Ensiferum

this boat, and when it doesn’t seem like barley, malt and hops and no one on board Oktoberfest, it seems like Wacken. It’s so wants anything to do with imitations of much so that Sodom – playing their either. Similarly, Agent Steel are using first shows with new drummer/lucky sod, guest vocalists after John Cyriis’ last SCORE FOR SABATON Markus Freiwald – and Rage – who might minute departure. Circumstances dictate, have the catchiest songs in all of metal but seeing replacement singers reading – introduce tunes in their native tongue. from crib sheets kills all momentum. A roar emerges from some, while everyone Ensiferum are a hit with the hot tub else stands around confused. Blind drunks but possess all the fury of a marble Guardian may or may not address their in a wet paper bag, while Epica highlight national posse similarly, but we don’t stick a problem plaguing many female-fronted around to find out as their power metal bands; that the fronting female rarely ever is indeed enjoyable but so anti-septic seems excited about what she’s doing. and glossy they unwittingly spawn a new Despite singing like a siren and being epica sub-genre: controlled environ-metal. Other absolutely gorgeous, Simone Simons’ disappointments include Unleashed, performance is so blasé that you find they can still deliver tight militaristic EPICA who turn up without founding father yourself wondering if she wants to be rhythms and live energy; their pre- Johnny Hedlund. Guitarist Tomas Olsson here. We don’t, so we navigate ourselves ‘Obsolete’ material still rules, despite the Amon Amarth covers bass and vocal duties and good elsewhere. run they’ve taken at besmirching their on ‘em for not cancelling, but Unleashed Over the course of two performances, legacy; they can make an abomination like of Death Angel during a guitar malfunction without Hedlund is like beer without Fear Factory illustrate the following: ‘Edgecrusher’ sound decent live; Burton in ‘And Then There Were None’ and missing Bell’s voice is shot to shit, consistently his cue back into the song. out-of-tune with clean vocals cracking like As the land lubbers work on their Ensiferum a pubescent adolescent and Dino Cazeras by attendees to get time off work and get two sets on different stages and days sea legs – and we’re sure those women should never attempt harmony vocals. Ever. to the Miami cast-off point while deciding with performances running from 10am to wearing inappropriately high heels suffered By now Terrorizer aches for blast beats, what black t-shirts to wear. Like ‘The A- 4am and what better way to start than a snapped ankle or two – Destruction but save the occasional t-shirt, there is no Team’s John ‘Hannibal’ Smith proclaimed, with Exodus, so the revved up throng kill it in the Spectrum. A surprisingly dense grind on this boat, so watching Saxon “I love it when a plan comes together”, can pummel themselves silly, requiring and clear PA has ‘Eternal Devastation’ bassist Tim “Nibbs” Carter’s hair twirl in and regardless of the headaches, it’s all copious amounts of painkilling alcohol for and ‘’ classics sounding triple-time as the UK legends impeccably noticeably before the triptych of classics coming together and everyone involved is the bumps and bruises obtained during pristine and gritty. The Germans play like air the ‘Wheels Of Steel’ and ‘Strong from their ‘Forbidden Evil’ debut. Voivod happier than pigs in shit; no one more than ‘Bonded By Blood’, ‘Beyond The Pale’ and they’re at a festival in a farmer’s field, Arm Of The Law’ must suffice. stick to what they know best. With Blacky the folks at Royal Caribbean. Considering the discography stops in-between. Granted, bitch about not having enough room Also cranking out classic albums are firmly re-entrenched and the über-talented the amount of alcohol sold, the company the thrash titans are treating their “I’m (though they play the main stage later on), Testament, who present heart-stopping Dan Mongrain on guitar and sounding has likely found itself in the black for the on a fucking boat” moment with the same break out a new one, ‘Hate Is My Fuel’, and and seamless renditions of ‘The Legacy’ exactly like Piggy, they basically adhere rest of the fiscal quarter – if not the year – vacation attitude as everyone else; cue Lee are totally entertaining throughout. and (most of) ‘The New Order’ while Chuck to the first six albums and are sublime as it’s reported that the 70,000 Tons Cruise Altus cavorting backstage with members There are hundreds of Germans on Billy takes air-guitaring-on-his-half-mic- perfection. When ‘Ripping Headaches’ has set the company record for week-long stand to new heights. Someone give this blasts out and Blacky lunges into the cruise alcohol sales – before the boat has man an actual guitar. crowd, it’s 1987 all over again. even left the Port of Miami! BLIND GUARDIAN Týr give not only an impressive showing Rounding things out is Amon So, the Majesty Of The Seas is of folky metal and a re-jigged Irish drinking Amarth’s second set on the Open Air TESTAMENT transformed into a floating metal-fest. song – like anyone needs another reason to Stage; a surreal display as the wind plays Three stages are constructed; the main drink – but display a rustic and hilarious havoc with their smoke machine and t’s amazing when you think about it; stage is in the Chorus Line Theatre, a sense of humour. Their light-hearted set contrasts the synchronised headbanging. the amount of scheduling, planning, place obviously more accustomed to Las perfectly complements the warmth, the sea That beard with a man attached to it coordinationI and logistical two-stepping Vegas-type productions. A second smaller breeze and the sun-burnt European flesh. (vocalist Johan Hegg) has everyone roaring required to organise what amounts to three stage is in a ‘70s discotheque replica Forbidden also take to the pool deck in metallic bliss, drunken stupor and separate venues on a luxury cruise ship called the Spectrum, while the Open Air and are at a crossroads promoting a new soon facing the crashing reality that the audrey dujardin taking 41 bands, a sold-out complement of Stage is on the pool deck, where a stage for fogies hungry for old material. awesome time at sea is coming to a close

pics: 2000 fans from 49 countries on a four-day is built at one end and the “pit” area is They make the mistake of playing one of and the regular trappings of daily life are jaunt through the Gulf Of Mexico. Not to created by draining and covering one of the best songs they’ve ever written (‘Step just over the horizon. mention the time management finagling the swimming pools. Each band plays By Step’) early on, and the intensity dips KEVIN STEWART-PANKO

80 Terrorizer #207 Terrorizer #207 81