ENTERTAINMENTpage 15 Technique • Friday, January 16, 2004 • 15

Two Bits’ New Bits Bull’s-eye in the sky! Our resident sage recounts his New Who knew that jumping out of a ENTERTAINMENT Year’s brouhaha in Baltimore. Does plane could bring home the gold for your celebration stack up? Page 18 Tech? Page 28 Technique • Friday, January 16, 2004

Purchase discounted Stiller in a rut, but Along Came Polly Ferst Center tickets By Jason Allen Staff Writer Take advantage of the Ferst Cen- ter’s “One Day Sale” for students After catching the ubiquitous trail- and staff. Students with a current er for Along Came Polly before near- BuzzCard can purchase two tickets ly every theatrical release during the for only $15 each. Faculty and staff past two months, my sensors told receive 50 percent off any two tick- me that Universal was uber-hyping ets. The sale lasts from 9 a.m. to 7 this latest effort from Ben Stiller p.m. Jan. 17. and Jennifer Aniston in order to Geek Love to play through Jan. 25 Along Came Polly Horizon Theater company adapts ttttt Katherine Dunn’s cult-classic nov- Starring: Ben Stiller, el into a stage performance of Geek Jennifer Aniston, Alec Love. The show runs through Jan. Baldwin 25 with ticket prices ranging from $12 to $15 cover for a lousy product. Simply highlight every single gag in a win- Forget to make ning preview and hope for the best Friday night plans? in the January film wasteland. I was wrong. The High Museum is hosting Stiller’s straitlaced Reuben Fef- Friday Jazz. A $15 admission price fer never lives on the edge because, lets you into the Robinson Atrium as a New York City risk analyst, he to eat, drink and mingle among the constantly calculates the odds of a Photo Courtesy Universal Studios more sophisticated in Atlanta. Of Along Came Polly centers around Reuben Feffer (Ben Stiller) and Polly Prince (Jennifer Aniston). Feffer is a risk course, smooth jazz dabbles the back- See Polly, page 16 analyst and as a result leads a rather mundane, sheltered existence. That is, of course, until Polly comes along. ground. Jake’s Westside offers more Peach drops on city, marks start of 2004 By Kathryn Shoemaker than just unusual ice cream Contributing Writer

By C. Jason Mabry make Jake’s an even better spot. The majority of Tech students Senior Staff Writer The eating area has a few hun- will spend four to five years for the dred books for those contemplating most part ignoring that they live in Jake’s Westside is the third Jake’s a quiet lunch or board games for the major city of the South. In an in Atlanta and a welcome addition socializing with friends. The new- effort to not go back on a New Year’s to west Midtown. Located a few est addition comes in the form of resolution to make the most of liv- blocks northwest of Tech, Jake’s of- free internet, devoid of annoying ing in the downtown area, it was fers a quality student atmosphere pop-ups, perfect for studying over a imperative to attend one of the larg- with unique ice cream flavors, a wide meal. est events of the Atlanta winter sea- range of breakfast, lunch and din- In the morning, Jake’s serves a son: the Peach Drop at Underground ner foods, books, games, free inter- variety of breakfast bagels, muffins Atlanta. net and of course, caffeine. and cereals to go with a wide selec- The massive party this year host- The café and ice cream parlor is a tion of caffeinated beverages (hot, ed 145,000 people for over 16 hours very friendly locale with a great, laid- cold and tea-based). The real food of revelry. It was televised in Atlanta back environment. The development comes out later in the day. The kitch- and even syndicated to over 30 cit- is fun, but not flashy, and feels like a ies across the Southeast. Besides be- college hangout. Unique touches See Jake’s, page 17 ing an event that those of us who leave Tech for other less populous cities might regret missing, the Peach Drop has everything a college stu- dent could want in a party: no cover charge, live entertainment and DJs, ease of attending and lots of college and mid-twenties people from schools like Tennessee and Clem- son (the Peach Bowl was the same week). Park on East Campus, prefera- bly ER51 (the old R01) and walk to the North Avenue Marta station. Though, late night Marta travel is usually not something that a 5’2” female should engage in, the in- creased police presence and the fact that 99 percent of the riders were Photo Courtesy Diane Kirkland going to the same place made for a Atlanta rings in the new year Georgia style by dropping a giant peach. The safe ride. The ride itself was worth annual ceremony at Underground never ceases to be a must-attend event. going out for, a medley of trendy cloths, with jeans, old football jer- of people. The main party is right on both sides and people milling seys and of course the occasional by the peach, though earlier in the around and talking among them. plastic hat. night the stage had the highest den- This is perhaps the prefect place to Underground is located at the sity. wait for midnight, where the music connection of the lines, but by fol- On a normal night Underground is background noise so you can talk, lowing the flow of the crowd, it was has the reputation of a rough crowd, but the atmosphere is full of all that By Peter Jensen / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS hard to get lost. After stepping out which is really too bad because Ken- is great about a low-key pub with- Although Jake’s is famous for their unique ice cream creations make sure of the terminal, the whole street ney’s Alley is awesome. Picture an to try a sandwich or salad while cozying up next to the inviting fireplace. seemed to come alive with crowds indoor atrium with bars and pubs See Peach, page 17 16 • Friday, January 16, 2004 • Technique ENTERTAINMENT

Q.E.D. Original Comic Strip

by Brian Lewis ([email protected])

of his existence, content to reside reason it’s a formula. It works if Stiller infuses insurance man room urinal pep talks. Hank Azaria Polly from page 15 safely in the suburbs with his beau- done properly. The ensuing court- Reuben with the same lovable charm turns on a hilarious English-man- tiful new bride, Lisa, played by De- ship of this onscreen pair follows he brought into other successful ro- gling foreign accent as the enor- catastrophe happening to him ev- bra Messing. Reuben’s 50-year plan mantic comedies such as There’s mously buff and scantily clad islander ery day. Avoid sidewalk grates. goes awry somewhere on day one of Something About Mary and Meet the who seduces Lisa on the beach. How- They’re not secure. Never eat the the marriage, when his wife is caught “His wife is caught Parents. ever, the standout Philip Seymour mixed nuts at the bar. You surely with her scuba diving instructor doing He’s mastered the well-inten- Hoffman steals every scene he’s in know that only one in six people the horizontal tango, swim flippers with her honeymoon tioned, sad sack that you want to see as Sandy Lyle, Reuben’s best friend wash their hands after using the re- flailing about in the air. scuba diving instructor succeed no matter how badly he’s and repeatedly self-described “wing- stroom. The bowl of cashews you’re A devastated Reuben begins to screwing up dinner or getting tongue- man.” Not usually one for the jok- nursing there contains the germs of rebuild his protective bubble but doing the horizontal twisted. Aniston doesn’t do much er-sidekick role, Hoffman embraces many, many, many customers who eventually runs into former mid- tango, swim flippers beyond channeling her free-spirit- every pratfall and offers wince-in- fingered through earlier. Think about dle-school classmate Polly Prince, ed Rachel Green from Friends, but ducing relationship advice. He grasps that. who is now a catering waitress. This flailing about...” apparently that gig’s worked out for past fame as a child star and Reuben places every major deci- spark from the past gives him hope, pretty nicely for her on NBC, and it alternates his wardrobe mostly among sion he makes into a computer soft- even if she is the total opposite of his fits perfectly here, as well. an extensive collection of crotch- ware program called the Riskmaster highly structured personality, and the expected script arcs, but I con- The impressive supporting cast hugging sweatpants. 3000. This tightly wound ball of the romantic comedy formula grad- stantly had a goofy grin on my face includes Alec Baldwin as Reuben’s Take a date. Expect a crowd- nerves has eagerly lined up the rest ually kicks into high gear. There’s a and often laughed out loud. blunt, insensitive boss prone to bath- pleasing good time. ENTERTAINMENT Technique • Friday, January 16, 2004 • 17

crowd had more patriotic feelings Peach from page 15 however, so while LDS POW Ron “Don’t You Forget About...” Simple Minds Young, Jr. threw the switch to let out the smoke. the peach drop, the crowd chanted By Erich Hansen images of big hair and the early days mainstream sound. It’s got great songs For those who like concerts, how- “U.S.A.” before the required count- Contributing Writer of Saved by the Bell. The band has like “Superman vs. Supersoul” and ever, the outdoor entertainment on down. After the drop, there were audibly improved by this era, in “Killing Andy Warhol.” The reis- the main stage was talented. The fireworks, and the migration for some The 1980s are back and better- which they released their hit “Don’t sues include: Life in a Day, Reel to crowd really responded to the acts back to Kenney’s Alley for refresh- sounding than ever, thanks to Vir- You (Forget About Me).” Real Cacophony, Empires and Dance, and DJs. The acts included the Temp- ments and more partying until 4 gin Records’ remastered re-releases As the years passed, Simple Minds’ Sons and Fascinations, New Gold tations Review, 7 Sharp 9 and The a.m. of 12 CDs by Simple Minds. sound gradually becomes more and Dream, Sparkle in the Rain, Once Drifters. If you do not have plans yet for Extremely popular in Europe, more ‘90s and progressively better. Upon a Time, Live in the City of When it comes to New Year’s New Year’s 2005, then the Peach Simple Minds is best known in Amer- With their 1998 release Neapolis, Light, Street Fighting Years, Good though, in the end it is all about Drop might be a great choice for at ica for their song “Don’t You (For- the band has much better lyrics and News From the Next fruit dropping. At midnight, per- least part of your New Year’s festiv- get About Me),” featured on the music. Comparing later releases with World and Ne- haps the only place to be is under ities. The only down side of going soundtrack for the movie The Break- the earlier material is like watching apolis. the giant, 800-pound peach. Be- downtown for New Year’s is you fast Club. The band was formed in the band grow from child to adult sides celebrating with the masses, might have better luck getting that the late ‘70s by Jim Kerr, Charlie in the span of a few hours. and the chance of being part of the New Year’s kiss in a less public and Burchill, Tony Donald and Brian Out of the 12 re-issues, there are event instead of watching it at home, darker dance-filled location. McGee. The name Simple Minds three worthy of recommendation. a cool perk of being out on the town was inspired by David Bowie’s “Jean The first is Live in the City of Light. at midnight is throwing confetti and For further information head to Genie.” This live CD has all the band’s hit not cleaning it up. The rest of the www.peachdrop.com The band has survived over 20 songs on it, including “Don’t You years since releasing their first al- (Forget About Me)” and “Alive bum, Life in a Day, in 1979 and and Kicking.” Empires and Dance nations to try a variety of choices. their latest, Neon Lights, in 2001. is another really solid, early re- Jake’s from page 15 While the food is not gourmet, it is Neon Lights, however, is not avail- lease. It’s got some good synth- en serves up a variety of salads, sand- fun, inspired and generally high able as a remastered reissue. The pop tunes with a progressive rock wiches and soups, most of which quality. band’s evolving sound can be heard feel. It’s also got some nice dis- are pretty good, and all of which are Of course, most people know over the 12 re-issues. The first few torted lyrics on “Twist/Run/Re- affordable. The Hard Core Chick- Jake’s for its ice cream. Among the albums sound like kids who just pulsion.” Lastly, Neapolis is a really en Sandwich is quite interesting, more popular varieties are flavors discovered the synthesizer. There is great modern album with a more consisting of a chicken breast mari- such as Brown Shugah Vanilla, Choc- a flavor of dance club music in these nated in cider and topped with pep- olate Slap Yo’ Mama, Coffee and CDs, especially Empires and Dance. per jack cheese and Granny Smith Donuts and Root Beer Float. Other Songs are fast-paced but with apples. It may sound bizarre, but odd flavors are more acquired tastes, poor lyrics—lyrics that are the apples lend a certain bite to the such as Mexican Hot Chocolate, sometimes so bad they have sandwich, and it comes together nice- Tiramisu Su Sudio and Nutter Nan- to be good. ly. The Redneck Reuben is quite ner Elvis. After hearing one of fun as well. It is comprised of turkey Egg Nog and Root Beer Float is their mid-’80s releas- and Swiss with slaw and spicy ranch certainly a combination worth try- es, first-year Materi- dressing. Other favorites include the ing. For the lactose intolerant, Jake’s als Science major Fried-Green Tomato BLT, the Old even offers dairy-free varieties. The Andrew Whitman Fashioned Thanksgiving Turkey shop also carries a multitude of sor- said, “This smells Sandwich and the Deviled Egg Sal- bet flavors for those in the mood, like the ‘80s.” ad Sandwich. and will create shakes as well. This statement is Jake’s offers a variety of salads, If good, simple food with a twist the most accurate as- all large and leafy. Soup is made is on the menu, it can be found at sessment of the mid- daily, and customers can order half Jake’s. Jake’s Westside is worth a dle sound of the band. soup and sandwich or salad combi- visit. The sounds conjure 18 • Friday, January 16, 2004 • Technique ENTERTAINMENT ...10101101 10101010101010101010101010101010101010101...... Two Bits Two Bits Man brings tidings of wisdom after fertilizing Baltimore Harbor to ring in 2004 I don’t remember where I was things happening around town, the sponding wrapper to the paper ma- the only one wearing a Nordstrom plans poste haste. on New Year’s 2000. Since it wasn’t picks so exciting and cool that they che condom we had just seen. sweater.” Stumbling, but too sober to be the end of the world, it just meant completely eclipse the bland offer- The thing that was most striking Don’t get the Two Bits Man falling, we left at 11:30 to go to the that pop radio would finally retire ings in the rest of the lifestyle sec- about this particular club was that it wrong. I have the utmost respect for harbor to see fireworks, but trage- “1999” by the Artist Formerly tion. was evenly divided into two fac- the artist who was able to so accu- dy—or more specifically, beer— Known as Prince (or whatever the Being that the Two Bits Man tions: regulars and Wash- rately able to recreate both male and struck at 11:40, and all of a sudden, hell he called himself in 1999). Like- and his Baltimore friend, the former ington Post readers. female anatomy on a yard-long scale. I realized I had two choices. Pee or wise, I don’t remember where I was Two Bits Mistress, are far too inter- For example, the They say that scale modeling is a die. Pee or die. on New Year’s 2001, 2002 or 2003 esting to subject their delicate sens- delicate art, and I’m sure that it’s Of course, this leads to much either. Probably parties, but I’m not es to the mundane, we just as delicate when you are in confusion, because the City of Bal- totally sure. naturally chose an Editor’s fact enlarging the model instead. timore was not courteous enough New Year’s 2004, on the other Pick. What a gifted artist! We were to place Porta-Potties around the hand, is a different story. Allow your After carding us at the indeed awed. harbor for the triumphant return of Two Bits Man to once again prove door for our will-call tick- Though the club was quite the partygoers’ spirits. I looked at that truth is indeed stranger than ets, we went in to hear the visually stimulating, the Two the harbor and proposed that it was fiction. After all, it’s not every day local band that was adver- Bits Man and the Former the obvious place to go, but no. that you see a death metal band at a tised. As soon as we crossed Two Bits Mistress were “Don’t disrespect my city,” she punk club in Baltimore with larger- the threshold we were greet- still overly enthused scolded, and we hobbled about un- than-life paper mache genitalia and ed with what was obviously about our surroundings. til we found a building that was still condoms suspended from the ceil- acoustic molding, because Fortunately, the Former open. With a fast beeline for the ing with fishing line. That is how I everyone knows that a good Two Bits Mistress’s young- crowded restroom, we waited and spent New Year’s Eve this year, and punk club should maintain er brother drove, so we did finally made it out at 11:57. that is why I won’t forget it. the same level of fidelity that the obvious thing; we pro- Midnight came, fireworks were The day started like any other you would find in other fine ceeded to get drunk. shot and this was another year in New Year’s, other than the fact that music establishments such as Of course, New Year’s Eve which we were all still alive. What I was in Baltimore for the first time Carnegie Hall and the Syd- is one of those times when should you take home from this in my entire life. What do you wan- ney Opera House. free market economics truly story, other than birdcage liner, of na do? I dunno. What do you wanna However, such was not the earns its stripes in a bar. The course? How about a public service do? Oh, I dunno. Anything should case. Upon further examina- bar has the supply, and they announcement? work. This went back and forth un- tion, we saw other items sus- can keep nudging the price up Millions will choose to drink on til we had the bright idea to visit the pended from the ceiling, including, girl with pink, spiked hair and fish- thanks to that heightened demand. New Year’s Eve, but if you do, please Washington Post website to look for but certainly not limited to, a paper nets looked just fine in this club. Each one of us, thirty bucks into a drink responsibly; locate the bath- Editors’ Picks for swingin’ hotspots mache condom. Being the sharp We, on the other hand, joined with tab, was still sober enough to realize room before you start. This mes- around DC. Techies that we are, we quickly sur- the other faction. The Former Two that we had spent thirty bucks on sage has been paid for by your Metro Bear in mind that the Editor’s mised that the square of acoustic Bits Mistress said, “Ya know, I may booze and could still stand up. Shame- Atlanta Two Bits Man, who until Picks are the crème de la crème of moulding was actually the corre- be slightly overdressed. I think I’m ful! Obviously, we needed to change next week wishes you a happy 2004. ENTERTAINMENT Technique • Friday, January 16, 2004 • 19 Theme Crossword: Fiscal Limitations By Robert Zimmerman 76.Household gods 8.Box spring support United Features 77.Affleck or Kingsley 9.Hoyden 78."Ñ Ñ Yankee Doodle dan- 10.Command for Fido ACROSS dy ..." 11.Forelimb 81.Patient's problem 12.Appurtenances 1.Ledge 82."Mermaids" star 13.Ristorante fare 6.Brume 84.Jai Ñ 14.Ñ lazuli 10.Long narrative 87.Grandmothers 15.Of fleecy beasts 14.Cut from (with "off") 89.Part 3 of quip: 5 wds. 16.Twinges 17.Wood for chests 94.Seven: prefix 20.Ate 18.Woody's son 95.Ñ Pradesh 21.Humdinger 19.Fashion 96.Underwater plant 27.Buckle relative 21.Molten material 97.Lab burner 28.Consumers 22.Asian palm 98.Shindig 30.Let have 23.Rich, crumbly soil 100.Seed vessel 34.Indians of the Yucatan 24.Teacher of Stradivari 102.Sub Ñ (in secret) 35.Place of congregation 25.Ñ Ñ arms 104.Auricle 36." The Love Boat" locale: 26.Start of Spike Milligan 105.Kind of triangle two words quip: 3 wds. 109.Wedding announcment. 38.Decorate 29.Circus family word 40.Director Ñ Craven 31.Bark 111.Ñ -and-aft 41.Old Celtic priests 32.Call for help 113.Moocher 43.Cry akin to "Eureka!" 33.Looks over 115.End of the quip: 3 wds. 45.Santa Ñ 34.PC alternative 120.Ornamental flower 47.More skilled 37.Blowgun projectile 121.Absolute 49.Bum 39.An evergreen 123.Actress Ñ Sorvino 50.Harmonize 41.Art movement 124.Play, in a way 51.Chops 42.Old Mogul capital 125.Digits 52.To be: Lat. 44.Marsh bird 126.Swiftly 54.In unison: 2 wds. 46.Brings to maturity 127.Resembling a wing 55.Programming bug 48.Recess 128.Purposeful 56.Silly 53.Part 2 of quip: 5 wds. 129.Print measures 63.Ñ Bysshe Shelley 57.Divas' offerings 130.Slumgullion 65.Consumed 58.Rubaiyat author 131.Lovett or Waggoner 66.Labor leader Ñ Chavez 59.Person of importance 132.Hippodrome 68."Wheel of Fortune" co- © 2003 United Features Syndicate, Inc. 60.Moos host 61.Nordic airline DOWN 70.Exhausted 85.Albanian money 103.Awn 116.Kind of surgeon 62.Rhea's Roman counter- 71.Private eye 86.Mimicking one 105.Malice 117.Perry's creator part 1.Grifter's specialty 72.Weight unit 88.Peer Gynt's mother 106.Shot in billiards 118.Bankrupt 64. Tore 2.Hoagie 74.Hacks 90.Derisive remarks 107.April baby 119.Village People hit 67.Disinclined 3.Perfect place 75.Field measure 91.Chart 108.Youths 122.Expert 69.Old laborer 4.TV's "Cagney & Ñ" 77.What's to eat: three words 92.Town in Maine 110.One of the Brontes 71.Diving birds 5.Worn away 79.Food from heaven 93.Derby town near London 112.Lab compound 73.Fragrant ointment 6.Inopportune 80."Ñ Ñ is Born" 99.Loos or Bryant 114.Coup d'Ñ 74.The friendly ghost 7.Branding or shooting 83.Roofs 101.Cutaneous 115.Zoomed See Solutions, page 27