Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com The Conversation Sniper
101 brilliant conversation savers and hilarious one liners that make you the winner in every set BY: Mark Sing
Getting stuck in your conversations is a terrible feeling. You’ve opened like a champ, the set stuck, you worked in your gambits, then suddenly there’s an awkward silence and you can see her attraction wavering with each passing second. You wish you had something clever to say to fill in that gap. You wish you had a few extra bullets in your mag that you could shoot into the conversation to explode her attraction for you that much more. Well here it is! “The Conversation Sniper” Say these clever one-liners to a woman and you’ll be right back on course. Like anything else, it’s best to take the ones you feel 100% about. Belief in your line is half the battle. So take the ones you like, memorize them Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com and/or add them to your cell phone, and put them to use. Also, when reading, remember that teasing and playfulness build attraction. Imagine it like two kids in the school yard; you’re just busting her chops a little bit because you’re witty and you have a strong, attractive frame. Some of these lines can come off harsh unless they're delivered correctly. So make sure you're saying them in jest. With the right calibration these types of funny one-liners build attraction FAST. We always love hearing feedback so let us know what you think. We know these one-liners will get you that much closer to sealing the deal. Good luck!
• I read your file, I know what you’re capable of (I know what you’re up to)
• Go ahead and take a minute to get over this whole “insert topic” thing, I’ll wait…
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • Is that what you say to all the guys?
• Is that one of your pick-up lines?
• Not only are you fantastic, but you’re very fantastic
• I work at the freak show. I’m the world’s tallest midget
• I work at the freak show. I’m the one headed man
• Nod your head no while saying yes
• You don’t like (insert topic here)? That’s it, we can’t be friends anymore. OR, That’s it, we’re broken up now Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I’m going to the bathroom, here, watch my phone. Don’t look through it though, you won’t be able to handle what you find in there
• I promise to text you 500 times in a row until your cell phone overheats and burns a hole in your purse
• When you stalk me please promise to put the ladder back in my garage. All the other girls leave it resting on my house and it drives me nuts
• Oh you’re a model? I didn’t think there was much of a market for hand models anymore. Are you getting any work?
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • What are you like an eyebrow model of something?
• You’d look cute with a fanny pack
• I bet you’re good at rollerblading, huh?
• I bet you’re good at shot put
• I have to adjust my halo just to get into the room.
• I’m the official spokesperson for ... weather, clouds, raccoons, flying fish
• You're safe to go to dinner with me cuz I know the Hymlic remover.
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I've/you've been picked up so many times I'm/you're starting to grow handles
• I refuse to answer that on the grounds of I don't want to
• Talk amongst yourself for a minute. I'll be right back.
• I have a brother. He's crazy though. Last week he screamed at the cat because he didn't vote.
• See this palm. That's where she just had some lunch.
• What is something someone would be surprised to learn about you?
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • If you could put up a billboard, what would it say on it?
• If you could do anything without any chance of failure what would it be?
• If you had 90 million dollars, what would you do with your life?
• It's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun.
• What’s your earliest memory?
• If you could get on a plane right now and travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I can't believe you said that. You owe me a letter of apology due immediately.
• You need to shut up when you talk
• Do you meditate? No. That explains it.
• Remember, flies spread disease, so keep yours closed
• Woah, you’re smart. I bet when your 52 minutes through CSI you can predict the ending, huh?
• When she says something stupid, say: “You’re so pretty”
• Dunce corner for you, little girl!
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • If she asks why you’re there, say: “I know you’re trying to leave with me but c’mon now, we just met. Relax over there, seductress”
• Thank god you’re fun kinda
• Don’t come unpeeled now
• I think you lost your shooter marble. If I find it I’ll let you know
• You put the ass in assertive
• Here you are complaining about xxxxx, don’t you know that 9 out of 10 African children die every 2 minutes? C’mon, be more appreciative for what you have.
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • Am I right or am I very right?
• Does that feel good or amazing?
• I bet only recently you figured out that there’s not a left sock and not a right sock, huh?
• Stand down sergeant hater
• Relax captain negatron
• Going to the bathroom are ya? Look, you’re not at home right now. You can’t just throw your leg up on the sink and let one fly. Try to have some class when you’re in there, ok?
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I’m willing to bet that misses cranky pants over here has a nice side to her. It’s buried deep, but it’s in there.
• Don’t think you’re getting lucky tonight there, turbo
• I knew we were meant for each other the first time we met 5 minutes ago
• When she tells you an idea that’s kind of dumb or ridiculous: “Do me a favor and give me some warning before you go and shoot your ideas all over my face”
• I can tell just by looking at you that you don’t take any crap. Neither do I. That’s why we’d never get along.
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • Well I can't tell you what it means to lay these weary eyes on your beautiful beautiful face.
• If that's what you really believe, I'm afraid I can't help you with that.
• I'm gonna need Google translate on my phone if I'm gonna keep talking to you.
• Slow down there Johnny Hustle/Charlie Hustle.
• Social awkwardness is often the curse of a genius
• Getting old ain't for pussies
• So do you like ... weather?
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I don't know what to say to that (as you give a forehead slap type expression)
• Who are you, and where have you been my whole life?
• I got 6 numbers today. One more and I would have had a complete phone number.
• You have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason. LISTEN.
• Turn to your friend and say: I come in peace. Her, not so much (as you point to the girl)
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • You know what, I’ve walked by you on multiple occasions and you didn’t try to grab my ass. What’s going on over here?
• Did you learn that pick up line from a book?
• Is that purse imitation-imitation Gucci?
• Smack yourself on the ass, you’re a genuis
• I’m your biggest fan. No seriously, I think I’m your biggest fan (good to say if you’re overweight)
• You’re so cute, when you’re trying so hard to be cute
• You’re so cute when you’re trying to be funny
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • When she asks you for a favor say: “I will vote yes on proposition NO”
• Don’t think you’re getting lucky tonight. I have to wake up early to wash my hair and get my nails done
• Relax, or you’ll blow an o-ring
• I’m so glad you’re not funny because sometimes when I laugh I giggle like a school girl and it’s embarrassing
• Getting bumped by you is like being knocked over by a sparrow
• I can cook 3 dishes, 2 are the same thing
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I’m your favorite ass model’s favorite ass model
• Don’t make me start tossing charisma around. We don’t want you to lose your precarious grasp on your composure
• There are so many great things about you- I’ll let you know when I find them
• Relax, or you’re gonna hyperextend your ponytail/eyebrows/vocal chords/anus
• Don’t make me slap your hand like a schoolteacher
• My ex-girlfriend is a cage fighter. If she attacks you just play dead
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • You and my grandma should totally go pick up guys together
• If you were a cop and you arrested me I’d soooooo sweet talk my way out of custody
• Crackers and cheese are my bread and butter (also steak and lobster, Papas and beer, water and lemon)
• The voices inside your head are really starting to make sense to me now
• C’mon, don’t be a sea donkey/douche canoe/ douche copter/slapjack/ponce
• When she’s loud say: “Damn, you blew out my miracle ear”
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • If she spills her drink: “Hey, can we get a children’s sippy cup for this girl?”
• I have to tell you something. You’re soooooo (like you’re gonna say hot), not my friend
• When I was a kid I thought there was just one set of hiccups and it jumped from person to person. When I’d get them I’d always try to give them to someone else ASAP. You’d probably try to hold them for everyone wouldn’t you? Your heroism sickens me (sarcastic)
• Absolutely! ……Out of the question
• Take your cell phone, point it at her, and pretend to press buttons in frustration. When she says “What are you doing?” Say: “Grrr, this volume remote doesn’t work”
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • My favorite movie is Alien vs. Predator vs. Brown vs. The Board of Education
• You’re super sexy in a totally non-sexy way
• My dad can beat up your dad
• If you were in kissing school what grade would you get?
• Wow, you just looked at me like I told you I’m in school to become a burrito jockey.
• We should definitely hang out sometime maybe
• Have a picture of a super ugly woman on your phone that’s funny. Then say: “I applied Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com some age progression software to a photo of yours and I’m afraid I have some bad news” Then show her the picture.
• I promised my friends that I wouldn’t hang out with bad girls anymore.
• You’d look really good with a unibrow. Why’d you shave it off anyway?
• You might be a scrapper but I’ve got reach
• Na it’s cool, you don’t have to buy me a drink
• Songs will be written about you that will be sung around campfires for generations to come
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • If you were smart you’d know you’re dumb
• You know what, I can’t tell you that. If I tell you, I’ll have to……kiss you
• You’re not gonna try to get me into the back of your rape van are you? Does it have bubble windows and an image of a stallion on the side?
• You drive a Talivan don’t you?
• You must have been an extremely difficult child
• I can see your devil horns below your halo
• I bet you can put down vodka like a Russian cage fighter
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • Wow, you have really white teeth! No, wait, my mistake- the top front left one is the white one. So let me rephrase my comment, you have a really white tooth.
• “I like your heels. Wait, no, the right one is way better than the left one. So let me rephrase my statement: I like your heel.” (you’re seeing now that you can do this with many things that come in pairs or sets)
• “You’re passionate aren’t you?” Her: “Yes.” You: “Is that why you got your favorite poem tattooed on your butt?”
• Silence peasant!
• (Good to use if there are stage dancers. Point to one and say): You know, the owner
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com of this club saw me oiled up in my speedo dancing at a pool party last week. I was doing the cabbage patch. He immediately asked me to be a dancer for this club, but that’s not where I want my career to go. As America’s number one greased up speedo dancer I’m worth MUCH more than this place, you know what I mean?
• Something you should know about me: I usually skip the first date and go straight to the second. Hope you’re cool with that.
• (When she says something lame): I gotta go. It’s an emergency. I think I left the door open……….to my bathroom. OR, I think I forgot to turn off the dishwasher.
• I do all my own stunts
• You’re a handful Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • If I ever introduce you to my parents we have to say that you’re a mute and you can’t talk, ok?
• I’m not your father, that cute little act won’t work on me
• Your boyfriend obviously isn’t spanking you hard enough
• You’re so romantical
• What cha doing there, Pipsqueak?
• No, I will not be your tanning butler
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • The chances of you getting my phone number tonight are like the chances of shooting an arrow through a cheerio.
• You text so fast you’re liable to explode one of your knuckles (then imitate her knuckle exploding in a funny way)
• You’re cute when you lie
• You cut me deep, Jessica, real real deep
• When you’re talking to a girl and she happens to look at your chest area or your crotch area, wave your hands in front of whatever she’s looking at and say: “My eyes are up here, sweetie.” (like girls to do us when we look at their boobs)
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • You hurt me so bad. I feel like there’s blood swooshing in and out of my heart!
• I’m going to show you a picture of my dog/cat/bird. Just to warn you, this picture is so cute rainbows are going to shoot out of your ass when you see it.
• Batting those cute little eyes at me isn’t going to work.
• Too bad you’re not my type cuz you’re really really cute
• No calls after 1am, I get enough of those at it is
• When you become a crazy cat lady can I make a documentary about your downward spiral?
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • What attracts you way more? My left eye or my right eye?
• “Sure I’ll buy you a drink. But you have to do something for me first. Put your hand out….” Then grab her hand and spin her once like a dancer. “Very graceful, I’m shipping you to Russia tonight to join their ballet circuit. They pay me 10 rubles for every America dancer I send ‘em and you’re just what they’re looking for. C’mon let’s get a drink to celebrate.”
• My mom told me not to get mixed up with girls like you
• If she says: “So you let your mom tell you what to do?” Say: “Course. She got me dressed tonight, did my hair, she’s even
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com waiting outside in her soccer van to take me home. Don’t let that threaten you…”
• Don’t make me start having to call you Dumb Dumb
• When she’s talking about something boring pretend to fall asleep for a second then suddenly wake up and be like: “What what?”
• When shaking her hand pretend you’re going to bring it up to your mouth to kiss it and turn it at the last second and kiss your own hand instead. Or, at the last minute, turn her wrist like you’re looking for her watch and say “Do you have the time?”
• Your words are like a dagger into my crotch
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I have answers to questions you don’t even know to ask
• Stop undressing me with your eyes, you’re not getting lucky tonight
• (Good for guys who are at least in their 20s). You: “I just realized something.” Her: “What’s that?” You: “We definitely can’t hang out.” Her: “Why?” You: “Cuz we’re connecting pretty good right now, and with the way things are going we’re probably gonna end up making out like teenagers. Then, inevitably, you’re gonna turn psycho, light my locker on fire and throw my science project into the river. That’s just too much drama for me, we’re broken up now.”
• Oh you’re in school? What’s it like studying to become an ice cream man? Are the courses hard?
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • Sweetie, you have the attention span of a small monkey on hydroxicut
• My cooking is to die for. Then you can reincarnate and die for it again
• I feel your pain and I back it with a renewed sense of outrage
• How do you sleep at night…in your car?
• I’m so sure I’m practically deodorant
• You: “What’s your favorite color?” Her: “Green.” You: “WRONG! You just lost 10 points with me. She doesn’t even know her own favorite color, what a turn off.” (with a wry smile)
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • My favorite color is clear
• I've/you've been picked up so many times I'm/you're starting to grow handles
• I refuse to answer that on the grounds of I don't want to
• It's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun.
• Well I can't tell you what it means to lay these weary eyes on your beautiful beautiful face.
• If that's what you really believe, I'm afraid I can't help you with that.
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I'm gonna need Google translate on my phone if I'm gonna keep talking to you.
• Social awkwardness is often the curse of a genius
• Please don't text me more than 50 times in a row. My cell phone overheats and I have enough burns on my leg as it is.
• Getting old ain't for pussies
• So do you like ... weather?
• You: Do you like to travel? Her: Yes. You: Then travel over there… (as you playfully push her away)
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I don't know what to say to that (as you give a forehead slap type expression)
• Who are you, and where have you been my whole life?
• I got 6 numbers today. One more number and I would have had a complete phone number!
• You have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason. LISTEN.
• Turn to your friend and say: I come in peace. Her, not so much (as you point to the girl)
• I see that drink has put the pop in your giddyup
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I’m completely bald underneath my full head of hair
• Stifle yourself Edith
• I'm not going to have to rename you stalker Texas ranger, am I?
• You are a pocket sized Satan.
• It was a total disasterphy
• Confirmative
• When she says we’re not having sex: I’m glad you said that because I still have to ask my doctor if my heart is healthy enough for sex. Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • It feels like a lightning bolt touched the tip of my penis
• “You know what's great about you?” Her: “What?” You: “I don't know, it was a question...”
• I work at Hillshire Pharmaceuticals
• I’m cooking my semi famous spaghetti on Tuesday, it’s semi famous because it only comes out good half the time. You’re invited to experience my culinary half-genius.
• You just went up 10 points in my book. You’re now at negative 6. Congratulations.
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com • I’m gonna blow a hole in your argument so big that even I could fuck it (be careful who you say this to)
• I’m gonna hit you so hard you’ll die of starvation before you stop sliding (careful now, careful).
• Take that (Insert noun here) and shove it up your ass. But first let me move my dick out of the way (carefuuuuul).
• I’m gonna hit you so hard you’re gonna fly back up your mom’s vagina (just say this to your friends)
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com If you come up with any clever one liners like these let me know. If they’re good, we’ll toss them into the SNIPER. You can reach me through my website AlphaSymposium.com (where there are also tons of articles, videos, and seduction programs). -Mark Sing About the Author, Mark Sing:
Mark is the founder of “Alpha Symposium” — a men’s society focused on self development, seduction, and saying some funny ass sh*t to women. Mark has spent over 20 years practicing seduction methods again ... and again ... and again. Perfecting what most people would have called “good” YEARS AGO. He offers 1 on 1 coaching, seduction
Conversation Sniper AlphaSymposium.com programs, and a stockpile of free content that can be found on his website and Youtube channel. He is also the co-host of the popular “Unapologetic Man Podcast.” Feel free to visit check out some of Mark's content at the following links: Website, Youtube, Podcast Keep pushing!
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