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hat s nside his eek Editor/Publisher W ’ I T W ? Steven J. Schultz 4 Sea Lion Kerfuffle; Beav-Sci; Be Like Assoc. Editor Pastega Johnny Beaver 5 As the State Turns; Multicultural Center Entertainment Editor Kleenex Alert Ygal Kaufman 6 Who Are Oregon’s Recognized Political Words Tax Return Preparation Parties? Johnny Beaver Kiki Genoa Personal • Corporate • Estate • More! 7 Corvallis to Coast Trail Update; Do’s Sidney Reilly John M. Burt and Drone’ts; Old Birdcage Liners Abbie Tumbleson Kyra Blank Since 1973 8 Wedding Savvy: Tricks of the Trade Stevie Besswanger Ygal Kaufman 10 Calendar Design 757-1945 12 8 Days Bobbi Dickerson 316 SW Washington 14 Entertainmental Calendar Corvallis Nathan Hermanson License 2250C

Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339 541.766.3675 | corvallisadvocate.com editor calendar @corvallisadvocate.com story ideas } ads The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed that not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published 308 SW Madison Ave 541.754.4255 www.gretzdesigns.com materials. Submissions become the property of The Corvallis Advocate. We welcome submissions, but reserve the right to edit for clarity and length. Corvallis Advocate | 3 By Kiki Genoa Sea Lions Attack in Astoria Port Commissioners Discuss Airy Counterstrike ordes of hungry sea lions resulting from global warming. Hhave taken over fishermen’s docks at the Port of Astoria’s East Despite the efforts of End Mooring Basin. Male sea environmentalists to devise a lions, emerging in the thousands humane method of removing to feed on salmon climbing sea lions from the area, many Columbia River fish ladders, have Astorian officials are at their become a major threat to both wits’ end. The National Marine the endangered salmon species Fisheries Service’s Marine and the livelihoods of commercial Mammals Protection Act of 1972 fishermen. is to blame for the lack of control By Johnny Beaver over the animals, argued port On Jan. 5, the Sea Lion commissioners. Linn-Benton Backwash Committee of the Port The ‘Be More Like Mario Commission of Astoria met to Going up against the feds is costly, Pastega’ Edition address the growing problem. especially when the Astorian port has already lost money due ast Saturday Corvallis saw the grand opening of the Though county commissioners Lnew Samaritan Pastega Regional Cancer Center. and both private and commercial to increased maintenance costs There was a harp, free food, and of course also a whole fishermen stuck to a vehemently at the East Basin. Committee ton of paperwork, staff, gizmos, etc. designed to fight anti-sea lion agenda, a contingent members discussed alternatives purchase of two “air dancers” to be the horrible disease. A sight I’m personally quite happy from the Sea Lion Defense to suing the government, some placed on the docks to drive away to see, a lot of the thought into the design of this place seems to promote the quality of living for the patients Brigade was also present. of which included direct action the sea lions. Usually seen at car being treated there. With many long-term care facilities against the sea lions themselves. dealership sales, these giant, air- across the nation dropping the hammer on their life Defenders called on the rest of the According to a Jan. 6 report propelled, flopping tube figures enrichment programs, this approach is a breath of fresh representatives to take pity on from The Daily Astorian, one will act as sea lion scarecrows. air. Though... I am confused about something. What the sea lions, which have moved representative’s simple advice was the hell does any of this have to do with pasta? When in on human territory by no fault So far, beach balls, paintball guns, searching for “Pastega,” I found a man who did many to “Kill ‘em.” fantastic things for the people around him during his of their own. Though no longer electrified mats, and fake orcas lifetime... but no sign of pasta whatsoever. I sense a present on the endangered species A second meeting was held on have all failed Astorians in scaring CHINESE MEDICINE greater conspiracy at work. list, these pinnipeds have been Jan. 19, and there, a possible away the sea lions, but committee acupuncture LBCC has been discussing possible incremental tuition forced out of the ocean and into solution was reached. The members are hopeful that their air herbal medicine hikes after a three-year period with no such changes to our rivers due to climate changes Port Commission approved the dancers will be a success. dietary counseling the cost of credits. What is there to really say? It sucks? bodywork It’s the cost of freedom, baby. Those European countries By Sidney Reilly reflexology that federally fund higher education... not as free. Holy cupping sh*t, I finally understand that “freedom ain’t free” thing. Opioid Abuse Continues Katy Willis, LAc By the way, did you notice we caught the college not health insurance accepted being entirely truthy with us again? OK, I don’t pay New Policies Offer Hope, But Not Much Else attention to our website and Facebook updates over the pioid use and abuse has showed progress, but not enough,” week, either. 541-602-8172 Oexploded across the country in said Dr. Melissa Weimer in a On Jan. 19, a man in Albany fired a few shots through the the last two decades. New research press release. She’s an assistant wall of his friend’s house with a pistol. The explanation? There were imaginary people bothering him. The from OSU, in conjunction with professor of medicine at Oregon word imaginary was actually from a quote, so what Oregon Health Sciences University Health & Science University I’m wondering is... why would you shoot at imaginary (OHSU), attempts to quantify the who worked on the study. She people? He was busted by the sheriff’s office and cited effects of the policies put in place continued, “We’d rather have for mischief, reckless endangerment, and possession of to combat this rise. And the results good ol’ methamphetamine. And then of course they a higher success rate. But in released him. aren’t quite anything to celebrate. some cases we’re dealing with a generation of patients who have Everyone probably knows this by now, but they caught Opioids are drugs which act on been prescribed high-dose opioids the two shovel-face %^$#@! from Forest Grove that shot the brain in a manner similar of up to 17 times in places like and killed that man outside of the Corvallis Shari’s. for many years.” to opiates (like morphine) but Washington. The Lebanon Log... Special Edition: Lebanon newspaper are usually not actually derived The new study from OSU and Part of the problem stems from The Lebanon Express has asked for community input on from opium. Among the most whether or not the city should change its logo. So far OHSU, which followed 514 patients being overprescribed the there have been just 49 votes, perhaps because nobody popularly abused of the opioids patients who had been prescribed drugs in the 80s with little to no actually posted the logo or any information as to why are oxycodone and hydrocodone. opioids, showed that tapering warning of the dangers. Now many a change might be up for debate. Still, I’m eagerly Abuse of these drugs in some patients off the drugs and of these chronic pain patients are awaiting the outcome! places (particularly in the Pacific increased counseling measures multiple decades into a constant The Oregon State Bomb Squad was called out to Northwest, the Midwest, and the did show improved results in Lebanon on Jan. 19 after a woman dropped off a box regimen of the drugs. South) have led to them being getting patients off the dangerous of toys to Goodwill that contained a “gag gift.” Said gift dubbed “hillbilly heroin” and the was a smoke bomb (firework) that was painted red and drugs, usually prescribed for pain Weimer went so far as to describe had “dynamite” written on it in pen. Procedure dictates results are stunning: a 600% rise medication. But it wasn’t as much the opioid abuse problem in this how this was handled, but... I think it’s safe to laugh in their use across the country in as had been hoped for. country as an “epidemic.” pretty hard right about now. the last 20 years, and an increase in opioid overdose-related deaths “The approach used in this study Sobering news indeed. 4 | Corvallis Advocate By Johnny Beaver Authentic Italian Meats & Cheeses As the State Turns Power Finally, Power Predictably, Wolf Boner, and Indecent Exposure Oregon Attorney General shows him how it’s done as he Natalia & Does Thing Within Her Power parachuted through a red, white, Ellen Rosenblum, who you may and blue cloud of smoke, landing Cristoforo’s know from roles such as the on the back of a Clydesdale. 351 NW Jackson St. #2 • Corvallis Oregon Attorney General, has Several other officials had also 541.752.1114 made the choice to demote the made entrances, but nobody really Alchemist Best Sandwich Shop Winner state Department of Justice’s cared because they just kind of Advocate Selection as a Hidden Foodie Find criminal division chief counsel. parked somewhere and walked up. Wine Classes • Party Trays The poor bastard, who goes by After some hand-waving and a the name of Darin Tweedt, has jumping high five that coincided held the position for the last five with some fireworks and 1,000 years. Why was he booted? It’s a UPCOMING doves being released, they publicly mYsTeRy! endorsed Sanders’ bid. AT-THE- EXPENSE- Only... it probably has something EVENTS Several hundred of Portland’s OF-OTHERS to do with the fact that his Get Smart 610,000 citizens attended. MEDIA! JAN. Presented by Santiam Christian HS criminal division is currently being 28 - 30 investigated regarding claims that Stage adaptation of the 60’s television Oregon Hits the Big Time Wolf Update 7:30pm show by Mel Brooks. Comedy. they illegally surveilled Oregon All of you know Hoarders, right? Remember back in the day Tickets $ 12-14 citizens using the Black Lives Where people help those with when there was at least one JAN. Skylight by David Hare Matter hashtag. Whoops! Presented by Majestic Reader’s Theatre compulsive hoarding disorders uninteresting wolf update a 31 while viewers sit back and say A liberal and a conservative might fall week? Me, too. I miss those days. 3pm & 7pm in love, but could they live together? Portland ‘Feels the Bern’ things like, “Oh my God, Becky... Drama. “OR-16 was spotted with a boner The recently held Bernie Sanders like, so gross!” Oh, you don’t Tickets $ 10-12 for President rally held in approaching some random wolfette watch that crap? Well, I guess JAN. OPEN AUDITIONS from Idaho.” Damn, that was Alice in Wonderland and downtown Portland was nothing you won’t care when I tell you 31 if not star-studded. Why, the exciting. So, let’s check in on the Through the Looking Glass that... ORGANIZATIONAL THROUGH Open Auditions for our Big Spring Portland City Commissioner Oregon wolves and see what’s up! Production. Based on the books by Lewis PROFESSIONALS FROM FEB. Steve Novick came out, arriving SALEM, HOOD RIVER, AND Carroll. Adapted for the stage by Adrian Things have been going well. 2 Mitchell. in his 1996 Lamborghini Diablo CORVALLIS WERE INVITED Children’s Auditions: Jan. 31 • 2pm-5pm (in canary yellow), dressed in a TO WORK ON AN EPISODE! Right on. Well. It’s a start. Maybe Adult Auditions: Feb. 1 & 2 • 7pm suit made of material and wearing HOLY CRAP!!!!! OH MY someone will complain about FEB. OPEN AUDITIONS shoes that had soles. As people GAAAWWWWDDDD... WE’RE a wolf eating their chicken or 1 & 2 Majestic Reader’s Theatre were reeling from his entrance, FINALLY ON THE MAP OF something soon. Always look on Open Auditions for the March - May Milwaukie Mayor Mark Gamba NATIONAL ENTERTAINMENT- the bright side of life. ::whistles:: 7:30pm Reader’s Theatre Productions. FEB. The Columbia Trio 5 Presented by Majestic Chamber Music By John M. Burt Three versatile musicians with rich 7:30pm solo, orchestral and chamber music backgrounds. A new premiere ensemble Multicultural Center Robbery based in Eugene OR. Tickets $10-15 and Recovery Visit www.majestic.org for more info. Staff Touched by Community Response For tickets call: 541-738-7469 he Corvallis Multicultural days more than 14 businesses TLiteracy Center held a holiday responded with donations of $100 bazaar as a fundraiser. The money each, followed by a Second Saturday University Cuts was stolen before they had even benefit concert in their honor and Located in the M.U. on campus tallied it all, but Center Director a Dine Out sponsored by Block 15, Dee Curwen estimated that more Curwen described the Center’s staff than $2,000 in cash and checks was as being “very, very touched.” lost. Best Cuts in The Multicultural Literacy Center The community quickly rallied exists to help Corvallis residents Corvallis! around the Center. “Sometimes you learn about other cultures (their wonder who knows you’re out there,” music, their clothing, their cooking, Curwen said, but when the Corvallis their stories) and share their own. Fades, Line-ups, Chamber of Commerce sent out an email asking members to contribute You can visit them at 128 SW 9th ROTC Cuts & More! a collective $1,000 and within Street or www.cmlcenter.org. Corvallis Advocate | 5 By John M. Burt Pick a Party and Other Factoids Your Guide to Oregon’s Recognized Political Parties

ou have more than two choices of Representatives to write our Yfor a political party. In Oregon, laws (as in Nebraska). Their party there are three “major” parties emblem is an American buffalo. which got at least 5% of the vote, They’re another among the and five “minor” parties which got 1.7% of “other” parties, but their at least 1% of the vote in the last support helped keep Jeff Merkley election. in the U.S. Senate and Peter DeFazio in the House, and they are At last count, there were 2,186,971 currently seeking to put campaign registered voters in Oregon. If you finance reforms on the ballot in have just turned 18, or have just moved to Oregon, you aren’t one of Oregon. (www.progparty.org) them, but you can be, even if you The Republican Party, the are a former convicted felon, or self-described “Grand Old Party” mentally impaired but not legally is one of Oregon’s major parties, incompetent. Show an Oregon with 29.9% of Oregon’s voters. It driver’s license, a paycheck stub, has a long history, going back to a utility bill, a bank statement, the years before the Civil War. a government document, or Its biggest victory in recent years proof of eligiblity under the Uniformed and Overseas Citizens’ has been gaining control of both Absentee Voting Act or the Voting houses of Congress. Their party Accessibility for the Elderly and policy is “limited government, lower Handicapped Act. If all else fails, taxes, and personal responsibility.” the three classified as “major” just provide the last four digits individuals responsible. They would Their literature says they favor parties. Their party platform of your Social Security number. also eliminate public funding for “accountability in spending... endorses labor rights, access Oregon isn’t one of those states education, believing private schools protecting our environment... and to health care, education, tax where they try to make voting would fill the void. In short, they protecting our schools.” (www. reform, environmentalism, and difficult. In fact, if you have believe in free market solutions oregonrepublicanparty.org) “good government.” Their biggest an Oregon driver’s license or and that the place of government victory in recent years has been Oregon ID card, you have been as an answer to social needs is a The Working Families Party electing the first African-American automatically registered to vote, last resort. Libertarian R. Mack has a name that sounds a lot less president, and older voters will thanks to our first-in-the-nation Augenfeld on the City Council of threatening than, say, the Workers’ tell you that’s a big deal. They also “Motor Voter” law. Baker City is the only Libertarian Party. Their platform is definitely hold the state’s governorship and currently holding elective office centered on workers’ rights: a Even so, more than 30% of eligible majorities in the state legislature in Oregon, although they have state bank, disability insurance voters don’t actually vote. and senate. (www.dpo.org) held higher offices in the past. and higher education for all, (www.lporegon.org) sustainable jobs, fair trade, and The Independent Party is not So what are those eight parties? In the right to organize. Right now alphabetical order: just all the people who register The Pacific Green Party has, as “independent,” which means as you might expect, a platform it is among the parties that share The Constitution Party proposes they don’t declare for any party. strong on environmentalism and that 1.7%, but they have an impact, to ban abortion, repeal most gun Five percent of Oregon voters are opposition to war, and also endorses helping achieve paid sick days control laws, repeal most child Independents with a capital I. feminism, respect for diversity, and for all Oregonians. Good news for protection laws, repeal most labor That number is important becuae social justice. The Greens are just anyone who has a job, or who eats and consumer protection laws, it makes them a “major” party 0.5% of Oregon voters, but out. (www.workingfamilies.org) abolish the income tax, return to under Oregon law, putting the last November, Green support Do none of these options appeal the gold standard, “quarantine” Independents on a par with the helped persuade the Portland people who are HIV positive and elephant and the donkey. They City Council to ban any new fossil to you? You and 24.4% of Oregon declare English the official national want transparency in government, fuel infrastructure. voters evidently agree, because language. They are among the less influence by special interests, (www.pacificgreens.org) they’ve registered as non-affiliated, group of minor parties who share consumer protection, small or what some call independents, 1.7% of registered voters. They businesses, and affordable college. The Progressive Party, formerly with a lowercase “i.” have never won any statewide (www.indparty.com) known as the Oregon Peace Party, Want to start your own party? races, but have elected Randy is for campaign finance reform, a Anybody who can gather signatures Fontenot Chief of Police in Eunice. The Libertarian Party wants a state bank like North Dakota’s, (www.constitutionpartyoregon.net) smaller, less powerful government and “fair taxation” (Oregon of 1.5% of the number of people that allows people much more has the fourth-highest taxes on who voted in the last gubernatorial The Democratic Party has personal autonomy. For instance, working-class people and the election, or who can gather a 37.8% of Oregon’s registered this party would eliminate lowest corporate taxes). They’d also thousand friends and drinking voters, making them the largest corporate entities and protect like to abolish the Oregon State buddies for a caucus, can form their party in the state and one of the environment by holding Senate, leaving the Oregon House own party. 6 | Corvallis Advocate By Abbie Tumbleson Corvallis to Coast Trail Closer to Reality By Kyra Blank Possible June Opening for Eastern Half New Adventures e’ve all imagined—and maybe in Old News Weven salivated a little bit in the Historic Papers Now process—what it’d be like having access Available Online to a trail that connected Corvallis to the coast. Sure, Highway 20 can get you there. And there are plenty of cooperative effort between Oregon twists, turns, and fewer cars if you take AState University Libraries and Press, the Benton County a side drive along Route 180 through Historical Society Eddyville. But that’s if you’re traveling and Museum, and by automobile. Hikers, equestrians, and the University of mountain bikers have something else in Oregon’s Knight mind. Library has led to Soon, those wishing to take a car-free “It is so ‘doable’ if government agencies, would increase off-road miles for users, a newly digitized journey from Corvallis to the Pacific local governments, and private and volunteers are also more than collection of Ocean will have a way to do it. One landowners allow it. We know it is welcome to join in the overall effort. newspapers from Corvallis’ history. group is working with the U.S. Forest physically possible [to take this route] The western half of the C2C Trail, Copies of the Service and Siuslaw National Forest, as we have backpacked the route four times in the past decade,” said Gary which would end somewhere near Ona Corvallis Times private land owners, and Benton and and the Corvallis Chapman, president of the C2C Trail Beach next to Highway 101, is still Lincoln counties to bring a new trail to Gazette, dating life: the Corvallis-to-the-Sea (C2C) Trail. Partnership. being notched out on the map, and agreements need to be made with the from 1863 to 1909, are now available The C2C Partnership is a collaborative He added that past efforts as far back online at oregonnews.uoregon.edu. group of citizens, businesses, and U.S. Forest Service. Chapman added as 1974 to get the trail established and the partnership has the support of The recent microfilming and digitization organizations that have wanted to bring open have failed for various reasons, Lincoln County and an opening date of these two papers not only adds to the C2C Trail to life for more than a most of which have been overcome with for the western half depends on what the Oregon Digital Newspaper Program, decade. current efforts. the trail will actually end up looking but, according to Irene Zenev, Executive Director of Benton County Historical Society Now, the group is very close to reaching Those efforts include lots of work, like and what class it ends up being. An its big goal as the eastern route of the and Museum, it’s a great help to scholars. like obtaining fiscal and volunteer environmental study would also need to trail, spanning from Corvallis to Big Elk “This is a powerful resource for researchers, resources to enable trail construction, be completed. He envisions that section Campground near Eddyville, is set to genealogists, and historians, not to mention management, and maintenance, along opening within a year or two from the open in 2016. students of all ages,” she said. with planning critical products from time an agreement is reached with the The C2C Partnership has obtained signs to maps and tool purchases. Forest Service. Larry Landis, Special Collection Director at the OSU library, said of the project, agreements with private landowners, “It’s a nice, local alternative for long- Starker Forests, and the Siuslaw The C2C Partnership has a handful of “Having this content available online will distance outings, an easy two-day bike be a boon to many researchers, especially National Forest, and aspires to have an “show and tell” hikes tentatively planned ride, and a possible one-day bike ride,” as OSU moves toward its 150th anniversary official opening date of June 4—a.k.a. for the spring and summer months. For Chapman said. “The coast is a cool in 2018.” The project relied on original National Trails Day. Volunteers have up-to-date details about hiking dates destination.” newspapers, which were held in the worked to build various sections of the and locations, and more info about collections of OSU’s Valley Library and in eastern route, and still need to install The C2C Partnership welcomes more volunteering or donating, visit www. the Benton County Historical Society and signs and have official maps printed. approvals from private landowners that c2ctrail.org. Museum. By Kiki Genoa According to Landis, this development is important not only to researchers but to Do’s and Dron’ts everyday citizens of Corvallis. He said, “People who want to learn about who How to Not Be a Dummy with Your Drone lived in their historic house,” can do that. ccording to stats provided by the allowing any new mechanical birds to In semi-local news, drones will no longer You can also find out the history of your AConsumer Technology Association, spread their robotic wings, every drone be allowed to fly in Washington’s state favorite parks, your child’s school, and an estimated 400,000 Americans user must provide the FAA with their capitol campus in Olympia. According to certain community events. received drones as gifts over the name, address, email, and a $5 fee. the Department of Enterprise Services, One of Landis’ favorite things about these holidays. Unlike the daunting armed an agency which supervises operations papers is that they reported things that we war-drones of yesteryear, these new The FAA provides a set of rules on their on the Capitol campus, the ban—which don’t think about. For example, instead of en-vogue hobby planes are similar to website. “When I fly a drone, I am a goes into effect on Feb. 11—was created car accidents, horse and buggy accidents remote-controlled children’s toys, and pilot,” states the caption of one colorful after an unfortunate incident wherein were reported. They also reported on who can be flown almost anywhere where chart, which addresses drone safety. an unmanned aircraft crashed into the was visiting town, usually important people there is open air and a decent view. Of Rules include but are not limited to the window of an office building in the area. who meant a lot to the community. course, no fun comes without a price— following: The project took over two years to some of the deluxe models cost Santa The Capitol drone ban is similar to 1. Fly your drone below 400 feet. complete, mostly because the original upwards of $1,000. other laws being put into effect around 2. Follow FAA airspace requirements the country, preventing drones from microfilms were too damaged to use, so the University of Oregon re-microfilmed the Another cost that comes along with (you’ll need to look those up) being operated in capitols and national the tag on the box of these fancy adult papers. Once that process was done, the 3. Do not fly near people, cars, over parks. Michigan, Georgia, and Arkansas rest went quickly. toys is the set of rules the federal stadiums or sports events, or within have already implemented no-drone government has set in place for drone 5 miles of an airport without first laws for certain areas, and no drones You can view the papers for yourself by owners. A few days before Christmas, contacting the proper authorities. can be flown legally in Washington, D.C. going to oregonnews.uoregon.edu. It’s the Federal Aviation Administration never too late to learn new things about decided to require all fliers of drones 4. Do not fly over forest fires. To register yourself as a legal drone the place you live! weighing between 0.5 and 55 pounds 5. Do not fly your drone while user, visit https://registermyuas.faa. to sign up on their website. Before intoxicated. gov. Fly safely! Corvallis Advocate | 7 By Stevie Beisswanger Wedding Savvy: Simplicity Saves Corvallis Planners Share Tricks of the Trade

arriage licenses in Benton County Couples can open the celebration up to Mcost approximately $52, however extended friends and family during the Corvallis couples, on average, spend reception, best booked indoors, where $25,306 in preparation for their “big days.” guests are comfortable and sheltered Local expenditure ranges between $18,980 from any surprise elements. and $31,633, and to-be-weds can expect A scroll through the Benton County each guest to cost them between $193 and Parks Department webpage reveals $236. that couples can book a four-hour block If these figures churn a gut-slicked in Central, Bellfountain, Fort Hoskins sickness in you, too, if your sanity sits at Historic or Bald Hill Barn for as low as a far more moderate figure, fear not. I’ve $50, depending on added utilities and sniffed out all the tricks at keeping that attendance totals. For a guest list of post-nuptial debt at bay, with a $3,000 cap 50 or less, Avery Park offers use of its in mind. Rose Garden starting at $100. Plus, the backdrop of the roses cuts the cost of pre- I’m not saying such cherished ceremonies bought flowers. don’t call for some expense. Some like their thrills frilled, though top-notch Take advantage of friends and free land. professionals, brands, and venues often Ask a friend to help some brethren out increase prices by 50 to 100%. By my by becoming ordained to wed for free calculation, with the utilization of near through Universal Life Church. Borrow and far resources, I can guarantee a another’s sweet backyard, or better wedding of epic aesthetic proportions at a yet, haul folks to the coast, where free from bulk grocers such as Costco and “Basically if you’ve got a trade skill or far fairer price. beaches abound. Under a three-hour Safeway for pinwheels and bread loaves product you think is worthy of trade, give drive away, Cannon Beach legally allows Lands of the Free as low as $1.99. Throwing an appetizer- it a shot. The worst we can say is no,” he the consumption of alcohol, plus a view It’s easy to guess where most of the money only reception with varieties of salad and said. Among accepted Flat Tail trades of Haystack Rock, made famous in the gets spent—food, booze, and venues. The pasta dishes is a great way to cut down are mechanical, commercial and certified opening scene of The Goonies. Beachside average cost for such services is $11,064 in on cost. Hoffman suggests scheduling the contractor services, cordwood, and farm nuptials are even better for cutting the Corvallis. Popular spots like the Vue and reception around 1 to 1:30 p.m., as guests animals such as suckling pigs. cost of tables and linens, if opting for a OSU’s Alumni Center slip immediately off are likely still digesting lunch. picnic-style meal. Provide thrift-picked the list, each costing $2,000 at least. The Personally, I suggest investing in a home- blankets and baskets—a great place for Corvallis Country Club and the Garden of Clients can bring in outside caterers to brew kit, costing upwards of $300 for the those fresh loaves, meats, and cheeses. Gentle Breeze might be manageable, rates Odd Fellows, or personally provide food initial batch and equipment, then around beginning around $1,000, although the and booze—no hard liquor—at the expense $50 for each five-gallon batch afterward. Some think it tacky, but I’ve always price swells with the girth of the guest list. of Odd Fellows’ OLCC-certified server. This requires time, as batches typically been partial to a potluck affair, having The Odd Fellows Barnum offers six-hour Venues typically require liquor-licensed take up to three months to brew, but everyone contribute one delicious dish. block ballroom rentals, with an additional servers, and certification can be completed would cut down on alcohol expenditure, Also suggested by Hoffman is ditching $200 kitchen cost. online for $25. Caterers might allow tabs Hoffman has seen reach $10,000 the cake and offering bulk-bought cookie clients to provide boozery, but will likely heights. Other options are setting a bar or cupcake bars, catering to guests’ Business manager and event coordinator charge a corking fee (to literally open limit and closing shop when it’s reached creative tastes, or serving tea, coffee, or Rachell Hoffman refers to Odd Fellows containers), between $10 and $35. or only serving the couple’s favorite punch, cheaper alternatives to alcohol. as a “DIY kind of place” where couples cocktails. It may sound cheap, but will Owner/brewmaster Dave Marliave of can customize the space according to likely come off as très cute. Diamond Diets budget and vision. Understanding that local Flat Tail Brewing Company declares I’ve always considered the cost of rings a catering and alcohol prices are big discounts on kegs or bulk purchases Hoffman suggests keeping the ceremony side expense, as they symbolize the last money-suckers, Hoffman suggests going unavailable due to OLCC laws, but short, around 30 minutes, outdoors, and gift exchanged between to-be-weds before half catered, having the caterer provide offers consideration of barters and intimate, as a guest list of immediate their merry mergers. However, jewelry only small dishes, or self-catered, buying advertisements. family will greatly cut down on cost. is listed as the second-greatest expense

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8 | Corvallis Advocate 20110350_0323_2x3_MonMad_db.indd 1 3/22/2011 11:18:43 AM for Corvallis couples, spending $3,931 on stocked with new, used, and sample One of the first cuts suggested when on average. gowns, ranging between $150 and $1,500. a budget is favors for guests, costing Always worth a look is Craigslist, with Corvallis couples $647 on average. Well-known ways around jacked-up dresses selling as low as $130 locally. However, if you’re really milking the jewelry costs are by buying smaller, guestlist, it might be wise to offer at least accentuating stones and keeping Local coordinators Kate Lacey and some small token of appreciation. Here diamonds at a minimum, or by selling old Heather Bodenhamer of Everything Else I’d suggest bulk-bought candies or getting pieces at local gold exchange stores and Events suggest seeking out discontinued back on that DIY grind. Think mason buying new. dresses, as well as having bridesmaids jars, soaps and photo coasters, etc., etc., and groomsmen purchase their own suits Wedding Factory Direct lists wholesale, etc. and gowns as contributions. Planners closeout jewelry for as little as $50 such as Lacey and Bodenhamer are the Speaking of photos, invites are another and sites like Overstock.com and Etsy fourth-biggest expense for Corvallis source of overspending, costing local likewise list low-cost options. If, like me, couples, averaging $1,538. couples an average of $882. Go green by you have an aversion to diamonds, check using sites like Evite, Weddingwire, or out the website A Practical Wedding, Most popular is Lacey and Bodenhamer’s Paperless Post to send electronic invites. featuring 30 non-traditional rings under Build Your Own package, which tailors to Postcards are less costly, too—or you $500. couples’ budgets. The cost of full service, could try finding a Photoshop-friendly with Lacey and Bodenhamer doing all the Amateurs and Professionals friend to digi up some printables. work, would be $2,500. If opting out of Corvallis couples spend more than extra help, Lacey and Bodenhamer advise Least spent locally is in the category a pretty penny for pictures and giving one person a master list to track of spa and beauty, with couples filmography—on average, $2,734. expenses and responsibilities. shelling out $124 on average. Most Package prices vary between $600 and marriage-preparing women should be $3,000 for local photographers. Timing is everything to cost-cautious well-practiced in painting their faces couples, and save-the-date Saturdays I suggest contacting OSU’s Arts and YouTube tutorials exist by the should be avoided, as venues tend to As for decorations, I stress again the Department for hook-ups with rookies billions. Remember to reach out to those charge more compared with weekdays, art of getting thrifty. Be on the prowl thirsting to fill their portfolio pages. OSU beauticious acquaintances or ask your Fridays, or Sundays. for deals and discounts via sites like photography professor Julia Bradshaw Groupon, Ideel, Hautelook, and Gilt. mom’s life-long hairdresser to cut you a recommends current student Heather “Whenever you’re in an emergency According to Hoffman, now’s the time deal. Just be resourceful and remember... March, whose rates begin at $600 for situation, your cost goes up,” said to load up on hand-me-down twinkle It’s a Party, Not a Performance a four-hour time slot, as well as recent Lacey, who advises pacing and careful lights, discounted post-holiday season. Maybe it’s my lack-thereof knack for graduate Shae Williams, who charges calculation. Likewise, Hoffman suggests Hoffman refers to Pinterest and Etsy theatrics but I have a feeling that if $1,500 total. Local professional Travis couples give themselves six months at as “frenemies” for their plethora of DIY celebrating your special day means Johnson charges between $700 and least. ideas, some of which can be extremely putting on a $20,000 show, there might $3,000, with his packages inclusive of Affordable Arrangements time-consuming. be some intrinsic misfit to your union. proof books, loaded USB drives, and Flowers and decorations cost Corvallis online galleries accessible to guests. Hoffman stresses ribbon as “the best I see the ceremony as a rare chance to couples an average of $1,471. way to get color at a low cost.” Last and have all my favorite fellow beings holed If these prices seem steep, I again advise Arrangements from local Penguin definitely least, the Dollar Store is a up in a place of my taste to celebrate you to use your connections. Ask a photo- Flowers range between $50 and $30,000. good source for table toppers and favors, the merger of me and my betrothed. The savvy friend to snap a few as a favor. Penguin works according to ballpark especially bubbles. goal is have a good time “I do”-ing it, Take advantage of Instagram, Dropbox, figures and preferences, and bunches are not dazzling the guests. As mentioned, or Eversnap, which allow guests to discounted at 15%. Tunage to Beauty, Just DIY the only vital cost is the license itself. upload pictures directly to a personal web Our next biggest expense is for One factor is seasonal variety in cost of Everything else depends on whether your address or hashtag. entertainment, averaging around $1,272 floral arrangements. The Knot, a go-to in Corvallis. If not dead-set on a band or disposition tends towards traditional Think Thrifty site for to-be-weds, offers a seasonal DJ, there are countless premade playlists extravagance. As for attire and accessories, the average flower guide. Year-round low-budget online for free. Try 8tracks or Spotify. It’s easy to get carried away with Corvallis couple spends $1,616. It’s go-tos include Peruvian lilies, carnations, Picking your own tunage might require preparations for a most special day. And important to most brides to stay strict and bouvardias. For winter weddings, try the expense of speakers, rentable locally sure, people are easily enthralled by to vision, but landing the dream dress daffodils, camellias, or Dutch tulips, and at Peter Corvallis Productions. Browse expense. But careful your guests don’t get without breaking the bank is possible, I for summer, coxcombs, cosmos, dahlias, your phone or Facebook for a musical too distracted. You want their attention promise. and daisies. Spring pickings include friend and pull some strings, or rather on the merger itself, not how the day is camellias or Queen Anne’s lace, and for The closest local go-to is the Shabby have them pull strings for you. dressed. fall, chrysanthemums. Chic Bride consignment shop in Salem, Like The Advocate

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Corvallis Advocate | 9 CALENDAR 1/28-2/4

Thursday, Jan. 28 asks, “Would you believe six?” With that Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 Donor Drive. Franklin School, 750 NW in Wonderland and Through The Looking question, this bright comedy-satire put an p.m. Free. Since early 2015, Scratchdog 18th St. 6 – 9 p.m. Free. Rio Ramirez is a Glass is holding a special children’s audition The Red Oak Rounders and expression into the language. Smart is off Stringband has been setting a new strong and spunky four-year-old. He was on Sunday, Jan. 31 from 2 to 5 p.m. on Planktown Brewing Tasting. on a bizarre new case in which he must stop standard for Americana/bluegrass. Based diagnosed with severe aplastic anemia in the Majestic Main Stage. This production Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 6 the sinister organization known as KAOS in Portland and touring throughout the December of 2015. He is one of 14,000 is the U.S. premiere of the adaptation – 10 p.m. Free. Tasting begins at 6 p.m. Music from their most shameful plot. Their plan Pacific Northwest, this trio delivers a fresh persons awaiting a bone marrow transplant. first performed by the Royal Shakespeare begins at 9 p.m. The Red Oak Rounders are this time is to prove their power by blowing amalgamation of classic and contemporary This event is a bone marrow donor registry Company. It is not a musical. There are a local bluegrass band including members of up the Statue of Liberty. For info and tickets, Americana music. These artisans continually drive and fundraiser in honor of Rio. Come approximately 10 to 12 children, ages 7 to The Brutal Bridges Band. For info, visit www. visit www.majestic.org. hone their technical finesse through find out if you have the Hero Gene. Join the 12, needed for the show who will be cast in bombsawaycafe.com. exuberant experimentation and intuitive National Donor Registry. Dress up as your the following roles: Lorina, Edith, Crocodile, Wild Hog in the Woods. Calapooia improvisation. The sound that emerges favorite superhero. Featuring live music, a Lory, Eaglet, Dormouse, Royal Children, 350 Corvallis Climate Action Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. is uniquely “Scratchdog,” deriving from silent auction, and tasty eats featuring the Hedgehogs, Beetle, Oysters, Slithy Toves, Meeting. The Westminster House, 101 7:30 p.m. Free. For info, visit www. influences in rock, folk, country and 1st Grade Bake Sale. For info, visit www. Mome Raths, Borogoves. In this production, NW 23rd St. 6:30 – 8 p.m. Free. Come hear a calapooiabrewing.com. jazz. Fever Flash & Zebra is Joe Withee, facebook.com/HurricaneRio. Alice is an adult role. The auditions will report back from the Paris climate talks, and Johnny Flannery, and Jake Sellers playing consist of reading from the script and help plan actions and campaigns for 2016. Friday, Jan. 29 original rock music. For info, visit www. LUNAFEST Film Festival. Austin playing theater games. Please wear For info, visit www.350corvallis.org. Auditorium, 875 SW 26th St. 7 – 9:30 p.m. Music a la Carte – Dave and bombsawaycafe.com. comfortable clothes. Children held over Cost: $15 for general admission, $12 for for consideration will be asked to attend Marys River Grange Movie Memorial Sharon Thormahlen. senior/student admission. LUNAFEST is a callbacks on Wednesday, Feb. 3 at 7:30 p.m. Night. Marys River Grange Hall, 24707 Union, Oregon State University. 12 – Saturday, Jan. 30 traveling film festival of award-winning before the final decision is made. For info, Grange Hall Rd., Philomath. 7 p.m. Free. 12:45 p.m. Free. Dave and Sharon will be Elementary Strings Winter short films by, for and about women. This visit www.majestic.org. Ygal Kaufman hosts this classic movie performing as the guitar-harp duo a.k.a Concert. Crescent Valley High School, season, our program of nine films – filled screening series every other Thursday at the the Thorharpdotcombo. For info, visit www. 4444 NW Highland Dr. 3 p.m. Cost: $3. with stories of reflection, hope and humor Majestic Reader’s Theatre – Marys River Grange Hall in Philomath. There mu.oregonstate.edu. Elementary Strings is open to all public, – will travel to over 150 cities and screen in Skylight by David Hare. Majestic are delicious treats on hand for purchase private and home-school students in third front of 25,000 people. Each year, various Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 3 – 7 p.m. Cost: and donations are graciously accepted, The Svens. Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 – 9 p.m. Free. For info, through fifth grades. Classes meet twice a organizations bring LUNAFESTs to their $10 - $12. Kyra is surprised to see the son but otherwise, this is a totally free movie of her former lover at her apartment in a visit www.imaginecoffee.net. week during the school year in each of the communities and raise funds for their local screening series with newsreels, history and non-profits as well as our main beneficiary London slum. He hopes she will reconcile cartoons for everyone to enjoy. For info, visit 509J elementary schools. Students received Best Cellar. Best Cellar Coffeehouse, instruction in violin, viola or cello. Levels – Breast Cancer Fund. This season’s program with his distraught, now widowed, father. www.facebook.com/mrgmovienight. 1165 NW Monroe Ave. 7:30 p.m. Cost: $2 - 1, 2, and 2 advanced students participate of six selected films will compel discussion, Tom, a restless, self-made restaurant and Ecology and Conservation of a $10 your choice. Children free. An evening of in two joint concerts a year, as well as in make you laugh, tug at your heartstrings hotel tycoon, arrives later that evening, unaware of his son’s visit. Kyra, who was his Seabird Enigma: The Marbled great acoustic music at a price anyone can school and community performances. For and motivate you to make a difference in your community. Incredibly diverse in invaluable business associate and a close Corvallis-Benton County afford. Admission: $2 to $10, your choice. info, visit www.cyassoc.org. Murrelet. style and content, LUNAFEST is united by a family friend until his wife discovered their Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 7 p.m. Kids are free and welcome. At 7:30 p.m., Ian Doodling Fun – What Is common thread of exceptional storytelling affair, has since found a vocation teaching Free. Presentation by Kim Nelson. For info, Priestman performs. This singer-songwriter comes all the way from England (after Zendoodle? Studio262, 425 SW – by, for and about women. For info, visit underprivileged children. Is the gap between visit www.sustainablecorvallis.org. about 20 years in the Willamette Valley). Madison Ave. 4 – 5:30 p.m. Cost: $10 and www.lunafest.org. them unbridgeable, or can they resurrect Deluxe Priestman has a great sense of humor, and includes materials. Like to doodle? Join us their relationship? For info, visit www. Thirsty Thursday Trivia. Imagine Coffee, 5460 Brewing Company, 635 NE Water Ave., some really fine songs. At 8:30 p.m., Cyd in learning about the next level of doodling The Dead Beats. majestic.org. SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 – 9 p.m. Free. For Albany. 7 p.m. No cover, but 21+. Team- Smith and Ruthie Dornfeld perform. Having – Zendoodle – a great way to relax and based trivia happening every Thursday. played in and around Corvallis for years, create little works of art for every level of info, visit www.imaginecoffee.net. Monday, Feb. 1 having been part of the legendary group art maker. Each student will take away their Show off your smarts while enjoying craft Oregon Valley Boys. Calapooia February Meeting of the beverages at Deluxe Brewing Company. Highwater String Band, Ruthie and Cyd own doodle note cards and receive a set Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., moved on to higher ground. Now they come of Artist Tiles (4×4 inch doodle paper) and Corvallis Guitar Society. Each night, the top two teams will win Albany. 8 p.m. Free. For info, visit www. Gracewinds Music, 137 SW 2nd St. 7 – 9 prizes. For info, visit www.sinisterdeluxe. together for a return to The Cellar, featuring appropriate pens and pencils to continue calapooiabrewing.com. great guitar and fiddle. For info, visit www. the doodling fun at home. For info, visit p.m. February meeting of the Corvallis com. Guitar Society at Gracewinds Music (use the corvallisfolklore.org. www.studio262gallery.com. Crooked. Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW back entrance). The guest performer for this Michelle Hazelton. Peacock Bar & Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free. Crooked blends meeting will be local blues and fingerstyle Grill, 125 SW 2nd St. 7 – 8 p.m. No cover. The Emerald City Jazz Kings: Sip & Spell: A Spelling Bee for various genres and styles of music (reggae, guitarist Adam Scramstad. The event is Come enjoy a late dinner or a few drinks In the Mood – In the Swing. Adults. Whiteside Theatre, 361 SW hip hop, alternative), pumping out a unique free, but donations are accepted. Bring with friends while you listen to Hazelton’s LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. Madison Ave. 5:30 – 10 p.m. Cost: Free Pacific Northwest sound. For info, visit www. your guitar to join in and play. For info, visit acoustic styles. Minors welcome until 8 p.m. 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. Cost: $12.50 to $25. In to spectate, $5 to spell. The Corvallis- bombsawaycafe.com. For info, visit www.facebook.com/pages/ their second installment of Swing Era Benton County Public Library is pleased www.corvallisguitarsociety.org. Cloud and Kelly’s The-Peacock-Bar-Grill/64517167600. classics the Emerald City Jazz Kings will to present Sip & Spell: A Spelling Bee for Tim Karplus Band. Audition: Reader’s Theatre examine the great songs of 1939 through Adults (for ages 18 and older), a fundraiser Public House, 125 SW 1st St. 10 – 11:45 p.m. Majestic Santiam Christian High School 1942. You’ll hear more from Jimmy Dorsey, for the Friends of the Library, at the Free. For info, visit www.cloudandkellys.com. Auditions Spring 2016. Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. Free. Presents Get Smart. Majestic Benny Goodman, Duke Ellington, and the Whiteside Theatre. Do you spell words like The following three plays will have their Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. Cost: Andrews Sisters, as well as great songs from “synecdoche” in your sleep? Maybe you Sunday, Jan. 31 auditions on Feb. 1 and 2 at 7:30 p.m. in the $14 general admission; $12 students, Glenn Miller, Harry James, Artie Shaw, Vera don’t care what “pococurante” is, but you Classroom and Lab Theatre on the second seniors, and members. “Would you believe Lynn, Helen Forrest, and Bing Crosby. For Audition – Children’s Audition definitely know how to spell it? Then don’t floor of the Majestic Theater. Scripts are now that seven police boats are closing in on info, visit www.theshedd.org/divp/series. miss Sip & Spell: A Spelling Bee for Adults. for Alice in Wonderland and us right now?” asks Maxwell Smart of the Through the Looking Glass. available for check out from the Majestic aspx?series=3125&event=3131. For info, visit cbcpubliclibrary.net/spelling- Theatre Business Office. Gross Indecency by head of KAOS who now holds him captive. bee. Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 2 – 5 When the master criminal finds this a little Fever Flash & Zebra + p.m. Free. The director and crew for the Moises Kaufman, The Forest for the Trees & hard to accept, the straight-faced Smart Scratchdog Stringband. Bombs Rio Strong Fundraiser and Majestic Theatre production of Alice Intemperate Degrees by Leslie Hogan, and

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10 | Corvallis Advocate Ongoing January-February Events... Fun-with-the-Animals Work with teaching artist Cheryl French to create www.theartscenter.net. OSU main campus. Runs through March. cbcpubliclibrary.net. Party. Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary, 36831 these murals. Students made the murals This year marks the 70th anniversary of Richardson Gap Rd., Scio. Wednesdays: 10 this fall, while learning the principals of Exhibit: Journal 365, A Year of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Teen Writers. Corvallis-Benton County a.m. – 12 p.m.; Saturdays: 10 a.m. – 1 p.m. color mixing, drawing using geometrical Creativity One Day at a Time. Nagasaki during World War II. The Special Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 4 – Free. For all ages and abilities. Work parties shapes and techniques for creating three- Corinne Woodman Gallery, 700 SW Madison Collections and Archives Research Center at 5:30 pm. Thursdays. Teens in middle and provide the sanctuary’s abused, abandoned, dimensional space on a flat surface. Each Ave. 12 – 5 p.m. Free. Runs through Feb. OSU Libraries is honoring this anniversary high school are invited to this writers group or neglected farm animals with clean water, student painted an animal native to the H.J. 27. A monthly meet-up of artists yielded with an exhibit featuring a wide-ranging focused on exploring writing with other bedding, and living conditions. No RSVP Andrews Forest, and all students helped a gallery show. For one year local artist selection of primary source materials from teens. Meets every first and third Thursday. required; just show up wearing farm apparel paint the forest background. Individual Lauren Ohlgren hosted a monthly session their rich collections documenting nuclear Led by Rita Feinstein, MFA student, OSU. For and boots. For info, contact 503-394-4486 or animals were then attached to the mural at The Arts Center of seasoned artists and history. Original materials include comics, info, visit www.cbcpubliclibrary.net. [email protected]. in their proper environment and positioned maker newbies. All were interested in the Geiger counters, newspapers, photographs, to give depth to the murals. For info, visit challenge of making a little art every day for manuscripts, and letters from famous Hula Classes. First Baptist Church, Albany Historic Carousel and www.theartscenter.net. one year, creating a diary of their journey antinuclear activists Linus Pauling and Albert 125 NW 10th St. 5:30 – 7:15 p.m. Mondays. Museum. 503 W 1st Ave. 10 a.m. – 4 with the results. Feb. 2 to Feb. 27 a number Einstein. For info, visit http://scarc.library. Come experience a bit of Island Aloha by p.m. Monday through Saturday. In the Exhibit: Craig Goodworth – of the participants will show examples oregonstate.edu. learning Hula. The first class, from 5:30 to lobby, view finished animals and watch the Blood & Honey. Fairbanks Gallery, of their work in the Corrine Woodman 6 p.m., is for those who have never danced painters work on a number of animals and 220 SW 26th St. 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Free. Runs Gallery. The exhibit shows the enjoyment, Exhibit: Up, Up, and Away. Benton County Historical Museum, 1101 Main Hula. It’s a chance to learn the basic steps other hand-crafted projects. In the carving through Feb. 3. This exhibition spans several fulfilment and growth that happens through and hand movements. From 6 to 7:15 p.m., studio, see and touch over two dozen years, several geographies, and includes a daily, yearlong process. For some this has St., Philomath. 10 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. Runs the class is for all students where we learn carvings in progress. For info, visit www. elements from two former bodies of work. become an essential part of their day and through Nov. 5. Up, Up, and Away is a new dances and review the ones we have albanycarousel.com. For the last several years my practice has they have stuck with it. For them, art has year-long exhibition about the history of returned to the questions: What is art’s role become a practice, and a satisfying requisite flight. See artifacts and learn stories about already learned. For info, contact bslandau@ Exhibit: LBCC SSH Gallery: in helping one feel physically connected to incorporated in daily life. Participants the past century of manned flight. Themes gmail.com. Past Narratives. South Santiam Hall in the exhibition include ballooning, kites, land? As thinking needs to be grounded were advised to select a particular size, Corvallis Community Drum Gallery, 6500 Pacific Blvd, SW Albany. 8 in some kind of feeling, what role does and stick with it. It could be an index card helicopters, toys, and early development of Circle. 101 NW 23rd St. 7 – 8 p.m. First a.m. – 5 p.m. Free. Runs through Jan. 28. An aesthetics have in feeling crises that arise size on a large ring, or postcard size in a the airplane and its evolution through the Saturdays. All ages and skill levels welcome. exhibit of tapestries entitled Past Narratives in the natural world? For info, visit www. box, but small so the task of making an 20th century, during wars, by commercial by Albany fiber artist Kathe Todd-Hooker oregonstate.edu/fairbanksgallery. artwork every day would be within reach travel and into space. For info, visit www. Instruments provided or bring your own. will be on display at South Santiam Hall from pocket, backpack or corner of the bentoncountymuseum.org. Hosted by Michelle Lovrich of the Drum Gallery at Linn-Benton Community College. Exhibit: LBCC NSH Gallery: Circle Connection. For info, contact Michelle table. Many found that working in a small Chintimini Movies. Chintimini Senior The exhibit features over 30 handmade Invisible Light. North Santiam Hall format of journals and sketchbooks was as at [email protected]. tapestries in a diverse and colorful range of Gallery, 6500 Pacific Blvd. SW, Albany. 8 and Community Center, 2601 NW Tyler satisfying as creating a large painting. For Ave. 1:30 p.m. Cost: $2. Please join us for Corvallis Community Choir – styles and subjects, including many involving a.m. – 5 p.m. Free. Runs through Feb. 24. info, visit www.theartscenter.net. a complex combination of psychological An exhibit of infrared photography by five a movie at the Center. Concessions will be Winter Term. Unitarian Universalist symbols from the artist’s past experiences. Willamette Valley photographers will be on available to purchase. Closed captioning Fellowship, 2945 NW Circle Blvd. 7 – 9 Exhibit: Albany Artists 10x10. available on request. For info, call 541-766- For info, visit www.linnbenton.edu/current- view in the North Santiam Hall Galleries Giustina Gallery, 875 SW 26th St. 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Cost: $50/term. Tuesdays. CCC is a 6959. students/involvement/art-gallery/now- at Linn-Benton Community College. p.m. Free. Runs through Feb. 29. Albany non-audition choir dedicated to spreading showing-in-south-santiam-hall-gallery. Invisible Light includes both color and Artists present a diverse collection of The Majestic Reader’s Theater. joy through singing together. Music for the black-and-white infrared work by Corvallis two-dimensional work by 10 local artists, The Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd Ave. term will be a mixture of new selections Exhibit: Oregon Old Growth: photographers Paul Barden, Rich Bergeman, including Katy Grant-Hanson, Bill Marshall, Youth’s View of the Afterlife of 3 – 5 p.m. and 7 – 9 p.m. Cost: $10 ($8 and pieces carried over from prior terms. and Jack Larson, as well as Phil Coleman Marsha Meidinger, Kurt Norlin, Molly Perry, for students and seniors). Last Sundays. Corinne Woodman Gallery in the The director is James Moursund and Bryson Trees. of Philomath and Sandi O’Brien of Eugene. Rob Robinson, Mio Streitberger, Diane The company will offer a production in the Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Ave. 12 – 5 Skaar is the accompanist. For info, call For info, visit www.linnbenton.edu/current- Wenzel, Billie Moore and Michael Moore. “reader’s theater” style: trained actors, with Nan Chaney at 541-740-6068 or email p.m. Free. Runs through Jan. 30. The Arts students/involvement/art-gallery/now- For info, visit www.oregonstate.edu/lasells/ scripts in hand, make the play come alive [email protected], or visit http:// Center will host an exhibition of student showing-in-north-santiam-hall-galleries. gallery. through vocal talent, facial expressions, corvalliscommunitychoir.us. murals depicting Oregon old growth forests and minimal staging. Reader’s theater plays and the species which inhabit them. These Exhibit: Rot: The Afterlife of Exhibit: Living Room Gallery are a fun, accessible way to experience Ukulele Cabaret. First Alternative murals were created by students from five Trees. The Arts Center, 700 SW Madison Madison Presents Kusra Kapuler. contemporary works by famous modern South Store, 1007 SE 3rd St. 7 – 9 p.m. First area schools as part of the art education Ave. 12 – 5 p.m. Free. Runs through Feb. Plaza, 425 SW Madison Ave. 10 a.m. – 5 playwrights that might not otherwise be Fridays. Free. This is an open mic and sing- element of the exhibition in the Arts Center’s 25 A visual art exhibit and multimedia art p.m. Free. Runs through Feb. 29. Living performed here. For info or tickets, visit Main Gallery, ROT: The Afterlife of Trees. event(s). A collaboration of the Forestry Room Gallery presents a solo show of works along for ukulele players of all ages and https://majesticreaderstheater.wordpress. skill levels. Songbooks and instruction are The murals will fill the walls of the Corrine Department OSU, The Spring Creek Project by Corvallis artist Kusra Kapuler for the com. Woodman Gallery, completely surrounding OSU and The Arts Center. Art based on month of February. Her series of paintings provided. Bring snacks to share. Hosted by the viewer creating an illusion that one is the research at the H.J. Andrews research titled In Flight are passionate abstractions Makers Club. Corvallis-Benton Suz Doyle and Jeanne Holmes of the Wallop standing in an old growth forest. Students Forest by Dr. Mark Harmon, Professor of nature. Available to view every Thursday County Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Sisters. For info, call 541-753-8530. at Muddy Creek Charter School, Blodgett and Richardson Chair in Forest Science at through Monday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. in Ave. 4 – 5:30 pm. Tuesdays. Youth 10-18 Reiki Healing Circle. 8285 NW Elementary School, Central Linn Elementary OSU and a nationally recognized forest the underground at Madison Plaza. learn basic programming with Arduino and School, Liberty Elementary; students at researcher on tree decomposition. Featuring Raspberry Pi, plus explore 3-D printing and Wynoochee Dr. 7 – 9 p.m. First Thursdays. Muddy Creek and Liberty worked with 24 Oregon artists and an accompanying Exhibit: The Nuclear Age: 70 other technologies. Makers Club meets Donation: $5 to $10. All students and teaching artist Anna Harris, and students at illustrated full color catalog. Reception on Years of Peril and Hope. OSU’s on the second and fourth Tuesdays of interested parties welcome. For info, call Blodgett, Central Linn and Central worked Jan. 21. Art talk on Jan. 28. For info, visit Valley Library, fifth-floor exhibit gallery, each month at 4 p.m. For info, visit www. Margo at 541-754-3595.

Love Alone by Deborah Salem Smith are all be open to the public for VUEsday. Invite film of the week is always preceded by and audience members are welcome and taught by Ron Hershel. Odd Fellows looking for actors. For descriptions of each your friends to unwind in style while taking newsreels, cartoons from the year of the encouraged to attend, listen and participate. Hall, 223 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Cost: $7 per play, visit www.majestic.org. in stunning views of the Willamette Valley feature’s release, and an introduction with For info, visit www.majestic.org/majestic- class, $30 for all 6 classes, $55 per couple. and Coastal Range. Cocktails and small interesting facts about the production from playwrights-lab. Proceeds benefit WE CARE. Classes are Dicemasters. Matt’s Cavalcade of plates will be available from Forks & Corks Kaufman. Donations are graciously accepted for all levels. Beginners are welcome. Ron Comics, NW Buchanan Ave. 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. Catering. For info, visit www.vuecorvallis. and benefit the renovation of the Darkside Singin’ in the Rain. Whiteside will introduce a new, accelerated teaching Free. Every Monday at Matt’s Cavalcade of com. Cinema, Corvallis’ only independent Theatre, 361 SW Madison Ave. 7 p.m. Cost: method for waltz and foxtrot. Lessons last Comics! DiceMasters is an all-new cross- movie house. For info, visit www.cmnyk. $5 in advance. $7 general admission, $6 about 45 minutes and are followed by an brand offering utilizing WizKids Games’ Graphic Novel Book Club wordpress.com or www.facebook.com/ students and seniors, $5 members at the hour of free dance. For info, visit www. proprietary Dice Building Game platform New Morning Bakery, 219 SW Meeting. freemovienightcorvallis. door. Popcorn, candy, soda, and hotdogs corvallisoddfellows.org. where players collect and assemble their 2nd St. 6:30 p.m. Free. Join the Corvallis- from McWeenies will be available for “team” of character dice and battle in head- Benton County Public Library sponsored Drink ‘n Draw. Cloud and Kelly’s Public purchase during the showing of this Michelle Hazelton. Peacock Bar & to-head game play. The initial set, Avengers Graphic Novel Book Club at New Morning House, 126 SW 1st St. 7 p.m. Free. What to classic musical. For info, visit www. Grill, 125 SW 2nd St. 7 – 8 p.m. No cover. vs. X-Men features Marvel’s greatest heroes Bakery (219 SW 2nd) the first Tuesday of expect: drinking and drawing. For info, visit whitesidetheatre.org. Come enjoy a late dinner or a few drinks and villains. The starter set and booster every month. The Feb. 2 discussion is Kill www.cloudandkellys.com. with friends while you listen to Hazelton’s packs are sold out everywhere, but we will My Mother by Jules Feiffer. New members Thursday, Feb. 4 acoustic styles. Minors welcome until 8 p.m. continue to meet and play friendly matches, always welcome. Check out a copy of this Wednesday, Feb. 3 For info, visit www.facebook.com/pages/ and teach new players how to play. For info, month’s reading selection from the second- Thirsty Thursday Trivia. Deluxe The-Peacock-Bar-Grill/64517167600. visit www.ilovespidey.com. floor reference desk of the library. For info, Majestic Playwrights Lab. The Brewing Company, 635 NE Water Ave., visit www.cbcpubliclibrary.net. Majestic Theatre Community Room, 115 SW Albany. 7 p.m. No cover, but 21+. Team- Rusty Hinges. Calapooia Brewing Tuesday, Feb. 2 2nd St. 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. Free. The Majestic based trivia happening every Thursday. Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Community Movie Night. Darkside Playwright’s Lab is a place for playwrights to Show off your smarts while enjoying craft Free. For info, visit www.calapooiabrewing. VUEsday: Elevate Your Happy Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free. Every present, share, and discuss their new plays beverages at Deluxe Brewing Company. com. Hour. VUE Corvallis, 517 NW 2nd St. 5 – 9 Tuesday at the Darkside Cinema, Ygal with other playwrights, actors, audience Each night, the top two teams will win p.m. No cover. Make VUE, a modern event Kaufman, noted local film historian and and interested community members. The prizes. For info, visit www.sinisterdeluxe. Open Source Improv. Cloud venue above downtown Corvallis, your new Darkside enthusiast, hosts Community Lab is free and open to all playwrights, com. and Kelly’s Public House, 125 SW 1st St. Tuesday night destination. Every Tuesday Movie Night, a free weekly screening of whether aspiring, experienced, exploring or 9 – 10:30 p.m. Free. For info, visit www. from 5 to 9 p.m. the top floor of VUE will lost, classic, and cult films. The feature interested in writing for the stage. Actors Beginning Ballroom Class cloudandkellys.com. Corvallis Advocate | 11 dvocate 8 days a week... A vocate picks... ks... d gal Kaufman pic A By Y

Sunday, January 31 Majestic Reader’s Theatre Saturday, January 30 Thursday, January 28 Friday, January 29 Presents Skylight Oregon Valley Boys Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 23nd St. Get Smart Fever Flash & Zebra and 3 and 7 p.m. $10 to $12 Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 23nd St. Scratchdog Stringband Albany. 8 p.m. Free If you’ve ever read this column, or had your life 7:30 p.m. $12 to $14 Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe changed by my performance at the Majestic last Oh yes, Oregon Valley Boys. Yes. A thousand times Well, this looks awesome. Are you serious? A Get Smart Ave. 9 p.m. Free year in An Adult Evening of Shel Silverstein, then you yes. I would go see these guys play on the top floor stage show? I’m down. Fans of the property before Fever Flash & Zebra is another side project from know I will pump up Reader’s Theatre 10 times out of a building engulfed in flames, so getting to see Steve Carrell murdered the absolute piss out of it will Corvallis renaissance dude Joe Withee. This time he’ll of 10. I love everything the Majestic is doing right them at a very flame retardant ‘Pooia with a cold likely also be stoked to see the next generation keeping be playing rock ‘n’ roll with his good pals Johnny now and I urge you all to be a part of it. Reader’s drink is just a dream. These cowboys are fantastic at it alive. This is a Santiam Christian High production, so Flannery and Jake Sellers. And if you’re out there Theatre is a particularly fun little thing where they what they do. And what they do is Western swing. put on a live and energetic production of a play, I’m imagining kids sitting on each other’s shoulders in right now pretending to have ever heard of those Or is it pronounced “swang?” I have no idea. But only nobody wastes time memorizing lines because trench coats to simulate full-size adults in a madcap two guys, congrats; you, too, could possibly write whatever these unpretentious and fun-loving country they can have their scripts with them on stage. True spy comedy romp. What? I’m not great at pegging this column. Scratchdog Stringband is just another cowboys are doing, they should not change a thing. story: at the last show, one of the leads got a nasty ages. But seriously, step out of the cone silence and Americana band with handsome young musicians Warning: Only go to this show if you love smooth paper cut in the middle of the performance, and just come see a show. I can’t imagine there’s a single one who would likely sh*t a brick if they ever saw twangy guitars, gorgeous harmonies, and smiling rolled right along, not even stopping the whole thing of these kids who ever saw the original, so I’m stoked what life was really like in Kentucky. But they do faces. I’m working on liking smiles just so I won’t get in its tracks and demanding a bandage. It’s called for their interpretation of Maxwell Smart. like the music, and so do we. They’re sort of great. kicked out. It’s hard, though, because I have such a dedication. Look it up. And for free? Bargain. This is actually going to be Marys River Grange Movie black heart, you see… an amazing show. But I’m not going to adjust my Blues Jam Night cynical tone, because I already committed to it. Crooked Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Marys River Grange Hall, 24707 Emerald City Jazz Kings Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Albany. 4 p.m. Free Grange Hall Rd., Philomath. 7 p.m. Ave. 9 p.m. Free Free LaSells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th Huh. Blues Jam or the Pro Bowl? It’s sort of a no- St. 7:30 p.m. $12.50 to $25 The finest in bro-rock out of Siletz, Crooked is here brainer, because the Pro Bowl is boring and terrible. Marys River Grange Movie Night is so hot right now, Also because of the whole concussion thing… ECJK is back in town at their favorite spot, and one to strum sweetly in your ear. There’s bongos, acoustic Marys River Grange Movie Night. You know what What? Too soon? Seriously? When did you all turn guitars, and just a hint of Sublime. So clearly I’ll be I’m saying? Last show had people from Corvallis of the classiest joints in Corvallis, LaSells. Will you into such a bunch of wet blankets? That’s good and people from Philomath meeting and greeting, be there, too? Only time, and your checking account, there… or wait, wait, no, maybe instead I’ll just stay wordplay and I stick by it. Oh yeah, also Blues Jam Grange members meeting members of the general will tell. This is one of the pricier acts to come at home and devise a Rube Goldberg machine with is going strong, and I think I’ve now urged you to public. Popcorn, murder, mayhem, all that good stuff. through C-Town, but they’re also big and have many an endgame that puts out a cigarette in my eye. But check it out 54 times in the last 52 weeks. I don’t This week we got Fred Astaire, Jane Powell, and a mouths to feed, and really $25 isn’t exactly like I recognize that not everyone shares my taste in know, if you’re not going to go to this, maybe plan a cast of thousands in Stanley Donen’s musical dance throwing down loot for floor seats to Springsteen music. And if you like light rock infused with reggae, better alternative. I’ll write about it and everything. masterpiece, Royal Wedding (1951). Fred dances on at MSG. So I guess go? Or don’t, but remember that hip hop, and young handsome bros enjoying each Oh, also, Blues Jam is a weekly free blues music free the ceiling and your feet will be tapping on the floor. I you didn’t when the jazzstapo comes beating down other’s musk, then this is basically going to be the for all. I get so wrapped up in my hilarity sometimes will probably be in the back trying to mimic the dance your door demanding to see your papers. They mean 1969 Newport Jazz Festival of your week. See you I forget the basics. Blues is an American roots moves, so please ignore the loud crashes. ticket stubs. Jeez, that got super dark… there! music… Submit: Do you know of an upcoming event? Email us and we’ll addOpenvForvBreakfast,v it to the web calendar [email protected] OpenvvLunch,v&vDinnerl For Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner! BuyCheap • Sell Books • Trade priCeless BooksNow ServingNowvServingvFullvBreakfastvDaily Full Breakfast on Weekends Monday - Saturday 7am- 9pm & Sunday 8am-8pm 219 SW 2nd, Downtown Corvallis 541-754-0181 www.NewMorningBakery.com Monday - Saturday 7am- 9pm & Sunday 8am-8pm www.NewMorningBakery.comWe like to party Corvallis 219 SW 2nd, Downtown Corvallis 541-754-0181 and by party we mean Corvallis121 NW 4th St. • 541-758-1121Buy • sell Albany 541-758-1121 110 SW 3rd Street541-926-2612 Downtown Corvallis 541-752-5151 121 NW 4thAlbany St. Tradewww.stashlocal.com1425 Pacific Blvd. 1425 Pacific Blvd. • 541-926-2612 KNIT! www.woodstocks.com We Deliver (to most of Corvallis) 12 | Corvallis Advocate Monday, February 1 Thursday, February 4 Bryson Skaar Rusty Hinges Band Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Tuesday, February 2 Wednesday, February 3 Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., cciioouuss!! Blvd. 7 p.m. Free DDeellii Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free Community Movie Night Bobby’s Oar, Hi Ho Silver, yy Bryson Skaar is still doing it. Week in, week out, eell he’s the most reliable thing in town that isn’t local Away! and Dumb Luck Oh snap. It’s the Rusty Hinges band, back in iivv Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. tt police ticket quotas enraging me. I would tell you action for their seemingly monthly, or even 7 p.m. Free Interzone, 1563 NW Monroe Ave iicc all to go see Bryson play even if he had just dated bi-monthly, gig at the ‘Pooia. I’m excited about 7:30 p.m. Free my ex-girlfriend, thus violating “bro-code.” I hate dd It’s been a minute since we showed a romantic it, even though I likely won’t be able to go to Bry-labor this point, but I f*cks with Bryson drama at CMNYK. In fact you’d have to go all the In my neverending quest to judge bands by because I’m taking my wife out on a date that dd Skaar. It’s the only code I live by. All other codes way back to the Sept. 22 screening of A Star is Born. their names and push any non-“Americana” act night. Couldn’t I do both? Couldn’t I even take go out the window when Bry cracks his knuckles So I think this is a pretty glaring bit of evidence in town, I bring you one of my favorite bands her on a date to see Rusty Hinges? Thereby AA and sits down in front of the Casio. Including my that I’m not as amazing a curator as I thought. I (and band names) to play around here, Hi Ho achieving the mythical feet of slaying two avian code of ethics, so keep your hands on your purses, was trying to keep a steady mix of all genres. But Silver, Away! And this week they’re joined by creatures with only one naturally occurring wallets, and laptops at all times. the good news is, February is a month for lovers. Seattle import, the impeccably named, Bobby’s spherical object? You bet your a*s I could. But And I got your back with the hecka-romantic The Oar, who it is to be presumed will teach us a Alice in Wonderland we have a pretty gross regular monthly date, Last Time I Saw Paris (1954) starring the immortal thing or two about “old time hockey.” Dumb Open Auditions and it involves going to Oil Can Henry’s for Elizabeth Taylor, and the somewhat less immortal Luck? I don’t know what to tell you, but I bet dinner. I’ll let your imagination do the rest. If Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 23nd St. Van Johnson. It’s beautiful, heartbreaking, and a they’re great, too. But back to the drawing you want to wash that image out of your head, challenging bit of melodrama from the brilliant and 7 p.m. Free board on the band name, or at least get some this would be a great show to do it at. Rusty underappreciated genius Richard Brooks. CMNYK advice from Silver and Bobby. They’re nailing it. Hinges for free. You’re welcome. Well I haven’t gotten any “thank you” bouquets has never been hotter, people, it’s time you jumped from the staff at Jack Okole’s, so I’m going to go on the bandwagon, don’t you think? Kiera & Sebastian Open Source Improv ahead and assume my idea for an economically stimulating flash mob fell flat. How about this Celtic Jam Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, then? Go try out for the next big production at the Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free 126 SW 1st St. 9 p.m. Free Majestic, which will be the classic tales of Alice in Kiera Lynn and Sebastian De La Vega-King Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. It’s Blvd. 7 p.m. Free I don’t know how well these guys thought out will play a little singer-songwriter-y type set going to be awesome and fun, and I can tell you Does ringing in the new month with some Irish this open source thing. Doesn’t that just mean from firsthand experience that when you get up ditties sound like a swell plan to you? And is your at Bombs, and I for one can’t wait to have everyone can steal their material? I’m going to on the stage to audition, the laughs and taunts favorite House of Pain CD worn out from too many a reaction to that news. I haven’t had it yet teach them a valuable lesson about intellectual and rotten fruit throwing hurts at first. But only at spins in the ol’ ghettoblaster? Then you’re in luck, though, so I can’t really give you a feeling property rights by showing up at this thing and first. After that, a sort of emotional callus develops because Celtic Jam has got your back in a big way. about this show either way. I’ll get back to recording all the best jokes. Stay tuned to hear and you can pretty much endure anything. I TRYBreak out OUR your mandolins, OWN violins, FRESHLY flutes, fiddles, and MADEyou later when the newsSAVE of this free $3 singer- SAVEthem in $3next week’s 8 Days.SAVE Then I$3 think we NEW NEW recommend trying out for this show before having DIPS,your Notre Dame ENTRÉES jerseys (which, if I understandAND thisSALADS songwriter show finally sets in. I think I’m just can put to rest this crazy business about “open any long, serious, disappointing conversations with correctly, are not offensive? How does that make any in shock right now,Gyros really. Why or yes, Falafel I would loveMediterranean source” comedy. Subs* EndMediterranean audition. So what Wrap do you your parents. Like for sure if you’re about to put Hommous,sense?) because Baba CelticGannouj, Jam is Tabbouleh,back for another Damascus free a favablanket bean to throw over my shoulders and a guys think? Am I in the improvCombo troupe or what? them in a home, do this first. salad,night (Zaatar)Thyme of sweet serenades Pies, from lambthe Emerald pies Isle.& Spanikopita. cup of cocoa. $ Hello?.99 Is this thing on…? $ .99 REG.$5.99 $ .99 REG.$5.99 2*ANY TOPPING REG.$4.99 After 4pm Dinner Special 2 1 Homey Lamb, Chicken, Atmosphere. Healthy Great Choices. $Beautiful.99 Food. or Vegetarian Combo PER PERSON Reasonably Priced. Limited time offer while supplies last 7 Gyros - Falafel - Shawerma - Kabobs - Baklava - Pita & More! 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s you’ve surely heard by now, Athe Oscars are very racist. For the second year in a row, the acting categories at the Oscars were completely devoid of any color. Last year it strangely didn’t cause much of a stir. This year, Spike Lee and Jada Darkside Cinema Films for 1/29-2/4/2016 Pinkett-Smith, a pair of A-listers who Please call or log on for show times are not exactly dispassionate and unbiased (Spike Lee had a major ANOMOLISA—R Charlie Kaufman’s latest: a stop-motion adult animated introspective romantic drama and the first animated film to win the Grand Jury film release this year which got no Prize at the Venice International Film Festival. Voiced by David Thewlis, Tom nominations, and one of the major Noonan, Jennifer Jason Leigh. 94% RT. “snubs” for acting was Will Smith, OSCAR–NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS —NR TEN Oscar- Jada’s husband) have launched nominated animated short films from around the world. Some movies are NOT APPROPRIATE FOR YOUNG VIEWERS, parental discretion advised. a boycott which now threatens to change the Oscars as we know SPOTLIGHT - R The true story of how the Boston Globe uncovered the massive scandal of child molestation and cover-up within the local them. Catholic Archdiocese, shaking the entire Catholic Church to its core. Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams. 97% on RT! I think that’s great, because the ROOM —R Held captive for years in an enclosed space, a woman Oscars, the Academy, and the (Brie Larson) and her 5-year-old son (Jacob Tremblay) finally gain their freedom, whole Hollywood culture of self- allowing the boy to experience the outside world for the first time. 97% RT. congratulation, are all garbage and BROOKLYN —PG-13 Lured by the promise of America, Eilis Lacey belong far in our collective rear-view. (Saoirse Ronan) departs Ireland for New York City. A new romance chases away her initial homesickness, but soon she’s forced to choose between two countries and the lives that exist within. Screenplay by Nick Hornby. 98% RT! First of all, let’s remember what this is and why we care; it’s an award DARKSIDE Cinema ceremony to crown the most 4th & Madison • Corvallis deserving millionaires in a room darksidecinema.com full of gajillionaires, for their brave, (541) 752-4161 and without exception, incredibly lucrative art projects. Now I’m generally among the last people to AmerAmer Dream, Dream, free free delivery2 delivery2 1x3 -- Page Page 1 1- Composite -hate Composite on someone for earning a lot of money for their work. I’m a LeBron Amer Dream, free delivery2 1x3 - Page 1 - CompositeJames fan, after all. But there is something to be said about picking AME RICAN among the most successful pictures AME RICAN of the year (meaning, they already We all know perfectly well the are people really angry because AME RICAN made a truckload of money) to find Academy members don’t actually they don’t see the right colors in the the ones you’re going to arbitrarily get to watch even a fraction of people nominated? It’s time to end DREAM PIZZA claim are the “best,” thereby the major releases, let alone all the this thing. It’s not the type of situation DREAM DREAM PIZZA backing up additional Brinks’ trucks new and innovative films being that can or should be solved by to their doorsteps. Bear in mind, an created on the fringes of the false nominations for people of actually “independent” film, or even Hollywood system. Why then even color. If the feeling isn’t natural from just a commercially unpopular film, give a modicum of credence to the the Academy — and how could it has never been named Best Picture meaningless crowing of a winner? be? They only see or care about a at the Oscars. teeny fraction of the films the world As I noted in the beginning, last has to offer, so undoubtedly the During the old Hollywood era, where year’s cries of racism were somewhat only films with people of color they independent films didn’t even exist, muted when the nominations came even saw last year were Spike Lee’s this actually wasn’t a problem. But out, perhaps because it came right Chiraq, Will Smith in Concussion, nowadays there are more films being after 2014’s awards which featured Samuel L. Jackson in Hateful Eight, made in every corner of the world, by 12 Years a Slave winning best picture the ensemble in Straight Outta every economic and artistic group, and Lupita Nyong’o winning Best Compton… and Idris Elba in Beasts of then ever before. By a staggering Free Delivery! Supporting Actress. Can we take No Nation. margin. Where the Academy used to CAMPUS • 757-1713 that to mean that our enlightened Free2525 Delivery!NW Monroe sift through a few hundred films from society was more or less okay with Wait, crap, now that last one CAMPUS 757-1713 all over the world, the number of taking a year off from diversity since complicates things. Because Idris FreeDOWNTOWN Delivery!• • 753-7373 theatrically released films now counts it had done such a good job the Elba did get jobbed by not getting 2525214 NW SW Monroe 2nd CAMPUS 757-1713 well into the thousands each year, year before? Because the host last nominated while Matt Damon’s DOWNTOWN• • 753-7373 and with newer methods of delivery year was also Neil Patrick Harris, rather pedestrian effort in The 2525214 NW SW Monroe 2nd (Netflix, Amazon, etc.) also adding whereas this year it’s Chris Rock, but Martian got a nod. But what can I tell DOWNTOWN • 753-7373 movies which get released for brief that didn’t buy the Academy any you? Is that the whole ball game? 214 SW 2nd theatrical runs to get Academy good will from angry throngs sick of If Idris Elba had gotten nominated, eligibility, that number promises to the same white faces they see every would Spike Lee not be upset? Does continue to swell. year. Nor should it. Although wait, he even have a reason to be upset? 14 | Corvallis Advocate the year when Spike Lee got his first likes of Spike Lee and Will Smith. They the Academy Awards? If it wasn’t so Academy Award, for his student film were just lazy and didn’t see enough cynical, I’d almost like it. I want the in 1983, he was among far fewer films. And maybe there was racism in monstrosity to die, but that’s not the minority filmmakers then he was for them not seeing enough of the films endgame of this boycott. It’s what? his next nomination, in 1990 for Do with people of color. I can certainly Getting the dusty old Academy to the Right Thing, or even in 1998 for believe that. But then it’s time to end give awards they don’t want to give 4 Little Girls, but even those were the charade, not prop it up some to people of color? in times when there was only a tiny more. fraction of the faces of color we Shut it down. The awards ceremony see on the screen now. Spike Lee Concussion had one of the softest is an outdated concept from a wouldn’t get an Academy Award in campaigns for nomination in bunch of outdated people, and a time where minorities were getting recent memory, oh yeah, I forgot it’s time it went the way of all once- recognition and opportunities like to mention the studios actually good things, to its end. never before, until he got his lifetime take out ads campaigning “for achievement award from the your consideration,” which kind Academy… last year. of confuses things even more. Not to mention it was surrounded by Yeah, in 2015 he got a lifetime lukewarm reviews and controversy achievement award for his work in as to whether or not it might have Things get confusing when you film, but what have you done for me been watered down by Sony at start checking the privileges of the lately, right? the behest of the NFL. Meanwhile infinitely privileged. Lee’s Chiraq was just not that well This is why we just shouldn’t be received all around, and was Spike Lee and Jada Pinkett-Smith indulging in this ritual anymore. It’s subject to quite a bit of its own aren’t upset because other black not like we, the viewing audience, controversy in terms of sexual people didn’t get nominated, had anything to say about the politics, not exactly a first for Spike they’re upset because they didn’t awards, otherwise some of the most Lee as any film school dropout who get nominated themselves. Which bold and interesting films of the studied She’s Gotta Have It can is a fair feeling, I guess, it’s just not year might have actually gotten attest. Straight Outta Compton that sympathetic. It would be a nominated, and I assure you you’d was an enjoyable film that bore different story if they were upset see a pretty diverse nomination pool. little resemblance to actual history because people of color aren’t The Academy is old and stuffy and and was certainly not the most being featured in films or aren’t lazy as can be, so it’s not like they overlooked film of all time. making films themselves. But that’s got together in a cabal of ill intent just factually not true. Ironically, in and schemed against the deserving And what’s the recourse? Boycotting Biggest More Corvallis Kinds of Calendar Events

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