The CordThe tie that binds since 1926 Weekly A QUIVER OF CUPID'S ARROWS DRIVE SLOW, HOLMESY % Looking to snipe that special someone with an arrow to Just how big are Iraq's problems (see hands)? The Canadian the aorta? Our food critic compiled a list of culinary ambassador to Iraq, John Holmes, came to Laurier last week to tell

contraptions to set the mood ... STUDENT LIFE, PAGE 16 us, and also detailed his heroic commute to work ... INT'L, PAGE 18

Volume 46 Issue 22 WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8,2006 www.corclweekly.com

V -TE '06 > Allan Cayenne and his campaign team moments before and after he was announced as WLUSU's next president

Photos by Jordan Jocius Cayenne wins clear mandate

WLUSU election recap > VP: SA wins easily; McNiven takes most BOD votes; Gray gets BOG spot; PIRG passes with razor-thin majority

ADRIAN MA drinking, chatting and nervously Finally, the next WLUSU presi- own," said a fatigued but enthusi- only receiving 16 percent of the News Editor anticipating the results. dent is revealed: \lian Cayenne is astic Cayenne. "I'm just so excited Waterloo vote, Booth was clearly Shortly after 1:00am, the num- declared the winner and Kanye to start tomorrow." the choice of Laurier Brantford Allan Cayenne walked into the bers start rolling out. Laura Gray West's "Gold Digger" blares out of Cayenne, who served this year students, taking 201 of the 340 Turret last Thursday night ready to wins the race for WLUSU board of the speakers, signalling the end of as WLUSU's vice-president of stu- Brantford votes. party, having already done every- governors. The crowd cheers. Next the 2006 WLUSU election. dent activities, dominated the This most recent WLUSU elec- thing he could to win the confi- year's board of directors are As soon as Cayenne heard his election by garnering nearly 62 tion lacked much of the drama dence of Laurier's students. announced one after another, and name called, he bounced around percent of the popular vote, taking and mudslinging of last year's Around midnight, the dance- there is more cheering, with the the Turret, bearhugging his cam- 1743 ballots out of a total of 2826. election, something that Cayenne floor is largely deserted as victorious candidates jumping paign team and friends. David Alexander came in sec- was impressed with. WLUSU's election candidates around, hugging and throwing "I came in today thinking I only ond place with 630 votes, while lounge around the periphery - high-fives. got one sure vote and that's my Adam Booth drew 453. Despite See ELECTION, page 2

> In time for Eating Disorder Awareness Week, Emma McFarlane writes a lurid personal account of Jeffries welcomes one woman's struggle with bulimia... PAGE 14-15 Pyear to the OC Ex-quarterback and Vanier Cup MVP named Hawks' next offensive co-ordinator

MIKE BROWN As a player, the 23-year-old Sports Editor Pyear made up for his small stature with tremendous pas- This past Friday, two months to sion, toughness and determina- the day after WLU claimed their tion to earn a superfluity of indi- second-ever Vanier Cup title, vidual accolades, including Hawks head coach Gary Jeffries recognition as a first-team All- announced the team's new Canadian, five-year starter, and offensive coordinator in what he MVP of both the Uteck Bowl and labeled "probably the worst kept Vanier Cup.

secret in sport history." Pyear fills the gaping void left PYEAR-LESS - Former QB will try Ryan Pyear, the beloved quar- by highly-touted Stefan Ptaszek, to emulate his on-field success. terback that led the Hawks to who left Laurier in the lurch, national supremacy in his final accepting the head coaching his long-time friend. "We cer- year of eligibility, now takes on position with the rival McMaster tainly wish him nothing but the the challenge of running the Marauders, snapping the purple best," said Jeffries. "1 told Stef offence from the sidelines, hav- and gold community from its that 1 hope he goes 7-1 every ing inked a one-year contract to post-Vanier reverie in the year, and we're going to see to it be re-evaluated after the 2006 process. that that happens." season. Financial terms of the Jeffries, however, was quick to deal were not disclosed. assert his continued respect for See PYEAR. page 11 2 ￿ WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2008 WLUSU Election Aftermath |The Cord Weboy

WLU rocks the vote Election Results President New WLUSU government is elected; only 22 percent voter turnout in election

From ELECTION cover undeterred by the extremely Flynn, Colin LeFevre, Freddy close vote. Enriquez, Asif Bacchus, Jonathon "We've received a mandate Champagne, Agatha Przybylska "I thought this yesterday, how from students to start a PIRG on and Joshua Smyth.

fun this has been," said Cayenne. campus ... it's an opportunity to The new board of directors has "We're (the candidates) all going show students that we do have a elected Matt Park to chair the through this together." plan and go from there." BOD in 06-07, with Lauren David Alexander, who is cur- The newly christened LPIRG McNiven chosen to preside as rently serving as a WLUSU direc- still faces a myriad of challe- vice-chair. tor, was gracious in defeat, com- neges; it still has to file for incor- "I feel it's a good board of Board of Governors plimenting Cayenne on his win. poration, find office space on directors," said Allan Cayenne.

"He really showed during the campus and elect a board of "It's got a lot of balance - a really campaign that he has a lot of directors. represntative BOD." good ideas - a good vision for Laura Gray, this WLUSU," said Alexander. "With "It was hard for me to be upset year's BOD chair, help from the board and from his edged out Keren management committee he'll be after the results just because Gottfried 1353 to 913 able to really improve the lives of for the spot on WLU's students." the LSPIRG question passed." board of governors. Board of Directors For Alexander, the affair was Both By-Law 24 and " bittersweet - while he was the 2004-2005

denied the WLUSU presidency, - Dave Alexander, runner-up in voting for WLUSU Financial the night was a success for the WLUSU president Statements were also Laurier Students Public Interest passed. Research Group (LSPIRG) team, The voter turnout something that is very close to For the WLUSU board of direc- for the election was significantly his heart. tors, newcomer Lauren McNiven lower than elections in previous "It was hard for me to be upset received the most votes with years: last year's election saw 29 after the results just because the 1231, followed by Janice Lee with percent of Laurier students cast LSPIRG question passed," he 1128. Josh Periard, Yusuf Faqiri, their ballot while this year, the said. Matthew Park and Mike number dropped sharply to The LSPIRG question passed Tsuchiya, who are all serving on about 22 percent. by just a fraction - 50.9 percent of this year's BOD, were re-elected. students that voted in favour its Rounding out next year's BOD formation. Alexander's confi- are Emily Anson, Bryn > Editorial reaction to this story on PAGE 6 dence in LSPIRG, however, is Ossington, Kathryn Easton-

Form LSPIRG? Voter Turnout

Jordan Jocius

Breakdown of Presidential Results

Brandon Currie

MULTIPLE VOTERGASMS - Top: PlRGies rejoice as their referendum passed with a slim majority. Bottom: Lauren McNiven jumps for Union joy, moments after being announced as the top vote-getting director candidate. The Cord Weekly| WEDNESDAY 8, ￿ News FEBRUARY 2006 3

VOCAL 'Rock'n'roll' CORD

What are your plans professor to for Valentine's Day? debate God

ADRIAN MA that God exists as written in the News Editor Bible. Di Carlo is wary ofreligion and Philosophy professor Chris Di the effect it can have on people. Carlo is a self-professed rock- He says that religion, at its worst, "Just a regular date and a 'n'roll academic. feeds people a false feeling of His intellectual interests may superiority, something that movie." be consistent with that of his makes religions divisive forces.

- peers epistemology, theological Surprisingly, Di Carlo reveals - Andrea Schneider debate, critical thinking - but that his lack of religious faith Second Year Psychology along with deriving inspiration evolved from a religious upbring- from the likes of Socrates, ing. Aristotle and Kant, Di Carlo also "I was born, baptized, and draws upon the genius of raised Roman Catholic," says Di Maynard James Keenan of Tool. Carlo. He was an altar boy for five He hears poetry in the drum- years and, at one point, even con- ming of Led Zeppelin's John sidered entering the priesthood. Bonham. Di Carlo feels that phi- But gradually, as he grew into losophy is not unlike rock music: young adulthood, Di Carlo they share a similar ethos of chal- increasingly questioned the lenging societal norms and validity of his "so-called faith." rebelling against convention. He studied philosophy at the "We're going to Ali Baba's At best, both philosophy and University of Guelph, eventually Steakhouse!" rock music compel people to do earning a PhD from the

one - 1998. As vital thing question every- University of Waterloo - in Magda Kuziw & Jason Kiswak thing. a professor, he earned a reputa- Second Year History and "The old saying is 'in mixed tion among his students for being Second Year History/Religion company never talk about sex, a dynamic young teacher who politics, or religion,"' says Di found a way to relate philosophy Carlo. "In class, those are the top- to a young generation of minds. ics I always discuss because For Di Carlo, aspects of pop they're the most important." culture like music and television He is speaking from his office are perfect entry-points for at Laurier's Brantford Campus. young people. He points to the

After stints at Laurier in Waterloo subtle but formidable power of GOD GAVE ROCK AND ROLL TO YOU AND ME - Virtuoso Laurier pro and the University of Guelph, Di satirical news programs like The fessor Chris DiCarlo will take part in a 'God debate' Saturday. Carlo had the distinction of being Daily Show with Jon Stewart or the first philosophy professor The Colbert Report. debate is something he relishes. campaign. This upcoming phi- hired at Laurier's satellite cam- "They just don't poke fun at "I don't get a lot of pleasure losophy colloquium will not

pus. people ... they use the Socratic being right ... [I get it by] getting resemble a conventional rock "Honestly, I'm not doing Di Carlo returns to Laurier's method," says Di Carlo. "If used people talking," says Di Carlo. "It show in the least, but to Chris Di anything." Waterloo campus on Saturday effectively, [satire] is far more has to happen." Carlo, there is nothing more rock- February 11 to take part in a the- powerful than any other type of There will be no guitars, there 'n' roll than what he is about to ological debate on the existence rhetoric." will be no drum kit rigged to do. - Josh Weinstein of God. Di Carlo, who considers Di Carlo's own fluency with the explode, and there is little chance "That's kind of like an open Second Year Business himself both agnostic and athe- Socratic method will be on full that Bono will be milling around invitation to me." ist, will be facing off against Scott display against Pastor Wilkinson. afterwards gathering signatures Wilkinson, a pastor who believes Being a part of philosophical for the Make Poverty History Islamophobia on the rise: prof "Nothing. Probably getting DAN POLISCHUK hatred and as an attempt to bait Beggar also sees the riots as an nized before we approach the News Editor Muslims." extension of what is happening issue as a question offree speech; high." Arabic and mediterranean with Muslims in that region of the in most ways, it is not," she said.

- A series of editorial cartoons studies professor Abderrahman world, specifically in Iran, Iraq Beggar laid out a foundation as Adrian Pasquarella and Courtney published in believes that the violent and Syria, while stating that "the to how the situation, as a whole, Moore Danish newspapers Beggar Psychology has garnered is problem is not only in Denmark, could be mended. Third Year and a response from the backlash deeply rooted in his- Third Year Geography Islamic faithful that is anything tory and, even now, European but it's spread everywhere." "I am for the freedom of but laughter. society is very judgmental of "All this is symptomatic to how speech, but there are some points Printed as early as September Muslim immigrants. this minority is treated in the that we don't have to touch like of this past year, the drawings of European com- colour, race and religious beliefs," the Prophet Muhammad have "In Europe, they are not considered munity" he he said, adding, "we are in a secu- recently been the driving force offered. lar society and we have our own behind violent protests and a 100 percent citizen. They are To reach a values. But we have to respect bombings that have caused solution, Mas others, not hurt their feelings." numerous deaths. attacked in their beliefs and their feels that "gov- Commenting on the riots that The sketches, with one depict- ernments and seem to be gaining strength each ing the prophet wearing a bomb- identity. They are not accepted," citizens need to day, Mas provided thoughts of shaped turban, are "an example accept that distress. "Gonna go home and celebrate of the increasing Islamophobia in without justice "The situation in the Middle

- with Europe," stated Laurier islamic Abderrahman Beggar, for all there will East makes me despair. Whatever my girlfriend." studies lecturer Ruth Mas. Professor of Arabic and Mediterranean Studies never be peace." immediate solution we come up Mas went on to add that upon She noted that with will only partially address a - Shawn Asrula seeing the caricatures, she "In Europe, they are not con- Canadians would be "appalled at much larger issue." First Year BBA believed that they provide "an sidered a hundred percent citi- hearing the daily discourse, let example of the systemic post- zen. They are attacked in their alone actions, that are directed Dart Polischuk, photos Sept. 11 identity. They against them ... Compiledby association of Muslims beliefs and their > Editorial reaction to this story on PAGE 6 with terrorism, as incitement to are not accepted," said Beggar. "This problem has to be recog- by Sydney Helland |The Cord Weekly 4 WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 News

The Cord Weekly WLU - ~ gets The tie thai hinds since 1926 a hand (519) Lending helping phone: 884-1970 ext. 3564 fax: (519) 883-0873 email: [email protected] University employees sacrifice holidays to help a developing nation "backyard The Cord Weekly 75 UniversityAvenue West festival" Waterloo, Ontario VICTORIA BEGIN money raised prior to their work can be accomplished. N2L3CS Cord News departure. Laurier students are doing their All the wood to be used in the part by having bake sales with WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2006 Two members of the Laurier construction comes directly the money going directly to their MICAELA BONTJE VOLUME ISSUE 21 Cord News 46 community are off to Ecuador from the rainforests surrounding cause. and Wiles have their Next Issue : February 15 this Reading Week to aid in the Playas. It is transported by volun- Both Bott construction of a camp site for teers with tractor trailers and cut own personal motivations The Wilfrid Laurier Student's QUOTE OF THE WEEK February Union and University "A 111' tit pus?" underprivileged children and up on site. Concrete is bought behind their trip this to ofWaterloo's

- Production Manager Bryn Soyce, in reference to the mysterious stains families living in the community from local stores, as well as the Ecuador. Wiles remembers when Feds are coming together for the appearing on OK Go's lead singer's shirt (page 25) of Bastion, Ecuador. roof sheeting. she was in high school and went first time to bring students Polar WISHFUL WORD OF THE WEEK Meg Wiles of Residential Bott, who is experienced in on a similar trip, which she felt Jam, an all-day "one of a kind out- Sorgy (n.): An orgy in which theparticipantsare all sad, Services and Gary Bott of carpentry, says that his focus is to grounded her in a profound way. door music festival in your back- undertaken in order to attempt to ease their pain. The WLUSU election results afterparties included a sorgy. Physical Resources will leave for build a foundation for the dining "You start taking life for grant- yard." a a place "The joint CONTRIBUTORS Ecuador on February 16 and hall portion of the camp. ed, and taking trip to concert between Greg Galoska Jcssica Pcicr Micaela Bonijc return on February 27. like Ecuador WLU and UW is something we Joe Turcoltc Richard Togman Victoria Begin Jay Guitard Adam Gaumoni According to Bott, there is no makes you grate- have been wanting to do for a Dave Ricci Joe TurcotJe (x2) "You start taking life for granted, Dru Jeffries JoshBonos better feeling in the world than ful. I am beginning number ofyears," saidWLUSU VP: Tanya Doroslavac Jennifer O'Neill Mark Ciesluk. Catherine Mann the appreciation of the people and taking a trip to a place like to feel un-ground- Student Activities Allan Cayenne. WLUSP STAFF who are living there. ed again, so I am Polar Jam will feature Bedouin returning to Soundclash as well as Production Consultant Ron Johnson "Anytime I'm helping someone Ecuador makes you grateful." bands Production Assistant Ananthan Sinnadurai who has less than I do, it is great Ecuador." Controller.Controller and The Janet Linseman - Salads, others. Copy Editing Manager. Aria utio-Haii motivation," said Bott. Meg Wiles, WLUresidential services employeee Wiles also among The event Copy Editors Ariel Kroon Ecuador is a country in north- and Ecuador community builder noted that it was will also include a ski and snow- April Hildebrand Mallory O'Brien Mike Zabic Emily Reilly western South America. Its the people of board park competition, ice sculp- Heather Olavcson Caitlin Henderson largest city, Guayaquil, borders Ecuador who tures, and a fashion show featur- Photo Managers Jordan Jocius Sydney Helland the squatter, or slum community He went on to note that there made a huge difference in her ing local vendors and models from Online Production Manager. Jason Shim of Bastion. The inhabitants of was a family that had devoted life, even more of a difference WLU and UW. Human Resources Sanjay Ojjo IT Manager. Regan Walsh Bastion will be able to enjoy the their lives to building in Ecuador than she made in theirs. Taking place from noon to Distribution Manager. Leo Yu camp site built in Playas, an hour and were beginning to grow into Laurier students who are inter- 9:oopm on Friday at University away, by volunteers around the a larger endeavour. To give the ested in finding out more infor- Stadium, tickets to the event cost WLUSP ADMINISTRATION world. family a break, both he and Wiles mation about building in $10 for students and $15 for President Anthony Piscitelli The goal is for the camp to act are going for ten days and hoping Ecuador can go to guests. VP: Finance Fraser McCracken VP: Advertising Angela Foster as a vacation location for the to accomplish as much as they http://www.lifechangeadven- "We think it's something stu- VP: Brantford James Scott people of Bastion. The pair will can within that time. tures.org, or contact Gary Bott at dents from both schools will be Chair Of the Board Penny Shearer Vice Chair. Sanjay Potlingcr go about building the retreat "The goal is to have new peo- [email protected]. interested in and it is bigger than Board of Directors Evelyn chiu with the help of natural ple going down there every week what each school would be able to George East Arthur Wong resources as well as using both from now until April," said Bott. pull off individually," said As comes more ADVERTISING the materials donated and money in, Cayenne. All advertising inquiries should tie directed to VP: Advertising Angela Foster at 884-0710, ext 3560 or [email protected] COLOPHON WLU leads after four weeks ofApprentice TheCordWeekly is the official student newspaper of theWilfrid Laurier University community. CATHERINE MANN Team Waterloo won by raising an lan Chow were fired on the basis Project Manager Diane Kelly's Started in 1926 as the College Cord, The Cord Weekly is an Cord News to to and editorially independent newspaper published by Wilfrid impressive $1977, sending Team of their reluctance participate. ability take the blame, Laurier University Student Publications, Waterloo, a corpo- Laurier into the boardroom. The group from UW stepped up Ashley Foster's exemption from ration without sharecapital. WLUSP is governedby its board of directors. As the "Waterloo vs. Laurier Team Laurier candidate their performance in task four, elimination through the online Apprentice" makes its way into Mohammed Ahmed was fired which involved creating a pro- poll. wlulSre week five, Team Laurier seems to due to his lack of contribution to motional CD for WCRI (Waterloo "We've observed a number of have an upper hand in the com- the team and lack of positive atti- Co-Operative Housing Inc.) The outstanding individual perform-

Opinions expressed within TheCord are those of the author petition. With six of their eight tude. David Hudson was also team's product was simple but ances, as well as impressive and do not necessarily reflect those of the Editorial Board, original candidates still released the grounds that he informative and was TheCord, WLUSR WLU or MasterWeb Printing. intact, on the crowd teamwork and group strategy," Team Laurier is going strong and was unsuccessful in convincing favourite. commented Gabriel Tomescu, All content appearing in The Cord bears the copyright expressly of their creator(s) and may not be used without has defeated their competitor, Dr. Docherty to donate to the Team Laurier came out on top the lead organizer of the compe- written consent. Team Waterloo, in three out of Canadian Red Cross, thus dis- though with their professionally tition. The Cordis created using Macintosh computers running OS X.2 using Adobe Creative Suite 2 (InDesign, Photoshop, four challenges. playing a lack of technique in his conducted presentation that left She encourages the Waterloo Acrobat, Distiller and Illustrator) and Quark Xpress 6.1. Nikon D7O and Canon Rebel XT 8.0 megapixel digital cam- In week two the designated selling abilities. a lasting impression on the panel and Laurier communities to con- eras are used for principal photography. AdobeAcrobat and teams were the challenge to Task three, in which each des- their support for Distiller are used to create PDF files which are burned given of judges. tinue showing directlyon plates to be mounted on the printing press. raise money and donations for ignated team had to create and Despite the fact that no one on the hard work of all the partici- The Cord is printed by Master Web Printingand is published the Canadian Red Cross Disaster prepare a six-minute presenta- Team Waterloo had under per- pants, "which has surpassed all of every Wednesday during the school year except for special editionswhich are publishedas required. Relief Fund by selling t-shirts and tion to pitch a home video retail formed, Dr. Docherty fired Jenn our expectations." TheCord's circulation fora normal Wednesday issue is 7,000 collecting donations at their business, was lost by Team Yorke and Elena L'Pris on the copies and enjoys areadership of over 10,000. respected schools. Ultimately Waterloo. Melanie Roskell and basis that he was impressed with Cord subscription rates are $20.00 per term for addresses within Canada.

The Cord Weekly is a proud member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), since 2004.

The Campus Network is TheCord's national advertisingagency. Bag O' Crime: throwing the high heat

Preamble to The Cord Constitution DRUGS CRIME OF THE WEEK Stadium. Five intoxicated males ing some inappropriate email 0610 HRS SUN FEB 05/06 were seen fleeing the scene by from another student. The matter The Cord will keep faith with its readers by presenting news Officers attended to a report of a ASSAULT stadium staff. will be sent to the Affairs and expressions of opinions comprehensively, accurately Judicial and fairly. strong odour of marijuana at 0230 HRS SUN FEB 05/06 Council. The Conl believes in a balanced and impartial presentation Willison Hall. It could not be A student was struck in the face THEFT UNDER $5000 of all relevant facts in a news report, and of all substantial determined who was responsible. by a snowball thrown by 1047 THU FEB 02/06 that will opinions in a matter ofcontroversy. another HRS If you have information crime, The staff of The Cord shall uphold all commonly held ethical student causing some bruising to A report was received that per- lead to the solving of any conventions ofjournalism. When an error of omission or of BREAK, & THEFT his eye. The victim did not wish son(s) unknown stole some on or off-campus, please commission has occurred, that error shall beacknowledged ENTER prod- whether promptly. 0324 HRS SUN FEB 05/06 any action to be taken. uct and coin from a vending call Crime Stoppers at 1-800- When statements are made that are critical of an individual, A Conestogo House resident machine at Bouckaert Hall. T1P5(8477) or 650-8500 ext 765 or an organization, we shall give those affected theopportu- nity to reply at the earliest time possible. reported that person(s) unknown PROPERTY DAMAGE

Lthical journalism requires impartiality, and consequently entered his apartment and stole a 1148 HRS FRI FEB 03/06 HARASSMENT conflicts ol interest and the appearance of conflicts of inter- Playstation and Person(s) est will be avoided by all staff. Sony some alco- unknown damaged a WED FEB 01/06-THU FEB 02/06 holic beverages. at WLU The only limits of any newspaper are those of the world water fountain University A student reported receiv- around it, and so The Cord will attempt to cover its world with a special locus on Wilfrid Laurier University, and the community ofKitchener-Waterloo, and with a special ear to the concerns of the students of Wilfrid Laurier University. Ultimately, The Cord will be bound by neitherphilosophy, 5 Day Action News nor geography in its mandate. Weather Forecast The Cord has an obligation to foster freedom of the press and freedom of speech. Thisobligation is best 112ulfilled when debate and dissent are encouraged, both in the internal workings of the paper, and through The Cord's contact with the student body.

IlieCord will always attempt todo what is right, with fear of neither repercussions, nor retaliation. The purpose of the student press is toact as an agent of social awareness, and so shall conduct theaffairs of our newspaper. [The Cord Weekly WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006* 5

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Call 741-7724 to set up a time to visit the Bridgeport Suites located at 34 Bridgeport Road East - one look and you will be done house shopping (taking groups of 4,3,2, or 1).

n—HIRING IS NOW OPEN FOR: Applications are available in the WLUSP office, located on the bottom Print Production Manager (Salaried) floor of Macdonald House residence for students at the Waterloo campus. Corporate Secretary Brantford students can pick up Campus Online Production Manager (Honourarium) application forms from the Manager's office. Human Resources Manager Applications are due Monday Copy Editing Manager (Honourarium) February 27, 2006 at 12:00pm. Waterloo - drop off applications at WLUSP Office Photo Manager (Honourarium) Brantford - drop off applications at Campus Manager's Office

■ — Information Technology Manager por more information contact (Honourarium) Anthony Piscitelli, President of WLUSP at [email protected]

° 3565. '* 1U r P^one 519-884-0710 x publications) |The Cord Weekiyl 6 l ￿ WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 Editorial

The CordWeekly

~ The fie that binds since 1926 ~ Editorial Board

Editor-in-Chief International Editor Special Projects Editor Brandon Currie TonyFerguson April Cunningham [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] (519) 884-0710 ext. 3563 Arts & Entertainment Editor Cord Historian News Editors Alex Hayter Kris Cote Adrian Ma [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Sports Editor Print Production Manager Polischuk Dan Mike Brown Bryn Boyce [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Opinion Editor Features Editor Photography Managers Beath Carly Blair Forsyth-Stark Jordan Jocius th@cordweekly, cbea co m [email protected] [email protected] Editor Helland Graphics Student Life Editor Sydney Hmilie [email protected] foslin Michelle Pinchev [email protected] 884-0710 2852 [email protected] ext. Issues couldn't entice voters

all ofthe articles and opinion pieces this year decrying low youth voter turnout and encouraging students to vote fell on deafears when it came to last week's WLUSU election. Last year,

Apparently - - much was made of the extremely low turnout 29 percent and sadly, this year was even worse, with only 22 percent of students casting Emilie Joslin their vote. There's really no excuse for this. The polling stations were right on cam- pus, where students already are. There was no special trip required. But more importantly, the excuse that "none of the issues affect me" is cer- tainly even less applicable here than in the federal election. The issues and ideas that came up throughout the WLUSU election Plastic surgery and the campaign will have an immediate and profound impact on students' daily lives. Tuition caps, financial aid, a food bank, study space and student safety were some of the main platform points debated in this election and they are all things that affect students deeply. So why couldn't students be cult individuality bothered to vote? of The most probable reason is voter fatigue, with Laurier students having been through the WLUSP AGM and the federal election in the month The stops on our quest on identity run to before the WLUSU's. And really, this is a sad, sad excuse. Voting is not that for the gamut-from Ugg boots surgery fatiguing; check some names, drop the ballot in the box. Thankfully, some conscientious students did care enough to vote, and These self-images hardly exist in become more and more aware of those students have elected an interesting student government. a vacuum, either. We're all heavi- the huge collection ofindividuals Allan Cayenne will be heading up a board comprised of a great deal of ly influenced by the people that make up the world, we seek progressive directors. While he has the management experience to tackle around us and not just women, to carve out something that is the day-to-day duties of president, he will have to make sure he's pre- BRYN BOYCE in spite of what shows like distinctly our own. But the fact pared to meet his directors halfway in order to get things accomplished, Production Manager Extreme Makeover seem to sug- that our 'own' is so influenced by and they will have to do the same. gest. the outside world can be a seri- If they can do this, all of Laurier's students will reap the benefits of a "Just be yourself and be happy The American Society for ously nauseating realization (or a responsive student goverment next year, whether they performed their with who you are." Aesthetic Plastic Surgery report- political tool, in the case of democratic duty or not. This is the all-too-familiar ed that cosmetic surgery is grow- Harper and Jae-Gyun). response to shows like Swan, ing significantly among men and A whole slew of disorders and Extreme Makeover and the entire their predominant reasoning is diseases are said to be related to

practice of plastic surgery. It related to economics. To com- this feeling of anxiety - this 'one might ring true, in a campy sort pete with younger men that among many' concept that Cultural ignorance to blame of way, but it definitely doesn't 'have the look', older men are seemingly strips us of our indi- lend much to the body-image 'updating their look' in hopes viduality. Our quest for individu- debate. that it will increase their chances ality and difference is so The recent furor surrounding the because you can say something, Isabelle Dinoire, a French of getting that job or promotion. engrained that it may actually editorial cartoons originally print- doesn't always mean you should. woman whose face was Image may not be everything, contribute to body dysmorphic ed in a Danish newspaper is a per- The cartoons are offensive to mil- deformed in a dog attack, recent- but it is often the first thing that disorder, bulimia, and anorexia - fect example of the problems that lions of people and are at best, ly emerged following her people notice. Canada's own just to name a few (no, can arise out of misunderstand- insensitive, and at worst, blatant ground-breaking facial trans- Stephen Harper went through an Conservative governments aren't ings and ignorance about other racist. plant operation to say she is image-improvement campaign one of them). cultures. On the other side, many protes- grateful to have a face "like just this past summer in prepara- Is plastic surgery all that differ- European papers which have re- tors have turned to violence, and everybody else" so she can tion for the election. ent than resume padding, earning printed the cartoons, the most have called for boycotts of Danish "resume a normal life." "My wife said to me recently: an undergraduate degree or infamous of which features the products, cut trade ties and Clearly, Isabelle's case is a far 'You do need to have more fun.' wearing Ugg boots? They're all Prophet Mohammed wearing a attacked embassies. cry from the insecure women She said: 'You're not having concerned with personal bomb for a turban, cited solidarity These actions make the mistake that fall prey to the exploitative enough fun, even by your stan- improvement, whether real or for the cause of freedom of speech ofimplicating all ofDenmark's cit- drivel they call extreme reality dards.' So we'll do some of that," imagined, and the worst that in their reasoning for doing so. izens and its government in the television. Or wait... is it? explained Harper in a media could be said is that all these pro- In doing this, the papers have controversy, when the cartoons Plastic surgery is such a logical address. Granted, he may not cedures remold a person accord- exacerbated the issue and offend- originated from one newspaper. extension of our cult of individu- have focused on tummy tucks ing to dominant views of 'attrac- ed many more people than the ini- Both sides must be willing to see ality that if we, as a society, didn't and botox injections, but the tive' and 'successful'. tial printing did. If these papers things from the other perspective see this coming then we sure as general idea is very much the So who's fault is it?Which insti- wanted to show support for free- before the problems will be hell should have. same. tution or person should our col- dom of speech, they could have resolved. Hopefully, this will hap- The word individual implies Kim Jae-Gyun, a mayoral can- lective index finger point at and simply written editorials express- pen sooner rather than later so as that we can't be divided - but we didate in South Korea, under- scold? ing their view, rather than reprint- to avoid more needless violence, are. We divide ourselves between went cosmetic surgery - like so Well if I knew, 1 sure as hell ing the cartoons. deaths and intolerance. our competing self-images all many ofhis political competitors wouldn't tell you until I landed a

The fact remains that while free- the time: the romantic, the sport - to project a better image to the multi-million-dollar book deal dom of speech is important, just enthusiast, the philosopher, the public. "People around me, espe- and a spot on Oprah - 1 want my peacemaker, the good friend. cially my wife, told me that my fifteen minutes as much as the Is it really that hard to believe eyebrows were too thin to give a next individual. These unsigned editorials were agreed upon by at least two-thirds of the The that people have radically differ- strong impression and I followed Cords Editorial Board and do not necessarily reflect the views ofThe Cord's ent and interchanging physical their advice," he said. volunteers, staff'or WLUSP. self-images too? It's pretty ironic that, as we [email protected] THECOKDWI-EKLY| ￿ Opinion WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 7 Throwing sand in Laurie's box Laurier election season is finally over, but we couldn't have made it this far without some good old-fashioned pettiness and unprofessionalism

garbage somewhere where they when I asked him why? follow the rules and b) debate. If ended, "It's a witch hunt!" can't see. We can be dirty about "No comment." you're going to make people show Please. Last time I checked we this." OK, fine. At least by not answer- up, make it worth their while. were at a small university in For the love of God, people. ing questions he wasn't really is more CARLY BEATH The second problem Ontario, contained in one block. Now, to be fair, I'll start by say- wasting anyone's time, and he fit- overarching and extends the This not Opinion Editor past is Salem. This is not ing that the author of that email tingly ended up in last place. realm of the WLUSP Annual 1950s America and you are not later retracted this statement and Then came the presidental sec- General Meeting. Joesph McCarthy. Since Laurier's annual elections apologized for it in another email. tion of the evening. I asked presi- We're all getting ready to enter And as someone said to me are over, we can all breathe a sigh But that this email was even dential candidate Zack Weinberg a the real world. These examples recently, "WLUSU doesn't matter

- ofrelief and grow up. written in the first place says a lot similar question - why couldn't he smack of an unprofessionalism one block off campus." WLUSU's election day crept up about the mentality surrounding be bothered to submit a platform and insularity that won't fly out But before anyone gets upset on me this year; I woke up one Laurier politics. And I have to tell to the very newspaper he was run- there. with me, you could take this

morning surprised to realize the you, it worries me. ning to work with - and I got the Do you think Stephen Harper phrase and apply it to many differ- elections were only a couple of We're university students. We're very same answer. would have been elected by tear- ent things at Laurier, WLUSP days away I'm certain this was supposed to be intelligent, critical ing down other included. because the campaign unfolded thinkers. We're supposed repre- people's cam- This isn't to say that these organ- without the petty dramas, mud- sent "Canadian Excellence". We're supposed to represent paign signs? Or izations and their members don't slinging and nitpicking of years All of this, and the best we can "Canadian not releasing a do lots of amazing things - they do. past. come up with is acquiring and Excellence" and the best platform and And these are the things that will I actually thought we had throwing away campaign materi- we can come up with is shadily then showing up endure. But all of the in-fighting bypassed these types of things als paid for by people who are put- at debates saying, and mini-dramas don't matter one altogether. ting their time and effort into a throwing away other people's "No comment?" bit five minutes down the road, in I've been here four years. I really cause they truly believe in? The questions terms of both time and space. should have known better. It was- Bravo. I think a slow clap is nec- campaign materials? I think a slow themselves are So keep this in mind. Forget the n't even until after the elections essary here. A very, very sarcastic ridiculous; he unimportant stuff and make the that I learned that lesson. slow clap. It's a mixture that's clap is necessary here. would have been most of your time here. Do things I learned it by way of the follow- equal parts stupidity and under- laughed out of because they help you grow, and ing email, circulated on the handedness and it astounds me. politics. respect what other people are try- Campus Conservatives listserve I mentioned the WLUSP elec- "No comment." Quite often, we fall into the trap ing to do, even if they don't always and copied verbatim here: tion earlier, because it wasn't with- Awesome. of putting way too much stock in align with your values. "Go up to that LSPIRG booth out its share of idiocy, either. The first problem is this: the petty politics of Laurier. This is Act like the grown-up you are, in that will be set up in the hall of First off, WLUSP Board of Weinberg was one of two con- evident in another email circulat- stead oflike a kid throwing sand in fame on Thursday and ask for a Directors candidate Daniel tenders for WLUSP president. Had ed to Campus Conservatives in an the sandbox, and we'll all be better bunch oftheir leaflets to hand out. Komesch declined his one minute he not run, there would have been effort to find out who the non- offfor it. Pretend like you are a supporter. speech, and then refused to no race. And if you're going to Conservatives on the mailing list And then, dispose them in the answer any questions. His reply force competition, you'd better a) were and get them off of it. It [email protected]

It snows in Canada - who the hell knew? It happens every year, yet we always seem caught off guard by Old Man Winter, laments Mark Ciesluk

in much the same way that people who live in 'Tornado Alley' should get used to replacing damaged windows and lost pets on an MARK CIESLUK annual basis, people who live in or Thus WisemanSpaks the near Ontario's 'Snow Belt' might want to have winter tires and a This weekend past 1 was invited to shovel ready by mid-October at head north in the middle of the the latest. first blinding wet-snow storm of As it turns out, the people ofthis the year to spend the night at a city love surprises so much that cabin. they've decided to be surprised Naturally, I jumped at the every single year by the wildly opportunity to spend a night soak- unexpected arrival of snow, in ing wet in the freezing cold a mil- winter, in Canada. lion miles from anywhere, and To be fair, it is difficult to accept away we sped. the sudden realities of chunks of As the kilometres inched by and ice hurtling horizontally out of we struggled to make headway nowhere at high speeds after hav- through the sheets of blowing ing spent the previous couple of snow, I was surprised to see the weeks lounging in unseasonable tracks cutting a path in front of us warmth. on the road clearly spinning out of Exempting those brave few who control at times and swerving were swallowed alive by the lethal - sharply at others. ly soggy morass that is Willison This, combined with the multi- Field, some more ambitious stu- tude of vehicles sticking out at dents were even able to success- awkward angles from banks and fully engage in light sport around drifts along the side of the road, campus during January. Contributed Photo that served to remind me of the con- However, the fact remains UNDERSTANDING IN A CAR CRASH - Maybe one of these years we won't be surprised by the arrival of snow, and are somehow wholly clusion I draw every winter: the many people we'll stop sending our cars into ditches. Maybe. people of this region suck at deal- and unapologetically under-pre- ing with it. pared for this entirely predictable a it's going to It's the same story every time: event. exceeding -3 degrees and upwards remind him of his God-given and spot of advice: continue snowing this year, and it come the first big dump in Panicking drivers bring many of 5 whole centimetres of snow. responsibility to clear the damn some old lady's will, in fact, snow again next win- November or December an inex- roads in the city to a standstill as How difficult is it really to drive sidewalk before ter. plicably confused shmuck stands minor, completely avoidable acci- the speed limit for once in your family sues for negligence and to Beat the rush and buy a scarf in front of the news cameras in the dents pile up across the region. life; to hit the breaks more than walks away with enough money snow today. Who knows, you might even middle of the blizzard talking Plans are cancelled wholesale as five feet from the stop sign? Is it never have to live near remember to be ready to use it. about how it took him completely people shiver inside their homes, actually too much to ask that you again? not," and offer by surprise this year. cowed by the awesome ability of fire up the snow-blower, grab a I say, "of course parting prediction letters@cordweekly. com Call me crazy, but I suggest that nature to unleash temperatures shovel or call the landlord and an invaluable |The 8!￿ WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 Opinion CORDWEEKLY The pseudoscience ofBody Worlds 2 If it's so educational why did Tanya Doroslovac have to explain to three attendees that they are, in fact, real dead human bodies?

would fly with many ethicists. But, since Body Worlds has been mar- keted as science, nobody seems to be complaining. Nobody but me. TANYADOROSLOVAC The problem with the exhibit is Working Stiff that it doesn't succeed in any of the educating that it purports to do, Last weekend I had the life-scar- and there is a severe lack ofrespect ring pleasure of visiting Body for the awesomeness we're sup- Worlds 2 at the Ontario Science posed to be seeing in our own Centre. design. This isn't Lenin's tomb, this Don't get me wrong, the Science is Lenin glued to a pair of skis giv- Centre is awesome, and I have ing you a high five as you walk by. many fond memories of being If the exhibit was truly educa- electrocuted by the Van de Graaff tional, why was it left to me to generator as a child. explain to at least three different However, it seems to me that the groups of people that they were Body Worlds exhibit is little more looking at the actual meat and than a pseudoscience side show. bones of the formerly living, and I'm sure it's attracting record tick- that "plastinate" does not just et sales at the Centre; unfortunate- mean "plastic model"? ly, it does little to actually promote I had to try not to puke as the good science to the public. two kids in front of me put their Body Worlds is "The anatomical hands into the lateral slice of a exhibition of real human bodies." really dead obese person and Scientifically speaking, the donat- started feeling around and going ed cadavers have gone through "Ewwww!!!" the extensive process of plastina- I had to say, "SIR CAN YOU tion, preserved perfectly so that PLEASE STOP THEM FROM the general public can see the TOUCHING THAT. PLEASE. JUST complex inner workings of their FOR A MINUTE CAN THEY NOT own biology. DO TFIAT?!" To which he respond- In layman's terms, it means that ed: "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't see the these actual dead guys have been 'Do not touch sign.'" I had toactu- shot up with chemicals, flayed, ally tell an old man: "YOU NEED A posed in creepy positions, and SIGN TO TELL YOU NOT TO LET placed in a museum so parents YOUR CHILDREN TOUCH DEAD can warn their kids (and I'm not PEOPLE'S INSIDE PARTS?!" even making this up) "if you don't It seemed as though half the vis- wear a helmet, you'll end up like itors didn't know what they were that." looking at, while the other half were caught in this shocked state of grotesque interest. How is that educa- I had to say to a grown man: tional? And just who is "YOU MEED A SIGN TO TELL YOU this Gunther von Hagens guy? How did NOT TO LET YOUR CHILDREN anyone take him seri- TOUCH DEAD PEOPLE'S INSIDE ously in the first place? I mean, think PARTS?!" about it. "Hey Gunther, what do you have in the basement?" "Oh, just a Now let's get some things bunch ofcorpses people left me in straight. I have no problem what- the name of science. I'm gluing soever with people donating their one of them to a skateboard!" That bodies to science, or with valid is more frightening than anything research being done on the Hollywood has ever thought up. deceased. I see the educational Yes. Even more than Hilary Duff. value of looking at a dead (but oth- In my opinion, the best part of erwise healthy) pair of lungs in a the exhibit was the comment book jar, and comparing them with the we got to sign at the end. The com- blackened lungs of a smoker in the ments were split between things next jar. On the other hand, seeing like "Thank you for this beautiful a skinless man ride a skinless and enlightening display. I now horse seems like overkill. Strangely know that God truly has a design grotesque, Victorian-era overkill. for humanity," and "Thank you. Dead bodies with their eye- It's my birthday, and I've never brows glued back on is disturbing seen that many exposed balls in enough, but dead bodies wearing my life." figure skates, forever entwined Anyway, at that point, the show with each other in the Death Spiral was over and done with, and I felt is really fucking disturbing, and in like I had seen a dirty peep show 1 my humble opinion, not science. shouldn't have. In fact, the entire exhibit looked So why am I telling you all about more like an art gallery than a it? Because I didn't know what to study of biology. Each figure had a think about the show until I saw it little plaque, named and signed by for myself. Now I know it worries Dr. Gunther von Hagens, the cre- me. ator of the exhibit and the process I'm wondering if it worries you a Contributed Photo of plastination itself. I'm not sure little, too.

whether an art exhibit full of TURNS OUT, BEAUTY ISN'T ON THE INSIDE AFTER ALL - At least in the case of the Body Worlds 2 exhibit, current- human taxidermy, donated or not, [email protected] ly on display at the Ontario Science Centre. ffIECOR^VEEKLY| Opinion WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 ￿ 9 Letters to the Editor

Be careful with the F-word present in anti-Harper rhetoric, I also Rexdale was not an actual view of to lash out at the problem itself and anger is indeed the result of misun- have to address this concept of mine, yet even if it was, it would be a the idiocy of violence, by use of exag- derstanding, the blame for which Try to remember the last time your Harper being a "mini-Bush." It's true response to the issue of crime, not geration and humour. I apologize rests on my part. roommate said the word "fuck." Not that many Americans perceive Harper minorities. again to all those who misconstrued too memorable? 1 bet you haven't for- as being an ally given his relatively To conclude here, my attempt was me, and hope that you now know your Tyler Feltmate gotten the first time you heard your closer position on the grand spectrum mom / dad / coach / teacher say it. If (although Canadian Conservatives "fuck" isn't part of someone's daily are closer to the center/left-centre vocabulary, when they do use it, you than in the American system). Does Still over 20 sunfe) notice. Same goes for that other f- this mean Canada will become SjlptS; Life Financial word... fascist. Americanized? If the current US pres- ?performances left Marcos Moldes is unhappywith the ident was a Democrat, would a recent election results. Fine. He Liberal or NDP win make us more miqc nu cm^mm "* o ' % Don't .. mmmf II V IIII W»41111V a Proud sponsors of *h« ofograrn crosses a dangerous line, though, in Americanized? Absolutely not. If expressing his desire to see the Americans feel warmer to Harper and "Western fascists" kicked out of office. relations improve because of it, what Forget that he just called me, and 5, have we lost? Greater trading? Better 370, 902 other Canadiansfascist (after communication? Given Harper has all, what is one who votes for fascists, not even taken office and he is already if not a fascist himself?). Forget that standing up for arctic sovereignty and Stephen Harper is, in fact, a social softwood lumber, I think it is safe to moderate, who at the 1994 Reform say Harper is defending Canada. It's Party convention, voted against a res- about time we had a healthy relation- define marriage strictly as a ship with our to the south. olution to neighbour 'The easy access pass students heterosexual union, and in 2002 said: I realize that you may not place Some restrictions on concerts apply MJP ' "1 don't believe an Alliance govern- Harper among the great PM's of our ment should sponsor legislation on time, like Jean "A proof is a proof" abortion or a referendum on abor- Chretien, but ultimately, Harper's j/ rp> J . tion." Forget all of that, but remem- Conservatives haven't stolen any * ber this: money to date, so already they're \ Contrary to popular belief, / ■Hftj * i "Fascist" is the one of the most vile doing better than the last govern- \ easy access was [, H

" terms you can use to describe some- ment. a one one. It is a label, precisely powerful now because so few people sink low Derek Blonski enough to earn it. Calling "fascist" anyone who disagrees with your poli- An Apology tics is, therefore, deeply irresponsible, \ With easy access you get tickets to V not just because it unfairly damages Anyone who read the article I wrote the current KWS the target(s) thus smeared, but, more two weeks past ("The solutionsto gun importantly, because it degrades the violence aren't found at the bottom of impact the term has when properly a bottle, obviously") will understand applied. why I am writing this now. With all Harper and most of his caucus pre- sincerity, I would like to apologize to fer same-sex civil unions to same-sex those who were offended by my com- marriage (the same position, inciden- ments and also to make it very clear tally, as held by fohn Kerry in the US, that any injured feelings arose from a and as held by the Socialist Party in misunderstanding of the argument I France). Harper would make a poor was making. interior decorator. Harper looks like a I understand how my comments robot. regarding the mafiaand JTF2 could be If this is fascism, how do we misread as actual opinions held by describe Palestine's new government, myself, so I want to make it clear that which denies Israel's right to exist? If these were not suggestions but exam- this is fascism, what term ofopprobri- ples in an argument against such vio- um do we reserve for the mullahs of lent recourse. It was my intent to two teenage boys show how violence is as imbecilic a ARE Iran who, in July, put WHAT YOU DOING THIS deathfor the ofhomosexu- response to violent crime. The mafia SUMMER? to "crime" ality? and JTF2 were exaggerated examples If this is fascism, Mr. Moldes, what of violent 'solutions' which were The of Waterloo is currently hiring for the followingpositions: the FUCK do we have left to say about meant to be targets for satire, to show City Auschwitz? exactly how foolish such an approach would be and if you read the article Joel Fleming fully, you will see that after mention- SUMMER OPPORTUNITIES: ing each, I denounce it as ridiculous. & 13 Harper good for Canada/US My goal was a roundabout argu- Summer Camps- Leaders Coordinators Apply by February ment against capital punishment. form required Browsing The Cord during election Additionally, references to alcohol time I couldn't help but laugh at some were meant to inject humour into the Student Labourer Positions Apply by February 24 of the comments made about the article, so that I didn't come across as "secret agenda" of the "out of touch" maniacal or in any way serious! form required western-based "fascist" conserva- To the authors ofthe letters appear- tives, but glacing through the paper ing in last week's paper, a Ms. Grey Silo Golf Course Apply by February 24 today I realize it was nothing com- Thompson and Mr. Green, I question Park Inn/Concessions Apply by February 24 pared to the piece de resistance put as to where it was in my article that I together by Mr. Moldes. ever mentioned the issue of race. That Truly, this article combined all the the gun problem predominantly con- PART TIME POSITIONS: beautiful elements of political igno- cerns Toronto's black community is rance, blatant fear-mongering and true, but I object to the idea that my Instructor/Lifeguard Apply by February 13 intolerance that to this day I've only statements, while admittedly easy to Youth Program Coordinators Apply by April 21 seen rivaled in The Star. Bravo sir, misread, be taken as racially charged. bravo. I have already said that bringing Food and Beverage Associate I fully understand it's an opinion either the mafia or the JTF2 into Operations/Custodial Associate piece but bear that in mind when I start spouting off what I'm sure he Letter Policy: Program Delivery Associate would as "ridiculous con- categorize All letters to the editor must be signed arid sub- servative ideology." It's funny to think mitted with the author's name, student identifi- and telephone number, tetters and cation number, for position details, that the Charter ofHuman Rights must be received by 12pm Tuesday on disk, or Please see our website at www.citv.waterloo.on.ca Freedoms, which is cited by Mr. via e-mail at [email protected] with 'Cord letter.' Letters how to apply online! Moldes the subject heading of application and information on in protecting his individual must be typed or easily legible and may not rights, was originally born out this exceed 350 words. The Cord reserves the right to edit any letter for brevity and clarity. Spelling very same "ridiculous ideology" by The Cord and grammar will be corrected. Application guides & forms can also be picked up at C(TYOF John Diefenbaker in 1960, who coin- reserves the right to reject any letter, in whole THE |jjj in part. cidentally was also a "western fascist." or Human Resources, 100 Regina Street South, Brushing over the meaningless and The Cord reserves the right not to publish \SIc%\RT\QOWW WIW IV#W that is to be libelous or in N2J ever popular material deemed Waterloo, ON 4AB. "robot-like" and "scary" contravention with the Cord s Code of Ethics or accusations that seem to be ever- journalistic standards. jlHi Cord 10|￿WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 Sports Weekly^

Jordan Jocius

SOLVING THE GOALIE - Rookie forwards Lauren Barch (77) and Andrea Ironside (66) size up Windsor netminder Katie Clubb during Saturday's 6-1 win. Their line netted three goals in the win. Offence erupts in weekend wins Ladies down Windsor and Western while Laurier backstopper Morgan Wielgosz, the top goaltender in Canada, recuperates from a concussion

MIKE BROWN over. he added, "And this team plays defenders long enough to one- tion, second-year forward Diana Sports Editor "Three goals were really weak," really well when they get pissed time a Fiona Aiston pass into the Cicchillo received high praise admitted Osborne. "Kirsten, for off." top corner of Clubb's cage. from her coach for her second- A week and a half ago, the Golden whatever reason, didn't react to After killing off a 5-on-3 penalty, The Hawks added three more in period tally, a monstrous solo Hawks women's hockey team did the pressure." the Hawks jumped ahead when the third period to round out a effort for a top-shelf backhander. not look so golden, suffering a 5-2 Trost and the Hawks looked rookie forward Andrea Ironside convincing 6-1 win. "It was one ofthe nicer goals I've loss to the Western Mustangs, a more at ease this Saturday, howev- picked off a clearing attempt and "We roll all four lines and we seen," mused Osborne. "Ever." team who tops only UW in the er, as they welcomed the high- found fellow rookie Lauren Barch work really hard off the ice, so our Goaltending remains a concern, muddled OUA standings. octane Windsor Lancers to RIM in the crease. Showing tremen- conditioning comes into play," though. Trost was shaky again, It was hardly a result befitting Park. The game would prove to be dous patience, Barch contorted explained Ironside after her three- allowing three goals on just 13 the defending Canadian champi- a chippy, fast-paced affair, and her body and deposited a twisting point performance. shots to keep the game closer than ons and the top-ranked team in WLU's mental toughness spurred backhand to take a 2-1 lead. The following night, the Hawks it needed to be. Laurier fans will be the nation. But if this weekend's them on. again struggled with happy to hear, however, that action is any indication, the The Hawks got off to a quick "They clutch, they grab, Western. In another Wielgosz will be bringing her Hawks shouldn't be too con- start when third-year forward they get fast-paced, physical nation-best 1.10 GAA back to the cerned. Lyndsey Parissenti beat Windsor's weekends their sticks up, they slash - and match, the game Hawks lineup for next After flogging the visiting imposing netminder Katie Clubb would come down to double-header with Queen's and Windsor Lancers 6-1 on Saturday just a couple minutes in. End-to- that pisses us off. And [Laurier] the wire. With 17.2 Brock, both vying for the much- night, the Hawks avenged their end action continued throughout seconds remaining, coveted second bye through the recent loss with a 4-3 squeaker on the period until ex-Hawk Alison plays really well when they get the team's leading first round of the playoffs. Sunday. Goodman found herself on a clear scorer, Laurissa At 18-2-1, the Hawks sit light- According to head coach Rick break and beat Trost for the equal- pissed off." Kenworthy, potted years ahead of their closest com- Osborne, the Western loss was the izer. the game-winner and petitors from Brock, who sport a combination of complacency, The heated affair picked up - Head coach Rick Osborne sent the Mustangs modest 9-7-5 record. Thats no having just clinched the top spot steam in the second, as penalties home with heavy reason to stop working, though, in the OUA with a 2-1 win over and missed calls mounted. hearts, having missed says Osborne: "We want number Guelph, and poor goaltending, "They clutch, they grab, they get But Laurier wasn't done there. a crucial chance to gain ground in one seed in Canada. We want having lost second-year netmin- their sticks up, they slash - and They went for the kill late in the the playoff race. every advantage we can have der Morgan Wielgosz to a concus- that pisses us off," said Osborne of second period, as second-year The Hawks saw continued going into the playoffs." sion in that same Guelph game. their Windsor opponents after the sniper Samantha Cully showed strong play from Barch, who Her replacement, Kirsten Trost, game. great determination in the slot, scored twice, and her linemates wasn't mentally prepared to take Chuckling to himself knowingly, fending off a couple of Lancer Ironside and Kenworthy. In addi- The Cord Weekly| Sports WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 11

SPORTSINBRIEF Pyear heads young offensive staff Men's Hockey 23-year-old OC must find UPSETS! WLU drops UW and Western After two huge wins last week, his own replacement as the Hawks enter the final week of regular season action with a stranglehold on the Mid West Laurier's pivot division at 12-7-2-1. With a bal- anced offensive attack, Laurier dropped Ontario's two teams, beating eighth-ranked Waterloo

- From PYEAR cover 2-1 on Wednesday night before upsetting the fourth-ranked The mood remained light Western Mustangs on Saturday. throughout the morning's press conference, which was sprinkled with current and graduating play- Men's Basketball ers. Both Jeffries and Pyear were Miles explodes in Guelph win quick to acknowledge and address concerns over the youngster's After fighting back to the .500 close ties with the players and mark, Laurier hosted the two top notable lack of coaching experi- teams in the OUAWest last ence. week. The McMaster Marauders "Right now, I'm living with one pillaged the Hawks last of the players," Pyear admitted Wednesday 80-60, but the men somewhat sheepishly. "Obviously, rebounded with an impressive that can't be, so something's going 71-60 win over Guelph. Omar to have to change," he added, Miles destroyed his four-point espousing a plan to move in with season-average with 17 to lead his girlfriend Monica Domingos the Hawks, showing a glimpse of and go from there. the promise that made him a

"I'm going to have to 100 per- Mike Whitehouse/www.laurierathletics.com highly-touted recruit. myself from the cent separate CHILD PRODIGY? - Replacing 34-year-old 'whiz kid' Stefan Ptaszek will be no easy task for the 23-year-old Pyear. players in any sort of social event unless someone like Coach Jeffries Curling is there," acknowledged Pyear. through the 2008 season. Further special teams, but also leaves the limelight? Perhaps one of Men and women qualify for provincials And as for his inexperience? support will be present in Pyear's some wondering if Gabler, who WLU's promising Vancouver prod- Sure, he's never coached, admits running back coach, his father, has 11 years of coaching experi- ucts will take the reigns, be it sec- Bill Francis' men's rink shone in Jeffries, but he sure knows the Barry Pyear, who took his son's ence in his own right, is entertain- ond-year lan Noble or third-year the weekend's crossover play, offence. inexperience lightly. ing offers for the vacant head Steve Williams, or maybe the omi- going 4-0 to clinch second place "I didn't want to go in another "I've been coaching for 33 years coaching position at the nously named Ben Wilsack out of in the eight-team league. The offensive direction," explained and, all of a sudden, without a day University ofGuelph, according to Beamsville. team finishes at 6-1, having lost Jeffries, stressing a desire to hire of coaching experience, he pops a source close to the team. "From what Ryan's told me, only to Queen's as they enter the Ptaszek's replacement quickly right over the top," the elder Pyear The revamped staff goes to work right now, it's wide open and we'll OUA Championships in two during a key recruiting period. "I laughed jovially. immediately, looking to address see what happens," said Philp. and a half weeks. After starting wasn't about to bring someone in Finally, Pyear will rely on two some key areas of concern within One thing is for certain, though. the season 4-0, the women here that wanted to put their other new coaches also the Hawks' depleted offence. The Laurier athletic community is dropped three straight to Brock, stamp on our offence. announced Friday. 24-year-old Foremost among them is the mat- all-too-happy to retain their gritty Western and Waterloo to crawl "I wanted to maintain the conti- Todd Galloway was promoted ter of who will succeed Pyear as leader, who had to turn down a into the playoff rounds. nuity and ... who better, in my from within to take on a previous- starting quarterback. playing position in France to mind, to keep this thing going ly uninhabited role as receivers Will it go to versatile third-year accept the post. Figure Skating it on coach, while Rod Philp becomes Dante Luciani, or will he at "I'll you this is going than the guy that engineered start guarantee Foursome gold Pairs Fours the field?" the self-admitted grey beard on a receiver, where he made the cru- to work," said the normally- takes in Jeffries also cited an unmatched youthful offensive staff as the cial first-down grab on 3rd and 16 reserved Jeffries. "Don't ever for In their second competition of support staff that would help quarterbacks coach. to set up Brian Devlin's memo- one second think this won't work. the season, Laurier's figure Pyear become acclimatized to his Philp's hiring allows previous rable Vanier kick? Will four-year This is going to work, and he's skaters took fifth overall at new post. To begin, Jeffries' own quarterbacks coach Wally Gabler backup Jamie Partington finally going to be really good at it." Ryerson over the weekend. contract has been extended to concentrate on his role with step out of the shadows and into Highlights included bronze medals in the Sr. Silver Similar Dance, Bronze Rhythm and short programs, and a gold medal for Katelyn lolivel, Kim Universal moral ass Edwards, Meghan Tallevi and principles, my Carolyn McEwen Pairs Fours. in

and it's a far less egalitarian one favour of the world's developed not dreams, and they favour the Synchro Swimming nations. wealthy, those who work the than they'd have you believe. The not Campus club comes home on top International Olympic Committee The winter games, in particular, hardest. While nations from across (IOC) and the media claim that seem set up to allow wealthy the globe are encouraged to par- A joint team from UW-WLU, not JOETURCOTTE "the games have always brought nations (which are historically ticipate, most of these nations will yet recognized as a varsity team, SportWriter people together in peace to caucasian) to revel in the success never be able to compete with the traveled to Brock on Saturday for respect universal moral princi- of winning countless medals, top 10-15 countries because they the Canadian University On February 11 the Winter ples" (at least according to the while allowing the poorer nations lack the financial means to do so. Synchronized Swimming Olympics return, and our oh-so- lOC's official website). to be content with just showing up While 'winning isn't everything', League Championships. The 10- humble nation will undoubtedly While such flowery prose might and getting their asses whipped. it sure makes you feel better about woman novice team came home become draped in a cloak of red make you tingle, it's also bullshit. At Salt Lake City in 2002, the top yourself. And if there's any country as national champions in a five- and white, whipped into an oblig- Peace? Like the explosions in ten medal-winning countries were that's renowned for telling the team field, while the free team atory patriotic frenzy. Atlanta '96? How about the reli- all predominantly white members world how great they are, it's our nabbed fourth place honours in Now don't get me wrong, I love gious fanatics taking the lives of of the developed world. While this neighbours to the south. The a very competitive 17-team field. the Olympics. When the games get Israeli athletes at the Munich could be chalked up to the nature Olympics merely pervert sport to underway from Torino, Italy, I'll be games in '72? of winter sports, as cold-weather help Americans further perpetu- Women's B-ball watching. With all the drama that nations tend to be ate an aura of cultural superiority, McGrath continues rampant scoring the games create, it's hard not to. I The Olympics merely pervert countries in the which has made them the targets mean, Olympic storylines are northern hemi- of acts like 9/11. The ever-dependable Meaghan great. sphere, the medal If all goes well in Torino and McGrath put up a career-best 32 sport to help Americans further there are no terrorist attacks or points as Laurier upset Sale and Pelletier? I felt like / was disparity holds true 77-63 robbed. Lucky Loonie? I keep one during the summer other tragedies (God willing), McMaster last Wednesday. perpetuate an aura of cultural added 28 and 23 points under my pillow. Harding vs. games as well. there will be no one happier than She then W. to see respectively in a pair of losses Kerrigan? I was ready to swing a Am I implying George Bush the games superiority. weekend, leaving her stick. So don't go thinking that I'm the Olympics are return on Friday. Not only will they over the 31 points shy of the career not a fan of the Olympics because racist? Not explicitly. distract attention from the just with games 1 am. Besides that, the games aren't All I am saying is that the America's perpetual failings in Iraq OUA record two Afghanistan, they'll also let remaining. The Hawks lost 81-67 What I'm not a fan of is all the very fair, and the figure skating Olympics tend to favour the and to the Guelph Gryphons overbearing rhetoric, rivaled only judges aren't the only culprits. wealthy nations of our world, and America remind the world just its collective balls are. Saturday before squandering a by the size of the egos of the While it's fashionable to espouse a it's not the inclusive parity that the how big Oh, even me late lead in a 50-46 loss to Brock. games' organizers and brain trust. global love-in, in reality the games games' directors often allege. and don't get start-

on drugs ... McGrath is in the nation's top For those who run the are little more than a giant pissing The Olympics are not a world- ed the eco- five in both scoring and steals. Olympics, the 'games' aren't really contest - and an unfair one at that. wide movement, they're an dollars, letters@cordweekly, com games at all - they're a movement, It's a contest decidedly stacked in nomic one. They're about 12 WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 Sports |The Cord WeeS] Diesel crowned queens ofPowderpuff

Sydney Helland

HUFFIN' AND PUFFIN' - You can change the gender, but the fact remains: WLU always beats UW on the football field. Just ask UW's Spread Eagles, who fell to WLU's Victorious Secrets 9-7.

WLU Diesel answer Who's Next's cocky moniker as perennial Powder powers fall in finals of Lettermen Club's annual bread and butter event

JOE TURCOTTE players) yell that the Spread Eagles After a two-and-a-half day falling to the Diesel. Sports GOLDEN HAWK Writer are offside. Many ofthe teams play round robin, Saturday afternoon Diesel went to work and easily under overtly sexual names, or marked the start of the crucial handled a tough Rippers team, For many Laurier students, the ones that are more than a little playoff round. Emerging from the due in part to their perfection of UPDATE Super Bowl wasn't the only impor- suggestive. chaos of Thursday and Friday the tournament's play du jour. tant football championship to be "Coaches and their teams come were eight teams representing Diesel receiver Erica Howard came Week of awarded this past weekend. up with a bunch of possibilities for four schools. In the quarterfinals, up with the tremendously effec- Feb 9 - Feb 15, 2006 From Thursday to Saturday names," explains Lettermen pub- WLU's Victorious Secrets defeated tive sleeper play, which sees a nearly 600 women from Laurier, lic relations director Erik their inter-school rivals, the receiver fool the other into team 02/05/06 McMaster, Queen's, Waterloo and Sherman, a varsity rugby player. Spread Eagles, in a close 9-7 battle. believing that she's not in the play W Basketball 46, Brock 50 Algoma University College took to "It's kind of turned into a com- Having secured a spot in the by talking on the sideline, and W Hockey 4, Western 3 the turf of University Stadium to petition to see who can make the semi-finals, the Secrets had to take then promptly getting open for an vie for the Lettermen Club's annu- best name," adds Maurice. on the five-time champions, Who's easy touchdown reception. al Powderpuff Football "It's good, it's all fun," shrugs Next. After barely surviving their With Diesel dispatching of the 02/04/06 Basketball Guelph 81 Championship. quarterback Beth Booker of UW's quarter-final game against Mac's Rippers, the stage was set for a W 67, Run entirely by WLU's varsity Rippers. "We're all in on the jokes. Crunchers in overtime, Who's Next rematch of the last tournament's M Basketball 71, Guelph 60 Lettermen, the Powderpuff [The weekend's] just a chance to looked to avenge their round all-WLU final, as Howard and co. W Volleyball 1, Ottawa 3 Championship combines the sta- learn more about football; there's a robin loss to the Secrets. looked to dethrone the defending M Volleyball 0, McMaster 3 ples of university life: more was sports, lot skill involved than I actu- "It the first time this team's champs. M Hockey 5 , Western 3 friends, charity, partying and ally thought." lost in three years," Who's Next The game was a relatively even W Hockey 6, Windsor 1 crude sexual innuendo. coach Andrew Agro match-up, as the teams entered The two Powderpuff tourna- Ron entirely by WLU's varsity explained. "Hopefully half-time with the score 7-6 for the 02/01/06 ments - an all-Laurier affair was we can dig in and pull Diesel. Led by the grit and heart of W Volleyball 3, Windsor 1 held two weeks - ago help to raise Lettermen, the Powderpuff out a win." five-year veteran Kristin Pomery, M Volleyball 3, Windsor 2 over $4,000 for the Lettermen The match-up Diesel widened the gap to 14-6. As W Basketball 77, McMaster 63 Club's various charities. The Grand Championship combines the sta- between Victorious the clock waned and the snow M Basketball 60, McMaster 80 River Hospital's Children's Ward Secrets and Who's continued to fall, it looked as M Hockey 2, Waterloo 1 and the Children's Wish ples of university life: sports, Next started to though Who's Next's glorious reign Foundation both received dona- resemble an AFC at the top was coming to a close, tions from this year's proceeds, friends, charity, partying and Championship game, but a strong defensive stand kept UPCOMING HOME. GAMES among others. where the winner is them within reach. In order to become a Letterman, crude sexual innuendo. generally expected to Pinned deep in their own end, 02/10/06 Toronto varsity athletes need to put in over move on M Volleyball vs to the finals Who's Next had only one play 7:00 Complex 30 hours of to PM,Athletic commitment the and bring home the remaining to try and tie things up. club, which can include commu- Skill was certainly on display as title. The game was close, as the Agro called for the hook and lad- nity service or working the doors the weekend unfolded. Diving Secrets marched Who's 02/11/06 to Next's der, which netted a solid gain but vs at one of the charity bashes W Hockey Queen's the catches and great 'tackles' (the six-yard line late in the game, not the necessary touchdown. As 2:00 PM, Waterloo Rec Complex club throws at local bars. tourney is actually one of flag- looking to score a game-tying the final tackle was made, the "We usually give out five or ten football) are the norm, while sur- In M Hockey vs York touchdown. the end, though, Diesel sideline erupted into a vic- Complex 7:30 PM , Waterloo Rec letters a year, but this year we're prisingly hard collisions and hits the strong Who's Next defence torious cheer. expecting to give out 20 to 25," get sprinkled in occasionally, held, giving Agro's team a 14-7 vic- Exhausted after a long weekend M Volleyball vs Rverson notes Lettermen president and sometimes resulting in injury. tory and a berth in the finals. of football, Pomery was more than 7:00 PM , Athletic Complex Vanier Cup-winner Mike Maurice. "There've been one or two con- Secrets coach Steve Williams a little excited. "It was the best "There's just been a lot of guys that cussions and some sore fingers - was pleased with his team's effort, fucking tournament ever," she 02/12/06 - have been helping out who are typical football injuries but that's however. "The weekend was really exclaimed. "This is the best team W Hockey vs Brock 7:30 PM, Waterloo Rec Complex finally able to get their jackets." why we have ERT on hand," good considering how shitty we we've ever had. We started out While charity work is an integral assures Maurice. did in the first [tournament]." with only four returning players, part of the Lettermen, Powderpuff When the competitive juices On the other side of the playoff we brought in a bunch of lacrosse is still a weekend devoted to foot- start flowing and the intensity bracket, LAURIER BOOKSTORE the unnamed Queen's players ... it was just a great bunch THE WEEK ball and partying. In addition to rises, so does the contact and the team fell to the Rippers of UW. of girls." ATHLETES OF t-shirts for each MVP game, both trash-talk. Coaches, players and Mac's second entry to the tourna- Clutching the spoils of victory, Wood tournament finalists are awarded referees all give it to each other in the Adam ment, cleverly named Naked Pomery was anxious to leave the Men's Hockey enough 'pop' to fuel a good, a back-and-forth battle of wit. Bootlegs, also made a playoff field and join her teammates in debaucherous team party. While that contributes to the car- appearance. Unfortunately, like all celebration. "Honestly, I'm just Meaghan Mcgrath It's also one of the few times nivalesque atmosphere of the McMaster football teams of late, going to go party." when you will hear areferee (most weekend, football remains the the Bootlegs couldn't defeat a Women's Basketball of whom are volunteer football focus. strong WLU squad, in this case wwwJaurierathleticsxon^ The Cord Weekly| Feature WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 13 The Laurier Bachelorette

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, Christina is a third-year communication studies major who hopes to pursue a career in Editor Blair Forsyth-Stark decided to wedding/event planning. The former Miss Teen Features Oakville enjoys going out and spending time with friends, especially if there's dancing involved. Born work some Cupid magic and make a love in Singapore, Christina has lived all around the world, having resided in Vancouver and England match with the help of Laurier students. Vote before moving to Oakville. This multi-lingual babe can speak Portugese as well as a little French and Italian and hopes to learn more. Friends describe online for your favourite candidate and the her as fun, outgoing, nice and easy-going and she says she's looking for a guy with a good personality lucky suitor will accompany our lovely who's intelligent and has a good sense of humour. Her ideal first date would be nothing fancy, just din- Bachelorette on a date just in time for V-day. ner in a relaxed environment so that she can really get to know the other person. A definite social but- terfly, Christina can have a good time in any situa- Go to cordweekly.com to vote for your pick by tion. This sensual sweetie says her favourite food is strawberries and chocolate and said the most Sunday at midnight and check online for a romantic thing someone has done for her was send her roses when she was sick. Whether travelling the world or just relaxing with friends, Christina is a post-date wrap-up next week. stellar addition to any guy's black book. > Christina Cravero

For the girl who likes powerful men, you can't get more Who knew intelligence could be so hot? Bryn Boyce is What girl wouldn't love the chance to go on a date with powerful than running a multi-million dollar corpora- a political Science and global Studies major who's trav- one of Laurier's National Champion football players? A tion that affects every Laurier student, and that's exact- elled as far as France and Nunavut in pursuit of his quarterback and wide receiver, the Golden Hawks sexy ly what Allan Cayenne will be doing next year as presi- studies and has been an editor and volunteer for The number 12 Dante Luciani gets major points on and off dent ofWLUSU. Currently the VP : Student Activities, Cord Weekly for four years. Don't go thinking Bryn's too the field for his humble attitude amidst his undeniable Allan has many talents outside of the boardroom absorbed in his studies to have a good time, as this talent. A big fan of Booster Juice, Dante would choose including excellent culinary skills and a knack for plan- sexy blue-eyed blonde loves going out and hanging to take a girl there and then bowling on a date. This ning romantic dates. A double major in kinisiology and out with friends. He likes a girl who's laid back with a self-proclaimed geek says he has a certain knack for english, Allan looks for a girl with a strong sense of dry sense of humour and a certain joie de vivre. When coming up with cheesy lines although he would never morals who likes to laugh and be silly. When asked he meets a girl he likes, he's not afraid to spoil her, hav- use one seriously, much to the dismay of ladies every- what his idea of a perfect date would be, Allan picked ing once taken a girlfriend to Paris. As if that weren't where. But Dante is hardly the stereotypical jock, hav- going to the zoo and eating ice cream. As if his boyish romantic enough, this studious stud is fluent in ing decorated the inside of his high school girlfriend's good looks and easy-going demeanour weren't French and makes a mean espresso. This funny, intel- locker for Valentine's Day. Whether he's scoring touch- enough, Allan's work in the community and abroad ligent and attractive guy would have any warm-blood- downs or just hanging out with friends, this QB cutie with DREAMS make him a certifiable catch that any ed Laurier girl asking: Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce knows how to have a good time and is guaranteed to girl would love to reel in. soir? make any girl feel like a winner.

Yes, that's his real name. This Greek God is heavily A third-year history major at the University of This innovative third-year Business and Chemistry his involved in school, having volunteered as an Waterloo, Lyndsay is anything but the stereotypical major is a regular on Wilfrid Laurier's website for Icebreaker, a Waterbuffalo exec, FRINGE, FnM and nerd down the street. With interests ranging from accomplishments in designing a solar-powered lawn- first charismatic, much more. Stemming from the Honeymoon capital skateboarding and going to Phil's to chilling out and mower in year. Ambitious and Terry is athlete. He a girl who can carry of the world, Niagara Falls, this sizzling Cypriot loves watching The OC, Lyndsay is always up for trying also varsity looks for but when to joke reality TV and spending time with friends. Known for something new. The number one thing Lyndsay looks on an intelligent conversation knows can play the piano and his amazing massages, Poly is looking for a cute girl for in a partner is a sense of humour and friends around. This skilled musician and loves Chinese food. Not afraid to be with a good sense of humour and a good laugh to lav- describe her as "funny, in an awkward kind of way." saxophone romantic, Terry once took a girl on a hot air balloon ish attention upon. This traditonal guy would most- Lyndsay claims she's never been on a "super good finished the date at a fancy Italian restaurant. likely take a girl to dinner and a movie on a first date, date" but would enjoy going to a nice dinner and see- ride and and Christina are In order to plan a perfect date for a girl, Terry would but is known for his ability to make any situation a riot. ing a concert. Although Lyndsay consult her friends and tailor the date to incorporate Friends know Poly as the kind and considerate guy both "straight", when you combine two hot elements favourite things. This imaginative and intelligent who's so funny he'll have you in stitches. Whether he's you never know when sparks will fly. her hottie has a bright future ahead of him that girls would cracking you up or rubbing you down, girls every- be smart to become a part of. where will want to be part of this sexy suitor's Big Fat Greek Wedding. Vote online at www.cordweekly.com 14•WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 Student Lif~

> Eating Disorder Awareness Week, February 5 - 11, 2006 Life at the bottom of a toil

EMMA MCFARLANE Abuse of these drugs led Amy's was going through? Staff Writer digestive track to have trouble func­ judge her as she vi tioning and she would often lay at the disgusting fat an ' I used to know this girl named Amy home, in spasms of pain, while her body to uncover th who emanated confidence. body tried to cope with the foreign son she knew was u She was strong-willed, opinionat­ toxins. She would blame it on her She felt utterly alan ed, loved to laugh and made friends period or the flu when she cancelled Amy had been throu with ease. She dreamed of doing so plans with her friends. How could kept it all inside. Bull many things: traveling, writing nov­ they understand what she had done the only ways she els, acting, going to grad school, vol­ to herself? The guilt was almost as express her turbulen unteering in foreign lands and unbearable as the pain her body was Sadly, this tale is becoming a model. wracked with. moo one. More an From the outside, it looked like A trip to the hospital after one and men, are beco she had it all together. But what hap­ such episode scared Amy into stop­ a cycle of self-hatred pened behind closed doors was a ping her use of laxatives. But the ment that's based · completely different tale. bulimia already gripped her: the dis­ and secrecy. They ar The girl who was so outwardly ease and actions were second 'just stop barfing a composed shattered when she was nature. After reading about purging or to simply 'eat s alone. Stress over perfection, feel­ through vomiting, Amy started to language is the I ings of inadequacy and maintaining practice this and thought she had BN I AN sufferers w the facade she had created for her­ found a better way to get rid of food. drives them further 1 self translated into an eating disor­ This, however, was not the case as battles against thes der that took over her life. vomiting led to an even more dan­ usually waged in sil She would starve herself for days. gerous dependency; an addiction to Like in Amy's cas vVhen that failed, she ate enormous drugs supplied by her own body. people for campi amounts of food to quell her emo­ When a person vomits, their body some are more pro tional anguish. releases endorphins. When the aver­ others. Those who After realizing the effect the calo­ age person throws up, it usually cor­ ally abused in chil ries would have on her body, Amy relates to an illness. But when some­ immense loss or se would force her hand down her one with bulimia nervosa (BN) vom­ throat to purge the food right back its, they are seeking the 'high' that out. Her knuckles would grind occurs at the end of the act. This and/ or emotional against her back teeth, making raw then throws their insulin and sera­ more apt to devel wounds on her hands. Vomit would tonin levels off, causing the victims their lives seem to stream down her face. The acrid to need to fuel up on sugars to stabi­ food is somethin taste of bile would stay in her lize themselves. The ups and downs think they can coot mouth for hours afterwards. She continue until the victim stops from But as Amy pro would stare at her reflection in sheer exhaustion. Because vomiting eating disorders ar . the mirror, as burst blood vessels doesn't purge everything that was and aren't a pathw emerged on the whites of her originally ingested, most BN's the outside or othe eyes from the pressure of con­ remain at a normal weight or fluctu­ slow and painful ~ tinual vomiting. She knew ate between 5 - 20 pounds per week. that kill you a little n this would not be the last The taxing effects of this on the you, or someone y time she found herself body are numerous: tooth enamel from these or othe searching for answers at erodes, the esophagus and intestines yourself or them em the bottom of a toilet, can rupture, the sphincters can stop The leading cause but she hoped and functioning and the body can these afflictions is prayed that this final become unable to keep food down at itself, but the high purge would cure her all. As a result, immense fatigue accompanies it. H pain and imperfections. ensues. Because of the seratonin over these diseases Amy had fought a losing deficiency, depression can ensue the years thrown battle with eating disor­ and lead to destructive activities opportunies was ders (EDs) since she was 16. such as alcohol, drug and sexual returned. Nearly 6 years later, there was abuse, even self-mutilation. Amy lost friends no end in sight. Endorphins are also released when ships, university cr She had been overweight injuries occur and, sadly, many all, a happy life. Sh as a child and vowed never to be bulimia and anorexia nervosa (AN) to repair and regal fat again. Initially, healthy diet­ sufferers also cut themselves to lost, and it's an upl ing led Amy to lose the extra achieve the high. least she isn't faci pounds and she gained self- Amy's arms were criss-crossed such as www.nedi esteem. But the fear of gaining with razor and knife cuts. She said the National E the weight back led her to that they reminded her of what she Information start taking laxatives after a had done and would help dissaude www.bana.com, 'forbidden' food was eaten. her from bingeing again. "If I don't Anorexia Nervosa After the first few weeks do this, I'm apt to kill myself," she great resources an using laxatives, something said, ".I can't get to sleep some nights how to talk to so in Amy's brain snapped. unless I have some form of physical AN and how to go , She was no longer eating pain to make me forget about the right help. for hunger or for comfort; emotional." All they did, however, Laurier also ha she was eating with an was maim a beautiful girl who didn't able at Health Ser uncontrollable force that know how to get help. can provide free was beyond her capa- Indeed, Amy's friends and family sions, an onsite bilities to stop. knew little, if anything, about her where to find ad Cupboards were problems. Even she was in denial Waterloo. emptied, food and had become so accustomed to There is no sh was hoarded the rituals that stopping them scared you need help. Re and countless her more than the physical toll the hand is sometime hours and disease took on her body. Most stress but doing so is hal money were in her life seemed to result in a binge Don't suffer in th spent on food and purge cycle; because of this, is someone who c and packs physical and long-term relation­ on the light. upon packs of ships were practically non-existent. laxatives. Who would understand what she ;tudent Life WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 •15 toilet uny's was going through? Who wouldn't func­ judge her as she visualized tearing ay at the disgusting fat and flesh from her e her body to uncover the beautiful per­ reign son she knew was underneath? 1 her She felt utterly alone and hopeless; :elled Amy had been through so much but :ould kept it all inside. Bulimia was one of done the only ways she could physically 1st as express her turbulent emotions. vwas Sadly, this tale is not an uncom­ mon one. More and more women, one and men, are becoming ensnared in stop­ a cycle of self-hatred and disillusion­ t the ment that's based in concealment ~dis­ and secrecy. They are usually told to cond 'just stop barfing and eat properly' rging or to simply 'eat something.' This ~d to language is the last thing that had BN I AN sufferers want to hear, and food. drives them further into hiding. The se as battles against these disorders are dan­ usually waged in silence. on to Like in Amy's case, EDs occur in 'f· people for complex reasons, but body some are more prone to them then aver­ others. Those who have been sexu­ Greg Galoska r cor­ ally abused in childhood, dealt with orne­ immense loss or severe trauma, feel vom- an incessant need to be perfect or that have trouble dealing with stress This and/or emotional expression are sera­ more apt to develop an ED. When :tims their lives seem to be out of control, Urine. town-- str€ams ~--~ ;tabi­ food is something that EN/AN's owns think they can control. from But as Amy proved all too well, 1iting eating disorders are uncontrollable was and aren't a pathway to beauty, on EN's the outside or otherwise. They are uctu­ slow and painful death sentences into Laurier's toilets -veek. that kill you a little more every day. If 1 the you, or someone you know, suffers amel from these or other ED's, do not let ASHLEY ROSE corporation, and find love along dances and sings the town into was a hilarious musical that at :tines yourself or them continue in silence. Cord Student Life the way. his plan. times had me asking myself: "Did stop The leading cause of death from The Urine Good Company With everything from an on they really did just say that?!" can these afflictions is not the disease "There is no Urinetown, we just (UGC), headed by Caldwell B. stage kiss to a fast-paced kidnap­ While the music was not as .vnat itself, but the high suicide rate that kill people." Cladwell (Jon Krohn), controls ping and even pink furry hand­ catchy as some Laurier shows tigue accompanies it. Help and success This was a surprise to me as I the water supply with an iron fist, cuffs, there were no moments have been, such as last year's pro­ :on in over these diseases is achievable, but sat in anticipation for the unveil­ owning and operating public without hilarity. duction of Fame, the play was nsue the years thrown away and the ing of this horrid place that's only amenity stations around the One of the funniest and inap­ enjoyable and kept the audience vi ties opportunies wasted cannot be spoken of in hushed tones. town. propriate moments came when laughing, even if they were not exual returned. I imagined it being a run-down At one ofthe stations where the Little Sally (Sarah Erdman) was dancing in their chairs. 1tion. Amy lost friends, jobs, relation­ strip, like one of those old Texan patrons are the poorest and pee­ recreating Strong's dying words Luckily for everyone in atten­ Nhen ships, university credits, and most of towns with the tumbleweed ing is not always possible, Strong from the top of a box, the way he dance, the washrooms at the nany all, a happy life. She is slowly trying rolling through the street, that decided to stand up for what he would have laid after plummet­ Turret were open to everyone (AN) to repair and regain what she has smelled of, well, urine. believed in, beginning a rebellion ing to his death. without a small fee. ~s to lost, and it's an uphill battle, but at But no such place existed, as against a fee hike on already crip­ In fact, there were few moments Overall, this year's musical pro­ least she isn't facing it alone. Sites poor Bobby Strong (G[enn James) pling water prices. when Little Sally did not have the duction by Laurier Musical >ssed such as www.nedic.com, home of discovered while plummeting to After watching his father get audience laughing, especially Theatre was a success, unlike the :said the National Eating Disorder his death in Laurier Musical dragged away to Urinetown for when paired with Officer rebellion in the play. t she Information Centre, and Theatre's production of relieving himself in public, things Lockstock (Greg Rattray), who While Hope did manage to take au de www.bana.com, the Bulimia Urinetown the Musical. become confusing when Strong held the production together as over in Strong's absence and steal don't Anorexia Nervosa Association, are Taking place sometime in the falls for Hope (Meagan Tuck), the both police officer and narrator. It the company from unde1peath "she great resources and can help with future when natural resources daughter of the big boss at UGC. was he who explained the obscure her father, it turns out love can't 1ights how to talk to someone with BN or have been used up and water is a Acting out of love and guilt for plot twists and pointed out the run a large corporation. {Sical AN and how to go about finding the scarce, the characters of his father's arrest, a combination most obvious of situations. t the right help. Urinetown rebel against an evil which proves to be his demise, he In spite of its name, Urine town rever, Laurier also has resources avail­ iidn't able at Health Services, where they can provide free counselling ses­ 1mily sions, an onsite nutritionist and t her where to find additional help in enial Waterloo. Write in for a FREE Cord Makeover ed to There is no shame in admitting :ared you need help. Reaching out for a ll the hand is sometimes the hardest step, Nominate yourself or a friend and ;tress but doing so is half the battle. Jinge Don't suffer in the dark when there Cowboys and Angels will do this, is someone who can help you turn tion­ on the light. your makeup and hair FREE. ;tent. t she Send a picture and reasons why you should win to: [email protected] |Thi- Cord Weekly 16￿ WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8. 2006 Student Life Another reason to have sex: it's good for you

JENNIFER O'NEILL hour of spin class. strengthens muscles and bones Body Break Since sex is similar to exercise, and helps transport chemicals the health benefits of exercise can which are important for the body's If you are already eating fruits and also be attributed to sex, such as immune system. vegetables, exercising, taking vita- lowered cholesterol and increased Thus, in order to receive the full mins and avoiding stress, you energy. health benefits of lovemaking, sex might wonder what else you can Sex also helps increase blood should be performed with a part- do for your health. flow throughout the body. It also ner that you love or care about. Well, it's simple: have more sex. causes an increase in deep breath- The emotions and feelings of love Although there hasn't been too ing and heart rate, which helps play a part in increasing the health much research done on this topic, improve circulation. When new benefits. common sense and a few studies blood cells arrive at your organs It's also important to make sure suggest that just one session a they are given fresh oxygen, help- you know the history of your part- week with your partner may have ing to alleviate fatigue and even ner before engaging in sexual inter- more health benefits then you minor illnesses. course. Discuss what sort of things might have thought. Sex, like exercise, releases you are both comfortable doing in Depending on the intensity of endorphins which contribute to the bedroom so that each of you the intercourse, it can burn about 'the runner's high' and diminishes has given complete consent and 150 calories per half-hour. pain levels. are comfortable with each other. Comparing this to a 30 minute Many people also use sex as a Use protection, especially if you

brisk walk - 153 calories per half stress relief. The complete relax- know you are the one carrying an

hour, playing volleyball - 174 calo- ation that follows after a session of STD. Birth control pills protect ries per half hour or weight train- lovemaking, with an orgasm for against pregnancy but will not ing- 147 calories per half hour, sex women and/or an orgasm for men, stop the spread of an STD, so wear can be an effective part of your can help clear your mind and allow a condom as well. Condoms physical activity routine. you to sleep better. should be put on before inter- How does it work? Calories get Sex in a loving relationship can course begins. Although some expended when your heart rate also have specific benefits for both STD's are curable, many will stick rises during sex. Muscles in your men and women. In women, for with you for life and some can arms, legs and abdomen contract example, it releases oxytocin. even kill you. So be safe while during the act as well, and particu- Oxytocin promotes feelings of enjoying the health benefits of sex. larly during orgasms. Having sex affection and the nurturing three times a week can burn instinct. For men, sex encourages almost as many calories as an the flow of testosterone, which Contributed Photo

ACTION DOES A BODY GOOD - As if you needed more excuses to get it on Wine, dine and fondue yourValentine The Cord's Food Critic Josh Boros throws out his top three Valentine's Day destinations and fondue recipes to impress your sweetheart

If you really really love that spe- Valentine's they are offering a romantic meal. If you don't have a by rubbing the sides with the cut cial person in your life, and you three course special menu. fondue pot I suggest you get one; side of the garlic. This wall give the can afford it, Ali Baba's (at 130 Appetizers include a choice of it is possible to juryrig something aroma ofthe garlic without any of King St.) is one of the nicest shrimp bisque, a pear strudel, or up, but when Canadian Tire sells the nasty garlicky breath that can JOSHBOROS restaurants I've been to in oysters on the half shell (hint hint, pots for $5, what's the point? ruin a romantic dinner. Pour the Food forThought Kitchener/Waterloo. raw oysters are renowned for their fondue into the pot and serve with For Valentine's Day they are aphrodisiac qualities). There is 1/4 lb grated Swiss cheese cubes of bread, little meatballs, or Well boys and girls, it's that special offering a dinner for two featuring also a choice offour entrees, high- 1/4 lb grated Gruyere cheese get creative and come up with time of the year again when Cupid 750 ml red wine, soup or their lights of which include raspberry 1 tbsp flour your own idea. goes medieval and starts shooting house caesar, sorbet, a 14oz steak, stuffed chicken supremes and a 114 tsp cracked black pepper the place up with arrows. dessert, and a cheese and fruit pan-seared beef tenderloin and 1/8 tsp grated nutmeg (use Chocolate Fondue That's right, Valentine's Day is course served with port for for dessert three choices including ground if you don't want to buy 6 oz semi-sweet or bittersweet fast approaching and for those of $189.00. As well theyhave a select- berries in a sauvignon sauce. All whole nutmeg) chocolate, chopped you that can smell the scent of love ed menu of theirregular B la carte this can be had at $58.00 per per- 3/4 cup white wine 1/4 cup 35% cream in the air, it's time to seriously start items. And for that little extra son, making it a slightly more eco- 1 clove of garlic, cut in half 1 oz Grand Marnier (optional) considering what you'll be doing something they will deliver roses nomical choice then Ali Baba's 1/2 oz kirsch (cherry flavoured for your significant other. to your table for $49.99. while still being fine dining. liquor), or cherry brandy This one is even easier then If your like most people, dinner Keeping with the upscale theme Now, for most of you, it's time to cheese fondue. Take the cream will most likely be in those plans. is Rushes at the Waterloo Inn. For come back down to earth and 1) In a large mixing bowl add the and put.it into a medium pot and consider a restaurant that meets cheeses, flour, pepper and nut- place on the stove. Heat on medi- the tighter budget of a university meg and toss with your hands so um until the cream starts to sim- student. East Side Mario's gets my the flour completely covers the mer. In a separate bowl, pour the pick as number three for being cheese. cream over the chocolate and stir nice enough for a date, but afford- This will help thicken and hold till the chocolate completely able enough for a minimum wage. the fondue together. Of the two melts. Add the Grand Marnier and For Valentine's they are offering cheeses Gruyere is the traditional pour into a fondue pot. Serve with a choice of appetizer, entree and base for fondue, although I like to fresh fruit or cookies for dipping. dessert off their regular menu for use a blend with Swiss for a little When planning a romantic din- $18.95 per person. more body. This is optional how- ner always remember that the While there are many great ever, and you can just use a 1/2 lb whole point is to share it, not options out there, nothing is more of Gruyere. serve it and hurry back to the romantic then slaving over a stove kitchen. My advice: plan well in for your sweetie, and the best part 2) Next pour the wine into a medi- advance, if you have to research is you get to personalize the meal. um sauce pan and place on the any recipes you want to use, and For example, say you had a special stove. Turn on to medium heat keep it simple. Chocolate or meal earlier in your relationship, and wait till bubbles start to form cheese fondue is sure to please or you know a certain food that on the surface. Then start adding just as much as a seared rack of he/she loves, then try your hand the cheese a little bit at a time, stir- lamb with an apple butter sauce at at it. Here is what I have planned ring constantly in a zig-zag less then half the effort, so pick for the special someone in my life: motion so the cheese melts even- wisely according your abilities. ly, then turn the stove down to low After all, Valentine's Day is Cheese Fondue and add the kirsch. about being with the person you I love fondue, and the whole con- love, not about spending 14 hours cept of fondue is perfect for a 3) Finally, prepare the fondue pot reducing demi glace. The Corp Weekly | VVEDNESOAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 < 17

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partiopatißg tocaxteiis w Canada. ... , , ~,,,,. M .•» hJph }ot,w"^t,a andrtsajooejoife&ne 30.2006, fera medium eittH«®pincj pissa st H&fl.Slock -t „ ai or uneasy or'ir «i> 3 i,f nrA l Offerc d '' 1 Couponv Ta qua% student must sMiet 0} a 12202 a doeu*r,m&ig 4or nwe (nw«m of full ame. anentoce a- w 9" ' ' | 18￿ WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8. 2006 International The Cord Weekly Holmes 'optimistic' in Iraq Canadian ambassador to Iraq, John Holmes, shared his views on the nation's political climate on Friday morning in the Maureen Forrester Recital Hall. He spoke about what it's like to work from a restricted area, the oil sector and the improving but unstable security situation

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A BIG PROBLEM? - John Holmes, the Canadian ambassador to Iraq and Jordan, gestures to the audience while delivering a public lecture in the Maureen Forrester Recital Hall on Friday.

TONY FERGUSON sible aggression from the ground. rity, security," said Holmes, training program designed to they jepardize the security of International Editor Finally, Holmes arrives in the emphasizing the main priority in improve the skills of existing ofFi- those involved. "Green Zone," a safe area where Iraq today. "Despite achievements cers and train new recruits. The "Part ofthe problem is that they Last Friday, a small crowd wel- foreign service workers can do made thus far, there's still a program has been "relatively suc- aren't able to publicize it," Holmes comed lohn Holmes, Canada's their jobs with a relatively low risk tremendous amount to do," he cessful" only because of the hos- said, referring to US Aid workers ambassador to Iraq and Jordan, to ofkidnap or murder. said. tile and unstable environment who are helping Iraqis with the the Maureen Forrester Recital Working in such conditions that prevents rebuilding process. Hall. would cause some to relocate "The perception that [the American many officers Many people in the world are Unlike other foreign offices because of the danger and feeling from walking unaware of this because any sort Holmes has worked at, the of helplessness. And for Holmes invasion of Iraq] is about oil is their beat. of publicity puts the Iraqi volun- Canadian embassy in Iraq has a and his colleagues, working in a "What we have teers who work with the surreal quality, being so far region within a region can be "very perhaps overplayed. They're a very is a new Iraq," Americans in danger. removed from the rest of the coun- unsatisfactory." Being restricted to said Holmes, but Holmes used the s-word once try. Just getting there is a treacher- the Green Zone limits his ability to committed people who want to see despite the again, "to do business in Iraq, you ous experience. understand the people of Iraq, a improvements have to have security." He flies into Baghdad Airport, hard thing to do when you can't the lives of Iraqis improved." there is still a This is difficult to achieve in a where he must participate in a even walk down the street. long way to go. fledgling democracy when not all sequence of events that mimic an But Holmes prefers to remain - John Holmes, Canadian ambassador to Iraq He also took ethnic groups agree on the direc- action Film just to arrive at his optimistic, constantly reminding questions from tion that the governmental system office. himself that he is there for an the audience after is headed. Landing the aircraft involves a important reason. "We are there He explained that the situation his presentation, with one man Federalism is being pushed by sharp corkscrew downward from because we recognize what is hap- on the ground has improved since asking him what he thought was the Kurds and Shi'ites, but is being 4,000 feet to avoid being hit by pening in Iraq is of strategic the start of the US-led invasion, the true American agenda in Iraq. met by strong opposition from anti-aircraft fire. Holmes then importance in Canada," he said. with 13 of the 18 provinces report- "The perception that this is Sunnis, the main opponents of enters the airport where he is met Holmes also touched on various a ing substantial improvement in about oil ... is perhaps over- Iraq's democratic transition. by bodyguards who take him to issues concerning Iraq, including security. played," he replied. "[The Trying to cater to all sides will be the rear of the building. Here they the oil sector. If fully reconstruct- Holmes was impressed by the Americans] are a very committed the main issue in building the new wait for a helicopter to this would mean a is pick them ed, he said per last election that saw a voter people ... who want to see the lives Iraq, but how this is to be done up and take them to the UK capita income of US$3O,OOO for turnout rate of 70 percent. "That's of Iraqi people improved." still a mystery. embassy, where they temporarily every Iraqi. pretty amazing in a place where Part of the problem, according "Ultimately, they will be able to work while the Canadian embassy But obviously, one of the largest you can die going to vote," he said. to Holmes, is that the media does- agree on things," said Holmes, is under repair. The helicopter flies roadblocks to the rebuilding The ambassador also spoke n't pick up on a lot. For one reason holding onto the optimism that low, just above the rooftops, using process is the severe instability highly of the RCMP, who are or another, journalists cannot motivates him to stay in his dan- evasive tactics again to avoid pos- within the nation. "Security, secu- engaged with the Iraqi police in a report on certain things beacuse gerous post. The CordWeekly Religion and Culture WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006￿ 19 Jesus 4 Life

Cartoon ignites Muslimfuror Europe's uneasy relationship with its large Muslim population. Questions of respecting the cul- tures and beliefs ofothers as well RICHARD TOGMAN as how Europeans interact daily with their Muslim countrymen CordInternational CUP Graphic are at stake. The very soul of A small editorial cartoon in the Europe is being scrutinized as Danish newspaper Jyllands- die overwhelmingly secular soci- Posren has caused a worldwide ety copes with an influx of an New translations keep the Bible fresh and relevant in oar ever-changing culture outbreak of violence and terror, intensely religious minority. sparking a new round of debate However insensitive and cal- about the relationship between lous the cartoons may have been, Western society and the Muslim the newspaper had a right and, it Some notable passages More Bible in Cockney. world. appears, a duty to print the car- include "In da Bginnin God However, if you're so pressed The cartoon originated as part toons. It was not an attack on creBd da heavens & da earth," "da for time that you don't even have of a quasi-experiment led by a Islam or a deliberate attempt to earth was barren, wit no 4m of time to read these condensed Danish writer who was con- inflame hatred but an expression ADAM GAUMONT life," and, "we luv coz God luvd versions of the Gospel, don't fret, cerned about the atmosphere of of the right to express one's opin- The Gateway us Ist." Tell it, brother! for the 100-Minute Bible has hit fear in Europe but created ion on any issue, regardless of its But that's not all: these Biblical the bookstands. This condensed repeated Muslim attacks on indi- religious, cultural or ethnic sensi- EDMONTON (CUP) - As anyone rescuers from down under have version supposedly enables you viduals and countries who spoke tivities. Europeans regularly who's tried to read the Bible late- also released a translation in the to take in Testaments Old and out against Islamic fundamental- defame and mock their own reli- ly can attest, it is one tough read! Australian vernacular. New in less than two hours — ism. The newspaper asked for gions and should be free to do Sure, there are some exciting Spearheaded by broadcaster perfect for today's modern, on- submissions of different people's the same to others. parts, but I personally just can't Kel Richards, the Australian Bible the-go Bible-thumper. views on the Prophet Freedom of speech is not seem to get into it. I mean, the (subheaded: "Well, bits of it any- Not surprisingly, they had to Mohammed. enshrined to protect speech that words are italicized seemingly at way") is being heralded as "a rip- cut out a few passages in order to In Islam, it is forbidden to draw everyone agrees with. It's there to random. And who uses words ping yarn about Jesus of cram the original 66-book tome or portray Mohammed in visual protect speech that is widely dis- like "froward" or "whither" any- Nazareth." In it, the Virgin Mary into one action-packed edition. form, as well as any of the major agreed with, hated or even con- more? Stuffy old Shakespearean is described as "a special kind of According to Rev John Pritchard, figures of Christianity or Judaism. sidered blasphemous. The print- fuddy-duddies, that's who. Sheila," the Three Wise Men are a consultant for this quickie ver- Consequently, when submis- ing of the cartoons demonstrated If you ask me, the problem is "eggheads from out East," and sion, "This is an attempt to say, sions were printed which por- the very essence of what that that the last widely accepted the parable of the Good 'Look, there's a great story here— trayed Mohammed with a bomb- freedom means. English translation came out in Samaritan is pragmatically let's get into it and let's not get shaped turban, it aroused much Moreover, the backlash and 1881, and before that, it was the referred to as "the story of the put off by the things that are anger in the Muslim world. violence that has erupted over apocrypha-riddled King James good bloke." going to be the sub-plot. Let's Unrest began in Denmark, the cartoons has exposed the edition way back in 1611. At this give you the big where protests by Muslim groups very nature of the problem in rate, the next official English Notable passages in the SMS plot."' Yeah, sub- became extremely vocal. many Muslim societies. The translation is due to come out in plots are for suck- Worldwide protest emerged with intolerance and hatred that has 2151. Bible include: "In da Bginnin God ers —especially many Muslim countries closing emerged in response to a cartoon It would appear, then, that with all the sweet fight scenes to get their Danish embassies and shows the lack of open debate once again the Australians are creBd da heavens & da earth," announcing boycotts on Danish and the ability to tolerate dis- ahead of their time. Case in to! goods. Protests and small-scale senting opinion that is sorely point: the Bible Society of "da earth was barren, wit no 4m Now lest you rioting occurred amongst many lacking. Violence and death Australia has recently come out think that these of Europe's Muslim communi- threats are never a legitimate with several modernized edi- of life," and, "we luv coz God modernized edi- ties. response, let alone to a mere car- tions of the Bible. tions are trivializ- Buildings were stormed and toon. Most notably, they've pro- luvd us Ist." ing and unreliable, set on fire in Gaza, Syria and As a side thought on the explo- duced the first-ever text-mes- keep in mind that Lebanon. Massive protests and sive nature of our contemporary sage (SMS) translation of the even our so-called rioting occurred throughout the world, we can see the process of Good Book, in all its 31,171-line Similarly, for those who live canonical English texts can hard- Middle East with numerous globalization emerging before glory. With this edition, they're closer to London's East End, ly be taken literally, as they them- death threats uttered against the our eyes. A cartoon by a newspa- apparently targeting the cher- there's British schoolteacher selves are translated from (ancient) of European newspapers who pub- per in Denmark has caused riot- ished 13 to 21-year-old demo- Mike Coles' Bible in Cockney, Latin versions Greek, lished the cartoons. In response, ing on the streets of Damascus graphic, also known as the cell- which describes how "Jesus fed (ancient) Hebrew and texts—now I the Danish Prime Minister has and an editorial being written on phone-toting, internet-obsessed 5000 geezers with just five loaves Aramaic that's what lost in translation! appeared on Arabic news chan- the topic in Canada. With a seem- kiddies who can hardly spell of Uncle Fred and two Lillian call nels apologizing for the cartoons. ingly incomprehensible level their own names anymore. Gish," and "Noah built a So next time you think of dust- off old Gideon Society A handful of prominent interdependence, the balancing Fittingly, you can download bloomin' massive nanny." More ing your

— from that European editors have been act the world must perform to this e-Bible onto your mobile importantly, we also read that Bible that you stole consider instead canned for reprinting the car- maintain order and peace has for free, naturally—and can also "Jesus heals some geezer," and, Holiday Inn, toons. become that much more diffi- text the text from phone to "Jesus ain't dead no more." And if just reading the Aussie version— way funnier. At the core of this fiasco lie the cult. phone, spreading the Word celly- that's not enough, Coles has also it's issues of freedom of speech and style. come out with the follow-up, 20!￿ WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 International |The Cord Weekly

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FIGHTING AIDS SITTING DOWN - A Laurier Bike for AIDS volunteer prepares a banana split while Laurier students pedal out their shifts during the 24-hour long bike-a-thon Options Les options Laurier Bike for AIDS organized 24-hour bike-a-thon in the concourse to raise money make font ail the toute la JESSICA PETER produce something that will help community. difference difference Cord International people across the globe is motivat- "I was extremely pleased to see ing. the great level of support from so While many students were still in "I'm so glad there's something many areas ofLaurier and the sur- HL No matter what Peu importe bed, either recovering from their like this for the students here, it rounding community coming 0 your university la nature de Sunday night or getting a few seems so tangible and I feel like together to support this cause," JB more winks before class, a group I'm really contributing. My spon- she said. □jjl jgk education is, vos etudes con- of early-risers arrived in the sors know exactly what they're Malawi is one of the most heav- £ >j£ you can enjoy universitaires, course at B:3oam Monday morn- paying for," said Erika Van Alten, a ily hit areas by the AIDS pandemic pouvez ing, hopped on stationary bikes participant in the bike-a-thon. and these bicycle ambulances, a career with vous and started pedaling. outfitted with a a difference beneficier d'une For a full twenty-four hours, stu- stretcher, can be cru- "I'm so glad there's something ■ in the Canadian carriere differente dents and staff took turns on the cial in assisting those bikes, each doing their part to like this for the students here, it afflicted with AIDS to Forces. dans ies Forces raise money to fight AIDS. the medical get atten- canadiennes. The bike-a-thon was organized seems so tangible and I feel like tion they need. * Engineers by the Laurier Bike for AIDS group. They can also * * Nine teams took part in the event, I'm really contributing." be used to make vol- Physiotherapists Ing^nieurs

* each with 12 people to share the unteers' time more Social Workers * Physiotherapeutes biking burden. Every team had a valuable, as volun- • * goal ofraising $500. - Erika Van Alten, bike-a-thon participant teers currently spend Pilots Travailleurs The program is part of World 80 to 90 percent of • Doctors sociaux/ University Service of Canada The bike-a-thon was the result their time moving from village to * Nurses travailleuses (WUSC) and Uniterra's Bike for of collective efforts and two village to treat AIDS patients. AIDS, which raises money for months of planning by a number The 24-hour bike-a-thon was ￿ Pharmacists sociales bicycle ambulances in small of clubs campus and organiza- other fund-raising • among activi- Naval Officers * Pilotes towns in Malawi, Africa. tions. ties, including a raffle, two con- Every $500 raised buys one bicy- Mary Erskine, one of the co- certs at Wilf's (the second being * Medecins

trans- To learn more, , „ cle ambulance, including ordinators of the event, was held this Saturday) and a banana * infirmters/ portation and maintenance, impressed by the efforts of the split sale in the concourse. contact us today. ... which gets sent to Malawi. The clubs as well as the support from mfirmieres

certainty that each $500 raised will businesses within the Waterloo * Pharmaciens/ pharmaciennes

* Officiers de

marine

Pour obtenfr de plus ampfes ren seignements, ■ WHISTLER m TREMBLANT ■ LAKE LOUISE veuillez communiquer ■ BANFF ■ SILVER STAR ■ BIG WHITE avec nous des aujourd'hui. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmrnn* Incredible Student Ski Packages Available. Strong, Proud, Today's Canadian Forces. TravelCUTS ?$ owned and operatedby the Canadian Federation of Students. TfCO #1324998 tKSgjjSiL^ Decouvrez vos forces dans les Forces canadiennes.

A tmQ 856-8488 p je» w? ICXSSCS2ZSS www.fon;«s.g(.t« VxilUtti« [the Cord Weekly WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 21

University r-n rr , s-~/ I of Ottawa /jailer ffi/yen | c jrißc | Committed to graduate studies and research! •^ C / The University of Ottawa is becoming one of Canada's top \ Lent] 1 V ne S 112 research universities. In this perspective, it is investing

1

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I ￿ Both groups will benefit from additional initiatives ' * /} Q . j"'k such as our popular travel grants, which allow them to participate in conferences and present their I

* 3pm Tuesday, Feforuajry 14 inn Several academic programs will guarantee even more Tickets Child Tickets 1-- than the amounts mentioned. START AT s3O START AT T8 Centre Star Members Save 30 % & Groups of 20+ Save io% uuttawa For more information, please consult the following i p9]pprtfn* 578-1570 site frequently: U r(c* 1 80 0 265- 8 9 7 7 Canada's universitv www.grad.uOttawa.ca • /acaTf? j| LlV_/ IN THE SQUARE 101 Queen Street N Kitchener VSHUIv ~ Ticket Centre Hours: Monday Friday 10AM BPM Saturday 10AM 6PM ■ ! - ' jjjj |The Cord * Weekly! 22 WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 Page O Fun

This Week's Crossword Sudoku

tron 38 -mixs-a-lot 39. Not off 40. To blur or mangle ink 41. The resident of an rented abode 42. Something to play with Down:

1. Like a Bundy or a Kennedy 2. Slang for gun 3. Strictly attentive to minute details of form in action or con- duct. 4. To activate 5. A mixed emotion ofreverence, respect, dread, and wonder inspired by authority, genius, great beauty, sublimity, or might 6. The 23rd letter of the Hebrew alphabet 8. Negative 9 Ming, basketball 10. Old English 'no' HOW TO PLAY: Fill in the blank squares so that each row/column and The act of 11. endorsing each block of nine includes the numbers 1-9. 18. Place to rejuvenate 21. "I owe you" 19. Like a town idiot or drunkard Across: 24. To 20. Like a hole in the ground prevent the proper func- Sudokii Contest tion 21. To anger or cause irritation 1. Type of boat 25. Firm reliance on the integri- 22. Plural possessive pronoun WIN MOVIE TICKETS/DVDS! 3. To go through a pupal stage ty, ability, or character of a per- 29. Revolutions Per Minute 7. As opposed to 'no one' son or thing 30 Final Fantasy Character [from Successfully complete the Sudoku and bring it down to 12. Instead of'them' 26. Rear of a ship almost all games] Angela at (basement House). a the WLUSP offices of Mac 13. Part of flintlock fire system 27. Time period 31. Slang for pig 14. Brewed beverage 28. Any of various plants of the 32. What dead people have done 15. Like 'a' genus Atriplex 33. Where to keep dead, burned | Be the first to complete the Sudoku and 16. A hilly desert region of south- ||112 32. A stupid person; a dolt people w ' n Final Destination 1 &2 on DVD. ern Israel. [thanks dictionary.com] 34. What con-artists do W*"' There are also 4 packages of 2 tickets 17. What the bull did to the 35. 37. Used to catch dolphins Fet:)nj Not down FINAL •>' t0 the ary 9th showing of Final matador 36. Molecule with an extra elec- 38. Where pigs live Destination 3 at 7pm at Galaxy Theatre. 18. Do this to a mess

Crossword Contest Last Week's Answers | . 1 WIN SYMPHONY TICKETS! 1,rl Successfully complete the crossword and \ 112 bring it down to Angela at the WLUSP offices (basement of Mac House). % 112 \ llk Be one of the first to complete the puzzle and win tm one of four packages of 2 tickets to the February I I 15th performance of Mozart for the Most Part.

j Oh I will be heard! Mark my words, Pete Willison Field will get a skating rink. By Cram Anyone who dares to stand in my way shall meet an untimely and extraordinarily painful end. Don't Drawing Bad Stewie Weekly

Make the voices in your head stop. ] ) # 112 112 Shn don't fight 1t... Be an artist for the Cord. Nseif Be an artist for the Cord! Dance puppets! ft f^W\ Email [email protected] t-t t-t The Cord Weekiy| Classifieds WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 ￿23

VyrnrrTTTCVHH Angie'S Restaurant «■■■■■■«■■■■■■mmmmm—m—mmmmm—mmmm—mmmmmmmmummmmmmmmmmmmmmm—mmmmummmmmmmmmmmmmim—mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm—mmmm Kitchen, line cook and wait staff _ Four Bedroom Housing wanted Eilmjr E*Eft CC B jWt m - New ri I"IfEC 4% m , ror lO when slating m„ an, septet, 2„„e y LOnaOll you buy one of the - following Contiki tours „ departing Canada by May washer, gas heat, gas water heater, cheap ow Accepting Resumes 23/06: * ~ free parking, open kitchen, / utilities, concept _ r r-i ...... s & ( * dining room and living room open onto a pri- Ziggy Cycle Sport Ltd. is looking for EllfOpGan Explorer ■ ■ * ElirODGdn AdveHtlJFGr UltifTiatG EUTODeanr 47-D3Vy CctmDini?*-"'"(*""5 ! vate balcony, air conditioning, plus huge like-minded students to join our Team for V J rooftop garden patio, great for relaxing or the upcoming season Full-time and part- time positions need to be filled include: for __ entertaining, .... perfect students. 5399. Call r| SB#®. or visit www.acdev.ca for a a s peop B Email Or 741-7724 more ' fly at special discounted rates when you buy • ,„,o andpicures. relumeTto Marta at other $$BSsg: «| selected Contiki tours departing Canada by May 23/06 ~ COntlkl One Roommate Wanted ask your Travel CUTS consultant for more details. Anyone: available May 1/06, 5381.65+ utili- per tenant per month lease. ties month, 12 NFFD rnMPiiTFR<-wiv.ru en a Large deck, bbq, dishwasher, outside u.-i-..

maintenance done for you. House with 3 ' Waterloo Networks is the student-voted #1 Mm I] jlTl 'fj il eI 8tjfilllf ia'li tll jjflfTTMltVTfc?' -re students currently in it. Call 725- UhTI source for computer sales, service, & net- \ ° B|l| J 112 S §§j 00| |1 LHj i-er-Hl mII fl ifS STB 011iS11B!IISIkIIII H I I Ik B W II H|fj 11 IHI working. Don't get hosed by the others - see 1 11 111 us first. Across from the AC. 747-5979 www.waterloonetworks.com 11 Menno btreet Appticabie tours must be booked and paid in fu!l between jari.o2-March 31/06, Space is limited, _ and may sett this dat» surcharges _ out before Weekend taxes, and other govemment/ai,line/service fees not included. Valid tnternationai & Sept. 1/06 August 30/07. Student Identity Card OStO required. Terms conditions apply? Lease to Licensed Proofreading & Editing" ' group rental fors people, spacious 5 bed- Travel CUTS is owned -ind operated by the CanadianFederation of Students. TICO #1324998 room two complete bathrooms, ensuite ( i_ e us help you with your written assign- —————— facilities free laundry free parking. 15 ments. We provide exceptional proofread- minute walk to University For appointment ing services at reasonable rates. (519) 589- M IfftWESIV .ffffl 'J 1. B_, ,1 call June or Don Smith, 416-491-1370, cell- ETESI MilIB WBIWKv/!nMûi ~I\ti J MP [email protected]. ~ ' 8 1%￿4\113\ Bl r E phone 416-705-5648, email '■ I 8 ■ I a lt§ ~~ JKf [email protected]. Rent $355/person, utilities extra. 10-10-940 Discount Long Distance Service

Wanted: 2 Roommates Dial 10-10-940 before your long distance

.. . .., __ ... call. No contracts or signup. Calls appear To live with 3 cool girls in an awesom local Bell bill. 3.9 on cents/minute Canada, ___ _ house. Its HUGE, 5 minutes from WLU and 4 9 cents/minute USA. www.lolo94o.com ®'air Deanna, or Cody at 746- fgr international rates. 51*8 7 '

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Pregna " t? 23 High Street off Hazel ['"V:; / |\ Free preanancv tests, accurate information /"""*" lTlf"' ' \ May to April Lease 1/06 30/07. licensed 0 n all your options, ongoing confidential j I group rental for 3 people, newly renovated, support. We can help Call us K-W 1 -'"ml free ensuite w/d, private entrance, 3 large Pregnancy Resource Centre ' : bedrooms, porch, backyard, close to shop- 886-4001. I ' *§#; I IWS t '"m m ft Wm W| I ping, 15 minutes from University. For j 1 %!}!■] ;-jj '§ 9g , §H I ®jj appointment call June or Don Smith, 416- »WB§ j ■ Jm I W JHKI 491-1370, cellphone 416-705-5648, email _ [ 1 "tMfl 112 m ' IV. Roses for Valentine's m *112 [email protected]. $425 utilities includ- Day 1 * § 1 I 1 1

" ' $2.50 each. $14 for 6. $25 for a dozen. | - 188 ittk JBt £jJI 1 w- ~ Mji M -

at :•/ . Preorder 6+roses Concourse OR email | . Excellent Summer Sublease [email protected]. All proceeds go to Breast Cancer Foundation! Share the love. V 'itifijfii;. Cheap, new, luxurious, all inclusive, next to *, jT school. April to August, very flexible on rent. WTT IlTtl 'ir 112 \ Phone Natasha at: 342-3131 or email I4iii.ll.v- ! [email protected]. Dave - I'm sorry you didn't win. I'm glad you \ think I'm awesome. San Francisco - I'm i I -- "

- • , I'm Stars I'm . ,., coming, coming! hope. sad Newun Four Bedroom u I 111 Hous.ng that your concert is sold out. If anyone has extra to buy tickets, I'd love them. - Starting May 1, 2006, excellent location,

< na With three ssn«rs2?' sssjsr l sa «3" fantastic parties going on i gas water heater, cheap utilities, free park- I __ _ mmmm m ing, open concept kitchen, dining room and Ron Johnson al, * * et OVCIfV Til©S€*3V- TllUirS€S2lV ******2LXICZ SatlXVClaV i < You're my everything. But seriously, thanks y ■»«*****"**<*y rnnHitinconditioningnhnn^ plus hugehi rooftop garden for using The Cord as the educational tool it '' *|» v JiiilHililSiiitei-.warlK-wFMjjit;aajjiftfm;:gyjj Nights, FUBAR Nightclub as proud to ; per room, per month, preference to a group , t tooether one dav or nossi- present a new one. u S pi ' for one of the best production nights of my ::: tenure, it's still in the pm and I'm writing : . «»* » »- shout-outs after multi-week „_ _W» I H VII J 112 111 3l I a hiatus, and -«- ■»*-«-Jri M r * ■ S also to Ananthan for reappearing to do CVSrV FflCl3y NlflHt, 3fICS Ctllb ] OISQCdCC MC Kid bflflCl"* VOU** Adventure! Teach English Overseas. some serious infographic work, we miss D 3 you down here. Thanks are also in order to [ .1 TESOL Certified 5 days In-class, Online or Dan Hocking and Kiran Sandhu for helping ' '^ ~ ~ by Correspondence. Overseas Job us t0 cover e election, you were class -- 3 Guaranteed acts. Congrats to all the Union people that ft IP> » Ipt ■ apt k § « won last week, now we can all start feeling a, Wk 0k <1 » t I# B. Btn 1 FREE Info Pack: like lame ducks - I'm hiring my replacement , Mfl| W V If V - PIIIfiBW Pff 1-888-270-2941 orwww.globaltesol.com weekend. Good night and good luck. | Villi DiW'W llHlfVll 9 I T V

o.iigi.ttuii, oeicnous student Grot„te, Support This party is restricted to our 21 + party crowd. Casual dress code in effect. No SpinT™ ballcaps, jerseys or excessively baasy clothing. j ers for the months of May to September entertained through back-to-back all working 37.5 hours per week. You would nighters. The essay may have sucked, but e s' s wa correct. To ,1 be required to maintain the aesthetics of rf ? 'Pfuitive Joe for straight pimpin with tnfec- , a content . the Village grounds while ensuring the mmmmm m m • mmm mm safety and well-being of Village residents ta. | know you lost a lot of bar it won t ■■■■ • Wm • M 0% + m 81/B2 for 0 1 and staff. This position pays $10.99 per happen again. promise. upcom- ■ MM I lF|f|#llf 112 l ing drunk times.I dorrt work Thursdays ■ T* hour. Please submit resume to: Human I A Aftfta9 A m V M ■ 1 v Reesources, Lutherwood. 139 Father anymore! Spur. rox. Enough said. No . ——* — J Bauer Drive, Waterloo, ON N2L 6LI. thanks to WLU for votln 9 ignorance. One 112 David u ■ Fax:sl9-884-9071 or Email: hr@luther- helluva beleagured and sleep-deprived wood.ca by February 24, 2006 Sports Editor, Brown Love is atTheHCB! A

photocopying Valentine's Day only! j(S|

{information & copy centrej ,

lUrtg ° MOiih'rfte Isii |The Cord 24* WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 Weeki\l

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—————— Spr Wa i k-i n Bay Window l -^— M M ——r—— L Dcsk Tj 9 irh? h — rgTl FR-n q I PfFTFI 9.2 Ft ￿ Hr> | £Lj] I "» L.\% n 2.11-1-1 Chair 112 s % % 1...T..1J ~ % §. rn — r— ' BKD BED JL___ Q { BED BED Ft | 'j |

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Kitchen table and 4 chairs. - Blinds supplied for all windows. Bed (No Mattress), desk and chair, closet organizer in bedroom.

- Surveillance system in common areas The CordWeekly & Arts Entertainment WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 ￿ 25 Balls of emotion Top-rock savants' OK Go talk to Adrian Ma about the joy of being rockstars

ADRIAN MA our first record and some come reaction has been "spectacular." News Editor out because of the Internet dance They've been promoting their video," says Norwind. latest LP, Oh No, their second OK Go are the band people know Norwind and his bandmates are release on Capitol Records. Their as the young, fashionable pop- fully aware of the perils of being a last Canadian date is at the rock savants who dance around in rock band with a gimmick, which Starlight lounge in Waterloo on their backyard with a syncronized is why putting out more music is February 8, playing with death fury that would make the essential to OK Go. disco rockers controller.controller. Backstreet Boys slink back to "As long as more music is com- Following this Canadian jaunt, retirement. ing out, we can outlive that shtick OK Go will head back to the US

Their video for "A Million Ways" ... because to us it seems like such and then to England. features some of the most fabu- a small part of what we do." "You all sort of share a great ball lously ridiculous dance moves Damien Kulash, OK Go's lead of emotion [with your fans] and since Spike Jonze and his band of vocalist, feels there is no reason then you move onto the next city," sweatband-sporting misfits stole why intelligently-written music says Kulash about playing live. our hearts in Fatboy Slims "Praise can't also be frivolous and fun. For the most part, attracting new You" video. It's become a massive "We don't really believe in that fans hasn't been much of a problem hit online, reaching over one mil- sort of divide," says Kulash. "We for the band. Their frenetic video lion hits on their website, and has have a lot of fun onstage, with our has made them a curiousity for been covered in Entertainment clothes and with our music in gen- people, and a reason to show up at Weekly. eral." their gigs. Which is great to Kulash, Only OK Go admit that it was all Critics of OK Go have often gone because he feels that Capitol an accident. after the band for putting more Records has put very little effort "That video was really a mis- attention into making sure their into helping them push Oh No. take," laughs bassist Tim Norwind. pinstripe suit jackets are wrinkle- But for this reason, Kulash "It was never meant to be a video free than writing original music - understands that OK Go has to

... I wish we were smart enough to call it the old "style over sub- deliver the goods musically if they actually conceive of the idea." stance" attack. But Kulash seems expect those fans to remain once Norwind says that the Chicago- to care little about such a claim. the novelty of "A Million Ways" has bred band had a tradition of danc- "Substance in rock 'n roll is long faded. Substance may be ing onstage at their live shows. style. The Beatles and Britney style, but that amounts to nothing

They wanted to try something Spears use the same chord pro- if there's no passion in the music - new, so they rehearsed a routine gressions, but you don't compare and Kulash is nothing if not enthu- and then shot it on a camcorder to them." siastic about rock 'n roll. see what it looked like. The result OK Go have brought their "I love it... no amount of words a in Contributed Photo has been noticeable boom immacuately groomed pop prod- can give you what ten seconds of a their audience numbers since. uct to Canadian audiences this beat can give Kulash - you," GLAM-ARCHY IN THE USA Damien Kulash, lead vocalist for OK Go. "I think some come because of past week and Kulash says the explained. Linkin Park build a new Fort

Contributed Photo % p T' fj s^l mWm?** l JAY even some GUITARD Phonte and Pooh had , Big the Styles of Beyond mate- . -o; MWMBMMBBBBKfifa^r I '- WS[_ -5- i|fi?- |v~Br jfti ~o§Bk \ Cord A&E crowd singing or waving their rial were fair game. To add to the m 0 ■ ■ ' -; arms throughout their entire set. variety, singer Holly Brook was »—BB I I * For the a xm ( uninitiated, Fort Minor is Although Little Brother's soul- along for the ride to perform her r r J side-project of one Mike Shinoda, influenced sound :* -r'e generally chorus for"Where'd You Go". "^g^^|g,"r; Wj^^Te^l^' emcee of Linkin Park, a group appeals to the aficionado among With a live band consisting of a which should need no introduc- the typically fickle hip hop fan, small string section, three back- tion. The project sees Shinoda this relatively mainstream crowd ground singers, a live drummer joined by Styles of Beyond to make was still receptive to their ener- and a DJ, the Fort Minor concert

' a proper group. getic performance. experience is one that's easy to I ' After the unremarkable opener It may seem a leap to assume recommend to even the most (local emcee/producer 4th the 'mainstream' tendencies of the casual hip hop fan. Pyramid), the crowd at the audience, but as Fort Minor took Phoenix in Toronto was treated to the stage it was clear some Linkin a pleasant surprise as the Park fans were in the house (a Demigodz took the stage. quick question on Shinoda's part The world is waiting for you. Though not on the bill, one certainly answered this). could call this loose collective part After the album opener of the extended Fort Minor family: "Remember the Name" intro- What are you waiting for?

.... they share a live DJ in Cheapsbot duced each member, a pretty good . and emcee Celph Titled appears rendition of Shinoda's first solo Take a Gap Year Abroad! Experience the world. on Fort Minor's The Tied. performance followed in Rising rapping Travel CUTS has been offering independent travel Emcee Apathy rounded the "It's Coin' Down", a track that was H j|9|. out ' and aver --- lineup for the evening. Although initially on the 2002 X-ecutioner options specialized programs-for 35 years. the samples they used (The White album Built From Scratch. Stripes' "Seven Nation Army" for After this quick two-track • work in a cafe in Australia S -* one) helped the unexposed catch combo, Shinoda acknowledged - volunteer to build a school in on to their sound, the highlight of his devoted following, remaining ■ teach English in Thailand W their short set was a powerful a on stage alone to drop his verses cappella verse Apathy dropped from the reanimated rendition of considering the perspective of a Linkin Park's "In the End". dollar bill. Although it was at the expense

If the Demigodz gave the show a of some key album tracks getting .. .<■ -....-. m. www.tfavelcuts.com kick-start, then North Carolina- overlooked, this mixed-bag style based trio Little Brother built 011 of set list kept up for the rest of the I2THAVELCUIS www.volunteerabroad.ca I the momentum. Their perform- night: tracks from the album, the ance was fueled by constant audi- Green Lantern - produced promo- ence participation: emcees tional mixtape {We Major) and & |The Cord Weekly 26￿ WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8. 2006 Arts Entertainment

Sex or love - choose

Contributed Photo only knows how to communicate ings. Contributed Photo through sex. As the film opens, The film, obviously, is explicitly OH, THE IRONY - Maybe if Billy Corgan paid more attention to metaphori- Leila masturbates before a night sexual, probably more so than cal road he'd a clue. signs, get out dancing; it's like she's fulfilling anything you'll see on CityTV late a need, the way some people 'pre- at night. In this way, Lie With Me drink' before going out to a bar. reminds me of two films that I've She hooks up with a random recently watched: Vincent Gallo's guy and has sex with him on the The Brown Bunny and David sidewalk outside the club while Cronenberg's Crash. All three films Smash the another guy, David (Eric Balfour), push the boundaries of what's DRU JEFFRIES watches her while having sex with "acceptable" in mainstream cine- Film Critic his girlfriend in a car. ma, but all of them do so with And that's only in the first ten restraint. There's nothing on "You have to wait until you're minutes or so. screen that exceeds the perversion uncovered. You have to wait with David pursues Leila, quite liter- (if we can call it that) of the char- Pumpkins someone naked. And then you ally, and they have sex before acters themselves, and the sex is have to wait some more." either of them knows the other's not necessarily meant to stimulate So ends Lie With Me, Jamaican- name. Afterwards, they hold each the viewer: Lie With Me will just as Six years since splitting, Billy Corgan is trying to bring Canadian director's Clement Virgo's other with almost violent intensi- soon show you an old man's penis enigmatic fourth feature film. I ty, as if they have both been violat- (and it does) as it will Smiths or don't feel bad revealing these final ed. Perhaps they have been. Balfour's young, attractive bodies. the Smashing Pumpkins back together. But why? words, because it doesn't spoil any- The experience, for Leila, is The film presents a dichotomy thing. There's no resolution proper, epiphanic: "I always thought that that remains true, I think, for its and in fact, the ending just brings men's hearts were in their cocks," duration: that sex and love are Harvey, fans couldn't justify pay- up more questions. Uncovered she says in voiceover, but David mutually exclusive. You can have ing the steep ticket prices. how? And waiting for what? proves to her, in a way beyond our one or the other, but never both. Although finances had a hand in Lie With Me focuses on Leila understanding, that he can offer But having just one of them is canceling the tour, it's seems just (Lauren Lee Smith), an obsessively her something real. never enough. Lie With Me played DAVE AICCI as probable that a lack of interest sexual young woman whose sexu- Lie With Me, as the title suggests, last weekend at the original CordA&E from the public played a greater al needs have eclipsed her emo- is the story of their togetherness. Princess Cinema and is released role. Has the alternative scene tional maturity. She doesn't know But it's important to think about on DVD, strangely enough, on When bands that had an impact been strangled by the scarves of how relationships work and she how that title can have two mean- Valentine's Day. disband, their legend is all their indie music and the gold chains of fans have. hip hop? Is it even relevant in In a way, that isn't really that today's music scene? bad. What is bad is when bands If anyone is going to prove this reunite and try to recapture their it's going to be the revived fame and glory. Olympic Hockey past Smashing Pumpkins. As one ofthe at Remember The Smashing elite musical acts of the 90s, the Pumpkins? Of course you do! Pumpkins released classic albums bar Alongside 90s acts like Nirvana such as Gish, Siamese Dream, and and Pearl Jam, Billy Corgan and co. Mellon Collie and The Infinite Mc&rnms Frontrow assess were an artistic and financial suc- Sadness. cess. I personally hold these albums h After releasing a mediocre final to be some of the high points of i rn>n (SJ ito) studio album titled Machina: the 90s music scene. This leads me LI Ullda : ..:' RJ£> ...... v...,.; Machines Of God, The Pumpkins to wonder: why does Corgan feel disbanded amidst hurt feelings the desire to drag the dead corpse and bruised egos. Corgan would of a great band back to life? Well, go on to front the short-lived band his failure with Zwan and his pre- Zwan and release a peculiarly tentious solo career could have interesting solo album entitled played a role in his decision. Thefutureembrace. After all, even egocentric musi- Recently, Corgan took out an ad cians need food, er, money. in a local Chicago newspaper pro- Personally, I think it all has to do claiming his desire to renew and with the almighty buck. 'Cause revive his band. He wrote, "I want really, how good will the Pumpkins my band back, and my songs, and be if they are revived? Sure, it WIN A TEAM CANADA JERSEY! my dreams." would be great to hear some of the And it seems as though Corgan's classics, but who really wants to dreams are slowly coming true. On hear a mediocre reflection of what February 2, Blabbermouth.net was? reported that the band's manage- Instead of further bastardizing ••»:• ment rights were purchased and his public image, Corgan should / Working in the USA is easier than that one-time bassist Melissa Auf keep his remaining credibility you think. Der Maur had joined the fold intact and accept that his time has alongside Corgan and drummer passed. Let's face it, there's noth- Jimmy Chamberlin. ing more awkward then seeing job, SWAP USA'' can turn your summer into an experience Together, Corgan and washed-up musicians grip the Chamberlin have begun writing remnants of their glory days. music for a tentative reunion disc. Velvet Revolver, I'm looking in WHY SWAP? ***""" There has been no word yet if your direction. * Enhance your resume with foreign work experience

James Iha, whom Corgan has I'll admit it, deep down I'm sort ■ Flexible 4-month J-1 visa - you choose when It begins! blamed for the bands demise, will of interested to see if the Smashing « Secure travel; toll-free assistance and emergency support join his former bandmates. Pumpkins will reunite. * Online jobs To add more fuel to the fire, the If the mixture of musicianship %* cWmksSih ■ Have a great time and make new friends revived line up is rumoured to be and timing is right they might be to the headlining act for this year's able reestablish themselves in SWAP IS AVAILABLE EXCLUSIVELY FROM edition of the struggling the music world. Lollapalooza festival. Nah. I'd rather just listen to I*,' TRAVEL CUTS University Shops *• 7 r *112f*, VOYAGES CAMPUS In 2004 the tour was cancelled Siamese Dream and wait for them 170 University Avenue West due to poor ticket sales. Even with to crash and burn a nightmarish SWAP in Working Holidays 886-0400 a stellar lineup boasting acts such blaze. i as Broken Social Scene and PJ Visit www.swap.ca for your SWAP USA registration pack. * To you muit Lh? a full *n;e i-iuctent rpiJumxyj *o foilhow* >n the fell The Cord Wi-kkly & Arts Entertainment WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2006 27 Music Explosion: third time's the charm

JOE TURCOTTE rus that encouraged the crowd to The Steady Rollers' solid set left Cord A&E come together and clap along in their competitors with a tough act sync. Though the band displayed to follow. Usually when 1 attend a battle of solid command over their songs, Luckily, Cellar Door was more the bands, I find myself drinking they seemed to lose the audience's than up to the task. Lead by the until I'm lost in a state of stupid attention by playing too many driving guitars of Matt Baggley oblivion. I feel this tactic makes laid-back songs. and the commanding drums of the pretentious preening of the Drummer Stephane Coutu Geoff Padmore, Cellar Door kicked emo-ish bands just a little more seemed to try and regain the audi- off a power-punk set that brought bearable. ence's attention, as he ended the the crowd to its feet. However, seeing how this was band's finale ("I Can't Songs like "Another Day in official Cord business, I decided to Understand") with a powerful Service" and Blink- 182's "Anthem" take another approach — and pay drum solo, which brought life had enough energy to power that attention more to the bands than back to the distant crowd. drum-wielding Pink Bunny ad to the brew. As Supermarine shuffled off nausewn. Whereas this year's past two stage, the Steady Rollers sauntered Unfortunately, during songs like Explosions have generally suffered forward, looking to take over. The Unwritten Law's "Harmonic" Cellar from poor attendance and/or group can be epitomized as a Door seemed ready to slip into for- mediocre talent, the third install- blues-funk band, infused with a mulaic pop-punk territory. ment of this annual tradition classic rock twist. Lead singer Although the crowd didn't seem to proved fruitful for those who Mike Appleton (just 'Mike' to mind this (which could be chalked trekked over to Wilf's. those in attendance) demonstrat- up to drunken hubris), it was the The last of the semi-final install- ed strong control over the band's band's finale "Scarecrow" that ments of RadioLaurier's crown signature blues-laden classic rock. elicited the greatest reaction from jewel saw three diverse musical Songs like "Sunday Afternoon" the crowd. This song served as a call acts duke it out for the affection of and"The Subway" turned Wilf's' to arms for the band, as they left the the crowd and a berth in this year's clocks back to the era when many stage to a loud and raucous cheer. finals. of our parents were still proud to Fortunately, unlike the WLUSU Leading off the night was be steady rollin'. While Appleton's elections the Explosion didn't Supermarine. This quartet resem- vocals fit beautifully within the degenerate into a popularity con- bled an early pop-rock version of band's blues-rock framework, it test. Rather, RadioLaurier's judges The Beatles, without the necessary was the steady bass of Danilo ensured that the strongest band charm or uncanny talent. While Teodoro-Brito and the stunning ended up securing a spot in March the band was thoroughly engaging guitar solos of Robert Seixas that 2's finals, as it was the Steady and demonstrated burgeoning stole the show. Rollers who ascended the stage for skill, their type of music is the kind The Rollers ended their set with their victory-lap of an encore. of'rock' that you can blast without a song that leaned in the direction Considering it will be the Rollers any fear of pissing offyour parents. of Led Zeppelin, as "Hijacking squaring off against the reggae- Rather prophetically, Your Love" commandeered the infused rock of Sure Shot and the Supermarine started off with collective attention of the Wilf's pop-rock sensibilities of Intransit, "Come on Home". This soft power faithful with Seixas' explosive gui- this year's finals should be a Jordan Jocius ballad featured a sing-a-long cho- tar riffs. diverse and spectacular affair. GET THE CLAP - Supermarine's Scott Mitchell shows his musical enthusiasm.

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