachelor’s in sociology from Westmont College and a Masters degree from Columbia University. Recently she helped develop the first interactive website for survivors of sexual abuse, LastBattle.org, to help survivors, their family, friends, and Christian leaders and professionals who care about this

Jeanne Marrazzo, MD, a STD specialist at the University Of Washington medical school www.momster.com/fc/pregnantdaughter www.momster.com/group www.momswithkidsofmultipleages

Wade Myers forensic psychiatrist Rhode Island Hospital

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President Barack Obama Ohio Department Of Higher Education

Planned Parenthood Leslie Kantor, PhD Vice President of Education, Planned [email protected]

Polly Fox Academy419-720-4593 Tara Poulin DONA certified birth doubla and owner of Birthing Gently in Bradford, MA. Presidential Medal Of Freedom Promoting Awareness Victim Empowerment

Rand Corporation Rape shield laws Red Cross Pet First Aid App Re/Max Lake Shore Realty in Port Clinton. Jaime Swigart John Rosemond psychologist www.rosemond.com Dr. Laurie Rousseau, a Berlin Heights family medicine physician affiliated with Firelands Regional Medical Center

Safe haven SB967 Sexual Assault Prevention And Response Kathy Smith WGTE Public Media

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State Commission On Judicial Conduct Toni Stern MD Ob/Gyn in New York City Student Press Law Center

University Of Helsinki Urbana University www.urbandictionary.com

Violence Intervention And Prevention Center at the University Of Kentucky director Dorothy Edwards PhD Myra Wick MD Ob/Gyn at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN Susan Wood International Women’s Health Coalition New York

Yale Yale Parenting Center http://www.youth.eeoc.gov/ [email protected]

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