November 5, 2007 • 127/10 • FREE www.peak.sfu.ca | Getting giddy over gadgets since 1965

Decades of fashion The evolution of fashion on campus from the ‘60s to now Features page 14

U-Pass referendum SFU’s public transit access may be at risk, with a voter turnout of 1,350 required for referendum to pass News page 7

11 | Dave Coulier tells fart jokes 21 | Women’s basketball 2-0 November 5, 2007 • Volume 127 Issue 10 2 Fi r s t p e e k THE PEAK Maggie Benston Centre 2901 Simon Fraser University 8888 University Drive Burnaby, B.C., Canada V5A 1S6 www.peak.sfu.ca General Production Phone 778.782.4560 News Phone 778.782.3597 Arts Phone 778.782.4630 Business Phone 778.782.3598 Advertising Fax 778.782.4343 Copy Editor Stephanie Orford [email protected] Production Editor Amy Gibson [email protected] News Editor Shara Lee [email protected] Associate News Editor Jason Sunder [email protected] Features Editor Paul Hiebert [email protected] Arts Editor Mike Hingston [email protected] Sports Editor Chad Klassen [email protected] Opinions Editor Warren Haas [email protected] Photo Editor Andy Fang [email protected] Andy Fang / The Peak Humour Editor In between classes and studying, students still take the time to care about style (see page 14) (Model Lorina Keery). Kellen Powell [email protected] Web Editor Cameron Maitland [email protected] OPINIONS thank you C Business & Advertising Manager Attack of the meats Larry van Kampen screw you [email protected] Ever wondered what are the best places in Vancouver to get your meat eating on? D Ad Designer/Production Resource Our columnist takes a look at venues for artery-clogging goodness. thank you Larry van Kampen to the Toronto [email protected] By Iain W. Reeve 4 Raptors. Network Administrator screw you to the Nashville Andrew Yang 3 [email protected] Predators. Distribution & Archives Coordinator NEWS thank you to forwarding your Josephine Wong webmail so you don’t have to [email protected] U-Pass Referendum deal with inept servers. Students will soon be heading to polling stations to vote on whether or not they screw you to still not get- Columnists Susie Hill, Iain W. Reeve want to keep the U-Pass and accept a slight price increase, or lose it altogether. ting anything done because By Jason Sunder 7 everyone else didn’t forward Associate Staff Contributors their e-mails. Ed Blake, Christine G. Louie, Ken Sakamoto, 6 thank you to beans on toast. Earl Tapia screw you to teens on boast. This Week’s Contributors ARTS Dave Coulier still alive, “cut[ting] it out” thank you to pullquotes. Laila Barker, Stephen Cudmore, Leigh Eldridge, Context is for saps. Trevor Fallis, Tina Hassannia (CUP), Taryn Hub- Bob Saget, the other Full House alum who now makes his living in stand-up com- bard, Elise Ikoma, Lorina Keery, Julie Malcolm, screw you to full-length arti- edy, has embraced the lewd and bawdy in his routines. Not so for Dave Coulier. Vern May, Minardi, Kristine Nilan, Melissa cles. Who has time for inverted Nilan, Ksenia Prints (CUP), Rob Taylor, Graham Our comedy correspondent uncovers a supposedly ‘clean’ act built on fart jokes. pyramids besides math nerds Templeton By Warren Haas 11 and inverted Egyptians? All articles published in The Peak thank you to Powerthirst and 11 will appear on www.peak.sfu.ca the Rocket Can. FEATURES screw you to the Glass Quill. The Peak is published every Monday in each of the fall, Illegal activity at school spring, and summer semesters at Simon Fraser University. thank you to trick footballs, University should be a place of education, friendship, and all-around good times, It strives to cover the SFU community and issues relevant because it’s not your fault but for some people it involves victimizing others while becoming a victim to students in a fair, responsible, informative, and engaging when you can’t catch them. manner. The Peak is a member of Canadian University Press themselves — of a guilty conscience. screw you to the regular (CUP), a national cooperative of over 70 college and university By Vern May 16 kind. student newspapers. CUP policy is to oppose sexism, racism, thank you to pretentiousness. homophobia, and other oppressive prejudices. Subscriptions to 14 The Peak are available at $56 per year. Subscription requests screw you to people who and payment should be addressed to the Business Manager. bandy about terms like ‘pre- SPORTS The Peak is located underneath the Higher Grounds Café in Basketball teams open season with different results tentious.’ They are, in fact, MBC 2901. If you have a complaint about something that The men’s basketball team opened the season with losses to Victoria and UBC, the pretentious ones. Zing! appears in The Peak, you can write a letter to the editor or while the women, who are the defending national champions, opened their sea- thank you to the ‘Zing!’ contact the Editorial Appeals Committee. Letters to the editor sound effect. Classy and apt. must be between 150-400 words and can be delivered to The son with two victories over the same two schools. screw you to ‘Boff!’ Peak or emailed to [email protected]. All submissions By Brian Barazzuol and Chad Klassen 21 must be accompanied by a student number or phone number in 21 order to be considered for publication. Letters may be edited for length. The deadline is Wednesday at 4:00 p.m. Due to HUMOUR space restrictions, The Peak can not guarantee that all letters “We are winning, will be published. One letter per student per week. The Peak 25 reserves the right to edit all submissions according to stylistic, grammatical, and legal guidelines. The Peak also reserves the just not winning right to reprint submissions at any time, in both written and ETC electronic formats. Peak Publication Society 26 on the score- Board of Directors LAST WORD At-Large Reps Sean Wilkinson Justin Mah Canadian University Press board yet.” Earl Tapia 28 Collective Reps Paul Hiebert Stephanie Orford Cover Design Dave Johnson, Alumni Rep Stephan Fagan Amy Gibson Employee Rep Vacant Head Coach of the football team Secretary Larry van Kampen Photo Illustration Campus Plus Andy Fang on the progress of the program. Model The Peak is a proud memeber of Canadian Univer- Kristine Nilan Page 23. sity Press and sells multi-market advertising through Campus Plus. Andy Fang / The Peak the peak November 5, 2007

opinions editor Warren Haas e-mail [email protected] Op i n i o n s phone 778.782.4560 3 Letter of the week: Peak Speak Interviews and photos by Andy Fang. Gateway to an unsustainable Were you affected by the SFU future webmail outage?

Playing on the frustration of grid- ing its greenhouse gas emissions, Fraser Valley, similar to the West locked Fraser Valley commut- increasing roadway capacity will Coast Express. Existing train tracks Sara Belanger ers, the B.C. Government touts never be the solution. are already present from Surrey to Mrs. T its mammoth Gateway Project as There is no question that a con- Chilliwack that could be adapted crucial for easing the Lower Main- tinuing inflow of people and ever- easily for convenient passenger land’s horrific traffic congestion. upward-spiraling costs of housing service. In addition, there is little I wasn’t able to print our t- In reality, the multi-billion-dollar in and around Vancouver City are doubt the world-class planning shirts for the Biology Stu- twinning of the Port Mann Bridge fueling a population boom in the and engineering talent now being dent Union. [They] might and construction of what amounts Fraser Valley. Adding extra freeway attracted to the region can come up not be ready for our biology to more freeways along both the capacity will certainly ease conges- with other, creative solutions — if social on November 17. north and south banks of the Fraser tion in the short term. But, in the given the challenge. River is nothing of the sort. Rather, long run, the continued develop- If we choose to ignore these its primary purpose is to expedite ment of commuter-focused subdi- options and invest in expanded the movement of truck traffic to, visions that will then be encour- freeways, Vancouver will join the Emma Laprise from, and between the various port aged mean it is inevitable traffic plethora of North American cities Noteworthy facilities. will exceed capacity again within a disfigured by sprawl and hurtling Despite government claims, few years, as has been shown time into an unsustainable future. Gateway will be little more than a and again in cities that have fa- Whether or not Gateway goes I needed [it] so I could get very temporary solution to a prob- voured freeway expansion through- ahead will determine whether one my physics notes for my lem that threatens daily the high out North America. of the modern world’s greatest cit- midterm which was the quality of life Lower Mainland The horrendous congestion that ies soars into the 21st century, or next day. And I needed it to residents enjoy and take such jus- already occurs in the Fraser Valley remains mired in the 20th. know my registration date. tifiable pride in. As for its much- can only get worse unless practi- Be sure to attend SFPIRG’s Cli- hyped ‘green’ benefits, the colossal cal, long-term solutions are found. mate Change Lecture Series this project will result in bike lanes over In the short term, construction of Thursday, November 8, at 5:30 p.m. the bridge and the addition of 20 queue-jumper lanes for buses and in AQ3181 for a public debate re- buses (to a fleet of 1,300), hardly creating a rapid, reliable, and fre- garding the Gateway Project. Join Nicole Battistle worth the loss, for example, of a quent bus service along Highway us before the debate at the Cor- Paper airplane huge swath of Burns Bog, an im- 1 would provide a temporary im- nerstone building, SFU Burnaby at portant and unique part of the re- provement while more complex 4:30 p.m. for a rally in support of gional ecosystem covering an area and longer-term plans are devised alternatives to highway expansion. I was waiting for an e-mail larger than Stanley Park. And if B.C. and initiated. These have to in- —Environmental Sciences from my TA about a paper wants to get serious about reduc- clude commuter rail service to the Student Union at SFU that was due and I couldn’t get it. Taiwan and the UN

In the October 15 article entitled mainland Chinese sovereignty Last, Norris wrote, “Taiwan’s “Taiwan elections looming,” Sam through technicalities. further attempts to join the UN are Grzegorz Wieclaw Norris made factual errors and in- The author states, “Since 1993, also fruitless.” However, Taiwan’s Back to the future accuracies in reporting. Taiwan has been applying to re- attempt to join the UN could be First of all, Norris noted that join the UN. None of its applica- deemed unsuccessful but not fruit- prior to Taiwan’s rejection from the tions have made it past the com- less. Even though Taiwan is still Well, I think it’s ridiculous United Nations, “Taiwan was tech- mittee level.” In fact, it was under not a UN member, Taiwan‘s efforts that we can’t get around nically (though not in practice) Republic of China, not Taiwan, to join the UN have made more with our technology. sovereign from mainland China.” which the previous applications people aware of Taiwan’s current The author’s reporting is quite the to rejoin the UN were made. This political situation and its demands opposite of what is going on in re- year marks the first time that Tai- as a democracy. ality. In fact, Taiwan is sovereign in wan has applied to join the United —Participants of Model Dia- practice but often obfuscated with Nations. logue 2007: UN for Taiwan

Tyler Morgenstern Step away from the camouflage Party crasher

Here’s the latest fashion news — of the rebel force. First the beret Marching Band. Finally, Bob Mar- nothing military is in style. A gen- worn low, a la the French Resis- ley arrived in rebel style and gave It wasn’t so much that the eral rule of thumb is: when the tance, then came the beautiful us a warm place to wait out the webmail crash that affected country you live in is at war, don’t Ché. In the ‘60s fatigues were worn Cold War. me, it was the downing of play at military fashion. So melt by young soldiers back from Viet- But it isn’t yesterday anymore the entire server. I can’t ac- down the gold, silver, and platinum nam changed, and thereafter by and camouflage isn’t just another cess course outlines which ID tags and nix the neon camou- hippies, yippies, artists, punks, print like polka dot or chintz — it’s I need to look at because I flage. Its once-fun statement, ‘I’m and bushwhackers. Military fash- the fabric of war. Tear it up and enroll on Monday. just trying to blend into my tech- ion all but died during the disco keep it off the children. It won’t nicolour life,’ now reads, ‘The war years; its cousin African Safari took be needed. The next revolution is on my TV is a funny colour.’ a turn on the runway and Michael being held on different ground. Clippy Speak: Remember, military fashion Jackson skirted the perimeter set- And we’ll need to be seen. I WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN. breached popular culture by way tling as a major in the Lost Vegas —Julie Malcolm [email protected]

[email protected]

the peak 4 November 5, 2007 OPINIONS Iain Eats

Noteworthy meats Famous porn star what the most ridiculous over-the- dinner sets you back less than Mc- cation in Grande Prairie, Alberta. Kim Kardashian top meal options were in town. I’ve Donald’s. So if you’re ever there and want supports separated this journey into three In the realm of creativity, we to throw back some beef, you’re The Peak. categories: diversity, creativity, and largely have to give it to the burger in luck. sheer volume. joints. From the ashes of Norman’s Also in the sheer volume cat- You should too. In my asking about meat, many came Vera’s, a solid burger joint egory is perennial southern meat bemoaned the recent passing of with lots of options, even veggie house Memphis Blues. Mr. Paling opinions@mail. Stormin’ Norman’s, a miscella- burgers for your uppity friends. Fat suggests the Elvis Platter, which is a peak.sfu.ca Iain W. Reeve neous meat joint on Commercial Burger is another Vancouver clas- venerable Noah’s Ark of meat selec- Columnist Drive that took just about every an- sic, with the busiest location resid- tions with pulled pork and Cornish imal you could think of an turned ing on Denman near Davie. hen being some of the highlights. This week the clever title of my col- it into a steak or a burger. So while However, the best — and to It comes with all kinds of sides as umn ends up creating something this gave a serious blow to the di- segue nicely into the sheer volume well, just to remind you that other of a misnomer. As has been stated versity category, there are still op- section — is New West’s pride since food does exist. a few times, I’m a vegetarian. As tions. Samba Brazilian Steakhouse 1984, Burger Heaven. I have yet However, the most audacious such I have not — intentionally, on Alberni Street features all you- to see a bigger selection of burg- meat-themed meal has to be, as anyway — tasted the sweet delight can-eat meat that comes at lunch- ers — from Hawaiian, to teriyaki, previously mentioned in The Peak, of flesh and organ in about five time in standard ham, chicken, and to BBQ — anywhere in the Lower the Skookum Chief Hamburger years. So, while I can roughly re- sausage form, but those who come Mainland along with, and feel free at the Tomahawk BBQ in North member what most meaty delights for dinner can try ostrich, venison to let me know if I’m wrong, the Vancouver. This monster includes taste like — I ate my fill in the 20 (deer), buffalo, or even bacon- biggest all-beef burger in town. bacon, egg, a hot dog, beef, and years previous to my veggie rebirth wrapped chicken. Who (besides For $24.86 you can punish your cheese in a single sandwich. But — I’m not exactly hip with the lat- me) can say no to meat-wrapped digestive system with eight pat- wait! You can also add fish and est audacious meat dishes that you meat? ties, or two and a half pounds, of chicken, upgrading it to the Punch- immoral savages are getting your A unique Canadian meat tra- beef complete with two kinds of buggy Deluxe. The punch part no rocks off on. However, in the inter- dition is Montreal smoked meat, cheese, mushrooms, bacon, and doubt referring to how you will feel est of fairness, I canvassed some which you can find at Frenchies, special sauce to help this monster after eating it. help from newly elected student with locations at Helmcken, Com- down your colon. The employee I hope this has been helpful senator and noted meat enthusiast mercial, and East Hastings. How- I talked to said he had only ever for the carnivores out there, and Joe Paling to put together a guide to ever, like our American neighbours, seen one person finish, and let’s life-affirming for those who are delicious, delicious murder. Canadians are also partial to a good just say he had a little ‘chemical not. But please, enjoy in modera- Since momma always said that steak (I’m told). The best, cheap- enhancement’ that gave him su- tion. The last thing I need is people if I do something I should give it my est steak you’ll find is at Brave Bull perhuman eating abilities. Burger blaming me for clogging their small all, I asked Joe — among others — on Hastings at Clark, where a steak Heaven, oddly, has one other lo- intestine.

the peak OPINIONS November 5, 2007 5

Editor’s Voice The Writers Guild of America board voted on Friday to go on Personal strike. Experts fear the strike will affect practically every show on TV. inventory But this won’t affect The Hills, Any good self-help book or guru because it’s not scripted . . . right? will tell you, when faced with a rut, it’s time to count. Once I was told, “Count and catalogue those peo- ple who affected your develop- ment the most. How many there were and how they impressed you can help you better understand Cameron yourself.” Sounds simple enough. Maitland Ten is my number. I figure: Web Editor one English teacher, two science teachers, two acting coaches, two academics, one filmmaker, one writer, and one jazz musician. Differently stratified, they’d be seven Cana- dians, one Iraqi, and two Americans. One shameless Amy Gibson and Warren Haas / The Peak promoter, two good senses of humour, two friends, two dogged challengers, one level-headed advisor, Campus View one talented person who treated me equally, and one very tall, engaging black man — also talented, but at 10 years old in Saskatchewan, an engaging tall black School of soft knocks man is all it takes. Looking at that inventory it would seem clear I Though I’ve only if you’re complaining about the long that. In fact, many of my old friends who could re-paint the goddamn Sistine Chapel. I can’t, been officially an lineups at the bus loop, then apparently attend UBC complain about how they though, and have no desire to. Isn’t it a bit of a pre- ‘SFU student’ for a you’re not smart enough to line up for have to drive to another parking space sumptuous pat on the back to say the cool, creative cumulative period of the back door. to make their next class. What’s even mentoring people affected me the most? What about about 14 months, it Maybe you drove your car up the better is that our campus was designed those things that stopped my life completely or de- seems funny to me hump? A good number of parking lots so that the student can walk from the bilitated me for days? that people complain on campus are located directly beneath bus stop, residence, or parking lots to Eight looks like a more reasonable number. so much about our the WAC Bennett Library or the West any of their classes either in the AQ or One stomach impaling, one kicked penis, one head Andy Fang little mountainous Mall Complex, allowing you to walk WMX without getting on them a drop of through a wall, one hospitalizing nosebleed, three Photo Editor institution. Some safely from your car to your class in precipitation. So you have no excuse to moderate head injuries, and one accidental self-im- complaints I’ve heard minutes, without ever having to crack complain about the weather because it molation. One from an unsafe job, two from a crush, have been regarding issues considered open an umbrella. The more economi- doesn’t actually touch you. one from mixed substance abuse, one simple acci- luxuries at other post-secondary insti- cal B-Lot is pretty close to campus as I don’t know what the situation is dent, and three from my older brother. Numbers like tutions. We’re a bunch of complainers, well. with other classes, but for me, I do that ought to put my brother on the first list. and I’ve come to realize that (yes, I’m It’s too far from downtown and you most of my homework on the internet If awkwardness and harm shaped me, then five willing to say it), we’ve got it good up want to go dancing, you say? Well, I took through services like WebCT and the could also be my number. Five attractive, unique girls here. the bus to and from downtown every (dreaded) Lon-Capa module. SFU is a who liked me but I confused and offended by being Before you picked up this paper and day (I live in residence) for two months, school that can proclaim its students too drunk and nervous: two smarter than me, one started reading me, how did you get to and it wasn’t so bad at all. The SkyTrain are able to do their homework without confused, one more talented, and one currently on campus? Unless you live on residence, is quick and smooth, while the #145 bus ever touching a pen to a paper. a date with my friend passed out in a field. Only one you probably took one of the several is great for a nap. Took about 40 min- So my message to everyone is to harboured serious disease. I should introduce her to buses that drive up to SFU, with routes utes on average. stop complaining because it’s pretty my brother. exclusively designed to cater to us. The architectural design by Arthur good here, and unless you’re a profes- These numbers are meagre, so few to mould You may have taken the SkyTrain from Erickson of our Burnaby Campus has sor, you’ll probably be on your way in something as complex as the personality of a man- Vancouver or Surrey and hopped off at taken a lot of flak over the years. Sure it’s four to five years. child like myself. Shouldn’t I look to the higher our stop, placed right at the base of the full of straight lines (like a prison), yeah, Some other points to add: major- numbers? mountain. How convenient can it get? it’s mostly made of grey concrete (like ity of classes are mere 50 minutes long, Eighteen hours of my life watching various pro- Better yet, your U-Pass, which gets you a prison), and I’ve heard some say that professors’ leniency in adding extra ductions of Guys and Dolls, no less than one half-hour anywhere TransLink operates, costs you there are too many stairs to climb. But credit hours to courses, free money straight of “Luck Be A Lady Tonight.” Thirty times I’ve only $24.50 a month (well, a little more there are things about it that we take from financial aid in the form of bur- eaten bananas faster than a monkey to win a free in light of the recent U-Pass referendum, very much for granted. For example, saries, plenty of recreational facilities iPod or, sometimes, just out of boredom. Fifty-seven but it’s still a steep difference to what you can walk from one end of the cam- including a rarely used swimming pool dollars in library fines for books I meant to read and other post-secondary students pay for pus to the other in less than 15 minutes. and three gyms, lots of computers, and didn’t. One hundred and forty-five episodes of Law their full-price adult bus passes). And Let’s see those T-Birds try to accomplish a fantastic student newspaper. and Order I’ve seen all or part of — mostly Special Victims Unit. Five thousand and forty hours on Trans- Link buses, which has to contribute at least one 100 Woohoo: Pepper spray Boohoo: Tasers hours in conversation with a crazy person. Fifty-five Not only does it keep Tasers have been getting a thousand, one hundred, and forty-two calories of BLT unruly wildlife from eating bad rap lately for probably sandwiches (turkey bacon, of course) per year. your garbage, pepper killing a guy, but everybody I missed a meeting while crunching the numbers spray also adds that extra knows that tasers are to on bacon and it made me realize something: I’m in zing to bring your steak to guns what mall security is another rut. Worse yet, this rut is a masturbatory self- life. Pepper spray fatalities to real police. If you’re out counting rut prescribed to me by someone only nick- are also way less frequent to cause some damage, named “doctor.” Could it be that self-help is no more than those from tasers, why half-ass it when you than a complex distraction meant to distract us from so you can probably break can go out with a bang? your ex-girlfriend’s restraining order without fear of There’s nothing more embarassing than having actually changing anything in our life? Hundreds of a heart attack. A can of pepper spray hanging from the police rush all the way to your apartment, only shamans, PhDs, and faith leaders secretly handshak- your brand new Gucci belt also looks downright to laugh hysterically at your failed suicide attempt ing to ensure I get no further than buying the next snazzy. For the environmentally conscious, pepper because you were too damn cheap/stupid to shoot book they choose to put out. spray bottles are now CFC free! Mother Earth yourself in the face with a real gun. Spend the extra All isn’t lost, though. The number one taught me says: hooray for the spray! couple of bucks and buy a tank. something. Remember that jazz musician? My biopic —Jason Sunder fucking writes itself! the peak November 5, 2007 news editor Shara Lee associate news editor Jason Sunder e-mail [email protected] 6 Ne w s phone 778.782.3597 Campus News Rats in Rez Some residents in Louis Riel are seeing rodents in their homes

Photo courtesy of Kathleen McElwain Garbage left exposed outside the Louis Riel Building is said to be a leading factor in attracting rats.

Shara Lee only person who entered her “There were a lot of torn-up bits there’s food around and when it entire building. If this was the News Editor suite had been trustworthy friend of paper — they had a little nest starts to get cold,” said Flagel. case, an entire building inspec- who helped to water plants. Little in behind my heater, and they Along with ground-floor tion would be needed. Cana- black grains were scattered all had another one in my pajamas.” sightings, there were sightings dian Pest Control refused to Jocelyn was in the kitchen of her over the floor, and a plant was After extensive pest control of rodents on the seventh floor. comment. fourth-floor Louis Riel suite when knocked over. A seventh floor resident who So far, Residence and Hous- she looked over and noticed that “I thought that was really spotted a rodent in his apart- ing is dealing with the problem a rodent was stuck to a sticky weird and not like her, but I “To the best of my ment informed Residence of rodents on a case by case board she set out to catch bugs by just went to bed. I woke up at knowledge, the problem and Housing, was given two basis. They do not see this as a the heater. six o’clock that morning and I rat traps and told “good luck,” building-wide problem. “I got a friend to come look at heard [a] noise that sounded has been handled.” and left to deal with the situa- “To the best of my knowl- it . . . and then I sent an e-mail to like paper scratching coming tion on his own. edge, the problem has been Residence and Housing inform- from inside my dresser, so I Director of Residence and Housing Flagel denied allegations handled,” said Flagel. ing them of this problem,” said phoned security,” said McEl- Jan Flagel on rodent cases in the that there had been any pests According to Flagel, this Louis Riel Building Jocelyn. “Residence and Housing wain. A pest control person on the seventh floor. “If there year’s case of rodents has been told me that the problem was in a was then called to catch the were any cases of rats on the particularly severe. Residence certain corner of the building.” rat. work, McElwain was able to get seventh floor, they weren’t re- and Housing have been taking Jocelyn ended up getting a “When I came back, after they her apartment rodent-free. “My ported to Residence and Hous- measures to keep rats away. friend to dispose of the rat. Since had caught the rat, the place was own situation is basically solved, ing. I don’t have a crystal ball,” “We’ve set up traps outside then, she has not had any en- covered in droppings. They were but the entire building still has a Flagel stated. and sent out notices to stu- counters with any rodents in her all over the living room carpet, on problem,” she said. According to the Canadian dents,” said Flagel. building. my kitchen counter, behind the Jan Flagel, Director of Resi- Pest Control, the company- She also emphasized the need When Kathleen McElwain TV stand, behind the couch, in dence and Housing, stated that that McElwain hired, the ro- for residents to dispose of their came back from her two-week- my dresser drawers . . . so there the weather had a large part to dents were coming in through garbage properly and the need long vacation, she was surprised was a lot of evidence that they play in the recent rat sightings. a plumbing runway behind the for them to cover bins so rodents to find a dirty apartment. The had been there,” McElwain said. “Rats tend to come out when heater that interconnects the are not drawn to housing. the peak NEWS November 5, 2007 7 Campus News Campus News SFU votes Webmail down Many felt the pain of being unable to access beloved on the webmail accounts

U-Pass Shara Lee If that happened, Atkinson made it really difficult for us to News Editor noted that they would have get work done.” to use “a copy of all the data,” Michael Letourneau, who is which would include all the e- currently working on his PhD When students logged into web- mail and everything up to 1:00 in computing science, feels that mail.sfu.ca last Thursday, they a.m. the night before, “and re- that the SFU server system in were confronted with this mes- build the file system.” In that general is quite good. “I think sage: “SFU Webmail will be un- case, SFU web services would it’s pretty good because it’s like available for the remainder of most likely be down for more any mechanical system. It’s like today, Thursday Nov 1st, due to than just a day. your car or your toaster. It’s not the mail server problem. We apol- Many students found them- perfect but they try to work as ogize for the inconvenience!” selves inconvenienced. Some well as possible,” he said. According to Frances Atkin- were unable to access saved e- Letourneau is no stranger to son, director of Institutional, the inconveniences of file Collaborative, and Academic system failures. “We’ve ac- Technologies, what caused “Basically this very tually seen this because we this campus-wide system central piece of have had numerous prob- failure was one disk in a file infrastructure . . . broke.” lems with our network, system that simply stopped which is maintained by the spinning. Applied Science dean’s of- “There’s a very central- Frances Atkinson, director of fice,” he said. “It routinely ized network file system Institutional, Collaborative, and crashes. We have a really with many servers with the Academic Technologies on the flawed system and I’m re- Photo illustration by Andy Fang / The Peak data including all the mail, recent file server crash ally used to seeing what a a lot of the website, and a lot pain it is when you can’t do Jason Sunder TransLink will provide several of personal files. [This file anything.” Associate News Editor new buses for the #143 to Coquit- system] had a disk problem that mails that they later needed to Signs posted around campus lam Station and the #145 to Pro- required a firmware upgrade,” reference, others were unable said that systems would be re- duction Way. said Atkinson. “The firmware to respond to important online stored at 11:00 p.m. that night, but On November 6 and 7, SFU will hold Although the $1.60 per month upgrade required a consistency matters, and some were unable a message on the SFU main website a referendum asking students if they increase is relatively small, it fol- check. Basically this very cen- to perform their work. stated that web services would only want to continue supporting the U- lows a $65.2 million surplus for tral piece of infrastructure, that Joe Paling, member services be up and running on the morning Pass through 2011 by agreeing to a Translink in 2007. TransLink cur- a lot of servers are working with, officer for the Simon Fraser of Friday, November 2. Servers were fee increase of $1.60 per month. rently enjoys a total surplus of broke.” Student Society, saw the server still down late Friday afternoon. The U-Pass referendum requires $386.1 million. The consistency check is an au- failure as a “really big inconve- “It’s the sort of thing that only 1,350 votes to acheive quorum. If Poor service to and from SFU tomated process that takes about nience.” happens every two to three years,” quorum fails, or if students vote is about more than just money for 12 hours to complete. The check “It is the main communica- said Atkinson. “We’ve had fairly against the fee increase, the uni- new buses. The current bus loop at makes sure that every block on the tion method that students use long outages, but when I think of versity will not renew the U-Pass in Cornerstone is simply too small to disk is a good file and is not cor- right now,” said Paling. “Most the past decade we’ve probably the fall. Many, including the Simon accommodate increasing bus traf- rupted. If the check shows that the students don’t phone us. It only had four or five.” Fraser Student Society, have stated fic. According to TransLink’s media file system is not corrupted, Com- that failure would be disastrous. relations manager Drew Snider, puting Services is able to bring it “Quite frankly, this university SFU and TransLink are working on back up. If, however, the file server SPRING BREAK/READING WEEK in cannot function without the U- a solution. is corrupt, Computing Services Pass,” said SFSS President Derrick In 2002, some students pro- would have to execute their disaster CANCUN! Harder. tested that those who didn’t take recovery plan. Transit costs would triple for the bus shouldn’t have had to pay students if SFU lost the U-Pass. A for the U-Pass. Harder said that monthly three-zone bus pass costs argument was more agreeable $130 per month, while students back then, before the majority of LSAT MCAT currently pay $98 per term for the students took the bus. U-Pass. “The argument that we “[Although] we complain about shouldn’t be paying for each GMAT GRE the service . . . right now, if we did other’s bus fare is not easy to Preparation Seminars The 5 things you need to know… not have the U-Pass, I’d say we make,” he stated. Complete 30-Hour Seminars wouldn’t [have] even half the service External Relations Officer 1. DISCOUNT EXTENDED! Book before November 16 we’re getting now,” Harder stated. Amy Fox stated that if a student Proven Test-Taking Strategies and SAVE $100. “A lot of people probably just would like to register a campaign Personalized Professional Instruction 2. CONTEST EXTENDED! Book before November 16 wouldn’t come to class,” he added. on either side, the SFSS will re- Comprehensive Study Materials and you could win your trip! The fee increase, set to start in imburse that student $300. So Simulated Practice Exams 3. Grab a group of 15 and you go for free! September, is supposed to contrib- far, nobody has registered a “no” 4. This is going to be a party you don’t want to miss! ute to service improvements. campaign. Free Repeat Policy The current route that runs Since its launch in the fall of Personal Tutoring Available 5. Stop by Travel CUTS for all the details. along Hastings Street from down- 2003, the U-Pass has arguably Thousands of Satisfied Students town Vancouver will undergo a proved the most successful in- Seats are selling out fast, so book today! significant upgrade with the imple- itiative ever implemented at SFU. mentation of the #95 B-Line, which Students voted in record num- Oxford Seminars Simon Fraser University will include fewer stops and faster bers at the 2005 referendum to Rm 2270B, Maggie Benston Bldg. service. The #135 to SFU will con- keep the U-Pass, and ridership 1-800-779-1779 / 780-428-8700 Near the Bookstore-opposite Mr. Sub tinue to run, albeit with reduced has increased by nearly 50 per 659.2850 Canada’s Student Travel Experts service. cent since it was introduced. www.oxfordseminars.com the peak 8 November 5, 2007 NEWS National News Youth turned off from politics

Ksenia Prints lie about breaking the promises,” it . . . as soon as we [can],” said during their November 2005 “Campaigns by their nature CUP Central Bureau Chief said Duff Conacher, coordinator David Leibl, spokesperson for election platform, only 30 were have a certain unrealistic nature. for Democracy Watch, a citizen Manitoba Justice Minister Dave implemented in the Federal Ac- You’re not necessarily being dis- advocacy group. Chomiak. “The public has an ex- countability Act of December honest, the context is just com- WINNIPEG (CUP) — A recent “When voters are voting, if the pectation a government will fol- 2006. pletely different in a campaign,” report has found a link between platforms aren’t honest, you can’t low up on its commitments.” Notably omitted, he said, he added students’ decreasing faith in gov- choose,” Conacher said. “It’s a But, as the CPRN report included the appointment of In the end, people simply ernment and false election prom- violation of voters’ rights.” shows, youth are not always op- non-elected candidates, private might have a short-term mem- ises. But the report found that not timistic. But part of that could citizens’ ability to file complaints ory. (Mis)Understanding Youth all electoral promises are dis- be that politicians aren’t making with the federal Ethics Commis- “Politicians rely on students Engagement, a synthesis report missed after the polls are closed. promises that concern them. sioner, and the “fair, transparent, forgetting what their promises released by the Canadian Policy “You tend to remember the “Often times, we don’t get and democratic” running of cam- were,” Aziz said. Research Networks on October high profile instances when poli- many commitments, or they’re paigns, as cited in the Conserva- “People have a certain level of 18, looked at voter turnout and ticians didn’t keep their promise,” not followed through,” said tives’ 2006 election platform. cynicism towards government,” political engagement among said Lawrence LeDuc, a political Amanda Aziz, national chairper- “In effect, accountability has LeDuc said. “I’m not sure, in the generation-Y youth. science professor at the Univer- son for the Canadian Federation been decreased by the Account- nature of democratic campaigns, Those born after 1979 are vot- sity of Toronto who studies politi- of Students. ability Act,” Conacher said. that there’s something one can ing, but are generally distant from cal parties and elections. “Most youth surveyed [in the “We are accountable to the do about it.” traditional party politics. The The dissatisfaction has CPRN report] didn’t trust poli- public,” Leibl said. “If there are “There is no continuing claim same people, however, are highly reached a point that when the ticians — this should be a big election promises that are not of accountability in Canada,” he involved in non-traditional polit- government of Manitoba kept concern for all politicians in this kept, the public will decide.” He stated. ical participation like demonstra- an election promise, it made na- country,” Aziz continued. “There refused to talk about the Account- Most realize that eliminating tions and interest groups. tional headlines. is a democratic deficit in orga- ability Act or any other legislated false election promises would be The report found that “trust in The so-called ‘Justice Mission’ nized politics.” accountability provisions. a challenge, albeit an important public and private institutions” left Winnipeg for Ottawa on Sep- One reason for the fickleness LeDuc said that post-election one. was eroding and skepticism to- tember 20 to meet with federal of election promises could be the circumstantial changes may “Politicians write the rules for wards politicians’ promises ris- Justice Minister Rob Nicholson lack of accountability in the elec- also cause politicians to dismiss themselves . . . they are rather re- ing. and press for harsher youth crime toral process. promises. Making commitments luctant to increase their account- “Not only are our political and auto-theft legislation. Conacher said that out of on the campaign trail is not the ability,” Conacher said. “People leaders dishonest in breaking “When we make an election the 52 accountability measures same as instituting policy and realize all of us have to say the promises, but they also usually commitment, we strive to keep promised by the Conservatives dedicating funds, he said. truth, so why not politicians?” Campus News The grads have spoken All items in grad referendum pass with comfortable margins

Earl Tapia on right], and while all the items passed by dents paying for The Peak because I feel tention for grad students. Letters have been Associate Staff Contributor a comfortable margin, some passed with a that The Peak does very little to actually written by grads about the issue [“Lack of more comfortable margin than others. represent the interests of grad students. SFU grad coverage,” October 22, 2007],and The item with the lowest number of Last year there were very few people who they’ve also voiced their opinions online Yes. grad students voting in favour for it was were doing anything to cover issues that through the Facebook event created to ad- That is the answer the Graduate Students the special membership paid to The Peak mattered to grad students,” said Ben Milne, vertise for the grad referendum. of SFU said when asked if they would like to Publications Society, which is used to fund the current chair of the Board of Directors “What I’m hoping to see is to maybe continue funding the operations of various the production of The Peak campus news- and the former graduate at-large represen- find some creative solutions to address the campus groups such as SFPIRG, CJSF, The paper. tative. Peak, and the First Nations Student Asso- “I’m personally opposed to grad stu- That issue has been a major bone of con- Continued on page 10 ciation, in addition to continuing to pay for other services such as the U-Pass. Question Votes Results Notice of the referendum was called on October 15 by the Executive Society of the # Topic (“SMF” = “special membership fee”) Cast For Against Abstain % in favour Declaration Graduate Student Society, with campaign- ing taking place from the day it was called 1 General membership fee 590 511 79 5 86.6 For up to the 28th. Online voting took place for one day starting on the 29th with the results 2 Benefit Plan Levy 591 507 84 4 85.8 For being available on the 30th. “I think it went pretty well. I was really 3 Transit Pass Levy 590 526 64 5 89.2 For pleased by the number of students that voted,” said Clea Moray, Graduate Issues 4 Capital Levy 585 406 179 10 69.4 For Officer of the SFSS. Of about 4,200 graduate students at SFU, 5 SMF, Peak Publication Society 584 370 214 11 63.4 For over 595 participated in the polling. This is contrasted to last year’s Board of Direc- 6 SMF, Simon Fraser Public Interest Research Group 586 418 168 9 71.3 For tor elections, where only around 1,000 stu- dents from SFU’s entire student population 7 SMF, Simon Fraser Campus Radio 584 405 179 11 69.3 For of over 20,000, comprised of both graduate and undergraduate students, took to the 8 SMF, World University Service of Canada 590 508 82 5 86.1 For polls. There were nine items in total which 9 SMF, SFU First Nations Students Association 591 456 135 4 77.2 For the grads were asked to vote on [see chart the peak NEWS November 5, 2007 9 News Flash

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We’d love to hear from you

Andy Fang / The Peak Joe Paling won the Senate by-election with 392 votes. Trailing him was Eli Gibson with 369. In a statement to The Peak Joe said, “I am relieved. It was closer than I expected but that’s okay, I ran against a couple of really strong candidates. I’m really looking forward to being on Senate.” Provincial News Delegation demands 10 Opening night (November 8 at 7 pm) A World Without Water Canadian premiere. This film investigates the future of water, and paints a disturbing dollars an hour picture of a world running out of the most basic of life’s essentials. Panel discussion. Elise Ikoma B.C. Federation of Students Chairperson The Peak Shamus Reid was also present. He stated that the Opening night (November 8 at 9:30 pm) current minimum wage doesn’t reflect inflation Dia de Festa (House-warming Party) rates, and that low wages affect students’ ability to Vancouver premiere. This touching film MLAs met with a delegation of 10 British Columbia go back to school. shows the simultaneous mass occupations group representatives and low wage earners in Vic- Reid added that minimum wage affects people of seven empty buildings by the women of toria last Wednesday. of all lifestyles, including people with disabilities, São Paulo, Brazil. Opening reception to fol- The delegation presented over 40,000 signatures new immigrants, women, and “students and young for the Federation $10 NOW petition. The petition people.” low featuring photos by James Rodriguez. was tabled during the afternoon session of Parlia- According to Reid, the current government ment, which marked the anniversary of B.C.’s last took “an ideological stand” against the increase, Friday, November 9 minimum wage increase in 2001. although this did not alter Premier Campbell’s de- 7 pm War Dance / 9:15 pm Burma’s Secret War “We urge Premier Gordon Campbell to elimi- cision to give himself a 54 per cent raise in May of nate the training wage and immediately increase 2007. Reid added that the opposition supported the Saturday, November 10 B.C.’s minimum wage to at least $10 per hour and increase, and that there would be “more pressure China Blue / Made in L.A. / Shame / Tambogrande / Massacre at index future increases to growth in inflation,” states [from advocates] closer to the provincial election, Murambi / Children of Darfur / Radio Okapi / Children of the War the petition. but there are a couple of years left before then.” “People in our province are earning a wage “40 per cent of [British Columbians] say min- Sunday, November 11 below the poverty line and they cannot make ends imum wage will be a vote determining factor,” Reid The Prize of the Pole / Territories / Bound by Promises / meet,” said Reverend Margaret Marquardt. stated. “[This meeting] was only the beginning Welcome Europa / Fallen Angel / Welcome to Niazovland / Marquardt attended “on behalf of the justice of more petitions and more talk in communities A Lesson of Belarusian / New Year Baby / 9 Star Hotel and peace unit of the Anglican Diocese of New across B.C.” Westminster.” The group supports a wage scale that Marquardt stated that people earn higher All screenings at Vancity Theatre, 1181 Seymour Street. will adjust accordingly with inflation rates through wages in certain areas, but a “quarter of a mil- TICKETS FOR STUDENTS ONLY $6 the future. lion people [make] minimum wage.” “Many Full program, screening times, and advance tickets: “We had some good hearings, we made some children are being affected,” she added. major presentations, we’re going to keep going, www.ticketstonight.ca and we’re not [giving] up,” she said. With files from www.psacbc.com/tag/bc-fed the peak 10 November 5, 2007 NEWS Campus News

Grads for grad students, garnered the highest Continued from page 8 vote in favour of, which was no surprise I wrote for Peak News grads’ dissatisfaction,” said Moray, who to Milne. went on to say that while grads made “[The U-Pass] is probably one of their displeasure known, it was clear that the greatest services offered at any uni- Nows I gots me all they also still want to have The Peak. versity. That’s it,” he said. these fancy rings. “I think quite clearly there is dissatis- Now that this referendum has faction, [but] quite clearly grads value it passed, it would take another referen- too,” Moray added. dum to alter these fees in any way, which ICE BLAST! Aside from that, other items were secures the funding the grad students worthy of note. pay to the various organisations on the The Capital Levy, which is $15 per referendum ballot, at least for the fore- [email protected] full-time and $7.50 per part-time grad seeable future. student, and is designed to maintain a “I think it would have been quite fund for future construction and invest- a blow if we hadn’t passed, but on the ment in space expansion, garnered the other hand, the grad students that have third-lowest number of grad students been through SFPIRG have been really voting in favour. supportive of the program,” said Cyn- “I’m really surprised [about the Capi- thia Oka, the Arts Campus Outreach Co- 1969 — The Peak reported the news market on campus advised to turn to LSD for tal Levy vote] because if anything what ordinator for SFPIRG. ongoing strikes in French with both The Province and “mind-expanding experi- we need is Capital Levy money to make Magnus Thyvold, the station man- Canada shaking the educa- The Sun newspapers going ences.” An article in The sure that we can build the student soci- ager for CJSF, was also quite pleased with tion system in Quebec with on strike. The strike began Peak reported on findings ety building for ourselves, and any other the outcome. strikers demonstrating at when newspaper workers as that many students who projects that the GSS may want to do,” “We were pretty happy with the out- most of the universities, well as the Vancouver Print- experimented with halluci- said Milne. come, particularly because it all came colleges, and high schools. ing Pressman’s Union em- nogens had a GPA of 3.5 or Moray, who hopes to one day see the up pretty quickly. It’s not like we had a The strike was sparked by ployees walked off the job, higher. The article was com- graduate students have their own Pub lot of opportunity to prepare a real big the provincial government protesting what they felt was plied from a study at Duke on campus, offered an explanation as to campaign or anything so we sort of did introducing Bill 63. The bill an attempt by Pacific Press to University. It further rec- why the vote for that item was relatively the best we could,” he said. proposed to give English- break their union by reclas- ommended that the same lower than the others. The next step for the GSS is to work speaking Canadians and new sifying workers as manage- academic benefits may hold Canadian immigrants the ment. During the strike the true for SFU students. SFU “I think it’s a combination of a longer- out office space issues with the SFSS, choice between French or UBC Student Union paper Health Services disagreed term investment, which not all students look into dealing with their current English education for their was the largest newspaper in with the article’s findings are going to be around to see all the re- health plan, which expires in August of children. Strikers protested Vancouver. and discouraged students turns on, coupled with the fact that it is a next year, while at the same time looking both for and against the bill. from drug use. large amount of money,” she said. into electing their own executive offi- 1988 — Students looking to The vote for the Transit Pass Levy, cers, in time for their final separation 1978 — The Peak cornered improve their grades were Complied by Laila Barker which is meant to help fund a U-Pass to take place in May 2008.

Attention all students!

Referendum

Since 2003 all SFU students have participants in Translink's Universal Pass, or U-Pass program. Under the U-Pass, students pay a fee when they enroll, and in return all students are provided with a pass that allows them largely unlimited access to Translink services. There is now a proposal to increase the fee paid.

A ‘Yes’ vote means you are in favour of continuing the U-Pass program.

A ‘No’ vote means you are against the U-Pass program’s continuation.

Voting will take place on November 6 and 7 at SFU’s Surrey, Vancouver and Burnaby Campuses.

For more information on the referendum, visit www.sfss.ca

On November 6 and 7, help decide whether or not SFU keeps the U-Pass

the peak November 5, 2007

arts editor Mike Hingston e-mail [email protected] Art s phone 778.782.4630 11 Comedy Coulier still alive, ‘cut[ting] it out’

The artist formerly known as Uncle Joey brings his barrage of ‘clean’ comedy to Yuk Yuk’s

Warren Haas Peak Staff

Dave Coulier performed at Yuk Yuk’s on October 26 and 27.

I’m just going to get this out of the way now: yes, Dave Coulier was Uncle Joey on the popular ‘90s ABC TV show Full House, and yes, he is also a working co- median. What’s that? Full House wasn’t funny? Well, you’re right — at least I don’t think it was. I only remember watching re- runs of the show during high school and deeming it “so not rad.” But there was a time a few years ago when word starting getting around that the show’s star, Bob Saget, was a pretty good live comedian — primar- ily due to his lewd content and frequent sexualization of the characters from Full House. So imagine my dismay when I dis- covered that the theme of Couli- er’s current tour was one of sup- posedly “clean” comedy. I think most people would rather hear explicit details about Saget’s (Left) The Dave Coulier of Christmas Past; (above) the Dave Coulier of coke binges and John Stamos’s Christmas Present. (Not pictured: the Dave Coulier of Christmas Future.) affairs with beautiful Amazo- nian women than be told hokey, the man while only referring to vided none of that. It’s a pretty because he apologized,” there his talents to imitate a hungover G-rated puns. If you remember him as “Coulier,” and drink five bad sign that I only really re- is something a little unsettling Bullwinkle and an ignorant red- the character of Uncle Joey at bottles of Corona each in about member that one of the first two about the fact that the audi- neck, but he stressed his vocal all, you probably know he was 20 minutes. guys had a good joke about ice ence is in stitches. These kind of cords most while exploring the the lame guy who only existed Initially, it seemed like the cream. I was more focused on jokes sound safe or clean on the different varieties of fart sounds to make funny voices and ex- crowd so thoroughly enjoyed the fact that since the emcee surface, but I felt more uncom- that emanate from the human aggerated facial expressions. the night because of the exces- was Asian and the second act fortable listening to them than body. This went beyond distin- So my hopes that the audience sive amounts of alcohol being was Spanish, they resorted to I would watching a Chappelle’s guishing between man farts and Show sketch that mocks slavery. woman farts (though he did do When you have to justify your laughter by thinking, “It’s funny When Coulier came onstage, that) — he characterized a con- because he’s Asian” or “I can laugh at that gay joke because he I figured that the cleanest stuff dition his father used to have as was yet to come — he’s Uncle a “fart attack,” and said there are apologized,” there is something a little unsettling about the fact Joey, for Christ’s sake. I should certain people who come down that the audience is in stitches. first note that yes, he did do his with cases of “ass-ma.” famed “Cut it out” joke — within Upon seeing that the crowd might see these talents used in bought, but I realize now that Asian and Spanish jokes, re- the first 10 seconds of his act. “I reacted even more positively to an unclean context were seem- it was something a little more spectively. had to,” he admitted. And re- his anus emission jokes than ingly dashed. significant than that. The idea Whereas offensive comedy freshingly, Coulier’s set had the the clean racist jokes, Coulier As it turns out, I did get to see of clean comedy can best be de- borders on jokes that are so fewest jokes deemed safe by 40 noted, “I think I’ve found the mannerisms reminiscent of a scribed as safe, and given that terrible the audience knows no year olds and offensive by this level of this crowd.” And I think young Coulier used in ways that the average age of the crowd one could ever seriously believe 23-year-old comedy enthusiast. he’s right. If there’s a crowd out would not have made it to air looked to be mid-30s to early on ABC, but the nostalgic touch 40s, that’s probably what they Aside from imitating the sounds of an African tribe to make them did little for a night of comedy were looking for. But as I said sound like the mentally handicapped, Coulier’s performance relied that was both unclean and un- before, the comedy wasn’t clean funny. I feel like I’m being a — it was only clean so far as on the old standby of any credible comedian: fart jokes. little harsh by calling Dave Cou- the ‘f-word’ was never uttered. lier “unfunny” — his TV charac- Other than that, there were them, the supposedly clean Aside from imitating the there that finds decent com- ter seemed like such a nice guy. plenty of racist, sexist, and ho- comedy I saw came close to ac- sounds of an African tribe to edy in laughing at an Asian But it’s a little hard to keep that mophobic jokes to go around. tual racist ideas that probably make them sound like the men- guy mocking Asian people and image alive in your head when While these types of jokes still exist. When you have to jus- tally handicapped, Coulier’s Uncle Joey from Full House you are seated next to a group may quickly bring to mind of- tify your laughter by thinking, performance relied on the old making fun of how many Mex- of his close friends who end- fensive comedy, the sets of Cou- “It’s funny because he’s Asian” standby of any credible come- icans sneak into the U.S., fart lessly discuss anecdotes about lier and his two openers pro- or “I can laugh at that gay joke dian: fart jokes. Sure, he used jokes must really be hilarious. the peak 12 November 5, 2007 ARTS Literature Pity for the Queen of CanLit

Margaret Atwood’s new book of poetry doesn’t stand up to the shortlist

Rob Taylor publisher doesn’t even have to The Peak read the book to write the blurb. And that’s not fair for the little poems. The Door by Margaret Atwood. And little poems they are. McLelland & Stewart, 128 pages, Rarely “prophetic” or “brave,” hardcover. they are instead mostly quiet and reflective musings. Generally I’d just finished reading Marga- speaking, they read like the love ret Atwood’s new collection of children of the poems of Wislawa poetry, The Door, when Mike Szymborska and Billy Collins, Hingston, The Peak’s arts editor, which makes for a comfortable, sent me a note asking me to rush if not always challenging read. my review in order to fill a space While some of the poems appear in an upcoming issue. I quickly polished, many seem to go on far started jotting down notes. longer than necessary. Take, for My plan was to open with an excerpt from an Al Purdy poem It’s not as amazing as something touched (“Concerning Ms. Atwood”). I’d by the divine, autograph-robot-constructing then go on to explain how I felt bad for the poems — not for At- hand of Ms. Atwood ought to be, but that wood, but for the poems them- doesn’t mean it should be discarded. selves — because they aren’t terrible. Some of them are really instance, the opening to “Enough touched by the divine, auto- quite good. If they were con- of these discouragements”: graph-robot-constructing hand tained in a new poet’s debut col- of Ms. Atwood ought to be, but lection I could see most people “Enough of these discouragements, that doesn’t mean it should be saying, “A pretty good start,” or you said. Enough gnawed skulls. discarded. I was all prepared to this if the judges’ only criteria reputations, but instead by the something like that. But these Why all these red wet tickets conclude the review by saying were the hype in the press blurb poems themselves. We shouldn’t poems have to carry the weight to the pain theatricals? that the poems in the collec- and the glowing reviews of past assault the book simply because of being penned by the Queen of Why these boxfuls of ruin? tion will probably get a raw deal works by The New York Times and Atwood is an easy target, just as CanLit herself. They have to ap- Whole big-block warehouses full. from most in the poetry world, Washington Post that appear on we shouldn’t nominate her for a pear in a collection whose pub- Why can’t you tell about flowers? but in reality, while they won’t the dust jacket, but otherwise . . GG that her book doesn’t deserve. lisher’s promotional blurb de- change your life, they will still . geez. After all my concern that Both are unfair distortions. scribes them as “lucid yet urgent But I did tell, I answer. make for a good Saturday after- the hype would bury the book So, ultimately, my conclu- poems [that] range in tone from Petal by petal” noon read. many feet deeper than it truly sions are the same, GG or not. I lyric to ironic to meditative to But then Mike sent me an e- deserved, it turned out the hype still feel bad for the poems, per- prophetic,” and as being “brave Now that’s great stuff. Unfor- mail saying he had found some- had, in fact, worked. haps more so. More significantly, and compassionate.” tunately, the poem continues for thing else to fill the spot, and I So I thought of changing ev- I feel bad for us Canadian po- I was going to point out that another four stanzas, adding little could relax for a while. So I did. A erything, of really ripping into etry fans, for all the meaningless most of those terms have little to that powerful opening image, couple days later, my review still the book and explaining that noise we have to endure in our connection to the poems in The and ends overstretched and unwritten, the Governor Gener- yes, great poetry is being writ- search for some good poems. Door. It doesn’t seem to mat- drained of its original energy. al’s Award for Poetry nominees ten in Canada, and no, it is no The ones in The Door make for ter what Atwood writes — if it My plan was to say all this were announced . . . and what longer being written by Marga- an okay read — there is much is good, or awful, or, as in this and then ultimately defend the do you know, The Door is, ap- ret Atwood. But then, that’s not better and there is much worse case, mediocre. What matters is book, to say: look, I know people parently, one of the top five Ca- my point. Instead, my point is out there — and if that is enough that Margaret Atwood writes it. are going to slag this because nadian poetry books of the year! that we shouldn’t be evaluating for you, then I encourage you to In other words, it appears the it’s not as amazing as something Perhaps I would understand by or responding to images and check out a copy. CD Review

Without Mercy times, the work meanders and lack the passion that separates All Else Fails and sounds fractured by trying to the good from the bad. Not so with Self-Released do too much. The drumming is AXLS. First, there are not many fe- solid: plenty of and male death metal singers. Second, This four-piece death metal swift drum rolls. The bass thumps you can genuinely feel her passion group hails from Vancouver. The heavy rhythms, which attempt to when she growls her lyrics. This Knock knock. female lead vocalist, known as keep the tracks tight as a whole. track, to me, is their best. AXLS, attends SFU. Her voice will Track three, “Event Horizon,” is Although I think that there is Who is there? tear through your eardrums like quite good. The song opens with room for improvement (in terms a butcher’s serrated blade rips a foreboding bass riff, quickly fol- of song flow and production), Sleeping dog. through animal flesh. This is a lowed by AXLS’s evil howl. Then Without Mercy have made a good good thing for us metal fans! the guitar blazes in, duplicating the . For fans of this infernal Sleeping dog who? The guitar shreds at lightning bass riff for an intestine-rippling genre, I recommend that you pick speed but it also chugs through effect. Some death metal vocalists up their CD. [email protected] heavy power and technical riffs. At have a generic tone to their voice —Trevor Fallis the peak ARTS November 5, 2007 13 Theatre Decline of the American genius

Trevor Fallis With that, the lights dim and As a fan of Williams’s style, es- The Peak a translucent veil separates actor pecially his 1947 Pulitzer Prize- from audience. Williams’s character winning play A Streetcar Named (referred to only as the Playwright) Desire, I was disheartened to see His Greatness plays at the Arts begins with a mournful mono- him portrayed as being so inse- Club Theatre until November 10. logue of a time when his name was cure and neurotic. I have a hard synonymous with theatre. Through time believing that he was as im- His Greatness is based on legend- this brief scene, MacIvor foreshad- mature as MacIvor depicts him to ary playwright Tennessee Wil- ows the play’s central theme: Wil- be. For example, the Playwright liams’s stay in Vancouver in 1981. liams’s struggle with his diminished has a tantrum after a sour tele- At this point in his career, Wil- artistic creativity. The Playwright phone interview with a critic. It’s liams was on the downside. His mitigates the tumult pummeling hard to fathom that after all he latest play, The Red Devil Battery his fragile emotions by drinking has created, and so many criti- Sign, did not go over well with and hiring the company of young cally acclaimed masterpieces of critics and audiences alike. Apart male prostitutes. modern theatre, that Williams from showcasing the play in Van- should be so sensitive over un- couver, he also taught theatre The Playwright favourable comments made by Courtesy of the Arts Club Theatre classes at UBC. Canadian play- mitigates the tumult critics. The Playwright frolics, drinks, and seduces his way through His wright Daniel MacIvor writes a pummeling his fragile Aside from the unflattering Greatness. fictional account of two days in depiction of Williams himself, Williams’s life that portray him emotions by drinking the actors did a marvelous job in with detail. The interaction of Vancouver debut of The Red Devil as an alcoholic, gay, and insecure and hiring the their respective roles. Allan Gray their opposing personalities pro- Battery Sign. Gallant’s character man whose past genius has given plays Williams well. The highlight vides some laughs as they con- ends up sticking around after the way to mediocrity. company of young of his performance is the mono- stantly engage in a battle of wills show, and chaos ensues. The setting mimics that of a male prostitutes. logue that ends the play, where over anything and everything. Despite my misgivings over posh hotel room. A large bed is Gray showcases his ability to con- There is genuine wit in their ban- the way Williams is represented, the focal point. There is a desk off MacIvor is one of Canada’s vey emotional vulnerability. One ter. Christian Gallant plays the His Greatness is a very entertain- to one side with a typewriter on leading dramatists, and it shows. could envision here what it would part of a street prostitute/hustler. ing play. It is playing until this top, an entrance hall, elegant fur- He weaves a funny and at times have been like for Williams to be He is a brash, outspoken, and Saturday in conjunction with the nishings judiciously positioned, provocative story of a man whose alone with his brooding thoughts. young-looking 28-year-old hired Stanley Theatre’s production of and a washroom to the right, influence on drama should not be David Marr plays Williams’s per- by Marr’s character to accompany Williams’s The Glass Menagerie, along with a window. understated. sonal assistant, who is obsessed (and flatter) the Playwright to the which runs until November 25. Stone Face laughs at its own jokes

Mike Hingston Diakun always seems to be midway be- can still perform. This fear is literalized in up to its premiere screening, but something Arts Editor tween delusional and playing the perpet- the character of the Young Man (Kyle Ride- about the production feels oddly stilted. ual straight man, and Kelly breathes Irish out), a mute Keaton lookalike who mysteri- Basically every attempt at Keaton’s trade- hellfire at every inconvenience — his trip ously appears in every scene, and who may mark physical slapstick falls woefully short The Stone Face plays at to meet Keaton was also his first to Amer- or may not be made of magic. A framed — aside from one neat sequence involving the Waterfront Theatre ica — precisely the way we imagine Beck- picture from early in Keaton’s career is tell- a trenchcoat, it’s all awkward somersaults until November 10. ett would have. MacDonald’s script takes ingly placed front and centre in his home, and, one imagines, bruised ribs. The music great pleasure in also making Beckett the and it’s an intimidating presence that none is a lazy paraphrase of a ragtime silent film Last week The Peak told you about Film most jovial character in the play, exclaim- of the characters are able to ignore entirely soundtrack, and Anna Hagan is by far the (1965), the absurdist silent film starring an ing things like, “Oh! Nibblies!” when he is — too bad there’s already a play in town weakest link in the cast as Eleanor, Keaton’s elderly Buster Keaton and featuring Sam- offered a plate of cheese and crackers. called His Greatness. wife. At one point, she even laughed at her uel Beckett’s only screenplay [“The slap- The elephant in the room is, of course, MacDonald’s script smoothly takes us own joke halfway through telling it. Do you stick savant,” October 29]. As if that weren’t the spectre of Keaton’s past successes, and from the first contact between Schneider blame such things on the director? I’m not esoteric enough, this week I’m here to con- worries about whether or not the aging star and Keaton, through to the set of Film, right sure, but if so, Kevin McKendrick, what vince you to see The Stone Face, a locally happened here? penned play about the making of that film The target audience for The Stone Face and its collision of three separate talents: is, admittedly, people who are already fans Keaton, Beckett, and the American theatre of Beckett or Keaton, or the roughly 25 director Alan Schneider. While the over- people who have actually seen Film. At dif- all production is decidedly uneven, Sherry ferent points the action becomes a Keaton- MacDonald’s script and some strong act- esque slapstick, and later riffs on the lack ing make for an ultimately engaging piece of motion in the final scene of Waiting For of speculative drama. Godot: “Let’s go light the barbeque,” Elea- The play’s premise is deceptively sim- nor says to Buster at the end of a scene, ple: what did the first meeting between who responds, “Yes, let’s.” (Here I like to Keaton and Beckett look like? After all, imagine that the stage directions say, “They at this point in his career Keaton was es- do not move.”) But if you’re even a casual sentially retired, riding the laurels of his admirer of film or theatre — and can look younger self; Beckett, on the other hand, past some glaring missteps — The Stone was still at the height of his career but (like Face will satisfy your appetite for celebrity Schneider) trying his hand at film for the gossip in some new and unexpected ways. first time. Alex Diakun and Terence Kelly do admirable jobs bringing the characters This week’s arts section contin- of Keaton and Beckett, respectively, to life. Courtesy of Damfino Theatre ues on page 18. the peak November 5, 2007

features editor Paul Hiebert e-mail [email protected] 14 Fe a t u r e s phone 778.782.4560 Young attire: shifts in modern fashion

Story by Leigh Eldridge Photography by Andy Fang Models — Kristine and Melissa Nilan the peak FEATURES November 5, 2007 15

Fashion defines us, our social standing, and our era. Fashion Punk rock 1990-2000 evolves due to innovators, only to then be imitated by others. Since SFU opened in 1965, the fashions worn by students have The emergence of punk rock made it popular to dress as if Early ‘90s — denim, grunge, undergone massive changes. Clothing has been influenced by you had little to no money to spend on your appearance. everything from pop stars to political movements, from mov- Black leather jackets and frayed, destroyed jeans were the and the ‘70s revival ies to music, and from athletes to alternative ideologies. general uniform of the punk rocker, customized, of course, with safety pins, fluorescent home-dyed hair, and army boots. The resurgence of many styles from previous decades 1965-1970 The anti-authoritarian, anti-establishment attitude that ac- was the main characteristic of the ‘90s. Continuing the companied the movement meant that DIY was the prerequi- trend originating in the 1960s, denim became increasingly Mod and the British Invasion site: store-bought was a definite no-no, unless of course it was popular as the fabric of choice for casual wear. Different from an independent punk designer. Vivienne Westwood was washes of denim including stonewash, acid wash, dark one such designer who helped create the punk image and wash, and distressed were gaining popularity. Colourful Mod fashion originated from the famous Carnaby Street in whose designs were worn by punk idols the Ramones. Her de- denim was cool, with jeans coming in colours like pink (I London, England. The miniskirt had been invented in 1965 by signs combined the mundane (tartan fabric) with the bizarre had a pink denim jacket when I was seven), green, laven- Mary Quant in London and quickly spread across the globe as (bondage gear), making it all the more shocking to the main- der, and black, as well as the traditional indigo blue. Jeans part of the mod look. Bold, solid colours contrasted by black stream and all the more inviting to the punk rock crowd. were worn baggy for the first half of the ‘90s, and became and white, in graphic patterns and blocks, characterized the ultra-tight later. Also popular were denim overalls, worn clothing. New types of synthetic polymer materials, includ- International influence with or without the straps done up. ing polyester and PVC (polyvinyl chloride), were invented Grunge, originating in Seattle, was beginning to make and used widely for clothing. Mod fashion was introduced to Beginning in the ‘70s, travel to more exotic destinations all itself known on the international scene. Grunge rock- North America by way of the British Invasion, which consisted over the world became easier and more affordable, which ers could be identified by their plaid flannel lumberjack of rock and roll, beat, and pop music, led primarily by the served to broaden the horizons of popular fashion. Those shirts, stonewashed jeans, dark colours, Converse Chuck Beatles. Other popular clothing included Nehru jackets, stove- who did travel brought back ideas and accessories from Taylor sneakers, and long, greasy hair. The style was about pipe pants, and slim-cut suits. abroad. Quilted Chinese and Tibetan jackets joined the Nehru ‘anti-fashion’: followers shopped at army surplus and thrift jacket, still popular since being introduced by the mods in stores, just like their hippie forebears. Layers, including Hippies, protest culture, and the ‘60s. Long, flowing garments from hot countries, such as hooded sweatshirts, were de rigueur, and Doc Martens or psychedelic rock caftans, kimonos, and muumuus became popular for casual army boots completed the ensemble. and leisurewear, usually made in lighter fabrics such as cot- The ‘90s brought a revival of fashions from the ‘70s. ton. Peasant styles worn by hippies were also still present, Bell-bottoms and flares, tie-dye t-shirts, and vests with The late ‘60s were a time of radical social change. The Viet- characterized by full sleeves, peasant blouses and skirts, and fringes regained their popularity, along with newer varia- nam War (which started in 1965) and the racial tension in the ponchos. tions such as belly tops, which were worn primarily by United States sparked both massive protests and cultural up- girls to show off their new navel piercings. Peace signs, heaval, which echoed in the youth fashions of the day. Hippies 1980-1990 smiley faces, and hearts once again emblazoned t-shirts rejected anything mainstream, choosing instead to make their and were appliquéd to jeans, backpacks, and jackets. This own clothes and accessories, or shop at army surplus and Pop culture icons revival continued into the late ‘90s, as hip-hugger flares thrift stores. Girls wore mini- or micro-miniskirts and dresses, became popular, in denim as well as corduroy. as well as peasant blouses and granny dresses, all without bras. The ‘80s were the first years in which the styles of pop culture Hip-hop style was still going strong, characterized by Jeans were ubiquitous: for women, hip-hugger bell-bottoms; icons, especially those seen on TV and in movies, made a far- oversized jerseys, neon track suits, and high-tops, along for men, also bell-bottoms — the grungier, the better. reaching impact. More people were able to buy televisions, with name-brand running shoes like Air Jordan, Reebok, African-inspired textiles were also popular, along with and the advent of MTV and the music video meant that for and Adidas. Many non-athletic-wear designers, such as handmade tie-dyed everything. Other bold patterns were the first time the image of musicians became just as impor- Ralph Lauren, Donna Karen, and Tommy Hilfiger, also used, such as paisley. Anything could be ornamented with tant as their sound. The styles of many more celebrities were began to produce sports-inspired street wear. Anything patches, fringe, beading, and/or appliqué hearts, smiley faces, emulated by youth across the globe. Madonna popularized with a logo was trendy. and peace signs. Hair was long and mostly unkempt, but the street urchin look, which included fingerless lace gloves, headbands were groovy too, and useful for keeping the flow- mini-skirts over leggings, and jelly bracelets. Other styles Late ‘90s — skaters, preps, ers in one’s hair in place. Various styles of boots (including came from popular teen movies of the day, such as Pretty and girl power go-go boots) were worn, and going barefoot was a popular in Pink (1986), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986), Risky Business trend, but it tended to make one’s feet dirty. Therefore, leather (1983), and The Breakfast Club (1985). sandals were worn for all occasions, and helped avoid all the The late-‘90s styles carried on the trends of the early problems associated with going barefoot. The hippie fashions Athletic wear and hip-hop ‘90s, while introducing many new styles, as well as those carried over into the early ‘70s, and continued to influence resurrected from previous decades. Skateboarding was popular fashion for decades to come. The ‘70s trend of stretchy clothing that was easy to move in becoming popular and along with it skate style. Skate continued into the ‘80s in the form of athletic and dancewear. shoes were designed to allow skaters to stay on their Everyday clothes Clothing previously reserved for dancers, like leg warmers, boards, and to be comfortable and protected as well. First leggings, and leotards were now worn as daywear. Also worn produced mainly by independent designers and sold Despite the bold looks that were popular with the trendsetters were oversized sweatshirts with the neck piece cut out, head- in boutiques, once skate style reached the mainstream and the protesters, everyday clothing was still rather conser- bands, and tracksuits. Dance movies such as Fame (1980) and the shoes were in high demand. Those who had never vative, especially for school. Girls wore skirts (which were at Flashdance (1983), and the TV version of Fame (1982) further touched a skateboard were now wearing skate-inspired least knee-length), simple blouses, and cardigan sweaters in popularized the style. hoodies, baggy jeans, and skate shoes. pastel colours, with penny loafers. Belted dresses in a variety Famous athletes like Michael Jordan started promoting Preppy styles of the ‘90s were influenced by the surfing of colours and patterns were also popular. Boys wore button brand-name running shoes (Nike’s Air Jordans, for example) culture of California and Hawaii. Cargo pants and shorts, -down shirts and long pants, although t-shirts and jeans were making them the must-have item for boys in the ‘80s. The as well as pre-faded denim were paired with polo shirts becoming increasingly popular. emergence of hip-hop and rap music led to the popularity of and t-shirts with surf-inspired graphics, or Aloha shirts sportswear brands like Le Coq Sportif, Adidas, Kangol, and for special occasions. Bleached blond hair and puka shell 1970-1980 Nike. Brightly coloured brand-name tracksuits, Doc Martens, necklaces for both girls and boys finished off the look. and bomber jackets, as well as heavy, gold necklaces and ear- The girl power movement of the late ‘90s made it okay Disco fever rings were also common. for girls to wear miniskirts with baby-doll t-shirts and platform boots. T-shirts commonly displayed slogans like Disco styles, like those seen in Saturday Night Fever were all Other significant trends of the ‘80s “Girl Power,” “Daddy’s Girl,” and “Princess.” Although the the rage in the ‘70s. Bell-bottoms in a wide variety of colours movement is thought to have originated with the Riot were popular for both men and women, especially when Grrl movement and girl pop-punk, most people associ- worn with platform boots or shoes. (My mom told me she had Punk had carried over from the 1970s, but in a much more ate it with the Spice Girls, a British all-female pop group a pair of bell-bottoms in yellow denim.) The bright colours limited capacity. Big, loud, gaudy, and bright were the most formed in 1994. Skin-tight flared jeans and pleather (plas- and patterns of the ‘60s were still very popular, especially for prevalent characteristics of ‘80s fashion. The TV show Dynasty tic leather) were also popular with young girls in the late disco shirts and girls’ dresses. Hemlines hit extremes ranging made power suits with shoulder pads, big hair, and the look ‘90s. from the tiny micro-mini to the ankle-length maxi dress. The of ridiculous wealth fashionable. Designer labels like Ralph The fashions of the ‘90s would continue on into the micro-mini was rivaled in revealing legs only by hot pants, Lauren and Calvin Klein were very popular, especially with new millennium, to be joined once again by the revival the teeny tiny shorts commonly seen in disco clubs. Styles the preppy crowd. Also common for preps were baggy blazers of the styles of previous decades. Music and pop cul- became very tight, meaning new fabrics had to stretch to (arms had to be able to be rolled up), Izod shirts with collars ture icons continue to have a significant impact on the make it possible to actually wear the clothes. Enter Spandex up, dress pants, and penny loafers. Acid wash jeans and jean fashions of young people. Further diversification and and Lycra, which made possible skin-tight designs like the jackets, bleached blonde hair, Ray-Bans, high tops, and digital emphasis on individuality are two major trends of today’s halter-neck catsuit. watches were some other trends of the ‘80s. styles. the peak 16 November 5, 2007 FEATURES Crime on campus By Vern May — Assistant Director, Campus Security

We are all affected by crime. Whether or not we have been effort from all members of the community. This includes per cent decrease in thefts of specific intent (ie. break-ins directly impacted as a victim of a criminal act, we are all partnerships with students, staff, and faculty to ensure an and thefts from secured areas) over the past year. This can aware of the incidents taking place within our communi- effective crime reduction and prevention strategy. While be largely attributed to changes in the nightly lock-up pro- ties or university settings. Every occurrence of crime af- the recent Globe and Mail study conducted by the Strate- cedures implemented earlier this year. As a result, in addi- fects our perception of personal safety and influences the gic Council illustrated that the community at SFU rated tion to the noted decrease in theft activity, Campus Secu- decisions we make from day to day. This decision-making their sense of personal safety and security among the rity has been more effective in identifying unauthorized is often reactive in response to crime that we experience or highest of the marks received in the survey, ensuring the persons wandering about the campus at varying times learn about through the media. safety of our community is an ever-present consideration throughout the day and night. To this point in 2007, secu- One of the challenges with proactive security is that when developing security programs. rity has intercepted 135 unauthorized persons and helped while these efforts can have a significant benefit to the them to find their way off campus. community with regard to the community’s perception of One area where theft continues to be a challenge on personal safety, it is difficult to definitively quantify the ef- campus is in the area of opportunity theft. Over the past fectiveness of these measures. While a reduction in crime Opportunity theft four years, Campus Security receives more than 100 re- can be documented, one can never determine exactly how ports per year of items stolen from common areas, or much crime has been deterred. From a business perspec- Recently, there has been a great deal of attention given to a while unattended and unlocked. Thefts commonly include tive, developing and advancing these efforts is sometimes rash of commercial crime occurring on the Burnaby cam- backpacks and purses, laptops, and any item of perceived hard to support in dollars and cents, but the positive ben- pus, with specific regard to vending machines. However, value which can be easily snatched and made mobile with efit to the community can be gauged by residents identify- if might surprise most to learn that while there has been minimal chance of detection. Areas of interest for crimi- ing that they feel safe where they live, work, and study. a short-term increase in property damage of this nature, nals include study areas, cafeterias, the library, and any Campus Security is always evaluating new methods for that theft activity on campus is actually at its lowest point public area where someone’s attention might be diverted crime prevention and recognizes that this requires a team in four years. In fact, trends show that there has been a 29 for a few minutes, including pay phones, vending machines,

Photo illustration by Andy Fang / The Peak the peak FEATURES November 5, 2007 17 and washrooms. If you consider how common it is to see the top 10 cars reported stolen in British Columbia in sciousness, vomiting, brain damage, and even death. someone carrying a backpack or a laptop around campus, 2006. This listing closely mirrors data collected by ICBC To best ensure the safety of the student population, you begin to see how difficult it is to catch the thieves for 2005: Campus Security is involved with all licensed events on responsible for these actions. Theft has a significant finan- campus, often providing staff to assist with crowd control cial impact on the victim, but increasingly we learn about or assist persons leaving the premises or event. On Pub the dangers of identity theft and fraud which continues to Most stolen cars Nights, the Campus Security team is assisted by additional be a growing concern as well. Prevention is an individual 1. Chrysler (Dodge/Plymouth) Caravan/ team members from the Campus Student Patrol to monitor initiative that requires we all get involved. patrons leaving to the Pub and to provide escorts to make Voyager sure that they arrive safely at their buildings in Residence, 2. Honda Civic or to the transit stop as required. Most of the Student Patrol 3. Ford F-Series team are trained in primary first aid and are able to assist Automobile theft 4. Honda Accord with medical situations as they arise. In addition, this extra 5. Chrysler (Dodge/Plymouth) Neon set of eyes and ears helps Campus Security to identify haz- In the Lower Mainland, we are certainly all aware of the ards and mitigate risks for those whose ability to respond frequency of auto theft in our communities. It was only 6. Dodge Ram to such dangers may be impaired by alcohol consumption. five years ago that part of the Greater Vancouver area was 7. Jeep Cherokee We can each play a significant role in ensuring the identified as the car theft capital of North America. Even 8. Toyota Camry safety of ourselves. By approaching some of these topics if most of us are able to prevent having our vehicle stolen, 9. Nissan Pathfinder with a mind for protecting ourselves and our property, we aren’t able to escape the rising costs of auto insurance while actively preventing crime in our community, we each rates. 10. Acura Inegra contribute to the vitality of the campus and our quality of Trends show that auto thefts most commonly occur community. in large parking lots where vehicles may be on-site for extended periods of time, such as at shopping centers, col- leges, sporting events, movie complexes, and large apart- Intoxication ment complexes. Auto theft isn’t exclusive to late-night or early-morning hours, and can occur at any time of the day In a university environment, which is home to licensed or on any day of the week. premises, there are a number of challenges to address to At SFU, our statistics show that this type of crime oc- ensure the personal safety of the campus population, which curs with less frequency than in many other surrounding affects both the student population and the university it- communities, but this has historically been attributed to self. The types of incidents occurring on campus related to the fact that we are so much more segregated from the intoxication may pale in comparison to those which we see rest of Burnaby. However, with the growth of the university happening at licensed premises in the downtown core, but and the adjacent residential development, more and more the concern for public safety is the same. As our campus is people are becoming aware as the community continues more remote than some of the establishments along major to develop, and an increasing number of folks without a city routes, access to public transportation or taxi cabs connection to the university are on-site accessing our fa- may not appear to be as readily available as other sites, cilities, including parking lots. and this can create risk as the perceived inaccessibility of Campus Security has observed that auto crime tends a ride home can have negative consequences. At Campus to occur in waves. These trends suggest that a select group Security, we have responded to reports of intoxicated indi- of individuals are responsible for these crimes over a large viduals who are lost or stranded wandering through cam- area, and that the campus is not specifically targeted over pus buildings or sleeping in common areas, medical calls other centres. On average, each year Campus Security re- when intoxication has led to personal injury, a number of ceives 61 reports of theft from vehicles. Reports of stolen incidents of damage to campus and personal property, and vehicles on campus are relatively low by comparison to also situations involving assault. Burnaby as a whole. On average, we have experienced 15 Alcohol consumption affects people differently. If you reports of stolen automobiles from campus lots per year. choose to drink, it is important to consider how you are In both cases (theft from and theft of autos), these num- affected by alcohol. If you are a non-drinker, you may still bers have significantly declined over the past three years. need to look out for those whose consumption of alcohol In the case of stolen vehicles, the number has dropped may adversely affect them. Once someone has crossed that from 30 thefts in 2005 to five thefts this year. threshold of tolerance, they can run the risk of alcohol poi- According to Statistics Canada, the following list represents soning. Over-consumption of alcohol can lead to uncon- Photo illustration by Andy Fang / The Peak

the peak 18 November 5, 2007 ARTS

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USAGE One Year (start 1.1.07), North America, consumer + trade print, collateral, brochure, direct mail, industrial, video, retail, outdoor, POP, PR, events and internet. ARTS November 5, 2007 19 Food Macaroni and cheese for adults

Christine G. on the rum, while my sister or- potatoes, corn, duck confit, and Louie dered the sweet and fragrant ly- a little pot of sauce. It was a lit- Associate chee martini. tle bland, and the actual taste Staff As for the food, it is reminis- of truffle-scented mashed pota- Contributor cent of the stereotypical student’s toes turned out to be a bit of a diet, but with adult prices, and letdown. My calamari sandwich more elaborate ingredients. It ap- ($14.00) was good, stuffed with Feenie’s Bistro is located at 2563 peared to me that Feenie’s seems breaded squid pieces fresh from West Broadway, Vancouver. to get a kick out of specializing the fryer, nestled next to layers in creating student-type food for of green butter lettuce, fresh red Though Feenie’s is billed as a prices no student could afford. tomato slices, and thin onion ‘West-Coast-casual’ restaurant, I Replacing the American-style slices. I didn’t care for the bun, think the only thing truly casual hot dog, Feenie’s uses a gourmet which was too soft and fell apart about this bistro is the concept cheese smokie, decked out in a while I was eating it, but the behind the restaurant. Created as special bun and designer frites tartar sauce had a great flavour. the polar opposite of its upscale ($9.00). A beef burger has also The fries were the highlight of big brother restaurant, Lumière, become a new high-status food. the meal, ranking as some of the Feenie’s was created to provide Feenie’s again takes a basic con- best I’ve ever had. Hot, crispy, Photos courtesy of Mack Male (above) and Jenn Duchard (below) customers a fun, laid-back din- cept of familiar food (meat and and more heavenly in taste than Feenie’s makes childhood foods classy (and expensive). ing experience. It offers familiar bun), and corrupts it by using mere words can describe, the childhood items, like hot dogs, a 100 per cent certified Angus supreme French fry experience too full to even think of having at the White Spot Express, eating burgers, and macaroni and beef patty, foie gras, and other came with silver pots of ketchup dessert. my $3.50 burger and fries combo cheese, as well as things like the toppings ($41.00). Of course, it and house-made spicy mayon- Would I go back again? Sure, if (Tuesday’s special) and wondering DLT (a duck, lettuce, and tomato comes with frites, which validates naise. The meal was good and my sister the non-student decided what the appeal of a $41.00 burger sandwich). Being a Friday night, the extra cost (yeah, right). very filling; both of us were left to take me again. Otherwise, I’ll be covered in duck liver is. when I visited most people were My sister ordered the but- still dressed in office casual wear, ternut squash ravioli with which matched the pretty dining sage-lemon beurre blanc sauce room and professional service. ($14.00) for us to share. The Tables were covered in soft white homemade ravioli came in quar- linen, candlelight dotted each tets, and was drizzled with cream table, and clear cylinder tumblers sauce, a smash of herbs, and a shimmered with ice water. sprinkle of toasted pine nuts. A basket of sliced French bread The pale, silky filling popped arrived with a big cold pat of but- out onto my tongue, bursting ter. Strong two-ounce cocktails into a bright explosion of sweet were ordered quickly and brought squash. She also ordered the even more promptly. I ordered shepherd’s pie ($17.00), a small Hurricane Frank, a cocktail heavy dish of scented truffle, creamed

cjsf 90.1 fm Theatre WEEKLY TOP 25 RECORDS

1. Sunset Rubdown, Random Spirit Lover (Jagjaguwar) 2. DD/MM/YYYY, Are They Masks? (We Are Busy Bodies) Samurais in Surrey 3. We Are Wolves, Total Magique (Dare To Care Records) 4. Beirut, The Flying Club Cup (Ba Da Bing!) 5. Cloudland Canyon, Silver Tongued Sisyphus (Kranky) 6. Ulrich Schnauss, Goodbye (Domino Recordings Co. Ltd.) Taryn Hubbard sending us back out in that dreary rain, the director, 7. Hrsta, Ghosts Will Come And Kiss Our Eyes (Constellation) The Peak Alaina Holland, offers her play to us plain and sim- 8. Earthless, Rhythms Form A Cosmic Sky (Tee Pee) ple: no lights. We wholeheartedly accepted, which 9. Murcof, Cosmos (The Leaf Label) turned out to be a very good move, because while 10. Various, CBC Radio 3 Breaking New Sound Tour Compilation (CBC) The Middle Path plays at the Surrey Little Theatre the cast and crew were getting ready for the show, 11. Better Friends Than Lovers, Great Loves (Global Symphonic) until November 24. the man running the front of house, Jim Ison, told us 12. Sarah B. Zantingh, Confessions of a Bathroom Drama Queen (Indy) stories. You just never know what you’re going to get 13. Blue Cheer, What Doesn’t Kill You... (Rainman) It’s around 8:00 p.m. and I’m standing in the newly at the Surrey Little Theatre. 14. Proem, A Permanent Solution (n5MD) renovated lobby of the Surrey Little Theatre wait- The Middle Path is a story about samurais, but 15. Devendra Banhart, Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Canyon (XL) ing to see the world debut of Matthew Akira Klip- not the flashy Quentin Tarantino kind. Klippen- 16. Feu Thérèse, Ca Va Cogner (Constellation) penstein’s The Middle Path. Because I arrived at the stein’s samurais live in Japan during 1543, the year 17. Square Root of Margaret, Teragram Photeur (33 1/3 RPM Records) theatre with only 10 minutes before the proverbial firearms were introduced into the country. Centring 18. Electric Six, I Shall Exterminate Everything Around Me That Restricts Me From... (Metropolis!) curtain was scheduled to rise, I’m a little surprised around Hideo (Jason Jang) and his journey towards 19. Prarie Cat, Attacks! (Fuzzy Logic Records) to find myself standing with the mob of other the- becoming the headmaster of the prestigious samu- 20. The Acorn, Glory Hope Mountain (Paper Bag Records) atregoers waiting for the auditorium doors to open. rai school, the play examines the physical and men- 21. Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings, 100 Days, 100 Nights (Daptone Records) This usually isn’t a good sign. tal strength needed for the hero to overcome his 22. Band Of Horses, Cease To Begin (Sub Pop Records) It’s when we are finally allowed to find a seat enemies and obstacles. Equipped with both a sword 23. Wintersleep, Welcome To The Night Sky (Labwork Music) that the technical problem is revealed: the electrical and the sage advice from Soothsayer Yogensha 24. Iron & Wine, The Shepherd’s Dog (Sub Pop Records) board won’t work. This means no special lighting, no (Allan Thain), Hideo prepares for the fight against 25. Super Furry Animals, Hey Venus! (Rough Trade) fancy transitions, and no spotlights on the actors — Takeshi (Scott Johnston) that will ultimately seal his in other words, nothing but the unforgiving fluores- fate as headmaster. Wryly compiled by Ed Blake cent house lights. However, instead of forfeiting the performance, refunding our cheap $13 tickets and Continued on page 20 the peak 20 November 5, 2007 ARTS Television Opening the Dore to comedy

Tina Hassannia and it was a hell of a lot of fun to at all? Does God mind if he mas- CUP Arts Bureau Chief be part of that show,” Dore said. turbates to get a sperm sample for “You can’t compare the two.” a fertility test? God does respond, There’s no point in trying to but Dore shuts him up when he OTTAWA (CUP) — It's hard to find categorize Jon Dore's kind of hu- realizes he doesn’t believe in God funny shows on television outside mour, either, because it can’t re- anyway. of talk shows or cartoons these ally be classified as a typical situa- The show is funny in a snick- days. It’s even worse with Cana- tion- or sketch-comedy show. The ering way, rather than outright dian television. show’s premise revolves around guffaws. There is an amusing, Viewers’ insatiable thirst for Dore exploring a different aspect awkward nature to his 'real' inter- reality television has replaced the of his life in every episode. views. They are staged, to a certain era of the sitcom. Corner Gas and “It’s usually trying to make my- degree, though you can tell that Little Mosque on the Prairie ap- self better, or finding out why I am Dore occasionally improvs his peal to mass audiences because the way I am,” Dore explained. answers. This style of interview is they depict Canadiana so well — He interviews real people to get akin to Da Ali G Show or The Col- the former because of its rural their perspective on the subject — bert Report, but Dore is able to stereotypes, the latter because like doctors, priests, and even his create a fictitious storyline. religious humour is universal For those familiar with Dore’s — but it’s hard to find Canadian When asked why style of stand-up — intelligent comedy that actually pushes the people should watch wordplay peppered with rapid- envelope. fire improv — expect much of the Truly original comedy is more his show, Dore same in Jon Dore, but in a tele- easily found in a comedy club replied, “Because our vision format and with the con- than on the couch. tributions of three other writers. Jon Dore, a once-Ottawa- show has farting, and When asked what kind of comedy based comedian, is hoping to vomiting, and, uh, influenced the writing, Dore said change that with his new Comedy it was a combination of every- it also has music,” Courtesy of the Comedy Network Network show, aptly named The thing he’s done. Jon Dore has crawled from the abyss of to his own show. Jon Dore Television Show. before trailing off. “You have to have some kind of Dore is well known in the na- base knowledge of television, be- tion’s capital for his work as a real-life aunt — to make some im- cause the writing is totally differ- though that is not to say the show “Because we have farting and stand-up comic and a stint as the portant life decisions, which then ent,” Dore said. “You’re not writing doesn’t resort to vulgarity every vomiting,” Dore repeated. “And host of Rogers Television’s Day- result in bizarre shenanigans. set-up punchline jokes . . . you’re once in a while. people in costumes, and swear- time. Dore now lives in Toronto A few of the episodes explore trying to misdirect the audience.” When asked why people ing, and re-enactments of [a] 10- and has made a national name topics like happiness, smok- Perhaps the funniest mo- should watch his show, Dore re- year-old me [with] a beard.” for himself after providing comic ing, STDs, and proving he’s not a ments on Jon Dore come from plied, “Because our show has fart- Fair enough. There’s also the relief in Canadian Idol. problem drinker after peeing in the little pop culture comments, ing, and vomiting, and, uh, it also fact that Jon Dore seems better With his own show, though, his friend’s patio flowerpot. like referencing child-lit author has music,” before trailing off. written than Little Mosque, which is Dore is moving above and beyond In the first episode, Dore is Judy Blume when he greets God Jon Dore is not for fans of more than enough reason to watch the mainstream appeal of his Ca- told by his Aunt Kathy — a regis- with “Are you there, God? It’s me, Canadian Idol, nor advocates the show — past the body sounds nadian Idol gags, but he says to tered nurse — to get tested for in- Margaret,” or when he decides to of Little Mosque on the Prairie. and fluids being emitted onscreen, compare the two shows would be fertility, because Dore had to get become the “Mother Theresa of When asked why people should of course. Here’s hoping Jon Dore comparing apples and oranges. “nut surgery” as a child thanks to fathering.” watch his show rather than the will develop a niche audience and “[Idol] helped me form a rela- a testicle that failed to drop. They might be misdirections, Muslim comedy, Dore seemed prove there is still room for off-the- tionship with the network and the Dore then ponders some deep but these clever quips give the flabbergasted that it was even wall humour on television. production company [Insight], questions: does he want children show a subtle, unique touch, asked. Canadian University Press

The Middle Path to complement one another. Cos- Continued from page 19 tuming is a huge part of the play, considering it is set in feudal Japan. But that’s where Ikari (Alex Luckily, Valerie Neal-Smith did Mossman) comes in. He’s a former a fantastic job designing her cos- apprentice of the school — a fallen tumes, as she successfully clothed student, if you will — who wants every cast member in striking Japa- his rightful place as headmaster nese attire. The entire cast worked of the school, too. I think you can great as an ensemble, particularly see where this is going. It’s pretty Mossman as Ikari. Maybe it was much Star Wars, with much of the because his character was just so same characters and complete perfectly evil that he really came with long fight scenes in the aisles. together in the role. His low whis- The difference in Klippenstein’s pers could fill the entire theatre play is the fact that he wrote it and he definitely encompassed the completely in blank verse — that’s innocent student who crossed over right, the same unrhymed iambic to the dark side perfectly. pentameter that you read in all The Middle Path runs until those Shakespeare plays. While the November 24. I encourage you to purpose for using this style is un- see it; you’ll like the sword fights. I clear, it did make for some beauti- mean, who doesn’t like a good aisle fully written passages, particularly sword fight? It’s also pretty close to for the female characters. the Surrey Campus, in case you’re The performances, directing, looking for something different to Courtesy of Matthew Klippenstein and set were all really well done, do after class instead of going to the Samurais speak in blank verse, paraphrase Star Wars in The Middle Path. with everything working together Central City Brewing Pub again. the peak November 5, 2007

sports editor Chad Klassen e-mail [email protected] Sp o r t s phone 778.782.4560 21 Men’s Basketball Clan drop first two of season

with UBC leading 18-12 in a cally different if SFU had capi- game that still looked hope- talized on its early chances, ful, despite the poor shooting shooting only 26.7 per cent performance of SFU in the first from the field and 1-19 from the quarter. three-point line. A brilliant display of defense Despite the loss, Clark stayed and fast breaks had UBC run- optimistic, pointing out that ning away with a 51-28 half- missed layups and jump shots time lead. SFU failed to convert separated his team from com- easy buckets and as a result peting with UBC, in a game that the Thunderbirds counterat- once again saw the Clan not tacked, led by 4th-year player play to the best of their abili- Matt Rachar (16 points, seven ties. rebounds). SFU showcased an Following the game, Rachar indecisive offense, which forced commented on his Thunder- many shots near the expiring birds’ performance. “I am sur- shot clock. prised with the outcome of this Defensively, the Clan looked game, as we were expecting it to stagnant at times as UBC exe- be quite a bit closer,” he said. cuted at will, with a collection On Friday night, SFU were of baskets within the paint and in Victoria to open the season extending to the three-point against the Vikes. The Clan put line. up a solid effort for 37 of the 40 Head Coach Scott Clark, real- minutes, as a steal and layup izing the game was out of reach, by Nolan Holmes had the Clan rested his fatigued starters and trailing Victoria 66-64 with 2:26 allowed his bench to play the remaining in the fourth quarter. majority of minutes in the third But SFU failed to execute and fourth quarters. down the stretch, and was out- JP Kamand (seven points, scored 13-2 in the final two and four steals) and Eric Burrell a half minutes. (eight points, three rebounds) Clark acknowledged the fact provided a spark off the bench that the final score, a 79-66 win for the Clan, making their lim- for Victoria, was not a good in- ited minutes count as they ex- dication of how the game was Johnson Lee / The Peak hibited great effort, something played. The men have shown some vulnerability with an 0-2 start out of the gates. Back-to-back losses to Victoria that hadn’t been seen by SFU Greg Wallis (18 points, nine and UBC have the Clan winless, but coaches and players remain optimistic in the locker room. since the first quarter. rebounds) and Sean Burke (14 An uneventful fourth quarter points, five assists) once again Brian Barazzuol Columbia and the University of A solid attendance gave the new had both teams exchanging bas- provided strong outings for the The Peak Victoria. SFU West Gym a buzz of hope kets, until the final buzzer rang Clan, despite the loss. After opening the season Fri- and expectation for the Clan. and SFU was handed its second SFU traveled east this week- day on the Island against Victo- However, the T-Birds spoiled loss of the young season, falling end to compete Friday against The Clan fell to a record of 0-2 ria, SFU traveled home Satur- the party with a commanding to the Thunderbirds 92-55. the Brandon Bobcats, followed this weekend, with losses to day morning in anticipation of 92-55 win over the Clan. The overall outcome of the by a game on Saturday evening both the University of British hosting the UBC Thunderbirds. The first quarter finished game could have been drasti- against the Regina Cougars. Women’s Basketball Defending champs off to 2-0 start Clan eager to defend their national title with two wins, including dominant victory over UBC

Chad Klassen a three-pointer, holding UBC scoreless for Island battling Victoria in their season courtesy of Vikes’ new recruit Ryan McKay, Sports Editor about eight and a half minutes to lead 18-5 opener, and triumphed 64-57 to make for who had a 21-point debut. after the first quarter. a pleasant ferry ride home. In the second half, the Vikes were The Clan did not stop there, continu- Despite the win, Head Coach Bruce scrambling to get back into the game and The Clan women’s bas- ing to dominate in the second quarter and Langford said the women “didn’t shoot the slowly ate at the Clan lead on the shoul- ketball team had a suc- leading 38-15 as the teams headed to the ball particularly well, and [needed] to be ders of McKay, who hit a pull-up jump shot cessful opening weekend of its Canada locker rooms for halftime. more efficient and effective when [they to cut the deficit to three points, 49-46, at West schedule, leaving off from last sea- SFU’s defense was stifling for most of had] the ball.” the start of the fourth quarter. son’s championship year with two victo- the night, holding First Team All-CIS guard SFU’s standout was Laurelle Weigl, who However, SFU was able to hold Victoria ries against the UBC Thunderbirds and the Erica McGuinness to a mere five points scored a game-high 26 points, shooting 11- off throughout the fourth to hang onto the University of Victoria Vikes to start 2-0. (1-for-13) and forcing her to turn it over for-14, to lead the Clan to the victory. road win. On Saturday evening, the Clan hosted seven times. The women got off to a quick start and The women traveled across the Prairies their first ever regular-season game in the Offensively, five different players pounced on a lot of the Vikes’ first-quarter over the weekend to face the Brandon Bob- new West Gym, and did not disappoint reached double digits in points in the mistakes. It forced Victoria, who scored a cats and Regina Rams on Friday and Satur- the sold-out crowd with a 73-41 win over 73-41 win. Fifth-year guard Lani Gibbons mere three points in the opening frame, to day, respectively. Check out athletics.sfu.ca UBC. finished with 10 points, seven assists, and change their game plan in order to climb for updated scores and game recaps. The women went on a 16-0 run after five steals. back into the contest. the Thunderbirds opened the scoring with The night before, the Clan were on the SFU did get a late scare from Victoria With files from SFU Sports Information the peak 22 November 5, 2007 SPORTS Campus Spotlight Day in the life of a Clan striker

Dave Roberts Grade 12, I didn’t really want to and he has done really well for The Peak leave home at that point. I’m himself personally. definitely happy that I chose to come here. P: You have had Coach Ellig- Lucas Barrett, the well-spoken ott for your entire time playing men’s soccer player and the P: As one of team’s senior play- here at SFU. How would you rate Clan’s top scorer, sat down with ers, you’ve faced quite a few your relationship with him? The Peak recently for a quick teams. What is your favourite word. team to play against? B: It’s great. There isn’t anyone better suited to run the program The Peak: Give us little back- B: Either UBC or Trinity Western. up here. He has done a great job ground information on your- Those games are always tons of overall, always noticing the little self. fun. Also, my brother plays for things. Dave gets the most out Trinity Western. He plays centre of us in training. I think he has Lucas Barrett: I’ve been playing mid. He is in his first year, so done a fantastic job. soccer for 16 years now, and I he doesn’t get to play a lot, but started playing in Richmond hopefully in a couple years we P: Anything you personally need when I was five. I’ve played will face each other and he will to focus on heading into region- around the Lower Mainland with be on the field for the full game. als and potentially nationals? various teams since then, includ- What about as a team? ing the Whitecaps youth teams P: Coming into this season, what and the Burnaby Under-16 team, goals did you set for yourself? B: Not getting hurt! I had some which won the national champi- What about the team? injury trouble last year so I’m onship. Academically, I’m plan- trying to avoid that. I want to ning on majoring in music and I B: Well, any season I go into, my keep playing like I am right haven’t decided on a minor yet. goal is to score at least one goal now and hopefully I’ll score in every game I play in. It’s pretty some more goals. As a team, P: Who has influenced your ca- difficult — I haven’t done it yet. we need to make sure that we reer in soccer the most? For the team, we definitely set a outwork the opposition. Our goal to have the season that we team is so strong all over the B: There are a few different have had. We hoped to go unde- park and we have a lot of depth. coaches including Coach [Dave] feated, but 13-1-1 isn’t bad! We need to win physical battles Josh Devins / SFU Athletics Elligott, as well as my mom and and hopefully our skill will show Lucas Barrett, the “Stallion,” talked with The Peak about his early my dad. They are huge soccer P: Is there any professional soc- through. soccer career and his experiences with the Clan. fans and have cheered me on cer player that you model your throughout. game off? P: What do you feel are your P: Describe your favourite goal relevant to my degree. I would strengths on the field? that you have scored. keep playing soccer, though, at P: Why did you decide to come B: Now, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, and the highest possible level that I to SFU? before he retired, Gabriel Batis- B: Well, I’m tall, so my aerial B: That’s a tough one, but I think could. I’m never going to stop tuta. Both are great all-around ability comes in useful. I’ve got it was probably the first goal I playing. B: I chose to come to SFU be- strikers with no weaknesses. I a big body, which makes an scored for SFU. We were playing cause I believe it’s the best pro- like how both are really good in easy target for people to send against Humbolt State Univer- P: Finally, where did you get the gram in the country. I loved the the air, just as I try to be. me through. Getting in the right sity, and it was the fourth goal nickname “Stallion?” location because it’s away from positions for people to find me in a 4-0 game. It meant noth- home but not too far away. I’m P: Your regular strike partner with the ball is another strength ing but it was a huge confidence B: [Laughs] During my senior glad I made my choice and I’ve is Justin Carvery. Describe your I feel I have. booster. I was sent on a through year in high school, I came up got two more years of eligibility relationship on the field with ball and I took it to the 18-yard here for a practice to have a left, so I’m really excited. him. P: What is your most embarrass- box. I stopped and looked up, look at the program and I had ing moment in soccer? and then cut the ball to the right a lot more hair than I do now. P: Were you recruited by other B: He is a really quick player, re- and curved it to the top right- One of the players on the team schools? Did you have any inter- ally easy to work off of. He’s a B: During shooting practice, we hand corner. at the time named Rory Fogerty est in going to the U.S. to play? shorter guy and he’s got great moved the nets so they faced the just started calling me Stallion touch. We complement each gym and I managed to shoot the P: What are your future plans? because my hair was waving B: Yeah, UBC expressed interest other. He also plays these great ball so high over the net that it around. It caught on quickly. in me and I got into Trinity West- flicks onto me and they defi- hit the gym wall. Coach Elligot, B: Given the opportunity, I would There are a few players on the ern without even applying to the nitely work. This season, he has who has been with the program love to try out for a professional team that forget my name from school [laughs]. As for the States, nine goals and six assists, so he’s for over 16 years, had never seen team. If that didn’t work out, I time to time, so they just call me I thought about it, but around contributed a lot to the team anything like it. probably would do something Stallion. Sports Shorts Lads given chance to play in nationals Women’s soccer advance to finals on kicks

The men’s soccer team defeated Warner and third goals, respectively, to seal the The SFU women’s soccer team advanced Cavaliers Jennifer Hart tied the match with Pacific College 3-0 and played Concordia- deal. to the NAIA Region I Championship final, a header with just six minutes left, beat- Westminter Saturday in the NAIA Region I The winner of Saturday’s match re- but it took penalty kicks to beat the fourth- ing Clan goalkeeper Cassie Newbrook to Championship title match. ceived an automatic birth to the NAIA Na- ranked Concordia University Cavaliers. knot the score at 1-1 at the end of regula- Josh Bennett opened the scoring for tional Championships. Check out athlet- The Clan won 2-1 (3-2 in the shootout), tion. Extra time didn’t settle the tie, forc- the Clan in the 24th minute to give SFU ics.sfu.ca for the score and recap. and faced Carroll College on Saturday in ing the match into penalty kicks before the the 1-0 halftime lead. Lucas Barrett and the regional title match. Check out athlet- Clan finished the deal with three converted Scott McEachern netted the Clan’s second With files from SFU Sports Information ics.sfu.ca for the score and recap. tries. SFU scored in the first half when striker [email protected] Hailey Rawlings netted the opener. The With files from SFU Sports Information the peak SPORTS November 5, 2007 23 Football SFU suffers at 0-8, yet still hopeful Clan want to end winless streak, excited to prove they can compete in Canada West

Chad Klassen he added. “There are probably 20 players on our to take a look at what we have to offer, has Sports Editor According to fullback Joshua Havey, team that shouldn’t be wearing a college- been tremendous.” building a foundation is the first step to- football jersey. They can’t play at this level. Johnson has been in contact with wards a winning program, and he believes We’re going to allow them to compete, but players from Europe, the southern U.S., SFU witnessed another winless season that Johnson has started to build a strong we can only hold so many [players] on the Ontario, and both high school and junior from its Clan football team — which foundation. team,” said Johnson. football players in the Lower Mainland. finished 0-8 following a 22-0 loss at the He points to the season finale against Havey added, “Because of our recruit- Fourteen players have already committed hands of the third-ranked Manitoba Bi- Manitoba as a sign of great strides and ing from the past and the coaching situ- for the 2008 season. sons last weekend. things to come for the Clansmen. ation, we had a lot of players here that “We’ll win next year. That’s not even a Students continue to joke about and “You really have to be part of the team shouldn’t have been starting that were question,” said Johnson. disregard the football program — for good to understand [the progress]. You can starting, and it’s hard to weed out the Graduating from the program are reason, considering the current 25-game completely sense a different kind of at- weaker links.” Jason Marshall, and receiv- losing streak. titude,” Havey said. With a couple steps up in talent, John- ers Chris Passaglia and Aaron Hargreaves, However, there remains an optimism SFU lost to the Bisons 22-0 compared son believes the program can compete who all complete their senior seasons among players and coaches for the 2008 to last season’s 77-7 debacle — “a com- with the upper echelon of the Canada with the Clan. campaign. plete 180-degree turn,” according to West conference. Johnson predicts that the 6’ 4” Har- “We are winning, just not winning on Havey. He admitted that Calgary dominated greaves will “likely be a first-round draft the scoreboard yet,” noted Head Coach “I hate talking about the past because the Clan in the two contests (a combined choice. We’ve had five CFL teams here.” Dave Johnson, who is excited about the it’s embarrassing, [but] I’m not embar- score of 106-17), but asserts that Sas- Despite the departure of these three prospects of next year. rassed about this season. I don’t like the katchewan didn’t do the same in a 34-6 top players, Coach Johnson is encouraged “We’re not good enough yet, but the fact that we didn’t win, but I’m not em- loss. Johnson believes that Alberta and for next season. amount of work guys did, the work ethic, barrassed. I can’t wait to come out next UBC — two programs that are in rebuild- “The dynamics here are right for a the camaraderie, the team building, [and] year and start beating teams that are sup- ing stages to a lesser extent — are beat- good situation. Let’s be real. I showed up, the expectations in the weight room. posedly the best in our conference,” he able schools from which a couple wins they gave me a broken puzzle and said, ‘I There [are] a ton of wins happening, just added. can come. don’t know what the picture looks like, try not on the scoreboard. I think all the But the bottom line is the Clan needs As far as bringing in more talent, John- to make something.’ I believe that picture things we’re doing are all the pieces that to improve drastically, coaching- and per- son said recruiting season is “awesome. is starting to become recognisable,” he eventually go into a winning program,” sonnel-wise on the field. The reception I’m getting, the willingness concluded.

Today’s post-secondary students need more than a minimum wage job.

The BC government’s proposed changes to our We need post-secondary education system don’t add up. skills and Students won’t get access to the skills and knowledge they knowledge to need to get ahead because the government’s Campus 2020 Plan fails to fix the key problems of affordability and access. build our future. Our students deserve better. Their futures depend on it. That's why post-secondary POST-SECONDARY EDUCATION education works for us! BETTER FUNDING. Gara Pruesse, Ph.D. PROFESSOR Malaspina BETTER FUTURES. University College Tell Premier Campbell to invest in BC’s future.

Federation of Post-Secondary Educators

Find out more. Click on www.takeaction.fpse.ca WWW.WORKINGDESIGN.NET 2007 MONA KAYELLO PHOTOGRAPHY WWW.WORKINGDESIGN.NET 2007 PHOTOGRAPHY MONA KAYELLO

the peak 24 November 5, 2007 SPORTS CFL Playoff Preview Lions to rest, wait for opponent B.C. poised to capture back-to-back for the first time in their history

Chad Klassen Early offensive struggles were re- Sports Editor solved by the play of , who has rushed for 1,482 yards and 18 on the ground. It’s that time of year, when the Smith had the chance to break leaves have fallen off the trees and Mike Pringle’s single-season rush- the cold November breeze has ing TD record (19) over the week- made its presence felt across the end against Calgary. country. B.C. have a bye week to practice It is time for the CFL playoffs, and watch film, and then will pre- with some intriguing matchups set pare for the winner of the Western to take place Sunday in Saskatch- Semifinal this Sunday in Saskatch- ewan in the West and in either ewan (1:00 p.m. PST, CBC). Toronto or Winnipeg in the East, The Roughriders will host the depending on what happened this in the first last weekend in what was the final playoff game at the new Mosaic week of the regular season. Stadium at Taylor Field since 1988, when Saskatchewan lost to the Western Division Lions 42-18. Two weekends ago, it was B.C. Last year, it was Calgary playing defeating the lowly Tigercats 27-19 host to the semifinal game against to wrap up its fourth consecutive the Roughriders, but the Stamps bye into the Western Final, which were beaten 30-21 as Kenton Keith will take place November 18 at B.C. ran wild on the Stamps’ defense Place Stadium. that sunny November afternoon. The Lions have definitely be- While Saskatchewan is without come the class of the West in the Keith, who is now playing with the Courtesy of sportsillustrated.cnn.com last five seasons under the leader- NFL’s Indianapolis Colts, the team Lions have the bye to the Western Final, and will no doubt tune in to the Western Semifinal on Sunday, as ship of Head Coach and General definitely has the advantage enter- the host their first home playoff game since 1988 against Calgary. Manager , and are the ing the contest with their Most Out- clear favourites to capture the West- standing Player candidate Kerry Jo- would see Calgary play at a level first half, but the Argos, led by Mi- three games with a left shoulder in- ern Division title and win back-to- seph at quarterback as well as other suitable to feeble Hamilton. chael Bishop, put a string of wins jury, and just getting the news last back Grey Cups for the first time in offensive weapons like Wes Cates in In fact, the team was beaten together late to climb back in the week that his wife has cancer. their history. the backfield and Matt Dominguez 24-20 by the Tigercats on Septem- race, and eventually take over first According to Popp, “it’s more The Leos have suffered injuries at receiver for the Green and White. ber 21, and lost its starting quarter- place before the weekend finale than likely Anthony’s season is at quarterback with the concus- The Stampeders, on the other back in the process. against the Riders. over.” Without Calvillo in the lineup, sion to early in the hand, have been inconsistent at Calgary played musical chairs For the Bluebombers, they it’s unlikely that Montreal will be year, forcing the team to start third- best this season. One week the at quarterback due to the injury of hosted the struggling Montreal able to muster much offense when stringer the rest of Stamps looked content at challeng- Burris during the middle stretch Alouettes in their season finale, they play on the road in the Eastern the way. ing B.C. for the Western Division of the season. Backups needing to win and hoping for a Semifinal. But the team didn’t miss a beat. title, and then the next week fans and were terrible under Toronto loss to clinch first. It’s a team that has fallen off the centre, and the team struggled as a Winnipeg has had their best face of the earth ever since Don result. season in a few years, despite a late- Matthews left late last season, cul- Burris has been back in the season debacle that saw the team minating in their fourth Grey Cup lineup for Calgary’s last three con- lose four of its last six games. loss in seven seasons to B.C. last tests, but the team hasn’t been able The Bluebombers have Kevin year. to return to their early season form Glenn — the Eastern nominee for The Alouettes are the “Buffalo when it was labeled as one of con- Most Outstanding Player — and re- Bills of the CFL” with that resumé, tenders in the West. ceiver , who remains a and now have followed what the Expect another Lions-Riders deep threat for the Blue and Gold Bills did after their four trips to the Western Final. The two teams will with his speed, causing problems Super Bowl — absolutely nothing. most likely face off for the third in the secondary, even at 37. Montreal has seemed to just Do aphrodisiacs really work? time in four seasons under the Depending on which Winnipeg fall apart as a franchise, and the Throughout history many have sought out special foods, drinks, drugs and Dome, with B.C. taking both West- team shows up in the playoffs, the team needs to rebuild. Don’t expect chemicals to spice up their sex lives. Named after Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess ern Finals (2004, 2006) over Sas- Bombers have a legitimate shot at much from the Als in the Eastern of Sensuality, “aphrodisiacs” are agents which supposedly increase sexual desire and performance. However, studies conducted by the U.S. Food and Drug Agency katchewan in the two meetings. representing the East in the Grey Semifinal. report that there is no scientific evidence that aphrodisiacs live up to their claims. Cup. The West, however, is too In the end, it will likely be an Where did these myths come from? Spicy foods can raise your heart rate and produce sweating – a reaction similar to that experienced during a hot sexual Eastern Division strong for an upset this year. Argos-Bluebombers Eastern Final encounter. Other foods received their “aphrodisiac” status due to their rarity. In the East, the situation was still The only variable set in stone — no matter where it is played. For instance, chocolate was once deemed the ultimate aphrodisiac until it became more widely available. Some “aphrodisiacs” can actually be quite undecided entering this weekend’s was third place, which belongs to dangerous. Although the legendary Spanish Fly (made from dried beetle remains) action. The held the , which will increases blood flow to the penis or vulva, this can often be painful. More importantly, it is poisonous and with prolonged use can even be fatal. Drugs and first place after defeating Winnipeg travel to either Toronto or Winni- alcohol have also been used as aphrodisiacs for their effect on mood and inhibitions. 16-8 at home last Saturday, and it peg for the Eastern Semifinal on This in itself does not enhance libido, but in large quantities can actually decrease desire and performance and have other harmful side effects. Although aphrodisiacs all came down to the final week- Sunday (4:00 p.m. PST, CBC). lack scientific backing, the mind is a powerful thing. There may be a certain appeal end. Montreal has gone through to playing with food or trying new things to spice up your sex life. There is nothing The Argos were in Saskatch- some hardships this season under wrong with indulging your taste buds before having sex. Just be sure you are purchasing your “aphrodisiac” from a reputable store and you know all the ewan on Saturday to face a tough GM and first-year Head Coach Jim ingredients are safe. If you want to share a little chocolate before your next Western Division opponent in the Popp, having lost five of six games bedroom encounter, then go for it! Roughriders, trying to clinch first before beating Calgary 33-32 a few HEALTH Candid Conversations gives you non-judgemental, straight forward and factual answers to your questions about relationships, sexuality and sexual health. Answers are compiled with place in the East for the second weekends back. & COUNSELLING the advice of a qualified health professional. SERVICES time in three years. The team’s been without start- Courtesy of lionbackers.com Toronto started the 2007 sea- ing quarterback Most Leos look to add a second students.sfu.ca/health son slowly with a 3-6 record in the for parts of the season, missing ring to their collection. the peak November 5, 2007

humour editor Kellen Powell e-mail [email protected] Hu m o u r phone 778.782.4560 25 Haiku Circus Ken Sakamoto

HUMOUR

Happy (Belated) Halloween Stephen Cudmore

Breadmonster Minardi

the peak 26 November 5, 2007 ETC

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the peak ETC November 5, 2007 27 ...TXT MSGS www.peak. COLUMNIST ELECTIONS Got something to say in 60 words or less? E-mail it to SEE YOUR NAME IN PRINT: [email protected], include on campus sfu.ca/ TXT MSG in the subject line. Submissions must include your 2:30 P.M. WED. NOV. 14 full name and your student events number. The Peak will not print Upcoming Events classifieds.html submissions considered to be Peak Collective Meetings every Wednes- day at 2:30, MBC 2901 underneath Higher sexist, racist, or homophobic, Grounds. Come and get involved, yell at us, or attacks of a personal nature. praise us, sit on an ugly orange couch. Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) meet- One submission per student ing for worship & study. All welcome. SFU ALL STUDENTS ARE ENCOURAGED TO RUN! per week. Outreach. Call Al at 604-298-2510 for info. 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the peak 28 November 5, 2007 LAST WORD

By Graham Templeton Religion never changes

2007 is the 45th anniversary of the release of the oral Yes. The Catholic Church that once seemed so quaint polio vaccine. Forty-five years have passed since polio in our secular society is no longer content to prey on the has been easily and cheaply preventable. The worldwide ignorance of the world’s least-fortunate regions by claim- charitable distribution of the polio vaccine has been ing that condoms are laced with holes, utterly ineffective, called the current generation’s ultimate act of kindness. and, of course, a one-way ticket to eternal torture. They However, there are still currently four countries re- have now graduated to actively promulgating the bewil- maining in which polio has not been eradicated: India, dering idea that birth control and AIDS mediation actu- Pakistan, Nigeria, and Afghanistan. It must, therefore, ally cause AIDS. Now, if we somehow manage to get past be a matter of only months before these four are also the gobsmacking inanity of lacing anti-AIDS medication added to the list of nations no longer forced to watch with HIV, we still come up against the alleged motivation their fellow citizens crippled and killed by this horrible driving these unnamed European devils. In the arch- degenerative disease. Or will it be longer? bishop’s own words, it is the goal of these hypothetical The fact is that these four nations have had no short- murderers “to finish quickly the African people.” age of free, easy access to the vaccine. In fact, Nigeria This runs through the entirety of religious belief. has seen the widespread dissemination of the vaccine Travel to any decent-sized population of orthodox Jews, paid for in full by the charitable donations of other and you’ll probably come up against at least a couple of countries. Charity workers and local townships saw to references to the disgusting and pedophilic rite of peri’ah it that no Nigerian had to walk far to arrive at his or her metsitsa, in which a mohel sucks the freshly severed fore- free local vaccination site. If all it takes is a short trip skin from the penis of a baby Jewish boy. Because of their and a couple drops of liquid on the tongue to eliminate deranged beliefs about pre-marital sex, Christians in our polio, why hasn’t this happened yet? very own country have recently been fighting the in- The most plausible answer is religion. These, the oculation against the human papilloma virus, which can most uniformly religious nations on earth, began to drastically reduce the rates of cervical cancer. Only reli- resist treatment after vaccination commenced with a gion could devalue human life to the point that a parent rather underwhelming turnout for the first round of would view cervical tumors as a valid deterrent to under- drops. The second round of drops, which seal the im- age sex. And don’t think for a moment that the Eastern munization deal, saw even lower participation. polytheisms and the Asian spiritualities are blameless in This was because mullahs of the outer townships this regard, either. If you’re interested, and have a strong and the small cities were spreading fear. The vaccine, stomach, look into what was going on in pre-invasion they claimed, was a Western ploy and, more specifically, Tibet, back when the Buddhists had control of the coun- a stratagem against Muslims. It contained chemicals de- try. signed to make its recipients infertile and, even worse, The basic thesis is this: these are not misuses of re- was a source of AIDS. For countries with unlimited trust ligion; these are not basic human faults being pushed in their religious leaders — countries wracked even through the religious filter. These are actions caused by more severely by AIDS than polio — the mullahs’ ru- religion, done for religion, and continued because of mours were all the convincing people needed to reject Courtesy of wikipedia.org religion. It is certainly true, if you happen to be religious, the vaccine. Perhaps there was also a hint of determin- Asclepius, the Greek god of healing, holds a staff with that your version of faith is potentially better than the ex- ism thrown in as well — a rather Christian sense of the a snake wrapped round, which has become the modern amples given above because you are less of a fundamen- impropriety of fighting a disease sent from God him- symbol of medicine. talist. But that hardly seems to be an argument in favour self. of religion. If religion becomes progressively better as it National health workers have spent the past few Let’s skip time frames from the recent past to the becomes more diluted by secular reason, then religion decades raging against this social dilemma. The work- present. Let’s change religions from Islam to Christian- is the poison and basic humanity is the cure. And while ers wander through towns where they come face-to- ity. Let’s swap epidemics from polio to AIDS and ram- your rather benign, castrated version of the true faith is face with the broken and jittering forms of children pant, insupportable pregnancy rates. unlikely to spawn any suicide bombers, you still hitch deformed by polio. They have to come to terms with On September 26 of this year, Catholic Archbishop your ideological wagon to these fools and murderers. the fact that the vaccine capable of saving an infected Francisco Chimoio made an announcement to his con- And yet, people act put-off when I sneer at SFU’s child has been freely available to the child’s parents long stituency in Mozambique that went beyond the famil- newly expanded Interfaith Centre. Here’s a news flash: since the child was born. iar Catholic view that condoms are both sinful and so long as your nonsensical philosophical beliefs con- This is what religion does. All four countries that ineffective. Being rather bolder than usual, he argued, tinue to be the main source of misery in the world, you’ll resist the oral polio vaccine do so because of their reli- in a manner similar to the Muslim leaders mentioned not get to have the market cornered on outrage. I claim gious leaders’ ignorance. But this religious tendency to above, that both European condoms and anti-AIDS the right to be offended by your hateful fantasy, and I victimize its own adherents is certainly not limited to retroviral medication were being deliberately spiked absolutely refuse to silently accept the proposition that the world’s second-largest monotheism. with HIV. religion is deserving of respect.

Last Word Policy The opinions presented here are the author’s, and do not necessarily reflect those of The Peak. This space is here for the exchange of ideas and opinions. Articles should be 800-1,000 words. For more information, call Paul Hiebert at 778.782.4560 or e-mail [email protected]. Say anything, the last word is yours! the peak