Why Conservatives Are Funnier Than Liberals
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If you have no sense of humour, stop reading now f all the literary thin. Not surprising, perhaps, since few arguing that liberal and socialists are Ogenres, humour is of C2C’s contributors are professional congenitally humorless (Exhibit A: Liz the hardest. Especially humorists, and all of them know how May) because they wake up every morning political humour. Just hard it is to find and tickle readers’ funny wondering how to make a horrible world ask Green Party leader bones. perfect, while conservatives greet every Elizabeth May after her But we persevered, and after some fresh news from hell with a let’s-make- epic fail at the national press gallery cajoling, wheedling and begging, the story the-best-of-it shrug. dinner. Or the late Alberta premier Jim pitches started to come in. As sometimes If anyone knows how comedically Prentice, after his “math is hard” jibe happens in these circumstances, the bankrupt our political culture is, it is at his successor Rachel Notley in a pitches led the theme in a new direction. two-time winner of the televised election debate. Or deposed Instead of being purely humorous, several Terry Fallis, rookie Alberta NDP MLA Deborah Drever, of the proposals were for commentaries Leacock Award for literary humour. He after the skeletons of some lame jokes about political humour, in the context of has almost single-handedly kept the art spilled out of her online closet. Or Justin our humorless times. Happily, this made of political satire alive in Canada and Trudeau, after his self-immolating side- for a no less funny magazine overall. we highly recommend his novels as well splitter about Russia invading Crimea in And really, political humour is as his piece in this magazine lamenting a snit over losing Olympic hockey gold. pointless unless it makes a point – the the dearth of humour in contemporary Or Jimmy Wang, the aspiring Ottawa high sharper the better – as all the great political advocacy. If you find that a bit school student council president whose political humorists and satirists and gloomy, then turn to John Robson’s tribute candidacy was scotched after a mildly off politicians with a comedic touch have to Mike Duffy in the voice of Robert colour witticism in a campaign speech. always known. So brace yourselves, for Service. Read it out loud to your family at Or Bassem Youssef, the brave Egyptian there is some fairly pointed political the dinner table. They will snort chunks. satirist who quit his TV show last year out humour in this magazine. It is designed to There is much, much more than I of fear for his family’s safety. prick sensitivities, puncture pomposities, can recount here, including Funny Tales Or just ask me, after an attempt at a and poke fun at the powers that be. In From Campaign Trails, among them some light-hearted, self-deprecating send-up of the immortal words of the Scott’s Coulee nuggets from the memories of 87-year- the Alberta election result in C2C Journal Outlaw, a scurrilous Alberta rag that a few weeks ago precipitated a deluge of published vicious and hilarious anti- old Ted Byfield, whose storytelling gifts angry, profane emails. Ouch! Conservative invective in the late 19th are as witty and pithy as ever. Maybe the All this was inspiration for the theme century, we offer “malice towards all and funniest political anecdote in the book, of the Summer 2015 edition of C2C. charity to none.” though, comes somewhat unexpectedly Our objective was to rebut oppressive As Peter Shawn Taylor writes in our from the pen of Preston Manning. Like political correctness, redeem the lost art opening essay,* the funniest political actor most politicians with an ounce of instinct of political satire, remind people that a in Canadian history was our founding for self-preservation, he mostly kept his healthy democracy knows how to laugh prime minister, Sir John A. Macdonald. sense of humour under wraps when he at itself, and give our readers something He could slay a rival with a flick of his was actively navigating the minefields to relieve the Summertime Blues. tongue, sometimes literally, as occurred of democracy in the Age of Outrage. When we first put out the call for when barfed up a quart of whiskey at a In retirement, he cut loose with one of submissions, the working title was candidate’s debate and blamed it on the the funniest speeches we’ve ever read, “Great Canadian Political Humour.” One nauseating content of his opponent’s reprinted in this edition of C2C for your wag wished us luck, saying he hoped it speech. enjoyment and edification. would turn out longer than the Book of Macdonald was the first in a long line German Humour. (Here I feel compelled of mirth-making Canadian conservative Paul Bunner is the editor of C2C Journal. to apologize to all readers of German politicos and writers, including Stephen ancestry, which tells you something about Leacock and John Crosbie (and Rex *The stories in the Summer 2015 edition will be how thin-skinned we are these days.) And Murphy and Mark Steyn in our time), posted on the C2C website one at a time every few indeed, the initial response was pretty notes Philip Cross in an impolite polemic days over the month of June. C2C Journal’s advisory council: Media Inquiries Peter McCaffrey, Mark Milke, Andrea Mrozek and Kathleen Email: [email protected] Welsch © Copyright 2015. Canadian Journal of Ideas Inc. All Rights Reserved. For permission to reproduce an article, please contact the editors. Canadian Journal of Ideas Inc. the editors, or the advisory board members. Website: www.c2cjournal.ca The views expressed in C2C do not necessarily reflect those of C2C, Editor: Paul Bunner Cover art by Mary Lee Bunner Associate Editor: Kathleen Welsch 2 Volume 9, Issue 2 Contents _ Summer 2015 A toast to Canada’s first and funniest prime Funny tales from campaign trails ............... 17 minister .............................................................4 Just about everybody who’s ever worked on an election by Peter Shawn Taylor campaign has at least one funny story to tell about The humourless political landscape we call Canada their experience. Some of them are so funny they was not always this way. Our founding Conservative become the stuff of legend. The Summer 2015 edition Prime Minister Sir John A. Macdonald, who was roundly of C2C Journal offers a compilation of such stories, pilloried in the media as a drunk and a racist on the occasion of his 200th birthday some already legendary, some destined to be, including a few from such veteran earlier this year, was also the funniest politician our country has ever known. political campaigners and campaign-watchers as Preston Manning and Ted Despite a life marred by personal tragedies, Macdonald remained a razor-sharp Byfield. wit and irrepressible jokester throughout his career. Peter Shawn Taylor has assembled a hilarious assortment of his greatest puns, putdowns, and pranks. Caution: This article defends privileges ... 19 by Fred Litwin Why conservatives are funnier than liberals ..............................................................7 Political correctness has always been a little funny, in the same way that watching a child’s tantrum by Philip Cross can be funny. Unlike kids’ tantrums though, political When Pierre Trudeau was asked how far he would go correctness never goes away. It just seems to get in imposing martial law during the October Crisis, his sillier – and more sinister – over time. The old debates over things like feminine famously insouciant reply was, “Just watch me.” Bada- honorifics and words to describe physical and mental handicaps seem quaint by bing. When Ronald Reagan was rehearsing a national radio address announcing comparison to today’s bizarre disputes over race and gender. They’re funnier than expanded religious freedoms, he famously tweaked the opening line to announce ever in Fred Litwin’s compilation of modern PC stories for C2C, but more ominous “we begin bombing [Russia] in five minutes.” Bada-boom. The contrast illustrates than ever too, in their implications for free expression, tolerance, social harmony, Philip Cross’s argument that conservatives are intrinsically funnier than liberals. and humour itself. Always have been and always will be, because conservatives accept human imperfectability, while liberals are obsessed with fixing it. Explaining the Beaver to the Eagle ........... 22 The indictment of Mike Duffy ..................... 10 by Preston Manning by John Robson In 2003 Preston Manning was recently retired from a decade in federal politics and free to speak candidly Senator Mike Duffy may go to jail and he may bring about his experiences. On the occasion of the 34th down the Conservative government. He may eventually annual Leacock Luncheon at the McGill University be judged the single most important cause of the homecoming in Montreal, he did just that in a speech that did full justice to abolition of the Canadian Senate. His name may join the event’s namesake. Revealing a comedic talent rarely glimpsed by Canadians “carpetbaggery” and “featherbedding” as a new synonym for gross opportunism during his political career, Manning left the audience in stitches with a speech and petty corruption. But even if none of that happens, his place in Canadian explaining Canada’s unique political culture to Americans. An abridged version history is assured, because C2C contributor John Robson has written an epic appears in this edition of C2C Journal. doggerel poem in the great comedic literary tradition of Robert Service that elevates Mike Duffy to the status of Dan Magrew and Sam McGee. Maybe even May Day! May Day! Alberta elects the higher, because the only thing fictional about Mike is where he lives.