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Home , FourFiveSeconds, Sufjan Stevens, The Age of Adz

1955 2015

THEWednesday, February 11, 2015 - Vol. 61.16 14049 Scenic Highway,BAGPIPE Lookout Mountain, GA 30750 www.bagpipeonline.com Payday Loans Locally Grown in Chatt This is Not a Drill Food BY GARRETT SISSON BY LINDSAY PACE On Feb. 3, the Chattanooga City 2015 has just begun and local, Council voted 5-4 to put a morato- farm-fresh food scenes in Chat- rium on new permits for alternative tanooga have increased now more financing businesses, including than ever. Covenant College payday loan stores. On Feb. 10, the students have become dramati- council will vote on a permanent cally more involved after Eden ordinance to ban such companies Thistle, a local farm, began a 2015 from setting up within 500 feet Buyer’s Club. The $40 membership of residential areas, as well as a subscription includes a monthly quarter mile from other stores in retrieval of seasonal meats such the industry. as pork, chicken, eggs, tenderloin, The ordinance was proposed on and ham. Jan. 12 by Carol Berz and Rus- Environmental science majors sell Gilbert in order to decrease Rachel Kelley and Lauren Seip city crime by spreading out the both enjoy volunteering at the concentration of title pawn and Debris from the scene of the Andreas fire, photo by Abby Whisler farm, exploring a godly approach to BY ZACH JONES cash advance organizations. farming. According to edenthistle. “We know that predatory lending When Sarah Cretal decided to available for comment on the fire’s is out, he said, protocol requires com, these approaches entail leads to a decrease in capital hang out with friends in Andreas cause. Matt Owens pulled the fire the firemen to go into every room purchasing pasture-raised meats, investment, hurts neighborhoods lobby last Thursday night, she alarm at 9:50, and the West Brow to make sure there are no fires and eating fewer processed foods, and and has even been linked to didn’t think that she would leave Fire Department arrived by about no smoke. eating less meat. Siep said, “They increases in crime,” says Mayor the building 30 minutes later 10:00 p.m. Students in the build- have a buyer's club where you can Berke, according to the Chat- because of a fire and then be “Almost as soon as I saw the fire, ing at the time of the fire were subscribe and get a membership. tanooga Times Free Press. forced to find a new room for the Sarah Withers comes sprinting past evacuated to the chapel and You'll get eggs, chicken breasts, “It just seems like a good step weekend. But that’s what happened and starts banging on Chris Stern’s then released after everyone was chicken thighs, whole chickens, that we can legally take at the local when a golf cart parked outside of door,” Cretal says. “Then Chris, accounted for. “The evacuation and whole pigs." level to prevent the concentrations Andreas caught fire. Matt, and Micah went at it with fire went like clockwork. Everyone After the city's leading farmer's from increasing.” Last Thursday, Feb. 5, at extinguishers.” exited just the way they were market advocacy group, Gaining All that is usually required to approximately 9:45 p.m., a Chris Stern, Resident Director asked to,” said Stern. “It was a Ground, was depleted of grant take out a payday loan is a form Covenant College Safety & of Andreas, said Sunday that the great collaborative effort from the money in 2013, Chattanooga of identification and proof of Security golf cart parked outside of fire department arrived on site in building.” farmers, supporters, and Covenant employment, which is appealing Andreas lobby caught fire. Micah exactly 9 minutes and that the fire Only minor damage to students have banded together to to customers who don’t have credit Turner was on shuttle duty when was completely extinguished five the building was done, including continue health-conscious prac- at a local bank. Often, the loan is the fire occurred, but has not been minutes afterwards. After the fire blackened brick siding and five tices by buying from local farmers CONTINUED ON PAGE 3 CONTINUED ON PAGE 2 CONTINUED ON PAGE 3

NEWS 1-3 Grammy Apology to Third Wheeling Edith Stein ARTS 4-5 Performance Isn't So Bad Review OPINIONS 6-7

SPORTS 8 PAGE 4 PAGE 5 PAGE 6 PAGE 7 NEWS 2 2 THETHE BAGPIPE BAGPIPE VOLUMEVolume 61.16 60.24

Gig Tank BY ELIOT KAUFMANN Chattanooga’s high-speed internet been there since the beginning. While Gig Tank 2014 concen- compile information about common executive director Mike Bradshaw, is doing far more than simply facili- Since 2010, they have launched a trated on 3-D printing startups, sicknesses, such as the flu, and “Startups are now better positioned tating painless Netflix viewings. number of companies, including the 2015 rendition marks a return predict when and where another than ever to begin developing The city has become a breeding Chattanooga hotspots like Velo to what they originally set out to outbreak will occur. The vision is high-bandwidth business models.” ground for startup businesses that Coffee and The CrashPad. do—high-speed innovation. This that one day, people will be able to Gig Tank 2015 is currently are looking to take advantage of In 2012, CO.LAB commenced year, entrepreneurs will develop open an application on their phone accepting applications. The internet speeds that are fifty times an annual program titled Gig Tank. applications that are specifically and check if the area they are application window will close the country average. Lasting fourteen weeks, Gig Tank’s designed to operate at one gigabit about to enter is germ-infested. on March 31st. The program will Since 2012, more than thirty focus is to help startups utilize per second speed. This kind of innovation is stretch from May 4th to August tech startups have sprung up in Chattanooga’s one gigabit per CO.LAB and Gig Tank are precisely what CO.LAB envisioned 15th, concluding with Demo Day Chattanooga. Much of this can be second internet, the fastest speed responsible for putting companies when they started Gig Tank in where business plans will be credited to the metro-wide fiber in the United States. Entrepreneurs like Corpora on the map, which 2012. However, back then they presented to potential partners and infrastructure and the priority on develop a business plan over the uses real-time updates weren’t sure how widespread ultra investors. getting cheap broadband to the fourteen weeks, working with and other public data to track high-speed internet would be. masses. experts along the way. The program the trends of illnesses. Started Now that gigabit communities are CO.LAB, a company that helps culminates with presentations to by Adam Sadilek, Corpora uses a reality, Gig Tank is refocused on startups get on their feet, has potential investors. high-speed internet to quickly accelerating startups. According to

Andreas Fire CONTINUED FROM FRONT PAGE broken windows. Caston of The Fritz. “The Internet But if students thought that the was out, so I hadn’t even seen the craziness caused by the fire would email yet. My suitemate comes into end when the flames died out, they my room and told me I had to be were wrong. Since the night of the out by 11:30 p.m. It was jarring.” fire, life for Andreas residents has Students have been asked not only gotten more crazy. to park in the Andreas parking lot. Dean of Students Brad Voyles Furthermore, the Internet in the told Andreas students in an email building is still disconnected at on Friday afternoon that the school the time of this writing. But Caston has hired Nivek, a remediation ser- said that she finds redemption in vice, to clean the building. School all the chaos: administration estimates that it will “It makes me feel compassion take approximately a week for the for the homeless. Or those perse- building to be thoroughly cleaned. cuted for their faith, living on the In that same email, Voyles run and leaving everything behind. announced that all 111 students That would be horrible—and this is housed in the building would be only three days.” asked to move out hall by hall for Covenant administration hired three days each while cleaning took professional cleaners to wash any place. Fourth floor halls—The Fritz clothes, bed sheets, and rugs that By Friday morning, the golfcart was completely destroyed, photo by Abby Whisler and Imani—were expected to leave students needed cleaned. The place to stay. Chris Stern sent an to return to their rooms until Nivek timeline to bring the building back only hours after the email was sent residence staff distributed trash email to students expressing clearly finished cleaning the hall. to full function is more ambiguous in order to allow cleaning to begin bags, and by Friday night laundry- that “We have several open rooms All halls were originally than originally thought, because immediately. Ithaca and Bloodfield filled bags lined the halls to be across campus and enough open expected to be able to return to of “Nivek’s hard work to do this were also asked to leave earlier taken away. beds so that no one will have to their rooms by Wednesday, and thoroughly.” than planned when cleaning moved Andreas residence staff were sleep on the floor.” cleaning was slotted to take no ahead of schedule Sunday night. very intentional in their efforts to Once cleaning began on each more than a week. Since that time, “It was crazy,” said Ann Ferris make sure that each student had a hall, students were not permitted however, Stern has said that the Faculty Quote of the Week “I’m more of a marathon runner than a stripper.” - Professor Robinson in Sociology of Emotions VolumeNEWS 60.243 THETHE BAGPIPE BAGPIPE VOLUME 61.16NEWS 3 The Verdict Locally Grown Food CONTINUED FROM FRONT PAGE Yes to finding your and businesses, which are easily to know their farmer personally. true love. advertised by Harvested Here “Farmers and people you would Food Hub. have never crossed paths with No to pre-Valentine's Harvested Here aims to connect become like family.” Media snuggles in chapel. farmers with the community and marketing prove to be a through business services like key factor in facilitating these distribution networks and relationships. These platforms comprehensive workshops. give farmers more time to grow With fresh food high in demand, and maintain products so that Harvested Here primarily aims they spend less time on market- THE BAGPIPE to educate and remind residents ing and distribution. of why buying local is important. Harvested Here's lime green Their website defines local food logo adorns the doors of busi- as “fruits, vegetables, meats, nesses like 212 Market, Southern eggs, artisanal cheeses, breads, Sqweeze, Local Juice, and and more” that are grown in a Easy Bistro. Other businesses 1955 2015 100 mile radius of one’s city. place the logo on packaging. “We see it as our mission to Currently, Harvested Here serves strengthen and secure the future Slider’s Pizza, Niedlov’s, and Eden Thistle's new baby goats, photo from the Edith Thistle Facebook page of a healthy regional food supply,” Community Café, among others. to Frank and Dottie Brock, vegetables, they offer eggs, said Whitney Marks, sales and The company also has a website former president and alumna, chicken, and forested pork, which Liz Simakoff marketing director of the company and several media outlets such as respectively. Their website states: is similar to free-range chicken. . “Educating and involving the Facebook, Twitter and . “Eden Thistle Land Stewardship The meat isn’t USDA certified, Editor in Chief public—our consumers—is part Eden Thistle Land Stewardship Co. exists to create connections but everything is organic.” of that mission.” Co., run by Covenant alumni for students, families, and our Students who want to subscribe Gabby Powell Besides forming stronger Marshall and Katherine Teague, community to interact with to Eden Thistle's Buyers' Club or business incentives, the company is another farm-fresh option responsible husbandry practices." volunteer at the farm can contact Layout Editor establishes stronger community for Chattanooga residents, but Covenant students can easily the Teague's at edenthistle@ relationships. Marks stated that especially Covenant students. The plug in to Eden Thistle. Kelley gmail.com. Adrienne Siegenthaler customers and farmers develop farm is not only close to the col- added to Siep’s comments, saying Managing Editor trust because consumers can get lege, but the farmland belonged that “although they don’t grow

Stephanie Taylor Copy Hannah McCoy News Payday Loans in Chatt CONTINUED FROM FRONT PAGE Jamison Shimmel Arts secured by post-dating and sign- added to the original loan. Most to poor households when other give away one billion dollars in ing a check to the business. If payday loans must also be paid financial institutions will not.” grant money to applying missionary Jonathan Moore Opinions the loan is not paid back on time, back in “balloon payments” –in Despite this controversy, groups. After years of scrutiny and the client must pay a fee to roll full at once, which means rollovers prosecution for shop owners is investigations, Brown was finally Nate Frierson Sports over the repayment date, or else are frequent. According to the Cen- uncommon. One notable exception indicted for selling payday loans risk being sued by the company. ter for Responsible Lending, the occurred last August, when Chat- online to clients in Manhattan. Megan Walter Web It is estimated that there are as average payday loan borrower takes tanooga’s Carey Vaughn Brown was It remains to be seen whether many payday loan stores in the out nine loans a year. Moreover, charged with 38 counts of usury for lasting regulation will be placed on Abby Whisler Photo United States as Mcdonald’s and post-dating checks is illegal, which creating “a payday syndicate” with advance cash businesses in Chat- Trent Kelly Distribution Starbucks combined. Payday means that the borrower cannot Ron Beaver and Joanna Temple, tanooga, to what extent measures lending is illegal in fourteen successfully sue the loan company. a legal counselor. As the New will be taken to minimize risk to Garrett Sisson Staff Writer states, including Georgia, and Most arguments in favor of York Times and the Chattanooga clients, and whether such measures Washington D.C. payday lending focus on the fact Times Free Press previously will be effective. However, the Carrie Woodward Staff Writer Payday lending and other that payday loan offices are only reported, Brown indirectly owned ordinance that will be voted on related transactions have been intended for short term relief, and about 14 companies with offshore on Feb. 10 could potentially Faculty Advisor criticized as exploitative to the clients are fully aware of the risks interests set up as far as Bermuda. create chances for further dialogue Cliff Foreman needy. If a typical payday lender in the loan process when signing These businesses, which Brown between lobbyists from both sides For inquiries or comments, contact charges at a 15% interest rate their contracts. In Tom Lehman’s called “shell” companies, raised of the payday loan debate. [email protected] every two weeks, the annual book In Defense of Payday Lend- money for his Christian charity This is a Covenant College student publication percentage rate is about 400% ing, Lehman says that the stores organization, the “Covenant Values The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the College or the student body. a year, in addition to late fees are a service that “provide loans Foundation,” which pledged to

If you have something you wish to read about or would like to write an article for News, please contact News editor Emmett Gienapp at [email protected]. ARTS 4 4 THETHE BAGPIPE BAGPIPE VOLUMEVolume 61.16 60.24

SIX WORD Scout Finch Lives On? BY CATHERINE LANDERS STORY Literature lovers everywhere ing company HarperCollins to and cooperation. as “sharp as a tack.” rejoiced last week as Harper Lee, reap the rewards of the reclusive Connor Sheets reported on With multiple sources and views author of the renowned 1960 renowned writer. Though many Wednesday that “Tonja Carter it is hard to fully know Lee's inten- classic To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee fans were excited, has long represented Lee and has tions. What should be a triumphant announced that she would be pub- many were worried whether Lee power of attorney over her affairs. literary discovery — a find that lishing a sort-of sequel entitled Go really wanted to release the book. But area residents who know the could dramatically add to the For sale: Set a Watchman, to be released in They are worried that Tonja Carter writer say that Carter has in recent legacy of one of the country’s most July of 2015. Go Set a Watchman is is not treating Lee's work suitably. years taken steps to keep her from cherished authors — has quickly said to be about To Kill a Mocking- Many also became concerned when seeing her friends and family, and morphed into a puzzling contro- Bachelor's bird’s young heroine, Scout Finch, Lee's editor, Hugh Van Dusen in become increasingly litigious on versy, and leads us to ask how all grown up. Lee is currently 88 an interview appeared to have no her behalf in a way that they do not do we as readers respond to such years old and living in an assisted inkling where the manuscript came believe Lee would have supported claims? What if Lee in her sound degree. living near her hometown of from or if it had been, or would be, when she was younger and more state would have wanted Go Set a Monroeville, Alabama. Until now, edited. Therefore many are hoping alert.” One woman Sheets spoke to, Watchman hidden in a box rather To Kill a Mockingbird has been her that HarperCollins will decide to Janet Sawyer, described Carter as than in our eager outstretched Hardly only book, and she has declined to not publish Watchman at all. “greedy,” a predatory presence who hands? Lee's reclusive life surely speak publicly for decades, which Though Carter relayed that Lee “isolated [Lee] from the world in testifies that she would not have is why this announcement has was indeed alive, fully functioning, order to manipulate her.” wanted this book published; she used. come as a shock to the literature and happy about the public's However, Cynthia McMillan, a has concealed the manuscript for community and beyond. The response to the release, Lee’s per- resident assistant at The Meadows 60 years. Go Set a Watchman is statement was released by Lee's sonal state of well-being has been assisted living facility who has undoubtedly a newfound piece of -Hillary Eames attorney, Tonja Carter, who quotes questioned in the past. In 2007 taken care of Ms. Lee for several art, yet is it wrong for the public to Lee stating she is "alive and she suffered a stroke that forced years, said in an interview that Ms. view it? Hopefully Harper Lee will kicking and happy as hell with the her to move to the assisted living Lee was alert, understood what was release a new statement concerning Submit your own six-word reactions [to] Go Set a Watchman." home. Several months later she happening with the newly found the book that will help us better story to Jamison Shimmel and check out bagpipeonline.com Yet there is some controversy sued her agent for stealing royalties manuscript and seemed invigorated understand her intentions so we for more stories! concerning Lee's intentions about from To Kill a Mockingbird. Then by the prospect of publishing can enjoy Go Set a Watchmen this the book. The manuscript for in 2011 she declared that Marja again. “She seems excited about it, July with her full blessing. Watchman had resurfaced recently, Mills' biography of Lee's life was and it has given her something to which led many to question if the unauthorized even though Mills focus on since her sister died,” Ms. discovery is one way for publish- insisted that she had Lee's blessing McMillan said, describing Ms. Lee

Edith Stein BY ANDREW LUPINEK Edith Stein is a heart-wrenching nothing in common. However, upon At the beginning of the play, we when Karl discovers the convent for Karl, and desires to twist the play set in WWII Germany. The closer examination, we come to are presented with a broken Edith and simultaneously takes a liking very arm of God himself to destroy story follows the exploits of a Jew- realize that they share the same who has recently returned from to the earnest nun who so easily him. She admits to wanting “… ish convert to Christianity, Edith problem at the source. the front during WWI, where she resists his attempts at seduction. to be the perfect bride for Him, as Stein, as told by her aged Prioress Karl Heinz is a recent inductee volunteered as a nurse for half- Ignorant of her identity, Karl begins any woman wants to perfect herself to a no-nonsense Jewish repre- to the Ministry of Church Affairs, a dead soldiers from the trenches. to visit more frequently, and the for the man she loves, so that he sentative from the International former jailbird who has swallowed She is a compulsive smoker, and stress begins to mount on Edith’s will do her bidding…my…unholy Holocaust Committee named Dr. the notion of German supremacy is haunted by the horrors she has shoulders as, time and time again, bidding.” Weismann. Edith believes she is hook, line, and sinker. He believes seen, spending days locked in he makes clear that her refusal of Karl Heinz and Edith share the chosen by God to intercede for her that he has the natural right to her attic, reliving each terrible him will result in the obliteration same fault. Both have a twisted people, much like the Esther of the power, and this belief affects every- moment. Only the intervention of her new home and family found view of themselves—Karl obvi- Bible, and joins the Convent of the thing he does. Having obtained that of her childhood friend Hannah in the Carmelite Sisters. Edith is ously the more extreme of the Carmelite Sisters, near Auschwitz. power from his SS superior Franzy, Reinach serves to propel Edith to thoroughly repulsed by Karl Heinz, two—and both are devoted to their However, her greatest trial is Heinz initiates his own reign of ter- faith in Christ, and she repudiates and she begins to find that she own autonomy. It manifests in found in the person of Karl Heinz, ror over the churches and convents her atheism, joining the Convent cannot pray for him—a serious Karl Heinz as megalomania and in representative of the Ministry nearby Auschwitz, from posing of the Carmelite Sisters. There she problem for a Carmelite. It is at the Edith as manipulation, but at the of Church Affairs. His demand as a priest in the confessional to is mentored by the story’s narrator, breaking point that Edith discovers heart, they both rebel against God’s is simple: Edith must leave the conducting raids. He is constantly the Prioress, along with the senile why she cannot pray for Karl Heinz authority to determine identity. As convent with him, or he will bring caught up in one-upmanship, pride, Sister Prudence and the fiery Sister and why her attempts to intercede the play culminates in the final act it crashing down around her ears. and various romantic pursuits; he Ruth. While she seeks to devote for her people have failed. Karl’s with Karl and Edith, she realizes Throughout Karl and Edith’s is the center of his reality, treating her life to prayer for her people, stated goal is to become a god on her flaw, and her response to Karl cat-and-mouse relationship, we are others, most notably the women in we begin to see she has higher earth, seeking out his “Celestial Heinz will change both their lives introduced to the major theme of his life, as inferior to himself. He is ambitions than even her Nazi Goddess,” to continue his line, forever in a cavalcade of grace and the play: identity. On the surface, marked by manipulation, mistrust, counterpart. but Edith, in her moment of trial, sacrifice. Karl and Edith seem to share and misunderstanding. The play races towards its climax realizes that she burns with hatred ARTSVolume 560.24 THETHE BAGPIPE BAGPIPE VOLUME 61.16ARTS 5

Sam Smith celebrating his grammys, photo from rtves.es

Grammy's Performance Review BY JAMISON SHIMMEL

Sunday night was Sam Smith’s DC’s polarizing show opener, which of the 1956 “I Put a Spell On You” ing from her muse Maddie Ziegler. elevated their performance further night. Throughout the 57th has left many talking. While every (backed by Hozier), which resulted Sia’s vocals were rich and powerful and left me with goose bumps. Grammy Awards, Smith won 4 artist brought their best, there were in a standing ovation. Their power- as usual, but the focus was placed Legend’s soulful voice shone bright awards, including three of the several who delivered unforgettable ful voices together indeed created on the dancers—and rightly so. and was the perfect compliment “Big 4”—new artist, best , performances that deserve to be a memorable Grammy Moment that Sia surprised fans by incorporating to Common’s poignant rap lyrics. record, and song (losing in Best discussed further. brought Lennox into the forefront of SNL alum Kristen Wiig as Ziegler’s Their performance gave a classy Album to Beck). The singer gave First, in one of the more political a younger generation’s mind. dancing partner. The brilliance ending to an arguably tamer-than- a show stopping duet performance moments of the show, a call to A more surprising pairing of Wiig as a dancer was found in normal Grammys show. with Mary J. Blige of his Grammy action against domestic violence was found in Lady Gaga and Tony her ability to bring the energy and This year’s performances winning song “Stay With Me,” and was followed by a polished yet Bennett, who chose to perform physicality from her SNL charac- recognized the unforgettable music concluded his time on stage by honest performance from Katy the titular track to their jazz duet ters to a serious stage performance of 2014, and grew excitement for giving a cheeky thank you while Perry of one of her newer Prism album Cheek to Cheek. While while still being entertaining, and what is to come in 2015. Per usual, accepting the award for Record of tracks “By the Grace of God.” many were surprised about Gaga’s incredibly impressive. controversy was present, both in the Year saying “I want to thank Clothed in white, against a white choice to go jazz, the audiences The night’s big winner awards and performances, such as the man who this record is about backdrop, Perry delivered a clean both live and those watching Sam Smith performed with the the decision to allow Beyonce to who I fell in love with last year. and uncharacteristically reserved from home were given a pleasant legendary Mary J. Blige, referenced perform the Selma-featured classic Thank you so much for breaking performance worthy of the Grammy surprise as the duo performed a earlier, and not only brought the gospel piece “Precious Lord, Take my heart because you got me four stage. However, it was arguably near flawless rendition of “Cheek house down, but also united two My Hand,” as well as the shocking Grammys.” While many watched overshadowed by the memory of to Cheek,” which arguably relied artists who couldn’t be better suited Album of the Year win by Beck for the awards, the show’s strongest her Super Bowl halftime extrava- heavily the jazz training as well for each other’s vocal styles. Both for his Morning Phase. But, while aspect was arguably the plethora ganza. as monster-level fame of Stefani vocal powerhouses, Smith and everyone has their own opinion of artists performing a great One of the best “Grammy Germonatta—a.k.a. Lady Gaga. Blige’s careful attention to musical regarding awards snubs and right deal of this year’s biggest hits. Moments” (a newer addition to the The most dramatic perfor- detail and honest interpretation decisions, we can agree that Described by TIME Magazine as show in which two rather different mance of the night, and perhaps my of a broken-heart song left jaws the performances this year were “an endless concert where they artists are paired together to favorite in terms of entertainment dropped and ears pleased. memorable and will inspire young also handed out a few awards,” perform live) was Hozier and Annie value, came in the form of Sia’s Finally, my personal artists to continue furthering their the Grammys were packed with 23 Lennox. What began as a solo electrifying performance of her hit favorite performance in recent craft. electrifying performances including “Take Me to Church” performance “Chandelier.” The live performance Grammy history closed this year’s the highly anticipated , by Hozier quickly shifted to Lennox featured the back of Sia’s head—as show: Common and ’s Kanye, and Paul McCartney entering, stealing his thunder. and she will not show her face while “Glory” from this year’s film Selma. “FourFiveSeconds” as well as AC/ belting out an incredible rendition performing—and the lyrical danc- The incorporation of a gospel choir

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An Open Apology to Sufjan Stevens BY CALVIN CUMMINGS Dear Sufjan Stevens, Just to jog your memory: it was we were discussing some of your it really throws us for a loop. Even that swift motion, I cut him out of the second night of your and Justin potentially homoerotic lyricism though you’re wearing a frayed conversation with you. He said he’d I hope you don’t remember me Peck’s ballet Everywhere We Go, in and we saw baseball cap with a cartoon duck see you around the neighborhood because that would mean one of late May, and you were standing you, we both reacted—bodily. I on it, laceless rubber boots, and so I guess you guys are friends. He several things. Either a) that I with a glass of champagne in the nearly jumped, she made some that baggy jaguar t-shirt, and even didn’t seem too worried that you didn’t actually bother you by sweat- foyer of the Ballet noise, but neither of us broke our though we’re all thinking, “That’s guys wouldn’t be able to catch up, ily interrupting your conversation just after your ballet had finished. stride because how embarrassing the same shirt from the but yeah it was still rude. with that tall man in the camel At the perceived near-end of the is it to be star-struck? You were video!” we know that we shouldn’t I remember very little of our jacket, or b) that I did bother you intermission, my friend (short, talking to Camel Jacket Guy and come talk to you. Not only would conversation which makes sense by deciding we should meet, but obsidian curls, tortoise-shell His Wife, and we noticed the other it be annoying, but those who are seeing as I felt so close to vomiting, that you’re also a terribly forgiving glasses) and I (tall, blonde, black twenty-somethings in American talking to you—old women wearing fainting, etc. You had me all in a person who is sympathetic to all jacket a size too small) were Eagle chic walking past you with real pearls, old men with pins on tizzy, making me realize I’m that the twenty-something Anglo-Saxon, walking back to our seats, talking the same we-gotta-stay-cool-dude their suit jackets—have some other guy—the one who mocks others Protestant dudes who think you’re about, guess who—you! She had look. We were all heading to the connection, we’re sure, that would for losing their marbles in front a big effing deal, or c) that you’re just endured a brief litany on the same place—the three-floors-up allow them to talk to you. Well, of celebrities, but is just as much forgetful, which works because balcony about your progression nose-bleeds on the periphery of we have these anxieties until our of an embarrassment when he is then, hey—no harm no foul. as an artist along with several the balcony—the cheapest seats in friend tells us we should go talk to confronted with his own hero. And No matter which of these is true, sentimental stories about you and the entire room. We’re all heading you. Then we say, “No way. He’s it is for this that I am sorry: being the end result is the same: you me and—sigh—life. You know, I there because we’re all the kind of a person. I’d just be using him,” an idiot... don’t remember me, and the only bought a because of “For the people who, when thirsty, notice to which they respond with the one who could read back your side Widows in Paradise,” and I became there are no water fountains and most rallying question we’ve ever of the record would be the Lord. I friends with someone in my high walk up to the little concession heard, “When will you ever get this For Calvin's full apology, check understand that if you’re actually school chemistry class because of tables with the women in sequin chance again?” out www.bagpipeonline.com, reading this I’m reminding you that breathing you did at the end dresses standing behind them Cutting through a crowd of under the Opinions tab. of the very thing I hope you have of “.” We both expecting a water bottle to cost less people walking the opposite direc- no recollection of, but, if you’re were like, “How chilling is that!” than what we paid for our dinner tion isn’t actually that difficult; as I actually reading this, then I also and “Can you believe how Sufjan that night. We are also the kind of salmon-ed myself your way I could have the unique opportunity to identifies with that guy?” You made people who ask the coat check guy feel my heartbeat in my ears. And apologize. And I think, Sufjan, us feel less alone, man. You said in the suit-tails if the coat check is I know I scared the living crap you’ll find that I’m actually an things that no one else in a position free to find out, pitying-head-shake out of you. CJG was mid-sentence incredibly reasonable guy, and I like yours was saying. no, it’s not. And we’re just trying to when I shouted, “Hi Sufjan,” see no reason why, at the end of all But, at any rate, she knew you keep it cool. So when you’re there, while extending my hand around this, we can’t be good friends. were important to me. So when Sufjan, fifteen feet away from us, his back to your right hand. With

Sufjan Stevens in , California, photo from www.vulture.com OPINIONSVolume 60.24 7 THETHE BAGPIPE BAGPIPE VOLUME 61.16OPINIONS 7

A Realistic Review of American Sniper BY BEN SWAKOPF Clint Eastwood’s new cinematic engage with the insurgents [sic] shown on screen, while every time to the psychology of a single man At the end of his review, Mr. Jan- work, American Sniper, is a work of viewpoint.” How then, I ask, can it was used negatively the camera (now, I realize that a movie with a tomaso urged us to remember “the glorified patriotism. In last week’s one even begin to believe that the somehow didn’t want to show it? runtime of 132 minutes cannot be extreme sacrifices” necessary to edition of The Bagpipe, Mr. Janto- film presents a realistic view of war Was it realistic that almost every comprehensive with such an issue, “maintain our freedom.” American maso even described it as “awe- when all standpoints other than single Arab portrayed in the movie but I’m not the one praising it for Sniper supposedly helps us carry inspiring.” From my perspective, Kyle’s are left out? was either shooting at them or its “realism,” am I?). out this task, and I have yet to read Mr. Eastwood seems to have picked Was the film realistic in its betraying them? Or that the only This blurry and partial version a laudatory review of the movie that up the torch from Kathryn Bigelow, omission of atrocities committed thing Iraqis deserve to be called is of the Iraq War is guided by the omits similar phrasing. However, director of the 2013 Academy by American soldiers at Abu “savages” with “evil” motivations ethos of a speech given by Kyle’s harkening back to Craig Mattson’s Awards flop Zero Dark Thirty. Just Ghraib prison? Was it realistic (with nice, subtle cut-scenes father at the table one day. Using words from last week’s chapel, I like Bigelow, Eastwood has found when it blatantly implied a rational from the discord in Fallujah to a an especially inadequate metaphor, insist that we harshly criticize and a way to shimmy into several Oscar transition from footage of the Twin civilized, ol’ fashioned auto-repair he describes only three types of avoid such vacuous phrases. Their nominations by feeding Americans Towers collapsing to Chris Kyle shop in the U.S.)? Honestly, the people in the world: the sheep, the meaning has been emptied by the the narcissistic justification they sitting in the transport truck in entire aura of the movie in regard wolves, and the sheepdogs. There’s recorded atrocities of American need in order to feel cozy about our Fallujah--which conveniently to our military’s intervention in Iraq no doubt about which one Kyle foreign policy in the 20th & 21st government’s actions abroad. skipped over two different declara- revealed an attitude reminiscent of and, still broader, the United States centuries, but the peddlers of these The main thrust of Mr. Janto- tions of war against two different Kipling’s poem “The White Man’s are supposed to be, because the myths have largely gone unchal- maso’s article, and the basis of countries a year apart, as well Burden,” written in 1899. narrative of Eastwood’s propaganda lenged in specific political circles. his recommendation to go view it as the government’s purportedly The only substantial realism only gives one option: our troops, Instead, admirers of American ourselves, was that it portrays war pristine motivations (or lack is the presentation of Kyle’s the sheepdogs, defending pure, Sniper for such reasons should in a “realistic light”; in fact, he thereof) for entering this war in the psychosis, but even the effects of woolly Americans from the raven- be pressed to spell out exactly belabors this point by repeating the first place? this on his family are shown in a ous, inhuman Arabs. how our “freedoms” this side of word “realistic” three times in his Furthermore, was it realistic that fragmentary manner. The narrative The “light” in which this film the Atlantic were being assaulted review. I certainly agree with him every single time Chris Kyle had to method that Eastwood employs- was shot leaves any viewer with by the existence of a régime (that concerning the distressing effects make a tough decision on whether -presenting the war through the only piecemeal perceptions that, in both took and maintained power of PTSD and other mental disorders or not to pull the trigger, he just eyes of one man--even manages isolation, would allow them to form with U.S. support) who was not following traumatic service, but the happened to choose correctly (I to ruin the one beneficial thing I a slipshod and cursory determina- connected with 9/11 and did not realism stops there. Mr. Jantomaso guess it’s comforting to know that hoped would come from the movie: tion about the Iraq War at best, have the weapons our torturous even says it himself: “Other every single human our soldiers a debate about the nature of the and a self-serving, ego-feeding, Intelligence Agency told us they soldiers are merely peripheral killed deserved it)? Was it realistic Iraq War in the grand scheme. racist, ignorant, prejudiced, and did. One will soon find that, given additions to the narrative, and in that every single time a gun Unfortunately, the only discussions intervention-justifying model for a proper push, platitudes topple Eastwood certainly does not try to was used in a positive light it was that I’ve heard are whittled down war at worst. quite easily.

Third Wheeling Isn't So Bad BY NATHAN CLARK In my room hangs a poster advertis- potion air, trying not to gag. Ugh, maneuver without a third wheel. about you, you will truly be lonely and your significant other, as you ing an end of the world party. It they’re looking at each other again. Our concept of a relationship is and miserable. Your friends still will learn to keep your relationship was strewn with Mayan puns, a Would they stop holding hands?! about two people, who do their own like you, even if they have gone public. Now of course there are ping pong tournament, and there and, of course, When will I find thing, without anyone bothering insane over some boy or girl. They times that you may want to be was a band no one knew about. I someone? are common thoughts to them. In that context, yes, a third still want to see you. You ought to alone. There will be times they found it in a restaurant and pub on have. But it doesn’t have to be this wheel is useless; we ought to call be there as support, accountability, don’t want to be a third wheel. Just the uneventful 21st of December, way. them a spare tire. But biblically, and to help their relationship grow. be considerate of your friends’ 2012. It hangs (and usually Many people interpret the this is not how relationships are I know there is plenty of room for needs as well. falls) with pride in my room. It term “third wheel” to be derogatory, meant to be. We are made to be debate and nuance that I’m not I think very fondly of that represents a very fun night of great which, in one sense, it is. There is in community, to give of ourselves going to get into. But I ask you this: apocalyptic night. We all had a lot food, lots of laughing, and my an image of two lovers gazing into and seek to meet others’ needs. is spending all your time avoiding of fun and a lot of laughs. Sure, I horrifying attempt at learning how those windows of the soul, while Community is more than you and dating couples helping you? Ironi- was a third wheel, but who cares? to ice skate. On this night, I also that poor third soul slouches down, your significant other. Community cally, trying to intentionally avoid I was included in all the fun things happened to be a third wheel. bored out of his/her mind, waiting is more than you and your lonely couples may only serve to further that happened. I got to understand If you have lived in a dating to go home and watch Netflix. This soul. Community is all of us, and remind you of your singleness. my friend’s relationship, and conse- culture and have friends (which I person is very inconsequential to no one is useless or unnecessary. If you are dating, be quently my friend, in a deeper way. think covers all of us at Covenant), the events happening. If you are single, be a third considerate of your single friends. And I got to serve him. I didn’t feel you will inevitably be put in this But, to extend the wheel analogy, wheel when you get the chance. Know where they are, and don’t lonely at the end because I gave of position. And we all know the a third wheel’s usefulness is less Life is not about you. That is hard push them into the furnace to fuel myself and lived in community. So horror of watching two other people dependent on the wheel, and to hear, especially when you are your burning love. This means you relax guys. Being a third wheel is whisper sweet nothings at each more dependent on the vehicle. lonely and hurting, but it is the ought to include them in your fun not the end of the world. other while we inhale the love For example, tricycles could not truth. If you live as though life is times. This will actually help you

If you have something you wish to read about or would like to write an article for Opinions, please contact Opinions editor Lynae Rockwell [email protected]. SPORTS 8 8 THETHE BAGPIPE BAGPIPE VOLUMEVolume 61.16 60.24 Scots Sports Schedule

Friday, February 13

Varsity Baseball vs. Methodist 2:00 PM Lookout Mountain, Ga.

Women’s Tennis at Sewanee 8:00 PM Sewanee, Tenn. Covenant Scots Baseball team celebrating their 2014 USA South Conference Championship, Photo by Scots Athletics

Saturday, February 14 Scots on Deck BY NATE FRIERSON Varsity Baseball Coming off of the first conference the strongest in [his] tenure here at talking about the infusion of new and brotherhood. These guys love vs. Methodist championship title in the Covenant Covenant.” players into the system, Simons one another, pray for one another 11:00 AM baseball program’s history, there Despite all of this, there is still said that “Reilly is a speedy and help one another.” Kerr spoke Lookout Mountain, Ga. is no question that the Scots have something to prove for Covenant outfielder who has a chance of to this as well, saying that the a lot of momentum going into baseball. Ferrum was picked to being one of the top players in our team chemistry on this team is this season. The momentum has finish first in the USA South in conference. He will start for us in “amazing, “I've never been a part Men’s Tennis been building for several years spite of the fact that the Scots beat Center field. Caleb Bloye has been of a group as tightly knit as this.” vs. Gadsen State now with the program coming off them head-to-head last season and swinging the bat well since he got He attributes this closeness to 1:00 PM its fourth consecutive winning took home the conference regular here and will contribute some at the leadership of the seniors on Lookout Mountain, Ga. season. This year, Covenant was season championship trophy. 1B. Joel Johnson should see some the squad. One of those seniors, picked to finish second overall Beyond the USA South, there are playing time behind the dish. We Will Cleland, chalks a lot of that in the coaches’ preseason poll, other goals for the Scots. have some young outfielders that chemistry up to guys on the team Softball behind Ferrum College. Covenant’s Last season, Covenant’s season are ready to play but might have to enjoying one another and having vs. Berry baseball team also recieved votes ended when the team dropped wait because of the talent ahead of fun together. The bonding on team 1:00 PM in the D3Baseball.com Top 25 its first two games to Rhodes and them.” Simons also has a great deal road trips is a factor in the team’s Lookout Mountain, GA Rankings—no small feat, either. Shenandoah in regional play. of confidence in his pitching staff, success that is echoed by both The Scots finished 26-15 last year Sophomore catcher Alex Kerr saying that, “we have two pitchers Cleland and Kerr. Cleland summed with a 19-8 conference record and said that this is something that is (Micah Mabe and Garrett Kriston) up his approach to his final season Men’s Basketball they return six players who earned important to the team as they head who are as good as any pitchers as a Scot by saying that Covenant vs.Berea all-conference awards last season. into the season; “our goal every in our conference. When they are plays “in a great conference with a 2:00 PM That list of players includes: year is to play for Him and have on the mound, we will be hard to lot of good teams, but our team is Lookout Mountain, Ga. first team members Will Cleland fun doing it, that's the reason we're beat.” blessed with a lot of talent and has (second base), Perry Rigby (third out there grinding so hard. But The hidden strength of this the ability to repeat our title if we base), Will Carlton (outfield), and winning the USA South Champion- team, however, may be something continue to work hard.” Varsity Baseball Garret Kriston (pitcher); second ship and seeing how far we can go that is not apparent when looking The Scots opened this past week- vs. Methodist team member Scott Gillespie (first in the postseason is always on our at stats, top twenty-five polls, or end with three wins against Emory 2:00 PM base); and third team member minds.” win-loss records. Team chemistry & Henry. Next weekend they will Lookout, Mountain Ga. K.C. Simons (shortstop). When The Scots have a good chance of is a crucial piece for any good host conference foe Methodist at asked about this year’s team, doing just that as they continue to team, but it is something that can home on Friday at 2 p.m. and then ninth-year Head Coach Doug build on their success by bringing be difficult to create and easy they will finish the series against Softball Simons mentioned that “this is the in fresh talent to replace what they to lose. Talking with the Scots Methodist on Saturday with games vs. Berry most talented group of baseball have lost to graduation. Simons baseball team this year, it would at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m.. 3:00 PM players Covenant College has anticipates several new players appear they have it. Coach Simons Lookout Mountain, GA had,” in addition to the fact that making an impact this year includ- mentioned that the team’s “biggest the Scots’ “defense should also be ing transfer Ryan Reilly. When strengths are character, leadership

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