A.M.A. with Dr. David Ley

A.M.A. WITH DR. DAVID LEY

I would like to express my thanks to Dr. David Ley for taking the time out of his life to do this AMA with Cuckold Chat. We all had a great time getting to pick his brain and hear someone as knowledgeable as him speak on many topics pertaining to alternative romantic relationship arrangements.

What follows is the transcript of a special one hour AMA (Ask Me Anything) event held on Monday, August 19th, 2019 with him in The Conversation Club Room of Cuckold Chat. Enjoy!

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 16:30:07 DrDavidLey I’m happy to be here. Thanks to the site for having me, and offering this resource to its members. Just an initial clarification - any comments or advice i may give is NOT clinical or medical advice, but is commensurate with what you might get on any advice column or radio show. I do provide clinical support to cuckolds and cuckold couples, but that’s not what we are doing today. Just some brie up front intro - in 2007 or so, I met some cuckold couples, and decided to write a book about them, after I discovered that there was nothing in the clinical or sexuality literature about this lifesty

2019-08-19 16:30:23 Mywifefuckher Hi

2019-08-19 16:30:25 DonPull hello all

2019-08-19 16:30:33 32M Hi

2019-08-19 16:30:46 Jacko Hello

2019-08-19 16:30:48 oldguyfl @Mywifefuckher @DonPull @32M Welcome

2019-08-19 16:30:50 DrDavidLey I discussed the ways in which my field, psychology and therapy, easily pathologizes this sexual life, based on ignorance and sexual stigma. I also explored why this approach is becoming more popular or public these days. So - I’m happy to entertain questions...

2019-08-19 16:30:50 Mywifefuckher Question: i want to see My wife as a hooker whore?

2019-08-19 16:31:09 Dr36 Ladies & Gents, please join me in welcoming @DrDavidLey for taking time out of his busy life for doing this AMA with us. @DrDavidLey the floor is yours and the audience’s!

2019-08-19 16:31:12 Mr Roper It’s a pleasure to meet you, @DrDavidLey .

2019-08-19 16:31:19 Philsnice Hello Dr

2019-08-19 16:31:24 Mrshere4fun Hello

2019-08-19 16:31:26 njcuckold thank you for being here

2019-08-19 16:31:33 UKPornman Hi Doc!

2019-08-19 16:31:37 NWCuriousCouple @DrDavidLey thank you I have a question when ready.

2019-08-19 16:31:40 Wannabecuck69 @DrDavidLey thank you for taking the time to join this part of the internet tonight

2019-08-19 16:31:43 Jacko How it comes about cuckolding?

2019-08-19 16:32:00 DrDavidLey thanks. i’m interested in why you all think this lifestyle is more popular these days

2019-08-19 16:32:03 MyChristianWifeAss @DrDavidLey welcome dr

2019-08-19 16:32:09 Advice2380 @DrDavidLey i get mixed feelings from my wife about it. I drop subject then she seems to hint at it. Do tell hef more if what I want?

2019-08-19 16:32:10 Whitecpl4bbc @DrDavidLey porn

2019-08-19 16:32:15 DrDavidLey nwcurious go -

2019-08-19 16:32:25 njcuckold @DrDavidLey do you find cuckolds are predominately small cocksed, or at least perceiving themsevles as small cocked?

2019-08-19 16:32:29 Unclebull DR. Ley is new here, can we please ask less and hear more. PLEASE

2019-08-19 16:32:36 32M Dr. David, My wife has developed feelings for her lover. What is the best way to handle this?

2019-08-19 16:32:40 txgooner compared to previous decades

2019-08-19 16:32:57 MyChristianWifeAss @Unclebull how... every bbody wants ask

2019-08-19 16:33:14 Unclebull at list try.

2019-08-19 16:33:19 davidx @32M well what a surprise!

2019-08-19 16:33:23 DrDavidLey no evidence that cuckolds are actually small in penis size. in fact, i’ve seen many very large men who loved small penis humiliation. it’s about the psychological escape

2019-08-19 16:33:40 AraAra @DrDavidLey Welcome, a serious question: has a typical male with cuckold fantasies been profiled and researched already or is this phenomenon too “new” to have any substantial data behind it?

2019-08-19 16:33:41 NWCuriousCouple @DrDavidLey I am a married male of 40 who has been married 20 years. I brought up the idea of sharing my wife 3 years ago. She thought I was NUTS. we not talk about it and roleplay. But i cant tell if she is pleasing me or really wants this herself. How do i spot the signs and help guide her instead of having her do it to please me. If that makes sense

2019-08-19 16:33:51 Wannabecuck69 @DrDavidLey is the lifestyle actually more popular these days? Or has the internet made it easier for people like us to communicate and share ideas?

2019-08-19 16:33:55 DrDavidLey feelings fo lover? it’s time to talk poly, talk relationship goals

2019-08-19 16:34:09 myhotasianwife Do you think the rise of female empowerment (post womens libeation) has played a role in the rise of cuckoldry?

2019-08-19 16:34:22 32M @DrDavidLey Well I think that is the way to go then. I do not want to loose her

2019-08-19 16:34:58 Txhusband @DrDavidLey

2019-08-19 16:35:18 DrDavidLey nwcurious - not uncommon. most women get into this for their men, and not necessarily for themselves. i’ encourage you o sit don with her and ask her what an experience/fantasy would look like - for her, not you. encourage her to remove thoughts of your happiness from her fantasy.

2019-08-19 16:35:30 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey I think you need a full time forum here just to catch up the last few minutes lol

2019-08-19 16:36:17 Philsnice Makes sense Dr

2019-08-19 16:36:19 Whitecpl4bbc @DrDavidLey what is the correlation between risky sexual behavior and increased arousal?

2019-08-19 16:36:22 Dr36 @Mr Roper We’re at 655 total online members at the moment too

2019-08-19 16:36:26 DrDavidLey mycristian... religious conflict is a huge issue. i do some former mormon wives who are very into the lifestyle. but, it’s reall important to help address and resolve shame, before oursuing

2019-08-19 16:37:33 JapaneseWifeAsahi @DrDavidLey although some men are cuckolds others just like to show their wives off ..in erotic or sexual poses...and their wife agrees to it. However friends seem to think your strange...wonder why?

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 16:37:34 DrDavidLey risky sex - enhhh. it varies. there’s an underlying trait called sexual sensation seeking, which is heavily tied to sensation seeking in general - adrenaline junkie behavior. sex, taboo, fetish is often just an expression of that trait.

2019-08-19 16:37:39 CuckoldDAD34 yes shames in the lifestyle and for us personally seems to be abig part of it

2019-08-19 16:37:41 NWCuriousCouple @DrDavidLey Is fantasy of this lifestyle with your wife healthy for me? Or is it a addiction? unhealthy?

2019-08-19 16:37:45 Bud my wife still has her ex husbands name tattooed across the top of her pussy

2019-08-19 16:38:29 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey Have you done any work on “sexual surge” in perimenopause -- my wife had a ton of partners before we met -- ran reallly cold for 6- 7 years and now is completely insatiable at 50 -- is this hypersexual surge a part of the story of cuckoldry?

2019-08-19 16:38:52 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey but in your research, did you find a high number of “adrenaline junkies” in the life?

2019-08-19 16:39:12 marcuk @DrDavidLey my wife is spending more and more time away with her lover, was this bound to happen ?

2019-08-19 16:39:28 DrDavidLey japanese wife - historically, wives and their sexuality was treated as property, to be gaurdedjealously. society hasn’t caught up with either contraception nor feminism. yes - i do think feminism has a role here, but in complicated ways. it’s less about wives initially pursuing cuckolding, but more about men acknowledging female sexual capacity and independence.

2019-08-19 16:39:41 randk_3 @DrDavidLey My wife and I occasionally play (mostly with men). I have told her that I would like to incorporate some bi male play. She is resistant because she thinks I will “turn gay.” Can you help me frame this desire so that she isn’t threatened by it?

2019-08-19 16:40:02 Whitecpl4bbc Makes sense because we are just chasing a chemical high, be it adrenaline junkies or sexual taboos I guess

2019-08-19 16:40:38 Advice2380 @DrDavidLey how many married want aex with others would you say?

2019-08-19 16:40:49 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey thank you doctor. Confirms my suspicion!

2019-08-19 16:40:50 Wannabecuck69 @drdavidley @Mr Roper i also want to ask the same question about adrenaline junkies. I skydive in my spare time, am about to start a business in UK on the eve of brexit.....am i just risk unaware? Or one of the bold ones? I dont see myself as an alpha, but im fucking selfish at times

2019-08-19 16:40:52 DrDavidLey men don’t turn gay. if aroused by men, it’ always been there, whether we allowed ourselves to accept it. in fact, expressing and acknowledging these desires gives us better understanding and self control of them.

2019-08-19 16:41:22 Advice2380 Married women

2019-08-19 16:41:28 DrDavidLey wannabe - yeah, i’d say you are a bold one, who enjoys life on the edge. cuckolding is a form of edge

2019-08-19 16:41:37 Mr Roper @Wannabecuck69 I have always been both an adrenaline junkie, and fairly self centered

2019-08-19 16:41:44 Wannabecuck69 @DrDavidLey thank you for your answer

2019-08-19 16:41:56 JapaneseWifeAsahi @DrDavidLey another question also is about bulls. from limited knowledge from speaking to them but i wonder if a lot of so called bulls are not really bulls but seem to actually be not happy with their own sexual life or they try to degrade others because it makes them feel better...do u know why or know much about why they do

2019-08-19 16:42:11 njcuckold @DrDavidLey do you observe many cuckold couples with a breeding component to it too?

2019-08-19 16:42:21 DrDavidLey advice - aboit 89% of women acknowledge sex fantasy about men other than husband. whether they all want to do it? who knows

2019-08-19 16:42:23 Unclebull @DrDavidLey when you get the chance, i would like to know what this kink is so split among therapist. why some say its addiction, its a NO NO, and others are a bit open to it. why not have a good study for it. me second question is any idea why 90% of the cuckolds love feet and kitchen?

2019-08-19 16:42:28 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey is selfishness/self centered behavior another predominate trait by chance?

2019-08-19 16:43:09 DrDavidLey the breeding component is somewhat new. what i find amazing is that breeding is also a component in gay male cuckold fantasies. so - it’s clearly a pure fantasy element.

2019-08-19 16:43:39 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey Does a wife’s sexual history before marriage typically predict whether she will engage in a cuckold/hotwife relationship -- speciifically are hotwives more likely to have had a smaller or larger number of sexual partners or is there no correlation?

2019-08-19 16:43:45 Advice2380 Do you see cockolding becoming more accepted in next 10 years?@DrDavidLey

2019-08-19 16:43:50 luvmilfeet yea i only heard of breeding in last few years

2019-08-19 16:43:59 DrDavidLey uncle - 90% of therapists have no training on sexuality. 70% of therapists are female. they come to this with the bias in their own lives and experience.

2019-08-19 16:44:44 luvmilfeet we been in is 13 years an see how more freely its spoken of

2019-08-19 16:45:08 DrDavidLey my asian - enh. i’ve seen both extremes. i wouldn’t say history predicts, unless they hae a history of bing a swinger. it’s more about the relationship and the wfe’s level of desire for sexual excitement

2019-08-19 16:45:29 Whitecpl4bbc @DrDavidLey can cuckolding hypnosis videos actually change someone’s psyche?

2019-08-19 16:46:03 DrDavidLey uncle - there’s more attenion happening. therapists are beng forced to recognize there’s a dearth of knowledge in their training, as more people are coming to therapy with questions.

2019-08-19 16:46:23 marcuk @DrDavidLey i forgot to say her lover is black, is that comin too

2019-08-19 16:46:26 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey Do you think candaulism is a gateway to cuckoldry and has the proliferation of internet exposure led down the road from fantasy to reality?

2019-08-19 16:46:37 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey that’s good news for the next generation for sure

2019-08-19 16:46:41 Wannabecuck69 @DrDavidLey if you look back some civilisations (roman, greek Egyptians, mayans etc).. . Orgies and swinging seemed common place. Has western society and religion surpressed that ideolgy overtime? And are people naturally reverting back to that way of life as governments and religion hold less weight ?

2019-08-19 16:46:48 manstagbe hi

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 16:46:48 DrDavidLey whitecopl - hypnosis. no, if you are already a suggestible person and you want to find a way to encourage yourself over internal barriers sure, try those vids.

2019-08-19 16:47:15 dutchcuckold @DrDavidLey how come I like my wife being exposed but also feel bad about doing it?

2019-08-19 16:48:02 DrDavidLey candaulism - the cover of my book, insatiable wives, is a painting of candauls and gyges. i do think modern cell phones, internt cameras, etc play a role. it’s like the old days of hustler’s girl next door - now can you can make our wife into a porn star, easily and in a moment.

2019-08-19 16:48:28 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey you are telling me man!

2019-08-19 16:48:56 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey It was “Beaver Hunt” by the way ;)

2019-08-19 16:49:09 Unclebull @DrDavidLey any idea when is your next book coming out and what it is about?

2019-08-19 16:49:23 Funcplw @myhotasianwife I loved beaver hunt I think that is where it started for me.

2019-08-19 16:49:27 manstagbe i don’t think it’s about technology, but rather the fact the society is opening for freely to new horizons like openly gay mariage, etc

2019-08-19 16:49:34 DrDavidLey ducth - shame. explore what you were taught as a young men, bout sex, marriage, porn, exhibitionism. typcally, we are taught to control, own, protect. when we violate that, we feel bad, even as we feel excited. the bad feeling goes away, when we can decide to own ou behavior and choices reconciled with our values - i’m doing this in a consensual, hones, safe way with integrity, that kils shame

2019-08-19 16:50:13 AraAra @DrDavidLey My question may have been flooded by other inquiries, let me try again. Do you have a big enough data set to create a psychological profile of a typical cuckold male? Or do you perhaps believe these fantasies stem from a singular source - thrill seeking - and must be adressed individually?

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 16:50:21 DrDavidLey i dunno if i will write another book. my 3rd was Ethical porn for dicks, a man’s guide to responsible viewing. it’s been fun writing books, but it’s a chore..

2019-08-19 16:51:07 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey Did anyone here ask if you were personally in the lifestyle? Don’t mean to pry, but ya know just curious

2019-08-19 16:51:20 DrDavidLey ara - typical psych profile - hmm. not really. justin lehmiller, dan savage and i studied this in gay men. we found higher levels of sensation seeking, generally positive adjustment, some interest in bdsm submission.

2019-08-19 16:51:25 Unclebull @DrDavidLey i know your books made a big change to normal people as well as therapists that opened their eyes.

2019-08-19 16:51:33 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey that’s understandable, but I hate to hear it. I learned quite a lot about myself reading Insatiable Wives.

2019-08-19 16:51:58 DrDavidLey ara - what is interesting is that these men and couples were generally healthy. cuckolding interest isn’t a sign of dysfunction

2019-08-19 16:51:59 AraAra @DrDavidLey thank you

2019-08-19 16:52:02 DrDavidLey thanks roper!

2019-08-19 16:52:26 DrDavidLey i do enjoy that my books opened many people

2019-08-19 16:52:42 AraAra @DrDavidLey never would have even suggested it myself.

2019-08-19 16:52:51 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey no sir, thank you! That book was the next to last thing I needed to accept myself

2019-08-19 16:52:54 DrDavidLey s eyes to their own sexuality. i LOVE the cuckold couples who write me and send me stories of hot sex they had, thanks to my book

2019-08-19 16:53:26 Unclebull @Hambone57 took you that long to figure this out?

2019-08-19 16:53:34 learningcuck lol

2019-08-19 16:53:35 Mr Roper @Hambone57 normal is just a setting on the dryer

2019-08-19 16:53:35 Wannabecuck69 @DrDavidLey ama...... what do you do to unwind?

2019-08-19 16:53:51 myhotasianwife Anyone watch a movie called “AM I normal” in middle/high school -- indoctrinated me that being horny is ok

2019-08-19 16:53:58 AraAra @DrDavidLey must be nice receiving all these stories that could be an easy book to write - a collection of stories (approved by their distinctive owners ofc)

2019-08-19 16:54:14 DrDavidLey in terms of popularity of cuckolding - one nique thing i think is in play is the greater rise of step parenting and multiple marriages. when we are already raising children of other men, cuckoling has kess fear. thoughts?

2019-08-19 16:54:36 Rebekahs hubby Hi everyone

2019-08-19 16:54:47 Unclebull well, i have a comment about your book, but you wont like that comment.

2019-08-19 16:54:59 DrDavidLey ara - i have a nblogpost on psych today, called “why woud you do that, watch your wife with other men?” the comment section is filled with hot stories.

2019-08-19 16:54:59 Advice2380 @DrDavidLey i agree step parents are a big thing now of days i think thats kind of what got me in it raising others kids

2019-08-19 16:55:03 Hambone57 Does submissiveness play a role

2019-08-19 16:55:09 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey Yeah, raising another guy’s kids -- very interesting thought -- dated a girl whose dad did that and he came off like a bit of a pussy boi

2019-08-19 16:55:12 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey that’s a very interesting theory/and I can see some merit for both men and wonen

2019-08-19 16:55:43 AraAra I think it would also be more popular in couples in which either the wife or both had had multiple partners

2019-08-19 16:55:48 oldguyfl @DrDavidLey I would think that the fear of being caught and perhaps losing custody would be very important.

2019-08-19 16:55:51 Unclebull @DrDavidLey dont take it in the wrong way, but had this book was written with a simple english, i think it owuld be best seller.

2019-08-19 16:55:55 Paintingprettyface @DrDavidLey So if I understand your question, beign a step parentmight (is) a ‘gateway’ to cuckholdery

2019-08-19 16:56:08 DrDavidLey what do i do to unwind? bourbon is nice. i’m headed to burning man next week for a week off. very excited.

2019-08-19 16:56:21 Dr36 @DrDavidLey I wonder if there’s a way to establish some kind of relationship between step-parenting/multiple-marriages and the desires cuckolds and stags have

2019-08-19 16:56:32 rainbow society needs to change the way we look at swing/cuckold

2019-08-19 16:56:47 Unclebull @DrDavidLey is this your first time going to burning man?

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 16:56:54 randk_3 @DrDavidLey If cuckold couples have a regular situation with someone (or more than one), how should they handle it within the family? Should children be kept unaware?

2019-08-19 16:56:55 Mr Roper @Dr36 the serial monogamy theory for one.....

2019-08-19 16:56:55 DrDavidLey uncle - i HAD to write it n more clinical speak, to be taken seriously. first book - had to build credibility. and treat it as serious topic, not salaciousness.

2019-08-19 16:57:10 DrDavidLey my 3rd or 4th time at bur

2019-08-19 16:57:13 DrDavidLey ning man

2019-08-19 16:57:43 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey from your experiences do you see a lot of overlap between cuck fantasies and pegging fantasies?

2019-08-19 16:57:46 Unclebull ah, how nice. maybe we should go and get to meet my goddess

2019-08-19 16:57:55 Cwiz @DrDavidLey 78 i consider myself straight and i have a wife but sometimes when i get really horny i fantasize about sucking a big hard penis with her or eating the mans creampie out of her....does this make me bi....i would never date a man i love woman but im intrigued by huge penises

2019-08-19 16:57:59 AraAra thank you for an insightful view into the cuckold psyche, I’m afraid I need to turn in for the night. I hope everyone here has a pleasant morning/evening or whatever time of day it is wherever you are

2019-08-19 16:58:14 rainbow @Cwiz just normal

2019-08-19 16:58:18 DrDavidLey children - typically, i recommend that children not be aware of couple sex that is outside the norm. special friendships, sure. but ,these issues are hard for children to undestand and keep healthy boundaries around. don’t make your kids part of your fetish

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 16:58:30 Wannabecuck69 @DrDavidLey speaking as a married man for 10 years, i cant talk about step parenting. But both me and my wife have 9 parents and step parents! We been witness to convos, fights, rows and even make up sex between them about sexual process and who was bigger/better/sexier/worst.

2019-08-19 16:59:17 DrDavidLey cwiz - yeah, i argue that cuckolding is, in big part, a way for men to experience vicaious bsexuality

2019-08-19 16:59:28 DrDavidLey by ara. nice chat

2019-08-19 17:00:27 Hambone57 Thanks for your time. It was very interesting.

2019-08-19 17:00:30 DrDavidLey healthy families involve parents with good boundaties around mental health, confict and substances. sex is dicey, mostly because of cultural shame. but, i’ve seen many cuckold couples lose custody of kids, when their kinky sex was exposed.

2019-08-19 17:00:31 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey good way of putting it -- having sex with my wife and expressing joint enthusiasm for a hung bull is a massive turnon

2019-08-19 17:00:50 Unclebull @DrDavidLey ever studdied why cuckold love feet and love to spend time in the kitchen? i am serious.

2019-08-19 17:01:10 Whitecpl4bbc @DrDavidLey what is the relationship between voyeurism and cuckolding?

2019-08-19 17:01:24 DrDavidLey what’s interesting is that husbands often get more into the size of bull penis, than the wife. in our research the more bi the husband was, the more a vicatious size queen he was

2019-08-19 17:02:10 Unclebull so if they are into BMW, it means they are BI?

2019-08-19 17:02:13 Paintingprettyface In my years, I’ve figured out men obsesses about penises, much more thanw omen

2019-08-19 17:02:25 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey I can understand that that might apply to some husbands, maybe even the majority. But I don’t think it applies to all

2019-08-19 17:02:30 DrDavidLey feet - there’s varous theories. one is about the location of the foot sensation neurologically, adjacent to sexual sensation centers. i don’t really buy it. it can be about submision, about taboo, about even just “exploring where other men don’t”

2019-08-19 17:02:54 Fantasy2Share @DrDavidLey I see a lot of focus on the husbands bi urges, but what about the husbands that aren’t looking to explore the bi aspect and just the idea of watching his wife? Is there any driving reason behind that?

2019-08-19 17:02:56 Unclebull @DrDavidLey thanks for the answer

2019-08-19 17:02:59 DrDavidLey uncle - maybe not bmw, but probably audi

2019-08-19 17:03:09 luvmilfeet yea i not looking at his sizes its more her reaction

2019-08-19 17:03:17 Advice2380 @DrDavidLey would say cockolding makes marriages last longer? In your experience

2019-08-19 17:03:26 Unclebull @DrDavidLey lol, BMW = Black Men Wanted.

2019-08-19 17:03:57 DrDavidLey fantasy - sure - in some men, it’s about admiring and loving their wife and her sexuality so much, that nothing turns them on more than the idea of her being completeky satsfied in a way the husband can’t achieve alone...

2019-08-19 17:04:15 grelith @DrDavidLey why are younger guys like me attracted to older women?

2019-08-19 17:04:19 luvmilfeet the fisrt time i sat abn watched her i didnt know ant of these terms i just knew i enjoyed her on our couch with another man

2019-08-19 17:04:40 Sarah zane Hi there

2019-08-19 17:04:44 Fantasy2Share @DrDavidLey I fall into that category of just wanting to admire my wife. But I still struggle to understand why it turns me on

2019-08-19 17:04:48 Sarah zane Can i talk

2019-08-19 17:04:49 rainbow @Sarah zane hi

2019-08-19 17:04:53 Unclebull @dr36, is this AMA will be available in script?

2019-08-19 17:04:59 DrDavidLey 2380 - enhhh. no one has looked at it. in research with polyamory, once couples get past the first year of CNM, it’s healthy. but that first year is challenging and high risk

2019-08-19 17:05:00 Wannabecuck69 @Paintingprettyface its quite simple, a man pretty much has 1.5 erogenous zones. His dick and maybe his balls and or nipples! For a women, anything can be a starter or finisher...a bite on the ear, a stroke on the knee, a spank where it shouldnt be. Unfortunately us men are one trick ponies, of course we are gonna focus on dicks

2019-08-19 17:05:04 Dr36 @Unclebull Yes

2019-08-19 17:05:09 Unclebull @Dr36 thanks

2019-08-19 17:06:31 Unclebull @DrDavidLey what made you studdy this lifestye?

2019-08-19 17:06:36 BiHappyHubby First year of cnm?

2019-08-19 17:06:42 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey My wife told me she had been with 50+ men including a “forearm sized cock” shortly after marriage -- I think that made me really

2019-08-19 17:06:47 Hambone57 And men pretending to be women, is this common.

2019-08-19 17:07:25 BiHappyHubby Consensual non monagamy- got it!!

2019-08-19 17:07:27 Sarah zane Men pretending to be woman is just so annoying

2019-08-19 17:07:39 DrDavidLey fantasy - there’s no easy answer. the quest to understand why we have one fantasy or another, is a rabbit hole. you mght find an answer that resolves your concern, but no guarantee it’s an acurate answer. we truly don’t understand why or how ANYONE ends up with any fantasy, vanilla or kinky. what i suggest is instead of why, try to focus on how can i live this fantasy, in a healthy way, that i’m proud of? can i integrate my sexual self into my life, with honor? can i be a sexual man of honor? focus n that, not the why. accept and own yourself, with sexual integrity

2019-08-19 17:07:42 Paintingprettyface Is cuckolding related to how we visualize our wives as ‘porn stars’. Example, women we love love trashing in ecstacy while you observe? Or is it more a ‘selfless’ act for the man?

2019-08-19 17:07:50 CuckGravs bloomin heck..... why this room so full ?

2019-08-19 17:08:21 grelith @DrDavidLey hmmm... thanks doc

2019-08-19 17:08:21 here4fun @DrDavidLey married and been only with my wife for 37 years. Great marraige and sex life. in our younger years i would get pissed if somebody looked at her, almost like she was property. In recent years I have realized she is an equal partner and want her to enjoy all she can. Is that change in my thought process just a matter of maturity? I also felt guilty for wanting this for her because of thoughts of society.

2019-08-19 17:08:28 DrDavidLey myhotasianwife - mae west said “men love a slut because they hope history will repeat itself..”

2019-08-19 17:08:47 txgooner @DrDavidLey LOL

2019-08-19 17:09:15 myhotasianwife Is there any evidence of cuckold type behavior among non-human primates? They are often a useful source of analogy

2019-08-19 17:09:28 Mr Roper History has been pretty repetitive at my house......

2019-08-19 17:09:29 Sarah zane Where can i find a mature woman for a girl like me ?

2019-08-19 17:09:36 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey great quote!

2019-08-19 17:09:38 DrDavidLey here4fun - good for you. yes, you matured but so did society. shifted to be more feminist and egalitarian. we all shifted together. you can resolve your guilt, by focusing on her consent and desires.

2019-08-19 17:09:42 rainbow @Mr Roper good to know

2019-08-19 17:10:11 hornyhubby28 @DrDavidLey Have had this fantasy of my wife cucking me for years, but its just one of those things I am quite certain she would never be into. Is it time to put that away and completely drop it myself at a certain point? I wouldn’t want to force her into something she didn’t enjoy

2019-08-19 17:10:20 Unclebull @here4fun he gave you the best answer anyone can. bravo

2019-08-19 17:10:32 DrDavidLey cuckolding in primates? some - in chimp troops, females pursue sex with males outside tribe, probably for the genetic diversity

2019-08-19 17:10:38 here4fun @DrDavidLey thank you

2019-08-19 17:11:23 Fun4us724 @DrDavidLey any info on y cuckold clean up is so popular?

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 17:11:40 DrDavidLey hornyhub - that’s a challenging one. if your wife isn;t into it, you can explore by fantasy or porn, if that’s enough. if it’s not enough, you have to evaluate how important it is to you, and make decisions based on that.

2019-08-19 17:11:42 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey nice -- it feels very biologically normal to me to want your wife and mother of your offspring to be sexually desired by other potential mates -- Id be surprised if that doesnt appeal to 100% of men at some level

2019-08-19 17:11:56 ShyWifeGuy @DrDavidLey How prevalent would you say cuckolding and “stag/vixen” relationships are in the U.S. ? My wife thinks it’s pretty rare, but i say its becoming more common. ..

2019-08-19 17:12:25 here4fun @ShyWifeGuy agreed

2019-08-19 17:12:36 DrDavidLey cleanup - so i wrote a piece on that, on creampie fetish, published on the honest curtesan, maggie mcneill blog. look it up. it was a fun piece to write. on e might say delicious.

2019-08-19 17:12:37 hornyhubby28 @DrDavidLey I’d say she’s the most important thing to me for sure. There’s an inherrent desire I guess to take a great thing and make it better and maybe that’s where my cuckold ideas come from.

2019-08-19 17:12:40 rainbow @ShyWifeGuy yes

2019-08-19 17:12:43 Paintingprettyface @DrDavidLey /all, is there a stereotypical couple that fails after an attem at cuckholding/swinging? I thnk we focus on the success, maybe we should focus on the commonalities of the failures...

2019-08-19 17:13:19 rainbow @Paintingprettyface most are with the husband

2019-08-19 17:13:24 DrDavidLey shywife - justin lehmiller suggests in his book, tell me what you want, that 45% of men acknowledge a cuckold fantasy. in acual behavior? no one knows, but certainly far smaller

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 17:13:39 Dr36 @DrDavidLey @Fun4us724 Here’s the piece he’s referring to: https://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2014/11/10/guest-columnist-david- ley/

2019-08-19 17:14:01 u_mike @DrDavidLey wait, you’re saying 45% of men fantasize about being a cuckold?

2019-08-19 17:14:20 Hambone57 Thanks Dr36 for inviting the Doctor here.

2019-08-19 17:14:45 DrDavidLey failures in cuckolding? i’d say same in poly - if both parties aren’t doing it for their own reasons, it’s likely to fail. one partner doin it just o satisfy the other, is a recipe for disaster. there has to be some mutual selfishness (selfishness isn’t necessarily a bad thing)

2019-08-19 17:15:11 DrDavidLey u-mike - yup. at least, 45% fantasize about their wife or gilfriend with someone else.

2019-08-19 17:15:13 sissyhusband2006 What do i so to stop crossdressing dr

2019-08-19 17:15:22 Fun4us724 @Dr36 thank u!

2019-08-19 17:15:25 DrDavidLey dr36 thanks.

2019-08-19 17:15:32 u_mike @DrDavidLey WOW, I never realized it was that high, incredible

2019-08-19 17:15:46 rainbow @DrDavidLey most times we found its the husbands that push the wife onto it, then they get jealous when she starts to enjoy it

2019-08-19 17:15:48 Paintingprettyface @DrDavidLey the win’winneeds to be there?

2019-08-19 17:16:09 sissyhusband2006 @DrDavidLey what do I do to stop crossdressing

2019-08-19 17:16:28 rainbow @Unclebull very true.

2019-08-19 17:16:29 DrDavidLey what i find personally interesting is that fear of female infidelity is also a major precipitating factor in marital homicude. so, some men are aroused b it, others are enraged. why? how to tell ifference?

2019-08-19 17:17:11 Lamper How can i convince my wife to fuck with other men? �♂️

2019-08-19 17:17:12 rainbow hard questions@DrDavidLey

2019-08-19 17:17:25 Paintingprettyface @DrDavidLey is it really a much thinner line than one would admit?

2019-08-19 17:17:30 rainbow @Lamper ask her too

2019-08-19 17:17:33 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey I would guess that thee homocidal ones are more afraid of their own desire than the wife’s infideliry

2019-08-19 17:17:39 Mr Roper Infidelity

2019-08-19 17:17:40 Hambone57 It’s a fantasy but

2019-08-19 17:17:49 DrDavidLey stopping crossdressing? it’s very difficult acually for us to stop such things. instead, focus on doing other things. incentivise and reward yourself for doing other things. focus more on other things, rater than the beavior you want to stop

2019-08-19 17:17:52 Hambone57 i tril

2019-08-19 17:17:57 Lamper ask her???

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 17:18:12 ShyWifeGuy @DrDavidLey my wife and i had a discussion about that. My jealousy of seeing her with another man is a turn on for,me. Conversely, her seeing me with a woman would make her jealous and angry

2019-08-19 17:18:34 Dr36 @DrDavidLey I wonder if those who commit marital homicide would score higher on a test designed to measure how “controlling” they are or need to be in their life and/or relationship.

2019-08-19 17:18:36 Hambone57 I love the fantasy and it’s part of our lovemaking, but I truly don’t know how far I could take it.

2019-08-19 17:18:39 sissyhusband2006 @DrDavidLey if i can’t stop how do I tell my wife with out hurting her

2019-08-19 17:19:12 Mr Roper @Dr36 I would be more interested in testing their personal insecurities

2019-08-19 17:19:28 DrDavidLey i believe the homicidal husbands likely have more fear of their own loss of masculinity, status and sense of identity. they can’t live in a world where she didn’t think they were the most important thing. probably has more to do with narcissism and unhealthy masculinity

2019-08-19 17:19:59 Cle_Eli @ShyWifeGuy same with us

2019-08-19 17:20:01 Unclebull DR Ley. what about personal questions? now that you got used to us Creeps, can i ask personal question?

2019-08-19 17:20:13 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey I agree. I have some expertise on homocide lol

2019-08-19 17:20:21 DrDavidLey sissy - i REALLY recommend finding a good, sex trained therapist. look on AASECT to find a therapist who is sex aware.

2019-08-19 17:20:32 Hambone57 @Mr Roper lol

2019-08-19 17:20:52 myhotasianwife Just jokes eh Mr Roper!

2019-08-19 17:21:10 Unclebull @DrDavidLey thanks, so in all of thise, where are you at such desire? would you ever want to be swinger, or open relationship, or cucked?

2019-08-19 17:21:24 Cubemex @DrDavidLey in regards to the 45 percent of men who fantasize about cuckolding, what do you believe the percentage of men who fantasize about swinging in general? And what about women?

2019-08-19 17:21:33 Mr Roper @Hambone57 @myhotasianwife nope, retired detective for a mid size law enforcement agency

2019-08-19 17:21:59 Unclebull @DrDavidLey sorry for my spelling, english is not my first lang.

2019-08-19 17:22:01 BigNakedDick Is there still time to comment?

2019-08-19 17:22:02 Hambone57 @Mr Roper that’s stressful

2019-08-19 17:22:12 DrDavidLey ahhhh. i don’t talk publicly about myself or my sex life. it changes dynamics and afects my credibility. i will say i’ve learned and accepted a lot about myself, and my marriage, through this investigation and work.

2019-08-19 17:22:24 Cwiz @DrDavidLey why does it turn me on sooo much for other men to see my wifes feminine holes

2019-08-19 17:22:29 Mr Roper @Hambone57 it was, but it was also interesting and challenging

2019-08-19 17:22:34 Unclebull @DrDavidLey fair answer. thanks

2019-08-19 17:23:33 Unclebull @KeithT if i had to a guess or allowed to answer your question? i would say that more women rather cheat than be a hotwife.

2019-08-19 17:23:54 AnnieOOslut hello

2019-08-19 17:24:00 BigNakedDick Why do I love the idea of other men enjoying my wife?

2019-08-19 17:24:06 KeithT Ok let’s have both percentages!!

2019-08-19 17:24:34 DrDavidLey cubemex - swinging and or swapping or group sex with other peope is one of the most common sex fantasies, for men and women. we really don’t know much at all about women’ interest in cckolding or wht they get out of t. i’d love to research that actually. learn more about women’s experiences in this. i recommend a ew ooks - nncy friday’s, men in love, forbidden flowers, my secret garden explore male and female fantasies, including about infidelity, permissive and oherwse.

2019-08-19 17:24:35 GardenWife90 @Unclebull id rather my husband Get fully on board for mutual benefits than cheat outright

2019-08-19 17:24:38 Cubemex @Unclebull you might be right but morally it doesn’t make sense to prefer cheating

2019-08-19 17:25:18 daddydadom @DrDavidLey why is i love dominating other men’s wives yet im really a chill relaxed dude most other times?

2019-08-19 17:25:19 Dr36 I can certainly second the My Secret Garden recommendation. Fantastic book @DrDavidLey

2019-08-19 17:25:41 northerUT_hotwife @DrDavidLey How many “hotwives” have you interviewed in your research?

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 17:25:49 DrDavidLey candaulism, being turned on by others seeing your wife sexually, is a big turn on for a lot of reasons. including, it makes you feel like a king, that other men desire the women who married you.

2019-08-19 17:26:03 Jmart72 @DrDavidLey I’m an upcoming hotwife/vixen... as some of the others have commented, the men are aroused to see their girl with another man, but the woman gets angry and jealous. I would agree, as a woman... is that a gender thing?

2019-08-19 17:26:15 Cubemex @DrDavidLey thanks for the reply. The female side of the equation is really interesting.

2019-08-19 17:26:15 Paintingprettyface @DrDavidLey preach!

2019-08-19 17:26:20 DrDavidLey norther ut - for my book/ probably 50 or so? since? another couple hundred easily.

2019-08-19 17:26:25 GardenWife90 I know i like candaulism...@DrDavidLey

2019-08-19 17:26:30 Hambone57 Looks like I have a lot of reading to do.

2019-08-19 17:26:32 BigNakedDick But what about the aspect of me wanting them to have her?

2019-08-19 17:26:44 Mr Roper @Hambone57 me too

2019-08-19 17:26:57 Matt_cucky @DrDavidLey - how to introduce these fantasies to a shy wife ? Is there an approach ?

2019-08-19 17:27:25 BigNakedDick And why do I want to see her have an orgasum from him and for him to ejaculate all over her?

2019-08-19 17:27:33 myhotasianwife @DrDavidLey Do you think there is a lot of narcissism in candaulism? I fear there is

Copyright © 2019 www.thecuckoldconsultant.com 2019-08-19 17:27:45 DrDavidLey jmart - yes. wome who lose their husband suffer more, economically, etc. there’s a big social compoentent that makes women suffer more, or at least fear it more. when i hear anger - i think, “fear.” as a therapist, anger is usually a secondary emotion, pointing at soething the person fears...

2019-08-19 17:28:16 DrDavidLey narcissism - sure. that doesn’t have to be a bad thing though - it can be moderated by honesty.

2019-08-19 17:28:17 ShyWifeGuy @Matt_cucky see Dr. 36 on ways to introduce your wife!

2019-08-19 17:28:25 Dr36 As our time with @DrDavidLey is soon coming to an end, I want to thank him for taking the time out of his life to come here and do this AMA with us. He’s truly on the bleeding edge when it comes to research and knowledge involving sex, sexuality, and alternative relationship lifestyles; his work has also helped in the more recent “legitimization” of these desires. Please join me in giving him a round and if you haven’t already, defintiely make sure to visit his website for more information and resources: https://davidleyphd.com

2019-08-19 17:28:29 Jmart72 @DrDavidLey very interesting and makes perfect sense! Thanks

2019-08-19 17:28:32 DrDavidLey introduce wives to this - BU HER MY BOOK

2019-08-19 17:28:40 DrDavidLey THANKS FOLKS!!!!

2019-08-19 17:28:47 BigNakedDick Thank you, I came late but it was fun

2019-08-19 17:28:50 Mr Roper @DrDavidLey thank you very much

2019-08-19 17:28:52 Unclebull @Dr36 nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,please dont end it.

2019-08-19 17:28:58 Hambone57 Thanks Doc

2019-08-19 17:29:08 BigNakedDick I still dont know what I want my wife orgasuming with other men

2019-08-19 17:29:14 MA Hate that I can in at the end of this one

2019-08-19 17:29:19 DrDavidLey https://www.amazon.com/Insatiable-Wives-Women-Stray-Love- ebook/dp/B0056A8A2Y

2019-08-19 17:29:23 DrDavidLey CHEERS!

2019-08-19 17:29:34 u_mike thank you @DrDavidLey

2019-08-19 17:29:38 Unclebull @DrDavidLey you have no idea how much i wated to be here and listten to you. i know i asked to much. thanks for your time.

2019-08-19 17:29:48 Cle_Eli @DrDavidLey was interesting, thanks!

2019-08-19 17:30:05 Dr36 Check out one of the books that put hotwifing on the map for many many people. @DrDavidLey linked to it above--he wrote and it’s worth the read!

2019-08-19 17:30:47 here4fun @DrDavidLey Thank you for your time

2019-08-19 17:31:05 Unclebull @Dr36 i odnt know how you made him come here and spend the time with us. you are the MAN. thanks alot.

This marks the end of the AMA event. If you haven’t seen Dr. David Ley’s website yet, go here and you’ll have all the information you need:

And here’s the proof pic for the AMA: