Frustrated that sex wasn't bringing her the elusive orgasms she craved, Julie Buntin unlocked her 0 with a little help from an unexpectedly arousing plaything. Maybe her story will inspire you to discover the sexcessories that will change your life.

I was 22 years old in a shower in Paris when I had my first orgasm. There was no man in sight-just a phallic, plastic shaft the same color as a blue raspberry Blow Pop. In that steamy Uiter­ ally) moment, the Blueberry Bliss vibrator changed my sexual life. Before Blueberry, sex was pure frustration. "You like that?" guys would ask from between my legs. "Urn, keep going," I'd instruct, as clueless boyfriends rubbed everywhere but my clito­ ris. Occasionally, someone would get close-but I'd always stop him by faking an orgasm (lots ofloud puppyish noises did the trick) just as the sensation started to get really intense. The truth is, I was scared. Although I lost my virginity at 15 and always had boyfriends, I never really masturbated. I spent more time fantasizing about crushes falling in love with me than discover­ ing what I found arousing. Tapping into my own pleasure seemed less motivating than making myself into what guys wanted Plus, being an orgasm virgin made me afraid of my body. IfI come, will I pee? I wondered. Sometimes, it felt like I might. By my 20s, I knew I was missing out. "Maybe I've had an orgasm," I'd say to friends. "Ifl think I have, I probably have ... right?" They stared at me with pity. One Sunday, my best friend dragged me to Babeland I chose the Blueberry Bliss Turbo Glider because it was the cheapest, and I promptly hid it deep in my closet from my then live-in boyfriend. I continued to fake orgasms with him and then felt resentful about the fact that he got a lot more pleasure from our sex life than I did. A few days before traveling to Paris for a summer study-abroad trip, I slid Blueberry into my suitcase on a whim. Was it in the spirit of trying new things that I whipped it out and took it with me into the shower? More likely, it was because I was finally alone. I stood there, water streaming down my face, rubbing the vibrator (on medium speed) in a circular motion on my clitoris until, miracle of miracles, my mind went blank and my entire body tumed to fizz. I let out a soft little "oh," more of a choke than a moan. Do you even need to ask how I spent the rest of my summer in Paris? There were no guys involved, but I was coming daily. It took getting myself off to leam that sexual chemistry requires a give and take. Once I knew how I liked to be touched, I dropped the fake pomy act and realized that compromising my own pleasure for the sake of someone else's feelings was only going to hurt my relationships. Ultimately, this led to breaking up with the boyfriend, who could never get the job done, even after I figured out how to explain what tumed me on. Without Blueberry, I might still be with him. Happily, I now have mind­ blowing orgasms with other human beings. In fact, I hardly ever use Blueberry anymore. But we'll always have Paris.

Julie Buntin is a New York-based writer of embarrassingly personal stories she hopes her mother never reads. Love, Lust & Other Stuff MEET YOUR ORGASM SECRET WEAPONS When it comes to the wild thinq, Meq Ryan at-the-del i-level orqasms are all too rare. The majority of women (as in, a solid 75 percent) don't orqasm from intercourse alone, accord inq to decades of studies. That's whe re a new crop of sleek sex toys comes in as eye-open inq , 0-inducinq sexua l qame chanqers. Whether you 're takinq your pleasure into your own hands or playinq with a pa rt­ ner, it's time to feel the buzz on the best (Cosmo staff tested!) vibrators, bullets, and yes, flutterinq oral-sex simulators out th ere. BY MICHELLERUIZ /ZeCAJ~ 4 {orfUI~rQM"M MW6t"e;l

So ...sextoys sort of scare you. Not to worry: Introducing a motorized device to your Delicate Flower can be a downright delightful 3 experience with these small, sweet products @FUN OJIMMYJANE FACTORY UFO UTILE CHROMA for beginners. ($80, edenfantasys.com) $CRAVE DUET ($125, jimmyjane.com) A futuristic take on the ($149, lovecrave.com) If metallics are the traditional bullet. '"Like Nestled in a lipstick­ new neutrals. this chic the sex-toy equivalent of size case and billed as sexcessory-intended E.T., it quietly phones quiet enough to use in for light lab ia buzzing or home-1 put it on the a library, it's stealth like internal G-spot explora­ OBABELAND highest power and let a Bond weapon-no tion-is so now. A gentle SILVER BULLET the flat spaceship side one would guess it's a vibe with one speed, it's ($15, babeland.com) rove on my clitoris dur­ mini-vibrator with smooth, skinny, and ideal ing a... solo expedition ," two prongs designed to for newcomers. "It's the "Two inches of pure reports Genevieve S. . hug your clit sensually. perfect size for my sexual secret weapon. 21. Plus. it powers "It feels like hand. The big draw is Use it alone, or pulse it buttah, up via a magnetic and even the lowest that it's waterproof. on your clitoris during charger-no batter- setting packs a punch:' I got a nice steamy, solo sex. Turn the speed ies necessary-so it'll notes Bridget M., 27 . shower going, turned up and never fake an never die right before Its velvety tips also work it on ... and then turned orgasm again. It's the you're about to lift off. on nipples and balls. myself on:· says Audrey little black dress of sex As you do .... B. . 24. toys. Everyone needs one." - Ann M., 32* *Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

A SHHH ... SECRET SEX TOYS Fool the snoops In your life with these covert (even cuddly!) OI1)8SIIIQadqets. We won't tell a soul. (A) SQWEEL 2 ($59, babeland.com): Looks like a personal fan. Actually: a cunnilingus simulator! "I loved this Thumbelina-size Fenis wheel of silicone tongues," reports Andrea F., 31. "One of its seven settings is perfectly melodic and sensual." Second only to a real, live tongue. (B) KANDI KISSES LIPSTICK VIBE ($59, bedroomkandi.com): Thank Real Housewives ofAUanta diva Kandi Burruss for this "perfect mini-vibe." -Lisa A, 26 (C) I RUB )IY BUCKlE ($35, adameve.com): "I started using the bill on my clitoris in the shower, but I liked the way the tail felt better!" -Amanda J., 22

FEBRUARY 2014 I COSMOPOUTAN 121 Love, Lust & Other Stuff ~ 3 6 2 N::_jok-e..: C,Qve our reviewer You're beyond mu/-b'f/e oryt~sms. bullets but not quite ready for butt plugs. Welcome to the 5 t intermediate Firsf- 6orf1J playfield of XXX t~f.lt.e shopping-naughty 1~05 tlJ tl pieces with j erJoMI next-level power nLt~55C!Jer l and the promise of 4 double orgasms.

@ BLUSH EVE'S 0HITACHI RABBIT ($70, blush MAGIC WAND OJIMMYJANE novelties.com) ($55, themagic HELLO TOUCH The iconic, addictive sex $ LELO SORAVA wandshop.com) ($65, jimmyjane.com) toy hops on-with four ($199, 1elo.com) OJEJOUEMIO Totally old-school (read: Meet th e Iron Man glove speeds and five rows of "This feels just like COCK RING still plugs into the of sex paraphernalia: two pleasure beads. "At first Barry White sounds," ($99, jejoue.com) wall!), but it rema ins tiny fingertip vibrators glance, it looks intimi­ raves Leah A., 26. "the strong est thing out that attach to your hand dating ... but once you get "So perfect, it felt like "To warp the words there ;· affirms Emily of Beyonce, if you like via a futuristic wristband . down to it, the shaft and someone to ok a mold of s.. 29. "If you want a "I rubb ed it against my the ears hit right where my va gina. It is powerful him, then you better fast . intense clitoral boyfriend 's nippl es and they need to for an ideal, but can also be gentle put a ring on him. orgasm-and a back penis, and then he got double-the-fun orgasm :· and discreet." Soraya is This is a total party for massage afterward­ adventurous all around says Missy K. , 28. Just armed with one vibrat­ everybody involved­ it's really the mother of my lady space," says Jo note that it doesn't go ing motor for internal it sli ps on easily, and all vibrators." Just be the vibrations were a B. , 22. "The finger vibes quietly into the night: stimulation and another warned : its earthquake­ are teeny but powerful. The Rabbit "is decently for your clitoris. Choose surprising sensation like vibrat ions are on Who kn ew that it's actu­ audible, which might from three speeds and on my husband's the loud side. Use it ally very exciting when make your roommate eight vibration modes. penis and buzzed me with the (!}flutter Tip a guy gets you off with a start to wonder what "I urge you , try them all ," to orgasm when I was Wand Attachment ($25, robot hand?" you're do ing ," she says. says Leah. "No hyper­ on top . Thoroughly thepleasurechest.com). bole: the Soraya is the heartwarming to have Popped atop the Wand, best pleasure object I've a sex toy that makes it simulates cunnilin­ everybody happy!" ever used . We need to gus: "So soft, it felt start a not-for-profit that -Melissa W.. 29 like a fancy upgrade ," gives th is thing to every says Emily. "Even if my woman on the planet." dachshund thought it CAWNG ALL SEX-TOY SHOPPERS) was a new dog toy." I -----~------~~ You research the sh*t out of your new cell phone before buyinQ- ...Phtludates Aren't Look for labels announcing toys " shouldn't you be equally infonned about the QadQets brinQinQ you that are free of these chemicals, which are used to soften to OfiJasm? Embrace these tips like a lover.••• everyday plastics but don't necessarily belong inside your Silieone Is ~y ...Toys made of this medical-grade vagina (or rubbing on his Big Lebowski). material are safest because they're slick-there are ~ Yourself Clean... Always lather new naughty toys no tiny holes that can trap bacteria between sexual with soap and water. Repeat and air-dry (towels can leave adventures. Also saucy and sanitary: glass, stainless­ lint on the vi be) before and after play. Check manuals­ steel, and hard-plastic get-you-off gadgets. some vibes are dishwasher safe!

122 COSMOPOLITAN I FEBRUARY 2014 ~LELO 2 LUNA BEADS ($47,1elo.com) Vagina weight lifting: r----- yes, it's a thing. Thanks Tkree nwtorJ = to Fifty Shades of Grey, trifle!Jour jlet~Jure. Kegel bails-small, weighted balls on a A master of toys, string, historically called Ben Wa balls-are the you're so advanced, hottest sex toy of the you could school moment. Inserted into Christian Grey in kinky the vagina for foreplay teasing or pelvic-floor­ crop-spanking. In muscle strengthening, fact, you're probably the Luna Beads vibrate lightly when inside you. pulsing your vibrat­ "It was strange at first ing Kegel balls as we __..,. .. feeling the extra weight inside, but I got used to speak. #Respect it. I walked with them to and from errands or just around my apartment," says Renee J., 23. "My guy said he could tell the difference during sex when I clinched."

OOHMIBOD CLUBVIBE 3 ($79, ticklekitty.com) "I can wear this little 00HMIBOD Streffj~ vibrator in my thong, set LOVELl FE tpur mMJdes... it to vibrate to music, ADVENTURE 0 SPORTSHEETS @FUN FACTORY cm4 tpur or have my boyfriend TRIPLESTIM STUDDED XO CROP control it with a remote VIBRATOR STRONIC lWEI O'Jtl5m5. ($15,sex-toystores) ($200, thepleasure control from across ($99, ohmibod.com) "After two glasses of red chest. com) the room? Count me This overachiever wine,! beckoned my guy No cuddly clit-tickling in!" says Emily V. , 25. boasts three branches into the bedroom and here: This is a straight- "It comes with a bulky that tickle the clitoris, told him he was in trou­ up penetrator intended one-size-fits-all pair of G-spot, and butt. ble for not finishing his for internal thrusting. undies, but the vibe was "At first, I was freaked weekend chores. Big "I had to warm myself small enough to fit under out about having the smile on his face, he was up with lube for a good the lip of my Victoria's one branch near my game .. . .I started with 10 minutes before it slid Secret lace thong. The butt, but it was such a soft taps and built up to in comfortably," says best settin9s are the ones mellow tickle, I actu­ harder hitting. He said it Melanie T., 24. "But once that vibrate to the beat of ally found the sensation hurt ... but didn't care. The it did... magic. Usually, the bass. As a dance­ new and titillating." crop is high quality and I'm a clit-focused kind of music addict, the music -Lila R., 23 made me feel powerful, gal, but when I pressed that gets me off was and the studs added toth e upward toward my G-spot literally qettinq me off.. . excitement. A little pain and circled around, I in public. Talk about a goes a long way to spike ended up switching dirty little secret." up your sex drive." through almost all1 0 set­ -Melissa E., 29 tings. It delivers serious action when you're in the mood for a good G-spot orgasm .... Giddy up!"

... and Green If you want to make Mother Nature 0, Also note privacy policies: If you don't want your look for the new wave of sexcessories with rechargeable, mailman/roommate to know you're buying a vibe, order cell-like batteries or ones that power up via a USB port. online from one of the best in the naughty business­ These snazzy toys are often pricier, but they also buzz like Babeland or The Pleasure Chest. Both use covert harder and last longer. ... names that won't embarrass you on your credit-card Bawdy Buyer, Beware Make sure you're not paying for statement and plain shipping boxes with no store logo. a used sex toy (gag) by shopping at a toy boutique whose Business on the outside; sex party inside! policy is to accept returns only for broken playthings. SOURCES, SAO IE ALLISON. AUTHOR OF TOYGASMS'; CLAIRE CAVANAH. COFOUNDER OF BABELANO

FEBRUARY 2014 I COSMOPOUTAN 123 Mostly A's You re a Sexual Homebody Your erotic passport is depressingly empty-but it doesn't have to be! "The easiest way to become more sexually adventurous is to introduce humor into the BY ELISA BENSON bedroom," says sex therapist Sadie Allison. Read cheesy erotica out loud together, or buy your guy a hilarious At brunch, the Samantha of your group shares the saga of her latest one-night 1. penis holster thong (Google stand-starring a Hitachi Magic Wand, a leather blindfold, and Dario Franchitti 2.0. You: it), and have him model it. a. Order a second Bloody b. Get as many details C. Jump in with your own "Creating laughter can feel Mary and try to calm the as possible. You may be a Berlusconi bunga bunga more natural than trying to increasingly hysterical novice at sex toys with the story. Ah, the presidential be sexy, but it has the same Charlotte in your head. horsepower of a Ferrari, suite ... #Memories #201 0 effect of deepening your but hopefully not for long. bond," Allison says. Truth.

2 . You're in bed with your new manfriend, and his frisky hands keep venturing back to Mostly B's your butt. How do you address his anal fixation? You Need a Tou Guide a. Shut it down-that's b. You'd consider it if he C. Bring on the butt play. You're happy to tag along an exit, not an entrance. was really into it, super In lube-and beaded butt on a sexual expedition, but You're traumatized enough gentle, and also ... wine. A plugs-you trust. That's you 're not one to take the by an accidental "wrong month of free oral for you basically your life motto. lead. It's time to figure out hole" slip. and he's got a deal. what gets you off-then try it with your guy. "There 's 3 . Your boyfriend's sleeping over after work tonight. Maybe you should surprise him nothing wrong with plan­ with some naughty underthings? A quick scan of your lingerie drawer reveals: ning ahead," says Allison. a. An array of nude briefs b. Plenty of Cosabella C. Please. Agent "For example, think about (from taupe to beige), boy shorts, some sheer, Provocateur just called something dirty you want some misshapen Hanes which have caused a boner for your feedback about to say in bed and actually sports bras, and your trusty or two. C'mon, you're not their 2014 silk nipple- practice it during the day­ full-body Spanx! totally clueless.... tassel collection. your sexual self-esteem will skyrocket."

4 . Your guy keeps dropping hints about a role-play fantasy-something about his high Mostly C's school locker room and a postshower spanking? You: You're the a. Wonder aloud if you b. Google "Varsity Blues C. Order pom-poms Christopher can get athlete's foot on whipped cream bikini online, and Snapchat him Columbus ofSex places besides feet. .. then scene:· Your goal: Re-create a pic of yourself in a cheer­ Congrats! You have no prob­ go take a therapeutic it for your anniversary. You leading skirt. Boom goes lem sailing into a stormy bubble bath. have three months to prep. the dynamite tonight.. .. ocean of sexual adventure. But for all the kink websites bookmarked on your iPhone 5. The cute dude you're newly sexing has one move, and unfortunately for you and your and handcuffs in your clitoris, that move is the jackhammer. You: dresser, don't forget to tone a. Close your eyes, picture b. Grab his butt and C. Unlock your handcuffs things down once in a while Channing Tatum's pees, and try slowing the bump- (with your teeth), flip out of and enjoy some old-school pray it's over quick, making and-grind, which he missionary, and mount him. sex-just you and your a mental note to ghost him somehow misinterprets You'll show this fool a thing man, no riding crops. That's from your phone ASAP. as encouragement(?!?!). or two about a thing or two. some serious sexploration.

200 COSMOPOLITAN I FEBRUARY 2014