Copyright by Shantel Gabrieal Buggs 2017
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Copyright by Shantel Gabrieal Buggs 2017 The Dissertation Committee for Shantel Gabrieal Buggs Certifies that this is the approved version of the following dissertation: UTOPIC SUBJECTS, POST-RACIAL DESIRES: MIXED-RACE, INTIMACY, AND THE ON-LINE DATING EXPERIENCE Committee: Ben Carrington, Supervisor Mary Beltràn David L. Brunsma Gloria González-López Ken-Hou Lin UTOPIC SUBJECTS, POST-RACIAL DESIRES: MIXED-RACE, INTIMACY, AND THE ON-LINE DATING EXPERIENCE by Shantel Gabrieal Buggs, B.A., M.A. Dissertation Presented to the Faculty of the Graduate School of The University of Texas at Austin in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy The University of Texas at Austin May 2017 Dedication For the women who have been called exotic or had strangers put hands in their hair. For the women who have wondered if there was something “wrong” with them. For the women who found someone who makes them happy and the women who suffered through a parade of unsolicited dick pics, uncreative OkCupid messages, and awful first dates. For the women who demanded more from their partners and their families, who knew their worth, who refused to be anyone’s mocha-princess-fantasy-playthings. Utopic Subjects, Post-Racial Desires: Mixed-Race, Intimacy, and the On-line Dating Experience Shantel Gabrieal Buggs, Ph.D. The University of Texas at Austin, 2017 Supervisor: Ben Carrington Dating, cohabitating, and marriage processes aided by online dating are central topics of interest for researchers interested in modern modes of relationship formation. This qualitative multi-method dissertation intervenes by assessing self-identified mixed- race women’s understandings of race, gender, and class while in the process of dating, providing insight into the experiences that are hidden within analyses of large-scale online dating trends. Through digital ethnography, content analysis of 225 profiles from the online dating website, OkCupid, and 30 in-depth interviews with mixed-race women residing in Texas, this dissertation goes beyond notions of dating and marriage that emphasize a market-based exchange. Instead, it presents the practices used to entice and select potential partners, centering the factors that frame the production and regulation of race within relationships. For mixed-race women who are dating both on- and off-line, appearance and ethnic identity factor in how they are racialized, how they racialize others, and therefore, how racial dynamics play out. Mixed-race women use vetting strategies, the specific ways of listening to, and prompting, potential partners on dates to determine their politics. In particular, women who are mixed with black inquire about v current events, referencing mainstream issues related to blackness (e.g. police brutality). Women who have Arab or Middle Eastern backgrounds also try to screen for Islamophobia in these ways. I also present three narrative frames that mixed-race women use to frame racial boundaries in their committed relationships. These women rely on skin color and cultural differences to name what is and is not an interracial relationship; mixed-race women also actively avoid dating certain men who share racial and ethnic characteristics with male members of their families. Ultimately, mixed-race women are concerned with who they choose to date because they view their choices as reflections of how they racially identify themselves. By focusing on how mixed-race women describe and interpret their on- and off-line experiences, this dissertation shows how the logics of colorblindness and anti-blackness extend into everyday life, demonstrating contemporary meanings of race and the post-racial in the United States. vi Table of Contents List of Figures ................................................................................................................... x Introduction: Finding Love in a Hopeless Place ........................................................... 1 Outline of the Dissertation ..................................................................................... 8 Chapter 1 – Literature Review: Race in Heterosexual Sex, Dating, and Marriage Introduction........................................................................................................... 12 Hybridity, Post-racialism, and the Growing Mixed-Race Population ................. 12 Shifting Dating and Marriage Market(s) and Varying Notions of Intimacy ....... 19 Gender, Sexuality, and Mixed-Race Fetishization .............................................. 29 Conclusion ........................................................................................................... 42 Chapter 2 – Studying Love On-Line: A Digital Methodology Introduction........................................................................................................... 44 Research Design and Analysis ............................................................................. 45 The Case: Selection of Southeast Texas and OkCupid ............................ 45 Digital Ethnography.................................................................................. 50 Content Analysis ...................................................................................... 57 Focusing on Discourse.............................................................................. 60 In-depth Interviews .................................................................................. 63 User Observation/Platform Elicitation...................................................... 70 Recruitment and Participant Characteristics ........................................................ 71 Representativeness of Participants............................................................ 76 Reflexivity/Positionality ...................................................................................... 77 Ethnical Issues and Considerations....................................................................... 81 Chapter 3 – Digitizing Mixed-Race: Navigating OkCupid and Crafting a Dating Identity Introduction........................................................................................................... 84 vii Finding One's Way to the "Best Free Dating Site on Earth"................................ 85 Crafting the Dating Profile and Navigating Online Dynamics ............................ 91 The Appeal Formula: Representing the Self in Digital Form................... 98 "The first filters are your eyes": Judging Men's Profiles ................................... 106 Conclusion: The Power of Pictures..................................................................... 111 Chapter 4 – Dating in the Time of #BlackLivesMatter and #NoBanNoWall, Or, Vetting Strategies in a Post-Racial Era Introduction......................................................................................................... 115 The National Conversation on Race .................................................................. 118 Dating Strategies and Linking Attitudes to Behaviors ...................................... 122 Vetting a Partner................................................................................................. 125 Looking for the Middle: When Vetting May Be "Extreme"................... 137 Logics of Anti-blackness and Desiring Diversity............................................... 142 Conclusion: Why Do Vetting Strategies Matter?............................................... 150 Chapter 5 – Color, Culture, or Cousin?: Framing Boundaries in Interracial Relationships Introduction......................................................................................................... 155 Unpacking "No Preference": The Invoking of Colorblindness.......................... 164 Defining Interracial Relationships through Narrative/Ideological Frames......... 170 Frame One: Skin "Color" Matters........................................................... 170 Frame Two: "Culture" Matters............................................................... 177 Frame Three: Familiarity as Undesirable ("Cousins" Matter)................ 181 Conclusion: Seeing Race, Framing Difference................................................... 192 Conclusion: (Mixed-)Race, Intimacy, and the Enduring Power of the Color Line .......................................................................................................... 197 Contributions to the Sociological Literature ..................................................... 205 Limitations and Future Directions...................................................................... 208 Conclusion ......................................................................................................... 212 viii Appendices Appendix A: Interview Schedule ....................................................................... 214 Appendix B: Interview Recruitment Message Script (via OkCupid) ................ 219 Appendix C: Interview Informed Consent.......................................................... 220 Appendix D: Descriptive Characteristics of Respondents.................................. 223 References....................................................................................................................... 225 Vita ................................................................................................................................. 244 ix List of Figures Figure 1.1: National Geographic essay, "The Changing Face of America".................... 16 Figure 2.1: Map