MASARYK UNIVERSITY

FACULTY OF EDUCATION

Department of English Language and Literature

Coming Out in the Novels of Aciman and Albertalli

Bachelor Thesis

Brno 2020

Supervisor: Mgr. Jiří Šalamoun, Ph.D. Author: Lucie Kopřivová Anotace Práce je zaměřená na sexuální identitu a takzvaný "coming-outu" u mladých lidí. Změřuje se zejména na postavy vyobrazené v knihách "Probuzení Simona Spiera" a "Dej mi své jméno". Zjistíme take vice o coming outu jako takovém a o některých aspektech života LGBTQ+ komunity. Hlavní otázkou práce ja jek se liší prožití toho, když hrdina projde coming outem a když to o něm zjistí ostatní a jak to změní jejich život.

Abstract The focus of the thesis is the sexual identity and so called amongst youth, specifically as it is depicted in the novels "Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda" and "Call Me by Your Name". The thesis will also cover the basic principles of coming out and some aspects of life as a LGBTQ+ member. The underlining question we are trying to answer is. How does the experience of being discovered or coming out as queer in the two novels differ and how does it change the life of the protagonist. Klíčová slova

Gay, Dej mi své jméno, Probuzení Simona Spiera, Elio, Blue, Oliver, probuzení, Blue Keywords Gay, LGBTQ, Homosexual, Elio, Oliver, Simon, Novel, Queer, call me by your name, Simon vs the homosapiens agenda, coming out Prohlášení

Prohlašuji, že jsem bakalářskou práci vypracovala samostatně, s využitím pouze citovaných pramenů, dalších informací a zdrojů v souladu s Disciplinárním řádem pro studenty Pedagogické fakulty Masarykovy univerzity a se zákonem č. 121/2000 Sb., o právu autorském, o právech souvisejících s právem autorským a o změně některých zákonů (autorský zákon), ve znění pozdějších předpisů."

Declaration

I declare that I worked independently on this Bachelor thesis, with only using resources, other information and sources in agreement with the Disciplinary rules for students of the Faculty of Education of the Masaryk University, and with the act No. 121/2000 Sb., on the Copyright Act, on Rights related to Copyright Act and on Amendment of Certain Acts (the Copyright Act), as amended.

In Brno, 2020

Lucie Kopřivová Acknowledgments Here I would like to thank Mgr. Jin Salamoun, Ph.D. for suffering through this ordeal that was my Bachelor thesis and being such a nice and amazing teacher as he was during my studies. Contents

1. Introduction 6 2. Theoretical Part 7 2.1. What is a YA novel? 7 2.2. YA Gay-Novels 9 2.3. The Coming-out novel 11 2.4. Coming Out Results: Positive and Negative 12 2.5. Religion and LGBTQ+themes 13 2.6. Authors of books with LGBTQ+ themes (André Aciman and Becky Albertalli) 15 3. Practical Part 20 3.1. Coming out in "Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda" 20 3.2. Coming out in "Call Me by Your Name" 25 4. Conclusion 30 5. Sources 32 1. Introduction

As a long-time supporter and ally of the LGBTQ+ community as well as a frequent consumer of YA novels there were times, I contemplated whether a good-quality novel of such genre would find its way to me. To my surprise, in the recent years, two books that meet such standards were released. One being "Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda" by Becky Albertalli while the other being "Call me by your name" by Andre Aciman. While they both deal with a similar base theme, that being the relationship of a same-sex couple from the perspective of a teenage non-experienced young man. There are some striking key differences in the books.

In this thesis I will touch on these differences while also introducing the many similarities these two books imminently share. Amongst others these topics will include the importance of setting of the novels, both time and place-wise, the family's stand to the main character's sexuality, the process of accepting ones passionate feelings for another man, the complicated relationship between the main character and a close female character and most importantly the process of coming out, be it being forcibly outed or on the other hand not having to deal with such a process at all.

There were many reasons why I was drawn to this topic. As a person with many friends in the LGBTQ+ community that does not belong to the community itself I feel a certain fascination but also a huge burden. While it is my priority to understand their experience, it will never be an entirely authentic one. These two books share a fascinating connection that was possibly one of the reasons why it was somewhat easier for me to relate to the stories and characters. Both the novels were written by straight adults that share the same passion for the cause as I do but know enough insider information about the topic from their professional work-fields that allows them to embody and then share these stories authentically. Which is a fascinating phenomenon in of itself. Can we dismiss or accept their authenticity solely based on the writer's gender and sexuality?

In the theoretical part I will first explore what defines a YA novel than the history of a YA gay-novel itself, follow that by the phenomenon of coming out in such novels and end with the hardships the LGBTQ+ community had to go through historically but often still has to deal with today in regards to their acceptance in the public eye and the enormous toll the result of a coming-out has on many people's lives. 2. Theoretical Part

2.1. What is a YA novel?

This chapter will introduce the history and definition of a YA novel and how it differs from a traditional novel. According to Jenkins (1998), coming-of-age stories have been a staple of western literature for centuries but "young adult" novels that were marketed as such started appearing only during 1940s and 1950s when teenagers emerged and became a distinct group of consumers at the time.

The "Teenager" that we know today did not really exist and wasn't recognized until the post-Depression era. That does not mean that children simply skipped adolescence and went straight from childhood to adulthood before that. It only means that between 1940s and 1950s teenagers became a recognizable and important life-stage with its own fashion, music, needs and rituals. (Cosgrove, 2013)

Simply enough teens started to have money to spend, and the advertising companies began to see them as a unique market opportunity. Marketers started studying their buying habits and created advertisement and products specifically catered to their demographic. Be it, fashion, music, magazines or books. (France, 2015)

Historically speaking it is not surprising that a teenager was not a widely recognized life stage as in the past children were expected to work from a young age following which, girls married very early on and boys often enlisted in the military since there was always a war to fight. This technically created young boys and girls that were practically viewed as adults and did not leave any room left for them to experience the joys and challenges of their own adolescence since they were expected to deal with much bigger problems. Only later did the classic middle-class family appear. Having dealt with all the hardships themselves, raising their children blissful and ignorant. As a LIFE magazine article by Nina Leen from the year 1944 states:

"Some 6,000,000 U.S. teen-age girls live in a world all their own — a lovely, gay, enthusiastic, funny and blissful society almost untouched by the war. It is a world of sweaters and skirts and bobby sox and loafers, of hair worn long, of eye-glass rims painted red with nail polish, of high school boys no yet gone to war. It is world still devoted to parents who are pals even if they use the telephone too much. It is a world of Vergil's Aeneid, second-year French and plane geometry, of class plays, field hockey, "moron" jokes and put-on accents. It is a world of slumber parties and the Hit Parade, of peanut butter and popcorn and the endless collecting of menus and match covers and little stuffed animals."

Since the 1960s the label of young adult (YA) literature has been most commonly applied to fiction with a young adult protagonist that centers on the development and life- centered issues that are commonly associated with adolescence and is created and advertised specifically to a teenage audience. Teenage readers will read a variety of genres but there is a specific narrative form that is very strongly associated with YA fiction as a whole. A young adult novel involving contemporary social issues told from the perspective of a teen protagonist. These stories and novels are members of a sub-category of a YA novel referred to as "contemporary realism" or "problem novels". (Jenkins, 1998)

Some of the pivotal titles of early YA literature in the 1960s were S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders, Ann Head's Mr. and Mrs. Bo Jo Jones and Paul Zindel's The Pigman. As Jenkins (1998) states. These novels were characterized by unidealized characters and settings, plots that dealt with realistic problems and did not necessarily end with a happy ending. Which shows that these novels were indeed part of the so called "new realism".

One of the most important ones would have to be The Outsiders. At a time when a novel typically read by the young adult audience was about as Hilton herself stated "Mary Jane went to prom." It was a breath of fresh air that a different kind of novel emerged. One that was not afraid of portraying a realistic depiction of adolescence including all the smoking and drinking. Most importantly tough as (Peck, 2007) also states "The Outsiders" was a story "for teenagers, about teenagers, written by a teenager." As Hinton was only 17 years old when she published it. As (Michaud, 2014) mentions, before The Outsiders there was no YA novels market to speak of. Hinton's book was published by an adult-fiction publisher and basically reinvented the game. As much as everyone else, teenagers were eager for true authentic representation. When they got it with Hinton's novel, a new demand emerged that required a suitable supply of new kinds of novels.

The end of the 1960s was subsequently also the time when a very important topic appears in a YA novel for the first time, as 1969 marks the release of John Donovan's "'11 Get There. It Better Be Worth the Trip". As (Jenkins, 1998) states, it was the first-time and the social prejudice against gays and emerged in a novel for a teenage audience. It was also the first novel to specifically address homosexuality in the life of young adults. 2.2. YA Gay-Novels

In this chapter we will elaborate more on the topic of YA novels with LGBTQ+ characters and themes. As mentioned earlier the first notable specifically YA novel addressing the LGBTQ+ theme and characters was John Donovan's "'11 Get There. It Better Be Worth the Trip". Since as (Cart, 2015) mentions the year 1969 marks not only the release of this novel but consequently the year 's Stonewall Rebellion took place, which is often viewed as the start of the modern gay/ rights movement in the US. It was essentially the best time for the book to be released as according to (Jenkins, 1998) activists took the novel under their wing and many reviews essentially applauded the portrayal of same-sex love and anti-gay prejudice in a YA novel this openly. Being a young adult novel though was also the biggest hurdle for the book as both (Jenkins, 1998) and (Cart, 2015) mention, since many were concerned with the danger of showcasing signs of same-sex love to young readers, in which it could arise "unnecessary interest or alarm".

"11 Get There. It Better Be Worth the Trip" Is a story of a thirteen-year-old Davy, his beloved dog Fred and best friend Altschuler. The two boys accidentally kiss and Davy struggles to understand or comprehend his feelings and what such an act might mean. The moment of the two boys kissing is projected as follows in the book:

I guess I kiss Altschuler and he kisses me. It isn't like that dumb kiss I gave Mary Lou Gerrity in Massachusetts before I left. It just happens. And when it stops, we sit up and turn away from each other. Fred has trotted off, maybe tired of both of us by now. "Boy," I say. "What was that about?" "I don't know," Altschuler answers. We get up, and we avoid looking at each other. When our eyes meet, we laugh, but not like before. (Donovan, 1969 p. 143)

As (Cart, 2015) mentions the book gave faces to the previously omitted and invisible people of the LGBTQ+ community. They were finally represented. Unfortunately, how Donovan decided to continue-on with the plot, by killing-off the beloved dog Fred in an accident while the two boys were kissing, and the following guilt that Davy felt, gave birth to a the according to (Cart, 2015) unfortunate tendency to punish the protagonists who dared to give expression to such love in subsequent novels. Some examples to pinpoint this trend according to (Cart, 2015) would be the character of McLeod from Isabelle Holland's "The Man Without a Face" which is widely considered as the second YA novel with LGBT content. McLeod dies from a fatal coronary and is thus punished, even though he never encouraged the other character's feelings. Another example would be the two boys who fall in love in Sandra Scoppettone's "Trying Hard to Hear You". When discovered while making-out one of the boys decides to prove to their friends how straight he is and takes a girl out. Which results in his subsequent death in a car crash.

As both (Cart, 2015) and (Jenkins, 1998) mention it is quite easy to notice a trend in YA LGBT literature in the 1970s and early 1980s. It was certainly not a good time to be an LGBT character. No happy-endings in sight, death and despair were the only things awaiting such a relationship in a novel. It wasn't until the 1982's "Annie on My Mind" by Nancy Garden which was on all accounts the first lesbian YA story with a happy ending. While on the topic of lesbian representation, according to (Jenkins, 1998) and her extensive research and analysis of the characters in YA LGBTQ novels. There was a prominent difference between the ratio of books involving gay characters to lesbian characters which was roughly three to one. This showcases that fascinatingly, people have been more accepting of the idea and depiction of a same-sex gay couple than of a lesbian one. "Annie on My Mind" was revolutionary in another aspect as well. It was the first true love story and showcased that same-sex relationships were not only about sex and physicality but about true love as well. This was something, that was according to (Cart, 2015) also beautifully portrayed in Francesca Lia Block' novel "Weetzie Bat" from the year 1989. While the main character is not a member of the LGBTQ community (she isn't a lesbian) her two best friends are a gay couple whose beautiful romantic love for each other shines throughout the novel. M.E. Kerr's "Deliver Us from Evie" also took the example of "Annie on My Mind" and gave the queer characters a happy ending.

When it comes to the number of the LGBTQ novels released through the years the number has been steadily rising. According to (Waters, 2016) about nine books or about one each year were released during the 1970s than in 1990s it rose to about seven books per year. In the recent years the number climbed up towards about fifty novels per year. By 1992 about sixty YA novels with LGBTQ characters were released. Although a big portion of the novels have only a LGBTQ supporting character. If we were to count only novels where an LGBTQ character is the protagonist, the number would be significantly smaller. 2.3. The Coming-out novel

The focus of this chapter is going to be the "Coming-out novel" as well as coming out in YA LGBTQ novels in general. Firstly though, I would like to establish what a coming out is. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary's definition, to come out is to "openly declare one's homosexuality" or to "declare oneself especially in public utterance". Or in the words of (Solomon, 2015):

"Coming out is a commonly used term referring to the process during which individuals with alternative sexual orientations must explore, define, and disclose their sexual orientations in a way that straight individuals need not."

Quoting (Xhonneux, 2012) there is no one definition of a coming out experience in novels. However, there are two fundamental characteristics that define it. Coming out stories are for the most part presented as truthful pictures of LGBTQ hero's or heroine's life. As a result, they are often presented as autobiographies (Saxey 2008, 35-36). A coming out story also typically ends with the protagonist finding his/her true self and achieving his/her "true" identity.

A good coming out novel though, according to (Gross, 2013) shouldn't focus only on the act of coming out but should instead be able to present them as a part of an intriguing larger and well-thought-out dramatic narratives. It is important to note that as (Gross ,2013) mentions that: "Coming-out stories don't unfold in a vacuum, and nor do teens' own lives." The best books do not just focus on the characters' sexual identity but know them as real people and colorful characters that go through various struggles, ups and downs and have a life outside of their sexual identity as LGBTQ+ characters. Beautifully expressed by (Gross, 2013) "Queer kids are more than just their designated letter of the alphabet, and their stories—coming out and otherwise—should reflect that." Some examples of contemporary coming out novels would be Brent Hartinger's "Geography Club", "A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend" by Emily Horner or the very much famous David Levithan's semi- utopian "Boy Meets Boy" which is set in an idealistic environment with no prejudice against same-sex relationships. Some other examples of good quality coming out novels would be Jeanette Winterson's "Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit" or the classic British novel "Zami: A New Spelling of My Name" by Audre Lorde.

2.4. Coming Out Results: Positive and Negative

In this chapter I will specifically explore some of the hardships and stigma the LGBTQ+ community can deal with following the act of coming out and/or prior to it. In multiple cases not being able to undergo it whatsoever owing to various circumstances. The act of coming out often seen as a liberating experience can have many downsides. According to the American Psychological Association (APA; 2012): "The particular experiences of sexual minority individuals can vary widely based on ethnicity, socioeconomic status (SES), age cohort, and cultural norms, among other things, and individuals could have numerous reasons for not disclosing their identity."

One of the examples of a very difficult situation regarding one's sexuality is the toll the revelation of a non-heterosexual identity could have on a person's professionally career. One of the professional careers heavily influenced by this problematic is working in the field of education. According to (Johnson, 2012), herself a lesbian educator: "Exposing one's sexual identity to students can have serious negative effects on one's teaching experience and one's personal life. Among other problems, it can result in the neutralizing of the LGBT teacher's classroom authority. Even worse, the cost of coming out may include being fired."

Both (Johnson, 2012) and (Solomon, 2015) mention the fact that the stress of remaining and leading a double life can be associated with many health concerns such as anxiety, headaches or depression. There is however an abundance of research indicating that coming out can have a both a positive or a negative impact on wellbeing. According to (Solomon, 2015) the act of coming out was in many cases proven to reduce psychological distress and to have a positive impact on the familial, intimate and personal relationships of the individual. However, following the act of coming out, the stigma related to LGB status can predispose LGBTQs to a number of negative outcomes including depression and suicidality It is a very singular unique experience of each and every closeted LGBTQ+ person whether the pros concerning the act of coming out outweigh the cons or vice versa. Also mentioned by (Solomon, 2015) are the several social factors that may be affecting not only the decision of an individual to come out but also the outcome of such act. These include the amount of social discrimination and bullying experienced by or encountered by the individual. Family reactions to coming out and generally to the topic of homosexuality are one of the most common cases of stress for the young closeted individuals. The individual's ethnicity may be also one of the factors as some ethnic groups are historically more prone to acceptance and others to refusal of the LGBTQ individual's sexual identity's revelation as in coming out.

As a whole, the experience of coming out should not be a traumatizing experience for those that unfortunately have to go through it to be true to themselves but more often than not still is.

2.5. Religion and LGBTQ+ themes

Countless people of various religious beliefs come out or realize that they are a part of the LGBTQ+ community in their life but the most spread out religions Christianity and Islam are both guilty of using particular interpretations of religious texts from both the Bible and Quran to back up their belief that LGBTQ+ relationships are a sin. Making the life of the people find themselves in such a situation, very difficult. We shall now consider several real-life stories, from people that have had to deal with such a situation in person. (Gander)

In an interview by the Independent a gay Muslim corporate finance manager Tamoor Ali mentions about the relationship of his faith and his sexuality that "I was always worried about how the faith community would react given there is no active dialogue or visible figure heads. What I have found is that it's not the religion but the community that drives a lot of those fears. "

There is also a fairly common misconception about religion and being a part of the LGBTQ+ community as Abbey Thornton, a lesbian catholic college student mentions in the same interview.

" People presume if I'm actively LGBT+ and proud of it that my faith is not overly important to me. The assumption that you can't be both is made by both communities. In reality, I really care about my relationship with God and my faith is important to me, and I know now that being who I am and being with who I love doesn't invalidate that. " (Gander)

Another important message that we shall consider is from Luke Dowding, a devoted Christian of the Evangelical Church as he says

"I've never been in a position in which I've been able to doubt the existence of God (much to my great annoyance at times) and so leaving my faith group was not an option for me. I had to learn how to reconcile the two as essential parts of my character and identity. I am no more gay than I am a Christian, no more a Christian than I am gay. " (Gander)

In about seventy-four countries being a queer person is still considered illegal. Countless countries only holding onto such ancient beliefs owing to the religiousness of the nation. (Gander)

An important topic to address when it comes to religion and the LGBTQ+ youth is the so-called . Which is initially a set of not specified practices that should lead to the conversion of people's sexuality to fit the heterosexual mold. These practices would range from psychologically based talk therapy to physical abuse and electroshock therapy. It is a horrifying matter that many people have to go through. (Nichols)

In an interview with Huffington Post a nineteen-year-old survivor of one such conversion therapy attempted to describe the two-step conversion program that he had to go through.

"The first step is where they "deconstruct us as a person. " Their tactics still haunt me. Aversion therapy, shock therapy, harassment and occasional physical abuse. Their goal was to get us to hate ourselves for being LGBTQ, and they knew what they were doing.... The second step of the program, they "rebuilt us in their image. " They removed us of everything that made us a unique person, and instead made us a walking, talking, robot for Jesus. They retaught us everything we knew. How to eat, talk, walk, dress, believe, even breathe. We were no longer people at the end of the program. " (Nichols)

Such mental and physical toll on people can often result in many of these young LGBTQ+ members taking their own lives as they lose all hope start and hating everything about themselves, owing to the conversion therapy's results. All that in the name of God and religion. (Nichols)

One of the worst parts of this whole inhumane ordeal is the fact that many of these people who perform the procedures are not licensed or in any other way regulated by the government in what they should or should not be doing. No matter how important your religion might be to you, it is safe to say that such inhumane practices as conversion therapy should have been banned a long time ago. A hugely important fact to point out is the fact that the idea of conversion therapy is baseless and false. It does not actually work in any way shape or form.

2.6. Authors of books with LGBTQ+ themes (André Aciman and Becky Albertalli)

While both André Aciman (CUNY) and Becky Albertalli (Paperclip Magazine) wrote at this point more than one book with LGBTQ+ themes, neither of the two is in fact part of the group themselves. (Ians, 2019) (Albertalli, about) Both though, share a motivation to tell such stories. André Aciman is an immigrant living in the United States as he was originally born in Egypt in the year 1968. He did spend, however the majority of his life outside his homeland as when he was fifteen years old the family moved to Italy and after spending four years there until he was around nineteen, the family moved again. This time to New York city in the United States of America where he resides to this day. (Carey, 2008)

Aciman is a well-educated man as he boast a B.A from Comparative literature from his studies at Lehman College and both M.A and Ph.D in Comparative Literature from Harvard University. (CUNY) In 1996 Aciman published his first work, his memoir "Out of Egypt" depicting his life, upbringing and journey from an Egyptian immigrant to a College professor in the United States. (Carey, 2008) as Aciman teaches Comparative literature at The City University of New York. His previous employments were amongst others teaching positions at Princeton University and Bard College. (CUNY)

Speaking of Aciman and his heritage, in an article in the Business Standard (Ians, 2019) Aciman mentions "As I am a foreigner, I have to watch myself. I am very fussy with the subjunctive (which almost nobody uses in English), so I have to be careful. I have to write sentences that challenge the very boundaries of English." In this article Aciman also claims that while he himself is not like any of his characters specifically, he is also all of them at once as he uses his memories, life experiences and fantasies to tell all of his stories as he claims to be more comfortable with writing about topics and places close to him as it allows him to "become the person I am not" and coincidentally says "I am looking to reconcile, to find who I am and who I could never become. Because the way life and history move sometimes, they interfere with our own trajectory. So, I have an emotional trajectory that goes its own way and my lived trajectory is this way. They don't necessarily correspond," (Ians,2019) (Carey,2008)

Sexuality is a prolific theme in the works of Aciman which corresponds with his choice to portray his characters in the most authentic way as he says, "I wanted their sexuality to be explored accurately and didn't want to make it foggy." Which Aciman claims about the relationship of Elio and Oliver in his novel "Call me by your name" One of the things Aciman also mentions is that in his novels he does not put any weight on the gender of his characters and the gender of their romantic partners, "All things are enigmatic, because the protagonist doesn't know, like most of us don't know what our sexuality is. To give it a name is to turn it into a fact, which I hate." Which he mentions about the characters in his book "Enigma Variations". (Ians, 2019)

Andre Aciman is an author of several diverse works. From the first, his 1996 memoir "Out of Egypt" to collections of Essays "False Papers: Essays on Exile" and "Memory and Alibis: Essays on Elsewhere" and to possibly most notably five novels "Call Me by Your Name", "Eight White Nights", "Harvard Square", "Enigma Variations" and his most recent novel the sequel to 2007 novel "Call Me by Your Name" called "Find Me". (CUNY) (Ians,2019)

It can be notably said that the idea for Aciman's most well-known novel "Call Me by Your Name" came from his childhood in Italy and his desire to go back and see it again as he says "I woke up one morning, and I wanted to be in Italy at that moment. It was a confluence of very desiring thoughts that worked themselves into something - I didn't know what to do." (Carey, 2008)

Becky Albertalli was born Rebecca Albertalli in a suburb in Atlanta, Georgia on November 17, 1982. Albertalli's passion for writing came to fruition at a very early age as she has been writing short stories since she was a preschooler and used a Lurlene McDaniel novel at the tender age of twelve to write and direct her first play. (Albertalli, about) As a teenager her passions also included the Harry Potter novels and Japanese Anime. Both influences can be spotted in her debut novel "Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda" as in chapter five the main character Simon dresses up as a "dementor" for the Halloween party (a notable villainous creature from the Harry Potter lore) while one of the supporting characters Leah dresses up as Tohru Honda (the main character of a well-known anime series called Fruits Basket). (Albertalli, 2015)

Albertalli, a well-educated woman herself, spent her college years and earned her B.A at the "Wesleyan University" majoring in Psychology as hard sciences were never a strong point for her. (Albertalli, about) While studying in Connecticut, the College's University partnerships allowed Albertalli to study abroad in Scotland at the acclaimed "University of St. Andrews". (WU) Following graduation Albertalli moved to Washington D.C to finish her M.A and Psy.D in Clinical Psychology at "The George Washington University". (Linkedin)

While earning her doctorate Albertalli did an internship at the "Clayton Center Behavioral Health Services" which she followed by employment as a Clinical Psychologist for Children at the "Kingsbury Center's Day School" in Washington D.C. (Linkedin) While working there Albertalli also led a support group for gender nonconforming children at a Unitarian church near Washington D.C. (Townsend, 2018)

Albertalli has not had a long literary career, having published her first novel in 2015. Regardless of the fact she has managed to fill this short time span of roughly four-and-a-half years with three full solo-novels "Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda" and its two spin-offs "The Upside of Unrequited" and her newest addition "Leah on the Offbeat". (Jarema, 2018) While writing solo in this "Simonverse" as she named it. (a shared universe her three solo books are all based in) Albertalli managed to co-write two other full novels. The former of the two "What If It's Us" was co-written with a prolific YA author Adam Silvera. The latter "Yes No Maybe So" was co-written with another well-versed YA author Aisha Saeed and is to come out in early 2020. (Albertalli, books)

Although the two authors do not mirror each other's approaches there are significant similarities in some of their inspirations while writing. Let us take the settings of the authors' most notable novels "Call Me by Your Name" in Aciman's case and "Simon" (for short) in Albertalli's case. Knowing the locations of the authors' upbringing it is fairly simple to pinpoint the similarities. Aciman, having spent his teenage years in Southern Italy (Carrey, 2008) and the book's setting being Italian riviera (Aciman, 2007) speaks for itself, just as does Albertalli having grown up in a suburb in Atlanta (Albertalli, about) and the character of Simon living in one such Atlanta suburb. (Albertalli, 2015). These personal experiences, growing up at the exact same spot and walking those same streets as their characters are a significant advantage for both authors. As Aciman lovingly describes the Italian riviera, the piazzas of Rome and the tiny dark alleys in the book. It is a familiarity that feels authentic because it is. (Aciman, 2007) One can only assume the number of times he himself as a teenage boy walked through these spots during his four-year-long stay. (Carrey, 2008) When it comes to Albertalli as she claims in an interview "Simon's suburb is a thinly veiled version of my hometown, and even his high school was closely based on my own." Reflecting on the fact that setting the story in such a familiar space was a big help and almost served as an anchor when writing she also claims "That being said, the Atlanta suburbs ended up being the most perfect backdrop to this story." As when Albertalli went on to describe her hometown of Atlanta in a more detailed way as being a fairly liberal city with progressive tendencies, she also mentioned however that unfortunately "many of the suburbs are among the most conservative districts of the country." (Whyte, 2015)

A very interesting toping is the inspiration behind the two authors' decision to portray a homosexual main lead character and the following gay romance that ensued. In Albertalli's case the story of her debut novel "Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda" and the main character Simon were as she mentioned hugely influenced by her work in the specialized support group, as well as her own authentic experiences saying "There were many inspirations for Simon, some of which are drawn from my own experiences as a teenager" and also mentioned that "Simon's a little older than the kids in my group, and he's not modelled after anyone in particular. That being said, he faces some similar stressors; for example, bullying, microaggressions, and pressure to keep an aspect of his identity under wraps." (Townsend, 2018) Albertalli mentioned over-all taking a lot of experience from her work as a child psychologist and specifically with the LGBTQ+ community and the family members of such children. She further claims to be feeling a responsibility because such a story might be very impactful and important to certain individuals. (Estrada, 2018) Which could explain her ultimate choice of a main gay lead character. As mentioned earlier, Albertalli's own high school years were an important well of knowledge and experience to build on. As Albertalli happily revealed "Simon is a teen version of me," describing how Simon is very much nervous about changes, loves different exciting experiences but overall is fearful about the change of status quo and only wishes for everything to stay normal. Which according to Albertalli basically describes herself as a teenager. Furthermore, some of Albertalli's actual experiences in life found their way into the book and were lived through by Simon. (Stolle,

2018) An example of one such story would be of young Becky in 7th grade, running away from a date at a Bat Mitzvah since she discovered the boy was going to ask her to dance, which she resolved by hiding in the toilet-stall in the restroom. An action that is almost mimicked by Simon at his prom date.

Aciman's choice of a gay romance and a young gay male character was not a coincidence either. When writing "Call Me by Your name" at the very beginning the couple was a heterosexual one. The creative process and the story were not challenging enough for Aciman that way though as he explains "An adolescent girl and adolescent boy presented a situation that was quite ordinary, but an adolescent drawn to someone of his same sex presented all manner of psychological hurdles, and that is what I love to write about." (Petter, 2019) A key difference in approach between the two authors can be seen in Aciman's complete exclusion of any outside elements that could hinder the romance. These as he describes them "predictable villains" of almost any LGBTQ+ love story such as ADDS, homophobia, mockery or violence were not in any shape or form included in the book as those were not the factors that "stirred him to write the story in the first place". A beautiful quote by Aciman sums up how he feels about homosexual relationships in general and will continue to portray them as such in his further works reads as such, "People know they're gay and nobody thinks twice about it, which is how it should be - and I have to say, in the world I live in, this is how it is." (Crisell, 2019) 3. Practical Part

3.1. Coming out in "Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda"

When it comes to the coming out itself in the books, it is a fairly complicated issue. Let us focus on one of the books at first. That being "Simon vs the Homosapiens Agenda". The setting of the story is about a 2015 suburb in Atlanta, Georgia. Simon being a sixteen-year-old teenage boy, one of three siblings. The eldest being Alice and youngest being Nora. His parents are fairly liberal. Mother is a psychologist and father a self- proclaimed "hipster-dad". Both very loving, open-minded, and understanding. The topic of religion is not an issue in this family as none of the members belong to any religious group. Considering the circumstances, Simon's starting position in the world is a great one. One with support from all sides, a contemporary setting and very importantly the geographical setting as the general advancement in human acceptance is at the highest ever level.

The main character and narrator of the story is the titular Simon. At the very beginning of the novel we can safely assume that the only two people who know of Simon's secret (the fact that he is gay) are him and his e-mail pen-pal Blue (a fellow gay teenager). The catch is that even though Simon confessed his secret to Blue and so did Blue to Simon one could argue that it does not technically count as both Simon and Blue are hiding their actual identity from each other and are using anonymous nicknames to communicate. All in fear of being found out. This fragile status quo however, changes drastically when an unfortunate accident occurs. Simon, being as impatient as he is, fails to sign out of a public computer in the school library after using it to check his email. This small mistake however takes a very dark turn as it basically triggers a forced coming out on Simon's part since a classmate of his uses the newfound information from Simon's email as an efficient way to blackmail him. Either he has to help Martin get together with one of his female friends, Abby or he will get publicly exposed and his email correspondence will be shared on the web. (Albertalli, 2015)

When suddenly faced with a thread of a forced coming out Simon surprisingly does not seem afraid. As when Martin (the blackmailer) mentions. "It's pretty obvious that you don't want people to know." Simon thinks "I mean I guess I don't. Except the whole coming out thing doesn't really scare me. I don't think it scares me. It's a giant holy box of awkwardness and I won't pretend I'm looking forward to it. But it probably wouldn't be the end of the world. Not for me." (Albertalli, 2015)

As an individual Simon is fairly sure of his own self, his identity and his sexual preferences. When discussing his homosexuality with his friend Blue in the book, he mentions having weird dreams about certain male actors or the fact that he had three girlfriends during his life but as far as intimacy goes they never even got to a kiss as he for example managed to leave one of those poor girls stranded at a dance as soon as she hinted at the possibility of any physical interaction by hiding in the restroom stalls for the remaining duration of the dance. (Albertalli, 2015)

During about the first half of the novel, neither our gay protagonist nor his pen-pal Blue have however, willingly come out to anyone themselves except for each other. Not even their closest family members. This status quo changes during the Holiday season though when Blue bravely decides to come out to his parents which is more complicated than may seem as his situation depicts the hardships of gay youth with divorced parents. In chapter twelve of the novel Blue informs Simon of his idea to finally come out to his father when he is in town to visit him over the weekend as they are doing their "traditional Hotel Hanukkah." And also mentions that his father will make him open about eight presents in a row which as he puts it "just drives home the fact that I won't see him again until New Year's." Which resolves into his decision to "double down on the awkward factor and turn this mess into a coming out thing" as he puts it. (Albertalli, 2015)

This decision is very much fueled by the fact that Simon and Blue are getting closer and sharing a side of themselves that they could not discuss with anybody else up till now. This brings to the surface the basic meaning of the powerful phrase that "coming out" is. According to the Macmillan dictionary "to come out" is amongst other things "to say something in an open, honest or public way that often makes someone feel surprised, embarrassed, or offended" (Come out, n.d.)

Finally knowing what it feels like to be able to more or less freely discuss this part of themselves with someone, not surprisingly sparks up the urge to share it with more people. In Blue's case, his father. Unfortunately, the pressure of such secret possibly changing your life altogether, stops him at the last minute. Pointing out even more the hardship of having divorced parents in this instance Blue points out that failing to tell his father right now, could be a good thing in the end, as there is a possibility that his mother could get hurt by not being the first to know. When it came to both his parents though, what Blue feared the most were his parents' religious beliefs as he points out.

"It gets complicated when you bring religion into the equation. Technically, Jews and Episcopalians are supposed to be gay-friendly, but it's hard to really know how that applies to your own parents. Like, you read about these gay kids with really churchy Catholic parents, and the parents end up doing PFLAG and Pride Parades and everything. And then you hear about parents who are totally fine with homosexuality, but can't handle it when their own kid comes out. You just never know. " (Albertalli, 2015)

He does however finally build up the courage to tell his mother not long after. An effort that is rewarded with a calm loving acceptance followed by most of the mother's concerns revolving around the topic of, as he directly quotes "Practicing Safe Sex Every Time, Including Oral." (Albertalli, 2015)

As a matter of fact, the remark that Blue has in the novel about religion is a very common problem, as religion is a big factor in many families for not accepting the identity and/or of one's child. Such a story was beautifully and with great care and attention to detail, been depicted in the 2016 novel ": A Memoir" by Garrard Conley and it follows the author's mesmerizing life story described as follows.

"The son of a Baptist pastor and deeply embedded in church life in small town Arkansas, as a young man Garrard Conley was terrified and conflicted about his sexuality. When Garrard was a nineteen-year-old college student, he was outed to his parents, and was forced to make a life-changing decision: either agree to attend a church- supported conversion therapy program that promised to "cure" him of homosexuality; or risk losing family, friends, and the God he had prayed to every day of his life. " (Conley)

Simon's road to his first official intentional coming out is a bit rockier and influenced by Martin the blackmailer but happens roughly around the same time as Blue's. As time went by, and as Simon had in the duration of it, not made any real effort to link Martin and his good female friend Abby, consequences were inevitable, and Simon was threatened yet again. A situation he resolved within himself by arranging a set of study get-togethers for all three of them. Feeling guilty for forcing impromptu dates with his blackmailer on his friend as well as being influenced by Blue's coming out to his mom, Simon decided, following one such date, to share his long-hidden secret with Abby and come out to her. (Albertalli, 2015)

An interesting point to mention is that following an awkward coming out sitting with his father that the already-in-the-know mom made happen for Blue, Simon had a very interesting thought, namely.

"Don 'tyou think everyone should have to come out? Why is straight the default? Everyone should have to declare one way or another, and it should be this big awkward thing whether you're straight, gay, bi, or whatever. " (Albertalli, 2015)

This thought, as simple as it might seem is intuitively the base of the novel itself. The fear that both boys share, of the potential refusal of a part of their self by those most close to them is an unfair construct shaped by the society's "default standard" as they themselves called it. An argument to make would surely be that right now, in the twenty first century it is way easier than ever before to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community (in most advanced countries that is). And a coming out or a homosexual orientation are not a life-threatening trait. Nevertheless, it is still a huge step and a mental toll on all in the LGBTQ+ community that had to go through it.

Another unfortunate inevitable obstacle that the two boys in the novel face is the fact that from the very beginning their relationship is based on secrets. They do not actually know each other or in more exact terms do not know each other's identity in the real world, outside of their email correspondence, except for the fact that they are aware of being the students at the same high school. Taking such measures as using specifically created anonymous email accounts and nicknames and paying extra attention not to mention even a slight hint at their real identity in any of the emails. (Albertalli, 2015)

They are actually faced with another completely separate coming out of sorts that involves sharing their real-life identity with each other. Such an obstacle in a budding internet-based romance has another unforeseen layer to it. Both parties have to agree to it. Simon faces a problem at a certain point when his feelings for Blue outgrow the anonymity, and as such he inevitably starts forcing this "coming out" to happen while also carelessly dropping hints about himself in the emails. All of which escalates when he writes. "So, here's the thing. I've been typing and deleting this and trying to think of a better way to phrase this. I don't know. I'm just going to come out and say it: I want to know who you are. I think we should meet in person. " (Albertalli, 2015)

We can notice the subtle use of "come out" in one of the sentences. A multi-meaning phrasal verb that serves as a confirmation of the message this request is serving.

Before anything could happen as a result of this confession, the novel showcases us the worst of the worst when it comes to the agenda of coming out. Following Simon's not- exactly-subtle displays of affection for Abby and vice-versa partially influenced by his coming out to her and their trust and closeness that got stronger than ever before, combined with Simon's lack of trying to help Martin (the blackmailer) get together with her resulted in Martin doing exactly what he said he would do. Anonymously Simon and humiliating him in front of the whole school during Christmas break through a post on a community website the school's student use to anonymously share secrets. (Albertalli, 2015)

This deed of pure evil forced Simon to come out to every single one of those closest to him. Either because they have seen the post already and he merely confirmed it to them and as a result was robbed of the opportunity to tell them in his own words. Or because at that point when a part of his family knew already following the post, he just got it over with and shared it with everybody else in his house.

Having been denied the basic right to come out on his own terms though, Simon's feelings and feelings of all those that have experienced something similar in relation to their coming out were best described by Simon as he refused the apology that he was given by Martin upon returning back to School. An apology that involved the sentence "I just seriously didn't think it would be such a big deal." Simon countered by following.

"You don't get to say it's not a big thing. This is a big fucking thing okay? This was supposed to be-this is mine. I'm supposed to decide when and where and who knows and how I want to say it. " (Albertalli, 2015)

No matter how forced, impromptu, unplanned, or unwanted the coming out of Simon Spier was. The overwhelming reaction of everyone close and important to him was pure loving, non-judgmental acceptance. Something that is as beautiful as it is important. Be it now or be it in the future. One small setback that Simon faces at school after he is exposed as gay is an impromptu sketch a small number of the school's students perform in the school cafeteria to make fun of Simon. An inexcusable behavior on their part that is then rightfully punished and followed by an overwhelming proposal of support from a big number of the students present.

An unforeseen problem soon arises when it comes to Simon's other female friend Leah. Being his friend of six years, the expectation would be for Simon to choose her as the first or at least one of the first people to know of his sexuality. Simon choosing Abby instead (a friend of roughly only six months) hurts Leah, damaging the years of trust she thought they had built together. Which Simon counters by claiming some of the most important things about coming out to those closest to you, the inevitable change that I brings and the fear that it sparks.

"It is not about trusting her more. Yes, it was easier to tell her. You guys know me better than anyone. You know me too well. And no, I don't have that kind of history with Abby but that's what made it easier. There's this huge part of me, and I'm still trying it on. And I don't know how it fits together. How Ifit together. It's like a new version of me. I just needed someone who would run with that. " (Albertalli, 2015)

Finally, "coming out" to each other as their true real-life selves Blue and Simon close up the circle of all of these different revelations and have one of those fairytale romances and a happy ending that the romantic in all of us strives for.

A coming out novel such as this one has a very important part in shaping today's youth and society. The idea that no matter who we are, who we love or how we look we can be accepted and loved by those that matter.

3.2. Coming out in "Call Me by Your Name"

As a much more scholarly-written novel the story of the protagonist Elio and his love interest Oliver has countless layers and an unusual depth. This is not a teenage love story. This is an attempt at deep understanding of one's sexuality. It is a story of desire and lust that is so powerful it is scary with age not being a constraint, Oliver being twenty-four and Elio being seventeen.

The setting of this novel is 1983s Italian riviera. Elio our main protagonist has very open-minded, intellectual and artistically and scholarly inclined parents. His father being a shy academic that despite all this enjoys and welcomes multiple guests at almost every lunch and dinner and invites young scholars to spend the whole summer for free at his villa. Helping each to write a manuscript worth publishing and enlisting their help with his own research. His mother an Italian woman, who supports her son and encourages Elio to live life to the fullest. Elio is an only child and even as a teenager his interests are mostly influenced by his parents, making them a much more sophisticated set of hobbies than one would expect from a boy his age. Poetry, transcribing, playing, and composing classical music and reading are not exactly the most common interests of teenagers even in the 1980s.

An important point to make would be the fact that the word gay is not used, not even once in the whole novel. As a matter of fact, no label at all is used in describing the relationships and people in the story. I would contribute this to the author's desire, to create a completely accepting world where no labels are important. This attitude on his part is clearly depicted in an interview comment he made, stating "All things are enigmatic, because the protagonist doesn't know, like most of us don't know what our sexuality is. To give it a name is to turn it into a fact, which I hate." (Ians, 2015)

Being used to the fact that his father invites a new visitor every summer to spend a whole six weeks at their Italian villa, Elio expected as usual not to be challenged in any way by this newcomer that Oliver was as he uttered a phrase that described his feelings. "This summer's houseguest. Another bore." (Aciman, 2007)

Elio being a very introverted and shy person is fascinated by Oliver's carefree indifferent attitude that can be either very cold or suddenly very cheerful. Every single goodbye said in Oliver's signature "Later!" sparks annoyance and passion at the same time.

A coming out in the traditional sense is not something Elio has to really think about or worry about as only by almost the very end of the novel he is faced with his father's opinions. Most of the novel focuses on an internal battle that Elio has with himself and the "coming out" of what his own feelings for Oliver mean to him.

Oliver was not making the situation much easier for Elio with his actions. Ranging starting random conversations to proposing a jog or a swim together every morning which as he put it was because "The alternation between running and swimming was simply his routine in graduate school." Steely gaze alternated with requests for songs, silence alternated with questions of interest. (Aciman, 2007) In a particularly interesting scene involving a tennis match Oliver decided to suddenly grip and massage Elio's shoulder. An action that led to utmost fear and confusion on Elio's side that triggered an emergency escape of sorts as he tried his hardest to hide his emotions that were triggered at that moment saying

"I was so spellbound that I wrenched myself from his touch, because a moment longer and I would have slackened like one of those tiny wooden toys whose gimp-legged body collapses as soon as the mainsprings are touched. " (Aciman, 2007)

Elio's internal struggle with his feelings and thoughts is an underlining motive in the novel. His inability to express himself without exposing his thought or as he puts it "I didn't't know how to speak code or speak at all for that matter." Symbolizing his fear and problems with expressing himself and is also very apparent in this extract where he mentions "Even the most spluttered nonsense, was preferable to silence. Silence would expose me. But what was certain to expose me even more was my struggle to overcome it in front of others. " It, the lingering desire. (Aciman, 2007)

Elio hesitates often in the book to act up on his feelings and wants nothing more than for Oliver not to remove the hands from his shoulders but instead slipps away in fear thinking "Why have I swooned. And could it happen so easily-just let him touch me somewhere and I'd totally go limp and will-less? And why wouldn't Ishow him how like butter I was? "for which he himself has an answer "I was afraid of what might happen then? Or was I afraid he would have laughed a me, told everyone or ignored the whole thing on the pretext I was too young to know what I was doing? "(Aciman, 2007)

Coming out or accepting oneself in front of the others can be surprisingly linked to the shared religious beliefs of both Elio and Oliver. Oliver is a proud Jewish man who showcases his affliction to the religion by a beautiful dainty golden necklace with the star of David clearly hanging from it no matter where he goes, what country he is in or whatever the circumstance. Elio on the other hand is a as he says, "Jew of discretion" choosing to wear his Judaism "under the shirt, not hidden but tucked away." (Aciman, 2007)

Elio being a young teenage guy whose upbringing and subsequent interests made him wiser for his age soon realized that the attraction he feels is something special and that he is in fact most probably on a bisexual scale as he says "I was still under the illusion that, barring what I'd read in books, inferredfrom rumors, and overheard in bawdy talk over, no one my age had ever wanted to be both man and woman-with men and women. I had wanted other men my age before and had slept with women. " (Aciman, 2007)

Such a "coming out" to yourself is just as important and necessary as sharing your identity with the world. It can be even harder so, to at first admit your own sexuality or identity to yourself. Clearly visible in this scene is also the fact that no matter how much Elio contemplates his sexuality and makes assumptions and guesses, he never explicitly uses any label, staying consistent with the author's vision.

In Elio and Oliver's case it took them a long time, many walks, bike rides, swims, lunches and conversations to finally get to a kiss. Unfortunately, the results were not favorable as Oliver rejected any further advances from Elio's side after that.

Oliver later admitting that he had done so as he was afraid that he wouldn't be good for Elio. An action that sparked Elio to not be sure of himself once more following which upon the recommendation of this parents he pursued a relationship of sorts with a girl his age Marzia, their dates mostly consisting of sex and not that much of romantic endeavors as Elio slowly tried persuading himself that he did not care about Oliver. (Aciman, 2007)

Following a conversation with Marzia, Elio realized that the way he got her attention was partially complete indifference and that he was not the only shy person seeming that maybe Oliver was too shy to pursue him head on as he said "Perhaps I'd been ignoring every one of her signals on purpose: to draw her out. This shy and ineffectual call strategy. Only then, by a ricochet mechanism that totally surprised me, did it hit me. Had Oliver been doing the same with me? Intentionally ignoring me all the time, the better to draw me in? Wasn't this what he'd implied when he said he'd seen through my own attempts to ignore him? " (Aciman, 2007)

Following such realizations and realizing that no matter how hard he would try and tell himself that Marzia is a good choice, his soul and his whole being would crave Oliver. His closeness, his attention, his affection, his humor and the never changing "later!" A quick note under the door and a reconciliation later the newly made couple had come out to each other. With their feelings, their selves and sharing that from day one they both knew but both chose to hide their feelings due to fear of not being good enough, both fueled by misunderstandings such as the shoulder massage incident, first kiss incident and any awkward conversation in between. (Aciman, 2007) The unfortunate thing was that it took them so long to get to a point of understanding and trust to do this, that they were only left with ten days of Oliver's stay at that point. A showcase of how much it takes to give in to your desire and realize yourself that if you love someone, it should not matter who it was.

During their whirlwind lustful romance over those next ten days, even going to Rome together as a parting trip the couple never once faced any judgement, comment, bad look or issues of any kind. Showcasing once more a fairytale version of the society where nobody would even bat an eyelash and one can love and be whomever he pleases.

Upon arrival back home and having bid farewell to Oliver for the foreseeable future Elio's father has one of the most beautiful speeches of acceptance and pure love regarding Elio's relationship with Oliver. It is a speech that any child coming out to their parents or having come out already and introducing their partner, should hear. Elio's father goes on to say.

"You two had a nice friendship. You 're too smart not to know how rare, how special, what you two had was. What you two had had everything and nothing to do with intelligence. He was god, and you were both lucky to have found each other, because you two are good. "

That he masterfully follows by.

"Look. You had a beautiful friendship. Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you. In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away, or pray that their sons land on their feet soon enough. But I am not such a parent. In your place, If there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don't snuff it out, don't be brutal with it.

Only to give some of the best advice one could ask for.

"I have come close, but I never had what you had. Something always held me back or stood in the way. How you live your life is your business. But remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. "

This beautiful, encouraging speech again drives home the author's desire to create a world where as he says "People know they're gay and nobody thinks twice about it, which is how it should be - and I have to say, in the world I live in, this is how it is." (Crisell, 2019) 4. Conclusion

We learnt that the life of a LGBTQ youth throughout history was not an easy one and, in many aspects, still is not even in this day and age. The birth of the Gay-novel and its sister the YA-gay-novel almost mirror the development as they go through significant changes of the "common themes" throughout the years. Ranging from sad, depressing, gritty stories that depicted the real hardships and lack of acceptance also included were the lustful, dirty, sexual, identity-awakening stories and more recently the happy, romantic, fluffy stories with a happy- ending straight from a fairytale.

Some of the hardships we have learned about were the religious reasons from which many face prosecution and aversion to this day. One of the worst examples of religions intervention in the sexual identity awakening has to be the conversion therapy many Christian LGBTQ+ had to horribly suffer through.

In addition, we have discovered that coming out is a very personal experience with countless different outcomes ranging from acceptance, support, and love to disowning, hate and misery. Some facing the consequences of an unplanned coming out by losing a job or a position due to the general wariness many still have when dealing with members of the LGBTQ+ community. Be the outcome good or bad, we have learned that it is unfair and insulting to force a coming out from somebody or forcefully reveal them to anyone. It is a personal right that all the members of the LGBTQ+ community have.

Now let us focus on the question at hand. How does the coming out experience differ in the case of out two chosen novels.

As mentioned, Simon has many coming outs throughout the novel. The first happening before the novel even started, as he came out to his anonymous pen-pal. All the others are triggered by a blackmailing attempt and happen as a result of the actions and decisions that directly follow it. As we have discovered, fear of being "outed" by force and not on his own terms actually sparks the bravery in Simon to come out to one of his friends on his own. A decision that causes many problems in the following story. One such problem being the mere choice of the friend on Simon's part. Being faced with sharing his secret with someone he knows too well or with someone close, yet new, without the added baggage. Simon chooses the easier option for him. Hurting his long-time friends in the process. Being then "outed" to the whole school by his blackmailer, Simon deals with fear and loss. A loss of his own decision to share his secret, a loss of his old identity and the creation of a new publicly known one that he is not prepared for.

Simon's life does not change dramatically following all the coming outs he has to go through. His friends stay by his side, his parents still love him, and his identity gets only slightly altered. What the experience does for him is genuinely change his life for the better as he is now proud and honest with himself and everyone around him and as a bonus he can now proudly flounce the love of his life to the whole world.

Amongst other things Simon and Elio share a worry when it comes to their chosen love interests. They are both afraid of rejection based on the fact that, embracing them would mean coming out to the world as well. It is not just a personal thing at that moment, it is a decision that involves the life of two different individuals and neither Simon nor Elio are sure if their counterparts are ready to face the light of day technically "outed" by them and their relationship.

How is then the coming out experience depicted in the second novel? Elio's journey in the book is one of self-discovery. Differently from Simon, Elio first has to deal with himself. He has to, in a way, come out to himself and embrace his own desires and identity and conquer his shyness to be able to fully embrace himself and the love he feels for Oliver.

Elio deals with his insecurities and his doubts by initially using the affection of a girl. Only to slowly but surely realize that no matter how much he would try. His love and attraction to Oliver are a fact he cannot change.

The words of Elio's father who accepts him, following Oliver's departure, as who he is and supports his love for Oliver makes him a stronger person in the future. And as such Elio does not doubt himself or his identity anymore or breathlessly long for Oliver later on. Only looking back on the happy memories, they had together.

Both stories no matter how different end up with the coming out having a positive impact on the protagonist's life going forward. 5. Sources

Primary Sources

Albertalli, B. (2015). Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda. London: Penguin Books Aciman, A. (2007). Call Me by Your Name. London: Atlantic Books.

Secondary Sources

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